Exploring Men’s Inner Protector

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There is a lot of beautiful writing happening around the feminine protector among women.  A sometimes fierce energy that has found its duty in protecting the supple beauty and divine creative power of the inner feminine.  It has arisen out of the need to keep this jewel safe in the invulnerable and aggressive world of the unhealed masculine energy that the feminine has found itself residing in.  But this was until such time when it was no longer needed and the more authentic and powerful BEing could emerge from its sheltered perch to relieve this sentry from his post and become more of an advisor and loyal inner guide, as well as a mate template.  

This picture feels so alive and clear to me.  But what of our male protection?  What has kept us in the more invulnerable state of truly letting our hearts be felt and expressed in a way that takes us into our hidden and not so pretty places?  Our fear and small places?  I feel how our inner feminine has been protected as well, along with our inner child in order to “survive” in a very outbound 3D reality.  Get to the heart of any man and you will find a pain of loneliness, disempowerment, and uncertainty of what the hell masculinity even is!  There is a rage of not being shown the “way” by a father who hadn’t the faintest clue himself in many ways.

For most men, the protection arose as either `fight or flight´. A more aggressive warrior technician scientist that could fear or control his way into a false sense of power and safety. This protection is meant to satiate the fear that lies in the inner boy or to even quell it as ‘boys don’t cry’.  This is a check against any outside force that would use this vulnerability against him as a ‘weakness’.  The fear of truly feeling what lies in our hearts is a difficult one for many men to bear.  This happens at varying degrees for each one of us.

The flight response, which tended to be mine most of my life is the protection of hiding.  In this form, the protector could be male, and it could also be female as in a very protective mother.  For those of us that were ‘mama’s boys’ with doting mothers, this would feel familiar.  Here our fight response has been muted and even castrated to some point.  An inner punisher voice can intensify the hiding if the father energy had similar tones as well.  Here the inner sensitive boy/feminine is much more aware and the protector will do anything possible to keep the boy from being put in situations where it would be vulnerable to attack.

For men, this protector is also found in the soul domain as a soul guardian and can serve this role very aptly.  Using spiritual gifts as a way to transcend or hide from very real emotional human pain and trauma that lies dormant in the emotional body.  This relationship holds many keys to our arising sacred humanity and access to even deeper embodiment of our soul purpose and gifts.

You can feel your protector when you feel pressed to produce, express, or manage in a very controlled or outbound way.  Or when you feel tight, distrustful, or anxious.  If you feel like you want to avoid something or just can’t find the will to even get out of bed.  Or maybe you just want to leave this dimension all together and find yourself back ‘home’.  The way we relate to the females in our life can show our protector if we find ourselves care-taking or pushing them away.  There are so many ways he, or she, can show up.

The main question to ask yourself is if you are fully BEing and living a life full of Joy and Possibility in any given moment.   To the 3D mind and suffering heart, constant Joy is an unknown yet this IS what is real in our essence as Infinite Love.  If we aren’t feeling a connection to this love frequency frequently, then there is a protection in between it and us.  I am continuing to unfold this for myself everyday.     

The protector of our male hearts is as valuable and tender as its feminine counterpart.  With a relationship to it, we can find ourselves softer and less aggressive, as well as more bold, provocative, and assertive with an open heart.  I feel so much more in my own power and masculinity than I did just 4 short years ago with this negotiation and relationship to that which has kept me hidden instead of outed.  Suffering instead of in Joy.

Raphael Awen and I want to call out to all men who are looking to further and deepen their individual power and self-love as well as draw or deepen a romance you may already be in.  You can find the details to the next Men’s Group call here: https://www.facebook.com/events/1529253583760067/

For a recording of a group call and meditation that Raphael and I did to meet your inner protector you can check that out here: http://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sfhman

We also offer personal healing sessions via Zoom to help you feel through whatever is blocking you from living and BEing the most authentic version of Love you can BE and ARE.  We also are inviting others to join us in community of heart and soul brotherhood if that were to appeal to your soul’s journey.  We are calling the knights back to the Round Table of Love and Goodness!  You can read more about that here:  http://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sfhman

