Healing Inner Patriarchy, Guided Meditation To Connect With Your Inner Protector/Mother Mary/Magdalena (Video)

By Jelelle Awen

This is the recording of the women’s group call yesterday with Kalayna Colibri and I. I recommend this for women AND men, as I discuss quite a bit about the patriarchy (wounded masculine expression) and how this energy LIVES inside of us as parts of us, which we come to love and embrace. This dominating energy (which we have ALL chosen on a soul level to live out its dominance as a collective) lives in our soul legacies too and the themes that we are exploring in other lifetimes. It also impacts (and can block) our experience and access of connection with Divine Mother and Divine Feminine guides in the deeply personal and visceral way that is possible. I talk about how the SoulFullHeart process and access to and healing with the emotional body allows for the healing, integration, and transmutation of these patriarchal energies in the emotional body and in the soul field to allow more inner feminine to arise and to BE.

I also offer a soothing yet powerful guided meditation to connect with the frequencies of Mother Mary (as healthy Mother) and Magdalena (as healthy Queen) to infuse you with Divine Feminine energies to replace the ones that you have let go off from 3D birth family relationships. You also connect with your Inner Protector during this meditation, the part of you that guards and protects the ‘castle’ of your essence, your inner femininity, your inner child, etc.

The personal sharings are edited out of the call recording, yet, really, THIS is the HEART of this experience of BEing on one of these calls. It is the sense that you are NOT alone in your journey to grow, to heal, to arise, to remember, to CHOOSE your soul and higher self. Each sharing brings in a different frequency, a vulnerable presentation of what is real, inviting ALL out to share too from this space. I finish these calls with a sense that not just the women IN the call have been served with love, but the collective ONE has been as well and all who are connected to us through our heart chords. I feel blessed, honored, and grateful to hold the space for this energy of vulnerable bravery to heal what is real to go out into the collective!

If you’d like to join our next group calls coming up in June (including our next women’s call on June 17th and a group call for both women and men next May 27th) please go here: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/groupcalls.

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Jelelle Awen is an emoto-spiritual teacher, sacred feminine and union facilitator, soul scribe, waySHOWer, galactic love ambassador, and co-creator and teacher of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. She is author of  Keep Waking Up! Awakening Journeys To Avalon And Beyond and an upcoming book to be released on June 1st, Sacred Human, Arising Wonder. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Energy Update: High Frequency Light Waves Offering Support For Soul and Heart Shifts In ALL Areas Of Life (Video)

By Jelelle Awen

After writing about the high frequency LOVE waves that are coming in just more and more every day into our atmosphere (Gaia’s and our INner ones too), I also share more on this video about these frequencies. Coming from an emotional body perspective WITH the energetic one, I offer a sense of how you are being invited to move beyond compartments in your life through negotiation with the 3D self aspects (esp. the Inner Protector) which still guard and even block your soul frequencies from flooding into ALL areas of your life.

This seems to be the invitation to us ALL through this ascension process and the gift of these high frequency energies…to embody our soul essence/higher self WITH a healthy and mature emotional body. This means LIVING everyday the 5D Heavenly life that our soul most wants and desires (which can be quite different from what our 3D self wants and has gotten used to as comfortable and safe)…..This is about serving love as our highest purpose here and aligning our life, through practical changes that flow out of the inner work, to this Divine expression.

I talk too about SoulFullHeart sessions, where we navigate this inner differentiation ground with you as you are able to open up access to higher self frequencies more clearly (BEcoming this YOU more and more) while you connect with your emotional body through parts work and karmic soul healing too. More about sessions here: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions

This is the article I wrote about this too…

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Jelelle Awen is an emoto-spiritual teacher, sacred feminine and union facilitator, soul scribe, waySHOWer, galactic love ambassador, and co-creator and teacher of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. She is author of  Keep Waking Up! Awakening Journeys To Avalon And Beyond and an upcoming book to be released on June 1st, Sacred Human, Arising Wonder. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

