Healing The ‘Black Sheep’ Archetype

by Kalayna Solais

When you’re a child, you start to learn right away what is expected of you. You’re meeting expectations of when to start talking, walking, even behaving more maturely, whatever definition of ‘mature’ you’ve been taught. You learn, then, about what makes you feel like you’re on track with this and what doesn’t and you take in the impact of that.

As you get older and start to awaken more to your soul but also what your heart really feels and wants, the pain starts to set in… the pain of feeling like you don’t belong and maybe never have. A feeling like you simply cannot ‘win’ no matter what you do or don’t do. Parts of you form to deal with this and find a way to be in the world but you still can’t reconcile your differences; those aspects of who you are that seem to set you apart from everyone else.

In some cases, you may start becoming ‘therapized’ as the only way that your 3D-conditioned parents or authority figures feel they can ‘help’ you. You may be put on medication that numbs and dulls your natural ability to FEEL. Even the anxiety and depression you’ve experienced, which is held by parts of you that are hurting and also feeling on their radar a sense that they really aren’t safe in this conditioning and aren’t being loved the way they need and deserve to be.

You now see yourself as the ‘black sheep’ of the family but also of the culture you’ve been raised in. You may even feel this with your friends or co-workers. I know I have.

In my recent process, I was working with a part of me that always felt she was the ‘black sheep’. We had to go into a scene together where she could line-up her birth family members and feel the lingering judgements and criticisms, the messages of ‘you’ll never make it on your own’ which may not have been directly said but were energized.

Together, we could start to feel their Higher Selves in the room too, and their Higher Selves offered that this wasn’t actually about what it seemed to be about… it wasn’t about me or this part of me being a ‘failure’ (though in a 3D sense it’d be pretty easy to see it that way). It was actually about a wonder they have at the conditioning I’ve been able to say ‘no’ to, the risks I’ve said ‘yes’ to and the trust I now have more and more in my life, even the challenges that sometimes feel like mountains to climb.

In this, I found compassion for them even though I still hold a boundary.

In this, I found a way to truly see and honour myself and my own journey as well as seeing the sacredness of their own.

In this, I could feel how this theme of ‘not belonging’ and being looked down on somehow has played out in all of my relationships in one way or another, even with my soul family and my recent marriage too.

And, in this, I could feel how just about every single one of us who has been on an awakening and healing journey has felt like some form of the ‘black sheep’ and played out this theme countless times, often with angst and restlessness and even suicidal feelings.

On the other side of this process, I could bring this part of me into a new form other than the ‘black sheep’. She was able to shake off the black and the sheep suit came off too. She turned into a young lioness, full of power and presence, yet with heart and vulnerability. She is finding a new home inside of me where she can truly belong and be seen and loved for who she is, even in those times where she is being shown something not-so-easy to see or feel about herself.

You’ve been taught to look outside of you for validation and even for connection to Divine love.

You’ve been conditioned to believe that you’re always supposed to ‘achieve’ and ‘succeed’ even though the goalposts keep moving. This happens in 3D and also 4D in different spiritual groups too where your ‘black sheep’ feelings can become amplified instead of felt deeply, often in the form of ‘tough love’ which is really just outright abuse.

The feelings of not-belonging can be healed as the parts of you begin to unify, one by one, with each other and with you.

Love is the glue that brings your heart and soul back together again to wholeness within that can no longer be severed. Love is the juice that catalyzes the transformation from within. Yours is the love your lost and world-weary parts most need to feel, to remove their own sheep suits… for they were never meant to be ‘sheep’.

They were meant to be ‘lions’.

Much love! ❤

***

Kalayna Solais is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for women, energy healer, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

 

 

Why We ‘Roar’: An Activation From Our Sirian Star Family

by Kalayna Solais (and “Ineerah”/Sirian aspect)

“Together we join
through ourselves
in unison of voice.
Each call moves forth
from the heart
as we link together
to feel the creation of the next magic moments.

We ‘roar’
and our ‘roars’ have great impact.

We ‘roar’ to call in the New
We ‘roar’ to clear the old…

We ‘roar’ not to frighten
but to embolden ourselves,
to call on the sacred strength
for boundaries
for growth choices
for remembering our worth.

We ‘roar’
feeling the love of the higher dimensions
and the grief of what is let go
to move ever higher.

We ‘roar’ to remember
to learn,
to teach.

In this phase,
we offer our ‘roar’ to you…

We join our sacred voices
with yours
as you declare ‘no more’
inside
and with your world
you’ve co-created.

