Feeling And Healing The Inner Punisher In Service Of Love

When you are in a profession such as medical, education, business, etc. you are in a constant state of learning the new data, trends, and practices that will keep you up to date and on the leading edge of the field.

As a healer and a light/shadow worker it is very similar. I am in constant ‘professional development’ to better serve myself first and then in overflow to my facilitants/clients. Without me keeping dibs on my emotospiritual needs, I run the risk of a kind of malpractice in a way. This is not a form of shadow hunting, just being keenly aware of what my next steps are.

I came to hold space for a deeper layer of what we call the Inner Punisher. My current facilitants have had this show up for them at the same time, so it felt like a reflection to feel in myself. This is part of the development. Of becoming aware of what we may still be unaware of. The signs are right there in front of us when we are open and willing to see them, even if it feels uncomfortable.

This lead to a deep process with what we also call the Inner Father. These two energies were both merged as I had a lot of early childhood trauma with my biological father. There was a legacy of harshness and rage that had been handed down to the males in my family tree. It can’t help to be transferred from one son to the next. However, for me, this inner critical voice was internalized and expressed as self-punishment.

As I held this as a part of me, an Inner Father that wanted me to be normal and successful, I began to feel the vulnerability set in. I asked many questions to unearth what was at the root of his rage and anxiety. Once we got there, the tears began to flow for all that he felt like he had become as a mirror of my outer father.

He called himself Sarge like a Sergeant in the army. Both my father and grandfather were Marines and this was imprinted in my DNA. It has many Metasoul connections as well. I felt my compassion for him and even offered him forgiveness. That was hard for him to let in.

This is a deep energy that takes time, through rounds of healing and feeling, to get to the core of where the punishment comes from and how it has played out in so many ways. When it is coupled with a mother or father imprint it can pack a lot of energy but also a lot of healing. Our birth families offer us a lot of fodder for growth and transformation.

I have not been in contact with my father for many years. However, I could feel his higher self with me, offering remorse for what he was unable to offer me this life. That lead to another deep healing inside of me. I felt his old energy leave my field and felt a newer one integrate inside of me.

This has been years in the making and I feel a renewed sense of my own Gabrielness for lack of a better term. It is this Gabrielness that is the heart of my Service to Other. It is what lets me upgrade my system in order to let in more Light and Love to hold space and guide with compassion. I offer that space to you as well if you feel the desire to get to the core of this critical energy or any other energy you feel is keeping you in a lowered state of frequency of being. This is the reason I am here and the reason I continue to heal.

Gabriel Heartman
soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions

We offer a free 30-45 minute intro call via Zoom to see how the SoulFullHeart process may serve you in your healing and growth. Click the above link for more info or you can PM me. 🙂

*****

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Initiation Into The Sacred Masculine On Father’s Day

Today Father’s Day is happening inside of me. Today I open my heart to my inner boys. My inner child and inner teenager. The ones that didn’t get the initiation into the world of the divine masculine. This is not a knock against my 3D fathers. They did all they could do with what they were here to initiate me into. I have had my own personal healing process around what I did or didn’t receive as a growing and maturing boy. I had tears last night for what could have been.

Yet, in that moment I realized I can do that for myself. For them. I can connect to the divine masculine within via my masculine guides, metasoul brothers, and the Divine Father. Big Papa Love. He says he is here to continue my initiation. He is here to lead me to my True Man self. The one where my truth is felt and expressed in equal parts. The one where the courage to Be is as important as the courage to lead.

I am to continue this deepening quest for self-love, self-worth, and self-pride. One that heals and integrates the feminine within. It is an ongoing process of claiming Her inside of me. Of reconciling the judgments and the suppression. It is letting go of what was to let in what IS and can Be. It is falling in love with yourself so deeply that it has nowhere else to go but out. Out into the world in the service of humanity. In service of Love Itself.

In a world where masculinity has searched for answers and control, it is time to be initiated into a new vision of the ascending masculine. One in which love, peace, passion, and creativity are the leading edges of our quest while healing, and not denying, our trailing shadow edges.

From this day on, shall Father’s Day represent New Man Day. Initiation Into The Vulnerable Man Day. It is a fire walk but a sacred walk. I want us all to walk this one together…from the inside out.

Happy Father’s Day to you…the father of your inner boys.

