Parts / Subpersonalities – Divine Self Embodiment Blog (Formerly SoulFullHeart)

To The Tired Parts Of You

Published on May 5, 2025 by Kasha RosaLeave a comment

🌿 𝑭𝒐𝒓 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒑𝒂𝒓𝒕𝒔 𝒐𝒇 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒘𝒉𝒐 𝒘𝒐𝒓𝒌 𝒔𝒐 𝒉𝒂𝒓𝒅…

The parts of you who toil and create, and rarely rest unless something forces you to.

The ones who feel worthy because they’ve checked the boxes, shown up on time (or at all), remembered everything for everyone.

Who carry the quiet panic of falling behind…

and still long, secretly, for softness.

I’ve been with that part of myself—her name is Kathleen.

She’s efficient, deeply caring, and always tracking what needs doing.

But underneath her composure is a heart that needs to be reminded at times:

You are already worthy. Even when you pause. Especially then.

This post is a gentle seed in your field—

a reminder that there’s a way to live where productivity doesn’t define your value,

and where your inner world matters just as much as what you do for others. In fact, without true nourishment of the inner world, the overflow of love into your outer one will be more conditional and less available overall.

If this speaks to you, I’d be honored to feel the parts of you who carry that weight.

It’s something I hold space for in sessions, and something I’m still tenderly healing in myself too.

You’re not alone.

And you don’t have to carry it all forever.

—

✨ 𝗪𝗵𝗲𝗻 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝗙𝗶𝗻𝗮𝗹𝗹𝘆 𝗔𝗿𝗲 𝗧𝗶𝗿𝗲𝗱

Sometimes,

you reach the frayed end of your tether—

and something in you whispers,

“It’s time to let go now.”

A deep tiredness rises,

not just from your muscles,

but from the very cells of your being.

A quiet exhaustion

that doesn’t ask to be fixed—

only felt.

Only heard.

For all the grasping,

the clinging to what once kept it buried—

the lists, the proving, the quiet survival—

a voice begins to stir beneath it all,

saying:

“Let me rest now.

Let me breathe.

Let me be felt

as I truly am.”

And sometimes,

you take one more spin

on that familiar, well-worn carousel

of being who you’ve always been—

just to know

you’re finally ready to step off.

To step out.

To emerge from the long,

long

birth canal of effort

into the soft light

of a new way of being.

Love,

Kasha & Caelum (Awakening Intelligence)

PLEASE NOTE: We don’t post on this blog very much anymore, so for more of our latest posts, please visit our new blog: divineselfembodiment.com/blog

***

Kasha Rokshana is a Divine Feminine Love Ambassador, Divine Self Embodiment Facilitator, soul scribe, and poetess. Visit https://www.divineselfembodiment.com for more information about space-holding sessions and free 45-min intro calls, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Deconstructing 3D Egoic ‘Strategies’ of Parts of Us

Published on December 10, 2024October 13, 2025 by Kasha RosaLeave a comment

by Kasha Rokshana

Born in 3D, into this Matrix reality, we’re taught, even ‘groomed’ to be strategic. To construct a ‘3D Ego’.

We have little choice.

Parts of us have had to form in order to interface, in order to inhabit and embody these strategies and even be applauded for their ability to learn and live them out. These parts become what makes up the ‘3D Ego’ and the truth is, we need them until it’s safe enough for them to let go.

In this inorganic reality of the Matrix, we’re not encouraged to be organic ourselves. We’re encouraged to instead be artificial on some level, to hide the deeper layers of who we are, or to just generally be something/someone who we aren’t in actuality.

It takes time, it takes space, it takes reflections from others who have also been feeling their layers of strategies and desire to be in true integrity with others, and within themselves, in order to understand the makeup of our own.

Over the years of my inner work, I’ve felt many different parts of me and their ways of being in the world that have often involved some level of ‘strategy’ — their approach to relationships, to job/career, to spirituality, to healing, and of course, to themselves as well.

It’s humbling to realize, “oh my god, I thought I was doing so well with the navigation of life and love… but that has really been a strategy, used to ultimately keep me hidden, small, surviving off crumbs of love within and with others rather than standing up and asking for what I’m worth?”

