Tag: emotional healing

The Multidimensionality Of Being A Woman

Published on by Raianna ShaiLeave a comment

By Raianna Shai

There are so many buried emotions that live within the feminine. So many lifetimes of suppression, persecution and judgement have colored our souls leading us now to either feel small and unworthy or constantly fighting against feeling this way again. Both of these frequencies keep us from being in our full bigness and empowerment as women – and instead allow these pains to keep us from embodying peace and divine love within.

I’ve noticed a theme in the collective lately, even in the last few years of hating men. Ranging from a distaste to true disgust. This always bothered a part of me as I have known so many wonderful and caring men in my life. Yet in a recent process of mine I was looking back on my teenage years and remembered a time that the boys in my high school acted in a way that made the girls feel belittled, judged and truly demeaned as if the only thing we had to offer were our looks. When going back to this time I felt more rage than I have ever felt in my life. It was coursing through my veins to the point of shaking and cursing.

It was a feeling I haven’t allowed myself to feel often in my life, for fear of hurting others or being judged for the intensity of it. But after so many years of this anger being suppressed I finally had a safe enough container inside to let it all out toward this specific memory. What came after was a realization that much of this energy came from the “killer queen” who feels like an archetype that many women have within them to some degree. She has formed from lifetimes of the feminine being treated as lesser than the masculine and not being able to express our gifts. Not even coming close to being cherished and honoured for them.

And yet, we chose this for a reason. We chose to live out and express this feminine/masculine dance and to hopefully heal from it and move into something brand new. I feel the need for humanity to go through this cycle of a pendulum swing from the masculine being in power, to the feminine reclaiming it’s power. Both extremes come at a cost yet I can see the other side of it. What comes next is true collaboration, respect and care between the masculine and feminine. A bond so yearned for and desired that it can’t help but unfold exponentially within each of us and then collectively. I feel this is something all of our souls have been waiting for.

Jelelle led a group call about the inner mother/matriarch that I feel really ties into this theme. As Kasha mentioned in her recent post, the inner mother has had to express as more masculine because of the lack of true masculine support on the outside. In her heart she wants to be able to lean in and discover who she really is as a woman. I feel the more shadowy matriarch energy too in the anger towards the masculine, often drawing more of that wounded masculine energy in her frustration and anger.

As we feel and heal the inner mother/matriarch we begin to understand more of who we are as women and the frequencies we’ve chosen to live in – inside and out. We’ve inherited so much from our birth mothers and mother figures in our lives that getting to know this part of us is key in unlocking what is truly ours to hold. And eventually, we can move through the anger and into a place of forgiveness for self and the masculines we’ve experienced in our lives. Coming back into peace and self love, only to draw more of that on the outside.

~~~

Raianna Shai is a SoulFullHeart facilitant and community member of the SoulFullHeart Way of Life. Visit https://www.soulfullheart.org for more information about space holding sessions and free 45-min intro calls, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Letting Go of Hell To Let In Heaven

Published on by Raianna ShaiLeave a comment

By Raianna Shai

Eeeee! This is the first time I’ve ever filmed a video like this, sharing my process spontaneously through video but it felt so good and natural in the end. We’ve been talking a lot recently as a community about sharing like this more and trying to show what this process is like in a more intimate way, as well as how we relate to each other.

In this video, I talk about a process I had over our group weekend with a gatekeeper of mine. What I discovered is that he was gatekeeping not my own soul, but a whole dimension of masculine sufferring that my soul seemed to have tapped into. This has led to a feeling in myself of needing to save the masculine and pull these aspects out of their own hell. But ultimately, that’s their journey to take and not mine to hold.

This has led to so much relief and unanchoring inside of me that I am finally feeling a fluid and easy connection with the divine in a way that I’ve always heard about and wanted.

I hope this resonates with you or however it lands and thank you again for taking it in ♥️

~~~

Raianna Shai is a SoulFullHeart facilitant and community member of the SoulFullHeart Way of Life. Visit https://www.soulfullheart.org for more information about space holding sessions and free 45-min intro calls, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Arising Sacred Soul Turns

Published on by Kasha RosaLeave a comment

by Kasha Rokshana

We are all in the midst of an invitation to make some very courageous ‘soul turns’ as we move out of this Samhain passage and into what could be a whole new phase of claiming/reclaiming ourselves, our Divinity and Divine connection, and what we are most drawn to yet parts of us may be afraid of fully diving into. 

A ‘soul turn’ is a turn away from the suffering patterns your soul has known so well and moving into something new and unknown, yet potentially very healing. It’s a time when you know that the old and painful story is ready to truly let go, through choosing to feel it deeper and have it truly reconcile in your heart.

