Tag: Ascension

A Love Story: Part Three (In The Midst Of Love)

Published on by Raianna ShaiLeave a comment

By Raianna Shai

The following writing is one very close to my heart. These are actually lyrics to a song I wrote in that phase of a relationship when it’s been long enough that you know each other inside and out. Your friendship is formed and the romance is alive. I’m not exactly a lyrical genius but it came from my heart and I don’t often write songs!

A relationship based on mutual growth and healing requires a sharing of the innermost tender and vulnerable parts of you. You begin to understand when and why walls come up or what triggers stress and anxiety in them. You notice the little things that you love about them and what makes their heart truly glow. The bond deepens from physical infatuation to deep and growing trust and respect.

This is the time when comfort begins to sink in. You no longer have to work hard to try and win them over, you don’t feel so self conscious about yourself or your habits, you feel a sense of calm and hope that your feelings for them can last. This is the phase that we long for! The fire still burns yet you feel at home within the bond.

We work hard inside and out to get to this place but ultimately, getting here is the easy part. The next part is trickier. Retaining your mutual growth, passion, respect and love for each other is the truly difficult part. Choosing everyday to understand yourself so that you can continue to be vulnerable, honest and real together. I’ll talk more about this on my next post 💞

———————————————————————

A Love Story: Part Three
In The Midst Of Love

You make me and my
Whole heart smile when you
Look at me that way

You make me wanna be a
Better person, each and
Every single day

I know that It’s not
Easy being here
But I’m glad that you are

I wanna make you
Happy dear because you
Shine just like the stars

~ Chorus ~
I’ll hold your inner child’s hand
As we run under the moon
I’ll soothe your guard’s worried looks
And soon he’ll make me swoon

Your punisher is next
And him I’ll love the most
Your feminine will help me show
How our hearts can be so close

~~~

The moment you feel
Lost and lonely know that
You are not alone

Even when the
Earth starts shakin look
Inside to find you’ve grown

I know that it’s not
Easy being here
But it’s worth a try

I wanna make me
Happy dear because our
Love can reach the sky

~ Chorus ~

And when we start to touch the soul
Our bond will deepen evermore
My dream is to get close to you
Be intimate and break right through

~ Chorus ~

Love,
Raianna Shai

~~~

Raianna Shai is a SoulFullHeart facilitant and website designer for SoulFullHeart Healing, a healing process and paradigm offering New Gaia Ascension frequencies to transmute trauma into love on emotional/spiritual/physical levels. For more information about free consultations and 1:1 individual sessions with SoulFullHeart Facilitators, writings/books, and videos, visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com.

2022 Intentions Guided Meditation: Video 1 – Deepen 2022 Series (Video) | Raphael & Jelelle Awen

Published on by Jelelle AwenLeave a comment

Here it is! The first video in our 31 Day Video Series Deepen 2022 to connect you to your INtentions for the New Year!

In this first video, Raphael and I connect to the number ‘2’ with its feminine frequencies offering union and balance. We share with you about the difference we feel between tuning into intentions for the new year and the standard New Year Resolutions, which can have a self punishing and will power/forceful energy to them. Intentions arise from within and then manifest outwardly. 

During the guided meditation, we offer some cleansing energies to your field and body. You then pull in memories from 2021 that come up in the moment for you to respond to and clear. You may have feelings come up as you digest 2021 and what you experienced during it as it was a challenging and catalytic year (unprecedented!) for so many souls. You are invited to feel and energize INtentions that you have for the next year 2022 in the areas of service of love, relationships, geography, and whatever else comes UP. Divine Mother and Divine Father join us as Divine Feminine/Masculine guides (in whatever forms you experience them in), offering frequencies of wisdom and clarity on the soul and heart levels.

INjoy the experience of just feeling whatever this new year means for you and to you as you move into it.

Thank you for joining us on this first day of 31….as we move into Deepening energies together…..one beloved part of us at a time! We’d love to have you share here in the comments the experience you have during this video and also any questions that come up during the video. 

You can watch each video in the Deepen 2022 playlist on our SoulFullHeart Experience You Tube Channel here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FZWeBviA18Y&list=PLNmrHdaQSAvJPnLzbEKl4OsQBXBYw2XwI&t=0s

For more information about the Deepen 2022 series including a full listing of the content covered over the 31 videos and information about our two Deepen 2022 group calls on January 16th 30th, visit http:/www.soulfullheart.org/Deepen2022.