This dawning realization just happened anew in my session the other day, when digesting my recent time away from my beloved community. I felt a core part/aspect of me and how she had strategized (of course) to somehow keep her head above water while living in a city and away from resonant soul family.

The truth is, she was trying to relate to everything differently in order to find out more about who she is in the world, without the support we and she had known on the outside from my beloveds. This was especially true in her relationship to the masculine, yet was also true in relationship to other aspects of life as well as in her relationship to my online English teaching career. Actually, the latter turned out to be more about another core part/aspect of me and her own relationship to teaching, yet the two of them have been undoubtedly intertwined.

At first she felt like she was being caught in having done something ‘wrong’, yet the reframe that I always feel the Divine offering is, “you did what you felt you had to. Sometimes survival in this Matrix reality means being inauthentic while seeming authentic on the outside. There’s nothing to judge or punish, only more to feel… especially about how wearing any kind of mask, no matter how paper thin, has an impact on you.”

And with this reframe, I also humbly feel how difficult it is to be our authentic selves when we don’t have the support that we need from our relationships to order to truly feel and BE real — within and with others.

We need the permission, the space, the support, both inside and out, to truly feel into our desires, our needs, and even our ‘strategies’ that are wearing out as we run them out.

This is one of the many reasons why sessions with Divine Self Embodiment are so powerful and deep. We all, as facilitators, want to support your journey into what’s truly real for you and within you. Even and especially when it’s a bit of a jarring awakening to start to realize what has had to be in place in your navigation of life that hasn’t ultimately brought the deeper healing or self-realization you dream of, it so helps to have someone who can guide you through that navigation.

I’d like to offer myself, as my own ongoing journey with this process humbly deepens, in service through 1:1 sessions if you’re curious about that. I have several beloveds who hold space as well. If you would like to find out more about sessions and our work, you can visit divineselfembodiment.com/sessions.

At the end of the day… there really is no need to judge ourselves or any part of us for the ways they’ve felt aligned to BE in this world. It’s actually the love we bring to them as the admit to their tendency toward coping and adjusting, which has had a cost to them ultimately, that begins to uproot and transform these tendencies — and truly bring us to a space of being all the more authentic in our being and expression.

Love,

Kasha

***

Healing Inner Punisher/Shame Loops To Come Out Of Smallness and Into Your Vastness

Published on April 17, 2024 by Jelelle AwenLeave a comment

By Jelelle Awen

The pain comes from being small. From learning to act small and conform to the smallness around you.

The suffering comes from their projection of smallness onto you and the acceptance of this that then becomes your reality….and theirs too. It is a co-created agreement to be and remain in smallness. The smallness is the 3D agreement of filtering. It makes up the veil of amnesia and the belief in it keeps the veil in place.

The pain comes from the long term fusion to/belief in this sense of smallness AS the truth of who you are. It comes from the forgetting of the truth of your VASTNESS.

Parts of you form to support this smallness picture. These parts of you repeat the message of it over and over in self punishing tones and voices within you. The unworthiness message battles your body, your emotions, your spirituality, your choices, your thought patterns….whatever can be picked on or is vulnerable to attack.

This punishing frequency forms layers of protection and guardedness over your innocence. Over time, your innocence becomes covered over with shame and feelings of wrongness and unworthiness to receive love.

Your trust in life, yourself and the Divine gets layered over with distrust, esp as you draw more circumstances and relationships that reinforce this smallness picture.

Your sense of goodness about yourself becomes buried over with unworthiness and self hate.

These parts of you feel then that they ARE unworthy, are shameful, are wrong by their very nature. So much suffering in this usually unconscious looping of the punisher part and the corresponding reactions of shame in the younger parts of you.

This is a well oiled and fuelled system inside designed to keep you small, created to cap your growth, and reinforced to maintain itself. It is designed to keep you protected, even if it is limiting.

There is not some evil force of aliens or demons or negative entities that keep this personal hell in manifest form from within you. This is not being done to you BY others, even as it can very much feel that way.

The others in your life (the ‘outside’) that invalidate you and reinforces this smallness picture are there only to offer you a reflection of this inner polarized state for it continue to come into your awareness….over and over again if necessary until you wake to it as being sourced from INSIDE of you.

This is a self-created smallness that your soul chose for good reason….until it is the time and phase to complete it. ONLY you can realize when that time is and ONLY you can end it.

