Category: Sacred Masculine

The Cracks Of Authenticity Let In Real Love

Published on by Gabriel HeartmanLeave a comment

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There is a moment in our lives when it all just hits the fan. The way we used to interface with the world no longer has any juice left.  The cracks in the facade start to weather, and you just can’t roll with things the way you used to.  You can’t be false. Then the only thing you can really do is shut down, go crazy, or start being honest with yourself.  This is where life gets real and that can be difficult to this part of you that has protected you and tried to find love the only way it knew how.  But it is tired and it is looking for You to come into the picture and help put it all in “order”.

When it is time to let go and get real, it can be a very uneasy process.  There are so many tricky places and conditioned responses that can send us in a wild goose chase for our golden egg of authenticity.   There are painful obstacles and trip-wire sabotage.  Yet there are also glorious movements that bring the walls down and bring in the light of real love from the core of what we truly are.  These times of deep emotional upheavals are like love magma that is looking to surface and coat the pain of what was unfelt.  With a deep spirituality, you can be held during these times by something greater than the pain.

It is going into our emotional wounding that actually gives the spiritual body its depth and meaning.  It is not at all separate, but intrinsically connected to our emotional body. We can live very content emotional and spiritual lives on the surface, but when we consciously choose to enter into something that goes to the core of our BEing we find that we have only just begun to become aware of what we really are and can be.  But as with any real growth comes the price of deep feeling and the transaction of real love.

I can feel the next layers of what eventually needs healing in my emotional body that only comes when divine timing and situation has coalesced to bring that to my awareness.  It can generally take you by surprise and create reactions that are just so perfect for where we need to go to grow.  I have times feeling a part that doesn’t want to “go there” only to assure it that what lies on the other side is more goodness and more love.

This process of emotional and spiritual maturation can be very challenging and difficult to navigate on ones own.  It is being held and guided by others, in community, that serve this very rewarding pathway.  You may find yourself in times of deep personal process that needs a bigger You to show up to, but know that is all part of what is being given to you as a gift for further deepening of emotional and spiritual consciousness.  Knowing there is Love on the other side is what keeps you going and growing.

To feel more about what this the burgeoning new way of life may have to offer you, I invite you to attend our next SoulFullHeart group call this Saturday at 11:11 AM CST.  We will be offering teachings about bridging to your emotional body and your spirituality and a guided meditation to connect with your emotional body (plus individual sharings): https://www.facebook.com/events/271320303342295

 

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual teacher, men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

What Love Wants

Published on by Gabriel HeartmanLeave a comment

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I want you to feel free my beloved

Free to be real, to be vulnerable, to be open

Free to be cautious, uncertain, and afraid

I want you to be able to let in more, not less

To let in that you are desire and desired

That you are alive and living

That you are right and not wrong

I want you to remember your value and worth

Your beauty and sensuality

Your capacity and ability

I want you to trust that you ARE lovedust

That it cannot be taken from you

Only hidden and buried

I want you to know that I know it is hard

That true and pure love can burn and hurt

That it can pierce and collapse

All you thought I was, but turned out I wasn’t

I remember how you never got what you needed

What you wanted

What mattered the most

And I remember how you needed that to remember

What you truly are

I am not going anywhere

For no matter where you go

What you do

I…will…be…there

Always

Fovever

Patient

Persistent

 

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual teacher, men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

 

Sail Away: A Poem To Beyond

Published on by Gabriel HeartmanLeave a comment

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Picture by Christian Schloe

Sail away
Away…. beyond the gravity and into your levity
Where nothing holds court other than your own limitation
Your own deprivation

You are not to be denied
Unless you feel the need to decide
That it is all too much for you to let in
The truth of your own creation

It is all so there for you to have
For you to own and mold
Into the image of your long lost dream
You buried so long ago

Don’t give up my beloved
My glorious angel and magician
For you own the key AND the door
It is a matter of choice….of believing….of trusting

Do you want to continue letting it all define you?
Instead let the possibilities imbibe you
Refine you
Deconstruct you into constructing you

Back, forward, up, and out
Beyond what the chatter is claiming of you
Of clinging to you
Afraid to losing you….unable to protect you

