By Raphael Awen
Deep, potent, powerful transformation is available to all of us, but this accelerated and conscious version of our growth, only occurs as we are willing to go inward to transparently and vulnerably feel our fears.
Growth and forward momentum is guaranteed whether we choose this accelerated path or not, as we are all immersed in the learning and growth vehicle we call life, and it’s wired for growth and the ultimate and ongoing reconciliation with the divine that we are. But some of us are just impatient!
We have so many levels of growth and learning that await us, but for now, our primary familiar level of conscious awareness on this earth plane is our gateway to the higher ones we crave and yearn for. If that’s true, then what you have probably felt was a hindrance to your awakening is actually instead the opportunity for it.
If we can choose a surrender over a success kind of mindset; reconciliation over attainments; stewarding over possessing, then we get closer to where what before felt like blocks, hindrances and missing capacities, are now readily transmuted into portals to the real and truer thing that’s underneath the attachments to the false thing. Here you are presented with what you really want.
This should be a big sigh of relief as you toss out all the technique based how to manuals that only ultimately helped you run out of gas for the self discipline (torture) picture of spirituality. Your time of slaving in return for breadcrumbs of your essence is over if you are ready for it to be over.
Somewhere next in here, you are faced with the challenge of having what you really want, which you before assumed was instant bliss, goodness and happiness and instead are surprised to see that even here, negotiation and adjustment are needed.
Parts of you are losing a familiar territory where they learned to live in some dimension of lack, and they need to be embraced and honored for the service they’ve given and the posts they’ve held. Their reactions are actually the keys to the portal through these reactions – reactions are movements, not something to be overcome or worse yet, ‘mastered’. The only place the word mastery deserves a place in your lexicon is the mastery of surrender, which is not the attainment of personal power over something, but instead the letting go of that now false, and maybe once treasured power, into the power ‘under’ something, the power that underlies and animates all things, that can’t be attained, only surrendered into. That’s good news because falling is a whole lot easier than climbing, yes?!
It’s crazy making to get so much closer to the bliss you wanted and chose only to find more formidable blocks that make you wonder why you set out on this journey in the first place.
I believe what you and I are carrying deep within us is 2 divine programs, if I could call them that. These are benevolent programs that we actually not only agreed to, but were also the creators of, and also the why of why we were willing to be individuated from the divine from oneness into this twoness/duality where we retained everything we once were, but also agreed to these 2 paths or journeys of forgetting and remembering in it all.
The forgetting and remembering that you and I are playing out, we are playing it out together, with each of us at different stages, but all dependent and connected to one another. No one arrives home until all arrive home.
The forgetting program involves a deep wound, an ache that calls for our attention. This wound is the separation wound, where both consciously, but mostly unconsciously, we carry and express an inner knowing of something lost, something so precious that we almost wish we never knew of such goodness, for the pain that a single ounce of this remembering piques in us.
But this program alone without a countering program would be pure torture. The other program we have and possess is the program to remember. I believe your and my full remembrance of everything we lost is not only baked in the cake, but this remembrance even excels the original state we forfeited and takes it into ongoing creative expansion of more. This is the what and the why our souls embraced this plan with such abandon.
We knew that for the divine to have the opportunity to meet and get to know itself for the first time would be a sacred union like no other. The divine couldn’t do this without forgetting and remembering, and it decided to do it billions of times over and over with individuated consciosness’s called you and me.
The heights of our tension though is at these crazy making points where our surrender into the crazy is asked for. This is the process of death and rebirth. Something that once lived, breathed and had purpose and meaning is dying, concluding, wrapping up, preparing to breathe its last and it needs someone to hold space, a hospice kind of space, an open heart space for it to wrap up. This is pieces and parts of you that are transmuting through death and rebirth even as your physical body and name address on the planet has continuity.
This is where time spent in palliative care and the nursery of your inner hospital often occurs on the same day as you participate in goodbyes and hellos to old you and new arising you.
I invite you to embrace the separation wound as it lives in you and however it is currently expressing in your life circumstances. Here you will find is where the remembering is also happening in the fullest swing you can self lovingly handle, where every piece has time and space to be savoured, honored and transmuted.
Here is your greatest service of love, which helps you recognize your unique youness, which is integral to reuniting fully with the divine without losing yourself in the divine. The divine wants union which is about 2 coming together, over and over again. This means you never lose your individuality. It only keeps shifting and changing into more. You’ll need more you to be in this kind of union.
We need each other to get on with this more and more as each of our attainments are a co-op kind of shared agreement of ownership. Your gain is mine and vice versa.
I hope this lands in you as an answer to some deep questions you’ve been asking. I felt some distress calls as I was writing this today.
Jelelle Awen and I are hosting a group call this Sunday to connect more around the separation wound which will get into more of this, in a heart and feeling space with others, where something magical always occurs for everyone present. I’d like to invite you if this calls to you. Details here: https://www.soulfullheart.org/events 
And there’s also our free SoulFullHeart Portal to climatize more to these energies and fellow inclined people. You can join here:
https://soulfullheartportal.mn.co/
Thank you for reading and thank you for connecting.
Much love,
Raphael
It even got cool enough this week to break out the toques, which has been a rare thing this warm winter here in central Portugal. This is at the Mondego river which runs through Coimbra city, Portugal’s third largest (if I’m not mistaken), a place we go for some adventure at times and new shoes, which we found for Jelelle!
Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit soulfullheart.org for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc.
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