This Extraordinary Life


I live a life that is an ever-evolving mystery that is in always in a state of ebb and flow from one heartline to the next.  It feels like an organic, breathing, and growing entity that is in a state of creative flux and expansion.  I traverse dimensions from one hour to the next, one minute teaching children in China the English language and the next I am entering deep emotional and spiritual domains to assist someone through the valley of their inner woundings to feel a sense of home inside themselves.  From there I am helping Kalayna prepare for her new job with my same company, preparing our weekly museletter which has the energy of nuclear fusion in the form of a love bomb, and then typing this reflection to share before heading out to the beach to take in sacred sun codes and merge with the vast serenity of Gaia’s healing waters.  

While at times this has felt like a series of upshifts and downshifts that have left a part of me a bit discombobulated, I am beginning to transition into this new world of flow and surrender. Of needs and authenticity. Riding the waves of intuition and creativity, sometimes getting rolled over in the surf, but always learning something and growing from the experience.  Life and me are beginning to merge more and more into the present and letting go of what may or may not happen.  What is right or wrong.  What I should or shouldn’t do.  It is taking each step with an open heart and divine trust that what comes my way is what was meant for my highest good and growth. To deny or resist them is denying the love that wants to set me into greater heights of experience and awareness.  

There are difficult moments and I am still learning to move with them with as much vulnerability and integrity as possible. Without them I am plateaued and that is not why I have drawn this way of life to inhabit with as much honor and leadership as possible.  It is a life that is lived from one moment to the next, with still having sights on a grander picture of abundance and experience.  There is no intention less than creating a community of SoulFullHearts that expand the globe and the galaxy.  This is no joke.  We left Canada and the US to let go of what was conditioned.  One day we will leave Earth too, to explore new horizons that parts of us can only let in as imagination.  

But there is work to do. Good, heartful, soul expanding work. It is is remarkable life and it is extraordinary.  It has its growth moments but they are all meant to lead us the next and the next, in Love, to Love, for Love, and with Love.  

If you are curious about what the SoulFullHeart Way of Life may offer you in your journey toward MORE, you can join us in our next group call this Saturday at 11:11 CST, hosted by Jelelle and Raphael Awen and contributed to by Kalayna Colibri and myself.

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual teacher, men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at

Feeling Your Inner Princess Or Prince To Experience Sacred Union

By Jelelle Awen


The prince and the princess….so many images and associations come up when we feel into these archetypes and energies. The princess wanting and waiting for her ‘Prince Charming’ to come and claim her, the prince going on grand adventures and ‘fighting evil’ to find her…..this frequency is so IN our collective consciousness. I feel it represents a deeper desire and longing within us for sacred union with a courageous mate who truly claims us (not binds us, yet bonds with us) on all levels of heart, soul, mind, and body despite whatever fear-based obstacles come forward to get in the way. And, our souls and heart seem to know that this is not just a fantasy, yet IS actually possible to experience and is our birthright as sacred humans to experience too.

The Inner Prince and the Inner Princess, from a SoulFullHeart perspective, represent the parts of us that we were as teenagers and our feelings about romance and sexuality. Often, this has idealized tones inside of us (the grand romance scenario) until disillusionment sets in based on what these parts of us actually experience of relationships ourselves personally and what is templated and modeled for us by our parents’ relationships. How our parents respond to our budding sexuality and our growing curiosity about sexuality (either overly energizing it or under energizing it) also impacts if it blooms and flourishes inside of us (is watered by healthy love) or if it is suppressed.

There is something preserved in the soul it seems until this phase of ‘great disillusionment’ during teenagehood for most of us, that it also feels like is a form of Dark Night of The Soul before a deeper sense of amnesia sets in. This disillusionment pushes up feelings of depression as we realize, on an existential level, that we are ‘stuck’ here in 3D life and even a grand romance (which we are beginning to feel is highly unlikely and maybe even impossible) is not going to make it bearable to be here.