My protector’s heart to yours,

Gabriel Heartman

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual teacher, men’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Soothing, Softening And Healing Our Inner Protector

by Kalayna Colibri

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There were edges in me yesterday. They were much softer than they once were, yet were there just the same, poking outward from inside, wanting me to be covered with some spiky armor to keep energies out and to protect a preciousness inside of me, an ever-awakening yin-ness and sacred feminine energy, from being too exposed. It’s a more male-feeling edge, a masculinity that is so subtle now after years of working with energies like this on different layers of my BEing through this process of mine. This energy has needed to be there, to navigate solo life chapters, to hold my online English tutoring job, to manage my money, my body, my dog, many many pieces and parts and aspects of me and my life. A fatherly energy that has also been a mate to parts of me, drawing men he can criticize and find ways to “keep out”, and the same goes for female connections too, no matter how porous. Essentially his job has been keeping love out instead of letting it flow inward and outward as its meant to and wants to, letting go more and more of control and fear-based frequencies, letting go of expecting a battle to ensue with just about everyone on some level and allowing my inner Queen, my soft and supple yet strong inner feminine, to rise….

This is a part of me and not a part of me, too… he feels more energetic than solid as our subpersonalities/parts normally are. He is a layer of my loyal inner protector as a woman. He has helped me through so much, been a genuine knight assigned to protect my inner Queen until she is strong enough to BE on her own. He has shown up consistently and gallantly, well-beyond his call of duty. Now is the time to help him rest more and more and the only way I can truly offer him that, is to feel him every chance I get… as luck (and LOVE!) would have it, I have plenty of “grist”, as we say in SoulFullHeart in which to feel him – opportunities and situations in my life where he shows up more and I can feel him doing so. I even feel him now as I write this, editing my words, spelling and grammar a bit as I go, wanting to help me bridge this experience for YOU, whether or not you too are a woman, for men have this too. It’s a wounded masculine expression, formed in response to the pervasive wounded masculine in different timelines of our current and ever-evolving, ascending world. He says this and also offers that it is truly gutsy, deeply courageous, to question these edges these protectors provide for us… to ask them to let our vulnerability BE and shine, to let love in and show a trust in love that they don’t often have or feel unless we can help them find it again.

The hardest part of differentiating from this protector energy inside of us, is recognizing when and how it shows up. It so often has BEEN us for our whole lives up to now, and we have been convinced that this is really all there is to us in some ways (and this part has felt this about themselves). We are led to feel that what we are doing is inhabiting true man and womanhood, yet this is based so much on our often very limited and deeply wounded templating passed down from generations in our birth cultures and birth families and hasn’t yet been questioned. One of the biggest signs of any awakening on any level is starting to ask these and ANY questions like, “is this is really what I’ve been called to live as/like?”, “is this really me?”, “is this really all there is?”

The waves of movements and illuminations come into our BEing the more we open to receive them, in this process of softening and growing and relearning, in this process of getting to know our parts and uncovering our truest selves. Edges and spikes soften, reactions are challenged and soothed, fires are given fireplaces, and our hearts fill up with more and more love that was forbidden to come into us for so long.

Jelelle Awen and I are holding and hosting a group call for women this coming Saturday, where you can be supported by our energy and the yin already baking and waking inside of you. Here is the link to find out more: https://www.facebook.com/events/1083484598423538/

Our last group call for women was this past month, and Jelelle led us through a meditation to meet our inner protectors. You can listen to the recording of the teachings and meditation from that call here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vNPCtTQ9O-E

And, Jelelle and I offer you ongoing support in service of the LOVE that you ARE through space holding sessions, should you feel called to explore more of what I’m sharing here today and how it shows up in your own BEing and life. More information on that is here: http://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/soulfullheartwoman

***

Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, writer, and poetess. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

BEing with your inner masculine to arise your feminine: Message From Magdalena

By Jelelle Awen with Magdalena

 

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We are sitting on a beach, Magdalena and I……a Golden Earth 5D frequency feeling beach with golden hues and tones around us, golden sparkly everything around and through and AS us. Magdalena is the high vibrational frequency aspect of Mary Magdalene; She feels like an archangel offering a template of our inner queen; the feminine aspect of the inner union.

She offers a caressing energy to us, like the water that nudges gently at our toes and then recedes again. She can crash too like the waves, stirring up our deepest desires even as She invites us into the stillness frequencies of our inner feminine core. I feel gratitude for Her templating of what it CAN BE and IS to embody our sacred femininity.