For you are Free
If you choose to Be
Spread that mind’s canvass to it fullest length imaginable
Open that heart to the widest aperture enjoyable

Tell the world that you are here for more
More than just what you have continued to settle for
More than the picture that was painted….
Debated…. Indoctrinated

The end of this world is the beginning of You
The unending surprise of your fear’s demise
Into the vast ocean of surrendered devotion
To the broadcast of your heart’s limitless evocation

 

Inspired by my beloved teacher and friend Raphael Awen

 

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual teacher, men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

The INvitation Of Our Truth

Published on by Gabriel Heartman1 Comment
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There can be nothing more difficult yet relieving than owning your own truth. This can be a truth that has been illuminated about yourself by some outer reflection, or it can be a truth in relation to another. To come to these truths can be a process for some, an open flow for others. Our truth, which is really about our needs and desires, may be grounded in an unhealed aspect of ourselves but that does not make it any less authentic or real for us.
 
It is letting that truth out into the space of expression that allows us to really feel how that truth resounds in our hearts and in others. This is where parts of us may balk at this truth-telling as it has many rippling effects. It can hurt hearts and shatter self-image. It can lead to suppression in the name of care-taking, which is far from Love. Love of self and of others.
 
If there is something “off” about our truth, or if it does hurt, we can be with that in the aftermath, in a way that is held with compassion and self-forgiveness. It is about taking responsibility for it in what ever way that means in a given situation. But to disown our truth, no matter how hard it is or how afraid of it we are, is to disown the part of us that holds that truth. That is to disown ourselves as being alive and real.
 
Being honest with truth has been one of the hardest parts of my process. It IS the single most important aspect to ascension in my view. By not fully feeling and expressing what is true for us, including parts of us, we are only bringing a limited version of ourselves to the Grand Ballet of Love’s Infinite Dance. Matter of fact we can’t really get through the door with only this version. We can’t really get to see ourselves and what it is that is still in our healing path to be felt. Without BEing in our truth we are still separate and ultimately in suffering. Not on the recipe card for Unity Consciousness.
 
Feeling the parts of us that relate to truth-telling from a fear place helps to unlock the doors of our deepest and truest self. It does not come without consequence and self-reflection. It is being with any guilt or self-punishment that may arise, knowing that if you are committed to being in your heart every step of the way, your truth will always lead you someplace that it wouldn’t have just sitting in the wells of your inner terrain.

 

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual teacher, men’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

The Gifts Of Exploring Conscious Romance

Published on by Gabriel Heartman1 Comment

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Our intimate relationships are sacred grounds of getting to feel and see ourselves.  We GET to experience what is rumbling inside of us that has been kept at bay in our subconscious.  These parts of us that have been living is a safety zone of incognito through the protection of our comfortability.  When our deepest desires begin to ring out into the cosmos, the mechanics of manifestation begin to offer their services.  But when they do, it is meant to bring up what is needed in order to let in what is wanted.

We aren’t completely aware of what lies in the space between what we feel consciously and what is in our unfelt wounding until we enter the arena of conscious relationship.  In unconscious unions, there are many reactions and emotions that are left untouched and unexpressed in our part’s desire to maintain image and safety.  These are sacred unions in there own right as they are meant to serve us into a new dimension of relationality when we have chosen that other sacred journey of growth and deepening.

These conscious relationships will manifest in ways that may or may not come in the ways or forms parts of us may have expected.  They come to us to help elucidate the woundings and projections that are still residing inside of us that, when held in conscious relationship inside of us through parts work, can bring us to new depths of both inner and other intimacy.  However, there can be a LOT to feel and integrate along the way.  There can be a tendency for parts to exit, to go back to what was more comfortable to them before.  This is a point where, if true growth, self-love, and intimacy are the ultimate desire, we hold these parts within us and feel what the fear is truly about.  What experiences in this or another life are contributing to the need for retraction?  These can be difficult yet necessary to feel if we are to continue on our way to more authentic, conscious, and intimate transactibility.  The way to Love!

