Category: By Raphael Awen

‘As Sure As Our Lord Was At Priddy’ – Exploring Metasoul Connections In Avalon and Beyond

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by Raphael Awen

James Elphick and I took a trip to Priddy, Somerset, yesterday here in the UK, in Somerset county.
There is a saying in Priddy that the locals know, “As sure as our Lord was in Priddy.”

Raphael & James

After being here in Glastonbury these last months, I was quite interested to learn of the many ‘legends’ of Jesus visiting here often during his life and especially as a boy. I was interested in him being taken here on trips with his uncle Joseph of Arimathea, who was not only a wealthy trader in tin and other metals that were mined in Priddy and surrounding areas, but Joseph was also probably the equivalent of the Jewish government’s ‘Minister of Mining’.

Now, you won’t find much in the traditional Bible to directly support these claims, but you can cite plenty of Bible references to corroborate the claims, if you will. If you expand your lens out to the ancient scrolls discovered in 1945 at Nag Hammadi, you get a lot more of an interesting picture.

Central to this expanded picture is that Jesus, or Yeshua as he was known in his own language, was in love and married to Mary Magdalene and had children with her. That didn’t fit with the Christian canon of scripture that was compiled in the 4th century and it had to be screened out to fit a tailored narrative. A narrative that only controlling men seemed to need and undertake, but also consciousness itself seemed to need to go through this veiled phase of awareness. We are, like consciousness itself, in a phase now where we are lifting that veil.

I was especially opened up to this larger story through reading Anna, the Grandmother of Jesus by Claire Heartsong. I deeply recommend her book if you are wanting to open up to this expanded story of Yeshua’s life, his mother, his grandmother, his mother’s uncle Joseph of Arimathea, and what’s known as the ‘Magdalene way of the rose’ that Yeshua was immersed in and devoted to.

But, back to my day yesterday. After reading Anna, Grandmother Of Jesus and coming across the many places here in Glastonbury that are significant to Joseph, Yeshua and the Magdalenes at large, I wanted to venture to visit Priddy, just a few miles from here in Glastonbury. Now that we recently purchased a car, the opportunity arose. I needed a bit more driving coaching from James getting used to driving on the left side of the road and the right side of the car, like they do here in the UK.

When we arrived in Priddy and parked the car, we noticed a different feeling space immediately of rest and tranquility. We took a stroll on the main road through town and saw a sign pointing to the village church and school. We came upon a playground filled with children at break time and we were struck by how playful and alive they felt. It didn’t feel anything like a city playground. There was just grass, a few trees and a soccer ball, but these children in their school uniforms felt like they were from another dimension somehow. Both James and I commented on it to each other. Right then, as I was taking a picture, a young boy ran after the ball and mid stride, he rolled into a full somersault as he chased after the ball.

St Lawrence Church, Priddy

That may have been the highlight and lesson of the day. If you’re going to chase after something, be sure you are having fun while you are doing it.

We entered the church of St. Lawrence, built in 1352, and took in a sweet feminine energy in the pictures of children and especially an artist’s portrayal of Jesus as a boy that was really striking and touching.

Painting of Yeshua as a boy

This morning I felt deeper into my soul’s connection with Joseph Of Arimathea and experienced that it was quite easy to connect with him. As we ‘conversed’, I was able to see how in his high place and office and wealth, many people projected onto him a kind of having it all together that really wasn’t the case. Those people who make an etheric connection with him may want to gain access to his secrets of wealth and he said this was also exhausting to be seen through this lens of having it all.

He told me he actually longed many times to be a commoner like the many who came to him wishing to be relieved from their everyday lives. He told me about the hardships of being in the money and wealth grids. How that necessitated a kind of hard energy and control in the marketplace that just was the reality in that time and place. His redemption was being able to channel his wealth into supporting his larger family and he said that without this, he would have gone completely over the deep end.

Joseph also told me of his joys of having Yeshua as a boy as his travel companion, one like no other. He told me that the boy I watched on the playground yesterday take a somersault on his way chasing after the ball was totally what Yeshua was like. He made everything and everyone around him come alive in such a way that no one could figure out where he got all of his free and alive energies from.

I’m feeling a desire to continue to open out and explore this connection further with Joseph and Yeshua. There feels like a lot to go into there, especially within our Magdalene community here in Avalon/Glastonbury.

Sacred Sexuality Group Meditation Call

Do join us for tomorrow’s group call:
I do hope you can join us this Sunday, March 14th at 5:00pm GMT/UK time/noon EST for our sacred sexuality group call with teachings and sharings from me and Jelelle (transparent and open ones too!), a guided meditation with Yeshua and Mary Magdalene and group participant sharing as well. You can join us by donation at soulfullheart.org/shop or paypal.me/jelelleawen.

We will be real about wherever we are in the moment around the process of sacred sexuality…not in some exalted, idealized, and bypassed state, yet in the raw and messy (and often blissy!) ground that exploring our sacred sexuality within and with others offers us!

Much love,
Raphael

~

Raphael Awen is a Sacred Union & Sacred Masculine Bridge, co-creator, teacher, and Facilitator of SoulFullHeart. Visit soulfullheart.org for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc. 

Are You Up For Some Sex Talk?

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By  Raphael Awen

Jelelle and I have our next group call coming up on Sunday the 14th entitled Sacred Sexuality, and I want to invite you.

Okay, that was a bit of a ploy. Pardon the grabby come on, but the purpose of this writing is to draw people who might be interested in the call, so I thought it best to be in full disclosure right from the get go.

Can I ask you, how has life been for you as a sexual being? How do you at present relate to your sexuality?