Rebellion kicks in too during this phase as parts of us may try to push away from 3D conditioning that we receive in schools and in our family cultures. The push away usually just leads to more suffering, though, and acute shame and unworthiness as parts of us just feel ‘bad’ or ‘wrong’ for being so different from ‘everyone else’. At this point, a strong Inner Protector energy may come in to create a buffer between us and the world, to help us fit in and survive being here, and start creating 3D-based personas and masks to ‘get us through it.’ The rebellion, disillusionment and especially the original seeds of hope and dreams for romance get pushed far away into the emotional body and the Inner Protector stands at guard over them, over the heart, and over the soul too.

It then becomes likely that it is our unfelt Inner Teenager who is underneath the way that we engage in romantic relationships as we get ‘older.’ This leads to emotional AND sexual immaturity, regardless of how much life experience we have in relationships. This immaturity is what can manifest push-pull, abuse, toxicity, codependence, suffering patterns, being in loveless and sexless marriages, and even being a lone wolf/monklike/celibate for long periods of time. The Inner Protector goes into ‘lock down’ around sexuality and romance, not allowing for the prince and princess energies to mature into the Queen and King that they are meant to BEcome.

I have felt these energies in facilitants and in myself over the years, connecting with and working with various teenage aspects and ultimately allowing my Inner Princess to receive the water of love that she needed from me and from the Divine to bloom into my queen. Being in sacred union with Raphael Awen, who has done similar process and feeling work with his Inner Prince, allows for the FULL expression of my mature Queen and his mature King and the deeper healing of any immaturities in both of us. I feel that without this ability to connect with parts of ourselves that are usually subconscious to us, we would probably not be able to show up for this relationship and the frequencies of deep soul, heart, body, and mental resonance in a mature way as parts of us would probably block it or sabotage it.

Connecting with your Inner Prince or Princess is such a tender and wonderful ground of exploration. We have tended to look down against ‘teenagers’ and our own teenage experience especially can be suppressed and denied, put away or ‘locked away’ because it is too painful. Going into it, exploring it, remembering it, feeling it allows us to get back in touch with our hopes, dreams, riper soul frequencies. BEing the loving energy that these parts of us have been waiting for opens up the possibilities that this can then be experienced with a mate who is engaging in the same process!

Raphael Awen and I will be teaching more about the Inner Prince and Princess, our experience with these aspects of ourselves and also offering a guided meditation to connect with your Inner Prince and Princess, plus space for individual sharings during a Sacred Union Group call this Sunday at 11:11am CST if you would like to join us for a $11 min. If you can’t join us live, we’ll be sharing a recording of the teachings and meditations here on FB.


Jelelle Awen is an Emoto-Spiritual Teacher, Sacred Feminine and Sacred Union Facilitator, Soul Scribe, waySHOWer, and co-creator and teacher of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. She is author of Sacred Human, Arising Wonder: Ascension Through Integration Of Your Emotional Body With Your Spirituality and  Keep Waking Up! Awakening Journeys To Avalon And Beyond Visit for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Feeling What Is Real On Father’s Day

By Jelelle Awen


It is father’s day. I didn’t really track this as I haven’t had a father figure in my life for many years by choice. Yet, I know that many ‘celebrate’ this day and their fathers and dads. I put celebrate in quotes because perhaps, on many levels, there may not be much to celebrate about your relationship with your father. It can be a sticky thing often, as it is with mothers too, to perhaps ‘show up for mom or dad’ out of obligation rather than based on what you most authentically want and desire.

Even if you want to celebrate your birth father today, the questions you could ask are to illuminate the relationship are, “What is my emotional truth about my relationship with my father?” “What do I (and parts of me) really FEEL about being with him?” “Is it a part of me which is ‘doing’ the role of son or daughter?” “Does my spirituality and my truths about reality get put aside when I spend time with my dad and how does this make me feel?”

