Allowing Your Mourning To Open Your Heart

by Kalayna Colibri

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There are different life phases where a mourning process of some kind sets in. Parts of you can feel overwhelmed with grief… sometimes wanting to lash out, sometimes wanting to simply cocoon in until the storm passes, and maybe the two of these are combined in some moments too. Life can feel ‘cruel’ to parts, especially as it is often so hard to try and see the bigger picture holding the process you have found yourself immersed in, sometimes without much warning at all.

What I feel to invite now, is for all of us to feel it and be with it. Let it move into you, feeling it through, being in the tears. Parts of you need this ‘time’. They need to simply be held. The time for reframing for them and moving on from the suffering of it into more context and ultimately a deeper trust in love, life, self and the Divine too will emerge naturally, especially if the rawness is felt first. 3D reality has conditioned other parts of us to want to stymie the whole process of mourning and grief and they have deeply taken that in and held it as the only possibility. Even some spiritual practices encourage ‘letting go’ as the number one priority, yet ‘letting love’ is what comes first… letting love in to do its work, which comes into the heart, illuminates and presses on the bumps and bruises to allow the feeling to come in and flow out, which ultimately brings us the gift of deep healing and a naturally arising sense of joy and trust on the other side of it.

Ultimately, mourning of anything or anyone… any relationship, any life phase… is a process of alchemy. It is a process of creation and recreation in an extremely powerful way, as all movements within the heart truly are. It is an opportunity to allow in compassion as the mourning churns and moves and eventually fades, too. Compassion for the person or thing or perhaps beloved pet you are letting go of. Compassion for the life they led, the phases had with you, their needs for the next phase of life or death or anything in between that they now need to be with and live into. This is perhaps one of the most challenging things to feel for parts of us, yet it is the place where I feel we are ultimately guided to by pure love frequencies, as we feel everything that’s NOT compassion first, as well as the deep mourning and sense of loss in parts of us.

What truly moves us into our next phases and places is ‘e-motion’… our feelings rise and fall as they need to and this is what maps out the terrain of our next growth points and places of deeper inhabitation in our lives. It is often a very powerful sojourn into the unknown of life that launches us into our most profound awakenings and healing. This is what leads us, by the heart, into our Sacred Humanity and all that this new phase of humanity entails… ❤

With you, in whatever mourning processes you may be going through, as I am also in the various layers of mine…

Kalayna ❤

***

Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Preparing For Contact With Star BEings: From The Inside First

By Jelelle Awen

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There is a scene in the movie, E.T., that has always brought up tears for part of me. It’s one of the last ones when E.T. is returning back to his light ship to join his Star Family. Elliot, the boy that has connected so deeply with him on many levels, begins to yell, “E.T., take me with you! Take me with you!” It is Elliot’s anguish at losing contact with E.T.; it is his despair at having to stay on Earth rather than go to travel in the stars and into unknown realms. It is the realization that he would never just be an ordinary boy again. His Star Seed consciousness has been awakened as E.T. becomes a part of him and he part of the benevolent and kind Star BEIng.

I didn’t identify until the last few years why this scene was so emotional for part of me. When I began to wake up to my galactic origins and my connection to the stars, I realized that what had previously been blocking my openness to Star BEing contact had been traumas from what my 3D Inner Child had experienced or filtered as ‘abductions’ with them starting at the age of 8 and continuing until I was about 17 years old. Although I had been working with my emotional body through parts work for many years by then, I was amazed at the depth of pain that came up connected to this wounding.

I realized eventually that it was a complicated pain that went beyond parts of me feeling like I had been taken ‘against my will’ by them. It was actually also rooted in a deep desire and longing to return to the frequencies that felt more like ‘home’ to my Metasoul….the higher, Unity Consciousness frequencies that most benevolent Star BEings seem to vibrate at. It was also sourced in a deep sense of having being abandoned and ‘left’ by them to suffer here on Earth with parents that were often difficult to relate with.

