Tag: masculine

On Masculine Purpose, Mission and Power

Published on by Raphael AwenLeave a comment

Help a man find purpose, embrace mission and uncover more of his innate power, and he’ll be fulfilled almost anywhere.

Purpose, mission and power are keys to the authentic masculine. Eventually, however, those keys will also disappoint and even fail you as they invite you into ever higher and truer levels of purpose, mission and power.

This masculine solution orientation is in deep contrast to the feminine innate need and desire for intimacy and vulnerability, which are not what men are primarily wired and conditioned for, yet this feminine need is what men need and use to wire up their purpose, mission and power.

The masculine needs and wants intimacy, but in their own way. It’s more about constructing this purpose, mission and power castle. The masculine wants to first feel powerful so that they can then comfortably show up safely for their version of intimacy. The male picture of intimacy is about being appreciated and respected rather than being loved, because appreciation and respect speak to his power, while raw love speaks to his need and vulnerability, which he’s still in process of coming to terms with.

How this looked for me when leaving my teen years behind was all about first ‘getting right with God.’ With many other lifetimes of conditioning intersecting with my conditioning as a child and teen, I was anxious about my eternal salvation. Once that was secured, I needed something else to further ensure my teenage depression and anxiety was a thing of the past.

I needed a mission. I needed a reflection of my power. I needed people to know me so they could appreciate, value and trust me, with a little bit of my idea of intimacy sprinkled in for security.

I left a trade/technical school path behind suddenly in favor of bible school. The world didn’t really need a technician. What they really needed was eternal salvation. I was picking up the master mission – the mission of all missions. But that alone wasn’t addressing an underlying loneliness, which left unaddressed would be sure to derail this mission.

I was ready to be a man, find a woman, pursue her, wait till marriage to have sex, (to maintain God’s guarantee that this gauntlet of relationship wouldn’t fail and decry my power – another power play). I wanted to be convinced that I was unique, special and beyond the everyday man.

In my first marriage and fatherhood, I was ready to give attention to emotional and intimacy issues from a solution based orientation, to keep things on track, to maintain my sense of self and responsibility.

As a young man, somehow not quite achieving my first choice of full time ministry, I embraced self employment as a painting contractor. Decades were spent in finding new and expansive ways to carve out my niche and be rewarded for it, and tie all of that to the purpose of marriage, and to the larger Christian mission. I never had a conscious feeling of depression until my 39th year!

The events of life converged to unravel and get underneath all this shaky purpose, mission and power to help me go to my next places of growth.

I chose my own emotional healing and spiritual growth outside of Christianity, after the Christian mission of personal salvation was done inside of me. This collapsed my entire social world and marriage. I so get why us men are hesitant to take our next ripening steps that life is inviting us into.

From seeing and feeling the world now through my lens of the reality of the Inner Protector and the soul Gatekeeper, I can so see where they both converged on a plan to answer my desperate conscious prayer to escape my self diagnosed teenage inferiority complex. It worked like a charm. Until it didn’t. Ascent and descent. Construction and deconstruction.

There are lessons to be learned and paths to be taken that can only be embraced in the ascent/construction phase of life, as well lessons and paths that can only be experienced in a descent/deconstruction phase. The rise is meant to crest and falter, which isn’t a failure at all, but the soul’s deeper growth urges breaking through the once invulnerable walls of purpose, mission and power.

Living into all of these conscious reflections and questions, with support from the divine, from soul family beloveds, in heart and soul intimacy with a counterpart soul mate, with each part of me from this life and soul aspects from other timelines is where I’m living now.

If my story resonates with yours in some way, I’d love to help you as a man discover these aspects of yourself, their needs and your next places of truer purpose, mission and power. I’d also love to be of assistance to you as a woman come to terms with your beautiful contrasting desires to be wanted to be truly met and felt by a man, your need for masculine vulnerability to underlie their power.