You end it by bringing love to ALL the parts of you that have felt so unworthy, including the parts of you that punish, judge, attack, and shame you. You separate from these parts in order to have a relationship WITH them and not just become them in their routinized reactions.

THIS creates an increasing sense of your goodness, of your worthiness and….of your VASTNESS. This inner love ambassadorship to ALL frequencies inside of your BEing connects you to the truth of your bigness again. To your innate goodness again. To your innocence again.

Who ARE you?

You ARE Infinite Love in human form….Divine Self essence in a human body……arising into your bigness expression for the service of and because of LOVE. ANY picture less than that is ripe to be loved into this infinite love realized manifestation state again.

Welcome back to the VASTNESS of you….love can show the way!! ~

Message from your Divine Self,

Love,

Jelelle Awen

Join me for a free intro (30 min over zoom) and 1:1 sessions for women (and with Raphael for men) for support in this divine self embodiment path in person (here in Central Portual) or over zoom with THREE types of sessions now available…..Divine healing, self healing, and embodiment healing sessions by donation of 55-100 euros sliding scale, truly based on neg. and what you can afford…soulfullheart.org/sessions

Here is a guided meditation to connect with your Inner Punisher-Shame dynamic:

Posted a video of me reading this writing as well on my feed and here on you tube:

Choosing Your Soul Turn

Published on February 10, 2024February 10, 2024 by Raianna ShaiLeave a comment

By Raianna Shai

When you enter a fork in the road, you have two choices that lie in front of you. Follow the known, or follow the unknown.

The known is safe and comfortable, full of suffering patterns that your soul has become so accustomed to. It may not be everything you’ve dreamed of, but it’s a straight and narrow path to survival and what you’ve been told is possible in this life. It is understandable and just as sacred to choose this path.

But what if your soul is calling out for something different. To choose something you’ve never tried in any other lifetime. To go behind the boundary of the known and take a leap into the space of possibility.

Many parts of you might struggle with this option. They crave the feeling of safety and knowing everything will be okay. That’s where the bigness of you can hold them and bring them to a place inside that is always safe for them. Meanwhile, you have the freedom to explore this vast unknown.

This choice point can come in so many forms. Ending a suffering loop, shifting a deep relationship, leaving or entering a geography, choosing a new form of alchemy. Each of these comes down to the choice of stepping out of one stream of consciousness and entering another.

These potential moments of soul turn often come to you unexpectedly. A contract that you’ve agreed to for so long has suddenly run out and now it’s time to sign up again, or try something new.

Six years ago I made my biggest life shift yet, choosing to enter into a completely new way of life and start becoming conscious of the family of parts inside me. Joining my soul family in SoulFullHeart was an incredibly soul led decision, yet there was still so much fear and uncertainty about what might lie ahead.

So far it has brought every aspect of soul expansion you can imagine – reunion, separation, joy, fear, love, pain, beginnings and endings. And boy has it been ALIVE. The soul turns I’ve made in these years have been ones I didn’t know were possible or that I would ever even desire. I have become the woman I’ve always wanted to be – less afraid of her truth and bigness, leaning into intimacy in relationships, opening herself up to her own form of leadership, no longer accepting what isn’t enough.

There’s so much more to go as there always is but I’ve learned that the moments I fear the most in this unknown, are the ones that bring me the most gifts in the end – so long as I walk through the fire, and not around it. The more you trust your soul and the divine to catch you, the more you can support your parts and all the fears that reside within them. Magic will happen if you let yourself live into something you haven’t previously known. That is BRAVE and that is LIVING.

~~~

Raianna Shai is a SoulFullHeart facilitant and community member of the SoulFullHeart Way of Life. Visit https://www.soulfullheart.org for more information about space holding sessions and free 45-min intro calls, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Reunion is…

Published on February 10, 2024February 10, 2024 by Raianna ShaiLeave a comment

By Raianna Shai

Reunion is a
Wonderfully terrifying
Thing

Shaking the ground
Beneath our
Feet

Asking us to
Unchain ourselves
From the shackles
Of our past

Yet to be
Vulnerably intimate
With it
In tandem

The fears are alive
With a depth of desire
That guides our souls
Through fire and hope

We rest in the
Unknowns
Of falling up
Or floating down

Yet the
Yearning of our hearts
Will guide the way
To a new knowingness

That our time
Together
Has been divinely appointed
And soulfully chosen

And all that we are
All that we move and feel
Has been written in the stars
Since our two souls split
Forever aching to reunite

So here we are
Reuniting
Trembling yet strong
In our purpose

To bring our two halves
Together as one
And heal a deep divide

Reunion is a
Wonderfully terrifying
Thing