*****

Gabriel Solais is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our website to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife/donations.

 

Moving Out Of Resentment & Into Forgiveness, Starting From Within

By Jelelle Awen

We are being invited to move into frequencies of open hearted remorse AND forgiveness at increasing rates now. Moving out of bitterness and resentment, not as a bypass of these feelings, yet with an acknowledgement of the parts of you that feel these denser, edgier things and WHY. Discovering the why source of the resentment (hurt covered over by self protective rage usually) inside of you allows for an accelerated movement into vulnerability.

Our Inner Protectors can get ‘parked’ in resentments with a looping pattern of shame and blame (both inside of us and toward our ‘perpetuators”.) The Inner Punisher joins in to the ‘fight’ and can build quite a strong case to keep the resentments boiling and toiling….often for years after the actual circumstances and conflicts.

But there is a cost to holding onto resentments, bitterness, grudges, etc. remaining inside of you. The cost is to the depth of which you can experience returning to love essence frequencies again. The cost is to the sensitive and precious Inner Child who literally feels heart break at ANY of these harsh and fear-based frequencies transacting toward them (this is what was so often experienced in childhood.) The cost is to experiencing your BIGNESS that can forgive in an instant both yourself and others.

These bitternesses/resentments are 3D and lower 4D frequencies that are aching for healing and transmutation now…especially as they live inside of the wounded masculine within us all and the collective. Holding onto these perceived resentments may feel like a ‘win’ in the moment to the part of you defending itself….yet it is ultimately a ‘loss’ for love transaction.

This process of forgiveness has to start from within. Going within to feel where the resentments exist and shimmer between parts of you allows for less projection of this outward toward others….and less drawing of situations that bring this up and create this energy with others. Resentments can run deep between an inner mother and an inner father for example, as often templated by birth parent relationships. Also between an overly protective Protector/Punisher part and an Inner Child/Teenager there can be big resentments.

This playout can also be HUGELY karmic, with many patterns of this expressing out in many timelines/lifetimes in different scenarios of betrayal, persecution, murder/killing, etc. Connecting with your Metasouls (soul fragments) in these lifetimes and really feeling/healing their experiences of these cycles can lighten up the experience in this life too and the drawing of more situations like this.

Being an ambassador of love to these inner relationships and other timelines/lifetimes experiences, offering much diplomatic and compassion space holding for each of these parts of you allows them to let go and truly move on.

We are ALL being invited to let go of the old hurts and the old patterns of shaming and blaming, both inside and with others. The Divine Mother offers a beautiful template of this forgiveness that also embodies remorse and compassion.  Lean into Her energy as She offers forgiveness and compassion to ALL parts of you and you can then extend it toward yourself and others too.

This is my 33 Day Deepen series offering many guided meditations to begin this compassionate space holding and healing for this life and other lifetimes too: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLNmrHdaQSAvLiLpw1qSOmQE-tsqhGSAD3

Love,

Jelelle Awen

Gabriel Solais and I will be co-hosting a live stream tomorrow on April 3rd here on FB at 10:00am PST to digest the March energies we’ve experienced and feel into April energies too!

1:1 sessions available to feel, heal, and reveal! More info here: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions

Photo by Lina Trochez on Unsplash

Introduction To The Parts Of Yourself And Soul

By Jelelle Awen

The worlds that these parts of us live in are SO real and so available to be visited. I have been so gifted and honored to venture into so many inner worlds with parts and Metasoul aspects of people in the last couple of years especially. There are many commonalities and similarities that these parts seem to share…even as every one of them is VERY unique to the person and soul.

Let me take you on a quick tour of these inner worlds to meet these parts of self and soul. You may feel a strong sense of recognition. You may respond with sudden tears or released sadness. You may hear and feel your own parts of self and soul responding with a desire and need to be felt, connected to, and seen.

First is your loyal Inner Protector, who is so often just standing by, on guard and vigilant. Lonely for company and companionship, yet unwilling to leave their post for any reason. The need for love that Protectors feel is buried beneath the duty and absolute necessity for protection that 3D life has required. They are covered up in various forms of armor to protect their heart and YOURS. They are standing in front of the castle of your essence….waiting, watching, and most of all guarding the precious contents (other parts) inside. Once connected to and loved, they become healthy boundary setting, healthy self protection. They transform into your 4D Gatekeeper who has access to all the timelines of your soul.