Whether your experiences have been deeply negative or out of this world positive, both are a lot to bear in this mystery of our sexuality.

That you and I came into this life with this awakening need and desire of sexuality along with its potential for both the deepest fulfillments and the deepest disappointments really points to the vulnerability of our souls choosing to be in human incarnation. 

For me, my teenage awakening into my sexuality was marked with fears and hiding that I effectively suppressed by taming it alongside a Christian dedication to God and Christian service. I embraced the no sex before marriage advice, partly out of my fear of my own sexuality and partly of wanting God’s blessing and sense of safety on something I felt to be so potentially unknown, destructive and harmful. I managed to enter my first marriage as a virgin and experienced a bandwidth of sexuality that felt right for where I was at and what I could handle. From a soul perspective, I can see where this muting of my sexuality was motivated from other timelines of sexual regrets and remorse. 

When I left Christianity, and that marriage of 23 years, I was surprised to find a very ripe and ready unexplored teenage sexual energy that was alive and well coming back into my life with me now in my mid 40’s. I knew I needed and wanted to explore and mature this sexual energy and life and the Divine opened out a couple of rich and rewarding relationships that surprised me by discovering whole new layers of the lover in me. 

This laid a whole new groundwork sexually and emotionally to be in relationship with Jelelle. I was given and continue to be given experiences that feel like such deep treasures and even trophies to me and parts of me. I’d like to support you to create your own heaven of sexuality. 

The journey of vulnerability, desire and beautiful experiences continued for me over the past 13 years together with Jelelle. Now, however, I especially feel another whole layer of sexual energy expanding out into an invitation into a much wider place that is beyond both the teenagers and the adult relationship with sexuality. 

I especially feel how the masculine’s relationship with adequacy and sexual prowess on one hand and then the strange behaviour of needing to get to orgasm, and to effectively close the sexual space are both energies that are rooted in our fears of our sexuality. We can shy away from our sexuality, or put it out there and bury it under a performance, but in both of these polarities we see and feel our uninitiated relationship with our own sexuality. 

I’m convinced now that I’m only scratching the surface of a much deeper terrain that wants to continue to reform and inform my life with this sexual energy in a way that relates to all areas of my life. Compartmentalized and contained sexuality is a safety measure that we maybe all needed while we did or do, but the invitation is for this sexual energy of mateship with all of life and love itself to overflow into this deep sexual union where there is no difference between the love of God, the love of other and the love of self. 

Every person you meet along with yourself was portaled into this world by sexual energy and they each contain vital sexual energy as a common denominator of aliveness, with shared fears, desires and for some of us trophy experiences – but all of it is wanting to take us yet much deeper into something so much more. Can I turn in my trophies and admit I want to keep going into more?

I’m horny for that more, more than just talk, but ongoing flow into the infinite more that we each are. I hope you are too. Any and all sexual traumas, desires, fears, yearnings, trophies, sorrows, are all a portal into this deep going on place in your soul’s journey this life. 

I hope you will consider joining us for the upcoming group call this Sunday at 5pm London time, that will be tailored to individuals and couples. We ask for a donation of any amount to join. Details below.  This call is also free to all members of our SoulFullHeart Portal private network which you can join for $14.99 USD per month, which also helps support our work.

Here is the link to the Facebook event if you’d like further info or to invite a friend: https://www.facebook.com/events/109338231107311

Here is the event on our website where you can reserve your spot by making a donation: https://www.soulfullheart.org/grouptransmissions

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.  Visit soulfullheart.org for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc. 

We are now offering our SoulFullHeart Portal on Mighty Networks, a private virtual gathering place for sharing exclusive content from us such as energy update writings and guided meditation videos, plus community forum threads with topics and groups that you can read, join, and contribute to as you want. You can join us at the SoulFullHeart Portal for a membership fee of $14.99 USD a month: soulfullheartportal.mn.co/

A Common Challenge For Awakening Men

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By  Raphael Awen

I had the pleasure of holding space for a man yesterday in session space over zoom and we encountered something together that feels really common for awakening men.

As he described some precious and powerful awakenings with Yeshua and many new places of openings recently, I couldn’t help but feel an anxious undertone in his sharing, so I just asked if he could feel a part of him that is vigilant about keeping up with awakening, and that opened out a whole portal to go into together where we felt and saw that the efforting and vigilance about awakening was being used to avoid an inner well of ‘persistent hollowness’. We were able to see and feel the part of him who lives in this hollowness and begin to see him as the one who holds vast access to creativity, as well as the men’s version of the womb, what’s known as the Hara.

This all felt so familiar to my own process of being out of touch with my own grief over the years, and with that of course, my own depression. I didn’t have any depression as near as I could tell, for decades actually, but truth was, part of me had just done an outstanding job of keeping it buried. I was quite a stellar human then, liked by many, but the treadmill of the efforting was starting to wear the benefits thin and the costs were tabulating.

I don’t think anything would have changed for me were it not for a crisis, and in some ways, an ongoing series of manageable mini crisis’ if you will.

Together in session with this man yesterday, we began to feel the call to really begin to bridge to this part of him, curiously and with open heart, get to know his reality. Negotiate with him to return out to play, not as another item on the to do list or the to be list of awakening, but just as a natural longing and appetite to get to know.

Then we felt THAT to be the ending of the efforting, as the efforting was actually being used to keep this part’s world and reality suppressed inside, when life is actually ripening this part’s reality to the surface.

I so don’t feel I could have bridged these realities inside of myself and my own healing/awakening process without ‘parts work’ as it is known. Without parts work, we just leave the part of us to pull themselves up by their own bootstraps, without them feeling a you there to be with them, to bridge and support them in the changes they wish to make, kind of like the physically present, but all too often emotionally absent parents we experienced in growing up.