Soul patterns of suffering can show up in our bodies, our relationships, our service-of-love expression and draw. They also show up inside of us, in repeating cycles of reaction, push-pull, pull away, or shut down, which can sometimes even be subtle as they’ve also become so normalized.

I’ve been feeling and working a deep soul-rooted rejection wound which feels like it ultimately leads me back to separation… the feeling of having been removed from the eternal bliss bath of being truly one with the Divine, with my beloved, with soul family. One and yet also swimming together in a pool of uniqueness. Playing with just enough duality at times to truly enjoy the mirrors and play of the dance. 

But then comes the plummet to this Gaian reality of Ascension and the turmoil of trying to find each other again, trying to come back into a deeper oneness and unity within again too after experiencing the trauma of life in the Matrix. 

Perhaps at the heart of all of our suffering and pain, is this journey. And this is where we can experience our soul turning away from the suffering ground of this and into more and more of that feeling of REunion that I think deep down we all are longing for. It’s a turn away from the ‘evidence’ of rejection and into a new sense that we do get to become and also draw what it is we most want (and need).

Join us for a group call this coming Sunday, November 5th, @ 5pm GMT, about this topic of feeling our soul turns and also the life transitions we are facing. Raphael and Jelelle will be leading it and it’s going to be quite powerful! It’s by donation, as always, and you can join live or just receive the recording: Here is some more info: soulfullheart.org/events 

Love,

Kasha 

***

Kasha Rokshana is a Divine Feminine Love Ambassador, SoulFullHeart Women’s Facilitator, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheart.org for more information about space-holding sessions and free 45-min intro calls, group calls, videos, community, etc. 

Choosing To Live

Published on by Raianna ShaiLeave a comment

By Raianna Shai

It’s a fine line to balance your healing between deep inward feeling and outward clear currency. To dive deep into emotion means to be so honest and transparent with yourself that each part of you gets to feel every single thing that comes up for them. Whether it’s fear, joy, grief, peace, sadness, relief… it’s all so sacred and needs to be felt in its full capacity.

There’s a common fear in that deep dive though that you’ll never make it out of the heavy emotions. That you’ll be stuck in this void of depression and sorrow – trapped in your own inner hell. What I’ve discovered for myself is that not going to these places also causes a hell inside. Constantly invalidating and pushing down these feelings that will always be there until they’re addressed, felt and loved. When they aren’t felt, they come out sideways through reactions that we don’t totally understand. In anger, frustration and feeling inadequate or unworthy.

This is where the other side of the line is so important. There needs to be a bigger energy in the space to hold these deeper feelings. The divine, your higher self, something that can be even just a little bit bigger than the hopelessness. Something that brings air to the container that you’re holding for these parts of yourself. As this bigger energy holds these deeper emotions, a clarity and confidence starts to arise.

From there we find sobriety, truth, transparency and a deep claim of our parts and our relationships to others. In my recent process I’ve felt a mix of my inner teenager, shadow queen and inner punisher and how they all relate to one another. I learned how much my inner punisher and shadow queen were both suppressing and being suppressed, unable to express their truth to me and others.

As I deeply felt all three of these parts I started to feel a release and relief. Clarities started coming through, more truth was allowed to come out, more air entered into my entire being and all the despair and sobbing in that process became so worth it. I’m still in progress with this but so many layers have shed already.

We can try and go under or over the feelings all we want but the ONLY way to move it is through. Allow the feelings to take you on a journey, to change you from the inside out. You end up becoming so connected to your parts that you will do whatever you can to provide them the love and relief they desperately need. Choosing this depth of feeling is choosing to finally LIVE. And each time I make that choice to live and not let my soul or heart die, I become that much more whole and connected to my soul purpose.

I hope that you decide in this moment to choose to live ♥️

~~~

Raianna Shai is a SoulFullHeart facilitant and community member of the SoulFullHeart Way of Life. Visit https://www.soulfullheart.org for more information about space holding sessions and free 45-min intro calls, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Dear Inner Teenagers…

Published on by Raianna ShaiLeave a comment

By Raianna Shai

Dear inner teenagers,

I love you all so much for the range you can express from angry, frustrated, and misunderstood to sensitive, passionate, and caring. You have held both our deepest desires and deepest fears, keeping our hearts alive and on fire.

There may be times when other parts suppress you or judge the way you are, but that’s what we’re here for. We are here to help you heal your wounds created in adolescence and beyond. To remove you from the frontlines of life and tuck you in where it’s safe to just be you. We are here to help you mature into the creative and compassionate beings that you are in your core.

We are also here to learn from you and receive your gifts. You offer a perspective that ignites curiosity and claim of what’s real in the world. You are consistently trying to find the heart of everything. The heart of truth, love, fear, and even life itself. I have often found teenagers to be the most questioning of the status quo and the false picture of perfection that “adults” seem determined to hold together.

Then there’s the vulnerability. You wear your hearts on your sleeves without even trying which can cause pain and suffering without the true leadership that comes from our higher selves holding the space for you. We have to listen to you, feel you and help you heal so that we can help each other feel complete. And in your healing, we find our inner kings and queens that should truly be leading our relationships.

We are here to help you shine!

Love,
The souls who wish to heal you ♥️

