Tag: Raphael Awen

Being With Anxiety During Life Transitions

Published on by Raphael Awen2 Comments

By Raphael Awen

After a total crash day of doing almost nothing physically, rest, rest, rest, some tears of longing under a despair of aching for 3D to shift some more in our collective and within my reality inside of that, I was able to feel very held, loved and supported.

With just two weeks and a bit left of our four year sojourn in Mexico, both Jelelle and I, and Raianna are feeling quite done with Mexico. Much of the previous appeal has lost its charm as the universes ‘prickly nest’ push into new timelines leads the way. Like a pregnant mother in her final stages of pregnancy, it’s not all easy or comfortable. We’re feeling not quite here and not quite there at the same time.

These times of transition with less routine are a precious time to feel yourself and parts of you. I’ve made it my practice and joy to deeply ‘go in’, in any time of transition or change.

Day before yesterday, I tallied the numbers of our Canada budget and had some reaction of anxiety about the money. It felt like a fraction of what I’ve ever felt in times past around money, yet, it was still there, a kind of shutdown inside that I had to give space to move through and feel. It’s interesting too, that these much smaller reactions than the ones I’ve known in times past are some offset by the fact that I feel way more sensitive to my emotional body, so in another way, they feel almost as big in the moment. They certainly feel big enough to call my attention and heart and feel what parts of me or in my Metasoul are wanting and asking for to be felt.

Interesting too, with that signature feeling of anxiety about money pushed up into my feeling space, I was easily able to time travel back to the me in times past, who lived and fueled my life with the anxiety about money. It feels real to me that we can change our lives in the present by going back in time to give love and heart presence to the parts of ourselves that felt trapped in an all too real reality where anxiety (or any other prominent suffering) was the order of the day. When a part of us from our past gets to shift their reality, that creates a waveform that flows into our present.

Last night, I had a dream, a full on night dream, where a woman told me she had a check for us in the amount of $50,000 dollars. At a time when 500 dollars would make a big difference and one thousand would be huge, $50,000 feels like a really strange reality to live into. I so can feel that our collective current relationship to money and anxiety about money is only a reality because of what connection it always was meant to lead us to inside of ourselves. Were it not for an anxiety or a depression, we wouldn’t desire and long for the heaven we are returning to and expanding into. I can feel a new timeline reality emerging for all of us, where money focus and scarcity just isn’t part of our waking consciousness. I’ve made big strides into this new world already of feeling free from the constraints of money pressures, of feeling free to pursue my dreams, but there is a ways to go here yet that calls to me.

You may very much be feeling a call to step into deep changes in your life; decision points about relationships, jobs, careers, bankruptcy possibly, that to a part of you, feel like stepping off a cliff. Yet, you know, you are being invited into deep change. I deeply believe that when we can proactively let these present forms of our life go through the metamorphosis that the universe is bringing to us, by choosing the ripe change timeline, we spare ourselves the trauma and shock of having life implode and explode change into our lives. In other words, we decide (or we don’t) on whether we play victim to change, or whether we consciously lead and live into the changes. Doing this healthily involves feeling the parts of ourselves in their reactions to the potential choices and changes. Simply feeling these parts of ourselves is the magic that lets in the new reality that wants to come into our awareness and reality.

This lived in and experienced reality is then what provides the courage and direction for the next step.

If you’re up for this; congratulations! You’ve just returned to the land of the advent of your adventurous self reaping the fullest benefits of what you came here to feel and manifest.

Raphael Awen
Soulfullheartwayoflife.Com/bridging-session

The Gifts Of A Scathing Email From A Former Friend

Published on by Raphael AwenLeave a comment

By Raphael Awen

I received news of quite a scathing email today from an old friend of who I hadn’t spoken with in over 14 years. He blasted me for disowning my daughters, amongst other things. I chose not to read the email as it didn’t have any tones of care or respect, but I did let the contact from this friend and some of his energy land in my heart for some up-to-date digestion.

