By Jillian Vriend
Outer violence is an expression of an unhealed inner violence. If someone is acting violently, it is because there are violent feelings happening inside of them from one part of them to another.
Jillian: Hola Mother
Divine Mother: Hola Jillian
J: I feel something stirring in me and I wanted to process it with you. I am compiling the 60 days of journaling that I did with you almost exactly a year ago to put it into an ebook format soon. And Christopher shared with us this morning touching journaling that he did with you.
DM: I am here for you as I am here for everyone. What did you feel stirring in you?
J: I’m sure you know…as it feels like you track all world events…of the rioting, protesting, and looting that is going on in Ferguson, Missouri after the decision not to indict a cop in the murder of an unarmed black kid.
DM: Murder…yes. It is murder. Unjustifiable murder. But then, murder is never justified.
J: Never? What about in self defense?
DM: The situation of violence predicating more violence is never justifiable. Not in the sense of natural balance in the universe. Animals do not murder each other. They kill because they are hungry or to protect themselves or their children from being eaten. But they do not kill each other out of fear, greed, hate, abuse, corruption.
J: Ah, that point is going in. There is so much modeling from the animal world for us on how to be, yet the false self views animals only in terms of conquest. And talk about murdering something…meat is murder. Obviously, I resonate with that being vegan.
DM: As I’ve mentioned to you before, outer violence is an expression of an unhealed inner violence. If someone is acting violently, it is because there are violent feelings happening inside of them from one part of them to another.
J: We’ve experienced that in our SoulFullHeart work with people as a punisher part-shame part dynamic inside of them. It can go very deep inside of someone, like a virus that they’ve just lived with for years. A virus inherited from their parents, who had an inner or outer punishment cycle going on of their own and passed it on to their children.
DM: I understand your metaphor using a virus, but a virus is natural, where as the dynamic you speak of is not.
J: Going back to the Ferguson situation, there is something about it that is very unnerving when related to what we feel is a most likely imminent collapse of industrial society. You’ve validated that this is going to happen as what has been put out of balance needs to be put back in balance. When I see these images of people setting fire to cars and buildings, breaking into stores, blocking off bridges….I can’t imagine what intensity would be going on if they were hungry, if their bellies were empty from not getting trucked in food or they were dying of thirst when the taps get turned off.
DM: In the case of Ferguson, there are those who feel outrage; they feel that they are demanding justice. They feel that violence has been done to not just the boy who died but to them personally. But, it is still more of an idealistic protest. You are correct that if and when it gets personal, when it becomes about survival, that there is an explosive and dangerous reality coming. Much death is coming.
J: This is why we are here right now. Sitting in Mexico, about to move onto a ranch with an independent water and food source that is two hours from a major city. It’s not just fear of the violence though, Mother, or even just about self preservation. It is about feeling all these possibilities and choosing from love to make these changes. Love for the earth. Love for ourselves and those we serve love to at the ranch. Love for our bodies. Love for the animals on the ranch.
DM: Yes, as you’ve said, truly courageous actions come from love not from fear.
J: People who do not want to accept collapse have told us that we are paranoid or just coming from fear. They do not feel how it is love for ourselves and the earth and for you which drives us and motivates us. People who choose to remain in situations where they are dependent on government systems for their very survival are the ones motivated by fear. Fear of the unknown. Fear of change. Fear to be autonomous. Fear to take action.
DM: They can understand being motivated by fear. Being motivated by love is something very new. But it is the seed of every human. It is in the seed of their sacred humanity.
And you are not paranoid, but realistic. You see the situations happening around the world- the war, the death, the violence, the destruction of the earth, and you ask, “What actions can I take, both externally and internally” in response to these actions? The unrealistic person with their head in the sand may not even see what is happening, but, even if they do, they are paralyzed to even ask the question, much less take action.
J: I feel the intensity of this time we live in. I feel sadness that my own daughter is currently living in the western world in a place in an unsustainable lifestyle that I feel will become quite dangerous for her during collapse. But, I respect that she doesn’t feel or see it that way and has chosen to stay there for now. I’ve had to let go of a relationship with her right now though, as I have many others who haven’t seen and, as you said, asked the action question.
DM: I feel your loss, Jillian. I am sorry for it. I am with your daughter, watching out for her if and when she is ready to connect with me.
J: Thank you, Mother. I feel that it was so important to give her space to make her own decisions and to follow her own heart and soul desires, even if they differed from mine. This was for myself and for her, especially now that she is almost 20 years old. The feeling of collapse makes me want to buy her a plane ticket to Mexico and send it to her right this moment while it’s still possible to get out of Vancouver. But, that urge is based in my own fear rather then continuing to hold an invitation based in love for her to join us here. Plus, I know after so many years of working with people, that you can offer the invitation but then you have to let go of being attached to them accepting it.
DM: Yes, like the saying, “You can lead a horse to water but you cannot make him drink.”
J: You must know this so well. Watching your human children make such a bloody mess of everything here on earth. It must be so hard to just watch it.
DM: Moments like this, connecting with you and others who are open, makes it worth it. I am accepting of the death and rebirth cycle, Jillian, as I have offered for you to be. Humanity is going on a sacred journey, an autonomous journey, that I would not interfere with even if I could. But if someone wants to go on an alternative path to inhabit their connection with me and their sacred humanity, then I deeply and eagerly respond to that.
J: I love you, Mother. That’s what I feel most in this moment….is how much I love you. I feel that it has been your guidance and my surrender to it (mostly) that gives me the opportunity now to be safe and even a sense of joy and thrival about my life now and in the future.
DM: I love you too, beloved daughter. I am glad you connected to me as there is much in the grids in the moment with the many bon fires of violence glowing in your world. I am at each one, ready to suppress the flames if asked to.
J: Thank you, Mother.
Jillian Vriend is co-creator of SoulFullHeart Way Of Life, offers group, couples, and individual retreats at an off-grid ranch in Mexico, and is author of Under The Bloated Banyan and In The Arms Of Mother.