We join
offering our peaceful hearts
that had great pain like yours…
that also learned to let go
of fear
of war
of a need to be hidden…
of a need to be arrogant
of a need to do more
than just BE
and connect…

We join
and we cry out in ‘roars’
greater
yet softer
than those you’ve known,
and this memory
of your power
as sacred humans,
is the one we hold for you
reminding you
that you will return here
and the process is Now.

You are loved…
you ARE LOVE…
and you cannot avoid
the gift of this rediscovery…”

 

***

Kalayna Solais is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for women, energy healer, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Energy UPdate: Sirian Energies Offer Hope/Possibility/Forgiveness During This Time Of Peak Fear & Violence

By Jelelle Awen

“We see you. We know you. We were once you. And we are HERE for you.” This was the message from my Sirian metasoul aspect/fragment named Sela this morning.

Sela is a glorious, blue Feline/human looking hybrid, a Queen in Sirius, who I have been connecting with for the last two years. I was feeling her in my field after watching the new Lion King movie and crying through so much of it as I took in the beauty and struggles represented in it that mirror humanity’s current cycle too. The movie provides an activation of Lion/Lioness energies during this Lion’s Gate portal too!

I first became connected to Sela two years ago shortly after the Lion’s Gateway portal opened up access to Her. This is what I wrote about that profound and beautiful opening to abundance unity codes that she offered to me at that time: https://soulfullheartblog.com/…/abundance-unity-begins-fro…/

Today when I connected with her during meditation, her tears were flowing along with my own. We were BOTH crying for humanity, for our struggles, for our triumphs, for our fears, for our desires….and for our violence. We were feeling the cries of the world, which is necessary to do as you move into your 5D ambassador of love self and a key activation that is happening during this Lion’s Gate passageway. You open up your heart space to feel the cries of the world without BECOMING the cries of the world.

I reached out to her for a sense of how to digest the 3D/Lower 4D Matrix being revealed-to-be-healed process that is pushing up MORE violence, especially in the form of terrible mass gun shootings in the last couple of days. These shootings were all by men under 30 (I believe) and you can feel the pain they were in, the disconnect they felt from 3D society, the hate that parts of them stewed in, and the shadow in their souls from other timelines/lifetimes just waiting to be triggered into action.

These shootings are happening during a high energetic influx of light codes from the recent eclipses, the Lion’s Gateway, Gaia/Schumann resonance spikes, AND very high SOULar winds (up to almost 700 km/sec today). These feel like the strongest energies this year and perhaps EVER offered to us since the fall of Atlantis/Lemuria.

What I received back from Sela today in response to my heart cry were waves and waves of love. Acceptance. Forgiveness. And deep compassionate understanding. Her message was, “We were here too. We Sirians have been through many dark nights and peak fears and end times. We almost destroyed our planet as we played out these expressions of duality and polarity against ourselves and toward other species, such as some from Orion, some from Vega, and others too. We have tried in the past to influence humanity such as in your ‘Ancient Egyptian’ timeline. We learned and we found love again. This is why we are so passionate now about providing a bridge of hope and possibility to you during this time of your Great Shifting back to the light.”

As she mentioned, ‘your great shifting back to the light’, I felt my Higher Heart chakra activate and pulsate. I could FEEL where her species had been and was NOW, firmly anchored in 5D and higher lifestyle and culture. I could feel how the radiance coming from her was a result of darkness being revealed, felt, and forgiven on both the personal and the collective levels. I could feel how her deep compassionate wisdom combined with strength had been cultivated from suffering through the aftermath of violence and the temporary power it offers through destruction…..and saying a final ‘no’ to expressing power in any way that harms others.

She offered me a feeling sense of our sacred humanity and the codes in our DNA (including Sirian frequencies in our Metasoul). She provided me a feeling sense of the potential and capacity that we have a species for love, for goodness, and for coming together as a community for the good of ALL.

It can be challenging to feel this goodness capacity of humanity during this time of matrix revelation/collapse; this time of peak fear in order to heal; this time of shadow coming up to receive the light. Feelings of rage, injustice, despair, hopelessness, and deep sadness may be coming up for you and parts of you right now, especially if you have chosen to live in the United States, where so many of these energies have been ‘pooled’ for healing.

This process of trusting goodness begins from within. It happens as you feel/heal/connect with the aspects of yourself and your soul that are living through and in violence, experiencing traumatic deaths, living in shadow, harming others in different ways, and being harmed too.

As you become a love ambassador to yourself and connect to the aspects of your Metasoul that can provide you a feeling sense of your own soul’s transformational journey from 3D into 5D (like the Sirians), you can FEEL in your heart then the goodness that lives and breathes in EVERY soul.