Even if you consciously feel that your relationship with your father is a good and healthy one, I offer that unless you BOTH have done personal healing work plus awakening soul frequencies to connect around, healing the karmic frequencies of your soul legacy together… is a bond that is probably mostly based on lower frequencies, codependence, usually buried deep in the subconscious and emotional body. To be REAL about this relationship and how it has impacted you is the start of awakening beyond it.

For women who are desiring to embody their sacred femininity, deconditioning from the templating of their birth fathers can be important to the process. Deconditioning looks like feeling inside yourself how his templating around how he responded to you AS a woman, LIVES inside of you and influences parts of you. Also, feeling the ‘ideas’ that he modeled to you about what it means to be a man responding to a woman, your sexuality (either over or under energized) and especially his relationship with your mother and how he treats her. ALL of this goes into you energetically and parts of you are impacted by it. How you feel and relate with men is impacted by this relationship with father. Distant or overly involved….push/pull or energetically ‘mating’….these frequencies create textures inside, energies inside, that play out then in relationships.

For men, the way that they currently relate to men and within relationships with women too can be connected to their relationships with their birth father and how HE relates to both. This can play out in parts that are pushing away from the disconnected father or the overly involved father or the critical father energies, which then get internalized inside, or have BEcome an internal father with similar tones. Your originally ideas and sense of ‘what it means to be a man’ come from the source of your father.

On Father’s Day, I feel appreciation for the crucible of growth and reflection of my shadow side (and some leading edge sides although not much) that my fathers offered to me. I had one birth father who left my life when I was very young and two stepfathers after that with very mixed experiences and emotional abuse frequencies with one of them. It has been my healthiest and highest choice not to be in relationship with them for many years as we went on different paths around emotional body healing and soul awakening (which I chose deeply, following my soul purpose here.) I feel love for them all on the soul level and can connect there with their higher selves in moments even as we are not in relationship here.

I feel appreciation mostly though for myself and my commitment to HEAL what was wounded and harmed (all my choice on a soul level) by the dysfunction and toxicity represented in these relationships with fathers. I became a sort of father to all parts of me (and mother too) who so needed nurturing and support and comfort and so was able to hold space for my own healing. I held my inner child especially around this, until her wounded and hurt frequencies transmuted into magical 4D and eventually 5D crystal light energies.

My gratitude and appreciation also goes toward the Divine Father (which I experience primarily through the energies of Archangel Metatron and Christiel/Yeshua too) and all the frequencies for which He offers His heart and comfort to heal these woundings within us around these relationships. It has been the loving Divine Father frequencies (not like the patriarchal punishing God of religions) that come through that has provided and templated for me what it means to be fathered as a sacred feminine woman here during this intense time of transition and invitation into our sacred humanity. And it is this energy for which my deepest sense of daughter extends….

The invitation here is to feel what is real within your relationship with your father and to lead with this realness and vulnerability to see what can unfold and arise and what cannot between you. To feel into perhaps taking space from the relationship in order to BE with the parts of you that need to receive a NEW template of fatherly energies from you and with the Divine to go deeper into your own growth, your own BEing, and your sacred humanity.

Here is an article I wrote on Mother’s Day that inspired this one:


Jelelle Awen is an Emoto-Spiritual Teacher, Sacred Feminine and Sacred Union Facilitator, Soul Scribe, waySHOWer, and co-creator and teacher of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. She is author of Sacred Human, Arising Wonder: Ascension Through Integration Of Your Emotional Body With Your Spirituality and  Keep Waking Up! Awakening Journeys To Avalon And Beyond .

Visit for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at

On ‘Father’s Day’: The Process Of Letting In Sacred Masculine Frequencies

by Kalayna Colibri

cosmic sun


I feel Him offering me His arms when my heart aches for a mate connection. I feel Him offering me His heart when parts of me need healthy ‘dad’ energy. I feel Him energizing healthy sexuality and beholding of me as woman. I feel Him in my beloved male friends and teachers in SoulFullHeart, offering me connections with men who aren’t afraid to go INward, seeking and finding parts and soul aspects of them that need healing, with an undying curiosity and love that then gets to overflow to me in connection with them. I have experienced so much healing and softening because of the love I get to share with these men who look at their shadows and bring love to me that is clean.

