Inspirational – Page 17 – Divine Self Embodiment Blog (Formerly SoulFullHeart)

Shedding Layers Formed Through Shadow Mate Relationships

Published on November 20, 2019February 5, 2020 by Jelelle Awen2 Comments

By Jelelle Awen

Shedding more layers as we move through the 11/11 to 12/12 passageway on an ongoing basis. THIS is a strong and powerful molting process, operating at the deepest levels and layers of our individuated Metasouls AND also our Soul Family Monad Groups. The shedding is of skins that are no longer needed, no longer can be ‘worn’ in a comfortable fashion, no longer fit who we are becoming.

This shedding process is painful at times. Parts of us become necessarily attached to these layers, skins, masks, and protections. We NEED them until we no longer do. As they dissolve away, this is usually in response to loss in our lives, to things that have fallen and given away, to letting go, to separations and to completions. This collapsing of timelines is happening at accelerating levels as we move into the higher frequency 2020 Clearer Living/Loving timeline.

This collapsing of previous grounds is happening in relationships especially, so that we can then see what binds and ties have been there that no longer serve us. Soul Family Monad Groups are shaking out with shadow mate bonds dissolving, along with the previous agreements that held them together. A Shadow Mate is someone who IS in your Soul Family Group, so you are deeply bonded to them on those higher levels. Yet, their purpose is usually to represent your shadow so that you can see it, experience it, and therefore heal it. This can be represented in the usual narcissist/empath experience with your shadow mate holding the narcissist polarity. It is seen in romantic relationships with quite a lot of back and forth, push and pull, and inability to settle into resonant grounds together on a consistent basis (even as there IS love and passion there.)

Outgrowing shadow mates is an important phase in ongoing awakening, as usually the transactability with them is fairly toxic, even as it brings so much growth. Making them a ‘villian’ or a ‘bad person’ in your life though is to miss the bigger picture of their purpose. They show their love for you and their dedication to the healing of the soul family group BY serving in this polarizing role. Someone has to, as it is the experience of duality that allows for the healing of it and return to more neutrality/less polarization. The shadow mates also offer a deep opportunity to move from resentful grudges to forgiveness.

A soul can be a shadow mate AND a light/love soul mate too, especially if they are consciously working on healing their OWN shadows. Letting go of a shadow mate (and this is not just romantic yet also friendship, spiritual teachers/healers, siblings, and other birth family member bonds) is a catalytic death and rebirth process with much to feel in every phase of it. Landing in a place of forgiveness and compassion toward ALL relationships in your life and how they have served you allows for the dissolving of any karmic, toxic binds in your Metasoul that would capitulate the need for Shadow mate-based relationships.

An important phase can be connecting with the parts of you that have experienced the relationship and allowing their thoughts and emotions (no matter how charged) to be FELT by your compassionate essence. There can be quite a suppression of truth telling in these kinds of relationships and a lot of it backed up in the emotional body leading to depression, anxiety, inability to set boundaries, etc. As all this is felt with the parts of you who need you, depression can move to passion, anxiety to trust with an ability to bring your truth and set boundaries.

As you hold a trust and honor for all those souls who have agreed to journey with you, no matter what the experience has been like, you are able to move into a much higher frequency of perspective around them. You are able to communicate with their Higher Self as well, to understand more about the relationship and WHY it was experienced the way it was. Whenever you connect to the higher purpose, so you BECOME it and are able to offer love where previously there was mostly fear.

By understanding, loving, and feeling your OWN shadow more (both from this life expression and especially in terms of your Metasoul’s legacy expression), you don’t need the outside experience of it in the same way. Here is a guided meditation to meet your shadow aspects: https://youtu.be/4VnfgzhzzjE

Much love to you as we continue our journey through the shedding, the sorting, and the forgiving!