As you serve yourself, so you can serve others. As you end violence from within, so you can end it with others. As you forgive yourself, so you can forgive others. As you love yourself, so you can love others.

I feel so much possibility and opportunity for the opening of our higher hearts AS a collective during these intense completion times of 3D and moving into 4D. NOW is the time most challenging to continue to feel, to heal, to BE, and to love. Yet NOW is the time it is most needed and required.

MUCH love to you as we go through this journey of returning to the light together!

Jelelle Awen

Join Raphael Awen and I on Lion’s Gate at 10:00am PDT over zoom for a powerful group transmission event! We will connect to the 4D matrix to unplug from it and bridge to the higher frequency Lion’s Gate codes themselves, opening the higher heart. You can join us live or receive the recording for $15 CAD/$11 USD: more info here: https://www.facebook.com/events/2168911176740089/

Jelelle Awen is Co-Creator/Teacher/Facilitator/Ambassador of SoulFullHeart Way Of Life, a healing process and paradigm offering New Gaia Ascension frequencies to transmute trauma into love on emotional/spiritual/physical levels. For more information about 1:1 individual sessions with her and other SoulFullHeart Facilitators, virtual group transmissions, four day gatherings in Victoria, BC, writings/books, and videos, visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com.

 

Energy Update: Support To Breathe & Digest Through Lion’s Gate Momentum

By Kalayna Solais

It’s good to sleep/rest as much as you can right now to help ease the activations in… taking space for yourself feels so necessary and IS so necessary to give you space to feel and BE even if your life is typically ‘busy’. This breathing and feeling space is meant to give you the opportunity to heal AS the activations continue, because what they are activating is not meant to make you or parts of you suffer, though the ‘pressure cooker’ feeling of these activations that can spark some sense of urgency about your next steps is very real too.

This urgency though, is not about something outside of you giving you an ultimatum (though that may manifest if necessary to help you move into something new). Rather, this urgency is coming up from inside of your heart and soul. It’s showing you that what you’re living right now is not enough in many ways. Parts of you may feel guilty that their loyalty to different things, jobs, people is being challenged by new desires arising and being REALized too.

The arising of the truth of what you’ve come here to do and become is not something easily ignored, especially during such activating portal phases as Lion’s Gate. What feelings about your life have parts of you been working so hard to bury or put aside? Reactions of anxiety and depression, if they’re coming up rather strongly right now, are also pointing you in a direction of feeling the GOODNESS of feeling these emotions! They are such spectacular markers of what’s not going the way your soul needs and wants it to go in your life. These feelings are from the rumble within and the fears of parts of you that either things are always just going to be the same, or change will come too quickly. The best thing you can offer them is space to feel with you, to be loved by you, in all they’re feeling… every ounce of fear and disdain, resentment and hope.

There’s always deeper to dig and more layers to feel.

A lion’s ROAR cuts through the din and exposes the truth. And the roar of our Sirian beloveds is here to encourage us to keep going inward to find the truthiest truth within.

Your truth of heart and soul longing and needs is being brought forward, supported, amplified in ways unexpected. There’s so much support available to bridge you to your new timeline. All of the grieving and potential loss is worth the discovery of your vulnerable strength and resilience that comes from deep within… places that have often not yet been explored or felt.

MUCH love to you on your journey… my beloveds and I are here should you desire support for the continued illumination and living out of all of these pieces (and parts): soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions ❤

***

Kalayna Solais is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for women, energy healer, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

You Are Already Enlightened

By Raphael Awen

In a higher sense, you are already as enlightened as you’ll ever be.

The challenge we all face (as well as chose) is becoming aware and fluid with that enlightenment on an everyday level.

In other words, we chose the journey to enlightenment because we already had (and never lost) the destination.

If that’s true, then all the resistances that you and I face in our awakening journey are all sacred and even very necessary.

It’s quite apparent that deep in our soul source history, that as love, we became something like bored and lonely in being in a total bliss state, where there existed no duality, nothing to choose, and nothing and no other to relate with.

Love had it all and wanted more.

That may be the truest thing still true about you and I today. We had it all, we still do, and yet, we want more.

Doesn’t that start to explain our detours in our addictions, our journey in self-help, our hunger for God, our conflicting belief systems, as well as our yearnings for more healthy attachments?

In other words (again), like creative children, we made up the coolest game together. Can you imagine all the creative ideas flying around? “Let’s individuate okay? There’ll be male and female, galaxy upon galaxy, infinity (why not?!), all manner of BEings, better throw in duality and even evil, …what else, oh, we must forget the reality we came from, or the whole game falls apart, and then we can slowly awaken, feeling everything as we go, so then when we reach the destination, the one that we are now leaving, we will have changed it into something magically so much more. We won’t be bored or lonely anymore, and the rest, we’ll discover and make up as we go.”

I believe we all signed off on such a game. I believe this is what you and I are living in every day in this dimension we call life.

Everyone of us alive on Gaia at this time of population explosion wanted to be in on this moment. We thought nothing of camping overnight on a sidewalk to get first in line for this grand opening event that is culminating in this moment in this setting. A camp chair, a sleeping bag and a tent, a water bottle, and you’re good to go. The rest comes as it comes.

My wealth is not that I have it all. My wealth is in my neediness, that there are places in me that yet feel like they lost it all. I get to bridge to those aspects of my being. I get to bring every resistant, lost and traumatized part of my BEing, from this timeline and other lifetimes into this dawning love and light of day.

That’s where the magic is.

As for my need for purpose and engagement, I get to be about helping others who are seeking help make their similar journey of personal awakening, which is totally connected to the collective awakening.

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.  Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc. Visit our donations page to offer a monthly or one time money donation to support our offerings.

Lion’s Gate Portal Gathering Momentum For NEW Timeline Activations

By Kalayna Solais

Here I am, at the beginning of one of my busiest weeks in a long, long time.

Yesterday was a digestion of that and anticipation of it too… mingled with more layers of grief and letting go as Gabriel moved on to his new place yesterday after two months of processing through our separation. There is definitely a bittersweetness in the air and in my heart and soul and parts too as I continue to move on from what was to embrace what’s here and what’s emerging this week especially as it’s all NEW timeline and a lot to let in.

This busyness I’m speaking of seems to be not just a busyness on the outside but I feel it too in my soul and heart.

I feel parts of me moving and shaking, quaking a bit at all that there is to show up for in service this week while my soul is SO excited by the evidence of everything I’ve been moving through that is bringing in the opportunities to serve.

There’s a feeling too that my Metasoul Aspects who I call my “sisters” (haven’t met any “brothers” yet, but I’m open to that!) are readying themselves to help out too. Together we are working to get the inner spaces spruced up for the arrival of the new… new souls to serve and hold, new hearts to connect with, even an additional 3D job experience to dive into and see even WHY I’m drawn to it and it has drawn me.

There’s SO much to trust in this ongoing momentum. I feel that not only for me but for the collective too. I feel it for every one of you reading this as you’re likely experiencing something of this in your own way… some momentum brought in by this Lion’s Gate Portal that is shaking things up inside, which can be uncomfortable at times yet it’s all good and there are ways to be with your parts as they feel their reactions to letting in the NEW and letting go of what once was.

You are a beacon lighting UP. You will be finding it more and more difficult to ‘hide’ who you are. Parts of you that are afraid of that, especially your Inner Protector who has worked so diligently to keep your soul purpose and/or parts of you hidden, could be especially up and activated right now. The world needs you even as you continue your healing inside, for it’s your vulnerability and realness that sometimes serves more powerfully than any attainment.

Here is a guided meditation to help you connect with your Inner Protector:

https://youtu.be/cDlhg53mJIs

Much love! ❤

~

The photo is of my new altar I’ve just set up! Bringing in and honouring this new wave of service and the support I feel from the Divine as I continue to step into it.

If you’re feeling the desire for a session, my beloveds and I would love to serve you in your explorations of your own NEW timeline possibilities and the continual letting go of the old… soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions

***

Kalayna Solais is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for women, energy healer, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Your Heaven Exists In The NOW

By Raphael Awen

In my lifetime this life, I’ve gone from fearing I wouldn’t go to heaven when I die, to being assured I’d go to heaven when I die, to now coming to a place of realizing that I no longer am that interested in going to heaven when I die.

Placing our desire for heaven or golden earth in a future hope serves to veil the very real existence of our higher self’s reality in the Now.

Everything you want, you already have. The very real seeming perception of something lacking or missing is a guidepost to help you return to the realization that what you seek was actually never lost, but only veiled from your awareness for a specific purpose of growth – growth for you and growth for love itself.

Laments about the past, and desires for your future are things that occur in your present, that obscure you from the larger Now, wherein exists all you can imagine and infinitely more.

If this is all true, or real, then what’s left is to bridge to the parts of you who are understandably not so convinced of this Now of golden earth. What’s left is to bridge to the Gatekeeper aspect of us who has worked hard to maintain the needed veil between our conscious self (and selves) and our awakening self (and selves). The need for the veil is changing every day. We’re entering a new order of things, internally and externally.

You are awakening from a dream. There’s a ton to adjust and acclimate to, but this is where the fun comes in. This is where purpose and reward comes in.

This is where fulfilling your plan ‘A’ comes in. Plan ‘B’ can take its place in our keepsake box, a sacred reminder that it’s all sacred.

Your and my heaven can only and ever exist in the Now. It’s only through the Now that you can access it. Past, present and future (and time itself) are only emanations from this deeper substance of all things reality called love.

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.  Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc. Visit our donations page to offer a monthly or one time money donation to support our offerings.

Leaving The Prickly Nest For Love

By Raphael Awen

I’m learning what feels like a kindergartners lesson on one hand, and feels like the most advanced stuff I’ve ever heard on the other:

When I’m (a part of me) living in fear of someone, or something, or the government, I’ve given away my power to that someone, that something, that authority, and it feels scary because I’m seeing my own power turned on me. It’s a me to me internal war being projected out.

In these profoundly changing times, YOU are also profoundly changing. What’s worked in the past, socially, financially, what you can and can’t eat, isn’t working the same way. New workings are trying to get in the door as old ones are completing.

These upheavals to your well-being are not signs that you are lacking in any spiritual attainment, but rather an invitation into a new attainment and ground of being.

The universe knows you’re ready to fly, and so, like the mama eagle makes the nest prickly when it’s time to get her eaglets to attempt their first launch, so the universe and love itself is bringing new and surprising challenges, cause it’s getting very close to your time to fly.

You home is the skies and the nest! You are meant to be nestled in a love you haven’t known in a very long while.

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.  Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc. Visit our donations page to offer a monthly or one time money donation to support our offerings.

What You Really Want Is Love

By Raphael Awen

What you really want is love.

Things we call ‘attachments’ are only placeholders that parts of us hold onto as love until something better shows up. Who can blame parts of us for doing that. We are made for love.

A child being only willing to eat french fries and chicken nuggets is because he found love and comfort in them and they landed in a place that only feels like the absence of love.

As adults, so much of our routines in habit, diet, feeling states, relationships that we keep or don’t keep, are all so full of these ‘attachments’. Another part of us that we all have until they are felt and healed is an Inner Punisher, and this part is connected to another part of us that holds deep shame. This sets up a punishment-shame cycle dynamic that is meant to protect us and keep us safe which is hard to grasp at first begging the question of ‘why would we do such barbaric things to ourselves in the name of safety?’ The simple answer is that in our subconscious we hold deep memory of feeling love’s absence and a deep culture shock from when we first landed here in the human domain, and felt how non-heart-resonant the hearts of our caregivers were.

Now, it’s up to us to feel how so much self-improvement and problem fixing energy in our lives is actually the problem, not any kind of solution. You are not a broken person needing fixing. You are a profoundly beautiful being made of love and by love and are coming to terms with the love that you are. Part of this acclimatization to love is your willingness as a soul to come to a place that feels like ‘not-love’ in order to afford you an awakening process to the love that you are as a profound soul growth. Your existence and the essence of your being is so much more than than what you and I know and feel in the 3rd dimensional reality of time and space here on Gaia.

So, instead of running yourself through the ringer with feeling and trying to change a persistent negative and harmful pattern or behaviour, what about instead feeling the part of you who needs that pattern or behaviour and why they do? What about getting to know this magical part of you stuck in their french fry and mcnuggett world? They are your portal into the more that you are and are longing to feel and be. They are ‘attached’ to what they know and feel as love. It’s up to you and I to lead with something more, rather than substituting one attachment for another.

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.  Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc. Visit our donations page to offer a monthly or one time money donation to support our offerings.

The Flow Of Joy

By Raphael Awen

Joy isn’t a state of being as much as it is a state of flow.

Flow is about what you are letting in and what you are letting out of your life.

Increased joy will mean a sped up sense of how fast you are able to be with the hello’s and goodbye’s in your life, whether that be to people, places, things, foods, etc. – life as you know it.

Being with all this means holding space for the parts of you that have very understandable reactions to the changes. They want changes just as much as you, but they each have different valid concerns about the how and what and why, as well as the timing of those changes.

It’s up to you to show up as an ambassador to these distinct parts of yourself with an open heart ready and willing to feel through their eyes, hear with their ears, and be changed in the process.

This is the process of returning to the flow state of joy.

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.  Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc. Visit our donations page to offer a monthly or one time money donation to support our offerings.