Kelvin (not his real name) and I met in church life, where we and our young families were a part of the leadership team. His family and mine enjoyed a magical missions experience living and traveling together for three months in remote places in the Philippines. We shared similar kinds of livelihoods as independent contractors and I learned many skills and trades by working alongside Kelvin. Kelvin had a hidden side that was becoming not so hidden as part of him said ‘fuck the hiding’ and his world began to rumble when he eventually openly admitted to being gay, and admitted to being abusive to his wife. His wife asked my help and a few other friends to assist her to pack up and leave their home on a 3 hour stealth mission when Kelvin was away one evening. Kelvin was broken to somewhere deep in his core and the next morning, he was at my door, knowing I was one of the people who had helped his wife make an escape. I was prepared for an attempt at a punch in the face, but was surprised when he simply said ‘Thank you for helping Carol, it was the right thing to do.’

Kelvin and I’s relationship went through several contexts, and nearing the end of our relationship, I perceived him to be distant and unreachable, so painfully similar to all the male friendships in my life. Now, I can see that this distance and unreachability had to do with a distance and unreachability inside of myself, that the universe was reflecting to me in my relationship with all of my male friends. I co-created that reality and the suffering patterns.

I consciously longed for male intimacy, knowing it had to do with my own father’s emotional distance, but still suffering with feeling on the outside of being unable to deeply connect with any of my male friends, all of whom had been in my life for many years and through many changes. In 2005, after thinning out more and more of my Christian faith, I realized that the last pillar of my faith was about to implode, and after that, I couldn’t call myself a Christian any longer. I no longer held Jesus as my personal saviour. I was withdrawing the confession of my faith, or ‘renouncing my Christianity’, you could say. I simply stated quietly to those closest to me, that I no longer held Jesus as my personal saviour, and this was an earthquake that none of my personal social life could sustain. My relationships with my wife and daughters all entered a surprising and sudden completion of the old, not knowing what may or may not arise in any new context.

Strangely though, Kelvin and I’s relationship had been quiet for some time and when we did meet one last time, it was post to my Christianity and with Kelvin living in an openly gay lifestyle, each of us had again a resonance on one level with being outside of the worlds we once knew and treasured, each for our own reasons. I shared some of my new found beliefs and values with Kelvin, but felt a distinct disinterest in him beyond a polite listening. Part of me so wanted to be done with any of the male tugging for intimacy patterns that were all too present in my (by now mostly absent) relationships with men. We never spoke again and it felt like it had just run out of gas; complete in what the transactable relationship was meant to bring us.

Strange though to fast forward 13 years and receive a blast of anger from Kelvin. I so see now that anyone from our past that we no longer have transaction with, we can’t actually be outside of relationship with, on a higher level that is. All of us are far too connected and are actually ‘all-one’, rather than ‘alone’ though our perceptions of things may beg to differ. What was striking to me was that it was also just this week that I wrote of breaking through some lifelong and significant barriers in my relationships with men in my deep friendship with Gabriel Heartman and our now 6 years of intense heart, soul and geographical journey together. I can so feel how me breaking a barrier inside of myself where my male relationship patterns are concerned that then ripples out into the Metasoul and Metasouls that we share, and we unmistakably ping on each others radar.

Part of Kelvin appears to be pissed that I broke the codes we shared, committed ourselves to, and suffered within. I believe I went on to begin to grasp the real prize that we are all in search of – really coming home to oneself inside of our own hearts and then finding that naturally mirror itself out into new relationship patterns with others.

I feel the sacred gift of the times and memories we shared, and what it brought us to and what it brought us through. I feel the sacred gift too even of the scathing email, that again offers me a digestion point of my own journey and what I am being invited into – internally and externally. One also needs some ‘before and after’ pictures to take in how much one has shifted their reality, to hold any wakes needed to shed any residual tears that parts of us may still hold and need to digest. We are all players in each others movies, inextricably linked. When one finds gold, we all find gold, and invite others into the undeniable newness that belongs to the all, and can be leased by any one willing to own it as a steward.