Yet it wasn’t always this way for me.

In 2011, my birth father passed away. His passing was a year before I started my SoulFullHeart process, and yet even then I had a sense of reality around my relationship with my father… that many tones and frequencies that I needed as a growing, budding woman were missing in my relationship with him. I experienced a lot of intense grief when he died, and over time I began to realize that some of this grief wasn’t really about losing ‘him’ but about lost opportunities in our relationship. Parts of me were actually quite angry with him for having ‘bailed’ before he ever became the father to me that he could have been. I’ve had process too around how he could never really see me, especially as a woman, and how he hadn’t been able to energize anything healthily towards me about my budding sexuality, offering me no healthy template for what I was looking for in a mate. I don’t hold my father in contempt around any of this anymore, as this was clearly a contract we both signed up for and quite frankly it feels like without these and many other voids and gaps in our relationship this life, maybe I wouldn’t have been as compelled towards the growth trajectories I’ve now been on that have made me who I am today.

Letting in the Sacred Masculine in the form of guides and as I mentioned, sacred friendship, vulnerable teacher/student, (and soon!) a sacred union relationship, has been a deep process for me of feeling through these ways in which my own father couldn’t ‘show up’, feeling how this relates for parts of me to the Divine Father and also to mates, and working with ‘inner father’ frequencies of patriarch and also masculine protectors. I’ve had blocks to truly being able to see, feel and experience the sacred masculine in its beautiful willingness to get messy and tangle with whatever it needs to in order to discover itself anew, its ability to feel and embrace the sacred feminine without wounded frequencies of control, belittling, distancing, or abuse of any kind, and its embracement of the mirror that allows it to go back into itself, finding the shadow pieces it needs and wants to work, coming out the other side with even more sense of personal power and potency. The sort of masculine frequencies that make you go ‘RAWR!’ in response to its lovingly penetrative energy and melt into its open-hearted desire for you to be the woman you are meant to be, in all of your curves and softness and self-discovery and healing of your own, in response, in an exquisite partnered dance, through leaning into the organic (and orgasmic) leadership of the authentic and vulnerable King…

It does feel as if we can miss out on letting in these incredible energies, even as they knock on our heart doors, wanting to come into us, to love up our entire being, if we aren’t willing to look at our relationship with our birth fathers. It’s a brave journey and one that can be quite hard too, yet with the right support from those who have been there, like those of us in SoulFullHeart, it is held in the sacredest of spaces and at a rate and pace that you and your parts are ready for. The yumminess of what I am able to let in more and more now, only lights me up more as I continue to feel it and feel the unfolding mystery of its unfolding in my life. There is no single definition that describes it and in its ever arising love and creativity, I feel so much warmth and comfort for my healing woman’s heart and my ever-deepening femininity. I feel how this could be true for all women who embrace the process of feeling the mark of their birth fathers and also other masculine influences in their lives, but I also feel this for men, who so feel to be aching for something missing inside of themselves that they long to experience, that is so different than how their own fathers were or are.

The sacred masculine wants to offer you space to explore yourself within it, providing a dock for your self-made container for all of the YOU-ventures that await you. And if it’s truly ‘time’ for you to do so, you won’t be able to ignore the clarion call of the fire and love it wants to gift you with to help you illuminate and be with your personal process of opening your ever-healing heart. ❤



Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, writer, and poetess. Visit for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at


Feeling the Inner Child, Healing the Inner Father



As men, our fathers represent, or have represented, so much of what we have been “taught” about what masculinity is.  They were a template for us at an early age.  Our model for what we could expect to embody as man in a masculine world.  They also influenced us in how we see and feel the feminine through their eyes and hearts.  They taught us how to fight or run away.  To speak the truth or keep it all buried.  Our worldview has been formed through their own, in response to his father and his father before him, whether in agreement or opposition.