Through my healing process of many years connecting with my 3D Inner Child, she eventually transmuted into magical frequencies of what I now feel is our “Star Seed” essence. As I processed Aurora’s (my Star Seed Child’s name) multi-layered pain around what we both now remembered were actually ‘visitations with Star Family’, we were able to open up relationship with Metasoul Aspects such as my Arcturian Metasoul sister named Binkh, Pleiadian named Leeza, and, just yesterday, a Blue Avian named Beslopha (plus others). Aurora started to remember the adventures she had experienced on their light ships when I was a child. She recalled floating and flying around, freed from gravity, and playing with the endangered and even extinct animal species that they keep on their ships, serving like a Noah’s Ark to protect them during Gaia’s rocky Ascension phases until they can be transplanted back here.

I feel access to the Star Seed Child is a critical piece to open up contact with Star Family. The ‘doorway’ into that access seems to be through your 3D Inner Protector, who forms a protective shield around the 3D Inner Child due to undigested traumas that you experienced during childhood AND your Metasoul. Through conscious negotiation with the 3D Protector, you gain more feeling sense of your Inner Child helping them transmute from lower frequencies of hurt to vulnerability; from shame to innocence; from anxiety to trust. Once the Inner Child is unanchored from 3D reality, your Star Seed 4D child arises into your awareness.

They become a key bridge to contact with Star BEings once their woundings of abandonment are in process of healing. This often takes, then, negotiation with the 4D Inner Protector, who is transmuting into what we call the Gatekeeper – or bridge to access your Metasoul and other lifetimes, Star Family Aspects, etc. The Star Seed eventually vibrates higher and higher and seems to integrate into your 5D Self as your Crystalline Child seated in your Merkabah or Light Body. This is the process that we support you to navigate through SoulFullHeart sessions. All these parts are described more here: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/parts and our process here: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sfhprocess

Contact with my Star Family has recently been only through meditation and Astral visits, rather than in person. It’s been offered to me that they are honoring the sensitivity of Aurora and other parts of me that might not be ready yet for in person contact. They also feel that the contact experience actually goes much deeper for me into my higher consciousness when I do not bring my body along….yet, anyway. They are definitely preparing me for that, though, as each awakening connection with another Metasoul Star Family Aspect deepens my trust, resonance, and understanding of what they are here to offer us during this intense phase of death and rebirth with Gaia. Eventually, they have offered that I will become even more of an emoto-spiritual, galactic love ambassador to many Star BEings (which they seem to prefer to be called, rather then “Aliens” or “E.Ts”) in addition to continuing to support others to create this bridge from within themselves.

Preparing for contact with Star BEings is primarily about preparing on the inside, in your emotional body, in your energy body, in your Metasoul, and with parts of you that have resistance or fear to it. You may feel a very strong desire for contact, yet, parts of you may feel very differently about it. Accessing these mixed feelings and which parts of you they source from clears the channels. You can negotiate with the energies and hold space for the exploration to eventually open out to what you desire.

Contact with us is beginning in more earnest now as benevolent Star BEings prepare the phases of disclosure about their existence and legacy with us. You may experience contact primarily through dreams, where often your subconscious cloaks them as animals or people that you know. And, you may experience sudden activation of Light Language or Star Language. Many of your ‘guides’ that show up as Angels may actually be Star Family. Depending on your Metasoul’s relationship with the polarized to fear Star BEings known as Archons or Annunaki, you may go through fear-based experiences such as the sense that you are being attacked by their energies. These energies actually originate from inside of you and your Metasoul. Love-based connection with your Reptilian Metasoul Aspect can create a healing bridge to these energies, where you discover that you can transmute these energies from fearful to magical. I write more about my experience in awakening my Star Seed, my Reptilian Self, and to my Star Family connections in my book, Keep Waking Up!:soulfullheartwayoflife.com/books

Disclosure of Star BEing influences, alliances, and even peaceful interventions feels like it will be coming in the next couple of years on a collective level. Many more souls will be woken up by their Star Family to this reality. Souls still anchored to their 3D Self and 3D fear-based picture about “Aliens” may experience great shock and terror in response to these disclosures. You can offer a compassionate heart light to these souls fused to the parts of them that feel pain, distrust, and confusion. Initiating and deepening the contact process from within allows you to navigate with more trust and, also, to lead others as the Star Seed BEacon that you are during this time of such massive consciousness shiftings and transitions!

