The moments of deflation are necessary sometimes, of ‘taking stock’, taking a deep breath..an exhale and an inhale, a pause. Before the next letting in of this NEW life that you are the creator, director, and producer of in the Now. This NEW life with timelines that seem to unfurl with magical connections at an increasingly rapid pace.
There are moments of mourning though, letting go of what you’ve invested in sometimes with all of your heart and soul that just didn’t fit in with the NEW. Things just didn’t ‘work out’ even though you so thought that they would! In these ‘in between’ moments, trust and vision and creativity still LIVE, they’ve just gone dormant to allow digestion of loss to happen, to clear you for letting in more.
The watering of Divine support is still there…supporting you, believing in you, imbibing you…waiting patiently until you are ready to receive and move and serve again.
~
These words are a blessed gift from my higher self guides/aspects as this is the exact place I find myself at in the moment after collapses and completions in recent weeks in SoulFullHeart/my life….maybe you will find resonance and some solace in them too!
Our body vessels are UPgrading in our every living cell from carbon, the ‘old school’ physical operating system of 3D reality, to crystalline or Christalline (as I like to call it). Crystalline is the ‘new school’ operating system of our light bodies whose fuel cells increasingly ‘run’ on energy. This process of transition from 3D carbon to 4D transitional to 5D light body has been going on for some of us for many years. Yet, also, our emotional bodies have been in an UPgrade process too, going from mostly unconscious or subconscious reality processing to CONSCIOUS feeling and healing of our this life and other lifetime emotional energies to really clear them and complete them.
This is new, cutting edge, consciously taking ALL our bodies ‘with us’ into higher vibrational frequencies of consciousness. We know the float out, astral self exploration, near death, being ‘out’ of the body in these moments of intense tunnel of light experiences. But, to remain WITHIN the physical body, which is the densest aspect of our BEing, is quite an undertaking. We’ve signed up for this UPgrade experiment collectively, led by those of us on the leading edge of the process showing the way, lighting the illuminating lanterns along the path for others to follow along.
The ‘ascension symptoms’ related to the body are vast and seem to be so unique to each soul, directly connected to what you’ve signed up to heal and feel this life from your Metasoul legacy that became triggered for you by this life experiences. The degree of experience related to body symptoms, I believe, is also connected to the emotional body conscious healing that you have engaged with AND Metasoul/other lifetime aspects conscious integration as well. The more lower vibrational, fear-based ‘stuff’ in your emotional body (which spans from this life to other lifetimes and seems to connect to the collective emotional body as well), the harder your body has to work to clear it from your cellular memory during the UPgrade process.
I actually feel that the emotional woundings ARE what is downstream of the body reactions. There IS a process of adjustment and ‘enlightenment’ going on with our physical bodies, yet I feel that many if not all of the ‘ascension symptoms’ can be connected to an emotional body root cause that stems from this life and other lifetime woundings. The body is ‘talking to us’ and pointing out what needs our attention from an emotional body perspective and parts of us express through the physical body with pain and suffering and discomfort to ‘get our attention.’ Any manifestation of pain signifies resistance to love, so I feel that experiencing pain while going through these body UPgrades is actually a sign of fear-based resistance from parts of us that CAN be moved and healed and even abated through conscious connection, negotiation, and love with them.
The next time you are experiencing a ‘ascension body symptom’ and would normally just see it that way with the usual way of ‘letting it BE and accept it as part of the ascension process’, feel into this approach instead. Connect with the symptom in a conscious way….let’s say it is ‘ringing in the ears’ as is commonly reported by many souls. Bringing in your most loving, caring, parental energy and opening your heart, write a letter to the body symptom and ask for it to share with you what its pain is about. Or you could connect to it during meditation with creative visualization, seeing yourself in a room filled with white light and the energy of the physical symptom ‘in the room’ with you. Ask it to tell you its ‘story’ and reveal to you the origins and reasons for the pain.
You might be QUITE surprised by what comes back to you! It could be access to this life memories stored in your emotional body (which doesn’t orient to linear time at all) that you had ‘forgotten’ about or, really, that part of you had blocked you from remembering (usually the Inner Protector) because it was too painful. It could open up access to a wounding pattern in your Metasoul connected to expression or repression of clairaudience abilities (in this example) and persecution experiences that your Metasoul/other lifetime aspects are experiencing in the NOW (because again there is no linear time, no ‘past lives’.) This exploration could reveal to you an aspect of yourself that needs your ongoing attention and love, such as your Inner Child, Inner Teenager, Inner Protector, etc.