Our vulnerable truth in any moment is our guide in this dance.  There is no guarantee we won’t step on our partners toes and cause some pain.  We aren’t meant to be perfect or “right” in the way we reveal ourselves.  In these moments, we cross bridges previously left uncrossed to change the timelines of the old and create something new.  It may not be pleasurable, yet it could lead to something more pleasurable than what parts of us were expecting or ironically afraid of in the first place.  For if the bond deepens and rises, what more is there to experience and how far might we fall as it keeps going?  This is what is really at stake for these parts of us.  Being left with the pain of being hurt once again.  Yet with a true sense of an authentic, centered self, we are big enough to feel and hold our way through the process.

Conscious romance is the next frontier for our evolution as a species.  Both inner and outer. It starts inside of us first and extends outward.  It is why we are here in many ways.  To explore this deepening and expanding that can create a new world of possibility, creativity, and aliveness.  Whatever happens in the process you can be guaranteed that you will experience and discover more about You and what it is you really want from Life and Love.

***

We will be teaching more about sacred union, offering a guided meditation, plus space for individual sharings during a Sacred Union Group call this Sunday at 11:11am CST if you would like to join us for a $11 min. donation:www.facebook.com/events/275463096260878. If you can’t join us live, we’ll be sharing a recording of the teachings and meditations here on FB.

 

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual teacher, men’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

 

Feeling Your Inner Princess Or Prince To Experience Sacred Union

Published on by Jelelle AwenLeave a comment

By Jelelle Awen

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The prince and the princess….so many images and associations come up when we feel into these archetypes and energies. The princess wanting and waiting for her ‘Prince Charming’ to come and claim her, the prince going on grand adventures and ‘fighting evil’ to find her…..this frequency is so IN our collective consciousness. I feel it represents a deeper desire and longing within us for sacred union with a courageous mate who truly claims us (not binds us, yet bonds with us) on all levels of heart, soul, mind, and body despite whatever fear-based obstacles come forward to get in the way. And, our souls and heart seem to know that this is not just a fantasy, yet IS actually possible to experience and is our birthright as sacred humans to experience too.

The Inner Prince and the Inner Princess, from a SoulFullHeart perspective, represent the parts of us that we were as teenagers and our feelings about romance and sexuality. Often, this has idealized tones inside of us (the grand romance scenario) until disillusionment sets in based on what these parts of us actually experience of relationships ourselves personally and what is templated and modeled for us by our parents’ relationships. How our parents respond to our budding sexuality and our growing curiosity about sexuality (either overly energizing it or under energizing it) also impacts if it blooms and flourishes inside of us (is watered by healthy love) or if it is suppressed.

There is something preserved in the soul it seems until this phase of ‘great disillusionment’ during teenagehood for most of us, that it also feels like is a form of Dark Night of The Soul before a deeper sense of amnesia sets in. This disillusionment pushes up feelings of depression as we realize, on an existential level, that we are ‘stuck’ here in 3D life and even a grand romance (which we are beginning to feel is highly unlikely and maybe even impossible) is not going to make it bearable to be here.

Rebellion kicks in too during this phase as parts of us may try to push away from 3D conditioning that we receive in schools and in our family cultures. The push away usually just leads to more suffering, though, and acute shame and unworthiness as parts of us just feel ‘bad’ or ‘wrong’ for being so different from ‘everyone else’. At this point, a strong Inner Protector energy may come in to create a buffer between us and the world, to help us fit in and survive being here, and start creating 3D-based personas and masks to ‘get us through it.’ The rebellion, disillusionment and especially the original seeds of hope and dreams for romance get pushed far away into the emotional body and the Inner Protector stands at guard over them, over the heart, and over the soul too.

It then becomes likely that it is our unfelt Inner Teenager who is underneath the way that we engage in romantic relationships as we get ‘older.’ This leads to emotional AND sexual immaturity, regardless of how much life experience we have in relationships. This immaturity is what can manifest push-pull, abuse, toxicity, codependence, suffering patterns, being in loveless and sexless marriages, and even being a lone wolf/monklike/celibate for long periods of time. The Inner Protector goes into ‘lock down’ around sexuality and romance, not allowing for the prince and princess energies to mature into the Queen and King that they are meant to BEcome.