When the bridging occurs between you and a part of you, the perception of what both the problem and the solutions are also shift and change and whole new worlds emerge that were not seen before.

This is the magical portal that our wounding is, offering us sacred entry into dimensions not seen or known yet. Spiritual fixes for depression or anxiety aren’t much better than the pharmaceutical fixes are as both are about the fear and avoidance of this portal.

Being ready to enter this portal is quite organic, and you simply know when you are there. The call and question about sufficient courage is outweighed by the growing inability to hold up the old way any longer.

Whatever needs to be surrendered in order to enter the portal is kind of like shrinking your life into a 2 suitcase limit on a one way overseas airplane flight. You only have 23 kilos per bag, so the question becomes about what’s coming or not. Really, you can only take yourself, and a few most necessary items. The life you’ve created and accumulated needs to be largely or completely let go of. Socially, this is probably the hardest as our underlying and unconscious social agreements are about each of us promising to remain proximal in both geography and within a certain consciousness bandwidth with one another. You could say that we co-sign one another’s agreements to stay in resonant around remaining small, that is until we default on the agreement.

Some around us understandably get pissed, and rightfully so. We were the best exemplars to the agreement, maybe even better than the others in the picture were. And now, you’re the one pulling the pin. You also have some apologies to make, but the crazy thing is, no one wants the apologies, they want you to return, but crazier still is that you’ve already morphed beyond the place where that could even be possible. There’s nothing left but to honour that with grief and sorrow and goodbyes.

‘You’re the one who changed’ my best friend once told me while out on a hiking trail trying to bridge a conversation about the growing differences between us. He was right. Our unspoken agreement had been about remaining true to a code of values, purpose and meaning. My emerging  values, purpose and meaning we’re leaving the parameters of our agreement. My old me simply couldn’t fit in the suitcase any longer and my departure date was fast approaching.

It wasn’t but a couple years later that I sat across from this friend at breakfast, with tears, and said goodbye to him, to our friendship, as where I was going was only going to leave both of us strained in a very unreal friendship, something neither of us were really capable of.

Life, real life, always brings up new enterings and leavings in this way. All of life could be summed up as a series of beginnings and endings in this way, and the most adapted to this reality, in their ability to feel grief and sorrow are truly the happiest campers. Joy comes in the morning and through the mourning.

What is it in life that is shifting and rumbling for you? What are you being asked to grieve and let go? How could you do that in a way that doesn’t leave you more wounded, withdrawn and reserved?

Could I help you make that transition? Could I help you embrace your bigger you? Could I help you find your soul family and passion purpose calling expression?

I moved into a new and brave world as a beginner, and have made some discoveries that may one day bear my name, but for now they are just here being offered to you, as these discoveries need more bold souls to test drive the living, loving and learning. Then it can be our discovery, and not just mine.

I would so welcome hearing from you, more about me and sessions at soulfullheart.org/sessions and you can email me at soulfullhearts@gmail.com. Sessions are for 90 minutes and cost $100 usd. You may also be drawn to one of the three other current SoulFullHeart facilitators, my wife, Jelelle Awen, Aurius Amara, Kasha Rokshana, whose info is also at the link above and who can be reached at the same email address above.

The pic above is from a recent group day with six of us here in Glastonbury/Avalon. We look shiny and lovely because we are most of the time, but also not without some serious mess in the playful bliss, both as couples and as a community.

Love,

Raphael 💚🌹🏄🏻‍♂️🙏🏻

Our next group call:

taking place on March 14th @ 5pm GMT (London, UK) with Raphael and Jelelle, which will focus on Sacred Sexuality. More info on that call can be found here: soulfullheart.org/grouptransmissions

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.  Visit soulfullheart.org for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc. 

We are now offering our SoulFullHeart Portal on Mighty Networks, a private virtual gathering place for sharing exclusive content from us such as energy update writings and guided meditation videos, plus community forum threads with topics and groups that you can read, join, and contribute to as you want. You can join us at the SoulFullHeart Portal for a membership fee of $14.99 USD a month: soulfullheartportal.mn.co/

The Joys Of Not Knowing

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By  Raphael Awen

Have you ever noticed that those who claim to not know how to pray offer the best prayers?

So often, it’s our experience and familiarity with something that hampers our arising and new direct interaction with that something.

How could we return to a state of not knowing in order to have a first time experience?

Even asking this question is using experience and knowing as an attempt to return to the innocence not knowing. Isn’t it maddening when the mind gets in the way, even when it’s wanting and willing to get out of the way, but just doesn’t know how?

Wait! I think we solved it, no?

You want to get out of your own way, but don’t know how. Now, you enter the womb of surrender.

You have a desire for something that you have no power or knowledge whatsoever on how you are going to achieve that something. All you have is what you don’t have.

I feel this place where my assets of past experience don’t seem to add up to anything of salvageable value towards entering a new unknown, except for the one asset of not knowing. If I don’t know, then I get to admit that, lead with that, toddle out my first steps into the new thing, laugh goodheartedly at myself along with the others I’m entertaining in the process.

I believe you also, not too far down inside, can feel the place where you don’t know what you are doing.

What if this could be admitted, owned, and cherished instead of a thing of shame and resistance and hiding? Your not knowing is the real gold you came here to share and explore.

You enter the God-zone where even God gets to not know through you.And it makes you really interesting, fun and sexy, if you ask me. Know it alls are boring and dry.

💚
🌹
🏄🏻‍♂️
🙏🏻
❤️

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.  Visit soulfullheart.org for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc. 