Please reach out via messenger. Our/my sessions page is soulfullheart.org/sessions for more info.

It’s all a such a good set of problems – really!

Much love,

Raphael

From Orphan to Sacred Union

Published on by Raphael AwenLeave a comment

The root of all of our ‘disorders’ has to do with being what we experience as being birthed out of the divine. We experience it as being de-parented from our divine and are left with the orphan wound.

Everything that’s seen as wrong with you or I can be traced back to this wound. It’s only by going into this wound as a portal, as an opening (interesting that the literal meaning of the word wound is opening) that our experience of true divine connection is restored.

Why would it all be this way? Why the being birthed out of the divine? Why the veil of forgetting? Why the seeming need for a conscious choice of awakening?

My awareness and ‘answer’ to the above questions has been that it all has to do with the divine not having a way of knowing itself, experiencing itself. What beauty is there in perfection if it cannot be observed, if it cannot be contrasted? Hence the divine created ‘other’ along with duality, both of which didn’t exist before, at least in expression.

But what’s dawning on me now, beyond all of the above understanding (that has infused a lot of my writing up till now) is a deeper feeling sense of the entire point being about communion, if I could use that word, or ‘sacred union’ to try another. This is where the feelings and experiences are likened to a ‘bridal chamber’ where the beloveds are totally in thrall to one another and all the practicalities of life are suspended to make room for this exchange of what amounts to witnessing the divine.

I’ve long thought of this as the reverse of the de-parenting or orphan experience, but what’s also dawning on me now is how this is less of a reverse, and more of a transverse, a step further along the path, rather than a step back. It makes sense that in our conditioning, we would try to retrace our steps, like finding our way out of a jungle, to try and return to source.

But the divine is not lost or seeking to restore something lost, or trying to win a battle between good and evil, or between ‘god’ and ‘devil’.

If this is all the divine’s forward step, then this all sheds a lot of light on what we call our attachments. Our sense of ‘I Am’ is conditioned to our attainments and attachments. To deny the need for a healthy ego, where so many spiritualities have detoured into (in my opinion) is to dissociate from the human experience and journey. A suicide and a ‘deicide’ (the killing of the human and the deity within) in one fell swoop.

It’s the ego that has attachments, and the journey through life, if anything, is a negotiation of one’s attachments, letting in new ones and letting go of old ones. A baby comes with none and the deceased leave with none.

This makes you and I literal expressions of the divine’s own evolution, or better said – I Am The Divine Now.

I was struck this morning by the relationship of the words ‘morph’ and ‘orphan’, where morph means to essentially shapeshift, and orphan means to lose one’s parents. The shapeshift we all underwent was being parented by the divine and then losing experiential awareness of that fact.

Now we’re left with belief based god connections that are largely robbed of genuine feeling experience or if there is some kind of emotional connection, the feelings and experiences are skewed and hijacked by the obvious orphan wound into something unnatural and unbecoming to a grounded human, often rooted in exclusivity or absolution of guilt. There’s something commoditized, scarcified and being sold about it all. But even this darkness and taking advantage of our forgetting is also sourced in the divine’s evolution. No?

If you’ve read this far, first, thank you, and allow me to make this personal.

At 62, and with a lot of change in life experience, roles in family, religion, geography, birth family gains and losses, soul family gains and losses, being challenged with letting in a ton of goodness and even finding myself choking on it all at times, I’m feeling the choking is about this ongoing negotiation in the divine’s own adventure. The choking always seems to be about letting go of an old attachment and a part of me not feeling assured of just what the new attachments will be about, or if we can make those attachments, or actually enjoy them.

I’ve felt a lot of reaction in my digestive system and sleep patterns for years even that feel like an ongoing negotiating of an upgrade to a higher level of consciousness. For so many decades prior, I could eat whatever I wanted to and sleep like a baby, and without so much as a cold in my body, let alone any deeper ailments.