For more information about the SoulFullHeart quantum healing process, Jelelle Awen’s latest book Free To Be 5D, writings, videos, and information about SoulFullHeart community events, visit http://www.soulfullheart.org.

For more information about a free consultation call to find out more about 1:1 sessions with SoulFullHeart Facilitators Jelelle Awen, Raphael Awen, Gabriel Amara, and Kasha Rokshana, visit http://www.soulfullheart.org/sessions

We are offering this series for free of charge, yet we would be so grateful if you offered an energy exchange/donation to us for the value you receive in this series. You can donate through paypal: http://paypal.me/jelelleawen or at https://www.soulfullheart.org/shop

A Love Story: Part Two (Falling In Love)

Published on by Raianna ShaiLeave a comment

By Raianna Shai

The next part of this story is the part that we tend to spend our lives looking for: falling in love. The new and exciting rush of meeting someone that has an equal interest in us as we do in them. A new pair of eyes to see you, new ears to hear your passions and desires, new hands to touch the lonely and unloved parts of you inside and out. It sparks a hope in us that nothing like love can. We hope that this person will be the one we can grow with, who will understand us and treat us the way we’ve always dreamed of being treated.

More importantly than this outside love is what it sparks inside of us. It can allow us to love ourselves more than ever before while also bringing up our deepest insecurities. We begin by showing the brightest and shiniest parts of ourselves, hoping that will win them over. The way we enter a relationship is so telling of where we are at on the inside.

I remember the moment I wrote this poem, sitting under a tree staring out at the water. I felt elated and overcome by pure hope and love. I looked up at the leaves and they looked brighter than usual, almost as if they were glowing. In that moment I remembered feeling this way before. And then I remembered it fading and eventually leaving me completely. But it didn’t matter. Feeling it again reminded me of why we continue to search for this feeling over and over again even when it leads to pain or heartbreak.

This feeling is a reminder of what we are capable of feeling, with or without another person. All someone else can do is illuminate what’s possible in our own hearts and souls. Each relationship gets us closer and closer to this feeling of ecstasy and love inside of ourselves and without another person. We can feel this way with the divine, with our own inner parts, with our inner sacred union.

Without heartbreak, shadow and pain we cannot understand what it truly feels like to be in love and peace from the inside out. 💛

———————————————————————

A Love Story: Part Two
Falling In Love

This feeling of falling in love
With you and
With every part of me
Is like coming home

This is what my soul knows
What it’s been waiting to come back to
To feeling nourished
To feeling loved from the inside out
To loving the outside in

I see your face and smile
And even if it doesn’t work out
This feeling right here, right now
Is worth it all
This is what it’s all about

Freezing this moment and remembering
This is what we work so hard to get back to
This is why we dive deep
This is why we feel our shadow

Love,
Raianna Shai
SoulFullHeart Way Of Life

~~~

Raianna Shai is a SoulFullHeart facilitant and website designer for SoulFullHeart Healing, a healing process and paradigm offering New Gaia Ascension frequencies to transmute trauma into love on emotional/spiritual/physical levels. For more information about free consultations and 1:1 individual sessions with SoulFullHeart Facilitators, writings/books, and videos, visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com.

A Love Story: Part One (Heartbreak & Healing)

Published on by Raianna ShaiLeave a comment

By Raianna Shai

I woke up this morning with the urge to create through writing but couldn’t quite figure out what I wanted to write about. I started scrolling through the notes in my phone and found several writings I wrote over the past two years that really brought me back to the moment and phase they were written. Interestingly, I found 6 pieces that seemed to represent a cycle from beginning to end and back to the beginning again.

This cycle in particular represented the phase of the ending of a relationship, to the beginning of a new one, to the end once again. It felt like a really beautiful arc of letting in and letting go and everything that goes on in between. I felt myself recognizing the patterns of relationships and realizing that even when things come to an end, they are so worth the journey in and out.

This isn’t just true for romantic relationships but for careers, geographical moves, finding your soul purpose, healing a trauma and moving into your next phase of growth. As humans, we continually go through cycles in every part of our lives and the only thing we can do is become conscious of them. After a death of a phase you may wonder, what’s the point? But looking back you may notice how much has changed from beginning to end.

Falling in love is beautiful, messy, painful, exhilarating and everything in between but just like any other death and rebirth, it’s so important in facilitating our growth. Each layer brings new realizations and understanding of what it means to find love and purpose in these human and divine lives of ours. We cannot exist without cycles, for without them we cannot understand the gift of being human.

To show what I mean I thought I would share these 6 writings as a marker of each layer that these cycles can illuminate and provide. Particularly in the context of relationships. The first one I felt to share is both the ending of one relationship and the beginning of another. Marking the phase of overlapping death and rebirth ❤️

———————————————————————

A Love Story: Part One
Heartbreak & Healing

I sit here
Gathering the pieces of my heart
Trying to glue them back together
The mismatched edges
And sharp corners
Almost fitting perfectly
And then not at all

You wait there
Patiently watching my broken pieces
That long for that perfect edge’s embrace
Slowly come together
All the while knowing
That one day I will come

I will come with just enough pieces
To hold together the contents of my love
When I am still chipped, but no longer broken

You are there
With your chipped pieces
Already glued together
With as much accuracy as truth can allow

And we come together
Look at that!
Our broken pieces create a mosaic of lost loves and tearful goodbyes
Not perfect, but beautiful all the same

Love,
Raianna Shai
SoulFullHeart Way Of Life