We are now offering our SoulFullHeart Portal on Mighty Networks, a private virtual gathering place for sharing exclusive content from us such as energy update writings and guided meditation videos, plus community forum threads with topics and groups that you can read, join, and contribute to as you want. You can join us at the SoulFullHeart Portal for a membership fee of $14.99 USD a month: soulfullheartportal.mn.co/

Bridge To The Beloved: Guided Meditation From The Bridal Chamber | Raphael & Jelelle Awen (Video)

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Divine Union guides, Counterpart/Twin Flame Mates and SoulFullHeart Teachers Raphael and Jelelle Awen invite you on an initiatory journey into your sacred humanity through a video series called Meditations From The Bridal Chamber. We are recently in a renewed marriage and reunion place after a brief separation and death/rebirth together. We are feeling to share from the high frequency energies of our ‘bridal chamber’, where we are experiencing deeper frequencies of reunion with each other, within, and with the Divine.

Divine Sacred Union guides Yeshua and Mary Magdalene join us in this video series, offering initiations and activations as we channel their energies through our sacred masculine and sacred feminine hearts. Yeshua and Magdalene provide a template from the fifth dimension of a twin counterpart pair bond for your inner masculine and inner feminine to receive as a source of support, activation, and guidance. They have been beloved guides to us personally, in our union, and in service for many years.

In this first video of the series, we share a brief introduction of the Bridal Chamber energies and about the fears/resistances/testing that parts of us can do as we move out of separation and into more union within, with a mate, and with the Divine. As we have done during many group calls over the years, we then move into a collaborative meditative space to guide you in bridging to your ‘Bridal Chamber’ within while offering transmissions from Yeshua and Mary. The bridal chamber is offered to both women and men as a higher dimensional space to experience the embodied frequency of their Divine Self as beloved to the Divine.

Whether you are currently in a relationship or mateship; exploring your inner sacred union in singleness; or want to deepen your connection with the Divine AS beloved; this series will activate for you what it is meant to in order to help you move out of fear, resistance, and lack realities and into abundance, love, joy, and bliss!

We would love to receive your donations and energy exchange in the form of money for this series as it supports us to keep offering them and creates an intentional energy for you in which to receive them. You can offer a donation through a general donation via our shop at https://www.soulfullheart.org/shop​ or via paypal at https://www.paypal.me/jelelleawen​.

For the latest writings, videos, and information about SoulFullHeart community events and group calls, visit http://www.soulfullheart.org​.

Information about 1:1 sessions over Zoom or in-person in Glastonbury, UK with SoulFullHeart Facilitators Jelelle Awen or Kasha Rokshana for women and with Raphael Awen or Aurius Amara for men and women at https://www.soulfullheart.org/sessions​

Become a monthly donor member of our SoulFullHeart Portal on Mighty Networks and gain access to exclusive content, share your experiences of the meditation with us, read longer writings w/personal digestions, experience a community connection with beautiful resonant souls, and MORE at https://soulfullheartportal.mn.co​

Bridge To The Beloved: Sacred Union Transmission Group Call On Valentine’s Day February 14th | Raphael & Jelelle Awen

Published on by Jelelle AwenLeave a comment

By Jelelle Awen

The Beloved is the energy of the Divine in a specific frequency as lover and mate that brings you into personal states of gratitude, rapture, and forgiveness as you receive this grace. The Beloved activates your longing for reunion with your counterpart soulmate, which also happens within you between your inner masculine and feminine if you are currently single. And it is all yours freely by birthright, something you never actually lost, only reawaken to as your soul is ready!

Raphael and I are excited to share from the overflow of a deeper embodiment experience of the Beloved within, with each other and with the Divine during this group call over Zoom on Valentine’s Day Sunday, February 14th at 5:00pm/17:00pm GMT (London, UK timezone….9:00am PST/10:00am MST/11:00am CST/12:00pm EST)!

During the call, we will share about our recent personal experience of death and rebirth within our long-term union that brought us to a place of renewed awareness of the Beloved as the third energy in a coupleship into which we can lean, from which we can draw all the support we need, and unto which the relationship is in service to. We will share about healing the False God projections that block experience of the Divine in this very personal and embodied Beloved frequency, along with feeling and healing the trauma from this life and karma from other lifetimes related to your capacity to let in and embody this frequency.

During this call, we will co-lead a meditation with Yeshua and Mary Magdalene/Magda to bridge to and energize the Beloved through devotional frequencies that come from the heart and soul of our renewed bond and twin pair soul connection (we’ll share more about that too.) and our soul family.Whether you are connecting primarily to your inner sacred union, have a partnership or ache for one, and/or just want to deepen your experience of the Divine AS your beloved, this transmission offers a needed bridge in the moment to support that exploration and invites you into visceral experience of the Beloved!
More info at https://www.facebook.com/events/1061373757681405 or https://www.soulfullheart.org/grouptransmissions

This group is open to the public and to all women and men over 18. You can attend the group and/or receive the recording for an energy exchange of whatever donation you feel to give. The average amount is $15 CAD. You can purchase the Zoom link to join us live for the group and receive the recording through your email at soulfullheart.org/shop

Or you can purchase it here through paypal: paypal.me/jelelleawenand we will send you the zoom link via email. Please make a note that you are purchasing the February 14th group call and check that your email is current.

This group call is also available free to those who are members of our SoulFullHeart Portal, an online community for personal sharings, community connection, and receiving guidance/asking questions with us….I feel it may be the warmest place on the Internet!

You can join the Portal for $14.99 USD exchange per month: https://soulfullheartportal.mn.co

Love,
Raphael and Jelelle Awen

My Romance Completion With Jelelle Awen

Published on by Raphael Awen2 Comments

By Raphael Awen

I’d like to share a deep personal update regarding myself and my relationship with Jelelle.