Here is a guided meditation to meet your inner protector: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7ciJIvrn0xA&t=1170s

Inside of the castle are your Inner Child and Inner Teenager. These ‘girls’ or ‘boys’ are often in shadow….tucked away for safe keeping in the high up turrets or the deeper dungeons. They are often SO sad, lonely…the Inner Child forgetting what it means to be free, to feel joy, to feel magical, to feel connected to your star family…..all frequencies that they can return to when received with love. The Inner Teenager vacillates between rage and hurt….wanting to be alone and wanting so desperately to be loved. This part transmutes with conscious connection to passionate expression, creative/soul purpose expression, and innocent sexuality.

Here is a guided meditation to connect with your Inner Child, Protector, and Divine Sophia: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0yuiBDIp2Oo&t=1707s

Here is a guided meditation to meet your Inner Teenager: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vu7nRmyzu0E&t=9s

Your Inner Punisher is usually in the shadows, in the dark….feeling ostracised and lonely…..using self judgements of you and others to repel, yet, mostly, to protect from barbs coming from the outside. Your Punisher has important discernments, intuitions, and truths to share with you….connection with them transmutes their energy from judgement without love to healthy discernment WITH love.

Here is a guided meditation to meet your Inner Punisher: https://youtu.be/0cTe6ayIAWk

There is also your Inner Mother and Inner Father….the internalization of the templating that you received from your parents. They can have quite a polarized relationship to each other, for which exploration with them can help to heal and defuse…..opening up your heart for more healthy gender expression and sacred union.

There are others that come from the source of your Metasoul or your individuated soul source. These Metasoul fragments are your soul brothers and sisters living in other timelines….living out karmic patterns that hold woundings that are repeating/recapitulating in YOUR life too. They express as an infinite range of species, energies, and universes. Connecting with them offers immense and effective gifts of karmic healing, soul gift expression/exchange, and quantum collective healing too!

Here is more about parts/Metasoul aspects: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/parts

This gives you a glimpse into the wonder world of your self and soul….beyond the ‘I’ that you’ve been taught is who you are is the REALity of the energies that HAD to form into expressions in order to fit in with 3D life. Beyond the ‘past life’ picture that makes things ancient rather than acknowledging how they live in the NOW, there are expressions of your soul that WANT and NEED to unify again.

Separation from these parts allows for a collaborative relationship to form. The original traumas and woundings happened in relationship and heal in relationship too. You become a loving, compassionate, and curious higher vibrational frequency of love that can rescue, save, feel, and BE with the parts of yourself and soul that most need you.
 
This is not just a therapeutic process to connect with these parts of yourself….yet also a deeply spiritual one. It allows your soul frequency to unanchor from 3D trauma places/scenes and woundings in your emotional body as held by these parts of you. As these parts release the trauma, they can ascend and awaken into your 4D and 5D self….they can integrate into your arising sacred human expression as Divine love!
~
If you’d like to go on a deeper dive into YOU to meet these parts of yourself with the support of an experienced and very heart open guide, I offer 1:1 bridging sessions with women and Raphael Awen & Gabriel Heartman with women and men to explore this inner terrain. More info here: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/bridging-session
~
Jelelle Awen is a Parts Work/Metasoul & Galactic Aspects/Sacred Union Teacher & Facilitator, and Ascension Guide. She is Co-creator/Facilitator/Teacher of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life awakening/healing process and community. She has written four books about Ascension, awakening, and emotional body healing. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about bridging and ongoing individual/group sessions over zoom with her for women and other SoulFullHeart Facilitators with men and women, events/retreats, videos, books, etc. Visit our donations page to offer a monthly or one time money donation to support our offerings.

Healing The Inner Masculine ‘Warrior’: Sharing My Current Journey

by Kalayna Colibri

I’m sitting next to ‘Malcolm’, my Inner Masculine part, by a tree in an etheric realm that has many stars all around and is a mellow shade of dark purple. This tree has become his higher-vibe place to go and be, especially when he feels reactive or is projecting old timelines from this lifetime onto the present and old relationships onto those I love.