What is unmistakably shaking down or apart in your world? How does this correspond to an inner shaking/completion? What digestions are parts of you needing to have to be able to move on healthily without suppression? What heart knowing do you have with these parts? What would you be willing to pay to purchase this field in which you unmistakably discovered this pearl of great price?

Raphael Awen
http://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/bridging-session

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.  Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc. Visit our donations page to offer a monthly or one time money donation to support our offerings.

Healing The Feelings Of Abandonment: SoulFullHeart Weekly Museletter (Sept 17, 2018)

Published on by Kasha Rosa1 Comment

It’s the release of our weekly Museletter! Offering ALL of our writings, videos, events, healing offerings, and audio blogs for the week. Go read it here!

This week’s Museletter features a piece by Jelelle Awen, where she shares about her personal connection with Star Family and the healing this has offered her. She invites you to feel the textures of your precious Star Seed aspect that has been needing this connection with Star Family and has many gifts to offer you with regard to your Ascension process:

“Our Star Seed aspect is an awakening inner child that can unanchor from 3D as their traumas are processed and a galactic awakening occurs….an innocence and purity lives in the heart of this part of us. They are so often in deep longing and loneliness to feel their star siblings again, to feel the wonder and magic of multidimensional and porous relationship to life that this galactic union offers. Processing undigested trauma/terror from what they felt as ‘abductions’, which were actually visits with star family, they can arise into becoming the magical fuel for our Merkabahs or light body vehicles.”

There is a new live stream event coming up tomorrow, September 22, with Raphael and Jelelle Awen. They will be digesting the Autumnal Equinox and the energies incoming through this event. They will also be offering a guided meditation for you to tune into as you tune into yourself. You can check out this live stream on Jelelle Awen’s Facebook feed at 11am CDT.

There are many writings and audio blog offerings this week from Jelelle, Raphael, Kalayna, Gabriel, and Raianna. They include energy updates, personal process sharings and realizations, and ways in which to see, feel and celebrate your personal process right now, as challenging as it may be lately.

Raphael, Jelelle and Gabriel offer 1:1 90min Bridging Sessions to help boost and digest your Ascension process and feel with you what your next steps are towards your highest timeline possibilities. These sessions are available for $77 USD min. donation per session. More information can be found here: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/bridging-session

We love to share our offerings with you and would enjoy receiving whatever heart donation in the form of money you feel that resonates with our offerings. You can go to our donation page for more info on how to donate: http://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/donations

Thank you so much for your interest in and support of SoulFullHeart Way of Life! If you’d like to receive these Museletters directly and automatically in your email every week, you can subscribe on our website at: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/writingmuseletters

Check out the latest Museletter here.

 

 

 

 

Preparing For Multidimensional Travel

Published on by Raphael AwenLeave a comment

By Raphael Awen

For the person who’s never travelled outside of their home country, it can feel like a kind of cognitive dissonance to consider what life would be like to travel to other countries.

Likewise for those of us who haven’t (consciously at least) visited other planets or met beings from other planets, we’re kind of left wrestling with a similar kind of cognitive dissonance where entering these new domains are concerned.

I’ve been to lots of other countries and have spent a lot of time away from what I was oriented to as home. I haven’t yet crossed the rubicon of direct, physical kind of experience with other planets and the beings who reside there.

I’ve signed up for the galactic geography and sociology classes though. My appetite is growing and the awareness is increasing daily that my Gaia/earth familiarity is a very limited awareness of life and the universe. I’m about to leave the family farm and I’m not quite sure what to pack, or how the travel ports of departure and destination work. I’m willing to not-know my way to knowing.

I will be irreversibly changed at these points of experience. So will all of us. Is your appetite preparing you for what is coming and even upon us now?

My god, so many are going to be wearing that incredulous look on their faces of ‘how could I have ever bought into the notion that we are the only planet with so-called ‘intelligent’ life?’

Raphael Awen
Soulfullheartwayoflife.Com/bridging-session

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.  Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc. Visit our donations page to offer a monthly or one time money donation to support our offerings.

