Category: Parts / Subpersonalities

Bringing Light and Love To The Shadow Inside And In Your Soul

Published on by Jelelle Awen2 Comments

By Jelelle Awen

What is in my heart today are the lost ones, the ones called ‘dark’, the ones called ‘crazy’. The ones forgotten in the din and busyness of 3D life. The ones who don’t know how to play the ‘game’ or how to ‘get ahead’. The ones so sensitive that their hearts seem to burst and break with every injustice and abuse.

These ones live inside of you. They take the form and shape of your Inner Teenager. Your Inner Child. Your Inner Punisher. Your Inner Protector. Your Gatekeeper. Aspects from other timelines and lifetimes too.

They are beyond shape and age and time too. Their energies are so often stuck in a looping pattern of trauma, like a suffering-based Ground Hog’s Day that can never seem to end. They are beyond time in that the traumas are happening over and over…not in the ‘past’.

They become these traumas and cannot seem to escape from the aftermath of them…no matter how much conscious ‘work’ is done to heal from these situations. That is why so often you can feel a trailing edge emotional reactivity and wounding that still lingers on no matter how many spiritual awakening and bliss/Oneness/Kundalini experiences that you have.

They are sometimes soul fragments (Metasoul aspects) from other lifetimes who are in more intense circumstances than your current one. They are repeating out soul patterns of experiencing abuse, persecution, being both the victim and the perpetuator.

When you access and connect to these hidden ones directly inside yourself and in your soul with the support of the Divine, they can start to see that there IS a reality outside of the pain path they have known. As they feel YOU come into their world with compassionate curiosity, these parts of you can start to realize that they are not wrong, crazy, or dark at all. Yet, rather, they have often absorbed these energies from others in an effort to transmute them in order to get more love.

This is the way of the empath and sensitive healer soul…and it is often a painful way until the lessons are learned of boundaries that come from self love and self worth. As you feel all these sensitive and empathic parts of yourself, you also open up to the shadow ones that cause the recapitulation of abuse and judgement and even narcissistic pattern behavior too. As you love even the narcissist INSIDE, you provide relief to all parts of yourself and free up the gifts that these parts hold for you as they integrate.

These lost ones become found under the love of your beaming heart. These dark ones become light in response to your compassionate soul. These crazy ones become sane in relationship to your grounded sanity. I have witness this transformation take place over and over again in myself and many others….all made possible by love being directly offered to the parts that MOST need it.

This self love process is natural, organic, and ingrained in us as sparks of the Divine. The discovery is held with MUCH love by the Divine Mother and Father as we remember and BEcome the Divine essence of love in wholeness again!

Here is more about parts/Metasoul aspects:Β soulfullheartwayoflife.com/parts

Here are many guided meditation videos to assist you in connecting to these parts: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLNmrHdaQSAvLiLpw1qSOmQE-tsqhGSAD3

Jelelle Awen
1:1 sessions available with me over zoom for women to feel and heal these precious parts of your self and soul for $100 CAD (about $77 USD) for 90 very FULL minutes! More info here: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions

Jelelle Awen is Co-Creator/Teacher/Group Facilitator/Ambassador of SoulFullHeart Way Of Life, a healing process and paradigm offering New Gaia Ascension frequencies to transmute trauma into love on emotional/spiritual/physical levels. For more information aboutΒ  1:1 individual sessions with her for women and with other SoulFullHeart Facilitators, virtual group calls, writings/books, and videos, visitΒ soulfullheartwayoflife.com.