The space between us is tender, as he’s feeling with me his desire to change deeper inside of him, his attachment to the ‘tangible’ and how challenging it can still be for him to trust the etheric, the Divine, the feminine in me, and the love that wants to go into him, though he so wants to at the same time. He then reaches next to him and picks up an old, dusty book.

“What book is THAT, Malcolm?” I ask him, “It looks old-timey.”

“It’s Homer’s ‘The Iliad'” he answers.

I’ve never read The Iliad in this lifetime, so I quickly look up the SparkNotes summary to feel into it and why it’s a symbol he’s picked up on for himself. It turns out that this poem glorifies war in many ways, especially in terms of fighting the righteous fight and not running away from battles that need to be gallantly fought and gloriously won. Apparently, Homer includes details of the gory side to war as well, probably to balance it out a bit. I immediately feel the strong archetype that this book shows Malcolm and me, the strong legacy of the ‘righteous battle’ and the conditioning of being ready to bravely fight for your beliefs, your lifestyle, your relationships, etc.

I feel this with him and feel how this is what’s true for the wounded masculine in everyone… men and women. I also feel my heart wrap this energy and conditioning in love, finally understanding some deeper layer of why it’s been inside of me, even though, especially in this phase of my life, there are NO battles to fight, nobody to really fight WITH unless conflict of some kind needs to arise as a mirror for everyone involved. It illuminates too, the battle WITHIN, which is so strong and really is what leads to battle outside of you.

Malcolm is in no-space, no-time right now in the loving arms of the Divine Mother, who on precious waves of tears, he was finally able to let in. This movement feels momentous for many reasons… and it truly has taken the time it takes to get him here!

I’m transparently sharing this story to illustrate a few points that I feel Malcolm actually wants me to make! I’m also sharing because hiding away the light and love that flows from our personal process denies love the chance to go to others and support them in their own movements and openings.

Much love to you and your own journey with your Inner Masculine, in whatever part or form they are taking now, whether you are a man or a woman! ❤

***

Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 35, emoto-spiritual teacher, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Being With Your Inner Masculine As A Woman

by Kalayna Colibri

I wrote a digestion a few days back of the incoming energies really working the wounded masculine – helping us to see it within ourselves, others, the world around us, and in so doing, to help us start to see the emerging Sacred Masculine, which we cannot really start to feel until we can feel what it is NOT first… as always, starting within.

I’ve actually been working with my Inner Masculine for a few years now as part of my process on the SoulFullHeart path. “He” has had many forms – Inner Protector, Gatekeeper (4D protector of your soul, especially your Metasoul Aspects), Inner Father, Inner Punisher, and all in all, my Inner Mate. all in different waves, layers and expressions, all with different names and frequencies too. Nowadays he goes by the name of “Malcolm” and together we are feeling through what feel like some lingering and perhaps finally completing tendrils and ties to 3D reality, which he has held as so dear for so long, and for many valuable reasons.

As a woman, it feels so incredibly important to acknowledge, deeply feel, and profoundly honour the Inner Masculine within, as they are as much a part of what makes up the remaining patriarchal and wounded masculine frequencies and realities in our current world and widespread reality, both within and outside of us. We have as much responsibility to feel these frequencies within as men do… and this world we are experiencing and wanting to deconstruct in order to rebuild into New Earth, is one we, as parts of us, have co-created.

Today I chose to spend a magical and unfolding afternoon with Malcolm, as it was his wish to do this with me… to have some dedicated “us” time where we can feel each other and feel our relationship start to move into higher vibrations together. He waxed metaphysical as we sat in a local (very Mexican, very sweet!) coffee shop and journaled together. I will share our dialogue together, as it offers you a bridge into being with a part of you, and a way in which to be with your own Inner Masculine (as a man or woman!).

~

Malcolm: I like this place, Kalayna… A/C would be nice, but it’s good…. Coffee is good, new environment is good… can’t get too congested and busy in here because it’s so small, AND they speak English really well! It’s sweet… and it’s nice to not have to hold Spanish with you right now.

Kalayna: Right? And after all that notebook hunting, looking for a small one to fit into a purse, we still ended up with more stuff than will (really) fit in my purse. Hilarious!

M: I know… oh well… I have to get used to letting go of agendas and pictures… or at least any attachment to them.

K: Yes, well, that will come… is here already, actually. You are doing it, little by little.

M: Yes. I’m letting that (and you) in!