~

Our next Group Call with Raphael and I is on Saturday, December 9th. It offers a great calibration point to our energy if you are feeling drawn to and curious about what we offer through the SoulFullHeart process. More here:https://www.facebook.com/events/813881412132524??ti=ia

Jelelle Awen is a Soul Scribe, Sacred Feminine and Sacred Union Facilitator, co-creator and teacher of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. She is author of  Sacred Human, Arising Wonder: Ascension Through Integration Of Your Emotional Body With Your Spirituality and  Keep Waking Up! Awakening Journeys To Avalon And Beyond.

Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions and a free intro session, group calls, videos, etc. Visit our patreon page to offer a monthly or one time money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

 

 

Energizing Desired Timelines And Letting Go During This 11/11 Gateway

by Kalayna Colibri

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By now you may have discovered and uncovered the timelines you most want and feel you are most meant to walk out in this life. Now comes the phase of energizing it, letting the pieces fall where they will. This can come in so many forms… some easy, some challenging.

Going inward and feeling all there is to feel as you let go, vacating aspects of different areas of your life that no longer ‘fit’. Even the process of feeling this vacating and willingly walking into some type of ‘void’ space is visceral and deep. Even THIS requires so much feeling and ‘me’ space, as well as space held with soul family/community beloveds, if you have drawn this experience to yourself, who can support and also mirror for you where your next places are to go within yourself and within themselves too, in order for all of you to not only imagine but start living into your own scale of Infinite Possibilities, incoming in the form of new and higher timelines.

As we continue walking through this 11/11 Gateway for another 12 days, this will be and is the process for many… cleaning house, feeling the letting go, getting ready for the letting in, and letting it ALL land equally in your heart of hearts and your soul of souls.

Your readiness is measured in some ways by the parts of you that you have gone inside to deeply feel in this process. Parts that aren’t ready and/or cannot feel a growing authentic YOU at the helm, will often sabotage the forward glide of your ship or draw circumstances that show up as choppy waters and stormy seas. There is nothing ‘wrong’ with this, as it all offers a mirror for where you have yet to go and what you have yet to feel. Indeed, there are NO mistakes on this terrain you’re traveling and it’s all exactly what you need, when you need it…

If you would like some help, love, support and mirroring on this journey and you feel resonant with what we offer in SoulFullHeart, you can visit http://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions to feel into having a free intro session with one of us where we can go inward with you and help you map out the territory for climbing the mountain of drawing your highest timeline possibilities. ❤

 

***

Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

 

Re-creation

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By Raphael Awen

Feeling the feeling that your life as you currently know it is a perfect mirror of the larger totality of your being, in both its local (conscious) and nonlocal (subconscious) aspects is the portal to accelerated growth and inhabitation of the largesse of your being.

The word mirror in its root meaning speaks of the ability to see what can’t be seen, or to see what is in the shadow.

The lives we are currently living with all the feelings, experiences, disappointments, fulfillments, aches, disease and health are all perfect projections projected out onto this mirror called your life. Often times, others around us can see more of what’s in our mirror, as we all tend to possess less courage to look at our own mirror.

Seeing this is not so much a philosophical realization, as much as it is a courageous willingness to be ready to admit full responsibility for our lives.

Reality is as real as real can be, AND it is 100%, totally and completely simply made up. Both are true. AND, the creator is this magical god-being called you, and me. We are to each other synchronistic characters in each other’s play, upon the mirrored stages of each other’s lives.

Anything I say or declare to be ‘true’ can never be anything more than my truth, as the mere act of looking at my declared truth changes it and queues it up for further revision. Everything I say can never be more than ‘near as I can tell’. If I arm twist anyone into seeing it as more than that, I am out to control you, out of my own insecurities, yes, but deeper than that, I am out to deny my own reality-creation reality and I’m needing your cosignature of that as a reinforcement. In other words, I’m hiding. And I’m creating culture as a hiding place, because that is something else we cannot not-do as the creators that we are.

