Tag: emotional pain

The Alchemy & Illumination Of Our Reactivity

Published on by Kasha Rokshana2 Comments

by Kalayna Colibri

It’s natural and human to have reactions. In this collective we’re part of today, with so much going on and being uncovered, having reactions is part of the gig of being here and expectedly so.

I could feel a message wanting to come through this morning about how we’re invited to BE with our reactivity. I felt the analogy of chemical reactions being offered… How they are wanted and provoked because they show the change of one substance into another, how they bring about healing in different contexts too. I like this analogy when it comes to feeling our own reactivity and how much we need it. Reactions tell us so much about ourselves and our souls, what pain lies beneath the surface, and invites us to see the beauty of our messes, inside and out, while we work to heal the wounds bringing around the reactions in the first place.

We’re here to react and feel our reactions. Reactivity is needed, as it tells us where to dig. The metal detector sounds an alarm when it senses metal on a sandy beach. We get to feel how this is related to our own mining for the parts of us that need us inside. Life is really one big ‘metal detector’ in that way, isn’t it? We’re being given tons of data in the form of reflections from our relationships, jobs, even our spiritual paths, that shows us where we next need to dig if we can find it within to go there. Our reactivity also tells us there’s something going on in this world at large or even just our inner worlds or social worlds that isn’t OK anymore and encourages us to set boundaries wherever needed. Feeling outrage is a kind of reaction. Wanting to fight or go to war or even just shut down altogether are other kinds. Parts of us might feel these ways and understandably so, especially as we move through this phase of 4D awakening rumbles and shakes and into the next of really letting in New Earth/5D frequencies as our daily reality.

What it feels like we’re witnessing and part of right now, is a megalithic vat of intense chemical and alchemical reactions, all happening as part of the sacred process of change and evolution. Denying our parts the right to have their reactions denies them the possibility of feeling what’s underneath them and healing what we’ve come here to heal. Being illuminated for us now too, is the difference between reactivity and actual feeling, which is key to this process of healing. Instead of choosing to fight or lash-out because that’s the impulse in the moment, we’re invited to feel this energy as coming from a part of us that is afraid of being vulnerable and feeling what he/she actually needs from us or from others or both. The outrage against the world or your relationships may be what’s needed for a phase, yet we’re invited to move out of these cycles of reaction through feeling the pain beneath it and aching it out in the arms of Divine love and self love.

Our reactions and the reactions vibrating in the collective are opportunities to feel where love is being resisted and yet where it most wants to flow. It is up to us all individually how we choose to download and interpret this data coming in and how we’d like to BE with it as it digests and the dust being kicked up by it settles onto the newly emerging ground of expanding love consciousness and ability to let real love in.

Much love! ❤

~

If you’re feeling awareness emerge for you of your reactivity and your curious how this applies to your parts and your Metasoul, my beloveds offer exquisite and illuminating space holding sessions that are also very affordable. For more information, you can visit this page: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/bridging-session.

***

Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart co-founder, soul scribe, and poetess. Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Holding & Healing ‘Victim’ Parts/Metasoul Aspects Of You

Published on by Kasha Rokshana1 Comment

by Kalayna Colibri

Waves of feeling like a victim can come in intense and thick, like tidal waves really… it can feel as if you’ll never surface, never be able to expand your being, your consciousness, beyond this place. It so helps to see and feel the bigger picture in this moments, but first, the parts that feel as if they are victims need to be felt. Without going here, what has felt like innate and formidable powerlessness cannot transmute for good into a place of deep power within… there are parts of you who HAVE been genuine victims, who are stuck vibrating in these timelines. Taking away any compassion towards these parts is not the answer that works. Instead, become a container for them, bring them back inward, feel their reality with them, and show them, from your heart and soul, that life can be different and become an example of this for them to lean into.

Approaching parts or Metasoul Aspects of you who have felt like victims is like approaching someone with strong PTSD. You need to be soft and strong both, and become a sacred container for their energy, a place where they can lay their heads, cry, scream, remember, move through it WITH you in the room with them — something they haven’t had before now.

It may not always feel like this to parts of you or your Metasoul Aspects vibrating in timelines of victimhood, persecution, or abuse, but there is always an invitation to heal and move beyond this place… for life wants to experience you in your power and collaborate with you, not just have to bring you more mirrors before you can truly heal this one.

Life, love, and ultimately Ascension itself, all want to love and help you love these parts of you UP so you can expand and support others who are working through the same. We all go together when it comes to the collective healing of these patterns and ways of being and feeling. We all enter the gates of Golden/New Earth together, as this gift of higher, more healed consciousness is for us ALL, not only a select few… and the work involved in meeting each other there is all so worth it if we can truly feel all there is to feel and transmute the pattern of victimhood within especially, from the inside out. ❤

~

If you want support in moving through these frequencies of victimhood and powerless with parts of you and Metasoul Aspects too, I would love to serve you and so would my beloveds: http://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/bridging-sessions ❤

***

Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 35, emoto-spiritual teacher, WayShower, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

 

Practical Ascension Vlog: Emotional Area Personal Process Sharings

Published on by Kasha Rokshana1 Comment

by Gabriel Heartman and Kalayna Colibri

In this video, SoulFullHeart Facilitators, Teachers and Sacred Union mates, Gabriel Heartman and Kalayna Colibri, share from their personal process paths in the emotional area of life. They talk about what some of the major themes were inside of themselves as they began their SoulFullHeart process and what emotional themes led them each to this path.

