The Suffering And Healing Of The Inner Teenager

Tomorrow in our next SoulFullHeart Free To Be group call, we will be diving into the Inner Teenager part of us that has a lot of wounding, BUT a ton of power and creativity. Right now the Inner Teenager may be coming out in a rebellious nature toward some of the ‘rules’ that are being implemented right now. There may also be a compliance as well. I know I had both in me in my teen years and struggled in the conflict between the two.

This conflict showed up as a desperate need to do well in school while being heavily into alcohol and smoking. I had a lot of mom/sister issues that showed up in my relationship to young women my age. It felt like an all-round hell zone for him in many ways. Trying like hell to fit in but not knowing which ‘in’ was really his.

As I feel him (his name is Chris, my birth name) from this vantage point, I can feel a soul that was winding down the 3D experience and struggling to reconcile that. Until of course he met Jill (aka Jelelle Awen) in college and the journey of self-discovery and authenticity began. It was a lot for him to let go of all that he thought he identified with (family, friends, relationships, conditioned ideas, etc).

He is very much into art and creativity and this too was a conflict as well with deep perfectionism that caused a lot of suffering. A battle between the masculine and feminine waged within. I feel him much more rested in with my inner teenage feminine and they seem to be in much more balance and harmony together.

In him there is a rebellion that just wants to go his own way without a fight. He doesn’t need to get angry anymore or judge others as this was always a judgement of himself. I feel a relief in him for no longer being in those days while still honoring all the process. There were lots of good times among the suffering. Those are what are now left in the memory banks when we look back.

Still much to heal around romance, intimacy, and sexuality but those are on their way with each passing day. Working with Chris in the early stages of my process was one of the most touching and healing parts of my journey. You don’t realize how much you are our teenager until you start to work with them.

If you are interested in connecting with and knowing more about your Inner Teenager, please join us for the next group call tomorrow at 10am PST. You can find out more info here:
soulfullheart.org/freetobe2 or purchase the link and soulfullheart.org/shop

*****

Gabriel Heartman is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator and Collaborator.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartorg.com for more information about sessions, group calls/events, videos, community, etc. 

SoulFullHeart Weekly Museletter: Bigger Picture Of The Covid Global Awakening Event

The weeks continue to be catalytic and expansive. This one no less than any other. We began the new round of Free To Be Calls with the topic of Money and that set of a firestorm of process for all involved. There were many digestions, awarenesses, and movements as a result. We also continued to feel the current energies of the Coronavirus and the New Moon on May 22.  You can read it here

Featured this week is a piece from Jelelle Awen. In it, she takes an eagle’s eye view of the Global Covid Awakening Event and what different timelines are presenting themselves and how compassion is an important aspect of these times:

All of us who came to Gaia at this time have chosen to experience a phase within this 3D Matrix consensus reality for the growth it offers to go through it and emerge out of it. Some of us became more bought into it than others and sometimes have been deeply plugged into it for multiple timelines. Before you would judge and condemn others who are still ‘asleep’ or label them as ‘sheep’, you can feel with compassion the parts of you that needed to go through that phase too and WHY they did. For many awakening souls, it is possible that they STILL have parts of them that are plugged into/corded into this 3D Matrix (for example in birth family relationships, mateships, and jobs). You can lovingly invite these parts of you to be felt and help them unplug through healing the emotional/soul traumas that may be keeping them stuck and plugged in.

The next ‘Free To Be’ group call series begins this Wednesday, May 27th @ 10am PDT. The second call of this series will focus on the Inner Teenager and his/her relationship to what is currently happening in the world today. With the shifting times, there is an opportunity to share your truth and that can create waves in your social world that may trigger the ‘black sheep’ part of you that has experienced social rejection for being different. We will share about how to digest the trauma around this invalidation experience from this life and other lifetimes. You will connect with your Inner Teenager in meditation to open up negotiation and collaboration during these shifts. 

You can offer a donation at any time and receive the recordings and also the link to attend any of the future calls live if you can or want to. More information at https://www.soulfullheart.org/freetobe2 

In this week’s edition of our Museletter, there is a sample of the last group call as well as the series overview for those that may have not seen it yet. There are many new articles and audio blogs from SoulFullHeart Facilitators/teachers Raphael and Jelelle Awen, as well as SoulFullHeart Facilitators Kalayna Solais and Gabriel Heartman. SoulFullHeart Collaborator and Facilitant Deya Shekinah has two very potent writings based on her personal process and growth of her parts during these times. 

Check out our ‘Quotes of The Week’ section for some quote cards you can save and share! If you can, please do tag us whenever possible.

If you are interested in a session, we begin with a free consultation for 30-45 minutes over Zoom with a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for you to learn more about the SoulFullHeart Process, what happens in sessions, mutually determine if the process is a fit for you at this time, and if so, which Facilitator to work with in sessions. Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions for more information.

Thank you so much for your interest in and support of SoulFullHeart Healing!

You can offer a donation to SoulFullHeart via PayPal here: paypal.me/jelelleawen

You can subscribe to our Museletters here: soulfullheart.org

Check out the latest Museletter here.

