When Sacred Intimacy Finds You Brother, Go In Not Away

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She comes into your life like a surging storm of passion and purpose. Or she may have been there all along waiting on the wings of your heart until you were ready to truly see her and let her in. Either way your life will not be the same because she won’t let it. She is not here to be the complacent companion or the sexy sidekick. She is here to invite you to feel your deepest fears and MANifest your greatest expression of being. You drew her because you were ready to move beyond the confines of casual comfort. Ready to inhabit your inner King and challenge the places that you have been stuck in growth.

She is the sacred feminine seeking her sacred masculine counterpart. She lights up your divine inspiration, opens and deepens your wounded and healing heart, she sparks your passion and creativity. She also brings in a mirror. A reflection of your largess that is hard to let in because you have parts that have yet to see it in themselves. Her fire highlights the places within you that are dampened and protected. You feel the places where she is dangerous to the parts of you you didn’t know you had until you went deeper into your truth.

Yeah. Your truth. What is real inside of that masculine heart of yours? Do you feel where parts of you have cordoned off the rage, the hurt, the fear of being seen in totality? There is much in the wounded male heart that has been buried in reaction to what lies in the recesses of our shadow. A collective and personal feeling of unworthiness with rumblings of other lives of suppression and dominance. Of being repressed and dominated. What would come out of your mouth if the gates were left open? This is the unknown world that sacred intimacy is guiding you into and it is a scary yet luminous journey.

She is the one I never knew I was looking for. She brings edges and mountains to a flatter world a part of me had created to keep thing the same. It is holding space for the deeper feelings of the parts of me that may not be all on board to this type of intimacy as they have been safely enjoying anonymity. She engages my leading edge while advocating to feel my trailing edge of truth in its realness. She calls for me to challenge her in her bigness as a challenge to my past care-taking. It is getting dirty and muddy when we have found ourselves at a dissonance to feel where we are truly in resonance. The end is always possible while the infinite is right at hand. This is a brave new world for me and for her.

I know my beloved Kalayna and I are just in our sacred infancy in some ways but we have been through much together. We have the blessed modeling of Raphael and Jelelle and yet we have our own challenges and uniqueness. I have much to feel and show up for in this continued deepening. As a man, there is a lot to trust and a lot to stand up for within myself. This can only be done by truly feeling the parts of us that hold resistance and passion both. This is the true passion ground of our sacred masculinity and heart-open sexuality. With Her, you and I will never be the same.

 

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

 

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Inviting Others To Come Along With You: Navigating Relationships During Awakening

By Jelelle Awen

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I cannot make you grow with me, only invite you to come along. ~ I have experienced personally and have felt with so many others too over the years that one of the MOST difficult and painful grounds of growth during awakening and ascension is navigating through relationships….romantic, friends, family. As you shift and change as your heart opens, as your soul awakens, as your body enlightens…what you desire to see and feel with others shifts too. One of the main shiftings that happens is waking up out of the 3D sense that others are outside of you or just ‘there as a given’.

As you wake up to YOUR own magic and more of your bigness, so you start to really see and feel if others are a reflection of this or not….based on how much they are embracing, discovering, and exploring their soul as well. You start to want relationships to arise anew rather than remain stuck in comfort and safety. You realize more and more that your relationships with others IS a reflection of you. You start wondering, “What are these relationships reflecting about me?” You start pondering if those in your life (even the most BEloved ones such as your children and mate) really GET you and see you anew. Are they experiencing you through previous lens, experiences, and filters? Are they seeing and feeling how you are changing and becoming inspired by it or are they reacting in fear, doubt, and resistance? Are they saying that they are being ‘supportive’ yet are actually remaining in stubborn energies/parts that aren’t letting you in?

For awhile, these relationships can remain in neat and tidy compartments, with parts of you sometimes working quite hard, efforting and trying to keep the relationships going using the same, previous fuels of duty and obligation; familiarity; even ‘unconditional love’ (fueled by spirituality) can be used to stay in relationships. Maybe part of you tries to convince and teach others what you are learning and discovering during your awakening so that they can ‘get it’ too. There can be a forcing energy in this because it is actually run by unfelt fears in parts of you around what it would actually be like to lose, to mourn, to move on.

This comes from your SOUL waking up, after all, so there can be so much NEW energy then that is coming up and OUT. Not just love and light either. Yet, often 3D anchored (and lower 4D soul) frequencies of fierce self protection, need to control, distrust, doubt, confusion, depression/despair. These may have been numbed by the relationships, yet, they start surging up when your soul starts getting real about what is in your REALity. These are intense energies often too with darker tones, shadow sometimes, all the hidden things that the Inner Protector part of you has kept ‘safe’ behind the veil of your previously not remembering and the relationships that supported this.