The ascension process is meant to push UP these woundings for us to feel, so that we can transmute them with love into higher frequencies. JUST looking at the physical body symptoms as ‘part of the process’ and treating them with remedies at the physical level (even if they are natural ones) actually screens out and blocks out a HUGE resource of information for us about ourselves and our soul legacies too. I also feel that this is why so many people experience looping patterns of body symptoms that can last for days, months, even years……which I’m feeling in this moment you don’t HAVE to experience it this way. Temporary physical discomforts and transitions that you then respond to with perhaps natural remedies and definitely some dietary changes is a self loving response to a process that you are holding as necessary, yet definitely transitory AS you dig deeper to feel and see if there is more going on at the emotional body level that can be cleared.
You may have forgotten how to be your own love detective, curiously searching for and finding clues to your own healing and transformation through EVERYTHING that happens within and with you. Looking ‘outside’ to others for resources on what this or that ascension body symptom COULD mean according to them is an example of forgetting your own love detective essence. Curious and compassionate self exploration LED by you allows you to move from victim to the ascension symptoms into self empowered collaborator who is negotiating WITH the physical expression at the emotional body level. You then have a ‘with’ relationship to what is happening to you on all levels, leading with trust that everything you experience is more data about yourself and your soul that ultimately leads to more experience of and service of LOVE. ~
Facilitators in our SoulFullHeart process (Raphael, Gabriel, and Kalayna) can serve you to make this connection inside, helping you to bridge your emotional body WITH your physical and your spiritual, during space holding sessions that offer then HUGE relief and even profound transmutation of previously stuck energies. More information about sessions here: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions
Just like a seed that is sitting in the soil, we have this untapped yet preset potential. The seed can only see itself a seed until the right conditions come in to alter its reality. The water of real love comes pouring in and around. It begins to shift inside and make changes. It does not resist its ultimate destiny but it must push through some dark and difficult terrain. It has become something new. Its outer shell has popped and it is more genuine nature comes through.
Our 3D persona could be seen as this shell. Our protected layer. The seed of our sacred humanity. It is as if we consciously placed our essence into this seed and placed ourselves in the soil of this dimension in order to grow into more. What we thought we were, a seed, is turning out to be way more.
As this new growth begins to make its way through the soil, it is having to make some serious adjustments and recalibrations. This feels like our 4D awakening. Moving through so much turmoil and redefining what we had been used to accepting as real love. What we were so used to and comfortable with in our cozy shell. This alchemical growth phase is a very sacred yet trying time. It can be hard to feel we will ever see the light.
Yet there are moments of breakthrough. We pierce through old veils and conditionings. We begin to make difficult and challenging choices that are more aligned with our path outside the soil of turmoil. We begin to see what we were meant to be and really ARE as new leaves form to receive more of the love we have needed all along.
When we begin to feel fruits of our inner work, a new awareness sets in. You are meant to rise. To blosssom. To reach to the heights of your greatest desires and dreams. To get there though was not small feat. It took tremendous courage and following the inner truth that you were more than just that seed. It took feeling your way, all the way, through the messy and prickly.
As humans we have the conscious free will choice to shut it all down if we want to and need to. That is all part of the growth. But you will always grow, and it all depends on the rate and pace you choose. SoulFullHeart offers a super-charged nutrition for your desired growth into More. If you are feeling the grist of the soil and are looking for some sunlight, we are here to serve that with you in sacred space. We continue to grow in our own ways and are looking for more flowers and trees in our garden of Love and Discovery.
This hum moving through…it’s yours, yes, AND it’s mine now too. You gifted it to me with your kingness coming into my bodily castle and easing into the throne next to and within mine.
It’s the vibration of US, tenderly toned together with life, with love, with fears, with tears. Was that yesterday that I felt such sorrow and you were there then too….just as present in the pleasure as the struggle.
This signature of our voices rising…….coming together in languages from other lifetimes, dialects of heart, spoken by our tongues, yet felt most deeply by our souls, and beyond words too.
The paradises and struggles, both, of other lifetimes move into this now with us. They snuggle into this bed and offer us both loss and gain, bliss and pain.
These other lifetime aspects play us the scenes of those previously forgotten experiences so we can now remember what we have been and ARE together and all that we might yet become.
How deep we go! How much we share and have shared together! How much more we have to experience! The Infinite Possibilities of this Infinite Love speak of ALL these truths in our common moments.