High Frequency Waves Invite Soul And Heart Claims On All Levels

By Jelelle Awen

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HIGH frequencies lately….the kind of frequencies that can hold wonderful space for the emotional body processes that want to come up and be FELT as you continue to awaken your soul and bring your higher self into your human body. The word ‘gamma rays’ doesn’t mean much to me mentally, yet in the body it feels like a wonderful HUM, like a natural caffeine buzz that brings clarity, renewed focus, and increased energy juice for ANY activities that are connected to your service of love here as the expression of your soul purpose. It may be more difficult to sleep during these high influxes, yet being accepting of this and ‘riding it out’ seems to help a lot. Use the non-sleeping time to clarify and create the NEW golden earth life you want to experience more and more.

These higher frequency photonic energies are illuminating and making more vibrant the higher heart or cosmic heart bandwidth as it beams out in crystalline rainbow rays from the center of your chest. This open heartedness, so warm in the heart feeling extends to those who you are intimately connected with in relationship, those you are serving love with, AND the collective consciousness too. The cosmic heart opens as the 3D heart frequencies in the emotional body are healed and transmuted. These lower frequencies are there because of traumas and woundings that you experienced this life that didn’t get digested at the emotional body level WHILE they were happening. These traumas create stuck places or what we call ‘parts’ that are freeze framed there emotionally. During SoulFullHeart sessions with people, these stuck places are often projected to me and I can ‘see’ them and feel them even before someone shares them with me. It is usually the Inner Protector that ‘shares’ them with me in this way in order for them to be finally felt and healed and moved beyond. Through negotiation and connection with your Inner Protector, they begin to share WITH you too and you can go into these scenes with your heart open to feel what is real and so the energy that has stuck can be moved on, transmuted, and integrated. Here is a meditation to begin this connection: https://youtu.be/yP0OmxcSScc

These higher frequency energies are also drawing soul tribe and soul family members together at a fast rate with immediate sense of resonance and connection. Like a honing beacon that ‘goes off’, soul family are discovering each other through following guidance, intuition, and paying attention to synchronistic events. The longing for soul community is being amplified in the collective, seeming to bring an end to the ‘lone wolf phase’ that so many people needed and chose during their awakening process. The ‘work’ of deconditioning from 3D experience of birth family wounding, from programming around duty and obligation, from karmic binds and ties continues to happen as you discover that formerly nourishing grounds in relationships that are based in these lower vibrations are losing their draw for you.

The compartmentalization that has been necessary to some degree while your soul woke up is being flooded by love waters in order to collapse the inner compartments that remain. Bubbles are being burst that your 3D self and Inner Protector have created around you so that your soul frequencies didn’t ‘disrupt your life’ too much. The ‘status quo’ parts of you have been able to maintain connected to 3D reality (such as careers, geographies, relationships) are being strained, pulled on, and pushed on. You may find that you are more frustrated, more consciously unhappy, and more impatient as this process is happening. These feelings are coming from the parts of you that are getting ready to let go of 3D conditioning and lower frequencies for good as you move more deeply into your higher dimensional expression here. I write more about bubbles bursting during these higher energy influxes here: https://soulfullheartblog.com/2017/05/04/bursting-bubbles-removing-compartments-making-changes-to-serve-love/

Serving love is pressing on you as you feel the cosmic invitation for ALL of us to claim our sacred calling and soul purpose reason for BEing here. This invitation can bring up anxiety, fear, resistance, and tension in parts of you that, again, are trying to protect you from being hurt or ‘getting too big’. These parts of you remember and have access to your soul legacy and the strains and pains you experience in other lifetimes around expression of your soul purpose. Persecution woundings, fall of Atlantis and Lemuria experiences, dark night of the soul frequencies….these are some of the energies coming up to be felt by you as you navigate the claim of your soul purpose.