This is the message from Her today, for this NOW moment during this transition into New Golden Earth for our inner feminine and our inner masculine to take in and receive, to resonate in the ways it is meant to and can…… :

You are BEing. You are a BEing who is BEing. This is your natural frequency, your home. You do not need to ‘return’ to this as you already ARE this.

Your doing arises from this BEing base. It activates from the swell of this pool yet doesn’t really move in another way but rather ARISES in response. You cannot know the difference I am speaking of here; you can only experience it; you can only BEcome it.

Your questions of ‘how?’ related to the manifestation of your deepest desires are meant to arise from this BEing place. Doing wants to answer this question of how, yet it cannot. Doing can only come up with more questions! Only BEing can answer this how question as it DRAWS the answers to respond to and receive.

It is in RECEIVING that the ‘hows’ happen. Receiving the gifts that come from your BEing, from your going within, from your connecting to your soul purpose as BEing service of love. Receiving the love that comes from your BEing-ness as it undulates out in a high frequency broadband signal for all those souls tuned into it to feel and hear and respond to it.

BEing receptive can only come from this BEing home frequency. If you are outward so often, if you are seeking and searching….your capacity to RECEIVE what wants to come to  you is blocked by this energy of going out so often.

Parts of you (your precious male guardian and protectors especially) want to provide what you want to you. They want to seek and gather it so that your deepest yin desires can be met. Yet, their energy of guardedness and protectiveness can only draw the same back again on some level.

BE with these male guardian aspects and your inner matriarch (who is more masculine too.) BE with them in love, with your stillness, offer them this BEing of love to sooth their edges out, to relax them, to allow them breathing and rest from doing anything at all. I, Magdalena, can help with this if you call on me and especially if your inner guardian calls on me as he and I are connected already even though he has probably forgotten this connection. Jelelle, too in her service of love through SoulFullHeart and her Beloveds who offer this, can help with this inner connection process to allow more BEing.

As your inner guardians rest, so your BEing has more room and space to arise, to receive, and to respond as the service of love energy that you ARE. As you are open to feeling your inner guardians, to really LOVING them with all your heart as you would a BEloved mate, so then do their energies BEcome BEloved, cherished, respected, and adored. Their energies become cherishing, respecting, and adoring WITH you as the inner mating happens. THIS is what your inner guardian has really always wanted…to feel this way WITH you rather than ALWAYS being concerned about your safety and if you will be hurt again or not and if he has been protecting you well enough or not.

As you love this masculine within you, as you are patient with this process because it is not a ‘how’ and there is no time limit or deadline on it……then so do you have more access to your BEingness. It is by BEing with that which is NOT BEing that you can then receive MORE and respond MORE As BEing….this makes heart sense, yes?

Love this masculine inside as your BEing wraps around him and so, on a quantum level, you are healing the wounded masculine, the overly protective masculine, in the collective too. As you ARE your BEingness more and more, so you BEcome a BEacon of possibility to ALL women too that they can BEcome this too!

I love YOU so MUCH as you ARE in this moment and for what you will BEcome more and more too as you arise into your BEingness! Please call on me as you need to as I am HERE to serve love with you and I AM you too!

Yours IN love, Magdalena

~

I’ll be teaching more about this, connecting this process with the work I (and Kalayna Colibri for women under 30) offer to women during SoulFullHeart sessions, leading a guided meditation to connect with Divine Feminine energies such as Magdalena and your inner protector during a woman’s call this Saturday, May 20th if you’d like to join your BEing with ours!:https://www.facebook.com/events/1083484598423538/

~

Jelelle Awen is an emoto-spiritual teacher, sacred feminine and union facilitator, soul scribe, waySHOWer, galactic love ambassador, and co-creator and teacher of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. She is author of  Keep Waking Up! Awakening Journeys To Avalon And Beyond and an upcoming book, Sacred Human, Arising Wonder. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

The Loving Room: Entering The Doorway

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Painting by Josephine Wall

Graphic created by Gabriel Heartman

 

by Kalayna Colibri

You wander down a corridor, doors on either side, some with much space in between them, others not. Some are painted in beiges and browns, some have psychedelic colours, others look and feel like rainbows and light… then one catches your eye just as you begin to pass it by.