We were meant to be shown the doorways to our own unfolding through his guided wisdom and open heart.  We were meant to be initiated into our own individuated masculinity with a healthy “F you” to him.  He would have honored that had he been taught the same.  I have a sadness in my heart actually on this day.  What is it that is being truly celebrated?  What has happened to our sense of healthy masculinity and how it lives inside of us, both as men and women?

My sadness is both personal and global.  A desire from a part of me to have had a different relationship with my father that wasn’t based in fear or unhealthy idolization. How boys everywhere are looking for an authentically loving and guiding force to shape and challenge them to thrive in an unknowable world.  But in this place there has arisen a passion for something new.  A desire to heal that inside myself for all boys and fathers.

It is about traveling inward to find our deepest truths about ourselves and feeling the inner boy, or girl, in us that was affected, not victimized, by our father’s actions and choices.  To hold space for them within us as a new model for healthy fatherly guidance and security.  To bring our truths and boundaries to our fathers that allows for an invitation for something different and more authentic, if the space for that is possible. Regardless of the relationship outcome, something has moved in the collective heart grid between father and child that allows space for others to do the same and shift a dynamic that has long been overdue.

Our relationship to our parents can by murky territory.  It is full of karmic binds and contracts that have long served there purpose.  It is time for something new and alive. This is true even with my own daughter as she comes back into my life after a few years separation.  A new ground in which we have let go of the old conditioning to build something new as two distinct individuals.  I am sure old energies will surface and that is what we are here to work together.  I look forward to how we navigate this new dynamic between us and what arises between us both.  She is a teacher to me as much as she is a student.

I invite you to feel on this day the relationship you have or had with your father and feel how it lives in you.  We can have such a healing experience within ourselves when we are able to see it and feel it that way.  Our inner father has a voice and it is meant to be a guide and a teacher when we are able to feel him in all that he needs to be felt in.

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual teacher, men’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at



Blessed And Blissed: A Poem Honoring Sacred Sexuality

By Jelelle Awen


In this post-love floating place, our bodies remembering the other lifetimes of entwining…
different bodies, same Metasouls, we were and ARE them, then and NOW.

Witnesses from the stars, our star family, coming in, moving their language from our lips and to our hips…
We dance to the melody of syllables unknown to the mind, yet familiar to the soul.

Timelines merge and blur….we see this life and that life, the different forms and faces of our soul’s projections’ pair bonding beyond time measurements of past, history, prior or previous.

There are energies here arising NEW and yet so common between us, counterparts so many times….your soul choosing male, mine as female.

Pleasure, yes, of the bodies that come together….but, MORE, too, there is the exquisiteness of union and sense of merging during these moments of connection, Metasoul sex.

The bounties of cherishment, reverence, appreciation between us….the union is not taken for granted, yet blessed and blissed by our grateful hearts.

This is the legacy of our sacred union and realization of our male to female duality dance when the polarities are resting, the edges are lessening, the frictions are easing, the tensions are softening……

And we are FREE then to fall and find, to eventually land, back in the place of soft LOVE that is US when we join together.


To read more about Counterpart Soul Mates and the Metasoul:…/bridging-to-our-metasoul-a…/

Jelelle Awen is an Emoto-Spiritual Teacher, Sacred Feminine and Sacred Union Facilitator, Soul Scribe, waySHOWer, and co-creator and teacher of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. She is author of Sacred Human, Arising Wonder: Ascension Through Integration Of Your Emotional Body With Your Spirituality and  Keep Waking Up! Awakening Journeys To Avalon And Beyond .

Visit for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at

Birthday Tribute To A King

Rs bday

Today is my best friend’s birthday. I cannot imagine what my life would be like without him, but if that came to pass I would have learned what it means to truly be a Man. A man of integrity, of curiosity, and of passion. His love of Life and Love is unlike any I have witnessed. His depth of inhabitation and reverence is unmatched. I am so blessed and honored to have drawn such a beacon of what is possible on the other side of feeling it ALL.