A MANdate For New Earth Now

Published on by Gabriel Heartman1 Comment

Last night my friend, heart shaman, and MANtor (mentor as a man) Raphael Awen and I enjoyed a night out together for the first time in a while. It was a time we intended to connect with each other in a deeper way beyond the ‘doings’ of our busy lives as we all engage in our next journeys separate, yet together in heart.

It is easy for parts of all of us to normalize relationship to some degree and not take a moment to just be in the goodness of what is, what was, and what we intend to be more of. This also feels to be a challenge for men especially. Taking sacred time with each other in honor and gratitude, or even much-needed truth-telling, wherever that truth is coming from or needs to lead.

Raphael and I took in the goodness of our surroundings, our own usness outside our personal romances with our beloved mates, and our history together as friends and co-conspirators of this starship we call SoulFullHeart. It was a tender moment to feel all that we have been through together in our history and especially here in Mexico. We could feel how unique our bond is as men and to feel how we have had the shades drawn a bit on our own desire for other men to be a part of a larger roundtable of heart and soul kings.

So we took the intentional space to let go of what was, honor it deeply, and open our hearts to more. More real, more galactic, more men, and more More, whatever that turns out to be. It was another layer of deep healing between two men that seek to offer it to other men in search of the same. It felt personal, global, and galactic. All that was missing was the cigarette. (Yup…I said that.)

Raphael and I both open our heart and soul journeys to men and women alike who feel resonate (and even those who may not fully) to explore their own inner world, this one and beyond. To take steps to heal and inhabit the practical, emotional, and spiritual steps to enter into a new relationship with self, other, and the universe at large. To open up your own personal disclosure project, click on the link below for more information.

Thank you for being a part of our living room. We look forward to more connection with you.

Gabriel Heartman and Raphael Awen
soulfullheartwayoflife.com/bridging-session

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our website to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife/donations.

Collapsing The Internal Tug Of War: SoulFullHeart Weekly Museletter (Sept 10, 2018)

Published on by Kasha RosaLeave a comment

It’s the release of our weekly Museletter! Offering ALL of our writings, videos, events, healing offerings, and audio blogs for the week. Go read it here!

“Is it at all a possibility that an anxious feeling or thought about the future is actually more to do with a fear of letting go of something familiar in the present, a kind of projection onto the future?” ~ Raphael Awen, ‘Collapsing The Internal Tug Of War’

Launching this week’s Museletter is a piece by Raphael Awen, inviting you to feel any fears, anxiety, or push-pull you may have coming up around changes happening in your life, as parts of you whose realities are valuable and important to feel. He poignantly offers:

“When we go in to simply feel each part’s reality, without trying to fix anything, we feel the part that wants to stay in one place forever and we feel the part who has already long left the building. When these parts of us feel the feelings of what it feels like to be felt by us, their reality and energy simply shifts. The internal tug of war collapses, and life and love are free to flow again.”

Raphael and Jelelle Awen offered another Ascension live stream and Q&A this week, for which the recording is available for you to take in. They offered their perspectives on the Ascension process, emotional body/soul healing through parts work, and working with Metasoul aspects from other timelines. They also co-led a guided meditation to connect with high vibe energies and your Inner Protector at around 40 minutes in.

There are many new writings and recordings offered this week by Raphael and Jelelle along with Gabriel Heartman and Kalayna Colibri. Feel their perspectives on different energies coming in now and ongoingly and ways to feel the new possibilities for your personal healing and Ascension process.

Raphael, Jelelle and Gabriel offer 1:1 90min Bridging Sessions to help boost and digest your Ascension process and feel with you what your next steps are towards your highest timeline possibilities. These sessions are available for $77 USD min. donation per session. More information can be found here: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/bridging-session

We love to share our offerings with you and would enjoy receiving whatever heart donation in the form of money you feel that resonates with our offerings. You can go to our donation page for more info on how to donate: http://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/donations

Thank you so much for your interest in and support of SoulFullHeart Way of Life! If you’d like to receive these Museletters directly and automatically in your email every week, you can subscribe on our website at: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/writingmuseletters

Check out the latest Museletter here.