A few weeks ago, Jelelle and I agreed to give some space, and to sleep apart for a night or two, and that quickly arose to more clarity and relief and draw towards giving ourselves back to ourselves. A peaceful, palpable and supported guidance arose each day, amidst the shock and grief of that at the same time, to let go of our romantic and sexual bond of 12 plus years, and to see what wants to come next beyond that. 

Something undeniable was completing, had become more recognizable in recent months, and had now gone full circle and all we could do was be with it each day for the past several weeks. We checked in with one another most days since sharing deeper digestions, discoveries, apologies, many tears and love. Our immediate Soulfullheart community around us was our first line of support and we then in turn shared this on our members only Soulfullheart Portal. The support and love was overwhelming, making this unimaginable feared thing, somehow doable, albeit a rollercoaster at the same time. 

Jelelle and I agreed that we would like to share this publicly now in concert with one another as it feels weird at some point to not be transparent, after a needed more private space was taken. I feel accountable to love itself, to be transparent about my story, my gains, my losses, and then to let love return me to me, and me back to love. 

This is definitely a strange time, and timed with Gaia’s own solstice movements into death and rebirth. I feel weak in my body and mind to be sharing this all now, but I trust it at the same time. A cold arose in my body and has been moving through, something I can’t remember having a full on cold like this in so many years, understandable now as the body, heart and soul goes into a deep reset. 

I shared on our recent group call that Jelelle and I led that I felt maybe the one greatest treasure of discoveries this life is a discovery that has since led to all the discoveries and treasures that followed, including the treasure of these years with Jelelle, and that single most outstanding discovery is the ability to grieve. Without the ability to grieve, we limit ourselves from life’s death and rebirth cycles. Being incarnate into human form is to sign up for gain and loss, for joy and sorrow, and to the degree I can let in and feel the loss, is the degree the deeper joy that wants to come is then allowed to come. 

At 19, when a girlfriend broke up with me, it took me a full additional 19 years for life to feel safe enough for me to come to a place to let in the grief of that loss. The loss, though 19 years prior, was now through an awakening process like it was the week before as I suspended life as I knew it sufficiently to allow the waves of grief and tears to roll through. Looking back at that delayed grief experience now, some 20 years later, I can feel how epic of a turning point that was for me and how subsequent life changes that arose could be referenced back to that time. It was the kindergarten of my relationship to grief. I felt so human to feel my grace to lose deeply and in that to prepare for the magic of what was lost to return in whatever ways it wanted to. Being able to draw the relationship with Jelelle and then have the ability to show up for the many rigors that relationship would call me too was definitely rooted in that earlier grief process. 

Fast forward to today and I can so see how the arising treasure now in all this journey is the deepening into the love that wants to exist, me to me, my feminine to my masculine and vice versa, a love that can never be lost, or ‘taken away’. 

That all may sound a bit like a contextual big picture kind of perspective, and it is to be sure, but it doesn’t take away from the waves of feelings of allowing myself to completely melt down, repeatedly these past weeks into inconsolable tears at times of letting go. A deep and profound consolation does arise when I can just allow each part of me to have their unedited and necessary reactions. 

Jelelle and I have always acknowledged that our romantic bond would sustain while it was mutually growthful for us to deepen in this inward journey, and oh, how it has done that! This arising into deeper vulnerability where the only guarantee is an inward one, raises the stakes too, I’ve found, inviting more risk, more investment, more trust, and mostly more growth into The All that I Am. 

Maybe some of you who have followed us feel surprised or even shocked on some level to feel us not sustaining as a couple. I can only tell you that that is a human tendency, and a familiar one of my own, to project some kind of perfection onto an other, to pedestalize, a projection of your own perfection that you are just not ready to quite hold just yet and so you need a place to put it for safekeeping. If I was a part of that projection for you, I am honoured to have served you in that, and I’m sorry for your loss, while at the same time feeling the needs for each of our pedestals to topple when the time is ripe. The beloveds closest to us know all too well the grist in our edges that showed up in our relationship, and how sacred and necessary those edges were. I particularly am discovering a torch of illumination onto my configurations and relationship patterns these past days again, feeling what was parked in shadow and what was energized in light, and how all of that wants and needs to be loved now in the relief of a sacred completion inside of me – a homecoming, a returning home to myself after an amazing mission into beauty and bounty, a time to debrief, to let go and let in. 

To each of you who have loved and lost, and were subsequently willing to feel that loss, I feel like your kin, your kind, to have shared in that experience. To enter love is to enter love’s illusion and disillusion. Romance is particularly idyllic and fairy tale, where we are invited to make that fairy tale as true a fairy tale as can be, to ingest all of its experiences, and then to allow all of that to return to love itself. It’s got to be the biggest bravery and deepest vulnerability there is, to do this from the heart. 

Inevitably, there is the temptation to assign blame in the aftermath, as a resistance, a distraction to feeling the depth of the loss. Thank God, Jelelle and I both seemed to have truly made it past that mile post some time back together. There’s like this banquet of love to be felt on the other side of the blame game. If no one is to blame, then I can see where I limited love and admit it and ask forgiveness, not to be absolved of guilt, but to let love have its new and ongoing way with me, and hopefully between Jelelle and I into new grounds of love together. 

Beginning this month, as the place we’d been staying with the 5 of us as a community, was no longer available, and as our New Year travel plans for Malta were cancelled due to Covid, we all decided it was best and desirable to hunker down here in Glastonbury. Gabriel and I found a place to live in town to allow for the needed space to ground into this new reality, while remaining in connection as a fivesome here. 