I have felt these energies in facilitants and in myself over the years, connecting with and working with various teenage aspects and ultimately allowing my Inner Princess to receive the water of love that she needed from me and from the Divine to bloom into my queen. Being in sacred union with Raphael Awen, who has done similar process and feeling work with his Inner Prince, allows for the FULL expression of my mature Queen and his mature King and the deeper healing of any immaturities in both of us. I feel that without this ability to connect with parts of ourselves that are usually subconscious to us, we would probably not be able to show up for this relationship and the frequencies of deep soul, heart, body, and mental resonance in a mature way as parts of us would probably block it or sabotage it.

Connecting with your Inner Prince or Princess is such a tender and wonderful ground of exploration. We have tended to look down against ‘teenagers’ and our own teenage experience especially can be suppressed and denied, put away or ‘locked away’ because it is too painful. Going into it, exploring it, remembering it, feeling it allows us to get back in touch with our hopes, dreams, riper soul frequencies. BEing the loving energy that these parts of us have been waiting for opens up the possibilities that this can then be experienced with a mate who is engaging in the same process!

Raphael Awen and I will be teaching more about the Inner Prince and Princess, our experience with these aspects of ourselves and also offering a guided meditation to connect with your Inner Prince and Princess, plus space for individual sharings during a Sacred Union Group call this Sunday at 11:11am CST if you would like to join us for a $11 min. donation:www.facebook.com/events/275463096260878. If you can’t join us live, we’ll be sharing a recording of the teachings and meditations here on FB.

~

Jelelle Awen is an Emoto-Spiritual Teacher, Sacred Feminine and Sacred Union Facilitator, Soul Scribe, waySHOWer, and co-creator and teacher of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. She is author of Sacred Human, Arising Wonder: Ascension Through Integration Of Your Emotional Body With Your Spirituality and  Keep Waking Up! Awakening Journeys To Avalon And Beyond . Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Owning Your Truth And The Changes That Brings

Published on by Raphael AwenLeave a comment

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By Raphael Awen

Try as we may, none of us can live long on someone else’s truth.

As the events of our lives unfold, the universe calls us to claim our own truth, to stand in that truth, and to accept and take responsibility for the consequences that come with holding and living out that truth.

Vulnerably and heart open, we can now say, ‘this I believe with all my heart’, or ‘this is what feels the MOST true to me and this is what feels the most true FOR me’, while we acknowledge that we could be ‘wrong’ or that we might change our truth on any subject at any time in the future. We are simply saying ‘This is near-as-I-can-tell for me, for now’.

I began my adult life holding to an ‘absolute truth’ picture. ‘My truth’, (though I wouldn’t have called it that then), was that ‘thee truth’ was all that mattered, and anything other was the evil of ‘relative truth’ or truth without an anchor in reality.

For many, this is a necessary phase of consciousness evolution. We begin by seeing the world as outside-of-us reality that is in need of concrete, correct and safe definition. We need the world, and some form of ‘God’, and ‘God’s truth’ to be bigger than us, so we can then safely and humbly surrender to this ‘God’ (that we are actually crafting in our own image, but can’t yet see that and take responsibility for that).

As a young man, I chose this absolute truth picture as my truth and lived into it deeply, I inevitably came to the place where my truth was forced to evolve. I came to know in my own truth that ‘God’ had no insecure emotional need to have ‘subjects’ in obedience and compliance to ‘himself’. This then led to call into question one belief after another that could no longer be contained in my absolute truth picture. My entire social world that was built upon this same foundation crumbled as I shared my truth which in turn brought me to entire new vistas of life.

In this way, life takes us to the heart of our chosen beliefs and faces us with a truth telling mirror and invites us to feel what we believe and why we believe what we do. We see in this mirror a reflection of our actual maturity level and next places that life and love is wanting to take us. We come to feel and see that underlying every single belief we hold dear is a reflection of what’s true in our emotional body. Then we see this truth reflected out perfectly in our relationship playouts as life then gives us the opportunity to courageously own our emerging truth and live into the changes this brings.