Awakening Of Your Gatekeeper For Quantum Healing

Published on by Jelelle Awen1 Comment
By Jelelle Awen
These are the shorter days and longer nights of this winter SOULstice passage. Even with the busyness of the holiday season, there is a deeper invitation to REST and to move into more STILLNESS in order to open up more inner grounds.
Β 
It is often in the still place that you can connect more within, into the magical lands and places of shadow. These can be difficult places to journey into with blocks and filters and veils in place to kept them hidden. As a guide to this deeper inner regions of the shadow in the heart and soul for many years (and lifetimes), I have experienced that it takes extra love and care (even gentleness) to open up access to them. It is not a matter of remembering in the mind as much as it is awakening of the soul and expansion of the heart.
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Most of what you have experienced as traumatic and painful and may still have reactions/triggers about IS connected to what your soul is experiencing on a quantum level in many lifetimes and timelines in the NOW. So much of this-life is about a recapitulation of this soul trauma, usually at a lesser level yet with the same energy tone/frequency to it. Focusing just on the local experiences of this life is a limited picture that doesn’t ultimately resolve or heal the soul wound at its source.
Β 
Now is a powerful time of increasing capacity to heal on this quantum level and complete our cycles of incarnation here into denser timelines. It feels as if many of us have chosen to complete the need to come into 3D timelines for our growth.
Β 
I have discovered through my own process and working with others that there are important inner guides and guardians within us that are key to opening up these places. Your Inner Protector stands connected to the 3D experience of this life….your ‘local’ experience of this timeline, which is a challenging one as Gaia and humanity transitions out of the Dark Night of 3D into the revelatory phase of 4D and eventually into the Heaven within the body experience of 5D. Your Inner Protector is primarily concerned with your safety and care, especially of your Inner Child.
Β 
You can connect with your Inner Protector here in this guided meditation: https://youtu.be/2FzBzK5vgck
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Your Gatekeeper (a higher dimensional soul guardian aspect) is watching the timelines of your soul play out, all the scenes of tragedy, horror, and difficulty especially…often running on a never ending loop. They feel powerless to do anything about the karmic looping, the incarnational cycle that repeats itself over and over as your soul learns what it came to learn for and with the Divine.
Β 
I have been connecting with many Gatekeepers lately in sessions who are ready to wake up, lift the veil, allow access to these timelines so that they might finally heal and complete. Your Gatekeeper becomes the bridge to these lifetimes and the channel of Divine love necessary for the transmutation of them. They are able to modulate the opening to these Metasoul aspects (as we call them) so that you are not overwhelmed by their energies (which is often the primary concern of the Gatekeeper.)Β 
Β 
Now in this completion passage of so many cycles of 2019 and moving into clearer vision 2020 is a powerful time to connect with your Gatekeeper. You will probably be amazed at what they will give you access to of your OWN soul knowledge, gifts, and experiences. It can take time and spaceholding with a SoulFullHeart Facilitator to provide a bridge to them. There is more info about 1:1 sessions with us here: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions
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Here is a guided meditation and teaching to connect with your Gatekeeper: https://youtu.be/-IZQYBoE6Cg
Β 
Love,
Jelelle Awen
Β 
Last night, the sky was on fire with a surprisingly bright sunset! Powerful codes!

Jelelle Awen is Co-Creator/Teacher/Group Facilitator/Ambassador of SoulFullHeart Way Of Life, a healing process and paradigm offering New Gaia Ascension frequencies to transmute trauma into love on emotional/spiritual/physical levels. For more information aboutΒ  1:1 individual sessions with her for women and with other SoulFullHeart Facilitators, virtual group transmissions, four day gatherings in Victoria, BC (next one is March 20-23), writings/books, and videos, visitΒ soulfullheartwayoflife.com.

The Seven Areas Of Life: Past, Present and Future

Published on by Raianna Shai3 Comments

By Raianna Shai

I decided recently to do my own version of this popular β€œDecade In Review” style post. One of the tools we use in SoulFullHeart to process where we are in our life, and where we want to be is using the β€œ7 Areas of Life”. These areas include Emotional, Spiritual, Social, Physical, Mental, Environmental and Financial. I thought it would be a really cool practice to use this to review where I was 10 years ago, where I am now, and where I’d like to be in the future. I felt into each area of life and processed my own personal past, present and future. I’ll write a little bit about what I discovered, I’ll include the article that I used as reference and I’ll attach an outline for you to fill out yourself!

First, here is the article about the 7 Areas of Life: https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/3d4d5dselvesquestions

This article is divided into the 3D/4D/5D versions of each of these areas of life. 3D being a denser frequency focused on a way of seeing the world through the 5 senses. Lower 4D has more of a rumbly feeling with the way you’ve always seen the world starting to change, often with feelings of anger, injustice and frustration. Upper 4D frequencies are when you start to heal a lot of your trauma and fear and in turn, return to love and peace inside of yourself. 5D is the higher self version of you that has little reaction and can move through life in flow, trust and love for everything and everyone while still being able to hold boundaries.

One thing I noticed about myself in this, is that 10 years ago I primarily resonated with the 3D version of these areas, currently I find myself closest to upper 4D and for my future I would love to reach a level of 5D conscious in all areas.

10 years ago: I find that I have no judgement of the 14 year old version of myself being more in 3D. She was young, kind and intelligent but had so much insecurity and fear that much of her reality was clouded over compared to its potential. She was also very shy and would rarely speak up in class, say her truth or admit any feelings that weren’t positive. Drama would happen all around her and she would do whatever she could to not be involved. She wanted to please everyone and be the perfect student/daughter/friend and later girlfriend.