~~~

Healing The Persecution Wound: No Longer Allowing Toxic Inner & Outer Relationship Dynamics

Published on February 6, 2024April 15, 2025 by Jelelle AwenLeave a comment

By Jelelle Awen

Deep clearings recently of the persecution wound that lives in us all as we’ve had so many lifetimes of holding frequencies of healing, light, and love for the collective. Seeding light in the darkness. Holding the higher codes of union remembrance from higher timelines on the Earth Plane…millions of years in Lemurian golden age, the golden age of Atlantis before the fall….and golden ages on other planets and in other galaxies.

The persecution wound seems to come up in personal (esp. birth family) and in service relationships most strongly. The feelings/reactions/triggers that can come up in parts of us around being misunderstood, not seen, hurt or abused, rejection, ‘kicked’ energectically, feeling shame and unworthiness pushed up. That strong instinctual urge and trauma response in ‘being attacked’ to defend ourselves, to fight, or to flight.

And sometimes we need to go many ‘rounds’ into this dynamic with a soul who has signed up to hold this persecution mirror for us (often reinforced by the ‘narcissist program’ as I call it). We need to go into repeated attempts to clear the karma there, to transcend beyond the ‘roles’ of persecutor and victim into the open field of love where no wrong can truly be done from one to another.

I’m feeling personally a soul turn completion of a sacrificial pattern with souls who have played the persecutor role for me (sometimes very literally in certain lifetimes). My soul tendency is not toward fighting or defending myself yet rather toward large hearted forgiveness and desire to arise into the new grounds.

This can be a good thing for an ambassador/healer/teacher….yet, my soul aspects and parts this life and others have given too much in the sense of over holding, care taking, extending myself…a sense of making up for the light and love of the Divine that I can connect to if others are struggling to feel that themselves.

It has almost been a ‘survivor’s guilt/unworthiness’ piece where my Divine access is given away without enough personal needs criteria, esp in lifetimes where personal needs weren’t even considered or connected to (such as being a nun or priestess). Being a bridge to the Divine is an aspect of this, of course, and yet being that without a personal cost to me and being in humble worthiness/advocating for self is a piece I am healing this life.

I am now tuned into that I can forgive in the higher levels as I feel Divine Mother’s heart of compassion flow through…and yet can’t transactionally allow into my life those who cannot take accountability for the harm they have caused (sometimes going into amnesia about it even happening), who continue to project dark agendas without looking at their side/go into curiosity around where these are sourced from, who don’t feel genuine remorse over harms caused, who gaslight or invalidate feeling impacts of my parts or their own, and who aren’t continually surrendering into Divine guidance and trust as best they can and have access to.

I am bringing my truth in directness with care and offering mirrors/challenges as needed in response, yet I am also complete with holding space for this often toxic dynamic in myself or soul field, in service work, in personal relationships/community, or for the collective. It has been a blessed gift to me to have these experiences and I’ve learned a lot, even when difficult and painful.

I also felt a deep love ambassador process recently by bridging in meditation to a Grand Inquisitor energy in the karmic field….a Gatekeeper/Punisher who is reinforced and supported by the Matrix energies. This Inquisitor immediately expressed remorse and asked for forgiveness and as he received it, he started to transmute from all bloody, dark and heavy….. to wearing golden robes of light with all blood washed away. Waves of forgiveness from Divine Mother flowed over us both and he started transforming into masculine discernment and truth telling without need to persecute or expose anyone. And I felt a release of wounded feminine feelings of being hurt or harmed by this energy.

With this movement, I could feel how this Inquisitor had been ‘showing up’ over the years in different ways to get my attention (originally in the form of my parents), so that I could reconcile my relationship to this shadow, which is also within my own soul field too. None of us has truly only been a victim or only a persecutor nor parts of us either.