You immediately stop and turn on your heels to head back towards it, not sure why you’re compelled by it all of a sudden, but it doesn’t matter to you in that moment. The aura of the door feels warm and you get the sense that someone on the other side might want to embrace you… your logical mind tries to grasp at how this could be possible, yet it begins to let go in almost the same breath, sensing it might have a place to rest in this room. Your hand reaches out to turn the golden knob, only to realize that the door is no longer solid. You step through it, as your mind begins to loosen more.

Now inside, you see that the ceiling is gone and there is only a sky with clouds, dancing themselves into different forms and patterns, some of which you recognize, others you don’t. There seems to be layers to this “sky” you see above you, and in fact, this room seems to have layers too somehow, or at least you can sense it does. You also see some lush sofas, comfy chaise lounges, luxurious hammocks, friendly plants and you hear music playing softly in the background now, a welcoming sound that doesn’t have its usual form or patterns, but it has frequencies that somehow send waves of HUM through your body and the energetic field around your body too.

You take this in for a few moments, feeling the fresh air and beaming sunlight. It’s not a room, yet it IS a room too somehow. And as your mind continues loosening, the need to make “sense” of this dissolves in spite of you. A feeling that you’re “home” washes through and over you. A feeling you haven’t really felt before, except maybe as a very young child, and yet it feels like something you experienced at another time and place too, not in this life you have been living as “you”.

As you walk around the room a bit, you see that there is no clock to track “time” as there would be in most rooms you’ve experienced.

On a wall of vines, next to a majestic tree, you see a large mirror, taller and wider than you are, leaning yet stable. Its framing looks and feels ancient, with filigree and rosettes. As you gaze at the self reflected inside of it, at first you see features and colours that you recognize as “you”. This feels to last but a moment before something shifts and suddenly you seem to be seeing yourself from a very strange angle, yet the mirror itself hasn’t moved! This angle is awkward, showing you parts of your body you’ve avoided looking at at times and it seems you can also see your shadow appear – first above and behind your shoulder, then also near your neck on the opposite side, down near your hands, beside your leg, and close to your feet. Your shadow moves suddenly and seems to cover you, accentuating the angle you’ve already decided you don’t like seeing… yet you stay there, in front of the mirror, compelled to see more, to feel more, to get to know more.

“Why?” part of you asks, “why now? Why do I have to see myself this way?”

As tears fall, you begin to realize what’s happening. You turn away from the mirror and lay down on a sofa as you continue to cry. You feel something rise up from within and without you, holding you as this happens. It is the embrace you were drawn to on the other side of the door, the reason why you stepped into this room in the first place. You collapse more into the tears as memories come in. You are surprised at how you don’t feel overwhelmed by this and that you’ve actually been wanting and needing this release for so long…

As the tears fade, you continue to feel the comfort of that embrace. You feel stronger than before. A smile spreads across your face and a lightness you haven’t known since you were a child fills your being. Your heart feels a bit raw, but the healing balm of this lightness and joy help to hold and soothe it.

You don’t really want to leave this room, yet you sense that now that you’ve been here, it will be with you always, and you can always return to it whenever you want or feel called to. As you pass through the door, you realize that the memory of what happened here will always be with you and the embrace you felt is bound to change you forever.

Welcome to the Loving Room. ❤

 

***

Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, writer, and poetess. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

 

 

The Pearls Of You On The Other Side Of Feeling

By Jelelle Awen

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The heart cries that are underneath the explanations and the justifications…..THESE cries call you to respond beyond what your mind can make sense of or explain away. These heart cries don’t go away as they aren’t meant to and CAN’T until they are felt and loved and connected with directly, until they are digested directly, until they are LISTENED to.

Having buried these heart cries far away, it can seem like you are recovered and even ‘moved on’. Yet, still, the undigested cries show up in physical hurts and illnesses, can’t sleep patterns and emotions of depression, anxiety, rage, tension, flat. Or relationships that are strained, toxic, abusive even, or just don’t offer the heart, soul, body, and mind grounds that you deserve and want. OR they show up in parts of you in HYPER energy, pushing out, covering up, staying VERY busy and full, going strong and using soul frequencies to frame it all in a positive way, avoiding feeling.