Beliefs are about a ‘contest’ of 2 or more opposing ideas; a ‘dual’ if you will, based in the ‘duality’ of more than one possibility. While our highest upstream soul reality is a ‘non-dual’ one, where there is only oneness and no need or basis for any duals and contests, we chose to enter this world and expression of duality for a profound reason. My truth is that all duality eventually leads us back to complete and total oneness. However the path to this naturally maturing oneness is through discovering and claiming our individual truths and taking the paths that our truth presents us with. Now, we come to the very enlarged place where we realize that all is love, that every difference is contained in love, and this enlarged place is somehow so very much more than even the oneness place we began this journey from.

What is your truth? What do you feel about life, and love and the universe that isn’t any kind of a convenient copy and paste of other people’s beliefs, or perspectives on life? Are there things you deeply believe, but feel to keep to yourself in a given relationship or situation? What would no longer hiding your truth self-lovingly look like?

This then brings the question too of ‘What opposing beliefs do parts of yourself hold inside of you?’ Can you feel each one of these parts of you and their reason for holding their truth as they do? What would ending this civil war inside look and feel like going forward?

How would your life change if you vulnerably ‘owned’ your truth and accepted the consequences and changes that brought to your life?

Your truth is wanting to move you into new places and relationships to life in many profound ways.

The way, the truth and the life is contained in you.

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.Visit  www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. You can make a one time donation to SoulFullHeart at https://www.paypal.me/supportsoulfullheart or visit our Patreon page to become a monthly supporter: https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Feeling What Is Real On Father’s Day

Published on by Jelelle AwenLeave a comment

By Jelelle Awen

fatherson

It is father’s day. I didn’t really track this as I haven’t had a father figure in my life for many years by choice. Yet, I know that many ‘celebrate’ this day and their fathers and dads. I put celebrate in quotes because perhaps, on many levels, there may not be much to celebrate about your relationship with your father. It can be a sticky thing often, as it is with mothers too, to perhaps ‘show up for mom or dad’ out of obligation rather than based on what you most authentically want and desire.

Even if you want to celebrate your birth father today, the questions you could ask are to illuminate the relationship are, “What is my emotional truth about my relationship with my father?” “What do I (and parts of me) really FEEL about being with him?” “Is it a part of me which is ‘doing’ the role of son or daughter?” “Does my spirituality and my truths about reality get put aside when I spend time with my dad and how does this make me feel?”

Even if you consciously feel that your relationship with your father is a good and healthy one, I offer that unless you BOTH have done personal healing work plus awakening soul frequencies to connect around, healing the karmic frequencies of your soul legacy together…..it is a bond that is probably mostly based on lower frequencies, codependence, usually buried deep in the subconscious and emotional body. To be REAL about this relationship and how it has impacted you is the start of awakening beyond it.

For women who are desiring to embody their sacred femininity, deconditioning from the templating of their birth fathers can be important to the process. Deconditioning looks like feeling inside yourself how his templating around how he responded to you AS a woman, LIVES inside of you and influences parts of you. Also, feeling the ‘ideas’ that he modeled to you about what it means to be a man responding to a woman, your sexuality (either over or under energized) and especially his relationship with your mother and how he treats her. ALL of this goes into you energetically and parts of you are impacted by it. How you feel and relate with men is impacted by this relationship with father. Distant or overly involved….push/pull or energetically ‘mating’….these frequencies create textures inside, energies inside, that play out then in relationships.

For men, the way that they currently relate to men and within relationships with women too can be connected to their relationships with their birth father and how HE relates to both. This can play out in parts that are pushing away from the disconnected father or the overly involved father or the critical father energies, which then get internalized inside, or have BEcome an internal father with similar tones. Your originally ideas and sense of ‘what it means to be a man’ come from the source of your father.

On Father’s Day, I feel appreciation for the crucible of growth and reflection of my shadow side (and some leading edge sides although not much) that my fathers offered to me. I had one birth father who left my life when I was very young and two stepfathers after that with very mixed experiences and emotional abuse frequencies with one of them. It has been my healthiest and highest choice not to be in relationship with them for many years as we went on different paths around emotional body healing and soul awakening (which I chose deeply, following my soul purpose here.) I feel love for them all on the soul level and can connect there with their higher selves in moments even as we are not in relationship here.

