Supermoon Energy: Self-Acceptance/Love While Soberly Looking Within

by Kalayna Colibri

“With masks down, I walk, talking to the moon, to the neutral impersonal force that does not hear, but merely accepts my being.” – Sylvia Plath

The moon supports life on earth. She represents the Divine Mother while the Sun represents the Divine Father. They move in concert with each other, both bringing us into life, both very much with all of us as we walk through life. Both offer us codes, frequencies to integrate, vibrations of love that help us see ourselves and where we need to go next, as well as how far we’ve already come.

This Supermoon today brings us this message of love. Of a self-embracement and growing sense of self-love and appreciation for where and who we are right now, for this place, this being, is not where or who we’ll be forever. We all have more layers to see that need healing, that need our sober eye to look at them, but that need our love more than anything else. Loving others isn’t a mandate, it’s an opportunity that arises from the love we have within.

The Supermoon always feels intimate to me. It’s Mother giving us more illumination of our shadow, but the biggest piece that I think is always in our shadow, is the denial of love from ourselves to ourselves. The lens that tells us that love is scarce and that we have to do an awful lot to really earn the right to be loved and to feel loved. We are being invited to feel how love for ourselves has been conditional and to start feeling how destructive and harmful this is… not just because it harms parts of us that need us, but because it is does ultimately impact everyone around us too. The seeds of love have to be planted in the heart-garden within. Then we can show up with love for and with each other form the flourishing harvest that results.

“Can you start to love what has felt unlovable? Can you take care of all you’ve been given, all challenging situations, all parts of your heart and aspects of your soul, all areas of your sacred human body? Can you begin to see how you’ve withheld love and care for others because of insecurity, a feeling of lack of love within? Can you, will you, begin to look at what’s been neglected, even the harsh voices and parts within you, that need you more than anything else? More than more yoga, more than more food, more than more of anything material or physical or mental you could offer to help it feel temporarily better?” These are the questions I feel these energy waves offering today… these are the places I feel we are being invited to go within, to start the open-hearted investigation into who we all are in this now… and to begin to feel who and how we most want to be going forward, especially with ourselves.

This is going in very much on a personal level for me too in the moment, feeling appreciation for where my journey has led me and what is yet to open out. A new phase of Queen is arising as I move into ‘married life’ on a soul and heart level with Gabriel. I feel this Queen energy arising in relationship to my body, to service of love through SoulFullHeart, to Gabriel my beloved, to my other beloveds and most intimate relationships, to any crucibles that come my way in my own healing process. I feel how the Supermoon energies support King and Queenness to arise more through this process of deepening self-love for all who are ready to let that invitation in. It’s very much a time for deepening personal process yet the process of connection with others and service of love too in this collective we are all a part of.

Much love to you as you feel all of this with your own heart and parts!

***

Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for women age 25 and under, energy healer, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Just Give Up And Give In

Just give up…

Give up the knowing to feeling

Give up the doing to being

Give up the doubting to claiming

Give up the suffering to healing

Don’t give up on the parts of you that still need these to identify with. Feel them in the need to know. Be with them in the push to Do. Claim them when all they can do is doubt. Offer them healing when all they have known is suffering.

Then just give in…

Give in to your delusion of grandeur

Give in to the desire and dream

Give in and surrender to the power of love that aches to bloom

Give in to just being a singularity and embrace your multiplicity.

This is the journey of the human soul. Give it all you got.

*****

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our website to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife/donations.

Boys Will Be Boys…And Sensitive Too!

This is a question that was asked in response to my recent post about my engagement to Kalayna:

¨I am wondering if uncovering the sensual/sensitive part of the masculine is a deepening in your masculinity and if it is asking you to be more feminine than you are comfortable with?”

This was a very intriguing question to me and one that I feel is a part of any man’s sacred human journey. This journey is an exploration, uncovering, and integration of both poles of our being. These energies are a part of our Divine nature and in search of a dance of balance.

As a boy and young man growing up, I always felt different than many of my other friends when it came to such things as playing sports, construction, conflict, and girls to name a few. My emotional body just seemed different too. A bit more sensitive and was attributed to me being more of a mama’s boy rather than seeing it as a closer relationship to my feminine. So in a way, the sensitive side of my masculinity was always there, just not recognized as such.

As I am connecting more with a feminine part of me, I am beginning to see where she was always trying to be ‘one of the guys’ while not really feeling comfortable with it as it approached the more shadow edges of masculinity. (I prefer not to use the term ‘toxic masculinity’ as that seems to undermine and judge this part of us as bad or unwanted. More on that in a future post). Yet, to ‘fit in’ I assumed many conditioned behaviors to adjust and be more of what was considered a culturally acceptable male.

So, there was a conflict between my traditional masculine part and my feminine part looking for a way to feel safe and authentic in the world. Until this process of differentiating between the two, the conflict was a bit maddening to both of them. Now that I have cultivated a relationship between both of them, I can begin to feel myself as a bridge to them in my daily experience.

I am learning to feel less concerned about how that femininity expresses and how it is perceived. My traditional masculine is learning to feel the gifts of the inner feminine and how much healing and beauty there is in her. My feminine is beginning to feel safer in the outward masculine leadership and the showing up as a masculine presence. There is more to activate in my masculine that I realize has been shielded by my feminine. This is what I feel leads to a deepening of both poles of my being.

Raphael and I will be addressing this and many other topics for men and spiritual ascension in upcoming videos that we hope to begin today. A woman’s perspective is also very much encouraged to give us reflection and direction as well. We look forward to taking in comments and suggestions as we explore this very important topic to both of us, and to help bridge the inner parts exploration with guided meditations.

To hear more about masculine healing check out these videos from Jelelle Awen’s 33 Day series where Raphael and I were guests:

Inner Masculine/Feminine Balance: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nvi_m4i1KvQ&list=PLNmrHdaQSAvLiLpw1qSOmQE-tsqhGSAD3&index=17&t=0s

Healing The Sacred Masculine: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X6ueoUK4aDo&index=30&list=PLNmrHdaQSAvLiLpw1qSOmQE-tsqhGSAD3

Photo by Michael Prewett on Unsplash

*****

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our website to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife/donations.

Readying Yourself For More LOVE ON ‘Love Day’

by Kalayna Colibri

It’s Valentine’s Day today, and that brings up a lot for so many… even as I celebrate the day with my beloved Gabriel, I feel how much I’ve had to move through even recently to really see him and let him in more, even while we explored being ‘just friends’ for a while and there was a necessary inner boundary to doing this. I feel how this has been equally a process inside of me, for my inner feminine and masculine aspects to really start seeing each other and letting each other in more. What a dance this is, and ongoingly too, in ways and on levels you wouldn’t necessarily expect! I look at Gabriel and feel so attracted and drawn to every chakra, every limb, every nuance of his being, and I feel how much this might bring up for others who haven’t experienced this yet and are readying themselves for it.

We don’t ever have to be perfect to let in the love we desire. We are invited to be present to the process of the deepening and the journey that unfolds even while in your most desirable relationship yet.

I’ve been on both sides of the coin on different Valentine’s Days – in the celebration and the pain. And both are worth feeling fully… both are alchemical and can lead you to more of what you need to feel so you can draw the romance you most deeply desire and the overall experience of love in your life too. I feel the ache you may be in, and I feel Love there with you in it, helping guide the way to a deeper experience of it in ways you may not even realize are possible.

It’s a good day to write to Love itself, asking it to be with you in your ache and also perhaps celebrating its existence. Love wants to hear you, be close to you, feel you. It understands that you have felt hurt by it yet wants to have a new relationship with you and parts of you. It wants to ascend with you into higher frequencies and meet you there where it already thrives too. How do parts of you relate to love in general, let alone romantic love?

I feel Love offering now: “You are loved and that love is not conditional or based on anything other than your very existence. You are Love itself finding its way back to itself and that journey in all its highs and lows is sacred and worth it. You get to explore it all, dance with all polarizations and expressions, or just BE with the waves of it and what is being illuminated. Either way, today brings you an invitation to a sacred dance within and with others. The ways you choose to relate to it rests with you and I am here, always, to be in all of this with you!”

The time to explore love is anytime you choose and the choice is always yours, today and every day. ❤️

From my heart to yours, Happy Love Day! ❤️❤️

***

Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for women age 25 and under, energy healer, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

The Valentine’s Gateway To The Heart

In the past, prior to my healing journey, Valentine’s Day would give a part of me a little cringe. There was an energy of duty and obligation that swelled up inside whenever I was in a relationship. A feeling that this part of me had to “show up” in a way and be romantic even if he wasn’t totally feeling that.

Of course, there were the Valentines when I would go all out because I was in a new relationship and would get swept up in the collective swell of romanticism. When I wasn’t, another part of me would feel an angst and a bitterness that would demean the day as commercial exploitation. Many other times I could feel an ambivalence inside me as the day would just come and go

As I reflect on that and compare it to where I am now in a conscious sacred union with Kalayna, I can feel how those reactions were portals into my relationship to love, romance, and intimacy. Since it is a collective experience, at least in Western consciousness, a lot can get kicked up in the emotional body for both men and women.

Memories of recent relationships, the status of current relationships, or the longing of future romance amplifies as we experience this as a Whole. The parts of us that were wounded and hurt are triggered at this time. What a great opportunity to feel them in this!

I feel that this is true for both men and women, yet women feel closer to it than many men as we have more of a mechanism to bury or ignore these feelings than women. But I know that men feel a great deal during this time, regardless of what a part of them may say outwardly.

We all have parts of us that relate to this day differently. The inner child exuberance of joy, gifts, and candy, the inner teenager and its tragic romantic conflict and angst, the inner prince that gets to court and woo the inner princess, or the inner matriarch and patriarch that can throw the whole damn thing out the window for that matter!

What do love, romance, and intimacy represent to these different aspects of you? What are the hurt, trauma, yearning, or ambivalence wanting you to feel? To express? Writing a letter to Love is a great way to access this relationship regardless of where you are at. It is a key that can open up doors to the tender parts of you that are awaiting your entry and open heart to feel them in it.

For parts of men, this may feel a bit too feminine, but I encourage you to take a moment to give it a try. If there is a feeling of resistance then maybe writing to that resistance can help grease the wheels.

What does Love mean to you, even if what comes out seems to counter and oppose? Digesting that with another open heart can offer a deeper reflection and pathway to where you ultimately want to go in the arena of romance even if it is just from you to you, as that is where it all begins.

For more on inner and outer sacred union and intimacy check out these videos from Jelelle and Raphael Awen: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nPVo1iZTYng&feature=share

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=diPaOZFiPBM&feature=share

*****

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our website to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife/donations

The Poultice Of Love And The Fear Of Intimacy

Wow! What a response the last couple of days to our engagement. Thank you so much to everyone who left your well-wishes and congratulations.

One thing I took away from it all is that one way or another we all seek Love. Maybe there are parts that may feel despair, doubt, or indifference to it, but at our core we love Love. The only thing that gets similar reactions is anything based on Fear. So in some ways, we have parts that love Fear too. Yeah, I know, an oxymoron.

This is the sacred dance though. The two poles of our BEing that seem at odds but are just trying to reconcile each other. As we all continue to heal our Selves with Love and for the sake of Love, we enter a new relationship to Fear. Something shifts in the power structure. The deepening commitment and claim of this romance with Kalayna will certainly bring up another layer of this relationship to fear of intimacy. Deep transformational intimacy that takes us to the core of our deepest traumas and pains that can only surface from the poultice of Love.

So the collective response is saying to me, “YES! Keep going! Keep feeling the edges of this because I want this too!” or “YES! Bring more of this into the world as it adds to mine as well!”. Even if Kalayna and I don’t “make it” in the long run, we are committing ourselves to this deeper healing that has collective and personal consequences. “Success” is only determined if we feel everything we to feel and say everything we need to say while we are engaged in this marriage of Soul and Heart. We are bound by this in desire, not duty.

I feel to continue this exploration of marriage, intimacy, love, and fear through the heart of the Masculine. What is its relationship and desire to those very things? Right now it is about being centered in Heart while exploring the Soul in healing the parts of me still in shadow around intimacy with the Feminine. It is a sacred one that I accept with dedication and passion.

If you are a man or a woman with this rising desire in you, stay tuned for more. I am also available for sessions to support you along the journey of this sacred healing and letting in of Love. Thank you so much again for all the outpouring of support and love for us both. ❤

*****

Painting by Eduardo Rodriguez Calzado

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our website to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife/donations.

Healing The Suppressed Inner Feminine

By Raphael Awen

Choosing to live out a present timeline with a suppressed inner feminine in remorse for another timeline when you suppressed the feminine externally doesn’t really work to bring healing and reconciliation. They are both still in resistance to the feminine.

Realizing that all we really wanted was love and deep heart and home security, but that we went about it in a twisted way is the beginning of deeply finding what was really underneath the harm we created; the frantic search for love.

Where is love’s search wanting to take you now?

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.  Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc. Visit our donations page to offer a monthly or one time money donation to support our offerings.

Thy Queen Hath Come!: A Healing Man’s Journey Of Love

My beloved Kalayna is going to be my wife!

Our hearts and souls have been married in this journey of Sacred Union for some time now. We began 6 years ago and in the ebbs and flows of romance and friendship, we have found ourselves in the deeper waters of claim and passion, ready for what comes next in our exploration of soul and service.

As a man, this was also about a deeper claim within myself to honor and engage The Feminine, as well as her feminine. It is also a communion of our masculines as Kalayna’s needed to trust my own in that claim. It has been a process for both of us and will continue to be.

More specifically, I am blessed and infinitely ecstatic to make this a more “official” declaration. It does more than just represent something. It intends. It intensifies. It clarifies. I am in love with a remarkable woman that has spent her life in pursuit of her biggest heart and passionate soul calling. She seeks with great courage the most authentic reflection of herself, even if that reflection is not so easily digested.

It is not through luck that we found each other, but a process of deep inner work and difficult choice points. We have been through several iterations that were no less sacred than the one we find ourselves in now. It is a Love Story. It is our story. We have had moments that were far from ideal and yet the heart and soul kept on. We have been through our suffering phases and now it is time for our Deepening.

To my beloved wife-to-be

You have been the queen, the muse, the one I couldn’t let in

You have traversed the waters and lands within

In search of your Higher Ground

In that space, you set your beacon

Your Love Light shine

The scent of your lavender soul

Wafting across the ocean of stars

Into the vulnerable and readied sails of my heart

I saw you, I see you, I need you

Like I never knew I needed you

I see me, what I am, what I can be

Through you

From you

This once-soldiered soul has found a home

A place to rest and share his heart

His love, His art, His Kingdome Come

Forever blessed, forever changed, forever in pursuit of You

I am honored to be your Husband and King

*****

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our website to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife/donations.

Inner Sacred Union Deepening, Outer Sacred Union ‘Engagement’!

by Kalayna Colibri

The Lunar New Year/New Moon energy yesterday brought in a personal wave of NEW for Gabriel and I… after nearly 7 years of knowing each other, several relationship iterations (some romantic, some not) and now a year and a half of being in a deep Sacred Union together, we’ve decided to ‘get engaged’ and celebrate our next steps into even deeper union!! ❤

Earlier this week I had found myself moving through a sacred process of shedding my old relationships on an even deeper level. An old relationship to men that on some level was keeping my parts from really seeing Gabriel for the man he truly is. I felt deep tears as parts of me and Metasoul aspects too let go of another layer of him holding a ‘father figure’ and energy for them and let in Divine Father as the desired ‘father figure’ energy on a deeper level. I felt Father holding my parts as I moved through deep churning inside around the wounded masculine and how my parts have been personally affected by this energy and also how it has lived inside of me in my own masculine aspect.

In a way, this was a process of really letting in what I have with Gabriel in a new way. Coming out of these tears, I felt held by Father but also by the energy of Gabriel’s HIgher Self and essence, even though he wasn’t even home to witness my tears in person. I felt the heat of his warm heart bath, the beacon of light that he IS after years of deep and ongoing inner process to suss out the wounded masculine within and BE in LOVE with it within himself as it transmutes.

I realized after the dust had settled in my purging heart and soul field that I really wanted to marry this man… to celebrate our union and to make a deeper commitment. There’s a way that we could see marriage as something strictly 3D, but it isn’t strictly 3D beyond the legal paperwork. It represents something to parts of us but also facilitates a movement in our souls that brings in more lifetimes/timelines for us to feel together and individually. It activates the deeper union that we ‘know’ together in ways we haven’t explored yet, even the tougher ones to feel that aren’t so romantic.

It’s with an excited and FULL heart that I announce this engagement in my own way today… it’s with so much LOVE that is flowing inside of my heart, soul, and body that I share a piece of my process around letting this in. The journey into and through this sort of relationship is worth the discomfort of feeling the places of ‘yuck’ that help you let it in more at the end of the day. It’s worth the risk of losing it just to claim it all over again, starting inside between parts of you that have yet to claim each other. And, it’s worth the journey of healing and learning, yearning and aching, shaking up the old inside to let in the NEW… ❤

My beloved, my “friend”…

In many lifetimes of long due USness

and overdue claiming

We meet each other in this bliss mess dance

of Sacred Union.

Beyond blessed I am

As the Queen I am BEcoming

because of YOU,

with YOU,

as I lean in

and our dreams connect

in this swirl and dance

of overflowing service.

I have never met a King like you before

I have never been the Queen I AM now

because of the water I take in

living in your precious heart-garden.

You are the King of my heart

The bastion of deeply committed healing

and I look forward to all of the MORES

that await our creation

in our brand new phase

as “husband” and “wife”.

I LOVE you! ❤

***

Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for women age 25 and under, energy healer, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

The Scientist, The Sage, & The Artist: Seeking Love Through Experience And Knowledge

What did your soul come here for? Experience or Knowledge? What did you come here to experience or know?

Healing is a digestion and an integration of this experience into knowledge. I don’t mean the kind of knowledge that you find in books, but the kind that is stored in the depths of our DNA, the unconscious, and our emotional body. Our circumstances are reflections of this inner experiential knowledge data bank and what It is seeking to learn and understand.

The scientist, the sage, and the artist are intrinsically the same.  There is an exploration happening. A reconciliation of an unmet need, an unanswered question, or a prolonged trauma. There is a drive to fix, transmute, understand, or transcend these. Pain is one of those aspects of experience that we try religiously to avoid until it cannot be avoided anymore due to the nature of the Souls journey.

It is hard to wrap our head around why certain people experience certain unimaginable things. It is hard because we don’t really ‘know’ what the soul is needing and wanting to learn and understand unless we get to a place where are deeply curious. This curiosity is what brings the questions that lead us on the quest.

The answers to these questions lie within you. The words of those that have traversed these depths are like guideposts along the way and can provide insight and direction. As a parts work and Metasoul healer, I assist in guiding others to aspects of themselves that hold keys that unlock doorways to places within that hold these answers. They hold the experiences of trauma, depression, anxiety, and dis-ease. By relating to them as parts, and not the totality of who you are or what you are experiencing, you create a space that can bring in context rather than drowning in the content.

The result is a new awareness of yourself as a divine creator seeking to know and experience Love, and often knowing Love is to know Pain until we don’t need it anymore. There is a world of You that you get to become privy to. I call it your YOUniverse because, yeah, you are that damn big and that damn amazing, whether parts of you want to believe it or not. Let’s go find out together.

*****

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our website to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife/donations.