These high light energies in March and extending into April are recoding and rewiring us, our emotional bodies, our soul consciousness, the every living cell of our bodies….so much ACTivation in these frequencies to bring us up to a new consciousness level in everyday living experience! The INtegration of these activations is such an important phase of letting in, receiving, and allowing.
In our Unity Meditation call on Wednesday, Raphael and I offered teachings and perspective around integration and the CHOICE that this is to let in these codes/activations/energies/upgrading. We talked about the part of us, the Inner Protector, that can be resistant and fearful to letting them in and create blocks that limit, divert, keep you in suffering loops, etc. Read more here about parts and Metasoul aspects: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/parts
Then, we offered a YINtastic guided meditation that brought in frequencies of Divine Sophia, Mother Mary, and Gaia to ease you into a letting in place, to connect you with the codes that are just waiting for you in your soul field, and to begin bridging to your Inner Protector to allow more receptivity. It was difficult to stay awake for us during the meditation and it seemed that most on the call fell asleep or got VERY peaceful letting in the energies.
One beautiful soul who attended the call commented to us afterwards, “I feel this deep space in SoulFullHeart groups where everybody’s higher selves and divine parts are sitting in the room making a huge “space” for loving supportive energies to come through everyone… It’s like having the “best of” everyone’s gifts. Deepest gratitude again for what everyone showed up with. Raphael and Jelelle, you have never felt like such a dynamic duo in tone of voice and guidance and balanced love transmission in the meditation.”
It did feel like a beautiful transmission frequency of feminine balanced with masculine inviting us to let IN. The recording is below of the teachings and guided meditation. If you’d like to join us live for the next one for free on Saturday, April 14th, please go here for more information on how to register on Eventbrite: https://www.facebook.com/events/562611244093274/
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Jelelle Awen is Co-creator/Facilitator/Teacher of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. She is a Soul Scribe and author of four books about Ascension, awakening, spirituality, and emotional body healing. Jelelle offers a 90 minute one on one bridging session with her over zoom for $55 USD min. donation…more information here.Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about a FREE intro, our NEW SoulFullHeart process programs, group calls, videos, etc. Visit our donations page to offer a monthly or one time money donation to support our offerings.
Invitation From Our Higher Self and The Divine As We Awaken:
To find the light in the darkest corners of the self….to trust that light MUST be in there somewhere even when the absence of it seems so real.
To bring hope to the cries of despair….to trust that the feelings of ‘this pain is never going to end’ can be answered with love.
To hold onto the bigger picture of ongoing Awakening……to understand that the personal Dark Nights and the collective Hell spaces are temporary, necessary phases of the process.
To connect with the Divine holding and purpose in it all…..to surrender control, attachment, and knowing of outcomes with trust that it is ALL coming from love.
To feel with deep compassion all that exists INside of you…..to not cast away or out, or see as ‘evil’ what only needs love and forgiveness to return to its essence of love.
To remember that you are MUCH bigger than the human body….to merge with expansive, galactic consciousness states that activate your multidimensional access.
To tap into an energy of co-creation and collaboration….to recognize that you are not a victim to your journey, the Divine, or to anyone else.
To honor your personal experience as it aligns and defines the collective one……to experience Unity Consciousness within the soul spark of your individuality.
Ultimately and inevitability……to BEcome and serve love in sacred human form.
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I feel MUCH love and support for you and me and our BRAVE choices to respond to this invitation with an ever evolving, yet consistently arising ‘YES!’
Jelelle Awen is Co-creator/Facilitator/Teacher of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. She is a Soul Scribe and author of three books about Ascension, awakening, and emotional body healing. Jelelle offers a 90 minute one on one bridging session with her over zoom for $55 USD min. donation…more information here.Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about our NEW SoulFullHeart process programs, group calls, videos, etc. Visit our donations page to offer a monthly or one time money donation to support our offerings.
What was once lonely….what was once isolated…..what was once feeling abandoned feeling inside of you finds communion again in resonant hearts and souls. You start drawing these souls as you awaken, as your Higher Self frequencies start coming into your consciousness, as you remember who and what you really ARE. As you activate more of your Unity consciousness from within and experience it with others.
These are resonant others that don’t feel so separate, yet more like BELONG with you somehow. They feel like fingers from the same hand as you. Pages from the same book. Rays from the same rainbow. Tones from the same song. They just ‘get you’ without being told much or offered explanations or needing justifications.