Collapsing The Internal Tug Of War

Published on by Raphael Awen2 Comments

By Raphael Awen

Is it at all a possibility that an anxious feeling or thought about the future is actually more to do with a fear of letting go of something familiar in the present, a kind of projection onto the future?

If that feels true, then it’s up to you to go find the part of you that holds the fear of loss – feel their reality, as distinct from yours. Feel what they fear losing and why. Find the tears underneath the triggers. Now, a new and self loving new possibility is much more free to arise and flow into your energy, your reality, your ‘life’.

When we don’t feel parts of ourselves and their reality, we are left with a kind of flatlined waveform reality that we call our life, but in reality is an unaddressed tension of living immobilized between the tension and polarity of these parts of ourselves, each of them exerting strong energetic and emotional reality broadcasts across the screens of our lives.

When we go in to simply feel each part’s reality, without trying to fix anything, we feel the part that wants to stay in one place forever and we feel the part who has already long left the building. When these parts of us feel the feelings of what it feels like to be felt by us, their reality and energy simply shifts. The internal tug of war collapses, and life and love are free to flow again.

I’m feeling this for myself in a renewed way again as Jelelle and I are thirty some days away from moving ourselves and a few suitcases of belongings to Canada (Victoria, BC), leaving behind 4 years here in Mexico. The geography change is part of the shifts and changes of livelihood and passion-purpose expression in the world. Anxieties about money (which is really a form of love), or the community building that we feel drawn to do there (another form of love), are really more to do with a fear of having more; of feeling unprepared for that unknown and untried ‘more’, of not knowing how to navigate more – for a part of me, that is, who has become familiar with living in less in some form or another.

Here now, I get to see and feel how anxiety is not a limiting energy on the more that I and other parts of me consciously desire, but rather a portal, and a direct portal at that, to the gold my heart and soul longs for.

What if the anxiety, depression and the long list of other unwanted emotions we work hard to mask and avoid are really supergate portals to the new world, to new earth, Golden earth realities that our hearts and souls know is possible?

If that’s true, then it’s time to let go, (or begin to at least) of letting go of ways of life, spiritualities, relationships, that are really about numbing ourselves to our pain.

Many are finding to their surprise that between them and their trusted beloveds exists an unconscious, but ironclad non-disclosure agreement that states that if either of us break the code of disclosing our real pain to ourselves, to one another or to our world, that we agree to be banned forever from connection. It’s a device that a powerful part of us set in place and cocreated to ensure that we would stay safe and securely small.

What would it be to make new connections in relationship where something like the opposite was true; where people were only in relationship with you for the currency exchange of your realness and radical self-honesty and vulnerability?

We haven’t explored that reality yet very far as a collective consciousness, but I can tell you that I have explored it seriously as a single consciousness, with a small band of ‘others, and find it utterly expansive and a journey like no other. I invite you into this exploration of yourself if it calls to you. I can aid you in making light years of consciousness growth come alive in your world if this is something your heart and soul are ready to undertake.

Raphael Awen
Soulfullheartwayoflife.Com/bridging-session

Please check into the link above as a decision point of your next steps into life and love in the frequency I speak of today. Thank you for tracking me and my words.

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.  Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc. Visit our donations page to offer a monthly or one time money donation to support our offerings.

Introduction To The Parts Of Yourself And Soul: SoulFullHeart Weekly Museletter (Sept 3, 2018)

Published on by Kasha RosaLeave a comment

It’s the release of our weekly Museletter! Offering ALL of our writings, videos, events, healing offerings, and audio blogs for the week. Go read it here!

This week’s Museletter features a piece by Jelelle Awen, where she offers the perspective of connecting to different parts of you and invites you into a new reality of feeling them more specifically, even outside of sessions with SoulFullHeart. She describes the benefits of connecting to parts:

“Separation from these parts allows for a collaborative relationship to form. The original traumas and woundings happened in relationship and heal in relationship too. You become a loving, compassionate, and curious higher vibrational frequency of love that can rescue, save, feel, and BE with the parts of yourself and soul that most need you.”