In the midst of great change their lies a man
A man who has weathered great storms
With the reverence and courage of a true King
One who has never been afraid to feel what lies underneath

Underneath the resistance, the doubt, and the fear
To unearth what is real and in both the light and the shadow
To see and feel what wants and needs to be felt
To bring himself to a state of greater consciousness and infinite love

There lies few men that are willing to go the full distance
Uncovering the layers to get to the greatest prize of all
The ability to create the life of joy and purpose that he has always dreamed of
Serving, teaching, feeling, loving

I have been so blessed to have been in your presence
Your guidance, reflection, and brotherhood
This day birthed the best friend a man could ever hope to have
A man of integrity, transparency, and serious f!cking velocity

It has been an honor and a gift to be able to serve with you
Learn WITH you
Love WITH you
Explore WITH you

We have many unknown places to uncover together
Some easier than others
ALL in service of what we were meant to feel and heal
And for that I am grateful

Your leadership of heart, passion, and purpose has been my greatest gift
Thank you for all that you have offered, modeled, and meant to me and my parts
From Emmerich, William, Liam, Bill, Chris, Sequoia, Nathaniel,
Christopher, Raybone, Simon, Christian, and Xavier

We love you….from one man’s heart to another

Happy Birthday Raphael Awen




Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual teacher, men’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at

For Raphael Awen: Happy Birthday! Thank You For YOUR Love…

by Kalayna Colibri

R bday collage 2017


Every young part of my heart

ached for the love of a man like you.

A man in quasi-father-figure-ness

also unafraid of his sexuality

and his shadow

who could “see” me/us

with no lecherous intent

however buried.


Your love

is like water…

for my rose garden

of young femininity

that is somehow

ancient too.


Your capacity

to hold and BE so much

PURE love

comes from so much


inner healing

courageous choices

and the deepest feeling spaces

that only a true King

can feel and inhabit

and live in…


You pick up where fathers

and mates

have left off

and help me

pick up the pieces

and parts

that have needed love like yours.


When my heart says ‘thank you’

to you today,

it knows

I couldn’t be healing all of this

without YOU,

with the YOU that you have cultivated

the YOU that loves so deep

and cares so much.


Thank you for being

the jarring voice

of deep masculine love.


Thank you for being

the father-surrogate

my youth has needed

in all loves frequencies you carry.


Thank you for showing

and demonstrating

how a healing

loving woman

should ask

and wait

and hold out for

the most exquisite overflow

of love

from a mate.


And thank you…

most of all…

for being unabashedly YOU,

whatever that means in moments

and however that changes with process

and shifting desire-choices…





When Love Comes Knocking


It is HERE.  It is NOW.  The offer and invitation to fully embody all that we chose to embody.  There is no limitation other than the one that we have decided to subscribe to.  There are no obstacles other than the ones we put in our own way.  The ones that we have INside that are reflected on the OUTside.  It is a tough pill to swallow that we have all the power in the world to create the world that mirrors us.  It is so easy to merge with the feeling of powerlessness as that has been the pervasive force in this third dimensional playground.  It is us hiding from our own true power that creates this Land of Confusion.

When you choose a path of healing in earnest, you are asking the universe on a quantum level.  Not just in some ¨give me some peace and tranquility¨ sort of way.  That is what a part of you may want.  Usually the part of you that has been working damn hard to keep you from getting into too much healing.  The kind that turns worlds upside down and inside out.  But just enough to be in a sweet spot of enjoyment and fulfillment.  And that is certainly good medicine and sacred healing……until….something comes knocking on your door that wants to challenge that comfort zone.  In almost every case it is Love that came to remind you that you signed up for something different.

¨Oh,  hello, Love.  Nice to see you again.  Did I mention that things are good now and I don’t think I will be needing your services anymore?¨

¨Hmmm….really?  Okay, well it is hard to separate yourself from your essence, which is me, but I get why you may need some time to let me in a bit more.  I’ll just be waiting in the car.  Don’t mind me if I come back.  Just sort of my job to remind you once in a while.¨

¨That feels a bit pushy.¨

¨I get that.  It is hard to let in that you were meant for love and that you are love, even if it shakes things up a bit.  I have compassion for that. That is why I love you.  But I am also persistent because you ARE me and I am YOU and we were meant to find each other.  It is all up to you on the timing.  But before I go back to the car, can I ask you one question?