Thank you to each of you reading this, feeling me, yourself, as I pause to feel what else I’d like to say in this post. Making this public feels like another layer of digestion, of accepting this new reality. Sharing this is an opportunity to receive love from love itself in the form of your responses and I open myself to that love. 

I’m so freaking grateful to have found my tears of reunion and to be a part of others finding their tears of reunion with themselves and with love. I’m grateful to serve others in their discoveries with love. I’m called to be this trans-parent, because god (our parent) knows, all that’s really needed is transparency – it heals everything and allows love to flow. 

Jelelle, I want to say publicly how profoundly grateful I am to you to have been your partner in romance, in sensuality, in sexuality, in vulnerability, in angst, in tears, in longings, in service to others, in evolution, in bounty and beauty, and in loss too. If I can lose this much, what does that have to say about how much more there is to gain, in new forms of love, with myself, with you, with life and with others? You are truly beautiful beyond compare. I hope I can stay in the room to endure the new forms of that love that want to radiate between us and through us, to allow the gift of these past 12 years to continue to unfold, into more joint service, into deeper community and service with others.  I love you.

Raphael

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.  Visit soulfullheart.org for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc. 

We are now offering our SoulFullHeart Portal on Mighty Networks, a private virtual gathering place for sharing exclusive content from us such as energy update writings and guided meditation videos, plus community forum threads with topics and groups that you can read, join, and contribute to as you want. You can join us at the SoulFullHeart Portal for a membership fee of $14.99 USD a month: soulfullheartportal.mn.co/

King Arthur’s Call To Men

Published on by Raphael AwenLeave a comment

By Raphael Awen

I believe this is a moment like no other, a moment of opportunity, a moment to choose deep and profound change, a moment to embrace all of you, from your highest leading ‘I Am’ Self all the way down to your ‘lowest’ edge where parts of you live in doubt and insecurity. 

Nothing is actually lower or higher. You will never become any more sacred than you already are! If that is true, then you and I finally have the freedom, to look deeply into the mirrors of our lives, our circumstances, our relationships and take the deepest inventory of what’s also true there, as none of it can take away or add to the fact that ‘I already AM, all that I ever might become’. 

I am very deeply interested in all that I might become. I am also very deeply interested in all that I already am. While this has always felt true for me on some level on my journey, I can tell you that it has felt like my biggest challenge as well. It has waxed and waned. At times, even very recently, I’ve seen my bigness stare me in the face and it has scared parts of me to the core. Numerous hideouts and comfortable ceilings have again been discovered and negotiated with, and let go of, only to be faced with another layer of vulnerability, insecurity and desire. I suspect that this is the whole deal of being here. It gets to move for me from more private to more service-based as I transparently live this out loud. 

I’m no longer of the illusion that these kinds of challenges where I must face a new place in me feeling contracted or small will somehow become ‘healed’ or a thing of the past. If I AM is truly infinite greatness, then any and all achievements or attainments, no matter how great, how relieving, how homecoming, how much of an entrance into my personal promised land – they still remain a humble kindergarten. I’m starting to get used to that! – another celebrated ‘attainment’ in and of itself, where any and all movements either forward or backward are part of the magical and infinite I AM that I AM. 

The other big thing all of this offers me is that the only one I can ever be a saviour for, is me and me alone. I can’t offer you anything you don’t already possess. With this clarity, I can however, hold space to offer you, YOU. 

When Moses, standing in his small self perceived stature before a burning bush manifestation of God, hearing the voice of God calling him and sending him, asked God a very understandable question: “Who do I say sent me?” and God answers, “Tell them thee I AM that I Am has sent you.”

I’m here today standing before mankind, my kind, saying “The I Am that I Am, has sent me to you.” I’m here, in your hearing, speaking to your I AM that I AM, before the burning bush of your desires, your heart aches, your heart passions, inviting you into something tangible, alive and real, inside and outside. 

I’ve crossed a threshold into my own promised land and feel it is more important than ever to invite other men who are ready to enter theirs with me. I can’t do what I’m called to do, or be what I’m called to BE, in a box or on my own. I get to walk out my more in the resonance field that’s generated with other men doing the same.

I’ve done that primarily with Gabriel Heartman for many years in a time where most efforts to expand numbers were met with more inner expansion than any kind of outward expansion. Time and process was needed mostly in private. I feel and see that changing now. Something is shifting in men and in the core of my I Am, informing all of me with a new resolve, as well as a sacred and ongoing completion of my own very real push-pull relationship with my own bigness. I want that more than I want life. This is life to me.

What is life to you? What do you most deeply want? Are you prepared to reach out for a lifeline when one is thrown to you, or will you continue praying for a lifeline instead? There’s a time to ask and a time to act.

I may be sounding fearfully close to a promo salesperson now, and to be sure, I AM trying to sell you on something. I AM called to sell you on something. I AM called to sell you on you. It’s strange though, because no words that I might write or speak could ever actually achieve this. It’s only and ever achievable by living it out inside of myself, and you picking up on that and choosing the same for yourself. 

Our mutual benefit is then easy and natural, whether we go any further in any kind of together way. 

If however, the particular signature frequency of my deal feels like it may be or wants to be a part of your signature deal, then I deeply invite you to check out who I AM and what I offer. 

This video is me here in the Abbey ruins in Glastonbury, offering a connection with one of my beautiful Metasoul brothers; King Arthur. How fitting as he knows how to assemble and lead a round table of men! 

Gabriel Heartman and myself both serve men in one on one sessions helping men embrace all of themselves in ongoing process via a specific path. Here’s a link to more about sessions: https://www.soulfullheart.org/sessions. 