On a higher soul level, all souls in your life agreed to be there and to be on this exploration with you. I don’t feel these as ‘contracts’ as others do, yet, rather, they are good will-based, love-based agreements with the ultimate purpose to bring growth and learning. Both souls/higher selves can feel that they are fluid, that the situations and circumstances may change; and that the relationships may run out of ground and complete on the transactional level. The higher selves remain IN and with love as they cannot be OUT of love, even if the lower dimensional selves cannot be in relationship any longer.

Inviting the souls in your life to ‘come along with you’ as your soul awakens comes from an energy of SELF love and trust. You are trusting that whatever happens will be held by love for BOTH of you. You are leading with what your soul desires for yourself while letting go of that you know what that choice should be for another person. THIS can be very challenging to inhabit until you have negotiated with the parts of you inside that struggle to let go of control and fear.

You can only invite others into and with a loving, clean, and pure energy IF you are inviting yourself and ALL your aspects into this ground of exploration. So as you experience it inside, so then can you naturally then invite others into it as well….

~
You can experience our process for connecting with, integrating your 3D self and 4D self aspects to allow for navigation of relationships through a free intro session with one of us (Raphael, Gabriel, Kalayna)

Jelelle Awen is an Emoto-Spiritual Teacher, Sacred Feminine and Sacred Union Facilitator, Soul Scribe, waySHOWer, and co-creator and teacher of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. She is author of  Sacred Human, Arising Wonder: Ascension Through Integration Of Your Emotional Body With Your Spirituality and  Keep Waking Up! Awakening Journeys To Avalon And Beyond.

Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, videos, etc. Visit our patreon page to offer a monthly or one time money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

My Magical Experience Of Sacred Union Through The SoulFullHeart Process

By Jelelle Awen

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This man….this soul choosing to BE in life with me. As partners in this dance of feeling and healing. As co-creators of a vocation that offers a service of love with others that arises as a genuine passion. As journeyers into the depths of ourselves and all the aspects that live inside of us. As co-integrators of shadows that live in our Metasouls and our counterpart pairings in different timelines: Lemuria, Atlantis, ‘ancient Greece’, Arcturian, and more.

This kind of partnership is not what we have been conditioned to believe about relationships in 3D life. 3D offers us not templates of two souls moving into health in ALL areas of their lives individually AND together…yet rather examples of unhealed and congested wounded places inside of each of them that often clash and burn or cling and bind….. until whatever love they had between them runs out of ground.

More scared unions than sacred unions are these, formed from undifferentiated parts of the 3D self ‘hooking up’ with each other. These hookups can look like two Inner Protectors guarding and ‘fighting’ each other; an Inner Matriarch (wounded masculine in the woman) with the Inner Patriarch (wounded masculine in the man); and many others. We need these reflections in others (that includes all relationships actually, with birth family esp.) until we no longer do in the same way.

The TRUE authentic selves, the higher selves coming into body of each partner may not claim much space on the dance floor of the relationship as it is so rarely safe enough INSIDE to allow for this overflow of genuine expression to come out. Lust then supplements for awhile and karma drama from other lifetimes and timelines, all without much consciousness around it. Duty and obligation can come in there too, along with needs to feel safe and secure.

This can be the experience of polarity and push-pull in 4D relationships. There is this sense of soul mating, of soul resonance, of belonging together in 4D consciousness around relationships. There are moments of genuine connection and even grounded bliss. Moments where two hearts can feel each other. Two bodies can connect with each other. And, yet, there is still the unfelt 3D stuff/wounding that anchors each partner into suffering loops and patterns. It anchors them into moments of fusion with 3D parts of themselves again. They go up and down in this unconscious cycle of push-pull together and the ceiling of good will, respect, and mutuality often crashes down around them eventually.

With Raphael, over our nine years together, I experience that we can navigate the murkier grounds of reactions and triggers together WHILE maintaining a larger container of love and goodness in the process. We don’t avoid what is in shadow or what is difficult. We don’t float in bliss together at all times (although many times we do, especially when we experience deep heart openings that come from moving through something difficult and come out the other side of it with MORE love.) We have been able to show up in relationship with each other this way because we have shown up for ourselves and parts of us in this way. With curiosity, we hold space for the energies that move through us. We feel them as very distinct and even commonly definable parts of ourselves that we have felt in so many others too.

