Tag: awakening

The Capacity To BE What We Have Most Been Missing

Published on by Jelelle Awen4 Comments

By Jelelle Awen

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What are the scenes of your soul’s despair? What are the scenes of your this life traumas? And what do they tell you of your Now? What do they show you that connects to your Now? What do you feel as you enter them with your heart open and ready? If you are open to looking, to feeling, to viewing, to connecting to this, it can move out of freeze frame and into liquid motion and fluidity again. It becomes unstuck, sprung back into life with all the energy it formerly occupied being freed up.

This is the time to BE this kind of self investigator, detective, inner journeyer to discover what there is to feel, see, know, remember. Avoidance hasn’t been working anyway, as the tension of it shows up in some way. Resistance cannot cover over that which persists, calling for your response. The part of you (that has been guarding and protecting over these ’emotional scenes’ because they don’t want you to feel any more pain) is getting TIRED. Their weapons are getting dull anyway. They don’t really want to fight or battle or guard anymore.

Much love is available for the going in now. It won’t be like before. You are much more able to hold it and feel it than parts of you may imagine that you are. Your human heart has such a deep and powerful capacity to feel and offer compassion to yourself. Your human heart is unlimited in its capacity to respond to whatever most needs your love inside of you.

This is what we are called to respond to that has been ‘left behind’ before or overlooked or suppressed or just not able to be addressed. We have the capacity now in our arising sacred humanity to BE what we have most been missing. To form our own bridges between what needs us most in our emotional bodies and in our soul legacies. Now is the time for this healing of self that is the manifestation of ALL our capacities. ~

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Jelelle Awen is an Emoto-Spiritual Teacher, Sacred Feminine and Sacred Union Facilitator, Soul Scribe, waySHOWer, and co-creator and teacher of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. She is author of Sacred Human, Arising Wonder: Ascension Through Integration Of Your Emotional Body With Your Spirituality and  Keep Waking Up! Awakening Journeys To Avalon And Beyond .

Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

SoulFullHeart Weekly Museletter: Emotional Ascension

Published on by Kasha Rosa1 Comment

This week’s Museletter has found it’s way into our midst! This week we feature our article from Gabriel on Emotional Ascension and letting go in order to let in NEW life circumstances that our hearts and souls very deeply need and desire. This is a tough crucible to hold and Gabriel shares from his own experience of what these fires are like to walk through and what is on the other side of them.

We also have the book release of Jelelle’s creation, Sacred Human, Arising Wonder, available NOW in print and e-book!

We also have many writings and several recordings to take in, including the recording of last week’s virtual group call on the Emotional Body and going deeply into the healing of it through parts work and SoulFullHeart.

Go here to visit this week’s museletter and visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com to sign-up to receive it in your email!

 

Enjoy soaking up the SoulFullHeart sun…. ❤ to you all!

 

SFH museletter May 29 2017

The Beauty Of Our Messes: Living Life From The Heart

Published on by Kasha RosaLeave a comment

by Kalayna Colibri

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Gosh, claiming someone or something can feel like a big leap of faith. It is an agreement to fall in love. It can get to a point where even claiming the next step of the staircase can feel like a lot, like you and your parts know somehow that life as you’ve/they’ve known it is about to change. Some of us are more cautious than others. Some of us dive in head, heart or soul first, no matter the circumstance. There could be a balance here, and yet the whole point, it feels like, is to allow yourself to be ‘out’ of balance. To let something or someone new that’s arising in your life tip you completely sideways and add some new wonder to every fiber of your existence, known or unknown. Parts of us have all sorts of reactions to this and it’s important to feel every one as it arises, paving nothing over, and yet the messiness of it all, even feeling in hindsight what was buried, IS the point! Sometimes our growth edges cannot be planned or deliberately planted, yet stumbled upon. And sometimes this is the only way to find them.