~~~

Raianna Shai is a SoulFullHeart facilitant and community member of the SoulFullHeart Way of Life. Visit https://www.soulfullheart.org for more information about space holding sessions and free 45-min intro calls, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Reunion

Published on by Raianna ShaiLeave a comment

By Raianna Shai

The other day I was sitting in the grass near a chapel with my cat, and I got this deep sense of reunion flood through me. It was the day after our Soulfullheart three day gathering here in Portugal and with everything we all felt and moved through, I was left with a sense of completeness.

In each of our processes, we digested similar themes of telling our truth, being current and real in relationships and feeling why parts of us struggle to express both of these things. On the other side of these processes, my heart was filled with hope and understanding that everything we’ve ever dreamed of is all before us.

We’re simply wading through the emotional waters that are helping us arrive at our inner and outer heaven so that all parts of us can come along. Not just the ones that are ready and aren’t scared anymore, but the ones that are still scared and need us to love them through it.

With this in my mind and heart, this poem and video came out as a reflection of that reunion feeling inside and out. Things are coming together for each of us in different ways and ultimately, even when it feels like our path is being steered in a different direction, we’re still always getting closer to the heaven we want. For it’s always accessible on the inside ♥️

Here’s the poem:

I feel reunion
Dancing in the air
Reminding us to keep feeling
To keep letting in love
To keep dreaming of all you desire

It feels like falling in love
With yourself
With community
With beloveds

Like all the puzzle pieces
Are falling into place
Completing the mosaic
Of your heart and soul

Reunion brings you back to your heart
Back to your purpose
Back to your passion

It ignites all the colours
Of your inner rainbow
Even those left in shadow
Ready to be shown the light

Crack open the door
That’s been long shut
In fear of hurt or shame

Come home to your parts
Let them feel the love
They so deserve and desire

Let reunion pour in
Filling every crack
Every doubt
Every fear

And breathe in the new timeline
That you’ve created inside
Only to be mirrored
On the outside

The divine loves you
As you love you

~~~

Raianna Shai is a SoulFullHeart facilitant and community member of the SoulFullHeart Way of Life. Visit https://www.soulfullheart.org for more information about space holding sessions and free 45-min intro calls, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Chakra Clearing Transmission

Published on by Raianna ShaiLeave a comment

By Raianna Shai

Lately I’ve been in a process of feeling the parts of me that have been numbed, neutralized, and suppressed for different reasons and often in forms of protection. I felt my inner masculine and inner queen ready to help move these parts into more aliveness, vitality, passion, connection to a sense of purpose and to heal these muted tendencies.

Since I’ve begun this journey I’ve already felt an amazing amount of energy from doing energizing yoga to move my physical energy flow, feeling the parts that are resistant to anything changing, and reconnecting with service to others in a new way. Part of this was listening to Jelelle’s chakra meditation using singing bowls in order to feel out my energy body and where it might be getting stuck. You can listen to that here: https://youtu.be/zR_aMtJK4lc

After this, I felt inspired to write this poem to share what the divine, the Magdalene’s and my higher self are energizing to me and my parts. Each stanza is related to a different chakra and how my whole being can come alive in a new way. To leave this story that I don’t have fire or passion and to discover what my version of that is, and why it’s been suppressed for good reasons. Perhaps it’s something you needed to hear as well. ♥️

Awaken yourself
For you have work to do
Inside and out
In service and of self

Enliven yourself
For you are being called to answer your soul
To discover your purpose
And serve from love’s overflow

Hear yourself
For your truth holds a power
Strong enough to love
And soft enough to move mountains

Feel yourself
For you are no longer suppressed
Your heart is aching to come alive
And rest in the lap of the divine

Empower yourself
For anything less no longer serves
You are ready to be bigger
To be inspired and passionate

Love yourself
For it lives and breathes within
Waiting to heal every part of you
And ignite your lover’s potential

Ground yourself
For you are held in deep surrender
As you learn to trust the fall
That this initiation will inspire

~~~

Raianna Shai is a SoulFullHeart facilitant and community member of the SoulFullHeart Way of Life. Visit https://www.soulfullheart.org for more information about space holding sessions and free 45-min intro calls, group calls, videos, community, etc.