Raphael and I can sit in conflict and tension together, as we did the other day for almost eight hours. Not to suffer in this space or to ‘beat each other up’ emotionally. Yet, rather, because we honor the energies inside and in our Metasouls that NEED this space to express and be relationally with an intimate other person and soul. The trust and love ground that we have between us and inside of us and in the Divine holds the space. We stay in the room together through it, allowing, and BEing with the fears that can live inside about the relationship completing, running out of ground, etc. Yet, we find the next going on place together and the next….AS we are willing and open to let go EVEN AS we are deeply committed to the union.

This IS possible through the parts work process, through the SoulFullHeart way of life and process that we offer and have been very deeply, personally engaged with for ten years. This understanding and feeling space that we create inside with parts of ourselves allows for the transaction together in an increasingly high frequencies of soul, body, heart, and mind AND integration of shadow too.

Someone commented the other day when I shared a joy moment that came after more Metasoul pairing integration with Raphael, ” I love how you’re really doing this – for real!” Yes, we really are and so can you….starting from inside of you, creating an inner sacred union with ALL aspects of yourself…..and this eventually drawing the your mate of soul, body, heart, and mind to be in it WITH you too!

~

Raphael’s comment on this post: “The challenge that arose between us a few days ago that Jelelle refers to was for me the most challenging yet, encountering a part of myself that has lived in my shadow…, something I don’t think would arise were it not for an intimacy as deep and ‘strange’ as ours. I say strange because the intimacy and magic I have and do experience with Jelelle still feels incomparable to a part of me, incomparable to anything I’ve seen or known or saw portrayed. I’ve tended to feel that strange magic in very private places, feeling also the vulnerability of it ending.
Now the universe is inviting us to self permit ourselves to offer to serve others in leading with what we have in deep transparency, feeling how opaque leaders and murky spiritual offerings are a thing of the past for so many souls now.
And….I’m feeling a ton of relief to be coming out the other side of an intense integration, or to the beginning of an integration in another way…
We are all being invited to a place where our life’s message is ‘I am the real thing, and if I ever feel less than that, I’ll be the first to admit that’.”

 

~

We offer a FREE 30 minute introductory session with us to get a sense for how the SoulFullHeart process could apply to you, your life, your desires, your frustrations, the parts inside that want and need you:soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions

This photo was taken during an energy session with Raphael where I acted as midwife in moments, teacher in moments, student in moments, lover in moments, friend in moments….such is the multidimensional way we are with each other..

~

Jelelle Awen is an Emoto-Spiritual Teacher, Sacred Feminine and Sacred Union Facilitator, Soul Scribe, waySHOWer, and co-creator and teacher of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. She is author of  Sacred Human, Arising Wonder: Ascension Through Integration Of Your Emotional Body With Your Spirituality and  Keep Waking Up! Awakening Journeys To Avalon And Beyond.

Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, videos, etc. Visit our patreon page to offer a monthly or one time money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Loving And Healing Your Invulnerability: The Gateway To Your Sacred Humanity

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To a part of us, Love is scary as Hell. Our invulnerability, our protection from totally feeling what is churning inside of us, is the expression of that part. Or in-expression as the case may be. This feels especially true for men, yet women have their own version of it too. It can also come out in expressed rage, as there is something so very vulnerable underneath it…a deep feeling of hurt and rejection. Our outer defenses are both guarding something precious as well as preventing something precious at the very same time. It is Love seeking Itself inside of you.

What is scary is letting the guard down and exposing what has been hidden. It is the exposure of the hurt, the fear, the guilt, and the truth in all its edges and judgment. It is the fear of seeing something that feels “ugly”, which is only a judgement we carry in ourselves. It is the very real possibility that life will forever be changed and made unknown. The guard keeps the safe intact, while Hell itself reigns supreme inside the fortress walls.

There are aspects of us that have not seen the light of our own consciousness until we begin the deep work of inner healing. It is a journey into lands that are filled with creatures both of light and of dark. The shadow is a storage warehouse of sorts. An invisible doorway until we trip on the wire that is hooked up to it by our own experience. It holds all things unsightly and extremely sacred to us. All of our greatest power and potential resides in these lands for us to reclaim when we have decided the time is Now. Until then, the universe, in concert with our Higher Self, continues to send us what we need to continue this dance with Love, whether in resistance or unison.

As Gaia edges her way “forward” in her ascension and union with Love, we too experience the Light knocking at the door of our most guarded self. The guardian at the gates may feel an attack is brewing and will double down on protection by any means. Or it may just decide that it is done with the gig and look for help in the solace of your sacred human heart. We are key-holders, yet we must negotiate with our protector as we need their help in the reintegration of all that has been locked away.