Hanging on rigidly to declarations of absolute truth is also a reality creating projection option that we all have. I personally went through a long phase this life as a Christian where I ‘knew that I knew’ that the Bible was ‘the inerrant, infallible, God-breathed word of God’. The reality felt very blissfully watertight, until the glitches in this matrix of my own creation (and collective archetypal co-creation) began to become apparent to me, inviting me to investigate my paradigm, and then later to see this paradigm being generated from my own reality creating generator.

This then awakens us to the fact that we are unable to turn our reality creating mechanism to any ‘off’ position. But what we can do is take responsibility for what we are creating and seek to alter the reality of what we are creating. How we do that is up for creation and continual re-creation (divine play).

In SoulFullHeart, our truth is that parts of ourselves hold the deeper textures of this reality generating mechanism and only through relationally getting to know and feel them is any substantive and quantum change able to occur in our lives. Short of getting to know our sub-personalities, we are left with a part of us holding our consciousness hostage and embarking on yet another self help trip.

Your Higher Self can very much interrupt this pattern through your awakening choice and intention to get to know and feel these aspects of yourself. We find it truly is magical.

We get to make up our own reality, and admit that we are, and recreate it as often as we need to, evolving from one truth to another, to another.

That’s crazy hot stuff man, and I don’t think anything you are smoking compares! 

Raphael Awen
Soulfullheartwayoflife.Com/sfhprocess

Hey: Our next Group Call with Jelelle Awen and I on the 9th would be a great calibration point to our energy if you are feeling to feel us out deeper. We would love to have you as we are actively wanting to expand our community of SoulFullHearts. More here:https://www.facebook.com/events/813881412132524??ti=ia

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit  www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about Weekly Sessions, Live Streams, Videos, and Community.

Return LOVE in money form: https://www.paypal.me/supportsoulfullheart or visit our Patreon page to become a monthly supporter: https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

SoulFullHeart Weekly Museletter: A Mega Year For Revelations & Shiftings

It’s the release of our weekly museletter! Offering ALL of our writings, videos, healing offerings, and audio blogs for the week!  Go here to read or click on the image below:

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Featured this week is an energy update by SoulFullHeart co-creator Jelelle Awen, who feels into the upcoming 2018 new year. She has been offered that it will be a huge year of disclosure, revealing surprising shadow in leaders and systems that most people have always relied on. She offers that it may feel hard to believe to many people, like their worst nightmares coming true. In SoulFullHeart, we offer support during these times of transition, even to those who have already awakened to these realities but may still have parts anchored in 3D reality that are struggling:

“Support for you comes in the continual choices toward love and realness. Toward no longer settling and shrinking in your relationships. Toward claiming, naming, and focusing on your service of love purpose here – even if it is to heal yourself, serve love TO yourself in order to overflow in a genuine way to others eventually. Toward no longer hiding your light under anyone’s perceptions or expectations of you.”

We have many articles this week following the 11/11 energies describing the transformation, realizations, and love that arose with the thinning veils. SoulFullHeart co-creator Raphael Awen and facilitator Kalayna Colibri both discuss the confusion of having so many spiritual options and advice at your disposal, and what they feel is the best way to feel into and embody these varying energies and processes. In another article, Gabriel Heartman reflects on the feeling of being in process by comparing it to a climbing experience he had at Zion National Park.

In addition to articles, many of these writings have been turned into audio blogs for you to either listen to or read along with our voices. We also now offer podcasts of our audio blogs, livestreams, group calls and teachings for you to take in wherever you are! Available on SoundCloud or iTunes under SoulFullHeart Experience.

Our next upcoming event is a group call hosted by Raphael and Jelelle Awen on Saturday, December 9th at 11:11am CST as well as a livestream scheduled for Saturday, December 23rd at 11:11am CST.