Jelelle Awen

I offer 1:1 powerful healing sessions with women over Zoom or here in person in Victoria, BC. to feel into these inner and outer relationship grounds together. More information here: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions

Jelelle Awen is Co-Creator/Teacher/Group Facilitator/Ambassador of SoulFullHeart Way Of Life, a healing process and paradigm offering New Gaia Ascension frequencies to transmute trauma into love on emotional/spiritual/physical levels. For more information about 1:1 individual sessions with her for women and with other SoulFullHeart Facilitators, virtual group transmissions, four day gatherings in Victoria, BC, writings/books, and videos, visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com.

Connecting With The You Who Can Feel You Reacting

Published on October 31, 2019 by Raphael Awen1 Comment

By Raphael Awen

There’s you having a reaction with no one home to feel you having the reaction. You’ve simply become the reaction without awareness or consciousness of the reaction.

Then there’s you observing the you that’s having a reaction. Conscious awareness is being brought to the reaction. An aware you is showing up to take responsibility. That’s a big step ahead in growth for sure, but it’s also fraught with other reactions of a judgment and shame nature; an Inner Punisher showing up on the scene.

THEN, there’s a you who can feel and bring love and awareness to ALL of these states and phases of your consciousness evolution.

This higher self version of you can feel that you came here to have all of these stages, that you as well as your higher self needed this experience of both forgettance and remembrance. We chose a process of forgoing awareness as well as the entire process of returning to, and reigning in, full awareness.

Your reactions, along with your reactions to your reactivity, all the way to loving each and every one of them and especially the part of you having the experience is what you and I came here for.

Because we are both one and individual at the same time, whatever you figure out for yourself in awakening and remembering process is instantly downloaded into the one mind that we all share and made available more and more to those who are ready for and needing the download codes of what it is we are all growing into. This is where all purpose is sourced in. You get to play with whatever passion purpose expression you want to that is unique to you and part of the great remembering that we all share.

What are the big reactions that are moving through your life now?

Can you bring your awareness to them and feel any judgment reactions to the reactions?

Can you then show up with a curious and open heart to feel it all?

Would you be willing to get to intimately know and feel the parts of you that have lived your life as you up till now?

This is the new awakening in spirituality today. It’s no longer about becoming ‘higher frequency’ without getting to know the part of you pushing for the higher frequency attainment. It’s no longer about attainment, but is more about reverence for the entire process; the fusion stage of simply being your reactions; the stage of dawning awareness of your reactions; the stage of cascading reactions to your awareness of your reactions; and then all the way to revering it all as your sacred path and choice – and in that reverence, setting out to become intimate with it all.

I’m in it. You’re in it. We’re all in it.

If I can help you go into your next choice and awareness points, I’d like to invite you to consider a free intro session to the SoulFullHeart process. If you ask for the free intro session, myself or Gabriel Heartman will send you three simple questions to respond to and a short guided meditation to meet your Inner Protector to engage in, and then from there, we’ll set up a time to have the intro together for 30-45 minutes over Zoom. We’ll spend that time together and then from there, you can decide if you’d like to have regular sessions in ongoing process together.

How does that sound?

******

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc. Visit our donations page to offer a monthly or one time money donation to support our offerings.

Anxiety: A Peek Into The SoulFullHeart Process

Published on October 31, 2019October 31, 2019 by Raianna Shai2 Comments

By Raianna Shai

A couple of nights ago, I experienced anxiety in a way that I hadn’t in quite a long time. One thing that was very different this time was simply my awareness of it. I never totally realized that I had quite a bit of anxiety in the past. I always thought that because it wasn’t inherently debilitating that I was just an overthinker.

But I feel that this experience is quite prevalent in most of us, and is a mix of different relationships between parts of us.

For myself, it felt like my inner child feeling scared of “getting in trouble”. She wants so badly to love, feel joy and play in the beauty of life. But when things happen in my life that are more “adult” and difficult, my Protector will put her out front so that it’s harder for others to get mad at me. Who really wants to yell at a child?

My Inner Protector also has fear, for getting in trouble means he has somehow failed me. So he tends to try and avoid these situations as much as possible in order to protect my other parts such as my inner child.

Then my Inner Punisher comes into play by judging my Inner Child for getting something wrong in the first place. For he’s constantly looking for things that she could improve. When deep down, he really just judges himself for the way he feels he has to be.