Going IN, is ultimately the only way to go UP. Without fully seeing and feeling what is hidden will we ever truly feel what it means to be seen. To be altered and transmuted by Love. This is the ultimate invitation of sacred romance and intimacy. You can only go so far on your own as you need an other, in the deepest and scariest waters, to see what you couldn’t or weren’t willing to see or feel. Ascension is stillborn outside the gates of our shadow. Being vulnerable with your invulnerability is what takes you to the burning grounds of all that is not in your highest being.

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Mediocre Manhood

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By Raphael Awen

Escaping mediocre manhood will require awareness of how you are showing up as man, what isn’t working for you, the humility to admit it and the choice to seek something more.

How each of us as men have become the man we are has so much to do with the patterns of manhood that we were shown. These patterns were ingrained into us going to the heart of our being.

The word ‘pattern’ is from the same original word for the words; father; papa and patriarch. Our father is literally our pattern, our ‘patron’ Saint, our admission into the ‘patriarchy’. Each of us as men is running a kind of emotional operating system that came to us via our fathers. Our father got it from his father, and so on and on.

These patterns also exist in us also through meta-soul aspects that we are connected to, from other lifetimes. These archetypal records are like music record albums that are then played on us as the record players, or to be more up to date, like mp3 files that we download and play, but are not actually expressions of our higher self, but rather energies that our higher self is drawing to our attention for resolve.

It is only as the contents of all this,…let’s call it our EOS (Emotional Operating System) become conscious and brought up into our awareness, that we can even begin to move out of mediocrity in our manhood.

This alone is a big step.

Many men have a weird codependent relationship between them as men whereby they agree not to speak any ‘negativity’ towards their fathers. What this really is, is an agreement to keep the patriarchy intact from generation to generation. Only as you refuse to participate in the insanity will you find a beginning ground to leave the insanity. This means you’re going to have get critical about dad and his pattern as it lives in you. You don’t need to be nasty about it. You don’t need to dwell here any longer than you do, but you can’t escape owning this arising awareness. Your critique will need to be honest enough and vocal enough to exit the insanity.

You don’t owe your dad a thing, and an emotionally healthy dad doesn’t expect a thing in return for his role and years as a father. Now, after this healthy completion of the childhood phase, dad and son can go on to forge a new relationship with the old one completing.

Only now, after this death and rebirth, can new patterns be explored and come to be a part of a new EOS.

Men want more. It’s in them at their very core. Exploring this more will be finding, feeling and healing the aspects of your EOS that no longer serve your most authentic version of yourself arising.

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about Weekly Sessions, Live Streams, Videos, and Community.

Return LOVE in money form: https://www.paypal.me/supportsoulfullheart or visit our Patreon page to become a monthly supporter: https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Conversation With My Spine: Day Two- The Turbulence Of Calibrating To Love

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In this exchange with my spine, I refer to my daemon, or soul protector/guardian. It is the 4D aspect of us that is connected to our other metasoul lives. They are a big part of the healing process in SoulFullheart that can also be linked to the bleed through many feel as the veil has been thinning and lifted. A connection with this aspect can assist in huge movements and clearings of the energies that are still stuck in other time dimensions. You can read more about them here.

M: Good morning, Spine. How are you feeling for talking some more? I had a great feeling about where this could all go for both of us.

S: Yes, I am. I felt some great place and energies we could ‘tap’ into together.

M: You just started where you left off.

S: Yeah. It is good to keep this thing a little loose around the edges, man. When a spine gets too stiff and rigid…well, look what happens.

M: Point taken. I can feel where a part of me has been a bit tense with all the changes going on for me personally and then you add in the cosmic theater and it gets to be one big alchemy party.

S: There is a lot going on for sure. There is a lot of rebalancing happening. The prior grid structure that you were linked up to via the spine is in major dissolution. It is dissolving. No longer able to maintain its former control hold. You have many metasoul lives that had been connected to the Paintrix and they are looking to you to lead them into a new world without it. It is a turbulent time for this awakening and that can show up in all kinds of physical (i.e. emotional) manifestations.

M: I feel the largess of that picture and can see why my soul protector got a bit overwhelmed. I see a dam that has held back all the realities of my soul and the cracks are opening up to holes in my felt consciousness. My daemon (soul protector) has been acting as the foreman on this operation and is sounding the alarm bells.  

S: Lol! That is a perfect analogy. I don’t mean to laugh in judgment. It just clearly demonstrates what it can be like for some. He needs to be relieved of the duty and the feeling of responsibility. Lots to navigate and the picture is not as severe as he may make it out to be. There is a lot of self-love around letting in these lives and how to be with them.  