Now, I’m eating far healthier than I ever did, living a stress free life in so many ways, and yet there’s this discomfort in the body, a dis-ease, a loss of the former ease.

If that doesn’t describe a death and a rebirth, I can’t imagine what would! Needing to let go of baked goods for instance, that mainstay from the hearth and heart of Gaia, usually prepared and served by the feminine heart and gifted to the children – that’s one of thee most satisfying of all attachments that I’ve come across. And rooted in so many lifetimes!

Let THAT go?!

Why?

The invitation is to feel the attachment instead of dissociating from it, or pave over it. The guidance I’m getting is that it is in the willingness to actually feel loss, to actually experience loss, (which is the very thing the divine couldn’t do ‘before’) that is what moves us forward in the divine’s birth canal into what hasn’t actually existed before in divinity, what actually leads to the bridal chamber of sacred union with all of life and love. A loss wouldn’t be a loss if there was no attachment to it. You came here to navigate attachments. You came here to have them and to let them go, and make new ones.

This speaks to the morphing going on in the orphan, shapeshifting from one who’s lost and losing (a loser) to one who’s found and gaining, a ‘foundling’ we could call you.

That word just popped out and I had to look it up – get this:

Foundling: A “foundling” refers to an infant or young child who has been abandoned and found with no known parents or guardians. This term is often used to describe a child discovered and taken in by others or an institution, as the child’s origin is unknown.

Wow!

I was raised on those words from the hymn ‘Amazing Grace’ – ‘I once was lost but now am found’. I believe that these words are the divine’s own testimony if you will. You are the divine’s expression right now, as you are, and how your and my ‘attachment disorders’ are currently playing out and through is all just the cutting edge of divine evolution.

Maybe all we’re really in need of is a little grief counseling, when it comes right down to it. I know of no better way to do this than to show up for the part of me who’s in the grief, who’s negotiating the change of conditionings currently playing out in my world. This is literally being in the bridal chamber – a place for sorrow and joy in equal measure!

One more thought in closing today. The word diet literally means ‘way of life’. A change in diet is a change in one’s way of life. All cultures have a cultured diet. It feels like the change in way of life we are being invited into is about all of the ‘foods’ that have sustained us. All of our appetites that are shifting.

I can’t think of anything more fun than being connected with people who are living out this cutting edge of change in their way of life. Challenging? Without a doubt! My greatest so far, but also the most rewarding and where my appetites are!

Bon Apetite!

Love,

Raphael

The mushroom pic is from along the trail from this week’s hike. Strangely, every single one these guys only grew along the very edge of the trail, nowhere else to be seen, seemingly wanting to be noticed. How divine!

Entering The Portal Of Our Growth & Embodiment

Published on by Raphael AwenLeave a comment

I’m getting a personal and private download about you as a masculine being in your life as you know it right now. (It also happens to apply to all men, but I invite you to see if fits for you personally…)

There is before you, percolating, bouncing, calling for your attention – in the circum-stances of your life, standing in circumference around you – a portal. In the drama playing out in your life right now, there is what amounts to either a big block or a big portal, depending on how you relate to it.

Like a henge of standing stones, you may know and sense something profound was intended in these constructs of these circumstances, yet, it’s unknown and mysterious at the same time as to why they are here and where they might take you, depending on how you respond to them.

This portal is an offer to go to your next places of soul growth, human embodiment, and healing of wounds. This portal also wants to yield to you the soul gifts that were intended for you. Gifts that you’ll never know unless you consciously receive them.

These circumstances can either close in on you to shut you down, or they can be embraced, negotiated with, owned, and entered into, to allow yourself to be taken into your next soul growth and human embodiment, bringing both endings and beginnings.

The circumstances are so tailor made for you, and are so ready to shape-shift as you relate with them, rather than avoid them.

A difficult and humbling piece in all of this is that we never get free of these growth portals, in the sense that a current part of you may feel bothered by the challenge before you. The courage and humility you respond with now won’t actually be any different than the courage and humility that will be called upon years from now. It becomes easier and more natural for sure, but not something we get beyond in this life.