All this to say that no matter how bad my anxiety or depression gets, the biggest thing that gets me through and allows me to grow from the situation is feeling the dynamics going on inside.

It’s different for everyone but what’s the same is that all of our parts ultimately want love and to be heard. So if we take the time and space (if we can) to get to know these parts of ourselves then MAYBE we can begin to draw these feelings and situations less and less.

Here is *sort of* a poem I wrote to illustrate the process I had that night!

————————————-

Tears of hopeless frustration

Feeling lost in a sea of emotion

Stomach tense in fear and expectation

Anxiety takes hold with intense ferocity

Sleep is lost to the silence of the night

Tossing and turning with measured repetition

Then I remember the family inside of me

Waiting to be felt

Waiting to be heard and loved

“What can I do for you, my loves?”

“How can I help?”

“I’m scared and just want to have joy”

Says the little one

“I fear failure, that I put you in danger”

Says the fierce protector

“I don’t like this, and I need to to fix it”

Says the punishing voice

“You are all loved, supported and heard”

I say

“You, little one, need not to worry of things in the adult world. You are the joy and love I need to tell my truth with compassion.”

“You, my loving guard, need not to protect the others. I am here now, to hold the space with intention and strength.”

“You, my precious critic, need not to judge yourself or others. You were needed once before, but now you may rest.”

And with that

The child tucked in

The protector at rest

The punisher soothed

I sleep in peace

*****

Raianna Shai is a SoulFullHeart facilitant and social media maven for SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, events, videos, community, etc. Return LOVE in money form: https://www.paypal.me/supportsoulfullheart or visit our Patreon page to become a monthly supporter: https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

The Process Of Uncovering Gratitude

Published on October 13, 2019October 26, 2019 by Kasha Rosa2 Comments

by Kalayna Solais

Feels strange and yet somehow ‘right’ to have ‘Canadian Thanksgiving’ tomorrow, even though in my life I feel like on a multi-dimensional level, gratitude is continuing to deepen and expand out from me and parts of me at every turn.

This year, I feel like it’s a time to really, soberly, look at, see, FEEL my life as it is and not force my parts into an ‘attitude of gratitude’ but to really feel them in where they might still be tripping over the whole concept of being grateful and why.

I know that inside of me and in my process over the years there’s been a lot of layers of entitlement to feel and heal. I’ve felt though, with each part that’s had this disposition, that underneath the entitlement is a sense of a lack of worthiness. A sense that they won’t get what they want unless they fight for it and ultimately too, a belief that they won’t actually EVER get what they want and that others will instead.

I’m still feeling into what’s truly underneath that meme that’s been ringing and pinging inside for so long and on a soul level too, yet it’s being uncovered with effort and desire to heal it. And, it feels like this ‘Thanksgiving’ celebration day tomorrow helps to bring in some sort of intention around it… around truly and viscerally healing the entitlement that still lingers and moving it into even deeper gratitude than I already feel.

Really feeling our gratitude is actually quite the process. Any bypassing that’s had to be done in order to ‘get there’ actually just buries the parts that feel like they aren’t getting what they want or even what they need, especially from you to you, you to them, parts of you to other parts of you in their relationship with each other.

There’s a lot to feel about this in the collective too of course, and it’s evidenced by our overuse of natural resources, lack of feeling and compassion towards one another and being competitive instead. Even in our domination of animals. Any sort of ‘Thanksgiving’ holiday is really just another reminder to have a look at all of this and how it’s been configured inside of each of us. What IS your personal relationship to gratitude and how does it live in you?

I feel this question as a meditation for myself… and one that I ongoingly want to feel deeply into as I DO have so much to be grateful for, always. And so much that I have earned through personal process, through ‘crawling through glass’, and also, through following with courage what my own soul and heart have wanted more than anything else. In other words… I think the deepest source of gratitude for anything in our lives HAS to be rooted in feeling grateful, ultimately, for our own journeys and where they have had to go, where they are now, and where they seem to be leading.

Much love to you… and if you’re celebrating this weekend… Happy Thanksgiving!