M: I feel your compassion for him and what he has held. That is a whole new avenue to walk down with him day to day. Feeling it all in the moment as these lives begin to bleed into waking consciousness. This whole experience has really helped me to feel the wounded masculine energies that are held in the spine. The restructuring of the spinal code if you will.

S: Yes, most definitely. There is a whole lot happening at the quantum/galactic level that is beyond the consciousness of your knowing mind. What is important here is to feel what is happening with your heart and intuition. This moves WITH the current of Love and the old system was trying to work against it, but was really an actor FOR it all along. I think you can sense what I mean. There are actually no bad guys here. A grand story that is experiencing itself. The spinal restructuring is akin to seeing that there was another story undergirding this one all along and that creates a bit of a shock to the system.

M: This is getting out there, man. Whew! I want to see about bringing this closer to home….to the heart.

S: Yeah, totally. I can get locked into the mental picture sometimes as I too am in recalibration mode. You have much to feel with the part(s) of you that have been invested in the old way of being in the world. It is another personal awakening phase, but this is an awakening into something less tangible and more fluid. It is not getting to locked into “this or that”, but following the intuitive sacred heartmind and getting lost in the flow so that you can’t even begin to track mentally. This is presses against a control mechanism that is built-in for safety and protection. Keeping the gig going. You are being asked to realign the spine to the heart instead of the brain. 

M: That is a weird picture, but I get what you mean.  

S: I can sense that. The literal interpretation makes no biological sense. This is the new wild frontier partner and there is a new sheriff in town and his name is Lovie McLovin.

M: Seriously….I think it is time for you to get some rest. That was just awful, yet somehow funny.

S: You giggled. You can’t hide that. I am feeling a bit better apparently. Getting my goof on. That is a sign of realignment to the flow of being. Okay, let’s call it for today. I have enjoyed this. Not sure what we said but it felt good.

M: Yeah me too. Time to let this all integrate with a sandwich and a massage.

S: Now that just sound weird.

M: Oh, geez. Here we go….

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Wounded Masculine And Arising Feminine Energies Coming UP For Healing And Revealing

By Jelelle Awen

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There seem to be many themes running in the moment for us to see and BE with as we continue our ascension journey into embodiment of our sacred humanity…not NEW themes, yet more like another cycle around the bend into a deeper level and strata of healing and feeling. One theme is that the wounded masculine frequencies that have formed the foundational energy to fuel our 3D culture are being exposed and disclosed…to be seen, felt, come into the light. They have seemed so powerful, yet, are now running on fumes as the old paradigm structures start to collapse to begin transition into the new. The wounded masculine runs on compensational behaviors to cover over core feelings of unworthiness and core disconnect/separation. It operates on lack of vulnerability and lack of transparency using diversion and distraction strategies. You can feel and see this in the exposure happening now of false kings in the entertainment industry, government, banking, etc. how they are now being dethroned as their wound-based actions toward the feminine are revealed.

It can be tempting to lash out at this wounded masculine as it is exposed….to feel bitter and resentful, to turn on it. Yet, this outward outrage actually stems from inside and only feeds the fires that can hurt and burn. Going within to feel deep compassion for the wounded masculine WITHIN us is a key aspect to moving through this disclosure process with love. To feel how parts of us have felt like both perpetuator AND victim this life and in other lifetimes too. Not going to battle AGAINST these energies, yet seeing and feeling how, underneath it all, they are just seeking and want love. Being open to the recognition that these energies live inside of us and seem to express as our Inner Protector aspects, plus Inner Punisher and Inner Mother/Matriarch or Inner Father/Patriarch can help huge with this holding and response.

After many years of working with different parts of myself and with others, these are the energy tones that I feel most represent the wounded masculine as conditioned and formed into our 3D self. Working with these masculine energies is what allows the feminine to arise in an authentic way, freed finally from the warrior and overly masculine tones that are NOT hers to hold and energize. As the Inner Protector lets go of its stance of protection through inner negotiation, the feminine (in both men and women) can come into BEing as the seed of her expression receives the water of self love and love with Divine Feminine guides/aspects such as Magdalena, Mother Mary, Kuan Yin. Directly connecting with these aspects through journaling, guided meditation, and ‘dropping into ‘their energy during sessions is what we offer through our SoulFullHeart process. And, then we feel and explore this on the 4D level as the wounded masculine expresses in our Metasoul line/other lifetimes and archetypal frequencies too. More information here about our process for navigating this: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sfhprocess