Plus, the emotional body can ‘kick up’ layers of unworthiness, Inner punisher messages of inadequacy and corresponding shame as you step into your soul purpose work. If you can connect your service of love with your soul family, it can help ease some of these things and certainly (as I am always advocating) to FEEL what is REAL in your emotional body and soul as it lives in these parts of you helps hugely too. This is the process that we hold space for and guide you on during SoulFullHeart sessions with a facilitator. There is ALSO an opportunity for you to serve love through BEcoming a SoulFullHeart facilitator and teacher as you engage in the process through sessions and as it naturally becomes your way of life.

Hold space for yourself during these energies, trust your intuition and higher guidance (however you experience that), allow your feelings to have space in your BEing, and reach out to whomever feels like your soul family community, risk to be vulnerable, risk to make changes into the unknown. All of this will serve you as you navigate the love and light waves crashing into our shores during this VERY exciting transitional era in our sacred human embodiment experiment here with Gaia!

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Jelelle Awen is an emoto-spiritual teacher, sacred feminine and union facilitator, soul scribe, waySHOWer, galactic love ambassador, and co-creator and teacher of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. She is author of  Keep Waking Up! Awakening Journeys To Avalon And Beyond and an upcoming book to be released on June 1st, Sacred Human, Arising Wonder. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Emerging Out Of Mother’s Shadow

By Jelelle Awen

Mother-Child-Help-Letting-Go

Emerging out of the shadow of Mother….sometimes peeking around, sometimes bursting forth. Yet, you need to emerge at some point to claim and to BE who you are BESIDES and BEYOND her. She served as a form for you to wrap around for a phase of time. Yet, the scaffolding she provided is meant to be let go of so that your essence can stand on its own ground, so it can arise into your NEW.

Whether your mother is passed, you are very close to her, you haven’t spoken to her in many years….STILL does her influence live in your emotional body, in parts of you that absorbed her like a sponge. Just as she did with HER mother and she did with HER mother and on and on, the heritage and legacy of mothering.

Getting some space from birth mother and the merging there that parts of you did because they HAD to in order to survive…..feeling these parts of you, especially your Inner Mother, and how, even beyond genetics, you inherited her energetically, emotionally, spirituality, in your chakras. She went in to the depths and cores of you, like mortar fitting in around all your foundations.

Letting go of your birth mother to let in YOUR mothering inside, your nurturing, your comfort, your capacities to mother yourself and to care for yourself and all the aspects inside that need you. You becoming mother to your Inner Child and your Inner Teenager….loving them as you would your own children, cherished and BEloved.

To extract yourself from this birth mother template, to start letting it go is also to begin LETTING IN love with the Divine Mother. So many faces and energies and forms of Divine Feminine can come to you. Being held in the arms of Mother Mary, Dancing in joy with Magdalena, Feeling the death and rebirth cycles with Kali/Dark Mother, Exploring your Egyptian queen with Isis, Being stillness with Kuan Yin. She can BE what you need, what you missed, what you long for. Just ask, open your heart, make space, and She will come.

This process of ‘defusing’ from your birth mother may ask you to take space from your current relationship with her. To begin advocating for what you want, who you are, and to see what can arise anew between you. And sometimes the relationship is just too toxic or not nourishing for you to remain in it, especially if you are awakening and she is not. Or you just need space to feel who YOU ARE beyond her. …..and Divine Mother is ALWAYS there waiting to support you and to guide you in the process of remembering who you authentically ARE as a Sacred Human in feminine form!

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Jelelle Awen is an emoto-spiritual teacher, sacred feminine and union facilitator, soul scribe, waySHOWer, galactic love ambassador, and co-creator and teacher of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. She is author of  Keep Waking Up! Awakening Journeys To Avalon And Beyond and an upcoming book, Sacred Human, Arising Wonder. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Dearest Woman, You Are Arising!: A Message With Magdalena

By Magdalena with Jelelle Awen

Divine-Feminine-Temple-e1328971347803

Dearest Woman,

You are arising….from the seeds of your sacred humanity, in feminine form, does your little bud grow into full blossom. Watered by self love, self worth, self connection…your flowers of soul and heart open wide, open UP, releasing the mysterious scents and displaying the vibrant colors of your woman-ness. This organic growth process happening often without your witnessing or tracking, spring-loaded.