So a question arises, that deserves your heart attention; do you still want to continue on an awakening journey if the challenges cease? What if the challenges actually increase instead? I know, that’s not very good marketing, to kill the false hopes, but I feel how you’ve been fed and are now fed-up with false hopes and the emotional charades of a false-light spirituality.

Something more is wanting arise in your heart, soul and body. Something more is wanting to radiate out from you. Something more is wanting to be shared and partaken of together in community of soul family and awakening brotherhood.

Regardless of the shit flying overhead, you have a choice and choices to make.

How you respond to that choice is what allows you to sanely navigate the storm without regrets in the end, and even to endure deep loss with self love and love for all others involved. You can even make a wrong choice and it will be transmuted into the right choice in the end if it’s made from this kind of heart opening and humility.

There is a real hopeful outcome to embrace, but it’s not exactly relief in the way parts of us have related to just wanting relief. Real relief brings new growth and new challenges. In some ways, the storm picks up. That can’t be denied.

Maybe the deeper relief a part of you is hoping for in the relief of circumstances is the soul relief in finally stepping into, and no longer avoiding your larger soul choices? That would be a profound relief, but on a whole other level.

You can show up to feel each part of you and their reactions to the polarity in the circumstances at hand. That’s why it’s a pretzel, because parts of us are attached to opposite outcomes or desires. And before we use that word ‘attachment’ in a negative way, let’s feel how boring and empty of a human being you’d be without any ‘attachments’, and how useless to others around you, except possibly is dressing up that old false god of being ‘so spiritual’.

Forget about friendship or romance. Forget about being alive, really. Without any attachments, I can’t locate you, or actually have a relationship with you. You’re not actually here.

Don’t ‘zero-point’ out your humanity in your embrace of your divinity. They both want to fire at the 100% mark. That’s 200%! Arithmetically, that’s 200 parts per 100…, huh, that’s makes no sense! Exactly. It’s better experienced than explained. There is no separation actually between your humanity and your divinity unless you create one for yourself. (Which we all did, and do, so no judgment there) 💚

Love to you as you sit in the center of your standing stone henge of circum-stances and embrace and transmute what lies before you – whole universes of magic await you.

Back story to this photo:

This photo was from this early morning here at the Golden Beach, Albufeira where Jelelle and I feel so grateful to have the opportunity to take in the sun codes here, spending a few days, on the 2 year anniversary of our departure from Canada!

How we frame what we are surrounded by composes what we see and that then in turn effects our next choices.

Beauty can so be overwhelming to us, leaving us disempowered, separated from the beauty, reminded of what we don’t have, can’t have and won’t have…, unless we change the frame around how we are seeing and feeling the beauty around us.

What if the beauty is a mirror? For men, I’d ask you, what frames of beauty do you struggle to take in?

Does it show up in pornography? Is it in over energizing achievements that once nourished you, but no longer do? Is it in the pretense of spiritual achievements or status that leave you separated from actually partaking of meaningful personal enduring relationships? Is it in amassing money, but feeling more and more personally bankrupt as you do so? What if all these things of beauty are holding not just a message for you, but also a means to change your life?

What if the darkening skies above you of addiction, in whatever form you are facing it, are actually this sacred portal, awaiting your awakening choice to enter into to see what wants to come next for you?

*****

Raphael Awen is a Sacred Masculine Love Ambassador and Co-Creator/Teacher/Facilitator/Ambassador of SoulFullHeart Healing, a healing process and paradigm offering New Gaia Ascension frequencies to transmute trauma into love on emotional/spiritual/physical levels. For more information about 1:1 individual sessions with SoulFullHeart Facilitators, virtual group calls, writings/books, and videos, visit soulfullheart.org

The Desire For What Really Matters In The Ascending Masculine

Published on by Raphael AwenLeave a comment

By  Raphael Awen

I know some things about the ascending masculine, if I could call it that.