She was very emotional, though not very aware of where her emotions came from or how they could actually affect others if left unhealed. Socially, she had the same friends since kindergarten but was about to move to Canada and embark on a completely new journey. This change in environment proved to massively change my self confidence and ability to take on new and scary situations. She was awakened to some spirituality a couple of years prior but wasn’t able to sustain much of this connection. At this point, she had no real desire to connect to spirituality and focused more on the mental aspect of her life. She is a vastly different person from who I am today but the essence of who I am was still there inside of her. Compassion, emotion, and joy.

Today: Feeling into who I am now helped me have so much gratitude for all of the hard emotional and spiritual work that I have done so far. So much unworthiness, insecurity and fear has been shed in the last 10 years and it’s because of every single experience that I have had. Whether they felt good or bad in the moment, I can see now the purpose for all of it.

In the last three years or so I have become SO much more in tune with parts of me and my emotions. Discovering the root causes of my fears and feeling them into healing. My connection to spirituality has substantially increased with experiences of kundalini, openings with the Divine and more relationships with my metasoul and galactic families. My social world has been a rollercoaster ride these last 10 years with much letting go of that which no longer served where I wanted to go and who I wanted to be. Now I have opened the doors for beings who inspire my spiritual journey and resonate on every level possible. I have changed environments in big ways including a move to Mexico and back to Canada which allowed me to appreciate the energy of where I live and cultivate a center inside of me that will stay with me anywhere in the world! Financially, I have an online job that allows me to spend my days working on my soul purpose, even if the job itself is not directly a part of that. I am so proud of where and who I am today. I am excited for even more growth but if I died today, I would be so happy with exactly where I’m at now, and I never thought I would be able to say that.

Future: I have such a clear and yet flexible picture for how I see my future. I imagine even less fear and reaction, more love flow in every moment, and deeper connections with resonant souls in my life. Travel is a huge desire of mine and connecting that to service is even more enticing. Having a property that is filled with our SoulFullHeart community while having phases of travel within that is probably number one on my list. I see myself serving others as a facilitator as well helping behind the scenes to organize, plan and design. My creativity has been flowing much more lately and I hope to connect these skills to my finances and service. I feel my relationship flourishing and deepening every day, helping each other grow and become loving mirrors for each other. Socially, I would love more women to connect with and have comfortable yet growthful experiences with. I would love to have less anxiety and less thoughts spinning around in my head. In this, I see more trust and flow with my mentality and existing more through emotion and intuition.

This practice was huge in helping me feel love for the 14 year old version of myself, gratitude for where I am now, and excitement for what the next 10 years hold! I highly recommend doing even a couple of these areas of life, especially the ones you are struggling with or would like to see movement in. It can be hard for parts of us to not judge where we are but it helps to see how far we’ve come! We are a beautiful and messy work in progress and we will never be the same soul that we were yesterday.

 

 

Here is an outline I created to make it easier for you to organize it all if you like!

Emotional: The Emotional area of life includes the relationship you and parts of you have to your emotions, your subconscious, your pain body, emotional healing, and emotional expression.

10 years ago:

Today:

Future:

 

Spiritual: The Spiritual area of life includes the relationship you and parts of you have to your Spirituality, soul gift expression, soul purpose, Ethereal Guides, the Divine, and your energy body/chakras.

10 years ago:

Today:

Future:

 

Mental: The Mental area of life includes the relationship you and parts of you have toward your intelligence, knowledge, non-duality, wisdom, and mental-based intuition.

10 years ago:

Today:

Future:

 

Social: The Social area of life includes the relationship you and parts of you have to birth and soul family, friendships, romantic mateships, Ethereal Guides, and Star BEings.

10 years ago:

Today:

Future:

 

Physical: The Physical area of life includes the relationship you and parts of you have to your physical body, your health, your nutrition, your sexual desirability and expression.

10 years ago:

Today:

Future:

 

Financial: The Financial area of life includes the relationship you and parts of you have to money, material wealth, abundance, livelihood, soul purpose expression and purpose.

10 years ago:

Today:

Future:

 

Environmental: The environmental area of life includes the relationship you have to your physical surroundings, geography, global and galactic environment, the natural world, and animals.

10 years ago:

Today:

Future:

 

 

Raianna Shai is a SoulFullHeart facilitant and social media maven for SoulFullHeart Healing,Β a healing process and paradigm offering New Gaia Ascension frequencies to transmute trauma into love on emotional/spiritual/physical levels. For more information about free intro calls and 1:1 individual sessions with SoulFullHeart Facilitators, virtual group transmissions, four day gatherings in Victoria, BC, writings/books, and videos, visitΒ soulfullheartwayoflife.com.

Into The Trauma, And Beyond!

Published on by Raianna Shai3 Comments

By Raianna Shai

Much of spirituality and emotional healing is based on the healing of trauma. From this life, other lifetimes, and with galactic connections. This is probably some of the most important work we do in healing our wounding and growing closer to our essence. My recent process, however, has helped me realize that there IS healing that exists beyond the trauma.