There is a deep connection in this collective wounded masculine disclosure process with the dissolving of the 3D matrix created out a fear-based (yet previously necessary for growth) collaboration between us on the soul level and some Reptilians/Archons/Anunnaki. Their wounded masculine-based timeline of dominance and suppression ‘over’ us is collapsing as more of them choose love over fear. The implants and hookups that we previously needed in our soul fields/chakras are loosening or dissolving as this choice point happens. I have written many times about the choice points they are being offered as a species on soulfullheartblog.com….relocation to a beautiful, tropical environment planet as they choose redemption and rehabilitation. It seems to be important to support this process by letting go of fear-based and polarized energies against them…this becomes yet another battle ground otherwise (that actually, again, stems from within). Connecting with your inner Reptilian aspect (which can form another layer of Inner Protector) allows for the flow of compassion and to act as ambassador to their choice points toward love with your support.

If you are in a relationship, you may be feeling the stirrings and churnings of this wounded masculine/arising feminine within your relationship. This can lead to more conflicts, disillusionment, and even desires for completion of even long-term relationships. The gaps in your transactability are revealed as what has been able to be covered over can not be anymore. If you have been awakening and your partner has not, resentment from parts of you may be growing around this and, also, authentic desire for more soul resonance, vulnerability, and to service love together (which is ultimately the reason for being in relationship at the higher soul level.) These frequencies of wounded masculine as they live inside of us and are being moved in the collective also play out in our relationships, impacting how we experience our partners, what parts of us are related with each other, and what we project onto them.  Becoming conscious of your own parts allows you to navigate the relationship in a very different way with a new level of consciousness and emotional maturity in responding to your partner.

As the wounded masculine continues to transmute and transform into a higher vibrational frequency of sacred masculinity, the possibilities for balance and union between the masculine and feminine become revealed to us. We discover and BEcome this from within and we can then offer this to a world that desperately needs it as it transitions from polarized and fear-based expressions of gender into NEW expressions of a conscious duality dance based in LOVE.

~

Jelelle Awen is an Emoto-Spiritual Teacher, Sacred Feminine and Sacred Union Facilitator, Soul Scribe, waySHOWer, and co-creator and teacher of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. She is author of  Sacred Human, Arising Wonder: Ascension Through Integration Of Your Emotional Body With Your Spirituality and  Keep Waking Up! Awakening Journeys To Avalon And Beyond.

Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, videos, etc. Visit our patreon page to offer a monthly or one time money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

 

 

 

 

Conversation With My Spine: Day One- Creating A Relationship To Pain

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Flowing out of my last blog about my recent spinal pain issue, I have decided to share my journaling that I began with my spine. It is a tool we use in SoulFullHeart to create an energetic space between our authentic self and a part of us that holds different sources of energy that block our letting in of higher frequencies of Self and Love. In this case, my spine is acting as a conduit of my Higher Self to help me gain a greater perspective to the pain that has been with me for several weeks.  This in turn helps me to hold the different lower frequencies that are accessed in both this and other life wounding. It will be an ongoing conversation for as long as it is meant to last. *NOTE: (M) is for me, and (S) is for spine. 


M: Hello, spine. I wanted to start a dialogue with you and connect with you more intimately. Feel you as a part of me as well as a guide and teacher. Are you open to that?

S: Yes, of course. There is much dis-ease going on and I would love to help shed some light to help both of us feel some deeper meaning, not just solely relief. But in the moment that would be certainly welcome. Where shall we start?

M: Hmmm….great question. I thought maybe you could shed some light on what you feel is the cause of all this pain that feels unending to another part of me.

S: Well, that is one place to start. The feeling that this is going to last ad infinitum. It is understandable to feel that when it does appear that it just goes on and on without some measurable indication of relief. You and I have been around long enough to know that that isn’t true. It is a signal of a deeper wound that doesn’t trust in the process that is being offered to you. This comes from many lifetimes of not trusting the Divine and the journey you chose before time immemorial. Trusting to let go of what you learned in order to remember.

M: That last sentence had a reverberation in me. Thank you. The tension that exists in you feels related to that fear of letting go.

S: Yes. Indeed. So much love and goodness has entered your kingdom and a part of you has a hard time truly believing it is all real. It rubs against unworthiness and it can sabotage the inflow. Nothing like a shot of pain to keep you from fully feeling the Joy that is showering upon you.

M: That is especially true. Geez. I can feel how I have been what we call ‘fusing’ to the pain, where I just become it, not separate from it. It filters so much about what I, Gabriel, feel about what is happening. Talking about this with you helps to feel the distinction. A very powerful discernment.