Kalayna and Gabriel have been on their individual SoulFullHeart paths for over 6 years. They have made the decision over and over again to go inward, discovering different parts of themselves that were up front and in the shadows, with a willingness in their hearts to continue looking in the mirror. This is challenging to do, especially in a world that has us conditioned to look outward for answers, ‘fixing’ and healing.

An essential aspect of the emotional process in SoulFullHeart is feeling and being felt in a safe and held environment while receiving reflections from a Facilitator and space-holder who has been there and who continues to do their own work ongoingly. The emotional intimacy experienced inside of yourself and inside of this relationship with your Facilitator and the SoulFullHeart community too, is one that offers deep healing and a soul and heart bond that is free of grabbing or tugging, yet is loving in a profound way that has not often been templated or experienced before.

In other videos for this area, Gabriel and Kalayna will be talking about specific parts of you (inner protector, inner punisher, inner teenager, inner mother/father), who and what they are, where they come from, and what their pain can be and often is about, and what your process with this part of you could look and feel like.

If you have any questions or comments, you can leave them in the comment thread here or find us on Facebook (just look for Kalayna Colibri and/or Gabriel Heartman and/or SoulFullHeart Way Of Life!). You can also email soulfullhearts@gmail.com.

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life. Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess. 

 Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

The Leading And Trailing Edges Of Our Awakenings

Published on by Kasha Rokshana3 Comments

by Kalayna Colibri

far_away_____by_machiavellicro-d5xwik5

Each and every time you have an awakening experience, though they are coveted and desired and often long-awaited and worked for, these experiences also carry you into a greater unknown. The whole idea of awakening is to shake something up inside, whether it moves your frequency up or drops back in inward into parts of you that need you more than ever. Sometimes awakening experiences bring us both in tandem. Sometimes we call this, ‘leading edge’ and ‘trailing edge’ in SoulFullHeart. ‘Leading edge’ is the experience of true and pure love awakening and deepening inside and feeling your actions, words, expression of you coming from a higher, less reactive and more expansive place, and ‘trailing edge’ is the opposite, or what can feel like the opposite; the parts of you coming up in reaction to the expansion, trying to close the gap between it and them, sometimes flooding you with their lower frequency wounding and reality. The main bridge between the two is consciousness, awareness that this can and will happen and that your job as an arising authentic self is to be an ambassador between the two, not negating or dismissing one or the other, yet bringing them together somehow and letting the newfound expansiveness inside to become the bigger container for the smallness, the pain, the existential terror.

I remember being quite young and awakening to angelic frequencies and love. My birth mother had given me a gift that Christmas of my first deck of Angel cards. They were simple yet sweet, not created by any well-known author or speaker. I was in my early teens at that time, or just about anyways. I remember playing with them, exploring them, reading the little book they came with. I did as the book instructed and asked a question I believe, or simply asked for guidance. I did a little spread of the cards and picked them up to read the other side. The messages that came through hit a chord of resonance inside my heart and soul, both. I felt a rush of energy move through me and suddenly felt Angels, what I called ‘my’ Angels, surrounding and encouraging me. The love I felt was so exquisite, I believe I even had tears… I remember too, that the book suggested dowsing as another method of reading the cards. I grabbed a necklace of mine with a small ring on it – a ring that had a nickname of mine etched into it and was too small for me to wear, so I had put it on the chain instead. I held it out in front of me, above my palm, to ‘tune it in’, asking it which direction it would turn in to mean ‘yes’ and which way would mean ‘no’. To my surprise, oh my God, it MOVED!! Woah!! The rush of adrenaline and excitement that followed I can’t explain in words, but it felt so powerful and I felt so powerful to be holding this tool in my hand!

After this happened, I ran to tell my mother and sister about what I had experienced. Part of me felt a bit shy about sharing, slightly worried about it being invalidated, but too excited to let that in at the time. I shared with them and my heart sank… there was an ounce of validation from my mother, who was exploring some areas of spirituality outside of the Catholic church I grew up in along with me, yet she couldn’t let it in deeply and didn’t ask any questions about it. My sister just sort of looked at me, I recall. I think she said something like, ‘that’s cool’. As my first experience of an awakening, without having much knowledge of what awakenings even were at the time, this sort of set the tone for any of my other awakenings that followed. I do not fault either of them for their reactions… their parts weren’t sure what to do with any of this and they probably both had fear and maybe even comparison come up. What I was doing was not ‘normal’ and I think it actually reflected their own capacities back to them, which of course parts, especially Inner Protectors/Gatekeepers who are busy trying to navigate the dense 3D world, tend to have big reactions to, as it isn’t exactly safe to be outside the norm in most cases.