We now offer a 30 minute FREE introductory session with a SoulFullHeart facilitator for you to connect what we offer in the SFH process with your life and journey. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions for more information.

We love to share our offerings with you and would enjoy to receive whatever heart donation in the form of money you feel that resonates with our offering. You can go to our donation page for more info on how to donate: http://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/donations

Thank you so much for your interest and support for SoulFullHeart Way of Life! If you’d like to receive these museletters directly, you can subscribe on our website at: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/writingmuseletters

Here’s another link to this week’s museletter:

http://mailchi.mp/5ef2ebd7f41a/soulfullheart-weekly-museletter-a-mega-year-for-revelations-shiftings

SoulFullHeart’s Monthly Money UPdate for November 2017

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By Raphael Awen

The 5 of us lived comfortably this month on $740 USD per person!

This is a product of an ongoing deep reboot with our relationship to money and career.

I know how crazy $700 a person sounds for a comfortable enough living arrangement to Western ears, as we used to live in Canada on much more.

We are very much looking to increase our income to enter some new timelines, and even return soon to Canada, and that will take some new money flow for sure, but I can’t tell you how great it has been to pull the plug on an old relationship to money. Some years ago, Jelelle and I (2 of us as opposed to 5) used to live on 10 times that amount while longing to put our deeper sense of calling first in our lives.

We very much can feel this new money timeline arising, and we wanted to document it and share it as we go, on a monthly basis with these Patreon posts as a way of transparentizing our own ongoing shifts in our relationship to money out to those we serve to help foster people’s own similar shifts.

Here’s a look at our money flow for this month: November, 2017.

(all figures in US Dollars)

$3,701 – Total Revenue for November (which was just over the recent 7 month average of 3,543).

Revenue breakdown as follows:

$2,271 – Gabriel and Kalayna’s English Teaching through VIPkid.

$202 – This month there was a bit of money from some online work gigs through UPwork that Kalayna and Raianna did with a little help from Gabriel and I.

$1,032 – Sessions Donations are back on the way up as a new wave of people are responding. We ask for a minimum donation of 55 USD per weekly session.

$140 – Group Call Donations for our one Group Call this month. Minimum donation is 11 usd to participate.

$42 – General Donations through Patreon and Paypal. We received one new monthly supporter this month for $25 usd.

$14 – Book Sales of Jelelle’s Books

On the Expenses side of things, we have:

$685 – Total Rent for 3 living spaces

$30 – 2 Zoom accounts for Sessions and Group Calls

$91 – Bank Service Fees and Payment transfer fees

$8 – Netflix

$75 – Internet – Total for 5 modems (where else can you get internet for $15.00?)

$97 – Monthly payments on 2 new laptops

$10 – Website Hosting

$996 – Total fixed expenses!

The rest ($541 per person) goes to food, clothes, a tiny bit on fuel, a bit at Starbucks and our wish list for home and recreation, etc..

We would be so delighted to receive your monthly support on Patreon at: https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart

or you can make a one time donation (as often as you’d like) through our Paypal here: https://www.paypal.me/supportsoulfullheart

Thank you for feeling this with us and thank you for your support!

 

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit  www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about Weekly Sessions, Live Streams, Videos, and Community.

Return LOVE in money form: https://www.paypal.me/supportsoulfullheart or visit our Patreon page to become a monthly supporter: https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

 

The ReLOVEution Of Our ELOVEution

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The world stage is churning. Bubbling. The emperors’ clothes are fading and we are beginning to see what lies behind the Wizards of Oz. As this process continues to unfold itself right in front of our very eyes, a grasp at old tactics of fear and disinformation will find their way to our once-conditioned ears.

The old power structure is losing its grasp and the final act of this long drama is in the beginning stages. What this world will look and feel like a year from now is anybody’s guess but what is for certain is that it will be “truth is stranger than fiction” compared to our old way of experiencing what is normal.

This pole shift in consciousness will have a huge affect on those that have yet to awaken to what is and has been happening for centuries. Even to frame it in linear time doesn’t quite have much impact on this Now. What has been illusion based on control and fear is now approaching an event horizon. It is sunsetting. The light of Gaia’s higher climb is creating a bifurcation. A fork in the road that still leads to the same place, just in a different route.

