By Jelelle Awen
What is in my heart today are the lost ones, the ones called ‘dark’, the ones called ‘crazy’. The ones forgotten in the din and busyness of 3D life. The ones who don’t know how to play the ‘game’ or how to ‘get ahead’. The ones so sensitive that their hearts seem to burst and break with every injustice and abuse.
These ones live inside of you. They take the form and shape of your Inner Teenager. Your Inner Child. Your Inner Punisher. Your Inner Protector. Your Gatekeeper. Aspects from other timelines and lifetimes too.
They are beyond shape and age and time too. Their energies are so often stuck in a looping pattern of trauma, like a suffering-based Ground Hog’s Day that never seems to end. They are beyond time in that the traumas are happening over and over…not in the ‘past’. They become these traumas and cannot seem to escape from the aftermath of them…no matter how much conscious ‘work’ is done to heal from these situations. That is why so often you can feel a trailing edge emotional reactivity and wounding that still lingers on no matter how many spiritual awakening and bliss/Oneness/Kundalini experiences that you have.
When you access and connect to these hidden ones directly inside yourself, they can start to see that there IS a reality outside of the pain path they have known. As they feel YOU come into their world with compassionate curiosity, they can start to realize that they are not wrong, crazy, or dark at all. Yet, rather, they have often absorbed these energies from others in an effort to transmute them in order to get more love.
This is the way of the empath and sensitive healer soul…and it is often a painful way until the lessons are learned of boundaries that come from self love and self worth. As you feel all these sensitive and empathic parts of yourself, you also open up to the shadow ones that cause the recapitulation of abuse and judgement and even narcissistic pattern behavior too. As you love even the narcissist INSIDE, you provide relief to all parts of yourself and free up the gifts that these parts hold for you as they integrate.
These lost ones become found under the love of your beaming heart. These dark ones become light in response to your compassionate soul. These crazy ones become sane in relationship to your grounded sanity.
This self love process is natural, organic, and ingrained in us as sparks of the Divine. The discovery is held with MUCH love by the Divine Mother and Father as we remember and BEcome the Divine essence of love in wholeness again!
Here is more about parts/Metasoul aspects: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/parts
1:1 sessions available with me over zoom for women to feel and heal these precious parts of your self and soul for $55 USD minimum donation for 90 very FULL minutes! More info here: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions
Note from Jelelle Awen: This is beautiful writing from Devon, who has been in sessions with me for the last few months. She describes wonderfully what it is like to connect with different aspects of yourself (the Inner Punisher and Gatekeeper esp.) and see/feel your world through their lens. You can viscerally feel the energies of these different aspects of her through the sharing of their experience and poetry too. Go here to read more about these parts/Metasoul aspects: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/parts
By Devon Heart Star
As I continue the process of parts work that I have dedicated myself to, during the holiday season, it has become clear that my Inner Punisher needs the most undivided attention and love from me, right now. The Inner Punisher is often a masculine energy and working with this part is similar to Shadow Work. This is not work for the faint of heart and I often want to give up! But my Soul or Higher Self has done so much work with me and continues to support me coming more into Love, that it’s truly impossible to quit.
It’s almost like each part of me has its own pair of glasses it gets to put in front of my eyes, and that is how I experience my 3D life, from the emotional eyes of each of these parts’ feelings, depending upon who’s energy has been pushed up for the most immediate attention. Once I learn about each part and actually get to feel them, giving them space from being fused to me or taking over me, powerful relationships, love, and trust, can begin within, with each of them. And this creates the space for my 4D and 5D and beyond Self to begin to emerge or descend or ascend or settle in. It’s all a very personal experience, yet has a commonality for most people drawn to this work. Eventually, I get to know when I am wearing the glasses that my Heart/Higher Self desires to wear; those of love and vulnerability, and I can continue to practice looking at my various parts with those Heart glasses, offering them the love they are longing for from me.
Back to today’s work with my Inner Punisher, Oscar. In a moment of clarity, when he was feeling safe and loved by me, he showed himself as Oscar the Grouch. I thought it was pretty funny and spot-on, so he took the name Oscar, right about the time I was going to see The Grinch movie. Both of them are green monsters who turned their back on love because of the grief they experienced in not receiving the love they so desired as children. Oscar feels safer being able to retreat into his dark can, where he still believes he deserves to be and is safe from making others angry. When he is in full-swing mode, he is the underlying pair of glasses I don’t even know I’m wearing, the voice within that speaks to me harshly, judges myself and others harshly, at times, although that is just another reason to punish himself, and basically sabotages before we can be sabotaged by someone else.
