Lunar Eclipse Supports Feeling Shadow of Polarizations, Invites Unity

By Kalayna Colibri

Last night while witnessing the moon’s eclipse and feeling it hanging very close to my field, I was struck by a feeling of emerging sisterhood in my life and process, yet also the potential for it worldwide.

Yet… the temptation for many seems to still be that the way to unify is in anger. The way to find our common ground is to get pissed. To rage. To march. To condemn the masculine… in men yet also in each other. This is masculine versus masculine in the end, leaving the world inside and outside of us without any room for the sacred masculine AND feminine to unite and make love.

Pointing fingers, protesting, arguing without care of where and how it lands in each other is a phase of our relationship to each other that wants to move into something new. It’s a deep shadow expression of our fear of actually loving ourselves and each other. It’s a fear that the cycles of pain will continue while we continue to become a cog in the wheel, contributing to this cycle with that same fear. Real intimacy brings up a lot more than anger and push-away. It brings up tears and vulnerability, it brings up what’s underneath the rage and presses the heart to open in order to keep giving and receiving nourishment.

This picture of relationship I’m describing is not idealized or impossible… I get to live this every day, I get to be challenged by the presence of others who want to keep this flow going within themselves and with me, I get to feel and meet the challenge of continuing to move through my resistance to love and to keep letting it in… knowing full well that doing so means walking into fires of personal funeral pyres as the old way of approaching life and others passes away, and also knowing that it means getting to experience the heaven of a deeper and easier love flow than I’ve ever experienced before.

Even last night… sharing intimacy with my mate Gabriel, feeling his admiration of myself, my body, my heart and soul, I felt my admiration for his and let his male gaze into every pore. I felt so many tears come up and out like a fountain, feeling the pain of my soul and heart in relating to the masculine in ways that weren’t nourishing on either side and feeling afraid of it. Feeling the pain of a collective of women and what they’ve experienced and also the pain of the men who have not ever been initiated into how to make real love with a woman and what it feels like to be truly met or felt on their side either.

The more energy that’s spent in blame-game shaming and pushing away at each other, the less opportunities we create for the deep healing and nourishing intimacy that’s possible, that wants to bloom and blossom starting between parts of you that are polarized to each other but who want love more than anything else in this world. Starting to see and feel these dynamics within is the best and most profound way to shift what you draw in your outer relationships and what you start to see is really possible with each of them. ❤️

For support as you go into this territory and really feel how it all applies or could apply to you, my beloveds and I hold sacred session space for these explorations and more: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions

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Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for women age 25 and under, energy healer, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Going Yin: Exploring Authentic Sacred Gender Expression

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I have been on an inner quest this life to feel what authentic emoto-spiritual masculinity truly looks and feels like.  It is what I have called Sacred or Divine Masculine for lack of a better term. I feel a part of me as well in this exploration and question. In my essence, my masculinity is just what IS. It has no delineation. In my psyche, it is an archetype that has many colors and flavors. In my experience, it has shades of healing and trauma.

Through my own personal HIStory, I can feel how my 3D self has been on this quest to get his balls back. The ones he gave up so readily to an angry father, too afraid to stand up and fight back. The ones he gave over to mom for protection and valuation.  It was holding back authenticity in the name of fear and care-taking. It was the need to forsake sovereignty in the name of unconditional love.  But the love was always conditional. On both sides. It was the desire to feel the passion of life and true love unabated.

This quest for reclaiming inner authority, sovereignty, and passion ultimately led to worth. What is a man’s worth in this world? Fused to a more 3D existence it is chock-full of all sorts of ‘this and thats’. Most of which have nothing to do with our own felt sense of inner worth. This is where I was led to seeking love outside of me for assurance and insurance. Insurance against the void and the inner punisher within.

I was not raised religious but found a solace in the idea of a God that had a desire to love me and help fix me. Help feel like I was worth something. This God would be like a father and a mother both to my emotional body.  A part of me related to women as a means to feel what I thought it was to be masculine. They were goddesses to my wounded teenager. A ping ponging of the spiritual and the physical without bridging the two.

As a began my inner journey of parts work I could feel the myriad inner aspects of myself that held so much trauma and templating from my family, while feeling rage and compassion both. I could begin to feel what MY masculinity was and wasn’t. I had projected so much of an ideal onto what masculinity was based on my own this-life experience.

Add on top of that exploring metasoul, or other lifetime aspects, and a world of wounded masculine comes into view.  What it IS is really not the question anymore but what it is not. And that is always up for experiential debate as I live into a sacred romance inside myself and with a woman on a sacred feminine path.

Thus the quest continues as an unfolding of not something to live up to, as a part of me has always related to it, but of a moment to moment, day to day, conscious meditation into what is arising within the emotional body for expression, and felt exploration. What is being reflected by the feminine within and in relationship. This is personal to each individual, yet also has many similar themes and desires.  Beyond our gender healing there is a unification and a sacred dance that feels delicious and magical in what it means to BE in our authentic sacred human expression.

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Tomorrow in our SoulFullHeart Group call we will be talking about the sacred union codes being offered up through both the Sun and the Moon. The union of the feminine and the masculine within and in sacred romance. The sacred feminine energy being held by Magdelena and the sacred masculine by Christiel in the meditation Kalayna Colibri and I will be writing together. Go to https://www.facebook.com/events/813881412132524/ for more information.

 
Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.