Today I have been feeling how much my leadership and relationality is rooted in the legacy of my birth father. My relationship to Power, Adequacy, and Vulnerability come in large part from my modelling of it from him. I am not blaming, I am noting, realizing, and taking responsibility for that. I get to change the course on that one by feeling and owning where it lives in me.
What also lives in me are the ways in which he modelled something healthy and true. None of us are all good or all bad. We have qualities we have a sense of ‘mastery’ over and other qualities we don’t. When I have felt that ‘not so good’ feeling about myself or my place in the world, I know there is something rooted in what I was steeped in as a child, as well as the collective and the soul.
As I have continued to step more into my worth, mission, and leadership, I can feel the ways in which I am healing that legacy within me. The shadow and the wounding get to come front and center and I can be with that in a compassionate way, not as it being a ‘part of the problem’. My father gave birth to my own version of ‘father’ that is now coming online as a leader, space-holder, and way-shower.
My own Fatherhood is about feeling my own empowerment (worth), care for others (compassion), and directness (truth-telling). These all come from a process around Power, Adequacy, and Vulnerability. It brings what lies in the Shadow into the Light not to be analysed or judged, but felt, seen, and integrated. I have a new relationship to these three portals now that I can feel how both my birth father and my inner father have related to and experienced them.
We don’t need to be, or haven’t needed to be, a father in this life to feel where this energy lies within each of us. When we go into these doorways, we are taking one step further into not just our own healing but the healing of the collective and the planet. The Patriarchy is rooted in Disempowerment, Inadequacy, and Invulnerability. It doesn’t feel good about itself. Actually, it feels like shit about itself. It is also existentially afraid of its own shadow. This lives in our own inner patriarchs/fathers. The wheel will continue to spin unless we address these things. No amount of suppressing and non-feeling will get us there. It may be a messy process at times, but so very needed.
If you are resonating or curious about this for yourself, Raphael Awen and I are hosting a Men’s Group Call on this very thing this Saturday, March 27 at 5pm GMT (London Time). It will be a two-hour call with a guided meditation to meet an Inner Protector aspect (possibly your inner father) that holds the keys to these doorways. It will be over Zoom for a donation of any amount. Go to this link for more info and how to donate:
We both look forward to connecting with men that are feeling the struggle yet desire for healing and perspective around these emotions and energies with compassion and hopefully offer some going-on places as well.
Aurius Amara is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for both men and women. Visit https://www.soulfullheart.org for more information about sessions, group calls/events, videos, community, etc.