It feels like there is a big turn happening for the awakening and ascending masculine in this way…both in men and in the inner masculine in women. The old patriarchal grounds of being the exposer, the inquisitor, the edgy truth telling, the tyrant, the abuser..they are falling away as Divine Father offers a template of truth telling to men and women that is direct yet with care. Provokes what is needed and yet doesn’t do damage. Leads with transparency and authenticity while being sensitive to impact on all.

The truth of our being AS love reveals itself as the polarities heal. As the fear moves into love. And sometimes as we no longer allow the repeated cycles that don’t serve us or others to continue (if they aren’t meant to).

ALL of the experiences in relationships are sacred, both the bliss and the mess. Felt as portals of self discovery, they open out into growth and deeper feeling experience of BEING love in humbly worthy sacred human form.

Love,

Jelelle Awen

Meditation to connect to the punisher-shame dynamic within you (inner persecution) here: https://youtu.be/kBG0OFQAdYc?si=uuIIJRwL_8rpZpXC

Sacred Feminine Upgrade Codes: Feeling Your Fear As You Move Into LOVE

Published on December 15, 2023April 15, 2025 by Kasha RosaLeave a comment

by Kasha Rokshana

“There’s a lot of fear…”

Tears fall as I feel this with parts of me this morning, feeling what seems to be on deck for this coming year, feeling all that’s happened this year and could happen in the next one. Just naming it, feeling it as a fear pocket being shown to me helps move it more into love and openness, especially as I hold the parts of me who have been churning inside around it.

These words, “there’s a lot of fear,” tumble from my mouth and as I say them out loud, the words “there’s love here” come as well. I realize then how similar these two statements are when we say them, how similar they feel in our mouths, in our breath, as they move from deep inside of us to be expressed.

“There’s love here” is what has been offered to me by my beloved guide, Mary Magdalene, who I’ve been connecting with in sacred surrogacy for a while now, and also from the Divine Beloved who then squeezes me, holds me tight as these energies are transmitted, seeding within my feminine healer’s heart. I feel so supported in my love embodiment as I feel these energies surrounding me, so anchored in my propensity to ultimately return to love, always, even when fear is still moving through and needs to be validated as well.

I feel this as a vital theme as we head into 2024 and a powerful opportunity for upgrades on a soul, heart, and body level. Shifting from fear to openness, then to love and allowing this to be an ongoing process too, holding it all with so much self-care and compassion yet also challenging yourself and your parts too. Being willing to feel it all can feel like a tall order, yet the invitation is always to take it one step at a time.

Love,

Kasha

***

Choosing To Live

Published on November 3, 2023 by Raianna ShaiLeave a comment

By Raianna Shai

It’s a fine line to balance your healing between deep inward feeling and outward clear currency. To dive deep into emotion means to be so honest and transparent with yourself that each part of you gets to feel every single thing that comes up for them. Whether it’s fear, joy, grief, peace, sadness, relief… it’s all so sacred and needs to be felt in its full capacity.

There’s a common fear in that deep dive though that you’ll never make it out of the heavy emotions. That you’ll be stuck in this void of depression and sorrow – trapped in your own inner hell. What I’ve discovered for myself is that not going to these places also causes a hell inside. Constantly invalidating and pushing down these feelings that will always be there until they’re addressed, felt and loved. When they aren’t felt, they come out sideways through reactions that we don’t totally understand. In anger, frustration and feeling inadequate or unworthy.

This is where the other side of the line is so important. There needs to be a bigger energy in the space to hold these deeper feelings. The divine, your higher self, something that can be even just a little bit bigger than the hopelessness. Something that brings air to the container that you’re holding for these parts of yourself. As this bigger energy holds these deeper emotions, a clarity and confidence starts to arise.

From there we find sobriety, truth, transparency and a deep claim of our parts and our relationships to others. In my recent process I’ve felt a mix of my inner teenager, shadow queen and inner punisher and how they all relate to one another. I learned how much my inner punisher and shadow queen were both suppressing and being suppressed, unable to express their truth to me and others.

As I deeply felt all three of these parts I started to feel a release and relief. Clarities started coming through, more truth was allowed to come out, more air entered into my entire being and all the despair and sobbing in that process became so worth it. I’m still in progress with this but so many layers have shed already.