You are arising….from the deep sleep of not being seen or heard or recognized in your authentic feminine powerful leadership, now BEing woken up to your soul purpose here. Transitioning from your slumbering sleeping beauty state to your co-leading reign with your BEloved mate OR alone as solo Queen for a phase. Your slumber has been necessary, yet so painful at times, I know, and I have been compassionate witness to it ALL.

You are arising….from the letting go of mirrors within in relationships that no longer reflect your awakening self. BEing real about how you FEEL in these unions, especially those formed from previous genetic bonds, soul agreements that may be complete, and karmic binds that you no longer need. Moving on with love and grace from these bonds while keeping your heart open, yet your soul, heart, body, and mind desires for transaction clear.

You are arising….from the tears of your inner child BEing felt finally and the little daughter within you receiving a mothering from you and from the Divine Feminine Mother. Your awakening WOMAN maturing through connection with the undigested trauma of those past thens….moments that still exist in the now of your emotional body that are assimilating into you. You are ripening into your emotional maturity AS you integrate the ageless wisdoms and gifts of your soul.

You are arising….from the remembering of your galactic origins and tastes of your Star BEing roots. You are speaking the languages of these heritages, every syllable creating a wave form connection beaming out from your chrystalline throat and your cosmic heart. There is something ancient here and beyond time too, in the NOW you are merging with your Star BEing aspects to infuse higher dimensional frequencies into your human one to arise into a sacred human in feminine form.

You are arising….from the essence of your purpose to serve love as you align your life to this calling. You are transitioning from DOing things as your means of drawing livelihood to BEing service of love in ALL moments. Receiving and responding to the gifts from the Universe and Divine Source that come as you serve love and let go of ‘hows’. The mind cannot be certified to serve love nor the remembrance of your soul gifts come from traditional learning or the previous self-image-based ways, yet you gain access to it as you BEcome and open up to it with your genuine and humble desire to serve love.

You are arising….I SO support this process and I am HERE to be with you in it ALL…the blooming, the growing, the speaking, the receiving, the responding, the giving, the serving, the BEING. I am HERE with so much love for you to offer a template of NEW sacred woman for you to lean into as my Divine frequencies blend with your human ones. You draw the form of me that you most need and can resonate with.

Dearest woman…you are arising!! Claiming the love that you ARE  and so BEcoming it too during this time of Re-Union and Re-membering. So much love to you from me to me and WITH you!

In love,

Magdalena with Jelelle

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I’ll be teaching more about this, connecting this process with the work I (and Kalayna Colibri for women under 30) offer to women during SoulFullHeart sessions, leading a guided meditation to connect with Divine Feminine energies such as Magdalena and your inner protector during a woman’s call this Saturday, May 20th if you’d like to join your BEing with ours!:https://www.facebook.com/events/1083484598423538/

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Jelelle Awen is an emoto-spiritual teacher, sacred feminine and union facilitator, soul scribe, waySHOWer, galactic love ambassador, and co-creator and teacher of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. She is author of  Keep Waking Up! Awakening Journeys To Avalon And Beyond and an upcoming book, Sacred Human, Arising Wonder. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

 

Exploring Men’s Inner Protector

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There is a lot of beautiful writing happening around the feminine protector among women.  A sometimes fierce energy that has found its duty in protecting the supple beauty and divine creative power of the inner feminine.  It has arisen out of the need to keep this jewel safe in the invulnerable and aggressive world of the unhealed masculine energy that the feminine has found itself residing in.  But this was until such time when it was no longer needed and the more authentic and powerful BEing could emerge from its sheltered perch to relieve this sentry from his post and become more of an advisor and loyal inner guide, as well as a mate template.  