As children, getting messy was easy! It was the way we learned to communicate, the way we learned to play, the way we learned how to BE with others and also with things. We shed tears over broken bones and toys and friendship bonds. Sadly too we also learned how to punish ourselves from the inside and as we learned what was ‘wrong’ and what was ‘right’ we also learned how to judge others for whether or not they followed the ‘rules’ as we learned them. Parts of us or subpersonalities began to form around these traumas, identities and ways of ‘seeing’ ourselves started to develop. We stopped being willing to get messy, sooner or later, for the consequences, which no one could feel us in at the time or offer us heart-centered guidance through, soon became things to avoid, avoid, avoid… it feels like this is when we learned how to stop falling in love, falling on our faces or bums or even our hearts when necessary, whether over a person or a butterfly or puppy, or a flower we just really wanted to run to in order to take it in deeper! We wanted to play, we wanted to learn how to fly, we wanted to experience the whole world with every sense alive in us. AND none of us were born judges or critics or even fanatics… we just WERE.

Our worlds of discovery, uncovering all we wanted to, became answered by knowledge. So many of us eventually began a path of seeking and spirituality in order to find magic in life again, and yet even this has become a place of only seeking knowledge and not actual experience. Not the same experience that falling into and sometimes on top of your heart can offer. It’s not the same as the inherent sense of spirituality we were BORN with, that got snuffed out because we had to go through phases of this. It’s been a tough road of remembrance and so it continues to be sometimes, but this innocence, this heart-centered love of everything, is still there. The healing, the difficulties, the FEELING is all worth it to find this place inside the inside of us again. We are constantly being invited back inward, back to that place where the magic has always been. We can’t return fully to that place where we were as kids, and yet we wouldn’t want to, for all that we’ve gleaned from our life experience has been a gift that’s meant to integrate with this child within, hold it and treasure it too. As we claim each piece of who we are, who we want to be, who we want to be WITH, we find our way back to the pure love we came from, bringing our full treasure chest with us that we always wanted to find as children but needed life to bring it to us.

A childlike claim of the love of discovery, of life, of love itself… the claim of another in romance, the claim of ourselves in pursuit of our deepest healing and experience of self love and reverence and worth… this is all within us and the more we allow in the possibilities of mess but still go IN, the more we seem to grow and the greater our depths of soul and heart seem to BE.

With each firewalk we endure, we find our power again, and realize we never lost it but it was our power that chose it in the first place. With each step into the wilderness, we find that getting lost only means being found in a new way. With each garden bed we till, we make friends with the bugs and learn to love the dirt under our fingernails. And with each fresh beat of our excited hearts, we learn yet again, that even the roughest seas bring us back to the shores of love and the light we’ve always had within. ❤

 

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Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, writer, and poetess. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

 

Weekly SoulFullHeart Museletter: May 22, 2017

Published on by Kasha RosaLeave a comment

Welcome to another sailing of the SoulFullHeart Weekly Museletter! This week we featured a NEW energy update from Jelelle Awen, regarding incoming light waves lighting us up, encouraging a deepening of soul and heart claims in ALL areas of our lives. We also have a recording from the virtual group call for women last weekend, featuring some stunning teachings from Jelelle that men and women alike will benefit from taking in. The main article this week is from Jelelle and offers us all a perspective on bridging our ascension with our emotional body. This is one of the main foundations of the SoulFullHeart process.

We also feature another pool of writings from the week, by Jelelle, Raphael, Gabriel, and Kalayna. We welcome you to immerse and soak in the SoulFullHeart ‘heart tub’ with us, as you continue your own journey to feel and heal your own parts and experience your ascension and awakening at deeper and deeper layers of your BEing!

If you would like to take in this week’s Museletter, please go here.

If you would like to sign-up to receive these Museletters in your own email every week, please visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com to sign-up!

LOVE to you!

 

SFH museletter May 22 2017

 

 

A Part Of Me

Published on by Raphael Awen2 Comments

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By Raphael Awen

A bigger than usual personal piece for me the past few days, even to the point of choosing to not attend yesterday’s scheduled group call of ours, opened out. I felt to share a window of it, even as i’m still feeling a bit wobbly on some new-found legs, around it all.