Men who feel a conscious desire to excel and grow and matter in life, in love, in their relationships.

I know these things about you, because I’ve come to know them in myself.

There’s always much more to come to know, and one of the growth points for this ascending masculine is the challenge and willingness to feel like a beginner over and over again, to admit that there’s so much that can’t be delineated, measured or accurately described with the mental body.

It can only be felt with the heart.

My heart wants to grow beyond what feels like present limitations. I want to grow in being transparent with my world, to hide my real self less and less and less. I want to radiate that presence in the physical world around me and into all the soul connections and timelines I’m a part of.

Nothing else ‘matters’, for all that matters comes from the divine ‘Ma-ter’, from where we derive our word ‘Mother’. She Ma-ter-ializes all things that matter to me. In union with divine father, we have a template for reparenting all the parts of us who long for reunion.

What is it that is calling for your heart attention and choice? Do you have a sense of what wants to be next for you? Are you willing to be transparent with yourself and your world about what’s not working, what hurts like hell and what you do know about your calling and being?

I’d love to serve you in that. I offer a free intro call as a way for you and I to connect to feel if the work I offer, along with my heart, feel like a fit for you. More info about that here: soulfullheart.org/sessions

It is so interesting to feel how the feminine has been willing to lead in this domain of really feeling and really healing. I personally know of several women who’s eyes are on the horizon for a man who’s ready to choose himself, his calling and purpose. Mateship offers a huge growth ground, especially when it’s mutually chosen for one’s deepest growth and learning. Maybe that’s a big one for you as it has been for me.

I very much welcome hearing from you and would love to host my free intro with you to help you feel if working together ongoingly feels like a fit for you. If not, no questions asked or anything further expected.

~ Raphael

I just got back today from a few days at the ocean with my beloved, Jelelle Awen.

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.  Visit soulfullheart.org for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc. 

The SoulFullHeart Portal on Mighty Networks, a virtual gathering place for community engagement, exclusive content from us such as energy update writings and guided meditation videos, plus community forum threads with topics and groups that you can read, join, and contribute to as you want. You can join us at the SoulFullHeart Portal here: soulfullheartportal.mn.co/ for a monthly subscription of $22.22 USD

The Power And Gifts Of The Inner Sacred Union

Published on by Gabriel AmaraLeave a comment

The one thing that feels universal about our humanity is our relationship to our masculinity and femininity. In my past and current processes I have been in an exploration of this very thing within myself. It has been one of the most illuminating parts of my journey. It has not been all of it, but has been a good portion of it.

When I am out in the world I feel the ebbs and flows of these energies moving within and outside of me. Merging, conflicting, dancing, resisting, and hiding. Really fascinating! As humans I don’t think we can ignore this polarity that is staring at us right in the face. It has so much influence on how we relate, create, love, and hate.

I have come in closer intimacy with the complexity and simplicity of this dynamic within me. As a man that was always in some confusion about my own masculinity I am coming to terms with what that means for me personally as I become more familiar with my feminines. Yes, plural.

We so easily just want to make it one thing, like ‘my feminine side’. Very general and obtuse. But what if was more specific and acute. What then? What comes up to feel something inside that has its own perspective and needs? Its own voice and passion?

The same could be said about our own Inner Child. Tapping into their voice, their needs, their passion. Now a step further. What about an Inner Feminine Child? This just goes on and on! My point is that we are much more than ‘this’ and ‘that’. We are composition of so much more than we have allowed ourselves to be open to. Of course this goes into our celestial beings as well.

As a man, this journey is one that feels pretty important and alive. It is a journey that can help to rumble the foundations of the patriarchy by our own willingness to face what we have kept in our shadow. Our relationship to the feminine parts and aspects of us that have been sequestered for a very long time.