S: That is exactly it! It is about YOUR power. To not let the power be in the hands of the pain. You can be WITH the pain and not OF the pain. Empowerment is the leading edge of the spine. Choosing to subvert the power to the pain itself makes you a victim to it and thus yourself for you created the pain in the first place! 

M: This is where it gets hard for a part of me to swallow, but I can feel how that is easier than accepting response-ability. Responding to the situation from a place that has a higher frequency of energy even in the throws of the pain. A process for sure. It takes the time it takes to get to a place of No More.

S: That is the activation of your Higher Self. Not in a way that looks to solve the problem but to respond to it in way that brings a larger picture of the emotional and spiritual landscape. You said “enough was enough” and you chose to journal. I am acting as a conduit of your Higher Self. What better way that through the spine!

M: Agreed! I didn’t feel much angst in you that I thought I would, but a lot of reverence and compassion for the situation.

S: A part of you may certainly hold that energy but if I am truly your spine I would want you to be in your most empowered state. So much has been assumed that reacting to a situation with an energy of dominating or fixing is what Spine is all about. It is not. It is about fully feeling what the most vulnerable place is within you to respond to. What is the fear that a part of you has around love and leadership? For this is also about leadership and stewardship. It is arising in you as the frequency of Gaia and SoulFullHeart continue to rise.

M: This is the part that also feels so true about this pain. An intuitive knowing that I am a part of this shift in a way that is yet totally unknown and unknowable to a part of me and causes a tension of doubt and uncertainty. I feel like there is a whole lot to discuss with you and that this could go in so many ways. Maybe best to call it a day for now and get back at it tomorrow.

S: Clever. ‘Back’ at it tomorrow. Very nice.

M: Not intended, but I will take credit. 🙂  Thank you for the illuminating conversation. I feel a lot of movement from this connection and I feel it is helping to integrate something in me.

S: That is the name of the game, my man! Let’s keep the flow going tomorrow. Lots to cover one vertebrae at a time.

M:  Hmmmm…spinal humor. Not sure about that one.

S: It’s okay. The other spines with get it. INside joke.

M: Oh, boy.

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Healing The Patriarchy From Within

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Years ago, early in my healing process, I needed to take time away from family. I needed to feel myself outside the familial conditioning to really get a good feel for who I, Gabriel, really was. I needed to feel the ways in which I had been influenced to perceive myself and the world around me. This was especially true for my relationship to my father as he played a big part in my masculine conditioning and relationship to others, both male and female. He had many different effects on me that formed wounded aspects inside myself. I needed to hold and feel those parts of me as a new father template in order to relate differently to the world and others around me.

I remember as a boy my mother would tell me at times how much my father would remind her of his father, my grandfather. I remember feeling that in my own self as I became older, taking on so many physical and personal mannerisms. Taking on the family male legacy of anger and alcohol, the perception of women, and the internalizing of the patriarchal need for control and reason. As my parents divorced and my mother remarried, I took in another father figure that had just as much influence but in different ways. The Inner Father imprint was becoming embedded and it had its effect on my own sense of authenticity.  Who was I really when I was trying to listen to my own internalized father figure?

This part of us takes on a 3D patriarchal energy that comes from the more collective psychic wounding. It is one that has influenced my relationships with women and men. It has filtered my receptivity and openness to possibilities. My own inner feminine was a kept maiden, not feeling safe enough to express and emote. My inner child was suppressed to keep things in a serious and logical framework. Not much play in the world of the patriarch.

But in the unearthing and untangling of the inner father, you find the reasons for it all. There is no bad guy in the process of healing and integrating. Going into my own inner father wounds, I could feel the grander heart of the Masculine at large. The power of sovereignty and compassionate truth-telling. The desire to end the war within and be in collaborative balance with the feminine.  I could feel the the edges of my unworthiness and the real fear of surrendering to what needs to be reflected back at me as part of my growth and opening heart.

Through the process, my inner father takes a step to the side of me and becomes more of a brother, and then as the defenses soften, a younger, more boyish quality comes in and he begins to feel like a son.  I could feel my own biological father in more of his essence, encouraging me to continue on my healing journey and becoming like a guide to me along the way. It is a remaking of the past within the present moment where all things truly exist. A healing that has quantum effects between our hearts and souls and those of the collective father and son relationship.