Nonetheless, this birthed a whole world of spirituality for me. It validated so much of what I had begun to read about in different books by spiritual authors. I feel a young part of me sharing all of this, as she was the one who primarily ‘drove the bus’ on my spiritual adventures for many years of my life. Eventually, this part and I needed to separate from birth family and many other relationships altogether, as the lack of resonance hurt and also wasn’t serving my continued openings and my desire to deeply heal.

What followed was many years of seeking and searching. Being very naturally emotional and reactive and not having a container for it, no matter what spiritual path I/part of me tried on for size. I came close to some version of ‘parts work’ through one particular author and speaker who I even studied with for a while and this path was what then led me to SoulFullHeart, which I now teach and facilitate today. It took me a long time to realize that I needed to bridge to my emotional world, not try to put it away. And in truth, my parts weren’t ever going to let me do that anyway!

Every awakening I’ve had has been a mixed experience of up and down, sometimes at the same time, as I can feel my emotional body and also the wounding in my soul trying to catch up with the higher frequencies pouring in and watering my heart with so much love and dawning awareness. I invite you to feel where and how your own emotional body needs to catch up to your own awakenings and openings… to feel how your relationships currently surrounding you serve or don’t serve you along the way is an essential part of awakening and growing and healing. Every new vista invites us all to feel deeper where and who we are as well as who we want and need to become. And, they also invite us deeper into love, so we can better serve love, especially to others who truly want and need us to and are ready to let in their own capacity for the same!

Love to you in each and every moment of your awakening journey… know that my love and the love of many go into these places WITH you! ❤

Come explore the 7 Key Areas Of Life with Gabriel Heartman and me in our new vlog series called Practical Ascension! The playlist of all of our videos so far can be found here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLNmrHdaQSAvInP1AB__TzXykZythfad8i

***

Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

From Heaven to Hell: The Sacred Ground Of Being Popped Into And Out Of 5D

Published on by Gabriel Heartman1 Comment

18

There has been an interesting dynamic occurring lately, where a few souls have been asking for assistance with a particular spiritual situation.  The scenario generally goes like this: A person has a huge awakening experience that comes to them seemingly out of the blue.  They have been “popped” into a conscious 5D awareness.  The visceral experiences vary, but the feeling is one of elation and bliss.  A whole new way of being in life.  And then, something happens to clunk them back into a denser frequency that feels like a hell in comparison to where they were at.  Intense reactions and thoughts get pushed up that make life almost unbearable to live after that.  I feel like this may be happening more and more, and those that are dealing with it feeling like they are alone in this “nightmare” that a part of them is experiencing. Perhaps you can relate with this too.

What is happening here? How could you be so high one minute and be so low the next without a sense of how or why? There could be a multitude of different individual reasons, but one general one that feels true is that there are woundings that are needing to be addressed that have not been resolved/healed in your emotional body.  The stay in 5D has a shelf life equivalent to what has been repressed and unfelt as traumas in your shadow.  There is a big soul drama being played out in the court of your human heart and it is asking for attention.

Now, how it got to be this way can be easily, and understandably, taken as it being done to you by someone else. You could ‘blame’ a negative entity or a teacher/healer’s etheric malpractice happening to you.  Once you have rescinded to the status of victim, you have lost your power.  So, first thing, you must take power back.  Realize that this is all being conducted by the Higher Self, not as a punishment, for love doesn’t punish, but as an opportunity to reclaim the buried and lost parts of yourself before taking off into deeper conscious territories of experience.  This is a big one to let in and be with for it grants the courage and conditions to make the next steps.

The next step is to feel how this feeling of hell is being held by a PART of you and not all of you.  It is a very scared 3D protector part that so much needs to feel someone bigger than the hell itself.  In fact, this part created the hell in order to be felt in all the traumas that still exist.  It says, “Hey, yo! You can’t just leave me here all alone! I have some things to say!” It is banking on the fact that you will give up the awakening path because it is too much for it to bear.  By feeling it as a separate part, a dialogue and relationship can form that can offer some relief.  There could be many “this life” 3D traumas that are also triggering Metasoul woundings at the same time.  It can be a spaghetti pretzel of a mess emotionally without the help of a mirror to help assist someone in untangling the knots, such as what we offer in the SoulFullHeart process.

It is important to understand that the “hell” you find yourself in is a sacred birthing ground.  It is not to be saved from or given temporary relief.  It is for a very important process.  It may even need to continue if your soul has signed up to experience something that it needs and wants to experience. In SoulFullHeart, there are no promises or guarantees that you can, or should, exit this very difficult place.  It is all an unfolding that takes much dedication and yet may still not yield the desired results if that is not what is meant to occur.

BUT, there is a process that can be had that can help to create the space from it so you can take the next steps.  I have had many “hell” experiences myself and can understand the intense emotions that are swirling inside.  However, there has to be just enough of a solid self and self-love there to create the space necessary to feel the parts inside you that are needing attention.  This is where the SoulFullHeart Process can be of service.  My heart goes out to those that are living in this intensity and hold it as a very sacred time, even though it feels scary as hell.

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.