~~~

Raianna Shai is a SoulFullHeart facilitant and website designer for SoulFullHeart Healing, a healing process and paradigm offering New Gaia Ascension frequencies to transmute trauma into love on emotional/spiritual/physical levels. For more information about free consultations and 1:1 individual sessions with SoulFullHeart Facilitators, writings/books, and videos, visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com.

Solstice Offers Digestion Of The Dark Night Phase Into Light That We Are In During The V. Narrative

Published on by Jelelle AwenLeave a comment

By Jelelle Awen

The day after Solstice and I still feel the VERY catalytic energies of the shortest day/longest night moving through. I was deep in a painful period cycle yesterday, which sometimes can be a gift of access to other dimensions. I felt myself and my womb naturally tuning into the death and rebirth process going on right now.

There is an importance during this death and rebirth phase of Ascension to let the darkness ‘do its work’ in a surrendered way. This includes not resisting feelings of grief and mourning especially, which can be powerful teachers as we embrace them rather than resist.Humanity and many awakening souls have been going through a ‘Dark Night’ process in order to emerge in even more embodied ways out of the false light of the Matrix and into the TRUE light of our Divine Self essence. Others are choosing to leave their bodies and Gaia as she ascends. This is always a choice on the soul level, even as it can seem like a forced one in 3D reality.

The Dark Night process has been expressed in the C. and V. narrative over the last almost two years. The experience of ongoing restriction of personal sovereignty and choices; the ‘dark medicine’ being offered as cure; the ‘scariants’ being using to amp up fear through mainstream media propaganda; the censorship of free expression; and the division this is all illuminating in many relationships/families and from within.

It feels as if the next group of souls to awaken and unplug are those who reluctantly took the V. with serious doubts and under extreme pressure from others. They may now be in remorse and regret about getting the V. as they realize that the control restrictions to daily life continue and more people become seriously ill/perish from it.

As each soul is confronted with this Dark Night reality, they are invited to move out of the false light of the Matrix mainstream culture and False Light Spirituality/False God through a self forgiveness process offered by the Divine. They are invited into the Dark Night of the real/waking up/taking the red pill and then into the embodiment of their Divine Self and 5D reality from within. This is a painful process to be sure, yet a necessary one to emerge into New Earth reality with the Divine Self sovereignly seated in our expression and experience of daily life.

I feel that what the Winter Solstice especially offers is an invitation into the inner spaces to feel this process of Dark Night transformational process into the True Light. Sometimes those spaces are in shadow that can only be explored when outside life is more quiet and the being goes still. There are always gifts in the shadow when we no longer resist it and instead move through it, embracing with love whatever we experience.

Raphael and I will be offering many inner journeys into the depths of your emotional body, soul field, shadow, Gatekeeper/Metasoul realms, Star Being, and I Am Divine Presence during our upcoming Deepen 2022 video series. It will start on January 1st with a free daily video release each day and two group calls by donation on the 16th and 30th.

We are feeling that engaging in this Deepen 2022 series and where it takes you will assist with your ongoing unplugging process from the False Matrix into embodiment of your essence as the Divine in human form. This feels like the most valuable gift we can offer at this time. There is more info about the series and group calls at soulfullheart.org/deepen2022.

The darkness has long reigned in the shadows of the control matrix and NOW it is becoming visible and obvious to more and more souls. This revelation allows for the light to come in, for love to transmute, and each soul to be freed if ready.

Much love to you from the Winter Solstice gateway as we move into Christ-Mas,

Jelelle Awen

More info about 1:1 sessions with me and other Facilitators, group call events, writings/books, joining our free online community Portal…..at soulfullheart.org.