Oh, this is NOT an easy thing….to dive into places where parts of you would rather not go. Yet, you are diving in to discover the treasures that live there in the shadows….to release and integrate eventually. To offer your heart cries the compassion of your presence so that the tears can TRULY dry up and the cries can be silenced….

This is NOT easy, yet the rewards of your diving in, going in, feeling IN are the collection of the pearls of your deepest vulnerabilities, your most precious sensitivities, your suppressed desires….coming to light again, coming in the glow of your love again, coming UP again to be worn by YOU with gratitude as you arise into something NEW on the other side of feeling.

~

Jelelle Awen is an emoto-spiritual teacher, sacred feminine and union facilitator, soul scribe, waySHOWer, galactic love ambassador, and co-creator and teacher of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. She is author of  Keep Waking Up! Awakening Journeys To Avalon And Beyond and an upcoming book,Sacred Human, Arising Wonder. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

To The Part Of YOU Who Suffers: From Your Higher/Sacred Human Self

By Jelelle Awen

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I see your suffering. I see how it makes the colors of life seem stripped down to black and white tones. I see the world you live in of bare trees and empty lands and deep valleys. I see your dark night and the rains coming down.

I feel how your suffering weighs at you, anchors you with a near constant ebb of bleakness and despair. I feel how THIS pain is what you have known most of your life and so it is familiar, comforting even. I feel how it is what you have become, even though it is not what you actually ARE.

I see and I feel your suffering and I understand the reasons and whys for it. I understand how our soul has passed down experiences from other lifetimes, from our soul legacy group/Metasoul, the experiences that have come to define you in this way.

I want to offer you a NEW sense of life beyond the suffering and beyond what you have known of it. A life that looks like techno-color landscapes, rich and lush and nourishing. A life that looks like open and bright vistas of sunny possibilities. A life that looks like clear emotional forecasts for days and days.

I want to offer you a NEW feeling of life where there is more LOVE than there is pain, where love can hold the space for the pain and help it move. I feel how your energy could be freed up if you were putting it into joy, into creativity, into soul purpose, into sacred union, into service of love.

I want to offer you a life WITH me there to guide you, to be with you, and to feel you. A life where you don’t have to be alone in your pain but in the company of my steady heart presence where it can FINALLY be released. A life where we can come together more and more, eventually toward integration, in a reality where your suffering becomes replaced by love more and more!

~

This energy from YOU to the part of you that suffers, this invitation for this part of you to heal and release and lean into you can create a very new reality INside as more separation from BECOMING the pain happens. This creates metaspace inside of you from your suffering as you see and feel how it is ONLY part of you that holds it, not that YOU ARE it. Rather than trying to resist the suffering or numbing it with very many things, you can embrace it, yet still be objective from it.

In my life, this tone of suffering manifested as depression and a sense of underlying despair about life. Connecting directly with the part of me that held this energy (and there were more than one actually over the years!), I could feel the roots of it from childhood, from when I was a teenager, and as an adult living in 3D reality. And I felt how it connected to soul frequencies at an existential level. I have not experienced this sense of depression for many years now as the energy that held it has transmuted and integrated into mostly creative expression to serve love (which is often at the root of the depression, hence the ‘suicidal’ artist).

This is a magical method for self healing! We explore this ground in SoulFullHeart sessions if you are drawn to learn more and experience it for yourself and the awakening, clarities, transformation and REAL LIFE changes that come as a result of this process: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions. Here is more about parts work process: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/parts

~

Jelelle Awen is an emoto-spiritual teacher, sacred feminine and union facilitator, soul scribe, waySHOWer, galactic love ambassador, and co-creator and teacher of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. She is author of  Keep Waking Up! Awakening Journeys To Avalon And Beyond and an upcoming book,Sacred Human, Arising Wonder. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Your Own Love Shack Seeds Sacred Exploration

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Walking the tender ground of exploring sacred union is ultimately a journey to Self.  It is opening the inner vaults of our deepest and most fragile places.  Seeing and feeling things that we have hidden both in our bigness and our not-so-bigness.  It is taking responsibility for our own personal vulnerabilities and landing them within ourselves first and then to our partner in this dance.

The gift of our inner work assists this ebb and flow of excitement and fear.  We have a container that we have etched out for ourselves to be with all the energies and emotions that arise in each moment.  But no matter the amount of previous inner processing, the grist of one-to-one romantic relationality accentuates things about ourselves we may have known, and new ones that pop there heads out when divine timing helps it along.