This picture feels so alive and clear to me.  But what of our male protection?  What has kept us in the more invulnerable state of truly letting our hearts be felt and expressed in a way that takes us into our hidden and not so pretty places?  Our fear and small places?  I feel how our inner feminine has been protected as well, along with our inner child in order to “survive” in a very outbound 3D reality.  Get to the heart of any man and you will find a pain of loneliness, disempowerment, and uncertainty of what the hell masculinity even is!  There is a rage of not being shown the “way” by a father who hadn’t the faintest clue himself in many ways.

For most men, the protection arose as either `fight or flight´. A more aggressive warrior technician scientist that could fear or control his way into a false sense of power and safety. This protection is meant to satiate the fear that lies in the inner boy or to even quell it as ‘boys don’t cry’.  This is a check against any outside force that would use this vulnerability against him as a ‘weakness’.  The fear of truly feeling what lies in our hearts is a difficult one for many men to bear.  This happens at varying degrees for each one of us.

The flight response, which tended to be mine most of my life is the protection of hiding.  In this form, the protector could be male, and it could also be female as in a very protective mother.  For those of us that were ‘mama’s boys’ with doting mothers, this would feel familiar.  Here our fight response has been muted and even castrated to some point.  An inner punisher voice can intensify the hiding if the father energy had similar tones as well.  Here the inner sensitive boy/feminine is much more aware and the protector will do anything possible to keep the boy from being put in situations where it would be vulnerable to attack.

For men, this protector is also found in the soul domain as a soul guardian and can serve this role very aptly.  Using spiritual gifts as a way to transcend or hide from very real emotional human pain and trauma that lies dormant in the emotional body.  This relationship holds many keys to our arising sacred humanity and access to even deeper embodiment of our soul purpose and gifts.

You can feel your protector when you feel pressed to produce, express, or manage in a very controlled or outbound way.  Or when you feel tight, distrustful, or anxious.  If you feel like you want to avoid something or just can’t find the will to even get out of bed.  Or maybe you just want to leave this dimension all together and find yourself back ‘home’.  The way we relate to the females in our life can show our protector if we find ourselves care-taking or pushing them away.  There are so many ways he, or she, can show up.

The main question to ask yourself is if you are fully BEing and living a life full of Joy and Possibility in any given moment.   To the 3D mind and suffering heart, constant Joy is an unknown yet this IS what is real in our essence as Infinite Love.  If we aren’t feeling a connection to this love frequency frequently, then there is a protection in between it and us.  I am continuing to unfold this for myself everyday.     

The protector of our male hearts is as valuable and tender as its feminine counterpart.  With a relationship to it, we can find ourselves softer and less aggressive, as well as more bold, provocative, and assertive with an open heart.  I feel so much more in my own power and masculinity than I did just 4 short years ago with this negotiation and relationship to that which has kept me hidden instead of outed.  Suffering instead of in Joy.

Raphael Awen and I want to call out to all men who are looking to further and deepen their individual power and self-love as well as draw or deepen a romance you may already be in.  You can find the details to the next Men’s Group call here: https://www.facebook.com/events/1529253583760067/

For a recording of a group call and meditation that Raphael and I did to meet your inner protector you can check that out here: http://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sfhman

We also offer personal healing sessions via Zoom to help you feel through whatever is blocking you from living and BEing the most authentic version of Love you can BE and ARE.  We also are inviting others to join us in community of heart and soul brotherhood if that were to appeal to your soul’s journey.  We are calling the knights back to the Round Table of Love and Goodness!  You can read more about that here:  http://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sfhman