Choosing The Path Of Love And Growth

Published on by Raianna ShaiLeave a comment


by Raianna Shai

I’ve been in Portugal for over a month now and with so much changing for me in this transition, I felt like it was time to digest it all through writing. We’re currently in a timeline that has caused so many of us to rethink where we are in our lives. Life as we’ve known it is coming to a close and it has come time to reevaluate what is truly and deeply important to each of us as unique souls.

For those who don’t know, I left Canada last month to be with my soul family and community, SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. I spent a year physically away from them exploring my own independent journey of relationship, growth, maturation and self discovery. I had gotten to the point where doing emotional healing work was so hard for me to do alone and remain consistent with. Parts of me wanted the easy way out – to just live life and use various mediums to distract and medicate any sadness or loss of purpose I felt inside of myself.

I’m more than grateful for this phase of my life though as it taught me how to deeply love another, advocate for my needs, re-sparked my desire for independence and also led me to discovering what was really most important for me and my soul.

Healing with the soulfullheart process is not easy, healing trauma and pain never is. It’s so much easier to stay in what’s comfortable and already well known. But what brought me back to it stronger than ever is the idea that any ounce of love that I am able to give to myself is another ounce of love that exists in the world. Every time we heal something deep inside of ourselves it affects the collective in a big way. The way my community can really see and feel me is something that I wish everyone on the planet could experience. And it’s something that everyone deserves.

So as hard as it is for parts of me to feel like I deserve this love or that I’m big enough to show up for this process, I remind myself of the bigger purpose here. We aren’t just healing for ourselves, we’re healing for the world.

Love,

Raianna Shai

Being Part Of ‘The Great Arising’

Published on by Kasha RosaLeave a comment

by Kasha Rokshana

“You are the Great Arising. 

It is different than the Great Awakening. 

It’s what happens as you move into the Higher Heart space as you awaken. It is the embodiment of your Divine Self (as you step through and into the process of this embodiment).

There’s nothing here to achieve. Yet, there is so much MORE to arise into, rooted always in the heart.”

~ Divine Mother

I feel this invitation and its many layers this morning in particular. This morning, that like many recent mornings and perhaps mornings throughout human history, will lead into a day which for many will feel like suffering to some degree. For such is the state of the world both inside and out… the hiding, the fighting, the pushing and pulling. 

I feel how the cries of the world can seem cinematic in moments and can feel like it’s something happening ‘out there’ rather than anything I am (or any of us who live in a more removed/remote space are) personally involved in so much. The gravitas though of feeling what’s moving through the world and what my own soul has experienced of the world is not something to put away for too long. The invitation calls and I go… and I’ll be going into it deeper still.

I feel the love and grace of the Divine reminding us all that no matter what it is we feel ready to feel in our own inner worlds or in the outer one, we are infinitely held. It’s the letting in of that holding that can truly be the challenge. And the letting in of the Divine’s tears for all of us as it feels us and holds us in its heart is the sort of stuff that blows the heart wide open.

As the sun rays float through my window in this moment as I write this, I’m reminded too of the beacons of hope and love that we all have the capacity to become. This sort of embodiment is not transcendent but deeply alchemical and alive, offering us invitation after invitation to keep feeling what needs us in our inner worlds while feeling connected still to the outer. 

I’ve not ever been able (in this lifetime) to transcend feeling. The bigger piece here for my process has always been about opening up to feeling others deeper and not only myself and my own parts/soul aspects. The compassion from myself to others is ever-deepening, especially when boosted by Divine invitation, inner movements, and holding space for others, which all remind me again and again of how important the inner work is, but also how important the overflow from that inner work is.

To truly arise as Sacred Humans, this process has its downturns and upticks, its wobbles and its straight lines. It’s a chaotic mess at times and extreme bliss at others. It’s the holding of hope and love, expanding out into true forgiveness and compassion toward self and others, and it’s the most humbling thing I’ve ever witnessed and experienced. 

We ARE the Great Arising, as Mother offers. We are expanding beyond ‘awakening’ and moving into much deeper things that in some ways haven’t been lived into by humanity yet. 

As our souls and hearts arise together as one in each of us and all together, we experience what is becoming so possible to truly embody…

Love,

Kasha & Divine Mother

Photo is of my altar which I light every morning for meditation/Divine & inner connection time!

***

Kasha Rokshana is a Divine Feminine Love Ambassador, SoulFullHeart Women’s Facilitator, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheart.org for more information about space holding sessions and free 45-min intro calls, group calls, videos, community, etc. 