We have another significant part who seems to offer an escape hatch for Oscar when Oscar feels like his monster-self cannot be loved and the pain of that too much to bear. My Gatekeeper, Jonathan, has had a strong place in my world since my teen years, even though most people do not experience their Gatekeeper until they first really dive deep into parts work. I didn’t know him as the Gatekeeper until parts work, but he was working with me all these years, as I traveled to other dimensions and experienced alternate realities, so to speak. The energies from this would, of course, overwhelm me, physically, but I never could seem to stop them. I am still learning about my relationship with Jonathan and about his connection to Oscar, as he offers him portals and worm holes, and massive amounts of information from other timelines when his emotions become too big for this world. Anyway, Jonathan offered up some wisdom (as he is a most excellent timeless wisdom channel) that I wanted to share:
Forgiveness is a ceremony
Not an act
Self-forgiveness is a ritual
Not just a word
Cultivating forgiveness requires darkness
Diving straight into
the darkest canyons
and depths within
It requires a strength that is so soft
it can tread across
the fires of the Heart
with a willingness to burn up in the attempt
Forgiveness is no small act
You’ll have to face parts of you
that you fear most
who will mirror your courage
in their pleading gaze
You’ll need to bring your biggest light
and that divine part of you
who has no fears
Because cultivating self-forgiveness
creates the bridge
for everyone to come home to love
Thank you, Jonathan!
Everyone can relate to experiencing the Inner Punisher energy and the deep desire to heal within. I’ve learned so much and continue this invaluable process with Jelelle Awen, co-creator of and many other amazing titles at SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. You can get one-to-one very full sessions with her or other wonderful facilitators, find out more at soulfullheartwayoflife.com
I love this heart tribe 💜✨
It feels like a new year already. Somehow we made it through a rebirth canal. Some deep pieces were highlighted for each of us to feel and move through. As the UP ticking of energies continues what feels like a maniacal trajectory, you may be starting to feel the epicness of the year to come. The collective shadow is being drawn toward the increasing light that is being fostered within each of us as well as Gaia’s vibrational ascent.
In a recent session, a truly beautiful soul was feeling as if he was a Dark One. This label so feels like the Scarlet Letter of our inner shadow. There is a heavy judgment, a shame, and a pang of guilt that come with that. The reality, the way I see it and feel it, is really about the most forgotten and hidden aspects of ourselves that are seeking solace, compassion, and understanding underneath the heaviness and/or anger. They are timelines that have profound anchoring in our heart and soul.
This Dark One felt as if it had the burden and responsibility to hold the light due to this guilt and penance for all that it had done in its lifetime. This holding and shining the light in the name of fight or penance don’t actually serve Love. They only serve to sustain the fight and the penance. We were feeling how self-forgiveness and self-love are what hold the mantle of the Light in its purest form.
As a man serving other men, I am sensing this to be a big part of our ascension. We hold so much guilt and shame around what has happened and is happening in other timelines, to put it multidimensionally, that we have formed a layer of either penance, control, or both in order to steer clear of the Dark One inside. Neither of which offers an authentic and deeper feeling of true power WITH the feminine. It can be over and under, or a mix of the two.
So for my own process and intention for this new year, I feel to honor and invite the Dark One into the openness of my heart. It is He that holds the humility, the sobriety, and the poignancy of the Light. It is the Sacred King in us all that seeks not to slay his dragons, but to love them. He asks for the help of his inner guides, as well as the outstretched arms of those that are here to hold that space for him when the time is right. Let us do this together and not alone. That is our next level as New Earth Men.
Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.
Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.
Visit our website to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife/donations.
By Raphael Awen
Not only is it all returning to source…..it is all expanding that source as it does so.
Your life as you know it is a piece of life expressing as a human being, a gender, a Gaian (earthling), possessing multidimensionality amongst so many other things.
At the core of your being is a heart. At the core of all that is, is a heart. That heart in this micro and macro is not two hearts, but one; one that you are invited into its expansive feelings of embrace and the deepest feelings of belonging.