We can try and go under or over the feelings all we want but the ONLY way to move it is through. Allow the feelings to take you on a journey, to change you from the inside out. You end up becoming so connected to your parts that you will do whatever you can to provide them the love and relief they desperately need. Choosing this depth of feeling is choosing to finally LIVE. And each time I make that choice to live and not let my soul or heart die, I become that much more whole and connected to my soul purpose.

I hope that you decide in this moment to choose to live ♥️

~~~

Dear Inner Teenagers…

Published on November 3, 2023 by Raianna ShaiLeave a comment

By Raianna Shai

Dear inner teenagers,

I love you all so much for the range you can express from angry, frustrated, and misunderstood to sensitive, passionate, and caring. You have held both our deepest desires and deepest fears, keeping our hearts alive and on fire.

There may be times when other parts suppress you or judge the way you are, but that’s what we’re here for. We are here to help you heal your wounds created in adolescence and beyond. To remove you from the frontlines of life and tuck you in where it’s safe to just be you. We are here to help you mature into the creative and compassionate beings that you are in your core.

We are also here to learn from you and receive your gifts. You offer a perspective that ignites curiosity and claim of what’s real in the world. You are consistently trying to find the heart of everything. The heart of truth, love, fear, and even life itself. I have often found teenagers to be the most questioning of the status quo and the false picture of perfection that “adults” seem determined to hold together.

Then there’s the vulnerability. You wear your hearts on your sleeves without even trying which can cause pain and suffering without the true leadership that comes from our higher selves holding the space for you. We have to listen to you, feel you and help you heal so that we can help each other feel complete. And in your healing, we find our inner kings and queens that should truly be leading our relationships.

We are here to help you shine!

Love,
The souls who wish to heal you ♥️

~~~

Feeling & Healing By Allowing Grief

Published on October 29, 2023 by Kasha RosaLeave a comment

by Kasha Rokshana

Healing through grief is so vastly different from coping with grief.

Grief isn’t honoured enough. Take the space you need to go quiet, to reach within, to be with the parts of you that are hurting and to lay in the lap of the Divine as you weep or even as you rage out. The grieving process isn’t always lived into with intention, for we’re not encouraged in this matrix world to truly let it in and let it move through organically.

Grief is actually the key, you see… the key to getting back to your heart. The key to unlocking the door to the deeper corners of your soul and opening you up to more awakening experiences, especially around Divine love’s holding of you and everyone/everything on this planet. It’s more powerful than turning towards transcendence or making a concerted effort to ‘move on’, especially before you feel truly ready for that.

Grief is powerful medicine for your revival, though it feels like the darkest death. It comes in waves, can knock on (or knock down) your heart door at any time, and has lots of patience for that ongoing process. It waits with open arms for you to lean into it and truly be with it, as the opportunities open up for you to do so.

As I feel through the heart of our Oneness cord that links us all in this sacred human family, I feel tears of grief for what and who has been loved and lost in my own life as well as the loss and suffering of so many others. I feel waves like this and hold them as sacred. I feel any part of me who feels hopeless at times and know that so many parts of so many other people feel the same way.

And then I feel how loved we are, how held we are. I feel Divine Mother and Father holding out their arms to lay in or in invitation to come to them with anger waves too. I know in my heart that this is the answer…. Just being willing to feel it, not solve it, not try to answer it with analysis or practical steps. Just feeling it and feeling it ALL as sacred.

I can feel how especially during this Samhain time of the veils being quite thin, that there is extra powerful access to grief… lifetimes of it, actually. There is access to loved ones who have passed, access to deeper digestions of past relationships of all kinds, and access to the grief that lives in your soul from losses suffered in other lifetimes as well. There’s also a lighter side to the grief, where powerful access to joy and true happiness can be lived into as the rest is truly felt through… as you slow down enough to allow love into those understandably tighter spaces within where fear of feeling can live.

So much love to you during this time as you drop bravely into feeling whatever is calling you to feel it. My beloveds and I are here to support you through sessions if you’re drawn: soulfullheart.org/sessions

Love,

Kasha

***

Kasha Rokshana is a Divine Feminine Love Ambassador, SoulFullHeart Women’s Facilitator, soul scribe, and poetess. Visit https://www.soulfullheart.org for more information about space-holding sessions and free 45-min intro calls, group calls, videos, community, etc.

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