My protector’s heart to yours,

Gabriel Heartman

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual teacher, men’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Soothing, Softening And Healing Our Inner Protector

by Kalayna Colibri

queen

There were edges in me yesterday. They were much softer than they once were, yet were there just the same, poking outward from inside, wanting me to be covered with some spiky armor to keep energies out and to protect a preciousness inside of me, an ever-awakening yin-ness and sacred feminine energy, from being too exposed. It’s a more male-feeling edge, a masculinity that is so subtle now after years of working with energies like this on different layers of my BEing through this process of mine. This energy has needed to be there, to navigate solo life chapters, to hold my online English tutoring job, to manage my money, my body, my dog, many many pieces and parts and aspects of me and my life. A fatherly energy that has also been a mate to parts of me, drawing men he can criticize and find ways to “keep out”, and the same goes for female connections too, no matter how porous. Essentially his job has been keeping love out instead of letting it flow inward and outward as its meant to and wants to, letting go more and more of control and fear-based frequencies, letting go of expecting a battle to ensue with just about everyone on some level and allowing my inner Queen, my soft and supple yet strong inner feminine, to rise….

This is a part of me and not a part of me, too… he feels more energetic than solid as our subpersonalities/parts normally are. He is a layer of my loyal inner protector as a woman. He has helped me through so much, been a genuine knight assigned to protect my inner Queen until she is strong enough to BE on her own. He has shown up consistently and gallantly, well-beyond his call of duty. Now is the time to help him rest more and more and the only way I can truly offer him that, is to feel him every chance I get… as luck (and LOVE!) would have it, I have plenty of “grist”, as we say in SoulFullHeart in which to feel him – opportunities and situations in my life where he shows up more and I can feel him doing so. I even feel him now as I write this, editing my words, spelling and grammar a bit as I go, wanting to help me bridge this experience for YOU, whether or not you too are a woman, for men have this too. It’s a wounded masculine expression, formed in response to the pervasive wounded masculine in different timelines of our current and ever-evolving, ascending world. He says this and also offers that it is truly gutsy, deeply courageous, to question these edges these protectors provide for us… to ask them to let our vulnerability BE and shine, to let love in and show a trust in love that they don’t often have or feel unless we can help them find it again.

The hardest part of differentiating from this protector energy inside of us, is recognizing when and how it shows up. It so often has BEEN us for our whole lives up to now, and we have been convinced that this is really all there is to us in some ways (and this part has felt this about themselves). We are led to feel that what we are doing is inhabiting true man and womanhood, yet this is based so much on our often very limited and deeply wounded templating passed down from generations in our birth cultures and birth families and hasn’t yet been questioned. One of the biggest signs of any awakening on any level is starting to ask these and ANY questions like, “is this is really what I’ve been called to live as/like?”, “is this really me?”, “is this really all there is?”

The waves of movements and illuminations come into our BEing the more we open to receive them, in this process of softening and growing and relearning, in this process of getting to know our parts and uncovering our truest selves. Edges and spikes soften, reactions are challenged and soothed, fires are given fireplaces, and our hearts fill up with more and more love that was forbidden to come into us for so long.

Jelelle Awen and I are holding and hosting a group call for women this coming Saturday, where you can be supported by our energy and the yin already baking and waking inside of you. Here is the link to find out more: https://www.facebook.com/events/1083484598423538/

Our last group call for women was this past month, and Jelelle led us through a meditation to meet our inner protectors. You can listen to the recording of the teachings and meditation from that call here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vNPCtTQ9O-E

And, Jelelle and I offer you ongoing support in service of the LOVE that you ARE through space holding sessions, should you feel called to explore more of what I’m sharing here today and how it shows up in your own BEing and life. More information on that is here: http://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/soulfullheartwoman

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Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, writer, and poetess. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

The Loving Room: Entering The Doorway

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Painting by Josephine Wall

Graphic created by Gabriel Heartman

 

by Kalayna Colibri

You wander down a corridor, doors on either side, some with much space in between them, others not. Some are painted in beiges and browns, some have psychedelic colours, others look and feel like rainbows and light… then one catches your eye just as you begin to pass it by.