Let us be like the prince that woke up Snow White and see what she has to offer us in our heart, our intuition, our sexuality, and our masculinity. She is ready to be connected to and yet fears being rejected once again. Let us feel what we fear the most about her so we can begin to heal this global dynamic once and for all.

Jelelle and Raphael Awen will be hosting a Sacred Union group transmission next Saturday, Oct. 10 via Zoom for a small donation. They will be talking about outer romance that arises from the work of the inner romance. For more info visit: www.soulfullheart.org/grouptransmission.

*****

Gabriel Heartman is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator and Collaborator.  Visit https://www.soulfullheart.org for more information about sessions, group calls/events, videos, community, etc.

The Reunification & Reconciliation Of The Inner Masculine/Feminine

Published on by Gabriel AmaraLeave a comment

This geography is bringing up so much around what I feel is a reunification of the masculine and feminine within. I have been working with the inner feminine for some time now and it is ticking up a notch and a half since I have been here.

But this ‘working’ is not just some generalized notion of ‘The Feminine’, but rather a very specific relationship with a part or aspect of me in a more intimate way. It is ‘my feminine’. I don’t mean that possessively, but rather more personally. They have a name and a frequency just like any person I may have a relationship with.

This has taken some time for my masculine parts to let in, yet has brought with it so many gifts for them. There is something to lean into and to learn from that has been a bit out of their grasp of conditioned consciousness. There is a need and desire for reconciliation and reunification on both sides.

I feel this feminine aspect really desiring this attention and cultivation. She wants to help bridge the gap with my inner masculine aspects that have some things to clear around the repression (and fear!) of her and The Feminine in general. I feel this process actually landing me in more of a union and dance of gendered poles rather than a blending of the two in some unisexual way.

I will do this through journaling, meditation, and bringing as much of them into my waking reality as I can. As this communion deepens, I feel I will be present to my own needs for romance and service as they will each bring their own gifts and passions.

I want to thank Raphael Awen for being a model and bridge to this inner love affair that offers so much for my sacred masculine embodiment that is personal to me and not some archetypal masculine that feels inauthentic to my parts. I look forward to sharing more about this ongoing healing between these very powerful energies.

*****

Gabriel Heartman is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator and Collaborator.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartorg.com for more information about sessions, group calls/events, videos, community, etc.

Feeling Your ‘Circum-Stances’ And Desires With Your Inner Masculine

Published on by Raphael AwenLeave a comment

The ‘circum-stances’ of your life as you know it today is literally a standing stone circle of what you know as your ‘surroundings’.

Like Stonehenge is a wonder of how it came to be, so is this personal circle – created as both a mirror and a portal by parts of you and your Metasoul aspects. A mirror that tells the honest truth of what is, how it came to be, and a portal (Merkabah vehicle) to what honestly wants to be.

When you feel and bridge to the polarity of both your desires and despair, coming from your parts and Metasoul aspects, you create sacred movement to new circumstances that you are now willing to dream as possible; that you were willing to feel the IMpossibility of; and bridge between. You make the discordant resonant.

Your Inner Masculine wants to get on with this new mandate, but may feel stuck and in need of your heart presence and awakening. Settling for a spirituality that makes desire bad, or ‘of the ego’ is one sure way to neuter your Inner Masculine, who is so deeply needed right now. Just ask your Inner Feminine is that’s true. ‘De-sire’ literally means ‘from the sire’. What is your masculine wanting to sire into your life? Is your Inner Feminine ready to dance?

Your Inner Masculine wants to get practical – wants to engage in doing, acting, effecting and accomplishing, and he wants to dance with and do it for your Inner Feminine – how do you express that as you ascend out of 3D and move towards 5D?

Photo courtesy of https://unsplash.com/@kmitchhodge

*****

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.  Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc.