In my most recent session I connected with both my inner protector and a new gatekeeper. My inner protector is the part of me that helps get me through daily life. He is the one that can hold very 3D and physical/mental tasks. My gatekeeper, on the other hand, is the guide I can lean into when it comes to opening out my soul connections and gifts.

As I felt my protector first, he was overwhelmed and trying so hard to deepen my process and make it more meaningful. But deepening my healing isn’t his responsibility. I haven’t signed up for much trauma this life and the metasoul healing I’ve done so far has healed almost all of what I have signed up for. So this part’s job has shifted massively from protecting to resting and trusting.

This new gatekeeper, who I am calling Damien, is a much higher frequency and has the key to unlocking the rest of my soul that goes beyond the trauma. He can show me the gifts, the positive experiences, the magical and deep journeys that allow for more love and cohesion between all aspects of myself.

Going through this process has helped me realize that we don’t just have to be here for trauma healing. We can go beyond – deeper into who we want to be and what we want to build for ourselves. We can grow closer and closer to essence until maybe we are even done coming back as human.

In order to get to this place we must trudge through muddy waters, deconstruct all that we have believed to be true about ourselves, love who are parts once were and dream about who we want to be. We must find the worth, do the work and stay in the room with the darkest and most difficult parts of us. But each ounce of love we take in, each connection to the Divine and each step towards forgiveness brings us through our trauma and into the β€œbeyond”.

Beyond self consciousness, beyond fear, beyond anger, beyond anxiety and depression, even beyond much self awareness at all. The β€œbeyond” to me is pure love, essence, passion and service.

*****

Raianna Shai is a SoulFullHeart facilitant and social media maven for SoulFullHeart Healing,Β a healing process and paradigm offering New Gaia Ascension frequencies to transmute trauma into love on emotional/spiritual/physical levels. For more information about free intro calls and 1:1 individual sessions with SoulFullHeart Facilitators, virtual group transmissions, four day gatherings in Victoria, BC, writings/books, and videos, visitΒ soulfullheartwayoflife.com.

 

Shedding Layers Formed Through Shadow Mate Relationships

Published on by Jelelle Awen2 Comments

By Jelelle Awen

Shedding more layers as we move through the 11/11 to 12/12 passageway on an ongoing basis. THIS is a strong and powerful molting process, operating at the deepest levels and layers of our individuated Metasouls AND also our Soul Family Monad Groups. The shedding is of skins that are no longer needed, no longer can be ‘worn’ in a comfortable fashion, no longer fit who we are becoming.

This shedding process is painful at times. Parts of us become necessarily attached to these layers, skins, masks, and protections. We NEED them until we no longer do. As they dissolve away, this is usually in response to loss in our lives, to things that have fallen and given away, to letting go, to separations and to completions. This collapsing of timelines is happening at accelerating levels as we move into the higher frequency 2020 Clearer Living/Loving timeline.

This collapsing of previous grounds is happening in relationships especially, so that we can then see what binds and ties have been there that no longer serve us. Soul Family Monad Groups are shaking out with shadow mate bonds dissolving, along with the previous agreements that held them together. A Shadow Mate is someone who IS in your Soul Family Group, so you are deeply bonded to them on those higher levels. Yet, their purpose is usually to represent your shadow so that you can see it, experience it, and therefore heal it. This can be represented in the usual narcissist/empath experience with your shadow mate holding the narcissist polarity. It is seen in romantic relationships with quite a lot of back and forth, push and pull, and inability to settle into resonant grounds together on a consistent basis (even as there IS love and passion there.)

Outgrowing shadow mates is an important phase in ongoing awakening, as usually the transactability with them is fairly toxic, even as it brings so much growth. Making them a ‘villian’ or a ‘bad person’ in your life though is to miss the bigger picture of their purpose. They show their love for you and their dedication to the healing of the soul family group BY serving in this polarizing role. Someone has to, as it is the experience of duality that allows for the healing of it and return to more neutrality/less polarization. The shadow mates also offer a deep opportunity to move from resentful grudges to forgiveness.

A soul can be a shadow mate AND a light/love soul mate too, especially if they are consciously working on healing their OWN shadows. Letting go of a shadow mate (and this is not just romantic yet also friendship, spiritual teachers/healers, siblings, and other birth family member bonds) is a catalytic death and rebirth process with much to feel in every phase of it. Landing in a place of forgiveness and compassion toward ALL relationships in your life and how they have served you allows for the dissolving of any karmic, toxic binds in your Metasoul that would capitulate the need for Shadow mate-based relationships.