Sessions may well be a bit too close, too soon, for where you are, if you’ve just discovered us. If so, I invite you to consider following us at whatever distance feels comfortable for you, while serving your heartache and opportunity. 

A great way to do that is to join our SoulFullHeart Portal for $15 usd per month, a private on-line community where you get to share with like minded men and women, as well as a men’s only portion of the Portal, and receive exclusive content, writings, videos and transmissions. Here’s an invite to our Portal.

If you’ve read this through this far, then I know you are feeling the truth of the first words I spoke today – that this is a moment of opportunity like no other. Other moments will be sure to come, if that’s what your I AM needs to orchestrate for you, but what if this moment right now is your moment, or at least one of them? What if what I’m offering you is offered to you for you to make a deeper personal connection, to see where it takes you, to see if what you are feeling right now, continues to self validate as a truly profound going on place? If so, I’d love to hear from you. Gabriel would love to hear from you. 

I can tell you from the depths of my heart and experience that I Am wanting, willing and ready to serve you, to show up for you as you show up for you. 

If you are a woman who’s read this all the way through, bless you! And allow yourself to take in all these words directed at men, and feel them for your own inner masculine parts of you. Also, let your sacred yearning and desire for men and the missing masculine to rise up and claim the inhabitation of their long awaited I AM selves, be a gift of alchemy transmitted to all the men feeling this, whether by my words today, or by the same download that’s being broadcast into the collective from many different sources right NOW. 

If you know of other men who you feel are ready for such a time as this, please share this post with them. 

May we each arise to this occasion to find ultimately that there was ever only one of us and one occasion all the while, one truly worth showing up for. 

Much Love,

Raphael Awen

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.  Visit soulfullheart.org for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc. 

We are now offering our SoulFullHeart Portal on Mighty Networks, a private virtual gathering place for sharing exclusive content from us such as energy update writings and guided meditation videos, plus community forum threads with topics and groups that you can read, join, and contribute to as you want. You can join us at the SoulFullHeart Portal for a membership fee of $14.99 USD a month: soulfullheartportal.mn.co/

Keeping Your Heart-on

Published on by Raphael AwenLeave a comment

By Raphael Awen

A question came up in a lively and vulnerable men’s discussion we were having about what the differences are about energizing love from the heart chakra as compared to the second chakra, and how one can dominate over the other. I offer my response and invite the wider input from our feminine counterparts here.

This is such a great question and part of an ongoing quest, and like all great quests, the question is never fully answered, inviting us deeper into its many aspects and layers. Any ‘answer’ I give to the question is really only one response, thus intended to hopefully open out more questions than provide any final answers. 🙂

What comes up for me is feeling how difficult it has been for men to come from both chakras at the same time. There’s a lot in that saying about how difficult it is for a man to maintain a ‘hardon’ and a ‘hearton’ at the same time. Men tend to come from one place at the expense of the other, and if they can come from both, they toggle between the two, going limp in one in order to enter the other. Being open and coming from both at the same time represents both a vulnerability and a power that much fewer men are comfortable with. 

What underlies this challenge is the differences between our heart chakra and our second chakra. One is the seat of our unity, our union with all things and with all life, with having it all; our heart, where nothing lacks or is missing. The other, our second chakra is the seat of our gender, which feels incomplete without the other half, and thus vulnerable to not finding the completion it wants and needs. Men’s first healthy initiations, if they were met with a healthy anchoring in the root/grounding chakra are then about awakening to their sexuality, power and creativity in the second chakra, discovering what makes them unique and desirable, their gender based expression and worth. 

More to the point of the question above is what are the differences of the love that flows from the heart chakra vs the love that flows from the second chakra, (if i’m grasping the intent of the question). I’d say that love that flows from the heart is rooted in an energy and recognition of the unconditional love that underlies and weaves through all of life and the universe. Heart love validates everything, even differences and even expressions of hatred speak to the inescapable interconnectedness of everything, bound together by love and oneness. The heart can containerize it all. 

Love that flows from the second chakra however is not ‘unconditional’ in the same way. It is conditioned on personal attraction. I’m either drawn or I’m not. ‘Lust’ in this way can come from the second chakra, as in a strong, overwhelming desire for someone or something, and it is based upon something deeply desired for whatever reasons, healthy or not. It’s very specific and dualistic. ‘I like this, I don’t like that’. 

With my mate, I want to be loved in both of these ways at the same time. One doesn’t cancel out the other. I want to know and feel that I’m valued as a human being, and as a soul regardless of who and what I am or are not. I want to feel my intrinsic worth outside of my performance or lack thereof. If that’s there, I can safely feel comfortable to feel and process more of my not-so-loved traits within the relationship to realize more of the growth that is the point of all relationships. 

I also want to be loved however for my unique characteristics, for who I am specifically and what I bring to the relationship, which is very much conditional. I want to feel like hot stuff. A mate who wants to be loved only unconditionally is asking for their mate to be more of a parent to them, which is understandable as we all have wounded inner children wanting and needing this kind of love. 

As I get to play with my desirability and my creativity and my power in relationship, this becomes a powerful mirror and arena for my growth. The vulnerable piece here is of course feeling the parts of us who don’t feel like they are enough, or worthy, or capable of being brightly attractive. 

The feeling of receiving this kind of love in a relationship, (and it could be a mateship, or a friendship), is about feeling my desirability reflected to me in the words, actions and energy of the other. That’s a dicey ground to be lured into of course as it not only promises deep potential reward, but also threatens the deepest rejection. I believe this is why we entered this ground of duality, of ‘this over that’. Ultimately, it’s about all differences being consumed in the overwhelm of love, but on our way to that ultimate reconciliation of love are a whole bunch of lessons and experiences and feelings that are the whole juicy point of duality. 