You are invited into the hearth of this heart.
You are invited to gather all the aspects of you who don’t yet know this heart to gather round its warmth.
Life changes based on how you feel about life. How you feel about life creates how you see life. How you see and feel life is affected so deeply by how parts of you see and feel life. ‘You’ are not going to sail to the Stars when parts of you feel like shit in a hell hole.
These parts need to be convinced of this heart of love at the center of the you-niverse. Until you bridge to them from your higher heart, they are left in their perception of reality which is like a powerful WiFi reality shaping broadcast in what you know as your life.
All that’s needed to ‘do’ this is a willingness to feel what hasn’t been okay up till now to feel. That may be a tall order, but it is thee most simple order that exists at the core of all things.
Find the parts who are not okay with feeling. You will find that they are starving to be felt even in their disposition to not feel.
Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc. Visit our donations page to offer a monthly or one time money donation to support our offerings.
By Jelelle Awen
The full moon….She offers illuminating grace to hold the shifts and transitions in the world and in your inner worlds too. She allows us a comfort in the darkness, a coming to ease in our own shadows. The light will be there even in the thickest of darkness…..She seems to say/offer to us.
This is the balance energies of the EQUInox….needing this feminine, this softness that can be fierce if called to be. This feminine that can SEE the necessary pain and labor pains as temporary…in order to birth what is coming forward of the New. This feminine can hold space for the transition, the passing and death, of what is NO LONGER vital.
The moon offers the BEcoming comfortable in your own shadowlands, learning how to navigate through them with love in your heart rather than fear. Shining your light of love on ALL the previously shrouded landscapes of your heart/soul/psyche.
Now is a phase of confronting with much compassion the prejudices that live inside toward the dark/shadow and the forms it has taken in your inner world and life. The resistances and aversions too are ready to be reconciled into the heart of increasing self love and self acceptance.
This moon is one of harvest….feeling the bounties that you are ready to collect and receive. Experiencing the final blooming of all those seeds you planted through the inner work, shadow work, and light work too.
You are ready now to let Her in…as She is you and what She has to show you offers a reflection that bridges something within that has been just waiting for your love once again.
photo of full moon taken last night here in Puerto Vallarta, Mexico
Here is a guided meditation to connect to your shadow selves w/me, Mother Mary, and Archangel Metatron: https://youtu.be/4VnfgzhzzjE
Jelelle Awen is a Parts Work/Metasoul & Galactic Aspects/Sacred Union Teacher & Facilitator, and Ascension Guide. She is Co-creator/Facilitator/Teacher of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life awakening/healing process and community. She has written four books about Ascension, awakening, and emotional body healing. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about bridging and ongoing individual/group sessions over zoom with her for women and other SoulFullHeart Facilitators with men and women, events/retreats, videos, books, etc. Visit our donations page to offer a monthly or one time money donation to support our offerings.
by Kalayna Colibri
Service of love is a crucible for growth… the growth of those you serve and your own growth too.
How many times I’ve learned this and been humbled by this…
We cannot downplay the importance of going inward and soberly evaluating ourselves, feeling if we SHOULD be serving others right now or if there’s something that needs us deep within first.
As my beloved friend, teacher and Facilitator Raphael said to me yesterday, “It feels right to take the space from facilitating. Without that, it would feel like trying to get at a foundation with a house sitting on top of it, which would be a whole lot more involved process.” Bingo.
Because of this, I’ve made the choice to step down as a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for this emerging phase of my healing and deep need of ME. My heart and soul feel a strong desire to serve love, yet the first step to that is becoming MORE love through being with myself and my parts. Without doing this, my space holding isn’t as deep as I desire it to be and not as helpful to the facilitant – the person making the vulnerable and courageous choice to lean into me for that 90min and maybe beyond – either. not to mention that the space held isn’t as safe as it needs to be for the healing to flow from my own love overflow into them to support their own.