An important phase can be connecting with the parts of you that have experienced the relationship and allowing their thoughts and emotions (no matter how charged) to be FELT by your compassionate essence. There can be quite a suppression of truth telling in these kinds of relationships and a lot of it backed up in the emotional body leading to depression, anxiety, inability to set boundaries, etc. As all this is felt with the parts of you who need you, depression can move to passion, anxiety to trust with an ability to bring your truth and set boundaries.

As you hold a trust and honor for all those souls who have agreed to journey with you, no matter what the experience has been like, you are able to move into a much higher frequency of perspective around them. You are able to communicate with their Higher Self as well, to understand more about the relationship and WHY it was experienced the way it was. Whenever you connect to the higher purpose, so you BECOME it and are able to offer love where previously there was mostly fear.

By understanding, loving, and feeling your OWN shadow more (both from this life expression and especially in terms of your Metasoul’s legacy expression), you don’t need the outside experience of it in the same way. Here is a guided meditation to meet your shadow aspects: https://youtu.be/4VnfgzhzzjE

Much love to you as we continue our journey through the shedding, the sorting, and the forgiving!

Jelelle Awen

I offer 1:1 powerful healing sessions with women over Zoom or here in person in Victoria, BC. to feel into these inner and outer relationship grounds together. More information here: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions

Jelelle Awen is Co-Creator/Teacher/Group Facilitator/Ambassador of SoulFullHeart Way Of Life, a healing process and paradigm offering New Gaia Ascension frequencies to transmute trauma into love on emotional/spiritual/physical levels. For more information aboutΒ  1:1 individual sessions with her for women and with other SoulFullHeart Facilitators, virtual group transmissions, four day gatherings in Victoria, BC, writings/books, and videos, visitΒ soulfullheartwayoflife.com.

 

Anxiety: A Peek Into The SoulFullHeart Process

Published on by Raianna Shai2 Comments

By Raianna Shai

A couple of nights ago, I experienced anxiety in a way that I hadn’t in quite a long time. One thing that was very different this time was simply my awareness of it. I never totally realized that I had quite a bit of anxiety in the past. I always thought that because it wasn’t inherently debilitating that I was just an overthinker.

But I feel that this experience is quite prevalent in most of us, and is a mix of different relationships between parts of us.

For myself, it felt like my inner child feeling scared of β€œgetting in trouble”. She wants so badly to love, feel joy and play in the beauty of life. But when things happen in my life that are more β€œadult” and difficult, my Protector will put her out front so that it’s harder for others to get mad at me. Who really wants to yell at a child?

My Inner Protector also has fear, for getting in trouble means he has somehow failed me. So he tends to try and avoid these situations as much as possible in order to protect my other parts such as my inner child.

Then my Inner Punisher comes into play by judging my Inner Child for getting something wrong in the first place. For he’s constantly looking for things that she could improve. When deep down, he really just judges himself for the way he feels he has to be.

All this to say that no matter how bad my anxiety or depression gets, the biggest thing that gets me through and allows me to grow from the situation is feeling the dynamics going on inside.

It’s different for everyone but what’s the same is that all of our parts ultimately want love and to be heard. So if we take the time and space (if we can) to get to know these parts of ourselves then MAYBE we can begin to draw these feelings and situations less and less.

Here is *sort of* a poem I wrote to illustrate the process I had that night!

β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”-

Tears of hopeless frustration

Feeling lost in a sea of emotion

Stomach tense in fear and expectation

Anxiety takes hold with intense ferocity

Sleep is lost to the silence of the night

Tossing and turning with measured repetition

Then I remember the family inside of me

Waiting to be felt

Waiting to be heard and loved

β€œWhat can I do for you, my loves?”

β€œHow can I help?”

β€œI’m scared and just want to have joy”

Says the little one

β€œI fear failure, that I put you in danger”

Says the fierce protector

β€œI don’t like this, and I need to to fix it”

Says the punishing voice

β€œYou are all loved, supported and heard”

I say

β€œYou, little one, need not to worry of things in the adult world. You are the joy and love I need to tell my truth with compassion.”

β€œYou, my loving guard, need not to protect the others. I am here now, to hold the space with intention and strength.”

β€œYou, my precious critic, need not to judge yourself or others. You were needed once before, but now you may rest.”

