Your Inner Thanksgiving

Today is Thanksgiving Day in the US. This day does not have the same energetic impact on me anymore as I am not currently in those grids. BUT, it does bring up a lot of memories and reflections. I know that it is a day for feeling gratitude for all that we have and had. It is good to do that. To have a reminder; to take a breath and just be grateful for it all, even the not-so-good as it can lead us to the healing places where there is more good.

However, there is an authentic gratitude and a false gratitude. One that covers over the truth that parts of us hold about all aspects of our lives from the people we are in relationship to, to our jobs, to our health, or to the circumstances in our life. A part of you may not be so damned thankful. Maybe he/she is frickin’ irritated, hurt, angry, or just plain apathetic to it all. Whatever authentic joy that does exist inside can be neutralized by these parts unless they get a place at the table too.

Yeah. There is a Thanksgiving table inside you. Around it lies all the aspects of you that have all sorts of opinions, truths, reactions, and joys. Your inner child can be relegated to the kid’s table by the parts of you that don’t want to feel certain things from pain to joy. They can be judged and ignored. There is an inner patriarch or matriarch that has it all under control and knows what is best for everyone. There is a protector at the door making damn sure it doesn’t get too out of hand or that no one accidentally slips and tells is like it is. A gatekeeper that is holding the cap on a plethora of metasouls that are popping in and out of consciousness. Wow! This day is full of so many trans-dimensional dynamics! No wonder we just eat like crazy and fall asleep!

I know this is a general and typical representation, but it is a great way to feel what may be happening inside of you on this day and the days to come this holiday season. It is actually the best time to really feel what is real and true inside of you. Making contact with this inner family is the gift that keeps on giving. It leads to the real source of inner peace and gratitude. You get to be the Head of Household and create a new way to celebrate on the inside. Listening, feeling, and holding these parts and making new choices of relationship, vocation, and geography that are more aligned with this healed and more authentic state of being.

To get in touch with these dynamics inside of you that may be creating a lot of stress, anxiety, or depression inside of you this season, all of us at SoulFullHeart are here to hold space and offer a heart-open reflection of the aspects and lives within you. To help bridge to a new world of self-love and self-leadership. I send you much love and blessings on this day and may it be the most real day of them all. That is something to be grateful for.

Painting by K. Amelia Bates

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Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our website to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife/donations.

Sometimes Love Don’t Feel Like It ‘Should’: The Rumble Of Awakening

As you enter the vast universe of our deepest truths and bring those to the forefront of your daily and “at the moment” consciousness, the life that was created in service to that hidden reality has no choice but to rumble. As I remember the beginnings of my own awakening journey and those that I have served and am currently serving, this is a very cataclysmic part of the process to the part of us that have kept things tidy and manageable, even as it suffered over it.

As you become aware of the emotional intricacies of the current web of relationship, you can begin to feel the network of cords that were created as a result of this part’s need to conform, follow duty, and be loyal. It was what this part thought was needed to do in order to love or be loved. To protect and be protected. But when you start to awaken to the reality that many of your current connections may be based on something less than authentic to your growing understanding of what you are meant to be and experience, this web cannot be unaffected by coming to terms with your new emotional and spiritual reality.

Pulling out of this old matrix of 3D relationship can be a tough one as it tugs on our inner guilt and shame. It can be hard for the part of us that feels a responsibility in the emotional responses of others. It doesn’t feel very loving to hurt others. It can feel like you are being selfish and uncaring. Think of a spider web and you are at one of the crossings. If you pull on that it affects all those around that are connected in that web. You make waves and rumbles when you begin to realize this arrangement is no longer in service of your highest self.

This leaves others wondering what the hell is going on. “Why are you doing this?” It does change their lives as they have their own agreements with you, and you are changing the game and the rules. Others will get hurt if they cannot feel where you are coming from and are not ready to go to the new places you are. There is only so much explaining you can do. Sometimes love for all involved is about feeling the pain that lies underneath it all and letting the chips fall where they may with as much compassion and care as possible. You cannot cure other people’s sorrows for they are a part of their own journey of awakening.

In SoulFullHeart we feel the parts and soul aspects of you that can feel the guilt, shame, and fear of changing the course of lives. This was all made possible by the higher selves of those involved. You can only own your own responsibility within the web and understand that there is no harm done when it is all coming from real love, the love that is aching for parts of you to be seen and felt, honored and cherished. The experience that others have are for their own learning and growth needs. That is can be difficult when there is an emotional and spiritual bind between hearts and souls.

This is the hard part of awakening and ascension for those that are still in the midsts of realizing the reality of what is before them. By feeling the parts of you INside you can create one courageous choice at a time that is meant to serve the highest good for all involved with compassion, remorse, and real love. The kind that we all have been avoiding as it leads us to worlds we have been so conditioned to fear…the largess of our infinite soul.

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

 

Filling Up And Serving From The Love-Well Within

by Kalayna Colibri

to love fully 2

To love fully, we must be self-filled, not self-less… this can a hard one to wrap our heads and hearts around, as parts of us tend to be very conditioned to the idea that in order love someone ‘the right way’, this often means sacrificing or over-compromising on many things, including but not limited to, our sense of spirituality, our emotional reality, our lifestyle, etc. It often means that parts of us have been OK with ‘shrinking to fit’ in order to maintain certain relationships, even if these relationships aren’t deeply resonant or nourishing, leaving us feeling drained, depressed, maybe even very ill.