Beyond ourselves though also lies an experience of other that reflects so much about who and what we are.  That is awesome and scary shit!  What does love what us to see about ourselves through the heart eyes of another?  There is a treasure of trove of goodies to unearth and experience.  The only ‘success’ that is to be found in this exploration is how much were you willing to feel, be real, and let IN.  

This is where our own personal Love Shack comes in.  This is created by meeting and feeling all the parts of ourselves that hold fears, resistances, and despair around love itself.  We go into that Love Shack with the intention of healing our blocks to experiencing the kind of love we were all meant to experience from withIN, to be overflowed and then received back again in ecstatic communion.  As long as the fire in your Love Shack continues to burn and shine, the outcome of any exploration into union is all a part of the path back to Self that never really started and never ends.  

I look forward to digesting more of my exploration as the time feels right.  For now it resides in my own personal space of digestion and experience.  There is a journey to this mate ache that occurs prior to this emerging exploration and I offer my heart to those men that are feeling the rumblings of wanting to come out of romantic hibernation and set the sails toward claiming their own desire for union, or reunion, with their Queen.  It is a very sacred process and one that is held with reverence and compassion.  
Please join us for a group call this saturday, May 13th at 11:11amCST with Raphael and I exploring this ground of sacred union through teachings, a guided meditation (to connect with your sacred feminine and masculine frequencies within and with the higher self of your sacred union mate), and individual sharings: https://www.facebook.com/events/1320873934656373/orsoulfullheartwayoflife.com/groupcalls

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual teacher, men’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Rushing Heart, Patient Soul, Aching Body

by Kalayna Colibri

sacred-sex

 

Hurry, soulmate, hurry here…

Though the rush is only in my heart

and my soul that knows no waiting, says,

 

“Meet me in this place as soon as life readies you,

and the ripening of old personas prepares them to fall away,

baring only the branches of your truest self

standing naked as an apple tree in winter…”

 

I remember you as I remember me.

I feel the lifetimes of scarcely feeling one another

yet knowing each other just the same,

though fears and avoidance called us apart

in geography and deeper claim

of everything we wanted to have…

 

I’m not missing you this time around, love.

My dance continues as you gaze in the windows

with your higher self at the helm of your dreamworld.

…it’s not a dream though.

Everything you see, feel, touch, taste, smell

is me

is us

is what we’re here to have and create together…

 

I will NOT miss you this round, love!

You will know my lavender call and rose-light glow

of timeless age and accustomed wisdoms

bringing in love-dance energies,

calling out your realest name…

 

Our bodies will know the exploration

of the deepest caverns among flourishing wild flowers.

My femininity longs for the touch

of a masculinity found through the yin of him…

the feeling-space container of a long unbidden love force

now unleashed and unbound.

 

I won’t remain un-found by your searchlight

streaming outward

reaching into the places inside my honeycomb tresses

and vines of sacred unity.

 

We will speak of it all, love!

Of those things we’ve tried and tested

and consciousnesses that have bested us

so far.

It’s a strapping down into a straight-up bolt

of lightning fire creator gifts

launching our ways into the worlds of now

and the expeditions of all kinds

inside these places we have still to rediscover.

 

I’ll lie awake and think of this, love!

Only this.

Even as I serve and move forward and bring it all back inward.

In these dark nights on my own

and yet not alone.

With the firm grasp of imaginings dawning and breaking

upon the body, heart and soul

that waits and creates for you…

to bumble out a careening new way

WITH you

inside US

and into this endless upward thrust

of upending, ascending existence! ❤

 

***

Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, writer, and poetess. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Mate Ache, Self Ache: Finding The Sacred Union Overflow Inside

by Kalayna Colibri

love flow

As powerful light waves and ascension boosts cascade upon us, this seems to bring up so much ache at times (which some may be surprised by since it has been so covered over for so long) for a mate to share the experience with. There is a growing feeling inside me, of how my heart wants to dance in a picture of the bond I’m waiting for, looking for, aching for, baking for… working for inside myself. As this desire lights me up, I’m reminded to not leave a single stone un-turned, as anyone who pops up on my radar could be the soul and heart I’ve been waiting for.