A few days ago, I felt an energy in me frustrated with the pace of things ‘Why can’t spiritual growth be more instant? Why does it seem so foggy to truly remember who and what we really are? And when we do remember, why does it take so much process?’ I was also curious to have more of a visceral sense of my star-being self, (of who I am outside of this incarnation) as Jelelle and Kalayna have had open out for themselves recently. I felt a different tone to all of these energies and decided to journal with the voice of it that evening. A name came immediately as I did: ‘Rhodes’ which I later learned means ‘opening in the forest’ or ‘rose arden’. Rhodes told me that he was entrusted with keeping the veil of forgetfulness in place to make the whole earth-life thing doable. As I corresponded with him, negotiating with him to allow for a relaxation of this role of his in my life, he softened considerably and told me that I would feel an immediate shift and that I needed to be ready for it, as it can be quite destabilizing he told me. I was surprised by the sense of how much business we conducted in a short single journal session, but felt tired and that I needed to rest to hold what was coming.

That night, I had a dream where some men were sheeting a ceiling on a construction renovation project and it was clumsy as the house was unlevel and off square. A much more experienced guy walked in and offered that backing up and undoing the sheeting, correcting the settling first and starting over would be quite easy and much more effective in the long run. I took from that the guidance to be willing to let go of some ‘progress’ as well as some obvious struggle. Many times deconstruction is necessary in order to construct the life we really want. The valid thing we built before doesn’t fit where we want and need to go now.

The next morning, I had scheduled to take our dog Koda into the groomers for a much needed haircut and relief for the hot season. Between the language barrier and my desire to go through with this, and Koda’s protectiveness, I was left with having to leave him for the day, him maybe having to get a needle to sedate him as he can be bitey to strangers and especially groomers that don’t feel him. The clerk offered me a kennel to put him in and when I did, he resisted and I reassured him after feeling if this is what I should really do or not, and had to force him into the kennel. I then left, with Koda barking like crazy and me feeling quite uneasy about what was supposed to be a couple hour deal now stretching out into an all day affair with Koda having to be taken off site to some special groomers who can handle dogs who may bite. I had planned to hang out up town, but felt so uncomfortable for Koda that I went directly home thinking that Jelelle was going to say ‘You did what? OMG, we have to go and pick him up!’ Turns out Jelelle didn’t feel any of that and felt a trust about it all that I (and part of me) then rested into.

This then brought up the question about ‘why the big reaction in me?’. As I felt it, I was immediately brought back to feeling a visceral sense of moments in my life when I felt forced into a new context that I didn’t feel ready for, and into the pain of incarnation itself. I also recalled my early boyhood years with a dear friend that we used to play for hours alone together out in the woods in northern British Columbia. I recently learned that this area of Canada is known for considerable UFO activity, and I have been feeling into if my friend and I, and my fond memories are actually about a deeper connection with star-beings that were then obviously wiped from our memories. It only took a few moments of letting in all these feelings and i was immediately in tears. Jelelle of course supported me to go into the feelings. I took to my bed to weep out some of the most guttural tears I have ever had. The feelings ranged from anger at the necessary amnesia needed for our human earth-life journey, to realizing that I chose this, to feeling an overwhelming sense of love for the me who was forced into the many ‘kennels’ of human life. Later that evening, I was feeling into what this ‘Rhodes’ part of me was protecting so faithfully and I could feel the visceral sense of my star-being self. I happened to be corresponding with a man named ‘Andy’ that evening on facebook and I recalled how much I’ve always loved that name as ‘Andrew’ means ‘man,’ and it just felt right to call this emerging young part of me ‘Andy’ and see him as my star-being self.