¨Can you ask the heart you are protecting how THEY actually feel?¨

¨I don’t know who you are talking about.¨

¨Hmmm…okay.  I think you do but I can wait.  I’ll be back later to check in with you. I’ll just be sipping my green tea.  Good for heart you know.¨

¨Yeah…that is what I have heard.  I appreciate your visit but I am good thanks.¨

¨Sure..,see you soon.¨

Love doesn’t want us to suffer or remain in a status quo.  It want us to feel our deepest desires and respond to what arises, even if it pushes on some long standing sore spots.  The ones that rightfully created a wall to protect the wound.  They are sacred walls and served a purpose.  As Love’s frequencies are being dialed UP,  its wind starts to buffet these walls and the soldiers at the gates get at the ready.  It is a sign of the power that is HERE and NOW.  Not an enemy to be thwarted but the truest Joy and Passion that we have kept locked up in the vault of our wounded heart.

It is through feeling the part(s) of us that have felt the need to protect us from this ¨INvasion¨.  This unstoppable force of our highest expression and desire as sacred human hearts and souls.  These parts of us are dear to us and have served us well and can guide us on our further journey into the heart of Love.  The one we signed up for ¨so long ago¨ and yet have been experienced into forgetting.  If you are feeling a rumble in your life that is causing you to feel some anxiety or defense this could very well be Love coming to knock on your door.  It tends to come at the most auspicious of times and in the most unlikely of ways.  At least to the conscious self.  Your Higher Self sits back and just keeps on doing what you have asked it to do, even despite the protest and fear.

SoulFullHeart offers a way to go into this rumble and support you to feel it one negotiated step at a time.  We have been through many of these rumblings and even experience them today, and use the container of parts work and space-holding as the way to open up to our next vistas of purpose and letting in more love.  To learn more about this process you can visit here.

Answering the door is the first step.  Letting love into your house is what you came here to experience….after you have some green tea of course.


Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual teacher, men’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at

Letting Go Of The “Idea” Of Twin Flame To Focus On The Inner Mateship

By Jelelle Awen

Silhouette of young couple under stars. The concept on the theme of love. Elements of this image furnished by NASA.

I had not heard of twin flame relationships (where two people share one soul ultimately and are masculine and feminine expressions of that soul) until about a year ago, even though I have deeply been in spiritual awakening ‘circles’ for many years. It just didn’t cross my path of awareness until then. In many ways, I am glad that I didn’t know of it or what it offers before, as parts of me would have grabbed at it with previous partners before Raphael and I came together nine years ago. Part of me would have made every man I was in relationship with who shared soul frequencies with me or karmic binds or hot body talk or ALL of it into THE twin flame and I feel that much personal suffering would have resulted in believing that truth.

This can be a precious thing to parts of people, this sense of someone being their ‘twin’, so I want to say that I am offering an invitation to feel it differently and to let in a new perspective in order to bring some AIR and metaspace into it. In my feeling sense of it through what I have seen online and also in my work with people through SoulFullHeart, many parts of people use the idea of someone being their twin flame to loop in patterns of suffering, drama trauma, toxic codependence, and just overall to justify much push-pull in the relationship. By feeling that someone is your ‘twin flame’ and holding onto this very tightly, you are messaging that ONLY this person can truly see and get you. ONLY this person can truly make you happy and allow you to fulfill your soul purpose. ONLY this person can meet and match you. Yet, at the same time, when this person doesn’t show up for any of these things or maybe only some of them, they are proving that they are actually not the ONLY one and in fact NOT the one at all, yet parts of you then are in denial of this using the twin flame idea to hold on to the illusion.