On the giving end of this conditional love, your mate wants to feel hit on. She wants to feel you are taken with her, that she alone is the passion of your heart, soul and body. Her and none other. If she’s done some of her work, she won’t be impressed however with any ‘dutiful roses’. She will only be watered by you really and truly being into her and smitten. When something less than that is true, in my experience, it has to do with not bringing all of my truth, especially if it’s about an irritation or something I, or a part of me doesn’t like. It feels truly amazing when you are in this zone of being abandoned to your want of your mate and she can lean and rest into that as well as open her heart and body. 🙂

Then to the last piece of your great question – about how coming from one chakra or the other can dominate over the other…

What better arena could there be to play with these needs and dualities. A dual begins with an attempt to dominate and ends with its resolution of that tension, returning to love. Both are needed. ‘Erectile dysfunction’ afflicts the heart and the penis, and is really about this unresolved and unloved dominance when you feel into it. Remaining in one and not embracing the other (transcending duality like most spirituality attempts to do) is to remain uninitiated, and immature in the truest sense, and just doesn’t feel fun to me. I don’t think it does to anyone really. It’s just been a hideout for our vulnerability. Romantic love offers possibly the greatest growth ground and crucible for our growth in this way and it has much to do with the vulnerability and the attempts to answer that vulnerability with dominance. 

All of this is of course also true within ourselves and the dynamic between our own inner feminine and inner masculine parts, even more true actually, as in the inner is the real origin of what’s playing on the outside and so going inward becomes the healthy choice to seek any resolve to the whole dilemma.

Thanks for the great question and thanks for taking in the lengthy, albeit a very much partial ‘answer’, which hopefully left the question more unanswered than answered. 🙂 

More feminine and masculine input welcome, (regardless of your gender…)

The above conversation was part of our new private (and paid) SoulFullHeart Portal – please check us out if this calls to you. Link is here.

Much Love,

Raphael

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.  Visit soulfullheart.org for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc. 

We are now offering our SoulFullHeart Portal on Mighty Networks, a private virtual gathering place for sharing exclusive content from us such as energy update writings and guided meditation videos, plus community forum threads with topics and groups that you can read, join, and contribute to as you want. You can join us at the SoulFullHeart Portal for a membership fee of $14.99 USD a month: soulfullheartportal.mn.co/

Shelter In The Storm Teachings & Guided Meditation, Plus preview of 5D Transmission Group Call On Nov. 14th (Videos) | Raphael & Jelelle Awen

Published on by Jelelle AwenLeave a comment

By Jelelle Awen

This video is a recording of a livestream Q&A, energy update, and guided meditation that originally aired November 8, 2020 on Facebook. We answer questions, respond to comments and digest the current ‘storm’ of disclosure going on in 3D/4D timelines during the U.S. Election aftermath and ongoing Covid narrative. We share about cultivating and maintaining a shelter within by not focusing on externalized false gods and connecting to your Divine Self that can hold the space for reactions/traumas from parts of you or aspects from other lifetimes who are caught in the ‘storm’. SoulFullHeart Facilitators Gabriel Heartman and Kasha Rokshana also shared during the livestream and responded to comments.

The guided meditation offers a connection to your inner Protector who can show you a shelter within, a higher frequency space beyond 3D where you can connect to the Divine, parts that need you, aspects from other lifetimes, etc. We then repeat the mantra: I AM the shelter in the storm together. You can see the comments and questions that we were responding to here on my FB feed: https://www.facebook.com/jelelleawen

This livestream is a good preview and taste of what our group calls are like. We talk about our next one offering a 5D Golden Earth transmission coming up this Saturday, November 14th at 5:00pm GMT/12:00pm EST in the video below.

This is a brief video with Raphael and I filmed at the Chalice Well gardens here in Glastonbury. We are sitting on a bench in what feels like the ‘former’ cottage/hut spot of Anna, grandmother of Yeshua and powerful Essene/Magdalene, when she lived in Avalon for many years. We are nearby the Red and White springs, and the Tor, all powerful transmitters of Divine Feminine and Masculine energies of New Earth. I think you can feel the mellow and grounded energies coming through us from being there!

In the video, we talk about our upcoming group transmission call over zoom on Saturday November 14th at 5:00pm GMT (London, UK timezone.)/12:00pm EST/9:00am PST to transmit Golden Earth 5D frequencies to and with you. In this two hour call, we will talk about the challenge and opportunity it can be to connect to an inner lifeline to these Golden Earth frequencies in a supportive and intimate way that allows you to relate with them, embody them, integrate them into your everyday life, and heal the karma trauma that may be within your Metasoul and especially 4D timelines. We’ll be sharing how the SoulFullHeart process of connecting with and healing karma trauma with aspects of the self as ‘parts’ and Metasoul aspects from other lifetimes allows for this lifeline to develop and deepen. This feels especially crucial during this tumultuous time of death and rebirth and transition to New Earth.

We will also co-lead a guided meditation to bridge you to your New Earth lifeline, whatever that looks and feels like for you, with help from your Gatekeeper (who holds access to your akashic records and veil of amnesia/access to other lifetimes). This transmission supports the activation of your own inner lifeline and waters the ‘seeds’ of New Earth that exist within your soul field. We will also open up the space for a couple of personal sharings for any of those who would like to share. You can purchase the Zoom link to join us live for the group and receive the recording by offering whatever donation you feel to give (average is $10 CAD) to paypal.me/jelelleawen or purchase through soulfullheart.org/shop

Love from Avalon!

Jelelle

More information about 1:1 sessions, group call events, writings/books at soulfullheart.org