So who’d have guessed that a trip to the dog groomer could bring up so much?! I of course recalled the familiarity of life circumstance coinciding with process and knew that none of this was random. Koda did make it home that evening, and although evidently he had been through alot, he was glad to be home, (although almost completely shaved, almost to the point of being unrecognizable, thanks again to the language barrier).

The next morning, (yesterday), was our scheduled group call and though I felt raw, I felt I could show up for the call as I’ve done lots of life while in process and feeling raw and have been shown how magical it can be to hold an emerging part of myself and take it into life with me as I do. As I lay in bed though and felt Andy, I felt how he didn’t want to show up for anyone, like doing the call would be stuffing him into the kennel. I was able to feel in all of my focus on service this life, particularly around showing up for public speaking, there has been a layer of self-consciousness that another part of me (Rhodes) has had to manage and suppress to keep things intact. This has left a layer of performing and unnaturalness with my service to others (though Jelelle assures me, it’s quite small) that when feeling Andy’s discomfort around people, feels quite big. Jelelle and Gabriel and Kalayna were more than equipped to do the call without me and I suspected there would be some corresponding reason for me not to be there as I chose to take Andy out on a wonder walk through town. (star-beings love to do that with you holding them)

Before heading out with Andy, I had to tend to Koda who had bouts of diarrhea and spitting up all night, feeling more of the trauma that he (and Andy) had both been put through, each on their respective timelines. As I was waiting for Koda to do his business, I looked up at the hillside and for the first time ever in our neighbourhood, I looked up at a mexican pheasant in flight heading our way as it flew into a nearby branch, lodged there a while and then flew again right across our field of vision putting on a little show for us with all of it’s beautiful colors. I knew it was a message and felt the love in it, but decided to google ‘pheasant animal totem’ to see what else might be there. I read about their magical power of attractiveness and pursuing what they want AND that they also know when to pull away and take respite for themselves. Okay, then, another message to pull away and be with myself (myselves).

I’m feeling, as i mentioned on some wobbly, but new legs in the world, feeling a very real aspect of myself, birthed out of the ‘amneasic sac’ of forgetfulness into being re-membered back into my conscious awareness. There’s a lot more to integrate it feels like, but I wanted to share this update as both Andy and Rhodes seem okay with me doing so as they both feel a new me here to hold them.

Turns out the group call went AMAZING without me, or maybe more like ‘with me being right where I was meant to be’.

Okay, back to digesting, …more pieces to put together…Thank you for feeling this with me, and may it give you a window into the magic of feeling your own parts.

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.Visit  www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our patreon page to make a donation to support our work at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

 

Following Love’s Call

Published on by Jelelle Awen4 Comments

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By Jelelle Awen

To follow love’s call is to go into unknown places that need the sound, need the frequency, need the HEALING that only love can offer. This ground is unknown for a phase….this LOVED in ground…..as it becomes more familiar, it becomes your NEW life and rumbles through the ‘old’ and what you had become settled into, what you had previously shrunk to or managed or controlled. There can be ash in the air feelings during this transition into love and into the soul and into the heart life. You are holding funerals for versions of your old self as it drops away and the old life burns down.

Yet, if you are following love and holding it ALL with love, you can trust that all that is fading, burning, collapsing, pushing up is meant to BE. Only that which is based on the NEW, that which is based in love, can arise out of all this. Only that which is REAL.

THROUGH the pain of letting go is then the authentic arisement of JOY, desire, bliss, magic, intimacy, and pleasure. These form the emotional foundations of your NEW that replaces the old. These are the transaction grounds that you desire and experience in ALL of the relationships in your life. These are more and more your everyday reality of reality in a NEW world made by love for love and with love.