I feel too how this process is not just about me as an individual. I feel how this is something that many space holders neglect to look at in themselves and as a result their parts can feel “burnt out” or resentful of their clients instead of in collaboration and heart-openness, which can lead to outright abuse or perhaps something more subtle. I feel how there is something for all of us to feel, whether you call yourself a “lightworker”, “space holder”, “wayshower”, “energy healer”, etc about how much you genuinely care about the person you’re offering healing to, how much respect and love you authentically feel for them, and if there are unowned judgments, triggers, pieces coming up inside of you that need you to show up to feel them in your own space, maybe even taking a break from offering healing to others for a phase, in the name of your own healing and self love growth. The biggest block to being able to vulnerably feel all of this inside of yourself feels to be the block of an overfocus on self-image, forgetting and maybe even hiding that you are also a humbly healing and ascending human being.
My beloveds in this community and healing path of SoulFullHeart have brought me many reflections over this past week that have given me plenty of pause and entry points into my heart too… to see why exactly I’ve been the way I’ve been when what I want is to be and serve love. This was a major sign of something big being out of alignment… we cannot put on the “healer hat” and be one way in sessions while we let parts of us run the show in other areas of our life and relationships with far less care, without one reality spilling over into the other sooner or later. And since the shadow is always wanting to be seen, felt and held, of course this is where the spillover is most likely to happen…
As my process unfolds, I’ll probably share more of the clarities I feel, because in this way I still feel called to serve love and see how what I’m discovering lands in the hearts and souls of others. I hope that even this writing which is more personal lands somewhere helpful inside of you. ❤
Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart co-founder, soul scribe, and poetess. Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.
by Kalayna Colibri
Awakenings are not meant to be a ride into a ‘Neverland’ experience where you are exempt from life in some form because you have crossed into newly expanded consciousness.
Awakenings are an invitation into an integration of soul and body, spirit and matter, that is often SO challenging because you cannot pass through a birth canal without some oomph.
You still have to put your pants on and walk out your door… find ways to move through your life’s challenges with grace (though not always with ‘ease’), take phenomenal risks that maybe nobody who came before you in your 3D-based bloodline has ever dreamed of, maybe trip here and there, yet still find ways to come back to that YOU inside of you that your parts have been waiting for to show up consistently.
Not one area of your life can be avoided when on this path as love doesn’t caretake the compartments parts of you have carefully made for the phases of life in which they needed to make them. Awakenings open the doorway for love to flood your life’s compartments and your parts need you to show up for the pain this can cause them. This is a real, visceral sense of the integration invitation from awakenings… and it’s all held in something much, much bigger that you’re now getting a taste of.
And then, when you’re truly ready from the inside-out (NOT outside-in through certifications or any official word from anyone or anything outside of you) you WILL be called upon to embody this service of love you’ve been offering to yourself and offer it to others. And this… this will be the deepest, grandest awakening of all… That you are living into your healing in order to support and connect with others in their own… because we are all inescapably LOVE — made of love, bathed in love, and given love in every single moment of every single breath on this sacred and beloved planet we call “Gaia” and every single one of us, along with every single PART of us, deserves to remember and embody THIS to the deepest degree that they possibly can in this and any other lifetime. ❤
Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 35, emoto-spiritual teacher, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess. Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.
by Jelelle Awen
This is the recording of a wonderful interview that we did last week on the Enlightened Loveheart & Soul Show with resonant host Crystalline Diamondloveheart. It is almost TWO HOURS of interesting conversation sharing our stories. We talk about coming together in sacred romance as well as how we moved from 3D money earning, to giving it all up to live on an off-grid ranch to reset our relationship to abundance and gratitude for is truly the most important…the inner journey to self-love and deepening union with each other. We also connect the gifts and wisdoms they gained from challenges in their lives to the parts work process that allowed them to navigate them.
This provides a great INTRO to us, our journeys, and our SoulFullHeart work. We also have a special offer discount package on a session, my books, etc. that you can read more about here: http://www.theenlightenedloveheartandsoulshow.com/jelelle-…/
Go here to register to receive and be involved live in all future Enlightened LoveHeart & Soul shows: http://www.theenlightenedloveheartandsoulshow.com/
Jelelle Awen is Co-creator/Facilitator/Teacher of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. She is a Soul Scribe and author of three books about Ascension, awakening, and emotional body healing. Jelelle offers a 90 minute one on one bridging session with her over zoom for $55 USD min. donation…more information here. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about our NEW SoulFullHeart process programs, group calls, videos, etc. Visit our donations page to offer a monthly or one time money donation to support our offerings.