Telling Your Truth With Both Strength And Compassion

Published on by Raianna ShaiLeave a comment

By Raianna Shai

Telling your truth can be a multi-layered and surprisingly complicated process. It’s rare that we are taught how to truly and lovingly set boundaries, speak honestly, and be vulnerable in our relationships. In order to tell your truth from love rather than fear, there’s a beautiful blend of both the masculine spine and confidence and the feminine heart and compassion.

I’ve been learning a lot about my own process when it comes to telling my truth and I’ve realized how compartmentalized it has been for me. I’ve never been all that confident with telling people how they affect me or what I’m really feeling. I am very open about what is going on in my life but when it comes to anything that could cause conflict, hurt, or harm, part of me avoids it like the plague.

One way that I tell my truth is solely from my unhealed feminine heart. This can be beautiful and soft – but without a more masculine holding of it, it can come out meek and small. This is when I will share how someone made me feel but then follow it up quickly with “but it’s not your fault!”. I have this desperate need in parts of me to make people feel safe and comfortable. But this way of being allows people to think that what I have to say isn’t important. That I don’t need them to see or hear me because it’s my responsibility to take care of it and heal. When sometimes, it really is the other person and their energy that isn’t okay for me.

Wrapping conflict in layers of padding and protection, trying to keep it from exploding or becoming real – this isn’t actually loving to anyone. This hinders rather than supports real growth. Being able to tell someone that something they have said or done hurts you brings you that much closer together. It gives you the opportunity to get to a deeper place around it and actually deepen your bond. It doesn’t have to be something that deeply offends or hurts them, it can actually be a way to show them that you care and that you want MORE of them not less. You just want more of who they really are, not more of the walls or protection that allows them to do or say things that hurt you.

Another way of sharing your truth is through pure, unhealed masculine unsentimentality. This is a powerful part of us that can see the bigger picture and make decisions not based in attachment or codependency. But when I’ve shared my truth from this place alone, I have been able to really hurt another person. It makes people feel judged and small and not cared for at all. It does not allow space for the other person to grow because there is no heart there to really feel them in it. Why would a flower want to bloom in the desert?

Then we look at a blend of these two energies. A part of us that has the spine to make hard decisions that is best for everyone and a loving part of us that can create a compassionate space for hurt to arise, be felt, and potentially move in to something new. Without the heart, there is very little room for anything to shift or change in the way that you want. Without the spine, there are rare moments when the heart is really heard and felt.

I have been feeling the consequences of this compartmentalization lately but I have felt so much gratitude for being able to discover why it’s there inside of me and what was even going on when it happened. Now I can learn and grow from my experiences and offer loving boundaries to anyone I encounter next. These strategies simply came from fear for me. A fear of getting really close to someone, of being seen for who I really am, of shattering an image of perfection, of potentially hurting someone else, and so much more. We all have our reasons for being this way – all we can do is learn, grow, forgive, move on and love as fully as possible!

Raianna Shai is a SoulFullHeart facilitant and social media maven for SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit  www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, events, videos, community, etc. Return LOVE in money form: https://www.paypal.me/supportsoulfullheart or visit our Patreon page to become a monthly supporter: https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Boys Will Be Boys…And Sensitive Too!

Published on by Gabriel Heartman2 Comments

This is a question that was asked in response to my recent post about my engagement to Kalayna:

¨I am wondering if uncovering the sensual/sensitive part of the masculine is a deepening in your masculinity and if it is asking you to be more feminine than you are comfortable with?”

This was a very intriguing question to me and one that I feel is a part of any man’s sacred human journey. This journey is an exploration, uncovering, and integration of both poles of our being. These energies are a part of our Divine nature and in search of a dance of balance.

As a boy and young man growing up, I always felt different than many of my other friends when it came to such things as playing sports, construction, conflict, and girls to name a few. My emotional body just seemed different too. A bit more sensitive and was attributed to me being more of a mama’s boy rather than seeing it as a closer relationship to my feminine. So in a way, the sensitive side of my masculinity was always there, just not recognized as such.