What is happening “out there” is a mirror of what is happening IN here. Your own inner wizards of Oz are possibly kicking up some old stuff to bring you down to a lowered frequency. Your inner protectors, punishers, and gatekeepers are sniffing the new timeline of Love that is rising ever so persistently. Their relationship to Love is a volatile one and if you are not conscious of them as separate to you then it can feel like mayhem is going on inside. They have many reasons for this need to keep you in a lowered frequency as what has seemed to be “safer”. It is one that is the most known even in its suffering.

As this rising continues, I expect more people to feel an inner urgency that they just can’t put their finger on. An emotional and spiritual roller-coaster. From a SoulFullHeart perspective, these are parts of you and not what you would consider “I”. These are 3D parts that have “this life” wounding and metasoul lives that are in other timelines feeling the same rumblings. Those that are on the front heartlines of this reLOVEution have been doing the inner work needed to assist in this epic phase of our eLOVEution.

There are those too that are now waking up and feeling the rumbles within. The path for some is to fight and inform. For others it is going IN, letting go of the old, and preparing for the new. Helping the growing numbers make a self-loving transition into the Golden Age of Golden Earth. SoulFullHeart offers a transitional bridge, through the parts work process, that helps to self-propel you into your Golden Self. It is a unique in its depth and breadth.

If you find yourself in very turbulent times and are wanting to feel a different way of relating to what is happening inside and outside, check out our website for a deeper feel into what we have to offer. If your Higher Self is pinging you, we have a free 30 minute intro session to see how we would serve you if it felt like a path for you.

These are extraordinary times and it requires extraordinary courage, vision, and leadership. SoulFullHeart is on the cutting edge of that. You are on the leading edge of it. It is time now to move into a new gear and let the vestiges of the old be honored and felt with your compassionate heart. It is the way of the Sacred Human birthing from the scared human into true love ambassadorship.

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Becoming Your ButterFly Self

By Jelelle Awen

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You are outgrowing that previously necessary cocoon. That safety place to bake, to ache, to create. That place removed, sometimes isolated, sometimes feeling dark void space. No longer able to be in a lesser 3D ground where others may be more comfortable meeting you there, even as you are growing taller than their imaginations can imagine yet.
 
You have been surrendering to the process of BEing the transforming caterpillar until now. Tucked into the birthing space, sometimes gestating, sometimes thrashing, sometimes searching for a deeper and wider understanding. Sometimes missing your precious forms, shapes, and ways that were in the known. You are becoming more comfortable in the unknown and in the space where Infinite Possibilities pose no obvious limits.
 
You are BEing created as you are creating the life and timeline that you most want and desire. The timeline shimmers like a mirage in the distance, yet it comes ever closer with every choice of love. With every choice to love even fear, even darkness, even denser, even differences. The timeline of your highest purpose to serve love comes closer with every shift of heart from comparison to inspiration; from judging to compassion; from taking to sharing; from polarization to unification.
 
You are BEing created as your Butterfly Self….to eventually emerge, to burst out of any kind of safety or limits, to always be growing. You are BEing the metamorphosis into your arising Sacred Human in fleshy form. You are ready to be born. You are ready to spread your wings. Now, you are ready to FLY!

~

Jelelle Awen is an Emoto-Spiritual Teacher, Sacred Feminine and Sacred Union Facilitator, Soul Scribe, waySHOWer, and co-creator and teacher of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. She is author of  Sacred Human, Arising Wonder: Ascension Through Integration Of Your Emotional Body With Your Spirituality and  Keep Waking Up! Awakening Journeys To Avalon And Beyond.

Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions and a free intro session, group calls, videos, etc. Visit our patreon page to offer a monthly or one time money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

 

Undigested Trauma As A Portal To The Emotional Body

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By Raphael Awen

It wasn’t the traumas that occurred to us that affect us long term as much as it was our inability to digest those traumas.