***

Kalayna Solais is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for women, energy healer, soul scribe, and poetess. Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Vulnerable Sharing From A Moment Of Deep Tears

Published on October 4, 2019October 13, 2019 by Kasha Rosa2 Comments

by Kalayna Solais

Crying in the moment and I can’t 100% track it, what’s going on behind the tears… but, I thought I’d share and see what is coming through my heart in this moment. Take you along with me.

Sometimes there is just so much sadness that comes up in me. It’s not always linked to what I’ve gone through or am going through now. It’s not always connected to an inner process.

Sometimes it just IS. And there are so many layers to it… some of them mine, some of them not so much.

The deeper I feel it… the more I feel the sadness of a part of me coming up, but a sadness in my soul in a ‘Cries of the World’ kind of way, too.

My empath has been becoming even more sensitive than ever lately. The sense of needing the same masculinized protection inside has been healing for years. It’s time to have a more exposed, feeling, feminine heart that doesn’t need protection but needs to vulnerably share and deeply feel.

Beginning new things is always something sensitive for the younger, very feminine parts of me that care so much about being liked, being accepted, doing well… and also care SO much about others, about helping others heal, about having resonant relationships where there is genuine care, and about seeing this world we live in becoming more gentle, more open-hearted and caring, more compassionate, and ultimately much, much safer to live and breathe and emote and LOVE in.

There’s still a lingering sadness in my feminine that my last relationship is over. There’s still a way that it’s just HARD to see the growth that couldn’t happen while we were together. And there’s still so much confusion as to why this has been true. I can feel this aspect’s confusion though… her pain around relating to men in general that some of it stems from and how this relates to her relationship to my masculine inside.

When it comes to men, it’s just been SO hard to try and become what she isn’t in order to get loved, feel wanted, and belong to the man’s world. Often this has meant sacrificing something of herself for the sake of the relationship and keeping it kosher. And over the last couple of months of inner process between her and my masculine aspect(s) I’ve become more awakened to how this dynamic has lived inside of me. How he has caretaken something in her which has kept her small and how she has not been able to vulnerably invite him to actually feel her and meet her halfway in any area so that they can feel each other and really, genuinely BE together in collaboration, mutual respect for each other’s bigness, and LOVE.

So there’s that going on in this ‘now’ moment. And it doesn’t need solving or resolving… just more feeling. There’s definitely some other layer of this inner relationship coming up for me to tenderly feel with these aspects, more push-pull towards each other.

Some of the tears aren’t mine, so there’s that layer too. I don’t mind moving the ‘Cries of The World’ through my heart though. I actually feel honoured when I feel them and when I feel others and their genuine pain. This doesn’t plague me or bother me. The ‘Death Doula’ inside of me can be with the mourning and the sadness and even the frustrations. The frustrations through, because I don’t have many of my own anymore, especially in my masculine aspect, quickly move into the more vulnerable feelings of sadness that are beneath them.

Questions of “Why isn’t there more love flow in this world yet and heart warmth too?”; “Why are Disclosure people so intense still and not seeing how any focus on warfare exacerbates the problems instead of moves it all into new territory?”; “Why aren’t more souls choosing to REALLY go inward yet?”

As I feel my heart ask these questions, I know the answer already… “It’s not yet time… but it will be eventually. And the only thing YOU can do is keep going inward, keep feeling, keep sharing, and keep growing and healing, as you also respond to those who ARE ready”.

So, there it all is… different raw layers coming up on this early, EARLY Friday morning.

I don’t often share this way because it seems to draw caretaking from others sometimes. I’m sharing this today to show how I process, the different layers I feel going on in so many moments of deep feeling, and I trust that what is meant to resonate and support your own process, will.

Thank you so much for taking this in as you feel to for yourself.

***

Journey To Feeling Genuinely Blessed

Published on October 1, 2019October 4, 2019 by Kasha Rosa2 Comments

By Kalayna Solais

Feeling quite blessed and surrendered this morning…

If you’d known me personally even just a year ago, you’d probably be amazed that I can get to a place of really feeling this deeply… so much restlessness, so much pushing and pressing, and I’ve had to love it all from roots to wings.