This is NOT just ours, it is not something that can be owned. It desires to be shared, so that others too can awaken to the siren song of sacred union within that draws to them THEIR frequency of heart, soul, body, and mind mate….adding their unique tones together to the Hum of Universal Oneness.
~
For my BEloved counterpart soul mate Raphael Awen…..it makes part of him a bit shy when I write and share in afterglow but, also, I believe he LOVES it too and what better inspiration is there?! This photo of Raphael and I reminds me of our Lemurian Metasoul aspects and their life together, which is coming through in the now…Rae-Na and Rae-Nor, beautiful energy, beautiful union, much to teach us….more about connecting with Metasoul aspects with your counterpart soul mate here: https://soulfullheartblog.com/2017/06/07/bridging-to-our-metasoul-aspects-through-sacred-union-within-and-with-our-counterpart-mate/
Forgotten, long-lost items are found once again. Finally coming around to cleaning those nooks and crannies where dust and old energies have gotten stuck. Moving on from one space and into another is a process for sure, one that happens with many emotional reactions as we let go of one phase and embrace another. There are physical body reactions too as we enter a new space where old energy needs to be cleared and we feel the clearing too of our ‘old’ space that once held our energy to the brim and beyond. It is a shakedown of sorts, loosening up and releasing something that no longer fits us on a deeper level, though in many cases parts of us may still have attachments to what we moving on from. Sometimes this ‘letting go’ is and needs to be an ongoing process for a while, or a process that ebbs and flows, may seem to be over, but eventually comes back around again. On a soul level, it is natural to want to move on from one place to another, especially as we discover and desire to be in more of our soul bigness, purpose, and power.
This journey of packing up, leaving behind, exploring the new, is something we’re all experiencing now in different waves and on different levels. Some of us are stepping into the new, having many reactions we can’t quite seem to sort through, and then retracting, trying to go back into an old space that has now expired for us in many ways. The picture that comes, is of a growing toddler trying to wear his or her baby clothes again because they were so comfortable once upon a time! This is such a tough process and letting go is never quite as easy as some make it sound, especially if you’ve signed up to truly feel yourself in every moment along the way.
These last two weeks have been full of movement for me personally and this movement process has taken place on a personal, soul, and even physical level. It has been a phase that started with saying ‘yes’ to several new possibilities, trusting that they would take me somewhere new and good, despite the challenge of inhabiting this. Sure enough too, after the ‘yes’ came reactions and a part of me wanting to contract and maybe collapse it all in a way, though she also felt how this would all open out eventually, even with her level of tension. This is a part of me I got to reunite with, actually, like something that got buried under the bed or dresser so long ago that you only find it when you’re moving somewhere new! She surfaced and I could feel her reactions with her and as the dust settles around the ‘new’ still, I am continuing to feel her around it all – her fears, her joys, and her vision of possibilities too. It has also been a couple weeks of letting go of certain connections with other people which is probably the hardest aspect of this phase to be with.
I feel as if we’re living in a restless, boisterous phase globally in the moment and it does feel challenging to find our stillness within while walking it all out. It is an exciting time while so much is being revealed to us and inside of that are also some hard-to-swallow truths. It is a time where we are being energized to really create the new as we go and not wait for permission from outside of us to take the steps we need to in order to really be in this. It is a time of trust in life, ourselves and the Divine, which is, of course, a process in and of itself while we learn what real trust even is… making it so important to take as much personal space as necessary, to breathe and digest and check-in with what we’re feeling on every level of our being.
If you’re feeling the energy of needing to create new timelines and being in your creativity in whatever capacity comes to you, you’re so not alone and the restlessness is actually there to serve you. It would be hard to not feel restless right now and it may come in waves for you, as it seems to be doing for me. We can all rest assured though, that we ARE being moved to something new that we are co-creating constantly, consciously and unconsciously, and this is becoming revealed to us more and more in each moment we say ‘yes’ and claim the next step.
***
Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess. Visitsoulfullheartwayoflife.comfor more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.
With all the current energies coming in and sending our emotional and spiritual bodies into psychic turbulence, there is a real need and desire to find a way to deal with and comprehend it all. That feels like a big distinction to me. To ‘deal with’ or to ‘comprehend’. I remember when I was feeling so much emoto-spiritual pain years ago all a part of me really wanted was to find a way to feel better. Whatever it took. Looking for band-aids. But when there is a hemorrhaging going on at the core, a band-aid doesn’t help in the long term.