There is a brand NEW guided meditation offering from Jelelle this week as well. A quick one that offers a way to clean and activate your chakras.

Many new articles and several new audio blogs this week from Jelelle, Raphael, Gabriel, and Kalayna. These include digestions of energy updates, feeling your life and your relationship to life, yourself, your parts, your desires, and ways to be with your emerging emotional reality.

Raphael, Jelelle and Gabriel offer 1:1 90min Bridging Sessions to help boost and digest your Ascension process and feel with you what your next steps are towards your highest timeline possibilities. These sessions are available for $77 USD min. donation per session. More information can be found here: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/bridging-session

We love to share our offerings with you and would enjoy receiving whatever heart donation in the form of money you feel that resonates with our offerings. You can go to our donation page for more info on how to donate: http://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/donations

Thank you so much for your interest in and support of SoulFullHeart Way of Life! If you’d like to receive these Museletters directly and automatically in your email every week, you can subscribe on our website at: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/writingmuseletters

Check out the latest Museletter here.

Power Of Creation Through Words

Published on by Raphael Awen2 Comments

By Raphael Awen

I’m feeling how our thoughts take on the power of our words.

The words that come off of our lips and tongue are literally a waveform of vibration that go on to manifest according to the seed of those words. The root word of The word ‘language’ is ‘lingua’, which roughly translated means ‘flapper’. Strangely, or maybe not so strangely, this same root word is present in the word, ‘lingham’ which is another waveform flapper that probes and beacons into the world to create new realities that didn’t exist before.

Both of these ‘flappers’ or waveform generators need the fertile ground of the feminine dance to actually create new worlds, but this feminine is the abundant ground of desire and feeling, that readily takes this sleepy power and alchemizes it into a waking reality, regardless of our awareness of it or not.

What all this means has something to do with the fact that you are creating a whole lot more than part of you has been willing to recognize. And what’s getting more intense, is that this subtle power has moved even more intensely not just to the creative power of our words, but also of our thoughts. Our words are seeded by our thoughts, and our thoughts arise from parts of ourselves and their reality.

What we are invited to feel is how our thoughts are all the waveform vibrations of specific parts of ourselves, that make up what we’ve thought of as ‘us’. You are a make up of parts and those parts each have a signature waveform vibration of relating to reality, and when you tune in this waveform, you give them the gift of feeling felt – a rich feeling of landing in a warm heart.

Now, this waveform vibration of thought is no longer just manifesting haphazardly and running amuck in our lives. We get to filter with the heart of our emerging Higher Self awareness each of these thought waveforms and love them, feel them, transmute them into new waveforms to manifest according to our Higher Heart.

What thoughts flowing through you are asking your attention and love?

Raphael Awen
soulfullheartwayoflife.com/bridging-session

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.  Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc. Visit our donations page to offer a monthly or one time money donation to support our offerings.

You Are The Law Of Attraction In Motion

Published on by Raphael Awen3 Comments

By Raphael Awen

The dawning realization that we are the creators of our own realities, leads us to accepting response-ability to and for that created world. It’s both a made up world and a very real world at the same time. (What reality is there that isn’t ‘made up’?)

Many people attempt to jump from this realization to the idea of creating the world that a part of them really wants, usually made up of externals like things or relationships that make them feel good – a seeking of a kind of medication to numb their deeper pain. The law of attraction teaching comes to mind. Good truth for sure, but in service of what, is my question?

What about instead seeing that your present reality is already been perfectly created by you and parts of you, very much including the things you, or parts of you, like or don’t like.

The law of attraction isn’t something any one of us needs to ‘get working’ in our lives. The law of attraction explains our lives. We are the law of attraction in motion.

‘Real’izing this, we get to accept response-ability for what we have created, rather than seek to use the law of attraction in an ill fated attempt to pave over what we have created.

In facing and loving the unlovable is how we go on effortlessly to create new worlds that didn’t exist before.

Raphael Awen

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.  Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc. Visit our donations page to offer a monthly or one time money donation to support our offerings.

Photo by Dave Poore on Unsplash