You immediately stop and turn on your heels to head back towards it, not sure why you’re compelled by it all of a sudden, but it doesn’t matter to you in that moment. The aura of the door feels warm and you get the sense that someone on the other side might want to embrace you… your logical mind tries to grasp at how this could be possible, yet it begins to let go in almost the same breath, sensing it might have a place to rest in this room. Your hand reaches out to turn the golden knob, only to realize that the door is no longer solid. You step through it, as your mind begins to loosen more.

Now inside, you see that the ceiling is gone and there is only a sky with clouds, dancing themselves into different forms and patterns, some of which you recognize, others you don’t. There seems to be layers to this “sky” you see above you, and in fact, this room seems to have layers too somehow, or at least you can sense it does. You also see some lush sofas, comfy chaise lounges, luxurious hammocks, friendly plants and you hear music playing softly in the background now, a welcoming sound that doesn’t have its usual form or patterns, but it has frequencies that somehow send waves of HUM through your body and the energetic field around your body too.

You take this in for a few moments, feeling the fresh air and beaming sunlight. It’s not a room, yet it IS a room too somehow. And as your mind continues loosening, the need to make “sense” of this dissolves in spite of you. A feeling that you’re “home” washes through and over you. A feeling you haven’t really felt before, except maybe as a very young child, and yet it feels like something you experienced at another time and place too, not in this life you have been living as “you”.

As you walk around the room a bit, you see that there is no clock to track “time” as there would be in most rooms you’ve experienced.

On a wall of vines, next to a majestic tree, you see a large mirror, taller and wider than you are, leaning yet stable. Its framing looks and feels ancient, with filigree and rosettes. As you gaze at the self reflected inside of it, at first you see features and colours that you recognize as “you”. This feels to last but a moment before something shifts and suddenly you seem to be seeing yourself from a very strange angle, yet the mirror itself hasn’t moved! This angle is awkward, showing you parts of your body you’ve avoided looking at at times and it seems you can also see your shadow appear – first above and behind your shoulder, then also near your neck on the opposite side, down near your hands, beside your leg, and close to your feet. Your shadow moves suddenly and seems to cover you, accentuating the angle you’ve already decided you don’t like seeing… yet you stay there, in front of the mirror, compelled to see more, to feel more, to get to know more.

“Why?” part of you asks, “why now? Why do I have to see myself this way?”

As tears fall, you begin to realize what’s happening. You turn away from the mirror and lay down on a sofa as you continue to cry. You feel something rise up from within and without you, holding you as this happens. It is the embrace you were drawn to on the other side of the door, the reason why you stepped into this room in the first place. You collapse more into the tears as memories come in. You are surprised at how you don’t feel overwhelmed by this and that you’ve actually been wanting and needing this release for so long…

As the tears fade, you continue to feel the comfort of that embrace. You feel stronger than before. A smile spreads across your face and a lightness you haven’t known since you were a child fills your being. Your heart feels a bit raw, but the healing balm of this lightness and joy help to hold and soothe it.

You don’t really want to leave this room, yet you sense that now that you’ve been here, it will be with you always, and you can always return to it whenever you want or feel called to. As you pass through the door, you realize that the memory of what happened here will always be with you and the embrace you felt is bound to change you forever.

Welcome to the Loving Room. ❤

 

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Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, writer, and poetess. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

 

 

The Pearls Of You On The Other Side Of Feeling

By Jelelle Awen

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The heart cries that are underneath the explanations and the justifications…..THESE cries call you to respond beyond what your mind can make sense of or explain away. These heart cries don’t go away as they aren’t meant to and CAN’T until they are felt and loved and connected with directly, until they are digested directly, until they are LISTENED to.

Having buried these heart cries far away, it can seem like you are recovered and even ‘moved on’. Yet, still, the undigested cries show up in physical hurts and illnesses, can’t sleep patterns and emotions of depression, anxiety, rage, tension, flat. Or relationships that are strained, toxic, abusive even, or just don’t offer the heart, soul, body, and mind grounds that you deserve and want. OR they show up in parts of you in HYPER energy, pushing out, covering up, staying VERY busy and full, going strong and using soul frequencies to frame it all in a positive way, avoiding feeling.