Digestion Of My Visit To Fatima’s Marian Apparition Sacred Sites

Published on by Jelelle Awen2 Comments

By Jelelle Awen

I’ve needed a couple of days to digest our recent visit to the sacred sites in nearby Fatima, Portugal as quite a bit was activated within my soul by going there. Nearby the town of Fatima is where one of the most famous Marian apparition visits occurred in 1917 when three rural children Lucia Santos and her cousins Francisco and Jacinta Marto experienced several visits with Mother Mary.

Many pilgrims flocked to Fatima and Aljustrel (the nearby village where they lived) to witness the visits as word of them spread, which occurred for six months on the 13th of the month. They culminated with the Miracle of the Sun event on October 13th, 1917, in which over 70,000 people reported significant shifts in the location, light quality, and intensity of the sun during this visit.

Only the three children could actually see Mother Mary and only the two girls could see AND hear her, yet many people reported being able to feel a sacred presence during her visits. Some pilgrims reported healings of disease and disabilities as well.

You can feel from the photos I’ve shared the massive scale and size of the group of Catholic religious buildings and structures in Cova da Iria that honors these visits. These sacred sites, including the nearby preserved houses of the children, draws several million pilgrims/tourists every year and thousands during the main processional days on the 13th of May and October.

The Basilica of Our Lady of the Rosary built in the 1950s is a massive church with beautiful marble columns and tombs containing the remains of the children’s bodies, stunning stain glass images depicting the stations of the cross, and vivid paintings and exquisitely detailed sculptures of the Marian visits.

While we were standing in the main area near the Chapel of the Apparitions, a tiny chapel that Mother Mary commissioned for them to build to honor the site of the visits, a processional began at noon with a long line of pilgrims following behind priests holding up a rose laden platform with a statue of Our Lady. As a priest with a beautiful voice sang a song to honor the Fatima visits, the whole group walked right past us and through the church area. This was a special surprise as we did not plan to see it, although it was the 13th of the month. Witnessing this processional was a moving experience for all of us as we felt devotional energies move through toward Mother Mary and the Divine Feminine. We also lit candles in honor of Divine Mother and offered prayers/blessings as well (I lit one in honor of Jacinta.)

I was previously aware somewhat of the Marian apparitions in Fatima and definitely the ones in Lourdes and Guadalupe, Mexico, yet had not connected to any in an exploratory way that could open up deeper healing. This exploration is served by being able to actually visit and take in the sacred site, as I repeatedly discovered when we were in Avalon/Glastonbury, UK and also when we went to the stone circles in the UK. I am now understanding more about why we were guided to settle here in Central Portugal where so much devout Marian energies are centered.

I started connecting in my Metasoul to a lifetime as the youngest seer and supposedly the most fervently devout child, Jacinta, a few weeks ago. I’ve been in healing spaces with her and Mother Mary, first visiting with her in the hospital where she died alone of the Spanish Flu in 1920 while in great pain and personal sacrifice (as did her brother Francisco in 1919). Mother Mary bridged to Jacinta patiently, repeatedly offering a reframe of the self condemning message of sacrificial suffering for all sinners that Jacinta had internalized during the visits.

Mother Mary shared with us that while the first visit with the children was genuine as it was only the three of them (which was Jacinta’s favorite one), the visits after that were somewhat hijacked by the Matrix False Light frequencies. The purity of Mary’s message of peace, an end to wars, and hope/love/support for ALL of humanity was distorted by this hijack and used to convert even more souls into the religious trap of self condemnation, seeking salvation outside of themselves, and False God Worship of the Papal ‘corporation’. Mother Mary offered that the Miracle of the Sun event witnessed by so many souls was also a Matrix hijack and tweak of the Matrix hologram in that moment.

Even with this hijacking and the eventual amusement park spectacle made of the events by the Catholic Church, there was still a genuine and sacred purpose to Mary coming to deliver messages to the children at this time. These children are Magdalene souls with high levels of mastery related to psychic access to higher realms. Before incarnation, there was an agreement between them and Mary Anna (as she is known as a Magdalene) for her to return and seed into them a message of peace just as the first world war was ending and before the second one. The hope was that these messages would usher in a new paradigm of peaceful resolution and diplomacy that might help avoid the second world war.

These seeds of peaceful resolution were planted by the Magdalenes into Gaia’s grids during their most important incarnational lifetime of Yeshua’s crucifixion and ascension. This seeding is beautifully and viscerally described in the Anna, Grandmother of Jesus book by Claire Heartsong that I highly recommend if you are drawn to connect to the Yeshua-Magdalene soul family lineage.