The Inner Sacred Union Dance

Published on by Raianna ShaiLeave a comment

By Raianna Shai

Her: “I’m here”
Him: “I’m on my way”

These are the words my inner masculine and feminine said to each other in a SoulFullHeart sacred union group call. In meditation, we journeyed to a ball where our feminine and masculine parts met to dance with each other and feel out their relationship. So much was illuminated for me in this simple visualization about the ways in which my own inner relationships have been projected onto my outer ones.

At first, both of these parts were quite young feeling. Like a prince and princess coming together in excitement and play. This felt very sweet but I also realized that those energies are what I feel most comfortable expressing in relationships. I can be young, playful and joyful but I struggle to go into the deeper tones of woman, lover, and passionate soul.

As they came towards each other on the dance floor they became older and more mature. A veil started to fade and all of their fears and strategies started to show more clearly. My masculine, Matthew, began to feel a flood of inadequacy and unworthiness to be able to show up for my feminine, Iris. Her tendency is to caretake him and try to overcompensate for the inadequacy that he was feeling inside. She felt the guidance to not respond this way and to wait for something different to arise in her.

Later in the meditation, they connected with Yeshua and Mary Magdalene as feminine and masculine templates that we are all capable of holding inside of ourselves. Magdalene invited Iris to just be in the room with Matthew and invite him into something new, but also to let go and allow him to find it within himself. Yeshua placed his forehead on Matthew’s to energize that they are really no different and that he is fully capable of all the compassion, openness and passion that he so admires in Yeshua.

Matthew felt so much release in that message and finally cried after many days of not being able to access much emotion. He crumbled to the floor as Iris just sat next to him, radiating love and support for this journey he will go on to find even deeper love for himself and from the divine. I feel a deep surrogacy coming for him from Yeshua, and even a merging in ways he never thought possible.

This is when they spoke –

Her: “I’m here”
Him: “I’m on my way”

I realized after this experience that so much of this dynamic was showing up in relationships on the outside. Whether my mate felt inadequacy or I felt it, that energy was always in the space. And if it was felt by my mate then I would instinctively go into caretaking, preventing them from finding it for themselves and essentially taking away their opportunity to find deep self love.

If I felt it, I couldn’t quite go into it deeply and find the source of it while in the relationship. Now that I’m single, I’ve been able to go deeper into this wound so that whatever future explorations I have, I will feel so much more centered inside of myself and will know how to hold it with them, instead of for them. I would also draw less of this dynamic as it heals within my own heart and soul.

~~~

Raianna Shai is a SoulFullHeart facilitant and community member of the SoulFullHeart Way of Life. Visit https://www.soulfullheart.org for more information about space holding sessions and free 45-min intro calls, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Tipping & Turning Point In Awakening

Published on by Jelelle AwenLeave a comment

By Jelelle Awen

This is a tipping and turning point for so many awakening souls it seems, especially as we emerge out of the 10:10 portal (“1” of new beginnings and the ‘O’ of the void space) and into the eclipse passage and then through 11:11. This is a potent time of year for death and rebirth and for tensions held at the cellular level to be revealed and resolved.

This year feels even more heightened with peaking Matrix/war/Great Reset agendas, personal sufferings/traumas, housing/survival based struggles, money tightness and scarcity, relationship issues/completions/break ups, false light/teacher community abuses and collapses, body illness/symptoms….ALL of it coming up against a place of intolerance to fear and our Divine self/sacred humanity embodiment. Anything fear based and in shadow is wanting to be transmuted by and with love.

I’ve felt an upgrading process going on for myself recently too, illuminated by a visceral and cellular trauma clearing at the physical and emotional levels triggered by a real life situation here. I really had to BE with these energies and emotions, allowing them and feeling directly the part of me who was experiencing them, using them as a portal, and offer a loving and compassionate heart space for this part to sink into.

After some necessary guttural tears (those that come from deep in the gut, deep from the womb), digestion with Raphael, and an ambassadorship to the source of the pain (in ‘other’ form yet still just a reflection of me), I feel another degree in my seat of centered self, in goodness in my life and in a current flow of increased service. A fear knot that was drawn this life yet comes from a soul source (as always) is dissolving as I respond to the tension that needs my attention.

I wanted to share some wisdoms/soul guidances that came through me and in collaboration with other bright souls in intros, sessions with me and during our community gathering in the last couple weeks…you can feel what resonates for you too:

– Sometimes you need an ‘outer home’ that represents heaven, beauty, and is a truly safe sanctuary for you. You need this for a phase of time to remind you of what is possible. And, then, sometimes this home is ‘taken away’ from you, sometimes suddenly and in a way that can leave some trauma (in this case it was during a sudden flood). This is actually a reminder and a recoding that ‘sanctuary is within you’, ‘safety is within you’, ‘beauty is within you’. Feeling the parts of you who have focused outward and feel trauma when this ‘home’ is taken away, you can invite them into the sanctuary of your heart.

– Inner masculine and Inner feminine dynamics are being illuminated in relationships that have been limiting in some way. Not necessarily abusive or outright toxic, yet rather the more subtle kinds of misalignments, outgrowing previous soul contracts, and lack of resonance in awakening that can take years to fully be ‘done’ with. The masculine feels so much pressure, tension, control, inadequacy, and protection over the growing sense of dissatisfaction, unhappiness, and hurt in the inner feminine who just wants MORE and isn’t able to get it in the bond esp as he retracts away.

His need to be needed hits her want to be wanted and a polarization occurs, collapse of vulnerability and intimacy. Inside and outside, this is a tense place to live long term and eventually it runs out of ground as mercy and compassion leads to completion on the outside and resolution on the inside.

– The cycle of suffering itself becomes the addiction, not the outward behavior of abusing food, alcohol, work or in relationships. The loop of the inner punisher (working out of a hijacked need of self protection) judging and controlling the inner child, which crushes them into a shame place, an unworthiness place, and a hurt place. Which just leads the Punisher to up the ante on the suffering loop, drawing life circumstances and relationships that amplify and reflect this. Feeling and connecting with both parts of the looping, coming in between them with compassionate self love, allows this cycle to complete on the inside and outside.

– There is increased desire coming up to offer service to others and follow soul purpose. This is meant to activate in an overflow of love as you awaken or parts of you can become too isolated, too self absorbed, too oriented to ‘self’. Service to others in a clean way (not false light/ego gratification or for money-motivation or to control/have power over others) can only arise as the inner and outer personal relationships are healing from traumas, protections, and projections. Moving from trauma bonds to resonant bonds.

True service is a reflection of the depth of intimacies in your life, not a compartment for which you ‘show up as a professional’. In the overflow of nourishing relationships (inside and out), you are able to then overflow that love to others in service WITH them as a mirror of the goodness possibilities.-

– At some point, the ‘parts work process’ has to drop away so that the Divine Self embodiment can occur and deepen. It is a temporary bridge, very helpful for a time, yet can be crutch to the degree there isn’t deeper Divine surrender and leaning in. Even beloved mentors and teachers (including me of course) can only hold a mirror, not be substitutes for deeper going into your own embodiment initiations in which your soul ‘takes over’ from there.

And I received this wonderful testimonial this week too,

“Thank you for everything Jelelle! I am feeling MUCH better and can eat again and have already put 4 pounds back on and not feeling nausea. I am so thankful for you!!! You helped me a lot and I hope my testimony will encourage others to go to you for help. – Beth

If you are drawn to a free intro call over zoom, 1:1 session over zoom or here in Portugal and ongoing mentoring support, with me, Raphael (for men), or Kasha (for women) PM me/us and there is more info at soulfullheart.org/sessions

You are also invited to join us for a healing cycles of suffering group call on Sunday, October 15th in which we will dive into some of these areas, plus offer a meditation/sound transmission journey. Info about offering a donation to attend/get the recording at soulfullheart.org/events.

Pic of me was taken on the lovely cliffs at Nazare, at the central Portugal coast, a place of beloved soul activations and remembrances for me

Validate Every Part Of You (Video)

Published on by Kasha RosaLeave a comment

by Kasha Rokshana

It’s so important to validate every feeling you have, as they lead you into such deep connection with different parts of you and into such transformation of your life inside and out as well. 

It can feel like a lot to feel sometimes, and a lot to digest, yet making space to be with what’s real for you/your parts/your heart and soul is truly where it’s at and in my experience, it leads to more openings within and with the divine as well. It can also lead to more openings with others who truly resonate… and help you sort out/let go of the relationships that don’t. 

I hold space for women who want to engage deeper in this process and it’s such an honour to do so! Visit soulfullheart.org/sessions for more info on free intro calls and 1:1 sessions which are for a negotiated rate. 

Love,

Kasha

***

Kasha Rokshana is a Divine Feminine Love Ambassador, SoulFullHeart Women’s Facilitator, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheart.org for more information about space-holding sessions and free 45-min intro calls, group calls, videos, community, etc.