Oh, this is NOT an easy thing….to dive into places where parts of you would rather not go. Yet, you are diving in to discover the treasures that live there in the shadows….to release and integrate eventually. To offer your heart cries the compassion of your presence so that the tears can TRULY dry up and the cries can be silenced….

This is NOT easy, yet the rewards of your diving in, going in, feeling IN are the collection of the pearls of your deepest vulnerabilities, your most precious sensitivities, your suppressed desires….coming to light again, coming in the glow of your love again, coming UP again to be worn by YOU with gratitude as you arise into something NEW on the other side of feeling.

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Jelelle Awen is an emoto-spiritual teacher, sacred feminine and union facilitator, soul scribe, waySHOWer, galactic love ambassador, and co-creator and teacher of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. She is author of  Keep Waking Up! Awakening Journeys To Avalon And Beyond and an upcoming book,Sacred Human, Arising Wonder. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

To The Part Of YOU Who Suffers: From Your Higher/Sacred Human Self

By Jelelle Awen

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I see your suffering. I see how it makes the colors of life seem stripped down to black and white tones. I see the world you live in of bare trees and empty lands and deep valleys. I see your dark night and the rains coming down.

I feel how your suffering weighs at you, anchors you with a near constant ebb of bleakness and despair. I feel how THIS pain is what you have known most of your life and so it is familiar, comforting even. I feel how it is what you have become, even though it is not what you actually ARE.

I see and I feel your suffering and I understand the reasons and whys for it. I understand how our soul has passed down experiences from other lifetimes, from our soul legacy group/Metasoul, the experiences that have come to define you in this way.

I want to offer you a NEW sense of life beyond the suffering and beyond what you have known of it. A life that looks like techno-color landscapes, rich and lush and nourishing. A life that looks like open and bright vistas of sunny possibilities. A life that looks like clear emotional forecasts for days and days.

I want to offer you a NEW feeling of life where there is more LOVE than there is pain, where love can hold the space for the pain and help it move. I feel how your energy could be freed up if you were putting it into joy, into creativity, into soul purpose, into sacred union, into service of love.

I want to offer you a life WITH me there to guide you, to be with you, and to feel you. A life where you don’t have to be alone in your pain but in the company of my steady heart presence where it can FINALLY be released. A life where we can come together more and more, eventually toward integration, in a reality where your suffering becomes replaced by love more and more!

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This energy from YOU to the part of you that suffers, this invitation for this part of you to heal and release and lean into you can create a very new reality INside as more separation from BECOMING the pain happens. This creates metaspace inside of you from your suffering as you see and feel how it is ONLY part of you that holds it, not that YOU ARE it. Rather than trying to resist the suffering or numbing it with very many things, you can embrace it, yet still be objective from it.

In my life, this tone of suffering manifested as depression and a sense of underlying despair about life. Connecting directly with the part of me that held this energy (and there were more than one actually over the years!), I could feel the roots of it from childhood, from when I was a teenager, and as an adult living in 3D reality. And I felt how it connected to soul frequencies at an existential level. I have not experienced this sense of depression for many years now as the energy that held it has transmuted and integrated into mostly creative expression to serve love (which is often at the root of the depression, hence the ‘suicidal’ artist).

This is a magical method for self healing! We explore this ground in SoulFullHeart sessions if you are drawn to learn more and experience it for yourself and the awakening, clarities, transformation and REAL LIFE changes that come as a result of this process: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions. Here is more about parts work process: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/parts

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Jelelle Awen is an emoto-spiritual teacher, sacred feminine and union facilitator, soul scribe, waySHOWer, galactic love ambassador, and co-creator and teacher of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. She is author of  Keep Waking Up! Awakening Journeys To Avalon And Beyond and an upcoming book,Sacred Human, Arising Wonder. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.