There are so many ways that we can manage our internal earthquakes. I don’t judge them one way or the other. It is what we are using them for that is where we get our power and ‘biggest bang for our buck’ so to speak. This is where we move from dealing to comprehending. Where we really want to get to a root of understanding and feeling what and who we are BOTH as emotive and spiritual beings.
This a new frontier of our evolution. Not just to fix ourselves to feel better, to alleviate pain, but to actually go IN to the pain. To navigate the murky, yet beautiful waters of our deeper woundings. This is not just therapeutic work! It is not meant to alleviate, but illuminate and generate a new power structure withIN you. Not just be a victim looking for solutions, but a fully empowered being that is looking for conscious sovereignty. One who is seeking to unravel a mystery to integrate the gifts that are earned through the sometimes difficult to feel world of exploring the shadow.
It is through the power of your own authority and the integrity of another’s experience in this journey that a co-creation can arise that brings both into a trust ground that actually brings the kinds of healing your soul is actually calling for. The kinds of changes that are needed for real growth and sustained goodness rooted in the soil of your shadow. By feeling the part of you that is protective of your goodies is the key to the further ground of this ever deepening awakening.
We have all been through our own crucibles and difficult choice points. We have discovered new vistas inside of ourselves that want to be shared with others and the world. It is more than just feeling good, it is feeling alive and aware of the vast potential within us that is in ever growing curiosity and expansion. I feel the amazing growth and awarenesses that have occurred in those that have been in the process of real Self discovery. I am here to serve that as I continue to be that for myself and my own growth. It is an open invitation to understand and become more than you ever felt possible.
It is love seeking itself through you and it just needs some help to get to where it wants to be felt, even when it might hurt like hell. You have someone there to be there with you through it all.
Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual teacher, men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life. Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.
Sometimes I share about current energies and it is a download from my higher self/angelic aspects/Divine Source that describes more of a collective experience. I am more like a NOW caster, sharing what MAY be happening for many souls on the ascension and awakening path at the emotional body, soul, and physical levels. With these messages, it is not always personally happening for me as I may have cleared those aspects in my Metasoul field already or healed it in my emotional body. It’s not that I am ‘done’ with healing, it’s just that I am in a different phase perhaps having been on this path for awhile and starting ‘ahead of the curve’ in some cases, signing up to be an early adopter.
Yet, THIS phase of where the energy seems to be bringing many of us, I AM also strongly feeling and experiencing myself. I spent yesterday in space holding for myself and some healing and BEing with one of my core wounds that I haven’t felt triggered in awhile yet life set up the perfect storm of situations for it to come up. I didn’t come to our group call yesterday to BE with me and the Metasoul aspect that seemed most connected to this wounding, Mareeka, who is an Atlantian aspect. Her Atlantis timeline and my current one are bleeding through to each other in ways that I have not experienced before (another aspect of what these energies are offering us.) So, the core wounding for me in my emotional body AND as a Metasoul theme for me is around ‘rejected daugher’ or ‘unloved daughter’ for which my soul gave me plenty of opportunities to feel this life…I have been ‘working’ this one for many years in many layers and ways and I was grateful to be able to move another piece of it yesterday.
Through my personal experience and what I’m witnessing in others, I feel THIS is a phase of going into these wounds in a more ‘real’ way than many souls may have before. I offer in the video below about how these high frequencies of photonic light, intense cosmic activities, and PURE love waves are pushing up woundings in our emotional bodies and Metasouls to be felt, healed, and LOVED and how to BE with all this through parts work.
This process is continuing and seems to be accelerating. MUCHO accelerating. CORE wounds are different than energy tones and that we might identify as emotional reactions or emotional moods. I believe they exist in our emotional bodies and our individual, personal Metasouls yet, also, in the collective emotional body and Metasouls.
CORE wounds run DEEP…..very deep. In my experience, they cannot really be made into a part or subpersonality as we do with other frequencies such as depression, rage, anxiety, control, etc. They are visceral, without language, they ooze OUT and WITH the frequencies for which they have been formed. They are beyond the mind, cannot be talk therapied or hypnotized or cleared through energy sessions (although these things can help.) The main way to heal them seems to be the continual connection to the outer and downstream expression of them, which is the persona aspects such as the Inner Child, Inner Protector, Inner Punisher, Inner Teenager, 3D Self, Inner Matriarch/Patriarch, etc.
It is connecting with these persona aspects and getting separation between them and YOU (your soul self, authentic self, higher self coming into body) through verbal dialogue, written journaling, creative visualization that then clears enough ‘out of the way’ for the CORE wounding to come up. This is the process SoulFullHeart facilitators bridge to you during sessions and the ‘work’ you do on your own as differentiation only happens INside you and not through others, although a guide through this murky and sometimes difficult terrain, who is going through it themselves, can be critical.