The harder, less flexible side of me began to soften, be less defensive and more reflective. It has become less linear and more open to surrendering to the moment and letting the flow of life have its way while still holding personal will and desire in the mix.  When I do feel this energy arise I can feel what is underneath the frustration and need for control. Usually a deep wound of feeling powerless and overwhelmed in a world that feels like survival is the only reason to be alive. As I connect more with the Divine Father inside me. the more my own inner father can rest and let go of his Reign, which can feel very existential to them as the control is all they have ever known.

In the letting go, the suppressed feminine energies within can arise and begin to dance with the healing masculine and create a balanced energy that can penetrate while letting go of the outcome and the need for a particular result. It opens the heart to a more dynamic and authentic relationship with women in general and more specifically in a co-creative sacred union partnership. It shifts the collective patriarchal energetic structure and helps lead a new paradigm of leadership and stewardship of a New Earth and New Sacred Humanity.

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

 

The INpression Of Our Care-Givers: Feeling And Healing Our Inner Mother and Father

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by Gabriel Heartman and Kalayna Colibri

In the process of getting to “Know Thyself”, one actually finds the mirror you stare into splits into multiple lenses from which to truly see what makes you tick. You are many selves within the container of a more holistic integrated being. We live in the dimension of the “separate yet whole”. The minute you left Divine Source and popped out of the womb you landed in the field of “this and that” without totally being aware of it until you had enough time to be taught and to experience the depth of this perception of reality.

You landed in the arms of caregivers that you chose as a soul, to be reflectors of the world you landed in. They were the ones, or the one, that you were meant to learn from about yourself and life, for a particular phase of time until it was time to learn on your own. They are the single greatest imprint into our psyche and heart, next to community and society at large. The way they reacted or didn’t react to you, to themselves, and to the world established an emotive and mental ground inside of you that helped to form your own version of yourself.  Whether in rebellion against or in conforming to.  The relationship with and between each parent or caregiver created a pattern inside of you in subtle and not-so-subtle ways.

Over time, this energetic relationship created a space inside of yourself that has informed many decisions in regards to so many aspects of your life.  It is an Inner Mother and Father that forms in your emotional body that carries so much data about your 3D Self and how it has found itself surviving and expressing in the world and in relationship. For women, it can express as a wounded and masculinized matriarch that is protecting the more still and sensitive Yin nature of her essence in order to survive in a still rather patriarchal world. For men, it is the expression of the controlling and aggressive patriarch or the suppression of the more vulnerable and tender parts of them.

Either way, it is a way to feel your own participation in playing out the wounded masculine picture of the world as it still largely is and has been. There is an entire lineage and legacy you carry within you, that doesn’t only begin with your birth family, as of course culture and country have influence too. Your parents learned from their parents and found their way however parts of them felt it was best for them and their own consciousness level. Choosing to feel yourself and how this lives within you by your own choice of whether or not to go into it and heal it, puts you in the seat of immense inner power to move beyond it and influence future generations to do the same.

This Inner Mother and Father can hold influence over many other aspects of your 3D Self, such as your Inner Teenager and Inner Child. They are our own versions of how we took in our caregivers. Beginning a relationship with them internally can lead to a vast new experience of ourselves that we never really knew we had, as we have been unconscious of it to the degree we needed to be in order to keep that relationship intact. If there is no external relationship to your parents, the internal still exists until it is felt as a separate part of you that can foster healing, integrating, and an unanchoring of the 3D Self into higher frequencies.  If there is still a external relationship, there may be a necessary phase of separation from them so that you can fully feel what it is that lies inside that is authentically you and what is the internal manifestation of them. Some parts of you may feel as if you are ‘abandoning’ your family/parents and that this is wrong and contemptible. Yet there is no absolute here or even a vow of ‘forever’ being out of contact with them. The space you take simply allows the truths of the relationship to arise and gives you what you need in order to feel yourself and your parts in who you have been and who you want to become.

Getting to know and feel your Inner Mother and Father will lead you to your own connection to your sovereignty of being that is no longer connected to those who ushered you into this 3D life. It will help to let go of the binds and grinds that have kept your 3D Self in the swirl of this deeply impressionable and sacred relationship. As you become a parent to your inner parents you gain a whole new perspective that integrates all the power and gifts they gave you and leave the rest behind on your growing journey into the lands of your healing heart and ascending soul. Plus, in the name of the exponential service of love, you get to become the new template, piece by piece and part by part, for how the new dance of the masculine and feminine gets to arise in this purging, healing, and shifting world.

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Kalayna Colibri and Gabriel Heartman will each write more specifically about the Inner Mother and Father as it relates to the specific genders and how it has informed and affected their personal healing process and relationships. 

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  

Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess.  

Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.