~

Jelelle Awen is an emoto-spiritual teacher, sacred feminine and union facilitator, soul scribe, waySHOWer, galactic love ambassador, and co-creator and teacher of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. She is author of  Keep Waking Up! Awakening Journeys To Avalon And Beyond and an upcoming book to be released on June 1st, Sacred Human, Arising Wonder. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Healthy Spaceholding

Published on by Raphael Awen1 Comment

 

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By Raphael Awen

I’m meeting with a new person later this morning for the first time. (a ‘facilitant’, as we call them in SoulFullHeart, as ‘client’ is too business sounding and ‘patient’ is way too broken sounding) I’m feeling how I know little about this man who’s asked and paid for a session, and there’s a mixture of feelings going for me, as I’m sure there must be for him.

It feels like our Higher Selves are having a pre-meeting sorting through where we can and will go together later today. Then there’s our conscious selves who will be entering the dedicated space later who are also sorting through some things. As I tune in my guides, and feel myself, and open my heart, I feel them reassuring me that it’s a lot like wooing a woman, to find your mutual ‘heart, soul and body talk’ dance together, something you can’t pre-plan, but only flow with and respond to with desire leading. Ahh, that always helps to feel.

Serving someone in this way is really an authorization by the person to serve them. I claim an ability and gifts and an open heart, but that only gets the opportunity to happen with the person I’m serving to the degree and on the terms and pace that they authorize me to be that for them. One of the key things on my mind going into a session is looking for some kind of indication to the question, ‘So, how can I help you?’ While it may sound a little business like, it’s actually a key grounding piece to finding our way together in a spaceholding relationship. Sometimes people are drawn to our energy, even to the point of paying for a session, but don’t have a deeper conscious need that is leading for them. This then narrows the ground of where we can go together, or puts an unfair pressure on the spaceholder to be something more for the person than is natural or even healthy for the spaceholding relationship. The spaceholder can only serve, healthily at least, with the facilitants’ need and desire leading.

When there is a presenting need that is leading, it creates a natural direction and grist for a way into deeper process together.

In my own experience of having a spaceholder for my own emotional body awakening process over 3 years, meeting twice a month, I was served by 4 different facilitators who were part of a community and paradigm that were part and parcel of the awakening, 2 of which were women, one of whom was Jelelle 🙂 .There were deep things I wanted to open out and let into my life and decondition from. I knew for me it was more about the things that didn’t appear to need fixing in my life that were the very things that I wanted to experience freedom from. I recall over this 3 year treasured experience, it wasn’t so much about the spaceholder being any kind of super magician, (though their open heart was truly magical in another way), it was also about the paradigm of the healing offering itself and the reflection of that in community that was just as much the juice that created the movements for me, week after week, month after month.

So meeting with a new facilitant for me is like a date to feel what the attraction, juice grist is between us to find a deepening into a new way of life for the facilitant as much as it is about helping the person find relief or healing in the moment. Ultimately, in SoulFullHeart, we feel the process is the healing and the process gets the results, and facilitators and facilitants simply work the process, albeit in a magical and heart open ‘arising’ kind of way.

A huge part of the SoulFullHeart process and something we offer in all of our writings and video offerings, which hopefully a potential facilitant has felt into before contacting us is how we heal and awaken through getting to know and feel parts of ourselves. This ground is so key to the movements SoulFullHeart can offer to people, that also so releases the facilitator and facilitant from the pressure of ‘fixing’ anything broken. Nothing needs fixing. All things move on the ground of feeling. Our current ways of relating to life are held as energies by parts of ourselves and all they need to make huge shifts and changes is to be felt and experienced by a heart open ‘other’. This ‘other’ is your growing feeling you, differentiated through the parts work illumination process, whom the facilitator only templates for a time, giving you back to you, one session at a time.

Which is another cool thing! The whole process is a ‘pay as you go’ and I would say also a ‘validate as you go’ process leaving the facilitants’ autonomy fully intact from start to finish, as is so necessary in any kind of a healthy deconstruction process. Power can never be taken, but only surrendered, and then only as it is an act of the powerful sovereign self choosing the surrender.

Okay, time now to pause and get ready a bit more for an exciting session ahead. I’d love to hear from you if our process calls to you and to where life is leading you. It truly is magical and finds its own way when you are ready for it.