As I am connecting more with a feminine part of me, I am beginning to see where she was always trying to be ‘one of the guys’ while not really feeling comfortable with it as it approached the more shadow edges of masculinity. (I prefer not to use the term ‘toxic masculinity’ as that seems to undermine and judge this part of us as bad or unwanted. More on that in a future post). Yet, to ‘fit in’ I assumed many conditioned behaviors to adjust and be more of what was considered a culturally acceptable male.

So, there was a conflict between my traditional masculine part and my feminine part looking for a way to feel safe and authentic in the world. Until this process of differentiating between the two, the conflict was a bit maddening to both of them. Now that I have cultivated a relationship between both of them, I can begin to feel myself as a bridge to them in my daily experience.

I am learning to feel less concerned about how that femininity expresses and how it is perceived. My traditional masculine is learning to feel the gifts of the inner feminine and how much healing and beauty there is in her. My feminine is beginning to feel safer in the outward masculine leadership and the showing up as a masculine presence. There is more to activate in my masculine that I realize has been shielded by my feminine. This is what I feel leads to a deepening of both poles of my being.

Raphael and I will be addressing this and many other topics for men and spiritual ascension in upcoming videos that we hope to begin today. A woman’s perspective is also very much encouraged to give us reflection and direction as well. We look forward to taking in comments and suggestions as we explore this very important topic to both of us, and to help bridge the inner parts exploration with guided meditations.

To hear more about masculine healing check out these videos from Jelelle Awen’s 33 Day series where Raphael and I were guests:

Inner Masculine/Feminine Balance: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nvi_m4i1KvQ&list=PLNmrHdaQSAvLiLpw1qSOmQE-tsqhGSAD3&index=17&t=0s

Healing The Sacred Masculine: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X6ueoUK4aDo&index=30&list=PLNmrHdaQSAvLiLpw1qSOmQE-tsqhGSAD3

Photo by Michael Prewett on Unsplash

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Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our website to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife/donations.

The Poultice Of Love And The Fear Of Intimacy

Published on by Gabriel Heartman2 Comments

Wow! What a response the last couple of days to our engagement. Thank you so much to everyone who left your well-wishes and congratulations.

One thing I took away from it all is that one way or another we all seek Love. Maybe there are parts that may feel despair, doubt, or indifference to it, but at our core we love Love. The only thing that gets similar reactions is anything based on Fear. So in some ways, we have parts that love Fear too. Yeah, I know, an oxymoron.

This is the sacred dance though. The two poles of our BEing that seem at odds but are just trying to reconcile each other. As we all continue to heal our Selves with Love and for the sake of Love, we enter a new relationship to Fear. Something shifts in the power structure. The deepening commitment and claim of this romance with Kalayna will certainly bring up another layer of this relationship to fear of intimacy. Deep transformational intimacy that takes us to the core of our deepest traumas and pains that can only surface from the poultice of Love.

So the collective response is saying to me, “YES! Keep going! Keep feeling the edges of this because I want this too!” or “YES! Bring more of this into the world as it adds to mine as well!”. Even if Kalayna and I don’t “make it” in the long run, we are committing ourselves to this deeper healing that has collective and personal consequences. “Success” is only determined if we feel everything we to feel and say everything we need to say while we are engaged in this marriage of Soul and Heart. We are bound by this in desire, not duty.

I feel to continue this exploration of marriage, intimacy, love, and fear through the heart of the Masculine. What is its relationship and desire to those very things? Right now it is about being centered in Heart while exploring the Soul in healing the parts of me still in shadow around intimacy with the Feminine. It is a sacred one that I accept with dedication and passion.

If you are a man or a woman with this rising desire in you, stay tuned for more. I am also available for sessions to support you along the journey of this sacred healing and letting in of Love. Thank you so much again for all the outpouring of support and love for us both. ❤

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Painting by Eduardo Rodriguez Calzado

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our website to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife/donations.