As Mother Mary’s TRUE message landed in the heart of Jacinta, her childlike innocence could return and transmute the self punishing shame that had led her to sacrifice herself. Jacinta became like the sun then, vibrantly curious and wanting to connect to other aspects of our Metasoul from other timelines and learn from them…..such as Lorna my high priestess of Avalon, and Ingrit, my witch/medicine woman. Jacinta didn’t like the ‘rules’ of the Church, so much emphasis on Hell and being condemned, the patriarchal energies of the Church, so she was fairly able to let the programming go when offered another option that was more resonant to her soul.

As with all modern visits to sacred sites and especially those so blatantly and commercially leveraged by the Church, there is a mix of both inspiration and frustration when you visit them. By going inward after the visit there in the physical, I was able to discover the core purity of the message and help free it from the hijack of the church….at least within my own soul and in whatever ways that could ripple out to the Collective.

I am so grateful for the SoulFullHeart process that I have leaned into myself for so many years as a means to lift the veils, transmute karma with love, end the suffering/self sacrificial energies within my relationship to the Divine Mother, and connect directly with these soul aspects so deeply on an ongoing basis. The richness of what our soul has experienced becomes once again accessible and also purified.

This morning, I got to host a reunion between soul sisters and cousins Jacinta and Louisa, who died in 2005 after devoting her life to being a nun in devout worship to Mother Mary. Their reunion was touching and we could connect to their bond together in Yeshua’s lifetime as two of his beloved Marys. Louisa’s healing digestion of the apparition visits was more integrated over her long lifetime, yet, also she tended to move into much self recrimination and unworthiness around being a chosen messenger of Mary’s. Connection with Jacinta now and with the TRUE frequencies of Mary Anna feel like they will offer her deep healing around this.

I am honored to be an ambassador of love to help heal and free up the message offered by the Divine Mother. All of us have a Divine Child within us that is pure, innocent, and a spark from the heart of the Divine. As our Divine Child heals from their separation wound and pain and reunites with our Divine Mother and Father, they arise into their embodiment as the bright, bright light of the Divine.

As Mother Mary keeps offering, “You cannot be unworthy of my love as it is always yours. You cannot be outside of my grace as it is always within you. You cannot be condemned by me as my acceptance of you is always there.”

If you feel a soul resonance with these events, I recommend watching the recent film Fatima as it recaptures a lot of the sacred experiences that the children went through yet also the challenges for them in facing the fear and skepticism it brought up in others.

Love from Fatima!

Jelelle Awen

More information about 1:1 sessions to access these soul grounds within, group calls, books/ writings at soulfullheart.org

Sacred Desires And Fears – Both Are Our Portal To Full Remembrance

Published on by Raphael AwenLeave a comment

By  Raphael Awen

The thing we desire the most is also the thing we fear the most.

We want something that represents a feeling or assurance of some kind of more, but not too much more. We set our sights on attainable, reachable and manageable goals.

To shoot higher is to set ourselves up for failure, or even worse, to somehow attain that great and high thing, but then have to live with the fear of falling from such a greater height.

If all of our dreams somehow came true, how would we hold it together?

So we tend to settle for this half life of being in resistance with both our desires and our fears. They are both to blame and to be held accountable. Were it not for them, there wouldn’t be any tension. All that would be left would be bliss.

But to go and find some kind of life configuration that helps you kill both desire and fear, is to choose to not live, suicide in slow motion. Doesn’t most spiritual practices, paradigms, therapies and ways of life have at their core, this root of managing fears and desires?

Trouble is though that a human being is one of both desire and fear, and fears and desires are such great forces, that they can never really be managed. At best, they can be suppressed for a time only to emerge in your life with more strength than when you tried to disown them.

I am especially feeling this as we approach the new year, and feeling how feeling fears and desires opens us out to set an intention for the new year, seeing it for the portal that it offers us.

This is so different from the standard ‘New Years resolution’ energy, whereby you need to mount a self-discipline campaign, essentially suppressing the needs and desires of one part of you to allow another one to have its needs met. That’s about dominance, overcoming and suppression, one part of our being colonizing vast and beautiful territories of other parts of our being. The victor never feels at peace with the winnings because it doesn’t contain any peace. Possession requires constant vigilance to stay on top.

For the year to come, what can I feel within my desire body to receive as a shift in being, a shift in nourishment, a shift in getting deeper and truer needs met?