More about session is here: www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit http://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our patreon page to make a donation to support our work at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

 

Energy Update: High Frequency Light Waves Offering Support For Soul and Heart Shifts In ALL Areas Of Life (Video)

Published on by Jelelle AwenLeave a comment

By Jelelle Awen

After writing about the high frequency LOVE waves that are coming in just more and more every day into our atmosphere (Gaia’s and our INner ones too), I also share more on this video about these frequencies. Coming from an emotional body perspective WITH the energetic one, I offer a sense of how you are being invited to move beyond compartments in your life through negotiation with the 3D self aspects (esp. the Inner Protector) which still guard and even block your soul frequencies from flooding into ALL areas of your life.

This seems to be the invitation to us ALL through this ascension process and the gift of these high frequency energies…to embody our soul essence/higher self WITH a healthy and mature emotional body. This means LIVING everyday the 5D Heavenly life that our soul most wants and desires (which can be quite different from what our 3D self wants and has gotten used to as comfortable and safe)…..This is about serving love as our highest purpose here and aligning our life, through practical changes that flow out of the inner work, to this Divine expression.

I talk too about SoulFullHeart sessions, where we navigate this inner differentiation ground with you as you are able to open up access to higher self frequencies more clearly (BEcoming this YOU more and more) while you connect with your emotional body through parts work and karmic soul healing too. More about sessions here: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions

This is the article I wrote about this too…

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Jelelle Awen is an emoto-spiritual teacher, sacred feminine and union facilitator, soul scribe, waySHOWer, galactic love ambassador, and co-creator and teacher of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. She is author of  Keep Waking Up! Awakening Journeys To Avalon And Beyond and an upcoming book to be released on June 1st, Sacred Human, Arising Wonder. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Fractals Of The Divine

Published on by Raphael AwenLeave a comment

 

fractal

By Raphael Awen

Until we show up as an Aware Self, or our Authentic Self, to feel what a part of us is feeling AS it is feeling it, we are ‘fused’ with this part of us, and there is no space for feeling to flow. Feeling is more of a transmission between 2 or more parts of us, rather than what we see as a feeling ‘state’ of a singular self.

In the same way that we are fractals of the Divine, and that all Divinity can be found in any of its parts, so are our subpersonalities or parts of us fractals of us, or fractals of our Higher Selves. The Divine is not a singular entity, but rather an ever multiplying reality in an infinite reality and infinite love picture. If you are ‘having a bad day’, the Divine is feeling you and itself ‘having a bad day’ through you. If you bring your awareness to the Divine’s feeling of you, you make this real and tears of reunion flow. Until you bring your awareness to the love flow of the river between you and the Divine, you are ‘fused’ as a single and separate self. But when you see and feel your essence as a fractal of the Divine, you allow and create flow.

A single self cannot offer the feeling dance of duality to itself. It can only long for the imprint and presence of an ‘other’ to ‘transact’ love with. None of us are in fact any ‘single’ so called ‘self’, but instead a tapestry and diversity of parts with very different needs, desires, ages, orientations and reactions to life. Simply letting this picture into your awareness causes relief and resonance to flow. The only true ‘personality disorder’ is the one that sees and feels itself as an isolated singularity when in fact, we are all many. The single self is the fused self that must go external to find ‘other’, whether in human form or Divine form, to create any flow for everything it needs.

When you begin to feel yourself as a tapestry of parts and begin to differentiate the parts that make up your ‘you stream’, you feel the part of you that is so hungry for love contrasted with the part of you that actively resists love; you feel the part of you that wants to strike out in adventure contrasted with the part of you that is afraid of leaving home. When such polarities live in you ‘unfelt’, what we call ‘you’ comes across as some controlled flat-lined muddle in the middle. However, when you begin to feel these parts of you as they are inside of you; distinct beings and aspects of your BEing; each holding different aspects of your wounding and your healing; your conditioned anchors to ascension and your soul gifts that can soar; now, you open out to movement. Movement is what you came here for in the differentiated world of duality dancing and expressing.