Deeper Intimacy With Self Through The Explorations With Money

By Deya Shekinah

Wow, what a topic money is. I feel so many layers and parts wrapped into the explorations with money. One of the things that Jelelle Awen offered in the SoulFullHeart Free To Be Two group call about money this week, was how some can relate to money as a false god. This landed straight away as what I experienced within my family, how earning money gave meaning to life and felt like the only meaning to life as there was no spirituality or religion in my upbringing. I feel how my Inner Masculine, David, took this on and how my Inner Child, Yazzy, was stifled by this. Since she was always so multi dimensional, she didn’t believe this to be true, but as there was no one bringing any other meaning, she became capped by that.

I remembered a time when a male family member said to me that ‘money is the only thing that matters in the world’. At the time, I was blown away that anyone could believe that. As I feel it now, I feel so much density in that picture of our world, the lack of joy or spaciousness in it. As I feel David, I sense this energy within him as the conditioning he received from birth family members. 

Right now I am in a transition into a new way of being and earning money, that is bringing light to David’s relationship to money.  I hold and feel a lot of trust around money after years of transitioning and exploring money. This transition has grown into a deeper awareness and understanding of a greater meaning of life, as well as what abundance looks and feels like to me. 

I have learnt that abundance is many things. Not only money, but time, connection, vulnerability with others, space to BE. These all feel like abundance to me. I am coming to know and feel that my inner feeling of abundance is what draws abundance on the outside including financial abundance, even as that is still growing. For David, I feel him seeing this abundance coming in and seeing money coming in for offering my Soul Gifts, but he still does not FEEL abundant.

The group call has helped me feel this with him, his reality more of distrust and lack that he has been in and learnt throughout this 3D experience, sure that has been the 3D experience. One of the core beliefs I feel held in David is, ‘there is never enough money’., I see how much this creates that reality for us because he is so focused on ‘there is never enough’. He cannot appreciate or acknowledge it as it is coming in. I feel how it is the ability to be grateful for what IS, in the moment, that draws more of that thing to you, which of course is a journey, not something you can create through bypassing feeling the lack of gratitude. 

I feel how this lack of money belief is actually a cover up for lack of love, connection, communication and boundaries, it feels like. Money becomes this huge focal point when there is no other meaning to life. Money has become this huge elephant in the room, where we think about it, worry about it, are anxious about it, but we do not really honestly talk about it, at least in my experience and in this culture of my current geography. The shame, the guilt, the resentment around money is of course going to make it heavy and joyless. This feels like it creates blocks to, and a push/pull within us and our relationship to money, as well as abundance in general. 

I feel the lack of joy the Inner Masculine can hold around life in general, which then seeps into his relationship with/to everything else in life. I feel David feeling joyless, I feel him longing to experience joy as my other parts do, his sadness that he cannot seem to meet them there. Yet I feel how no one has ever asked him what he likes, what the meaning of his life is, and how he has been disempowered throughout this 3D experience too.

So now there is this new ground to walk out with him, where he is included and wanted, where he gets to feel and heal too because he is valued by me through this process. So this is where talking about money leads us, perhaps not straight away to more money, although I feel that coming in but to deeper connection, understanding and intimacy with our parts, and with each other eventually too.

You can purchase the recording of this Free To Be Two group call about money and attendance at/recordings of future group calls in this series by offering a donation of any amount. More information at soulfullheart.org/freetobe2.

Love,

Deya & David

Deya Shekinah is a SoulFullHeart Collaborator & Facilitant. Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc

Free To Be Two Six Week Group Meditation Call Series Starts May 20th W/Money Transition

By Jelelle Awen

THREE more days until the launch of our NEW six week group meditation call series, Free To Be 2: Navigating The Matrix Collapse To New Earth Transition!

Our first call this Wednesday, May 20th at 10:00am PDT (Vancouver, Canada time) will dive into a topic that is one of the most triggering for all of our parts….money and navigating our relationship with it! Money is such a uniquely 3D Earth timeline experience. A program designed to push up so much for us to grow and learn from! I feel many souls have chosen to come into 3D Earth timelines JUST to experience the crucible of money and what it brings up…interesting eh?

Raphael Awen and I will share in the call about our experiences and processes around money, how we have related to it, how we have had MANY phases and stages of shifting it….including declaring bankruptcy, going from quite abundant 3D money earning to living on hardly any to transitioning to earning our money from our soul purpose expression more and more in the last few years. We will offer a higher perspective and context about money as energy exchange and help you explore your relationship to it (including what templating you received around it).

We will also provide a powerful guided meditation for you in the Unity Consciousness vibe of the group to connect to the part of you that is most connected to and reactive to your money situation, which seems to always be about how parts of us relate to love.

You can join us live for this call and/or receive the recordings if you can’t make it live by offering ANY donation at soulfullheart.org/shop or paypal.me/jelelleawen. You will also then be able to attend and/or receive the recordings of the next FIVE group calls in the series! The content is laid out here: soulfullheart.org/freetobe2

Hope you can join us for this dynamic transition that calls for a deeper sense of the inner relationships in order to navigate it from a higher perspective and New Earth timeline!

love,
Jelelle Awen