The twin flame picture also focuses so exclusively on the CAPACITY of the bond and seems to ignore the ACTUAL transactability of the relationship in the very important domains of heart, body, soul and mind and also related to everyday living compatibility and just overall experience of goodness. It also focuses on needing the ‘twin’ as a mirror rather than the mirror that is offered of self BY self and through embracing your own healing and transformation ABOVE all else and ABOVE what any romantic partner can offer you, which is what feels far healthier. There is an advocacy for codependency in the twin flame idea and, also, that if it doesn’t work out immediately you are justified to wait for your twin for as long as needed until it does!

Romantic relationship, I feel, is THE most challenging ground to navigate with emotional maturity because it so triggers our deeper, unfelt subconscious wounds from childhood AND our soul karmic partners from other lifetimes. ANY mate for which there is the capacity to experience transaction in heart, soul, body, and mind domains is going to trigger and push up very strong projections from any unhealed frequencies inside of us. If parts of us are looking for the ‘ideal mate’ (usually this is connected to our heartbreaking and harmful experiences with our parents), then anything will be used to prove this point even when actual experience is not showing or offering us this.

I prefer instead to offer an invitation into sacred union grounds with a counterpart mate, which I feel is someone for which you share many other lifetime chapters and experiences as Metasoul aspects or Metasoul brother and sister expressions. I also am very open to that we have MORE than one counterpart mate and, also, to live fully into the experience as it is happening to us, as I do on a daily basis with Raphael. I write more about more experience of this with Raphael in this article:

This is how I defined counterpart mate souls and the process of connecting with different Metasoul pairings within the bond, “Counterpart souls share many timelines together with corresponding Metasoul expressions in opposite gender pairings during these lifetimes. One seems to ‘choose’ masculine expression and the other feminine. Each connection with these Metasoul pairings infuses our this life relationship with expanding frequencies of soul connection, soul purpose clarity, healing of karmic binds and patterns, and can be linked to emotional wounding expressions from this life too.”

Whether you call it Twin Flame or Counterpart Soul Mate, though, it all comes back to the relationship that you have to the relationship. How are parts of you relating to the relationship? Is there a strong projection of dad wounding and dad onto your partner? A strong projection of mom wounding and mom onto your partner? Is there a grabbing and clinging and shrinking energy from parts of you onto your partner? Is there a sense of suffering over suffering in your experience of the relationship? Are there push-pull energies between you and many phases of openings and closings?

The answers to these questions reveal where the next places are for you to go within yourself and are actually NOT about the actual transactability or even capacity of the bond at all. The focus can be SO outward, parts of you perhaps fixated and even obsessed with the partner and being on ‘their side’ so much. This happens in order for part of you to divert you from going within, to distract you from going to where the pain is ACTUALLY originating from, which is NOT from your partner but actually from INSIDE of you. ALL relationships offer a mirror in that and an invitation to go within, whatever they are labelled or felt to be. The challenge comes in actual accepting and going into the crucible INSIDE that is offered from relationship as it is much ‘easier’ to focus on the partner instead.

Our most truly nourishing sacred union partner, ultimately, is ourselves. It is the partner that will never leave us and the one for which we are most meant to BE. It can take much process to feel that way about ourselves and the aspects of us that have formed into a usually subconscious partnership inside of us. Yet, as you become conscious of the inner partnership, as it matures through differentiation and feeling of yourself, so does the richest and MOST nourishing mateship arise from INSIDE. And then can this self generated nourishment and union of self connect with OTHER in a dance of two healthy “I’s” exploring the rich ground offered to them by their USness.

We offer spaceholding sessions in SoulFullHeart to explore these inner grounds of mateship AND with couples as well, please read here about this:


Jelelle Awen is an Emoto-Spiritual Teacher, Sacred Feminine and Sacred Union Facilitator, Soul Scribe, waySHOWer, and co-creator and teacher of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. She is author of Sacred Human, Arising Wonder: Ascension Through Integration Of Your Emotional Body With Your Spirituality and  Keep Waking Up! Awakening Journeys To Avalon And Beyond .

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