What fears can I feel inside of my heart space that are wanting to find transformation? What irritations and vibrations come up for me in whatever cycle or situations that they do? Why have I needed them up till now?

Could I truly embrace both of these fear and desire polarities within who at first seem to be holding each other at a standoff, but upon closer feeling and observation, I see that each holds the key to each other’s freedom?

I believe this is the deeper ground of truly setting an intention that has true power in it. It has power because it is able to surrender to both desire and fear, not because it overcame one at the expense of the other.

This feels like not only our great personal internal lesson of reconciliation with our divinity, but also like the great cosmic soul’s lesson before us as we watch the playouts of last year’s bifurcating events and narratives about the fears of death, carrying over into the new year at increasing levels of fear and polarization. Whether you’re afraid of the virus or it’s cure, it is the biggest monster in the room right now for so many, bringing up our personal fears within.

How could these heightened crazy times we find ourselves living in with many seemingly impossible situations be a turning point for you personally where your fears and desires are concerned?

This doula of death that showed up is here with consciousness’ permission and authority to help something transform that has wanted and needs to die and be reborn for a long time. Death isn’t ‘death’ as in an obliteration of energy. It’s always about change.

I’ve been quite taken with keeping up with news headlines a few times a day whether alternative or mainstream, for years now, seemingly scanning the horizon for evidence of this great death and rebirth, as if my personal fulfillment is dependent on the collective shifting, even while knowing the agenda in the news cycle. I’m feeling my being rising to a higher octave where the ‘news’ now needs to come from within, my own reports of what’s new from my own heart and soul domains.

I feel an intention brewing for the year to come of changing this relationship with the news, and it feels sooo inviting. Something deeply nourishing wants to replace what felt before felt nourishing, but no longer does.

What are you desiring for the year to come?

Deepen 22!

Jelelle Awen and I are releasing a daily video series beginning January 1st for the month offering daily short guided meditations and an overview of the SoulFullHeart way of life, and I’d love to have you join us if you feel drawn. It’s free to be a part of, but we’d love to receive your exchange with us in the form of donations for whatever ways it helps and assists you through where you are shifting and moving. You will find it on our YouTube channel: https://youtube.com/c/SoulFullHeartExperience

4 days from now we have our 12:12 Portal Transmission and Guided Meditation Group Call. I hope you can join us live at 5:00pm GMT/12:00 EST/9:00am EST on Sunday, December 12th and/or receive the recording by whatever donation you feel to give (usual is about $15 CAD) via soulfullheart.org/shop or paypal.me/jelelleawen.

More info at soulfullheart.org/grouptransmissions and https://www.facebook.com/events/328536115365602

Much love to you on your sacred journey,

Raphael

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.  Visit soulfullheart.org for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc. 

Now Free: We are now offering for free our SoulFullHeart Portal on Mighty Networks, a virtual gathering place for sharing exclusive content from us such as energy update writings and guided meditation videos, plus community forum threads with topics and groups that you can read, join, and contribute to as you want. You can join us at the SoulFullHeart Portal here: soulfullheartportal.mn.co/

Photo courtesy of Kunai Shinde: https://unsplash.com/photos/-f0YLss50Bs

From Victim To Ambassador Amidst An Apocalypse

Published on by Raphael AwenLeave a comment

By  Raphael Awen

Seeing stories more and more of what only looks like concentration camps 2.0 in the name of protecting people, it strikes a fear chord inside of me.

How far is this thing going to escalate? How prepared is prepared?

What shall I do? How will I know what to do and when?

I gave these feelings and questions some heart space inside of a Divine Mother and Divine Father womb space this morning and was invited to feel some larger awareness around it all.

When we see the polarity increasing between two sides of any conflict, we are antsy to find the right side, and once we feel we’ve achieved that, we tend to expound the virtues of our side over the enemy’s side. We become virtuous warriors regardless of the side we’ve chosen.

Regardless of the conflict, if you feel into the energy of both sides, a quite surprising common denominator is seen. Both the designated perpetrator and victim are feeling and acting out of a place of fear of losing something precious to them. Though they are at polar opposites as to the solution of the crisis at hand, they are totally cut from the same cloth when it comes to what is motivating them.

If that’s true, then I need only look at myself to get a window on what’s going on deep in the heart of my enemy’s camp.

Deep at core, I don’t want to lose my life. I may feel I’m higher consciousness about this than I was before, even realizing that my true being can’t actually die, but only change forms, but still I’m not outside of this deep core motivation to preserve something precious and avoid something feared in the here and now. And in those somethings, is where I was told this morning, that we find resolution, both personally and collectively.