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our patreon page to make a donation to support our work at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

 

Soothing, Softening And Healing Our Inner Protector

Published on by Kasha Rosa2 Comments

by Kalayna Colibri

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There were edges in me yesterday. They were much softer than they once were, yet were there just the same, poking outward from inside, wanting me to be covered with some spiky armor to keep energies out and to protect a preciousness inside of me, an ever-awakening yin-ness and sacred feminine energy, from being too exposed. It’s a more male-feeling edge, a masculinity that is so subtle now after years of working with energies like this on different layers of my BEing through this process of mine. This energy has needed to be there, to navigate solo life chapters, to hold my online English tutoring job, to manage my money, my body, my dog, many many pieces and parts and aspects of me and my life. A fatherly energy that has also been a mate to parts of me, drawing men he can criticize and find ways to “keep out”, and the same goes for female connections too, no matter how porous. Essentially his job has been keeping love out instead of letting it flow inward and outward as its meant to and wants to, letting go more and more of control and fear-based frequencies, letting go of expecting a battle to ensue with just about everyone on some level and allowing my inner Queen, my soft and supple yet strong inner feminine, to rise….

This is a part of me and not a part of me, too… he feels more energetic than solid as our subpersonalities/parts normally are. He is a layer of my loyal inner protector as a woman. He has helped me through so much, been a genuine knight assigned to protect my inner Queen until she is strong enough to BE on her own. He has shown up consistently and gallantly, well-beyond his call of duty. Now is the time to help him rest more and more and the only way I can truly offer him that, is to feel him every chance I get… as luck (and LOVE!) would have it, I have plenty of “grist”, as we say in SoulFullHeart in which to feel him – opportunities and situations in my life where he shows up more and I can feel him doing so. I even feel him now as I write this, editing my words, spelling and grammar a bit as I go, wanting to help me bridge this experience for YOU, whether or not you too are a woman, for men have this too. It’s a wounded masculine expression, formed in response to the pervasive wounded masculine in different timelines of our current and ever-evolving, ascending world. He says this and also offers that it is truly gutsy, deeply courageous, to question these edges these protectors provide for us… to ask them to let our vulnerability BE and shine, to let love in and show a trust in love that they don’t often have or feel unless we can help them find it again.

The hardest part of differentiating from this protector energy inside of us, is recognizing when and how it shows up. It so often has BEEN us for our whole lives up to now, and we have been convinced that this is really all there is to us in some ways (and this part has felt this about themselves). We are led to feel that what we are doing is inhabiting true man and womanhood, yet this is based so much on our often very limited and deeply wounded templating passed down from generations in our birth cultures and birth families and hasn’t yet been questioned. One of the biggest signs of any awakening on any level is starting to ask these and ANY questions like, “is this is really what I’ve been called to live as/like?”, “is this really me?”, “is this really all there is?”

The waves of movements and illuminations come into our BEing the more we open to receive them, in this process of softening and growing and relearning, in this process of getting to know our parts and uncovering our truest selves. Edges and spikes soften, reactions are challenged and soothed, fires are given fireplaces, and our hearts fill up with more and more love that was forbidden to come into us for so long.

Jelelle Awen and I are holding and hosting a group call for women this coming Saturday, where you can be supported by our energy and the yin already baking and waking inside of you. Here is the link to find out more: https://www.facebook.com/events/1083484598423538/

Our last group call for women was this past month, and Jelelle led us through a meditation to meet our inner protectors. You can listen to the recording of the teachings and meditation from that call here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vNPCtTQ9O-E

And, Jelelle and I offer you ongoing support in service of the LOVE that you ARE through space holding sessions, should you feel called to explore more of what I’m sharing here today and how it shows up in your own BEing and life. More information on that is here: http://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/soulfullheartwoman

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Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, writer, and poetess. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.