As this separation happens from these persona aspects…..THEN you can begin to feel the CORE wounds that lie beneath. Deep pools of oozing CORE unworthiness, disconnect, abandonment. These words don’t really suffice as descriptions, yet they are the closest that we have. When these CORE wounds finally come up after much self love holding space AND differentiation/negotiation with the persona parts, there isn’t much that can be DONE but to feel and BE with it. There may be stories and scenes associated with these CORE wounds coming up but, often, there is not. There may be connections to this life, childhood experiences with birth family and especially parents, but this often the surface stuff.
The deep dive into this CORE wounding is what we seem to be supported to GO INTO with these high frequencies of loving light. With a more palatable sense of our ethereal guides/aspects, we are able to feel more safety to go there then we have before. It was easier to be distracted before by the ‘surface stuff’ of reactions and triggers and projections. Still, many souls are being distracted by these things and NOT going deeper to feel how this lives inside of their emotional bodies. Yet, for those who are open to going within, THIS seems to be the time and phase to do so and there are MANY rewards for doing so, the biggest one being the OPENING of your upper heart to receive and give love with self and others.
I feel that these CORE wounds can be bypassed and often ARE by many, even those who are teachers and WAYshowers. And, that’s ok, in a way, because there is still service of love coming through the parts of them that are ‘in charge’ of the BEing and aren’t ready or wanting to go there yet. I’m just here to bring and offer a bridge through SoulFullHeart to these deeper spaces and especially to and with those souls that FEEL there are woundings in them that they want to FINALLY feel and heal in their emotional bodies and Metasouls and want to offer this healing to others too. The feeling is usually that a ‘ceiling’ of some kind has been reached on awakening and especially related to the emotional body.
ALL this talk of CORE wounds does not mean that we are broken or need fixing. We HAVE wounds, yet we are NOT actually our woundings. It can SEEM that way when they remain hidden away, yet exist as an underground operating energy in so many areas of life, impacting so many areas of our lives. Our Infinite Love essence can illuminate and hold these woundings and invite them to integrate and into the light of Love that we ARE!
Yesterday I began painting for the first time in a couple of months. Since I was a young boy, visual art in the form of drawing, coloring, and painting has always been a source of pleasure and expression for me. It has also been a source of suffering by way of inner criticism and perfectionism. So much desire to create beauty for the eyes and heart to take in and be moved by. I feel a soul passion when I start to create and a plethora of reaction that offer me doorways into my wounding. So it feels like a romance in a way with a ton of grist and possibility.
When I am in the “zone”, time disappears. I am in flow and it feels like my essence is coming out to play. After being in that space, I could feel a reaction to being “outside” of it. Like that feeling went away and I couldn’t get it back. I lost the mojo and the only way to get it back was to start painting again. I can feel that like a drug reaction. I began to feel how a part of me was relating to the experience and not the “whole” me. The Gabriel that relates to the act of painting as a part of a larger “painting” that is being created by my Higher Self in all moments of each “day”.
We are Creators. We are Artists of exquisite talent and power…regardless of what we consider to be artistic. Right now I am creating. My words are manifesting a vibration of energy that is being sent out into the cosmic canvass. They may land in someone or not. They my have impact or disinterest. But either way I am creating something in this moment. I am feeling myself as I type and that is altering my experience of who I am. I am feeling a different relationship to my world in the moment. Something will reflect back to me my energy and I will get to feel that and be changed again.
There are times when a brush stroke will land away from an intended space and the order of what a part of me was expecting just became disorder. It just got messy and something comes up for me to feel. I can see it as a mistake or as something to learn from and see it is meant to stay a part of the creation. Maybe I am offered a new vision, and new pathway to create something totally different and unexpected. Something I just couldn’t see or feel beforehand. My consciousness just shifted and I grew from it.
In this awareness, I feel I have a choice. A choice to be in my reaction and let it take me where I need to go even if it is messy, or I can hold and feel what part of me is energizing this emotion and see what it is want to message to me. Neither which is wrong. Both are creating and informing. There are no mistakes in art as there are none in growth.
So let that brush go! Let it follow your intuitive heart. Make lines and splashes. Realize that you are the one that is in your full power of choice. If your tapestry feels like it is in disarray, there is a part of you that is creating that to get your attention. It is responding to the chaos within. If you are wanting more, see that more and feel your way through the perceptions that can’t let in that more. To be great creators means we take on great responsibility for what we create. It is time for us to paint a new picture of what we feel is possible and turn it into probable and let it become likely until it is definitely.