Our 3D selves, often made up of many different parts of us, like our Inner Teenager, Inner Mother/Father (or Matriarch/Patriarch), Inner Punisher, and Inner Protector, seem to have a way of expressing ‘love’ that often compromises even their own deeply held beliefs and feelings. Love then becomes a game of disowning and dishonoring our authentic emotional reality for the sake of others as well as being very self-sacrificial and often martyrs, too. Over-giving becomes the norm and choosing YOU over anyone else becomes a ground for self-punishment and beratement instead of a feeling of needing to fill up the inner love-tank so that you only have MORE to give and receive, too. Chances are that if you are wired-up to live in this more outbound way, you often find yourself drained energetically, emotionally and even spiritually.

I hear many empaths staking the claim that everyone around them ‘drains’ them, painting a picture that their gift of being empathic is actually a burden, which it can certainly feel like to parts of us, especially while this dynamic of over-giving to others and under-giving to yourself is going on. The truth that I have felt and experienced, is that our need to go within is a strong one that shows itself in so many ways… and that the gift of being here to serve love means serving from an overflow of SELF love; a steady stream created within by the waters of self care and creating a sacred space for yourself, your parts, your Metasoul Aspects to land in.

Taking the space necessary in order to find this deep inner overflow is tricky while surrounded by others who do not value this space for themselves. The love we have and want to offer each other will always be there in some form, yet without space to feel and BE in our own hearts and healing processes, means that we are serving water from a dry or drying-out well that needs replenishment which must start from within. It is as important to be with ourselves as it is to be surrounded by others who offer nourishment on all levels of being and in all areas of our lives and that want to support us in taking care of us as well as being supportive towards them.

This felt like an important point to share today, especially as Gabriel Heartman and I have been digesting and sharing a lot about the social area of life in our vlog series, Practical Ascension. If you are curious to take in more about our experience of healing in this area of life and what we offer through the SoulFullHeart lens, you can find our videos on Youtube on the SoulFullHeart Experience channel and on this playlist: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLNmrHdaQSAvInP1AB__TzXykZythfad8i

Filling up within can be one of the hardest things to imagine doing for different parts of us, depending on the configuration of our lives, yet it is so important, especially during these times of intense awakenings and upgrades happening on all levels and the increasing depth of our own Ascension processes! Nothing draws the relationships with others that we truly desire, more than being willing to say ‘no’ when necessary, to say ‘yes’ when it feels nourishing and alive, and to find a relationship with ourselves that is truly loving, unconditional and infinite.  ❤

 

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Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Redefining Family From The Heart Up

me and Shai

Today is the day that my daughter, Shai, comes to join us in SoulFullHeart community.  It is almost surreal, to be honest, even though she was here in February and we have been in contact quite a bit.  It is surreal because it will be her coming in her full authority and self-choice to be a part of this healing path and community.  Admittedly, she knows all of us and that makes it an easier choice but this was not always the case.

When we all decided to leave Canada nearly 3 years ago, Shai was firmly planted in her Vancouver world.  She had no desire to join us and go into the healing journey.  She was in a construction phase.  A time to individuate herself from us.  It is actually the way it really needs to be for someone in their late teens.  The difference is that we would not be in contact because the energy of our worlds would be so different and nearly impossible to relate to.  We both needed to go all into our worlds and lives and trust that if we were meant to be in healing and community together we would.  It was a very difficult process to be with as it is so not the norm in terms what is “normal” from our societal and familial conditioning.

My inner Dad had so many concerns and judgments about “leaving her behind”.  All the voices of my personal family and the collective family.  It was a codependency to self-image and also soul legacies of abandoning and being abandoned.  This provided a HUGE growth ground for both us.  She learned to navigate life on her own terms and being with her own challenges.  I got to feel very wounded aspects of myself that would be medicated with care-taking.  I got to feel myself as “not Dad”, but as a man on a journey to self-discovery.

Through our space apart we eventually got back in touch with each other sometime last year, but I couldn’t tell you how.  If we are all meant to be together in a soul family, the hows and whens just seem to arise.  We had touching and tear-laden conversations of reconnection and she began a process with Kalayna as she had been feeling a fairly empty emotional and spiritual life in Canada.  Being raised in SoulFullHeart like she was, makes it hard to really relate to a world that has a hard time feeling its own emotions, and she admitted it was hard for her to feel hers.

She eventually began to feel parts and was opening up a whole new world inside her that was not based on pleasing Mom or Dad, but about her own growth and bigness. Now, there are undoubtedly mom and dad pieces that we will be feeling together, but this is something she is taking on in  her own right.  It is a truly remarkable choice for someone at her age of 22.  She is a leader of a generation, along with Kalayna, and that is such a gift to us and the world.

Now we get to reinvent ourselves as father and adult daughter.  We get to heal the old dynamic to make way for a new more genuine one that is between two souls on a path together.  It is about teacher/student (of which she will be my teacher on many occasions), being mirrors to each other, and being in close intimacy as two human beings in reverence and soul bond.  We get to explore metasoul places together and I get to be a recipient of all her gifts, and she mine.  None of these were possible in the old ground as we were both capped in roles that we placed on each other.

This is a grand experiment as she will be reunited with her birth mother and father in a totally new dimension of experience.  Where does this happen on this planet?  It is so damn compelling and one that I am really excited to see where it leads.  There will be much to feel between us and that is what we are ready for.  Shai represents a new start for the SoulFullHeart community even as it too is all unknown how it will all develop. This is about redefining family from the heart up.   This a template for what could be for all birth families as each individual finds their own way and trusts the bond that exists to bring each back into more authentic heart and soul space if that is what is meant to be.

Much more to come in this new chapter of SoulFullHeart! Stay heart tuned.

If transformative healing and soul family resonates with you, I invite you to check out our website and sessions page to learn more.

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual teacher, men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.