The process of learning to land more and more in love, especially within, is no joke at all. It’s nothing that can really be expedited. This over-arching process of Ascension certainly takes the time it takes, doesn’t it? It reminds me yet again that the destination isn’t the goal, it’s the journey itself. And the journey, for me, as been continually dropping into feeling, to get to know my parts and my Metasoul deeper, to have a more fulfilling and enriching relationship with the Divine that can only come from taking conscious steps and making choices that do actually serve your budding self-love and desire to love others more and with more compassion. For that is where the Divine can be the most deeply felt and experienced, as well as invited IN.

So why in this particular moment do I feel blessed and surrendered?

It’s not like I have “all my ducks in a row” right now. It’s not like, in the most typical 3D terms, I have the “perfect life”. It’s not like I don’t also have some rounds of sadness move in and out of my field as my ache to share my space and my heart with others and eventually a mate continues to live inside of me.

But… what I do have, I have in spades. I have growing self-love. I have a community I’ve earned my way to drawing and being a part of. I have more resonance around me than ever before, geographically, in my ‘jobs’, in all of my relationships that I choose to keep close to me. I get to live with so much resonance that parts of me sometimes resist or create problems because they are so used to living with a baseline of “something is always wrong or about to go wrong”. This was a survival instinct, actually, that I don’t need anymore. And that is still very much landing in my heart AND soul!

I’m sharing all of this because it’s a message of what’s possible for you, too. For you and those parts of you who ache and long and sometimes fight to stay afloat in the world you’re living in. For those unbelievably courageous, beautiful parts of you that sometimes feel the opposite because that’s how much they have to shrink in order to fit into a life, a job, a relationship, that doesn’t support their bigness and especially YOUR bigness.

I’m also sharing this because it helps me really land in what I’ve earned, what I’ve done all of this inner work for, and to embrace the overflow of it all that wants so much to share this inner abundance with others. I can’t hoard it away, nor am I meant to. Nor are you meant to, when you feel blessed too… 🙂 So much pain and fear and angst sometimes is the default of what you share, perhaps. And to be in a place in your life but more importantly in your very BEing where this isn’t what is overflowing from you anymore is the invitation, always. No matter how many tough choices you may have to make along the way. The support and validation are waiting in the wings for you to go there and the healing is too.

I’m available for 1:1, 90min sessions for women of all ages if you feel the need for more support for your own next choice points and to start feeling your own parts/Metasoul aspects and their hard work, their pain, their desires too: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions

Photo taken on beautiful Salt Spring Island… another geography I feel incredibly blessed to have access to! ❤

***

Kalayna Solais is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for women, energy healer, soul scribe, and poetess. Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Moving From Care-taking to Care-giving

Published on September 26, 2019October 4, 2019 by Raphael Awen2 Comments

By Raphael Awen

After raising or changing your frequency, you find and feel old energies present in your relationships that reflect the old you; the old you that doesn’t exist anymore, at least not in the same way, or to the same degree.

A natural tendency is to caretake those friends or family members rather than honestly and integrously bringing your truth, seeing them as kind of ‘grandfathered in’ into your life. Trouble is, grandpa’s dying or maybe even long gone, but you’re stuck with all of his unsorted stuff.

I don’t know of a greater or more effective cap on our growth than this deep rooted conditioning of caretaking.

Seeing to the core of this tendency, we see that the withhold of our truth is actually a withhold of our love; albeit in the name of love. A part of us is defensively caretaking the friend or family member out of fear of loss, out of personal need, rather than heart overflow.

This is why it’s called caretaking – it’s very much ‘on the take’. It’s living out of the absence and lack of love. It’s begging and fighting over scraps and crumbs.

Integrity asks us to be integrated, as in coming from one place, not two. This means purity; of one substance. Here, and only here, as well as magically here, the love that we truly give our selves (parts of us) is the same love; the same in character and kind that we have to give others. Nothing needs to be hidden. Nothing needs to be worked on to preserve the relationship. Relating is real and only real. Real has an energy of its own where the tendency to caretake naturally falls away and diminishes more and more as we integrate.