Create a bigger and grander picture for yourself that goes beyond what parts of you have been conditioned to believe and expect. This is done through being with and feeling the parts of you that have been capped due to many personal experiences and collective memes. We are powerful individually, but exponentially so collectively. Let us consciously create a new world together full of magic and color!
If you are curious to be a part of a creative healing community that is committed to letting in all that we can infinitely be, please join us on our next group call this Saturday at 11:11 CST. You can go to http://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/groupcalls for more information.
Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual teacher, men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life. Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.
This week’s Museletter is busting at the seems from the love that wants to make its way to your heart! The featured article by Jelelle Awen digest the recent crop circle creation in Cley Hill, England. She takes the meaning in through the SoulFullHeart perspective and applies it to our own personal and collective disclosures of deep healing. We are all One, and as we each make our own personal journeys we are thereby effecting the greater whole. The graphic representation shows us that we are all connected in an infinite world and we are being supported by the various beings that have a deep love for us and our ascension.
Included is more information about our call this Saturday at 11:11 CST on Zoom. We will be discussing the 7 Key areas of life that we focus on in SoulFullHeart and how they are experienced in the 3rd, 4th, and 5th dimensions. If you cannot make this one, more info about future calls is included.
This week we had a huge output of writing and a lot to digest as a community and personally. A lot is moving and shifting in our world and that can bring up many reactions, both of joy and not so joyous. It is what gives us the experience to learn and grow from that we then share with you from our open hearts.
There is also a new energy update from Jelelle about how the incoming codes are creating compression points inside of us that are needing to be held and felt to release and integrate into new layers of consciousness.
So from all of us at SoulFullHeart we offer you another week’s worth of our passion and purpose, sprinkled with a ton of love. Thank you so much for taking this is in each week. If you feel that what we are offering has been giving you much reflection and guidance, we would love to feel your gratitude through a Love Donation through our website or through our Patreon page where you can even offer a monthly contribution.
Have a great weekend and may love continue to work its way into your world!
Many worlds you live in and walk in and BE in. Many versions of you show up for each of these worlds. There are the masks to slip on and wear as needed….each ‘world’ requiring something different in energy, tone, response. You ‘put it on’, you wear it even as it wearies you more and more to be worn like this. You are like a quick change artist, perhaps shifting without consciousness into new OUTfits many times a day.
All these different worlds leave you stretching over the gaps between who you really ARE and what they EXPECT you to be. The formfitting happens from parts of you that know so well how to do this and have become experts at conforming in this way. Part of you has become a camouflage creature, able to become just like ANY environment that you are in. You can become the color of the social scenery around you, blend right in. This was the order of the day to survive; this is 3D life that requires a heightened sense of self preservation that is about NOT being yourself, yet about being like EVERYONE else.
You start to wake up from your sleep walk. You start to SEE through each of these worlds. You visit the sets and stages. You begin to recognize the props and costumes that you are required to wear. You feel where continual suffering is the badge of entry in and the energy needed to remain. You see the others that were once close to you start to fade from your interest as they stay invested in these worlds and you begin to pull out. They may grab at you and you may go back, in a push-pull and mixed feelings conflictual dance with many things learned on both sides.
Sometimes, you feel like a ghost walking once familiar and comforting hallways that can no longer provide you a place to BE in solid form. Sometimes, you feel like a bull dozer, purposely collapsing these worlds and your place in them….clearing the way for the NEW. Sometimes you are a phoenix…rising from the ashes of all this fiery wreckage to BE reborn without constraints or limits. Sometimes you are a little child, just sobbing in the corner as you wait for a parent to take your hand and show you the way home.
There are no straight lines to follow or linear directional paths to navigate this shifting and sorting out of your worlds. Increasing LOVE for yourself and with others and with the Divine provides heartlines that you can use to navigate in the lost moments. The heartlines disappear at times too, as they are meant to as these are the moments where you inner strength truly grows.
You are free falling into the abyss of lost self identity as the roles fall away, along with the attachments and the rules and expectations too. Yet you begin to trust more and more that you will land on the soft soil of your own soul’s kNOWing and into the arms of the Divine. You begin to find your home. You more often return to love as THIS is the world that offers the most nourishment. And, you start to remember how always will you return, eventually, to the love that you actually ARE!
Divine Self Embodiment Blog (Formerly SoulFullHeart) 