It feels like sometimes we miss each other… like maybe we tend to walk right by, or “scroll” right by on the internet. We don’t realize that the person grabbing our attention right away may not actually be the one we’re deeply searching and preparing for. Physicality and geography can be big reasons why they evade our inner search engines, as parts of us keep looking for very specific criteria that often no human being could really live into. It doesn’t feel like this is about these criteria though, so much as about resisting relationship, messiness and the mirror it all wants to offer us for our next growth edges. There is so much to be learned on this path of mate desire and so many patterns that become illuminated, and every single bond that arises gives us the opportunity to see and feel ourselves that much deeper.

This is where the ache that we feel for an other to come in and be in a romantic bond with us can really be turned inward instead… which is often the harder mate to be with, for those of us who have parts that resist even that (as I’ve felt in myself during my own process)! Yet the way to be with ourselves is so the way we then can be with others. It’s actually a very powerful practice ground for relationships of all kinds, as we learn to feel ourselves more deeply and also feel more drawn to ourselves as we heal, enjoying time spent with our own hearts and souls. THIS is the overflow place, and the nest that needs the most clearing out and sprucing up in preparation for THE mate to come in… it is the process I embrace and have embraced for a long time now, and something I treasure that’s really blossoming inside me more and more these days. A sincere readiness is arising to let someone else in while I’m also continuing to let MYSELF in… and wow, is THAT ever a lot sometimes! Especially with personal growth continuing and along with that, some strong shifts in what it is I feel I most want in life.

The ache for self is a sincere ache, and one that may actually be more powerfully alive inside you than you now realize consciously. There are parts in there, longing for your love and attention and looking for it outside of you instead, reaching for an energy, a love, that you are meant to cultivate within… placing this need on the outside and asking a partner or friend to be this healing force for you can strain any relationship and can even cause underground resentment as the transaction ground runs out. I’ve been in several bonds that seemed to head in this direction and without enough me there to hold my own ground with my own parts, the ground of these relationships eventually collapsed. This happened in both directions, it feels like… I wasn’t holding myself and he wasn’t holding his. The ache for yourself can only really be answered by you. It is a sovereign, fertile ground for a stunning garden of self-love and reverence to grow and grow and GROW… and life and the relationships you have now WILL mirror this for you, wanting you to see it, for the benefit, first and foremost, of your own heart and soul growth and expansion that then gets to lead and be in intimacy with others AND a mate.

My own ache for myself is now being answered by an arising me that is consciously healing and stepping more and more into service of others. It is what will overflow to a mate soon, as he comes forward and steps into this healing path with me. It is what’s possible for all of us as we earnestly find our way into the caverns inside of us, shining lights in those long-forgotten crevices that still ask for our help.  It is an ache that is meant to be felt and quelled and satisfied as well as a power-filled first step into the oncoming stream of outer mateship possibilities that want to reach us and help this cultivated love flow onward, onward, onward…

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Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, writer, and poetess. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

 

 

 

Come WITH Me, My Love

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Come with me, my love
Down the spiral staircase of my heart
Into the garden of my humanity
Bear witness to it succulence
It´s uniqueness
It´s burned and broken places
Come with me, my queen
Along the paths of weathered words
And the trails of new beginnings
Water the wilted with your loving care
Ignite the growth with your fiery passion
Will you follow me into the unknown?
Into the cauldron of our being?
Will you dance with me among the golden lilies
As well as the prickly cactus and forest ablaze?
Will you join with me in the exploration of our sacred sexuality?
The slow caress of my hands
Upon your beautifully sculpted, divinely feminine curves
The electric sparks that leap off our tongues
Setting fire to our chakras one by one.
When we reach the gateway of our heavenly union
Will you come with me?
May I come into you?
Into your atmosphere where you shine and fly?
Into your hidden and protected caverns?
The places where few have been allowed to tread
Into your luscious and sacred garden?
I will not pluck your flowers
Or step on your sprawling vines
I will sit patiently for you to join me.
To share with me you tales
Your stories of adventure
….of agony
….of strength
….and weakness
I will etch them into my heart
Weave them into the tapestry of us
Though they belong to you and you alone
They share a sacred place in between you and me
Come with me, by beloved
As far as we both were meant to go
To unravel the mystery of who we were meant to be

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual teacher, men’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.