Now, I can only possess these kinds of fears if there is still ground in me of distrust towards my outcome, without which, I could be rest assured of a good and pleasurable future.

Is this the exact same world that my enemy lives in, regardless of our perceived and chosen oppositeness?

It feels to me to be the case.

This whole polarity world is maybe no better pictured than in our relationship with money. I must have money to survive, or I can’t be of use to anyone, let alone myself, unless I survive, so getting and obtaining money comes first. Period. Me first, you second, in a world of scarcity and separation, that is in the domain of money as we know it.

This perception of the world skews our relationship so deeply with all of life, and really gets backlit when there’s a perceived active threat.

Then this week, as I’m seeing the ugliness getting uglier, I can’t help but ask, ‘who are the real lords above all this conflict’? It takes one into the science fiction realm of off-planet realities and beings who would appear to possess a consciousness level higher than ours, able to pull strings and levers to get their way.

But if these beings are not science fiction, then what might really be motivating them?

Well, what motivated all of us to create factory farms, the concentration or containment camps for the animals? I say ‘we’ because if you’ve ever eaten an animal, you have a share in the whole endeavor. That includes me and you and that’s a ‘we’. We perceived ourselves to be of a higher consciousness than animals, so we felt and found a way to obscure any arising pang of guilt towards the whole operation.

But when the Nazi’s did the same thing with humans, that was ‘wrong’?. Well, not to them it wasn’t. Then there were the people’s countrymen who turned on their neighbors turning in the lessers to the new superiors, amidst all the chaos of the deeply polarized traumas. People were forced to take a side.

But what forced them? It seems to me that what really ‘forced’ them was not any outside authorities, but rather this shared common denominator of unconscious need to preserve oneself.

When you feel that both victim and perpetrator, (regardless of which side you perceive yourself to be on), both share this identical motive ground, you step up to the table of resolution and true ambassadorship.

First owning how deeply it lives in you to survive, and where your own fears of death lay, or fears of a diminished future, live inside of you, you are now able to see your enemy for who they really are.

They are you.

Now, the judgments and polarities are able to be resolved, because the sacred purpose of those judgments and polarities are completing. Their purpose was to bring us back into remembrance with ourselves, which is one and the same with bringing us back into being re-membered with one another, and putting behind us our necessary dismembered phase of consciousness.

The whole point of the polarity that we all signed off on was to leave oneness, so we could return to it, and expand it in the process, to give love a chance to see itself that it didn’t have before. Time was needed. Space was needed. Drama and trauma was needed. But we never lost this essence of being love, and that’s what haunts our fears of loss.

We know way beyond any kind of mental knowing a deep knowledge of being divinity, and when parts of us feel like they’re stuck in anything less than divinity, it strikes this chord of fear and anxiety. Will I ever get to return to really knowing and feeling what I truly am? This is the shared ground and it is called vulnerability. No matter how protected or powerful, no matter our chosen and championed side, we can’t escape this vulnerability.

These vulnerabilities are the portal doors back to full rememberance that we all must journey through in our glorious and awaiting experience of being re-membered with love.

Love really is this big of a deal and it needed dramas this freaking large to come to know itself.

If you remember, we all remember, as we are all inextricably connected, even as we journey through a necessary phase of perceiving ourselves as a separate self.

Love this separate self, get to know it and love it, find out how and why it ticks, toks and talks. It is your personal path of full discovery, full disclosure, complete reconciliation and total revelation.

My guidance circle said to me this morning, ‘Though it contains some needful apocalypse, I assure you that nothing could be more rewarding, fulfilling, fun, than this homecoming. It is the future that is filled with good things and you are well programmed for it, quite beyond any imposed ‘enemy’ programming’ or highjacked matrix reality.

Much love, I hope this helps you in some deeply inner way, but also helps to answer the many practicalities and choice points you are feeling, just like the rest of us.

If you feel I could be a resource to you, I offer 1:1 session space and would love to hear from you. There’s also 3 more of us facilitators here at SoulFullHeart who might also be a better fit for you. More info here: SoulFullHeart.org/sessions.

Also, Jelelle and I are embarking on a daily video series release come January 1 for 31 days, that I invite you to bookmark if you’d like to get acclimated to us a bit more. You’ll find that in the new year at https://youtube.com/c/SoulFullHeartExperience and a lot more is there in the meantime.

Much Love,

Raphael (and Jelelle )

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.  Visit soulfullheart.org for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc.