What We Heal In Ourselves We Heal In The World

by Monica Devi Bhakti

Today I found myself deep in a spin of the fear control matrix. I was feeling the intensity of my emotions, as well as the emotions of the collective. I reached out and got wise words from this beautiful SoulFullHeart community. Many thanks especially to Gabriel Heartman.

I also remembered back with gratitude to a session with Jelelle Awen, recognizing the need to disconnect from the collective, to find myself and my truth.

I went in and checked in with my parts. I found a Young One deep in fear, and my Inner Punisher running rampant – or so I thought. What I realized then, was that my Punisher was my Inner Masculine, actually trying to help the Young One. He was in a frenzy trying to find what would help this little one’s fear and help her feel safe. He felt so helpless and was lashing out, demanding that I make a plan and take action, even if I don’t know where I am going, or what is next for me. This sent me down endless rabbit holes of possibilities as if just taking just any action would assuage the fear. And I did take some actions and explore some possibilities. This helped for a bit. What helped more was to engage the deep well of the Inner Sacred Feminine – to allow the feelings, to allow that they are not wrong, not something that I need to make go away, but to listen to and honor deeply. These feelings do not need to be forcefully “shifted” into a ”higher consciousness” – that in fact to try to do so, was an act of aggression towards myself and spiritual bypass. Not to mention a judgment of what is good and what is not, what is “light” and what is not. As I have said – What part of All That Is, am I trying to make not a part of All That Is? What part of knowing that everything is the light, am I denying?

I find if we want to “fix” something, it’s because it makes us uncomfortable, and we are judging it. We want it to go away.

I realized that this is also part of what is happening in the collective. Theories and opinions about the actions of others, and who will stay in 3D and who will move into higher planes of consciousness, are so prevalent. I also notice how many are full of spiritual judgment and bypass. I’m speaking here of the conversations that do not include the essential ingredient of compassion. The bridging needed in the world – that this SoulFullHeart work helps do so beautifully within ourselves.

When we see the darkness, the actions that others have taken that seem so heinous, of course we have emotion and recoil. It scares us. It scares us that there is pain out there so deep, that it would turn on others in such awful ways. It shows us that Inner Punishers, unchecked and unloved, can become outer Tyrants and Abusers.

I know the truth that actions such as those only come from deep, unfelt pain and wounding. I know it because I have seen it, over and over. I have experienced it, over and over. One in self-love simply does not take those actions.

Love does not harm.

So what will help that deep wounding? Will ostracizing others and making them wrong – even in subtle spiritual ways – bring healing? If it doesn’t work inside, why would it work outside?

My experience today is that compassion, love will always be the one true answer.

I can so easily allow and witness the shadow in the world and others with non-judgment and compassion. Hold sacred space. My challenge currently is to witness and allow my deep shadow. Hold sacred space, and be, as Jelelle says, ‘the Love Ambassador’ – to myself.

What we heal in ourselves, we heal in the world.

May peace and love be mine, and yours, today and always.


***Monica Devi Bhakti is a SoulFullHeart Facilitatant, Collaborator, holder of sacred space, love generator, healer and writer.  Visit https://www.soulfullheart.org for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

SoulFullHeart Museletter:New Earth Energies Invite Bringing Amnesty To All Darkness/Polarities

Happy Monday! This week there were big shifts in the SoulFullHeart community with the emergence of Kalayna Solais back as a Facilitator and Jelelle Awen taking a step back from facilitation to focus on the larger context and future of the community and offering. We focused on the continuing digestion of our current times and how it relates to our individual and collective processes. Read the full Museletter here.

Featured this week is a piece from Kalayna Solais. In it, she feels through her own personal experience of the ongoing healing of the darkness and opening into forgiveness as true ambassadorship of love:

“There is still a very strong narrative playing out right now of light dispelling darkness. Yet, darkness cannot be destroyed. Your own darkness cannot be destroyed. It needs room to be felt and understood, a chance to make its case and be heard.”

The ‘Free To Be’ group call series continues this Wednesday. It’s already week four! If you’ve missed the previous calls, you can offer a donation at any time and receive the recording and also the link to attend any of the future calls live if you can or want to.

During this week’s call we will offer teachings about the necessary digestion and processing around navigating social relationships with friends, family, and mates before and during the transition. Connect during the meditation with the relationships and the part of you that are most needing negotiation around transitioning to more soul resonant frequencies and becoming a bridge for others.

For more information about this series, visit soulfullheart.org/freetobe

Also this week is the reemergence of Kalayna Solais in the role of facilitation! Kalayna expresses her appreciation and gratitude for the journey back into her soul purpose and offers her own Inner Protector meditation. There is a video by Raphael and Jelelle Awen sharing tree codes as they go on a beautiful hike in the forests of Vancouver Island in British Colombia. Jelelle offers light language activation from the trees to you.

There are many new articles and audio blogs this week from SoulFullHeart Facilitators/teachers, Raphael and Jelelle Awen, as well as SoulFullHeart Facilitator Kalayna Solais and facilitant Gabriel Heartman. There are energy updates, personal process digestions, and ways to look at and feel what is happening on the 3D, 4D, and 5D consciousness levels.

Check out our ‘Quotes of The Week’ section for some quote cards you can save and share! If you can, please do tag us whenever possible.

Raphael Awen and Kalayna Solais are available for 1:1 sessions to support you and your ongoing process. Raphael works with men and women and Kalayna works with women only. More info here: soulfullheart.org/sessions

Thank you so much for your interest in and support of SoulFullHeart Healing!

You can offer a donation to SoulFullHeart via PayPal here: paypal.me/jelelleawen

You can subscribe to our Museletters here: soulfullheart.org

Check out the latest Museletter here.

Freeing The Inner Masculine From Enslavement To Joyful Embodiment

The Inner Masculine journey of healing is ongoing. Getting to know mine more and more each day has been a gift for both of us. Some days he feels light and airy, other days things just start to pile up one right after another. After having another session with Raphael a couple of days ago, we felt with my Inner Masculine how tired and in fear he has been most of this life. These feelings have been assuaged by lots of problem solving, working, busyness, and information gathering. Sex may have been the one thing that brought any relief, even if that feeling was short-lived.

As we continued to feel with my Inner Masculine, Raphael asked him what would be his ultimate expression if all of those overlording conditions were not present. His response was simply ‘Joy’. Unadulterated joy. That and unending acts of creation and service to others. Joy is a frequency that has been an elusive state of being most of my life. I have felt happy, content, and joyful in moments both short and long-term, but to really have an anchor in a Joy state while still feeling what is real in all moments, seems almost like a pipe dream to him.

What is authentic and genuine Joy as a core place rather than some elusive response based on external conditions? “Your guess is as good as mine!”, he wants to say. Yet there is a very visceral desire and awareness that this state does, in fact, exist. It is being broadcast by my Higher Self and the Divine. So he senses the home frequency, he just hasn’t been able to leave his country of condition to land in his country of origin.

As a tap into my Metasoul around this, as I did on the last SoulFullHeart Free To Be call, I can feel an enslavement consciousness, whereby I can see and feel both the slave holder and the slave. Both are actually held in tyranny. One on the outside and the other from within. The consciousness prevails over both. As the slave holder could feel this, he realized how this energy is a self-fulfilling loop and nobody gets anywhere from it. It is the proverbial self-made prison we create and we are given plenty of evidence that this is alive and well from the outside world.

The masculine has been in such darkness for so long. There is such a passionate desire to break those energetic chains and its punishing consciousness. To raise the sword of our power and cut those chains from within and release the enslavement into enheartenment. Release the Inner Child and the Inner Feminine so they can lead this masculine into the promised land of Joy, Abundance, and Service with Love. That is the daily ‘work’. That is the place where true alchemy can manifest our heaven on earth from within.

*****

You can still join us for our ongoing six week group call series Free To Be: Navigating the 3D Matrix to New Earth Transition. Our next group call is this Wednesday, April 22nd at 10:00am PDT in which we will discuss navigating relationships during this time, including sharings about the Inner Punisher and meditation to connect to your current relationships and shift to 5D sense of them. You can receive the recordings of any group calls you may have missed and the zoom link to join future ones at any time by open donation. There is more info here: soulfullheart.org/freetobe

*****

Gabriel Heartman is a facilitant, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Letting In A New World Order Of Love

Two worlds are taking up the same space at the same time. Hell, there are infinite worlds doing that but I feel to keep it simple. These two worlds have an order to them. One is centered on control and fear. The other, on abundance and love. Then there is the space between. The space a lot of us are in right now that can cause quite a bit of a roller coaster feeling.

These New World Orders are not in conflict with each other. They know themselves pretty well. The conflict arises when choosing which one to subscribe to or heal from. When my Inner Protector/Masculine looks out into the external world, he can find lots of evidence that the ‘negative’ Order is in full force ready to take its game to the next level. He is also connected quite intimately to my Reptilian self that has been very much a part of this Archonic world order.

Connecting this morning with these aspects of myself I could feel how hard it is for them to see the light at the end of the tunnel sometimes. They are getting better. It takes time to turn a ship whose inertia (conditioning) has created a consciousness that lends itself to unworth and fear. The fear, at its core, was not actually about being controlled or a loss of freedom, rather it was a fear of not being able to let in love.

Now that is a new direction! What paves the way to this New World of Love and Abundance is feeling every damn thing that keeps me from letting in this world. It is not waiting for a news conference or an act of Congress, but my own self-empowered, God-given choice to feel! I don’t create New Earth, I LET…IT…IN! It is already here and has always been here. Yet we all have programming and trauma to attend to that are like bricks in the wall between here and there.

This is found by digging in the dirt, not in the news. A part of me may get some sense of hope that the world is changing but if I don’t heal the very thing that co-created this gong show then it will just go right back and then these parts of me will have all the evidence they needed to say “I told you so.”

They need me to show up every damn day. They need a space to express and a space to feel. This removes one more brick in the wall and a clearer picture of what is right in front of me. A kingdom of heaven. One that exists in every single one of us. But it takes work and it takes patient persistence. Feeling can hurt like a mother, but not feeling is its own hell. Having space held is not a weakness, it is a self-loving choice to let go of all the things that keep you free and keep you from Love.

New Earth is here. We just need to claim it by feeling why it’s not.

*****

Gabriel Heartman is a facilitant, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Stewarding Your Future Self Through Feeling

‘You can have whatever you want, if you’re willing to really let the want live in you, change you, move you.’

This is the message that comes to me as I tune in my future self. It’s a lot to let in, isn’t it?

Our ability as a consciousness to host both desire and despair is one of the most unique things about our being. The life each of us has at present is very much formed of our desire and our despair, often however, without our conscious awareness. Even in our sleep we are creators.

If this is true, then getting familiar and relational with both our desire and our despair is profound life altering work. It’s also the kind of work that is so good that no aspect of it really wants to be skipped over to get to the destination. It’s the journey that our soul signed up for, because it always has had and never actually lost the destination.

If that’s true, then how do we become relational with our desire and despair to the point of being a conscious creator?

It’s kind of like the disillusioned couple sitting down to have finally have the heart to heart discussion they’ve been avoiding, previously hoping would just take care of itself somehow. Simply being honest first with oneself, then being trans-‘parent’ with another parents a new reality into being. Old completions and new beginnings are allowed to flow. Using one another to stay stuck and sequestered from life let’s go.

But all this can happen inside of you – you to you. You can feel the polarized parts of yourself each holding to different desires as well as undigested despairs. You choosing this emotional exploration inside is the true leadership you’ve been waiting and wanting to inhabit for yourself. This is high level ambassador work that truly changes the life you are currently living.

If feeling this awakens your desire and despair, then I feel you can take that as a sign that your future self is wanting your attention. Your own knower knows this is true. Now it’s just a matter of responding to it.

*****

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.  Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc.

The Unraveling And Balancing Of The Inner Masculine

The masculine in us all can be a complex creature even underneath what can appear to be a simplified projection. Its laser pointed directive and ability to navigate so much on the 3D plane has so many benefits and qualities that are so needed in our daily lives.

Yet when that very focus finds itself tied in knots due to overwhelm, judgement, and uncertainty it really needs the feminine to come in and hold space for its unraveling. This is where the masculine gets to feel what he has been truly been holding, and simultaneously not feeling.

Since my induction back into the SoulFullHeart world, as well as the flipping of my previous script due to the feardemic, my masculine has been on a bit of unbalanced ground. While so very grateful for being back in the orbit of soul family and choosing to stay here in Victoria during this time, my inner masculine has been trying to navigate two worlds at once.

One world, the 3D world, is represented by online teaching work and making sense of what the next timeline is going to look and feel like so he can activate the usual levers and pulleys that make it all sail with minimal discomfort and chaos.

The other world, the 4D/5D world, is one that has him on the ropes half the time. It is a world of trust, surrender, and inherent joy and he just doesn’t know how to fit into that sometimes. He says, “Just give me something to do, and I will do it!”. As I connect with myself from this world, I can feel his anxiety and his discombobulation. So I breathe with him.

When we sit in rest together, just being and feeling, the anxiety bubbles and then pops into vulnerability. Into tears. Into the feeling that he is not enough. Into a feeling that he is feeling like he is losing his ability to ‘hold it all together’ in the face of so much change, momentum, and goodness.

The feminine in me comes to his aid and just sits with him. She invites him to lean in when he has felt like he has had to be the lead all the time. She is not looking for a warrior or a soldier, she is looking for his truth. His needs. His real-ity. That is his royalty.

As the tears flowed and the energy of all that he has been holding for the past several months came to the surface, a calm came into his being. Not a cure, but a calm. He knows he still has things to feel. Things to continue to let go and let in. He so much wants to be a King to her Queen.

The first step is admitting when he doesn’t feel this way and that it is okay. This is where she comes in to hold that space for him to arise anew. To be resurrected from an old way of being in the world. For that world is dying, and he is being reborn into his sacred service of heart-centered leadership.

*****

Gabriel Heartman is a facilitant, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Feeling Your ‘Circum-Stances’ And Desires With Your Inner Masculine

The ‘circum-stances’ of your life as you know it today is literally a standing stone circle of what you know as your ‘surroundings’.

Like Stonehenge is a wonder of how it came to be, so is this personal circle – created as both a mirror and a portal by parts of you and your Metasoul aspects. A mirror that tells the honest truth of what is, how it came to be, and a portal (Merkabah vehicle) to what honestly wants to be.

When you feel and bridge to the polarity of both your desires and despair, coming from your parts and Metasoul aspects, you create sacred movement to new circumstances that you are now willing to dream as possible; that you were willing to feel the IMpossibility of; and bridge between. You make the discordant resonant.

Your Inner Masculine wants to get on with this new mandate, but may feel stuck and in need of your heart presence and awakening. Settling for a spirituality that makes desire bad, or ‘of the ego’ is one sure way to neuter your Inner Masculine, who is so deeply needed right now. Just ask your Inner Feminine is that’s true. ‘De-sire’ literally means ‘from the sire’. What is your masculine wanting to sire into your life? Is your Inner Feminine ready to dance?

Your Inner Masculine wants to get practical – wants to engage in doing, acting, effecting and accomplishing, and he wants to dance with and do it for your Inner Feminine – how do you express that as you ascend out of 3D and move towards 5D?

Photo courtesy of https://unsplash.com/@kmitchhodge

*****

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.  Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc.

Separation Facilitates Reconciliation

The last thing you want right now is to be perfectly centered.

Airplanes reach their destinations by continually going off course and then course correcting. It’s the wobbling through center and coming back, just like each stroke on a bicycle that affords us balance and forward propulsion.

We actually need the deviation as much as the correction – both are sacred and both are necessary. You and I are holy deviants who have deviated out from love and light even into darkness and hatred to whatever degree we needed to as a soul, on behalf of love, and as love, so that we could experience reconciliation.

Separation facilitates reconciliation. And it’s in the transaction of love being reconciled to itself that it obtains the prize it set out for in the first place.

You can feel this inside yourself and in the collective, both, especially as we prepare for the revelation phase of darkness coming to light.

Remember, love never lost, hence no need for any holy war, not inside or outside.

*****

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.  Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc.

Healing And Transmuting Trauma With Love

By Jelelle Awen

Trauma is coming up to be felt and healed in this clearing out year of 2020. Trauma creates a dense frequency vibration in our emotional bodies, our physical bodies, and our energy bodies and we ALL have it as a residue from the experience of being in 3D reality. Trauma can be deeply subconscious and hidden by our veil of amnesia. Essentially, trauma cannot ‘come with us’ into the New Earth timeline, personally or collectively. Healing trauma is KEY to our ongoing Ascension process into 5D sacred humanity.

The trauma can seem bigger than you……esp. when you are shaking with it, quaking with it, and ‘fused’ to it in those situations that trigger it. In the moments and memories of trauma acting like magnets to keep parts of you stuck in looping around the same suffering seconds over and over again even as your body ages and time ‘goes on’. With the PTSD symptoms that can seem so overwhelming as they move through.

When it feels like the trauma is bigger than you, then the pain becomes more real than joy. When it feels like the trauma is unhealable, the fear claims more ‘real estate’ and space than love. When it feels like the trauma is unknowable, the confusion overcomes any clarity.

You may doubt your capacity to hold space for the feeling and processing of trauma as you haven’t been templated and shown and supported to do this. 3D consciousness offers the next drug, the next diversion, the next quick fix, the next substitution as an answer to this trauma. Even spirituality can answer healing trauma with methodologies and means that actually just create MORE and NEW trauma.

These fixes then will somehow try to take the place of your SOUL big and HEART big presence that is MOST needed here. These things will try to provide a poor replacement for the richness of SELF love that is MOST required here.

During these moments that caused trauma (from this life and other lifetimes), the parts of you that experienced them felt like they were alone and they BECAME the traumatic experience with no way to digest it, especially your Inner Child and Inner Teenager. As you become a loving, compassionate, non-judgemental presence that can BE with them during these traumatic moments, supported by Divine energies and higher dimensional soul aspects/guides, these parts of you can digest the trauma and move into a new timeline beyond the experience of it.

The ONLY energy that offers true transmutation is love. Anything lesser or denser or coming from a fix it/judgemental place can’t offer the transmutation of trauma that love can. As you become this loving transmutational energy, so are all parts of you and their traumas able to become the LOVE again that they truly are in their essence. This can happen miraculously, in the moment when love is offered to the parts of you of self and soul that most need it….even lifetimes of patterned trauma can transmute to love in one moment. I have seen this happen again and again in just minutes in session after session.

The transmutation of the trauma, the lightening up and healing of it that you experienced from this life and other lifetimes is an essential aspect of your ongoing Ascension and awakening process. As you transmute it into love again, so you are able to raise your vibrational frequency TO love.

1:1 healing sessions available to experience the SoulFullHeart Quantum Healing Process to BEcome the love that is needed to transmute the traumas of self and soul for women with me and for men and women with Raphael. More information here: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions

This video is Day 30 of my Deepen 33 series from last year, offers more teaching about this and a guided meditation to bring a part of you experiencing trauma into a transmutational love experience with Mother Mary and Yeshua. You can watch it here: https://youtu.be/H20_fT-tKYg

Love,

Jelelle Awen

Jelelle Awen is Co-Creator/Teacher/Group Facilitator/Ambassador of SoulFullHeart Way Of Life, a healing process and paradigm offering New Gaia Ascension frequencies to transmute trauma into love on emotional/spiritual/physical levels. For more information about  1:1 individual sessions with her for women and with other SoulFullHeart Facilitators, virtual group calls, writings/books, and videos, visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com.

Could It Be?

By Raphael Awen

Stewing in thoughts or feelings finds movement when there is a you there who is willing to begin to feel what is stewing and why with curiosity and compassion.

Emotion and feeling are two words that speak their truth. One speaks of motion and the other of touch, or contact. Motion and touch create a ‘to and from’. Without this to and from, there isn’t a flow, and we’re back to the stasis of the stewing; stuck in a prolonged suffering over our difficulties.

Our difficulties are difficult enough. Why would parts of us choose to stay in suffering over our difficulties, rather than feel what is wanting to be felt, and thus let in the movement?

Could it be that to parts of us, the known suffering is better than the unsafe unknown?

Could it be that to parts of us, they’ve never been accustomed to an other with an open heart? Could it be that parts of us have been so long conditioned to a world without feeling that the prospect of feeling is a distant memory of an unsafe reality, that needs to be resisted for the land mine experience it was?

How could you find out what is true now for parts of you and why? Are parts of you open to a new experience of ‘flow to and from’ of whatever it is that is wanting to be felt in your sacred world?

Are you and parts of you ready to let in the next stages of your own largesse of being by feeling the most contracted and small feeling parts of you?

If these words call to you, and you feel you would like some help, I offer a free intro call intro call to talk more with you about the process we offer. Message me if you are interested.

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.  Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc. Visit our Patreon Page to send us love in the form of money: https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart 🙂