Traumas are digested by a heart-open other being there to feel what we are feeling, while we are feeling it.

When that didn’t happen for us in our earliest experiences as our caregivers were busy nursing their own undigested traumas, and often were the source of new traumas happening to us, a part of us formed to shut down feeling.

This shutting down of feeling was the only viable option given the landscape. Even this is a loving act by a loving being inside of us. These Inner Protector parts of us took their posts early in our lives, often in our infancy as the frequencies were too dissonant and something ‘needed to be done’ if we were to survive, and fulfill our mission this life.

The most interesting thing though is that for these traumas and their energy, there is no such thing as time. Our emotions don’t live by a calendar or a clock. They are only in the now, and this so explains why we as a human race are so averse to hanging around in the Now, always projecting ourselves into the past, the not-so-present present and the future.

We are afraid of the Now. It’s not that being in the Now is such an attained spiritual practice, but rather that this part of us, tasked with not feeling and compartmentalizing our feelings away, has effectively cordoned our conscious selves off from the Now.

We are left with trauma, and a part of ourselves formed to deal with the trauma the best way it knew how, and this necessitated that this part be largely at the helm of your personality.

Only with an arising you that is willing, wanting and committed to feeling these undigested traumas, will the Inner Protector part of you begin to let down its guard and enter a new relationship to its own being.

This is the true magical ground of transmutation into love that many of us know and feel is overdue and wanting to arise Now, but find so elusive for us personally after much focus of time and resources to spiritual practices. It was our Inner Protectors largely that were leading our spiritual regimens seeking a bit of relief while keeping their reality intact in our lives.

So let me ask you this: Would you be willing to begin to feel an arising you, in your sense of self, as distinct from what you always simply called ‘you’, as an authentic self called to get to know and feel this Inner Protector?

This is the golden portal into your magical essence. Your Inner Protector has effectively preserved an alternative reality cryogenically, now awaiting your awakening to what is, to begin a thawing process entering into this previously forbidden world of feelings.

That world of feeling is where you came from. It is your most upstream essence as a consciousness. Entering this domain required your essence as feeling to be ‘dealt with’ until such time as a deeper feeling awareness could arise with intention to return to full feeling.

Now, you become this heart-open other who shows up in the Now to feel what couldn’t be felt when these traumas entered your life. You showing up for you. You finding the holy grail of your own consciousness, and giving yourself to it as your deepest calling…

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about Weekly Sessions, Live Streams, Videos, and Community.

Return LOVE in money form: https://www.paypal.me/supportsoulfullheart or visit our Patreon page to become a monthly supporter: https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

The Flower Bud Of The Opening And Healing Heart

by Kalayna Colibri

flower bud

I wrote this poem last year on this day… it represents so much to me, about the process of different parts of me, waiting and wanting to emerge, feeling hesitant to let me be in my bigness that includes their bigness too. I feel the ever-opening heart that only opens more with realness and vulnerable feelings of where, when and how it is hard to be open to love… 

I am publishing this today, to feel and honour your process as well as mine. Maybe something in my words and energy here will invite you to feel your resonance with the process of opening up the heart that I am sharing about. ❤

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I feel my heart’s openness 
bloom and close
like a hesitant yet aching flower bud.
Yet so young though quite old
I find a solace somewhere in the unknown
and a restlessness too
that points out the grey
yet colours the night
with radiant rays of blue and gold.

The seeking of a heart that rumbles
and never really sleeps
nor needs to
for the other-dimensional sights and sounds
are the ones it is always tuned to
and the songs it always plays
on a heart-si-chord of gold and white light.

Perhaps the words flowing out
have still a place to land
in another hesitant flower bud
who also dreams to paint the sky
with the radiance of its very being
and its very courage of existence,
like a banner to all others
who long to be touched
by what they cannot see or understand
with a learned mentality
and years of seeking and not discovering.

This flower’s bud will soon find its aperture
that reflects its growing wholeness
and perfection
in the light of all that was once seen as grey
and all that was once felt
as the bleeding of a day
that simply refused to dawn.

 

***

Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.