And with that

The child tucked in

The protector at rest

The punisher soothed

I sleep in peace

*****

Raianna Shai is a SoulFullHeart facilitant and social media maven for SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit Β www.soulfullheartwayoflife.comΒ for more information about sessions, events, videos, community, etc.Β Return LOVE in money form:Β https://www.paypal.me/supportsoulfullheartΒ or visit our Patreon page to become a monthly supporter:Β https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Halloween Message: Importance Of Shadow Integration For Ascension

Published on by Jelelle AwenLeave a comment

By Jelelle Awen

β€œIt is precisely because we resist the darkness in ourselves that we miss the depths of the loveliness, beauty, brilliance, creativity, and joy that lie at our core.” ~ Thomas Moore

Resisting anything in ourselves just leads to more pain, more resistance, and more pushing out of life and not letting it in. Resisting the darkness is understandable when we have been taught in 3D culture to fear that which we don’t understand, that which isn’t socially acceptable, that which may hurt or harm others or ourselves.

We have been taught to fear our fear and the fear of others as well. This fearing of fear JUST leads to more fear being generated. This creates a fear-fuelled energy cloud that rumbles inside of us and through all the strands of the collective emotional body web for fear-based BEings to get more energy from.

On these days of celebration of Samhain’s and All Saint’s Eve, Halloween, Dia de los Muertos, Diwali…..the shadow is actually acknowledged, recognized, and even celebrated within our cultures. The shadow sides can come out in costume; they can put on masks that are actually more authentic to their frequencies. The darkness can roam a bit without fear suppressing it. Souls that have left their human bodies and passed on can be opened up too and be felt by their loved ones without the fear of ghosts or being haunted blocking the connection.

As we BEcome more of our Higher Selves in our human body, gifts of mediumship naturally arise and we become less fearful of the spiritual realm. We see, feel, and hear Ethereal BEings such as Angels, spirit guides, spirit animals, and more. We can connect with our passed BEloveds through our common Metasoul threads and heart cords, as none of us really cease from being energized in the Now in SOME form. We can connect to other Metasoul partnerings and playouts with these SAME people, yet in different dances. Maybe, someday, we’ll be able to change or alter timelines to prevent dying and live out in Infinite Awareness with no time together IN a human body that will no longer age or get diseases.

With the veils between dimensions becoming so thin already in this now of intense phototonic light activations, it feels like there IS an opportunity to connect with spirits in a much deeper way today. To lead with your heart and your intention and ask to receive communications, being open to these contacts coming in unexpected ways, and trusting that love wants to see this happen for your own healing and theirs.

There is also more support to being open as well to how your shadow aspects might be needing you and wanting you. Your shadow often contains sources of power, soul gifts, soul purpose clarities…once the fear and resistance frequencies have been felt, cleared and healed, then these powerful soul gifts can be revealed. More of your power can be revealed and, often, more of your vulnerability as well.

All of this discovery may require negotiation with the part of you that protects and guards your shadow, what we call the Inner Protector in our SoulFullHeart process. The Protector (and also theΒ 4D Gatekeeper) may not feel that you are truly ready to connect with your shadow and embody your soul power expression. They are in a stance of keeping you β€˜safe’ rather than allowing you to risk feeling something painful and difficult (even though they will often allow and even contribute to repeating suffering loops inside you).

As your Higher Self comes into your body and your higher heart opens and expands, you become able to bring love to all the fear places inside of you. You can then also bring this love to the fear-based energies in others and serve as facilitator to this clearing of fear process in them too. This bringing love to fear then reverberates and expands throughout the entire Universe and the collective emotional body too. Bringing light to the darkness is above all about offering energies of compassion, forgiveness, understanding, and willingness to feel what is real.

Becoming a β€˜warrior’ or going to battle against darkness just perpetrates the cycles of fear meeting and matching with more fear. This is often just the Protector in another form of β€˜light warrior’ that is ultimately based in non-vulnerablity and resistance.

Invite parts of you to put down the swords and share with you why they are holding them, WHY they are afraid to go into the shadows with you, and you’ll open your heart up even that much wider, able to experience the love that makes up the essence of it all, including your shadow!

Here is a guided meditation with me to meet your shadow selves with MUCH love to hold the space:

Jelelle Awen is Co-Creator/Teacher/Group Facilitator/Ambassador of SoulFullHeart Way Of Life, a healing process and paradigm offering New Gaia Ascension frequencies to transmute trauma into love on emotional/spiritual/physical levels. For more information about free intro calls and 1:1 individual sessions with SoulFullHeart Facilitators, virtual group transmissions, four day gatherings in Victoria, BC, writings/books, and videos, visitΒ soulfullheartwayoflife.com.

Letting Go Of Serving/Community, To Serve, Love, And Commune With Myself

Published on by Kasha Rosa1 Comment

by Kalayna Solais

β€œThe energy released through the act of Confrontation is the resource from which the new self is created. To be sure, it takes great courage to look within, but the universe will not present to you what you are not ready to see… we will never be given a burden greater than our ability to carry.” β€” from Avalon Within by Jhenah Telyndru

Lately, I’ve been in a process of really diving deep within to confront anything and everything that has been keeping me from leading to my fullest capacity and deeply inhabiting service…. which is also everything that’s been keeping me from ME, from loving myself in a deeper and fuller way, and also loving others in the deep way they deserve without energies of comparison and intense projections of all kinds.