I’m sorry I can be such an ass sometimes…
K: It’s OK, Malcolm. That isn’t very common now… you are not an ‘ass’, my friend. You are protective sometimes maybe, but nothing more than that.

M: Thank you… I do feel like I am changing. Sometimes it’s hard to believe how much I can change actually and AM being invited to change, which really in my case means letting go more than anything else.

K: What does ‘letting go’ mean to you?

M: Oof… well, control. Letting go of control or any attempt at it. God, THAT alone causes so much stress, because life IS out of control… YOU are out of control.

K: I am? 🙂

M: Ummmm, well, your growth is, yes! Your destiny is, yes!

K: What do you feel about ‘destiny’, Malcolm?

M: I feel like it is a fixed star always on the horizon. Just, I don’t know, the highest point of your highest timeline… where maybe someone may not get to in one particular timeline, but eventually their soul will get there. OK, I am waxing metaphysical right now!

K: Please go on! I love it!

M: (blushing a little) OK… I will continue.

What if “destiny” isn’t a carrot held by Divine forces, but is instead an inevitability? And what if maybe the destiny, the Grand Destiny, if you will, is really just an ultimate return to love, but with ALL of the growth, changes and trajectories you’ve inhabited left intact. A “return to Source” in a way, but as the mosaic piece you ARE becoming fully carved out and painted in your soul’s unique energies and colours? I get the sense that humans are unique beings because they have and ARE uniqueness… I don’t know. It’s that Conscious Duality piece again, it seems (side note: more on Conscious Duality on our blog, if you’re curious).

K: Yes, wow, that actually opens something up in my heart. Thank you, Malcolm.

M: Yeah… it feels good and purposeful and interesting…. We came from love and unto love we shall return… with significance, not pride or arrogance. Yet significance. And reverence for ALL… wow… Juicy!

K: Sure is! 🙂

M: Thank you for this today, Kalayna.

K: You’re so welcome, Malcolm. More of this to come, sometimes with Gabriel too! 😀 And of course our other beloveds too… with more beloveds to come soon.

M: Yes! I would like that…

K: Me too. 

~

The pictures accompanying this post are from today! Me at the coffee shop (you can sort of see/feel Malcolm in my field), some goodies well-enjoyed, and the beautiful sun codes we took in together too. 

***

Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Practical Ascension: 7 Key Areas Of Life – The Inner Mother/Father (Emotional Area)

by Kalayna Colibri and Gabriel Heartman

In this video, SoulFullHeart Teachers, Facilitators and Sacred Union mates, Gabriel Heartman and Kalayna Colibri, invite you to feel the emotional tones and origins of your Inner Mother/Father part(s) of you. These parts come from the lineages on our mother and father’s sides in this lifetime, yet they are also shaped by templating received by other sorts of caregivers, authority figures, and pervasive cultural conditioning around what it means to be a man or woman. A signature piece of this templating is often invulnerability in relationships, distrust towards life, love and others, control, and anxiety, all at varying degrees and depths.

The Inner Mother/Father can also be called the Inner Matriarch/Patriarch. Both of these represent the wounded masculine frequencies taken in in 3D reality. Kalayna and Gabriel discuss the different ways in which you can feel these parts within you, such as through feeling the relationship your mother and/or father had with their sexuality and their bodies, members of the same or opposite sex, life, money, etc. All of this templating becomes instilled within parts of us and until we can begin to feel its effect on us and the ways in which parts of us have also taken on this conditioning, it can be very challenging to actually heal this conditioning and begin to move beyond it.

Kalayna and Gabriel also share about their personal processes when working with these parts within themselves, as well as what this process usually looks and feels like for those who inhabit the SoulFullHeart Way of Life healing process and path. All of your committed efforts to being with and healing these parts of you opens up your heart to deeper compassion for how and why these parts originally formed as well as towards those who helped plant this conditioning within you in the first place. The ultimate intention is to begin to uncover and rediscover what it means to express as a ‘man’ or ‘woman’ in an authentic way that comes from a healing and conscious heart.

If you have any questions or comments, you can leave them in the comment thread here on the blog, on the Youtube video, or find us on Facebook (just look for Kalayna Colibri and/or Gabriel Heartman and/or SoulFullHeart Way Of Life!). You can also email soulfullhearts@gmail.com.

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life. Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess. 

 Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.