I feel appreciation mostly though for myself and my commitment to HEAL what was wounded and harmed (all my choice on a soul level) by the dysfunction and toxicity represented in these relationships with fathers. I became a sort of father to all parts of me (and mother too) who so needed nurturing and support and comfort and so was able to hold space for my own healing. I held my inner child especially around this, until her wounded and hurt frequencies transmuted into magical 4D and eventually 5D crystal light energies.

My gratitude and appreciation also goes toward the Divine Father (which I experience primarily through the energies of Archangel Metatron and Christiel/Yeshua too) and all the frequencies for which He offers His heart and comfort to heal these woundings within us around these relationships. It has been the loving Divine Father frequencies (not like the patriarchal punishing God of religions) that come through that has provided and templated for me what it means to be fathered as a sacred feminine woman here during this intense time of transition and invitation into our sacred humanity. And it is this energy for which my deepest sense of daughter extends….

The invitation here is to feel what is real within your relationship with your father and to lead with this realness and vulnerability to see what can unfold and arise and what cannot between you. To feel into perhaps taking space from the relationship in order to BE with the parts of you that need to receive a NEW template of fatherly energies from you and with the Divine to go deeper into your own growth, your own BEing, and your sacred humanity.

Here is an article I wrote on Mother’s Day that inspired this one: https://soulfullheartblog.com/2017/05/14/feeling-what-is-real-on-mothers-day/

~

Jelelle Awen is an Emoto-Spiritual Teacher, Sacred Feminine and Sacred Union Facilitator, Soul Scribe, waySHOWer, and co-creator and teacher of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. She is author of Sacred Human, Arising Wonder: Ascension Through Integration Of Your Emotional Body With Your Spirituality and  Keep Waking Up! Awakening Journeys To Avalon And Beyond .

Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

On ‘Father’s Day’: The Process Of Letting In Sacred Masculine Frequencies

Published on by Kasha Rosa1 Comment

by Kalayna Colibri

cosmic sun

 

I feel Him offering me His arms when my heart aches for a mate connection. I feel Him offering me His heart when parts of me need healthy ‘dad’ energy. I feel Him energizing healthy sexuality and beholding of me as woman. I feel Him in my beloved male friends and teachers in SoulFullHeart, offering me connections with men who aren’t afraid to go INward, seeking and finding parts and soul aspects of them that need healing, with an undying curiosity and love that then gets to overflow to me in connection with them. I have experienced so much healing and softening because of the love I get to share with these men who look at their shadows and bring love to me that is clean.

Yet it wasn’t always this way for me.

In 2011, my birth father passed away. His passing was a year before I started my SoulFullHeart process, and yet even then I had a sense of reality around my relationship with my father… that many tones and frequencies that I needed as a growing, budding woman were missing in my relationship with him. I experienced a lot of intense grief when he died, and over time I began to realize that some of this grief wasn’t really about losing ‘him’ but about lost opportunities in our relationship. Parts of me were actually quite angry with him for having ‘bailed’ before he ever became the father to me that he could have been. I’ve had process too around how he could never really see me, especially as a woman, and how he hadn’t been able to energize anything healthily towards me about my budding sexuality, offering me no healthy template for what I was looking for in a mate. I don’t hold my father in contempt around any of this anymore, as this was clearly a contract we both signed up for and quite frankly it feels like without these and many other voids and gaps in our relationship this life, maybe I wouldn’t have been as compelled towards the growth trajectories I’ve now been on that have made me who I am today.

Letting in the Sacred Masculine in the form of guides and as I mentioned, sacred friendship, vulnerable teacher/student, (and soon!) a sacred union relationship, has been a deep process for me of feeling through these ways in which my own father couldn’t ‘show up’, feeling how this relates for parts of me to the Divine Father and also to mates, and working with ‘inner father’ frequencies of patriarch and also masculine protectors. I’ve had blocks to truly being able to see, feel and experience the sacred masculine in its beautiful willingness to get messy and tangle with whatever it needs to in order to discover itself anew, its ability to feel and embrace the sacred feminine without wounded frequencies of control, belittling, distancing, or abuse of any kind, and its embracement of the mirror that allows it to go back into itself, finding the shadow pieces it needs and wants to work, coming out the other side with even more sense of personal power and potency. The sort of masculine frequencies that make you go ‘RAWR!’ in response to its lovingly penetrative energy and melt into its open-hearted desire for you to be the woman you are meant to be, in all of your curves and softness and self-discovery and healing of your own, in response, in an exquisite partnered dance, through leaning into the organic (and orgasmic) leadership of the authentic and vulnerable King…