I’ve been having to take space from my community and them from me during this ongoing process… and that also means not facilitating or offering intro calls to others. I’ll also not be leading the SAFE calls for women with Jelelle, like the one tomorrow.

I feel surrendered and sad. Hopeful and remorseful. I’m mourning the old timelines that are collapsing but grateful that it’s time for something new to arise from the ashes. I feel the tenderness, unknown, and even insecurity that comes up in claiming this space for myself but the alchemy and opportunities in this too, to finally uproot and HEAL what’s been allowed to live inside of me for so long, well beyond this life. This is the business of deep soul shadow work and I’m grateful for the degree of trust I have around it, even though it’s so challenging sometimes to hold it all. In moments, it feels like I’m going to implode. But even then… once the waves that feel like they’re going to drown me ebb again, a grace comes through, something bigger than the β€˜me’ I’ve been, holding me. And that I’m leaning into as a vital part of my own personal healing and Ascension journey that I can’t put off anymore and that needs my intense sobriety and focus.

I highly recommend having a free 30-45min intro call withΒ Raphael AwenΒ orΒ Gabriel Heartman… both are heart open, wonderful men that can be deeply trusted and they are so ready to show up for you and all parts/Metasoul aspects of you. ❀

Also, if you are a woman, I very much recommend checking outΒ Jelelle Awen’s SAFE call tomorrow. Even if you can’t make it live, you can purchase the recording. It’s $15 CAD to attend/receive the recording. Jelelle’s energies of Divine Feminine/Mother are gentle yet catalytic and I have benefitted greatly from everything she has ever offered me in session space and beyond. ❀ More info on the event tomorrow here:Β https://www.facebook.com/events/939184226480490/

Much love to you and with you,
Kalayna

***

Kalayna Solais is a SoulFullHeart facilitant, a healing healer, soul scribe, and poetess.Β Β VisitΒ https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.comΒ for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Experiencing Anxiety And Depression As Portals To Your Parts Of Self And Soul

Published on by Jelelle Awen2 Comments
By Jelelle Awen

The two emotional experiences that are so often brought to be β€˜fixed’ or β€˜solved’ in sessions (often by the Inner Protector) are that of anxiety and depression. The answer in 3D is to suppress them, to medicate them with β€˜anti-feeling’ drugs. The answer in 3D is to fight them, to not let them β€˜win’, to be stronger than they are. The answer in 3D is to see these emotional states as enemies that must be conquered and controlled, especially if they are interrupting or disrupting your ability to work hard and β€˜keep up appearances’ (which is the number one priority in 3D life.)

The experience of anxiety can be so difficult. The worry that practically chews at your third chakra. The β€˜panic attacks’ seeming to come from nowhere that can be embarrassing, inconvenient, and just plain scary. The inability to feel at ease, at rest, and in goodness inside of your own skin and life.

Depression can hang like a thick fog over everything. Life feels meaningless, especially 3D life routines of work, eat, sleep patterns that go on and on. The sense of flatness is punctuated by moments of wanting to die and neither feels comfortable with each other.

In 3D, the emotional states themselves are treated and fixated on….rather than the actual parts of the self (and soul) that are feeling them and WHY they are feeling them. In my over 15 years of working with parts of myself and with others in spaceholding, I have discovered that there is always VERY GOOD reason for these feeling states. Rather than suppressing them, we relate with them as a PORTAL.

Seeing them as a portal allows you to shift from fighting them and into loving curiosity about them. The experience of extreme emotional states is so often the result of backed up, undigested traumas. Anxiety is the downstream, byproduct of parts of you (usually the inner child) not experiencing that life was safe energectically/emotionally/ and very often physically. Your inner child cannot actually trust life to be loving, so they move into an anxious state of distrust near constantly. This is fuelled by the Inner Protector and Inner Punisher’s lack of trust in the world to be a safe one for your Inner Child to be in. The two anxious states fuel each other rather than either able to provide trusting and loving frequencies to the other.

Here is a meditation with me to meet your Inner Child, as a place to start:Β https://youtu.be/L_bpgyIuYds

This is just ONE possibility for the existence of anxiety, as it can also stem from the Metasoul and be a result of very traumatic soul experiences (especially those that involve killing or being killed) that haven’t been digested. The existential anxiety is very often underneath the this-life triggered anxiety. In 3D, the veil of amnesia is thick and the very influential emotional bleeding-through reality of other lifetimes (especially for those awakening) is not acknowledged.