What truth of yours is wanting to come out into your relationships? What truth have you been disintegrously withholding in the name (and name only) of love? What manifestations of growth is a part of you afraid of while holding onto this shrinking pattern? What stress that is sourced in this hiding have you normalized? What would it feel like to bring your truth?

*****

Honouring And Loving Your Personal Journey

Published on September 26, 2019October 1, 2019 by Kasha Rosa2 Comments

By Kalayna Solais

Holding your own beauty

your own worth

your own sexiness

your own aliveness…

…means no one can take it away from you.

Not that they ever could without parts of you letting them, and in some cases, asking for them to.

Not that anyone ever could… unless they themselves felt less about themselves too.

To hold yourself with humility

sensing where you have left to grow

is the most beautiful thing imaginable

and the highest place you can then look inward from.

No one can take you away from you

unless you lean into their void

instead of the you that’s filling UP…

***

The Equinox New Life Phase Flow

Published on September 23, 2019 by Kasha Rosa2 Comments

By Kalayna Solais

Whether you’re experiencing Fall Equinox or Spring Equinox, depending on where you are in the world, these transitional seasons bring powerful energies of inner transitions and also shed new light on your next pieces to address inside.

It can feel like you’re tumbling down a hill as you enter your next phase… like life is moving faster than you are. Your parts can be having reactions to this, understandably, as even in this next phase you could be feeling the crazy-making journey of letting go of something that has already been SO good, in search of MORE goodness. Trying to trust that you’re headed only into more love and not less, even though the letting go can feel like you’re giving up love.

But we cannot hold onto what needs to flow and move. Though parts of us may try, they cannot grasp onto love or a source of love (e.g. a relationship, food, sex, other ‘addictions’ or dependencies), control it, and manipulate to keep it forever even when it’s time to let it go, let it move on, and be with the pain of doing that while also letting in ALL of the Divine support you ALWAYS have to be with this process and move with life, not try to fight against it.

I get the picture of all of us sitting on the banks of a steadily moving river at this time. Our Inner Protectors and other parts of us know very well the momentum of changes and so on that this river represents. It feels like this current is super-activated right now during this Equinox, asking us to take the risk to step into it, to be with the unknowns that arise, and yet find our trust that we will, always, be led to a place where more love, more abundance, more self-love and appreciation is as possible to let in as we are ready for it to be.

Much love to you as you feel for yourself what it means to be exiting one beloved (or challenging) phase and entering another. ❤

Art by Wang Fine Art

***

Becoming The Author Of Your Own Story

Published on September 11, 2019September 28, 2019 by Raphael Awen4 Comments

By Raphael Awen

When you are no longer controlled by outside forces, you are the author, possessing the author-ity for what your life is about.

Becoming the Sovereign of your own life in this way is a scary proposition as it leaves us completely responsible for own lives, leaving us the challenge of owning all of our lives – all that’s in our lives, and all of our lifetimes.

There’s no one to blame. There’s no circumstance to point the finger at; no lot in life, that doesn’t originate in you.

The idea of having whatever you want is only novel and exciting until you realize that’s what actually been going on this whole time. The challenge is coming to terms with your authorship, deciding the story that you actually want; deciding and negotiating between the parts of you that want different things.

You are not your circumstances. You are not your relationships. You are not your job. You are not your bank balance. You are not even your health. You created all of that, but you are not that.

You are the creator.

Maybe like me, you set your sights on healing your anxiety or your depression. You did that, only to realize this was much to small a goal for the Sovereign you actually are. No longer being in the depths of anxiety or depression is nice, but that alone can’t fill the expansive sails of your being.

You are called to experience yourself in continual curiosity and childlike wonder and learning. You are ever called to more.

What does your more look like? What is wanting to mature and manifest in your life, in your world, in your magical story?

What have parts of you been afraid of, in order to enact the changes that you know are ripening in your story?

How can you lovingly reconcile and negotiate these inner differences?

*****

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