It does feel as if we can miss out on letting in these incredible energies, even as they knock on our heart doors, wanting to come into us, to love up our entire being, if we aren’t willing to look at our relationship with our birth fathers. It’s a brave journey and one that can be quite hard too, yet with the right support from those who have been there, like those of us in SoulFullHeart, it is held in the sacredest of spaces and at a rate and pace that you and your parts are ready for. The yumminess of what I am able to let in more and more now, only lights me up more as I continue to feel it and feel the unfolding mystery of its unfolding in my life. There is no single definition that describes it and in its ever arising love and creativity, I feel so much warmth and comfort for my healing woman’s heart and my ever-deepening femininity. I feel how this could be true for all women who embrace the process of feeling the mark of their birth fathers and also other masculine influences in their lives, but I also feel this for men, who so feel to be aching for something missing inside of themselves that they long to experience, that is so different than how their own fathers were or are.

The sacred masculine wants to offer you space to explore yourself within it, providing a dock for your self-made container for all of the YOU-ventures that await you. And if it’s truly ‘time’ for you to do so, you won’t be able to ignore the clarion call of the fire and love it wants to gift you with to help you illuminate and be with your personal process of opening your ever-healing heart. ❤

 

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Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, writer, and poetess. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

 

Feeling the Inner Child, Healing the Inner Father

Published on by Gabriel HeartmanLeave a comment

 

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As men, our fathers represent, or have represented, so much of what we have been “taught” about what masculinity is.  They were a template for us at an early age.  Our model for what we could expect to embody as man in a masculine world.  They also influenced us in how we see and feel the feminine through their eyes and hearts.  They taught us how to fight or run away.  To speak the truth or keep it all buried.  Our worldview has been formed through their own, in response to his father and his father before him, whether in agreement or opposition.

We were meant to be shown the doorways to our own unfolding through his guided wisdom and open heart.  We were meant to be initiated into our own individuated masculinity with a healthy “F you” to him.  He would have honored that had he been taught the same.  I have a sadness in my heart actually on this day.  What is it that is being truly celebrated?  What has happened to our sense of healthy masculinity and how it lives inside of us, both as men and women?

My sadness is both personal and global.  A desire from a part of me to have had a different relationship with my father that wasn’t based in fear or unhealthy idolization. How boys everywhere are looking for an authentically loving and guiding force to shape and challenge them to thrive in an unknowable world.  But in this place there has arisen a passion for something new.  A desire to heal that inside myself for all boys and fathers.

It is about traveling inward to find our deepest truths about ourselves and feeling the inner boy, or girl, in us that was affected, not victimized, by our father’s actions and choices.  To hold space for them within us as a new model for healthy fatherly guidance and security.  To bring our truths and boundaries to our fathers that allows for an invitation for something different and more authentic, if the space for that is possible. Regardless of the relationship outcome, something has moved in the collective heart grid between father and child that allows space for others to do the same and shift a dynamic that has long been overdue.

Our relationship to our parents can by murky territory.  It is full of karmic binds and contracts that have long served there purpose.  It is time for something new and alive. This is true even with my own daughter as she comes back into my life after a few years separation.  A new ground in which we have let go of the old conditioning to build something new as two distinct individuals.  I am sure old energies will surface and that is what we are here to work together.  I look forward to how we navigate this new dynamic between us and what arises between us both.  She is a teacher to me as much as she is a student.

I invite you to feel on this day the relationship you have or had with your father and feel how it lives in you.  We can have such a healing experience within ourselves when we are able to see it and feel it that way.  Our inner father has a voice and it is meant to be a guide and a teacher when we are able to feel him in all that he needs to be felt in.

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual teacher, men’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.