Depression is very often the struggle of the soul to accept and integrate into 3D life. Awakening souls aren’t meant to actually assimilate into 3D life, yet they aren’t very often supported and initiated into their true soul purpose and galactic essence. If this initiation had happened during our formative teenage years instead of invalidation, we would have bloomed into passionate expression of our soul gifts and service of love. Instead, we were conditioned in 3D deadness cycles….and depression is often a result of that conditioning and programming that goes against the grain of souls and hearts.

Connecting with your Inner Teenager can help to ease the depression as their creativity is released and discovered with you as loving and supportive soul mentor that they never had. Depression is also connected to soul themes and other lifetimes, especially for those souls who are highly creative and connected to and are a channel for Divine inspiration. Here is a guided meditation to meet your Inner Teenager:Β https://youtu.be/sLDoA7UXVFk

Connecting with emotional states such as anxiety and depression AS portals of self discovery to these parts of you allows for a BIG shift in your experience of them. Instead of battling them, you come to see them as a precious gift that opens up access to these parts of yourself and soul that need you. Over time, the expression of them lessens and eventually fades away altogether (as has been my experience)….with no drugs needed.

Only love can heal the trauma and the downstream emotional expression of it. As you embrace all parts of yourself and their expressions, you are offering the medicine of love to heal whatever inside of you most needs it.

Love,

Jelelle Awen

30-45 minute free intro calls over Zoom are available now with SoulFullHeart Facilitators Gabriel Heartman and Raphael Awen for you to see if this journey into your self and soul through the SoulFullHeart process is for you. You can contact them through this blog to schedule one or go here for more information here: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions

Jelelle Awen is Co-Creator/Teacher/Group Facilitator/Ambassador of SoulFullHeart Way Of Life, a healing process and paradigm offering New Gaia Ascension frequencies to transmute trauma into love on emotional/spiritual/physical levels. For more information about free intro calls and 1:1 individual sessions with SoulFullHeart Facilitators, virtual group transmissions, four day gatherings in Victoria, BC, writings/books, and videos, visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com.

The Process Of Uncovering Gratitude

Published on by Kasha Rosa2 Comments

by Kalayna Solais

Feels strange and yet somehow ‘right’ to have ‘Canadian Thanksgiving’ tomorrow, even though in my life I feel like on a multi-dimensional level, gratitude is continuing to deepen and expand out from me and parts of me at every turn.

This year, I feel like it’s a time to really, soberly, look at, see, FEEL my life as it is and not force my parts into an ‘attitude of gratitude’ but to really feel them in where they might still be tripping over the whole concept of being grateful and why.

I know that inside of me and in my process over the years there’s been a lot of layers of entitlement to feel and heal. I’ve felt though, with each part that’s had this disposition, that underneath the entitlement is a sense of a lack of worthiness. A sense that they won’t get what they want unless they fight for it and ultimately too, a belief that they won’t actually EVER get what they want and that others will instead.

I’m still feeling into what’s truly underneath that meme that’s been ringing and pinging inside for so long and on a soul level too, yet it’s being uncovered with effort and desire to heal it. And, it feels like this ‘Thanksgiving’ celebration day tomorrow helps to bring in some sort of intention around it… around truly and viscerally healing the entitlement that still lingers and moving it into even deeper gratitude than I already feel.

Really feeling our gratitude is actually quite the process. Any bypassing that’s had to be done in order to ‘get there’ actually just buries the parts that feel like they aren’t getting what they want or even what they need, especially from you to you, you to them, parts of you to other parts of you in their relationship with each other.

There’s a lot to feel about this in the collective too of course, and it’s evidenced by our overuse of natural resources, lack of feeling and compassion towards one another and being competitive instead. Even in our domination of animals. Any sort of ‘Thanksgiving’ holiday is really just another reminder to have a look at all of this and how it’s been configured inside of each of us. What IS your personal relationship to gratitude and how does it live in you?

I feel this question as a meditation for myself… and one that I ongoingly want to feel deeply into as I DO have so much to be grateful for, always. And so much that I have earned through personal process, through ‘crawling through glass’, and also, through following with courage what my own soul and heart have wanted more than anything else. In other words… I think the deepest source of gratitude for anything in our lives HAS to be rooted in feeling grateful, ultimately, for our own journeys and where they have had to go, where they are now, and where they seem to be leading.

Much love to you… and if you’re celebrating this weekend… Happy Thanksgiving!Β 

***

Kalayna Solais is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for women, energy healer, soul scribe, and poetess.Β Β VisitΒ https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.comΒ for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.