Even the conflicts feel like a sorting out in order to go back in, in order to find even MORE connection and relational ground together. The ceiling of good will doesn’t collapse during these probably rare disagreements…no insults, nothing said that leaves a permanent mark, no purposefully harmful attacks. Hurting in this way feels like hurting yourself.
Yet, you are able to be REAL with each other about what you are feeling. There isn’t any emotional hiding, or at least, not for long. You are transparent with each other because you feel soul safe together…..connected in many timeline realities through Metasoul aspects bonds that unify rather than divide.
Your tribe. Your soul family. Your counterpart sacred union mate. Your common vibrations are already in the blueprint of your DNA. Waiting for activation to move into synchronization. Waiting to find each other again. Waiting to experience reunion again.
To clear out room in your life to experience these soul family reunions is to say NO to what ISN’T this frequency. To let go of relationships that are less than this and based in old agreements of who you used to be rather than who you are becoming. To create love within your inner family and create a soul tribe feeling inside in order to draw it on the outside.
I am SO blessed to experience these kinds of soul family and sacred union mate connections on a daily basis and for several years now. This is not just being lucky though…I have drawn this to myself as I have made choices in relationships that reflect and deepen this frequency. I have let go of relationships that were less than this, as truly painful as that was at times. I have focused on my inner family and inner soul tribe above ALL too…and this has drawn this experience on the outside.
These soul family reunions are happening more and more in these times of accelerated and powerful ascension energies. The synchs and connections are moving into place as those with common soul missions find each other and move into service of love energies together. THIS coming together in bigness after so long being conditioned to be alone and to settle and to shrink in our relationships is a BIG piece of how New Golden Earth Gaia reality is coming into BEing in the Now. We NEED each other in order to create this reality together!!
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Is it time to move out of your lone wolf phase? Join us tomorrow for an experience of soul family, community, sharing, and UNITY of resonant values and tones during our FREE Unity Meditation Activation call on April 4th (4:4!) at 2:00pm CDT. The energies in our last one on the Equinox in March were quite powerful and unifying!!
RSVP on Eventbrite and you will be sent the Zoom Link automatically:https://www.eventbrite.com/…/april-4th-new-earth-now…
– PM us on Facebook at SoulFullHeart Way Of Life’s page or Raphael Awen, Jelelle Awen, Kalayna Colibri, or Gabriel Heartman
– Email us at soulfullhearts@gmail.com. We will send you the zoom link when we get your email.
We also offer group sessions and online group community connection along with individual sessions as part of our DEEP program offering! More info here: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions
Jelelle Awen is Co-creator/Facilitator/Teacher of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. She is a Soul Scribe and author of three books about Ascension, awakening, and emotional body healing. Jelelle offers a 90 minute one on one bridging session with her over zoom for $55 USD min. donation…more information here.Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about our NEW SoulFullHeart process programs, group calls, videos, etc. Visit our donations page to offer a monthly or one time money donation to support our offerings.
The activation possibilities of your next level came in the last two weeks with the intense SOULar frequency geomagnetic storms (shifting YOUR magnetics and Gaia’s too) plus the winds blowing higher frequency SOULar light waves into your atmosphere. This was the marching quality of March…..marching in, blowing in, storming in just HUGE sometimes activations of your next level possibilities along with revelation of where parts of you may still have caps, stuck places, and resistances to these activations.
Following all this SOULar activity, you are receiving the illuminating lunar light of the FOURTH full moon since January. She is shining to allow for INtegration of all these activations. She is shining to hold space for the continual death and rebirth process that is Ascension. She is shining to provide a mirror for you to SEE what is next in both highest timeline possibility and what still needs addressing in order to keep BEcoming it. She is bringing in strong frequencies of compassion to model how to mother yourself and whatever comes up.
Your ‘next level’ is probably coming into your awareness now, taking center stage in your experience, bringing in another phase of Dark Nights and/or profound awakenings. The next level may be BEyond what you have known and experienced before, in many ways. There are the experiences of 5D Golden Earth consciousness as you can BE this more in your daily life. There is your galactic self connection reunion with Star Family and greater clarification of your soul mission and purpose for being here. There is a sense of BEing Divine Bliss and Oneness.
There are, too, the experiences of personal hells that Metasoul aspects (other timeline aspects from your same Higher Self Soul Source) are living out. There are revelations of unhealed inner polarities between parts of you that cause loops of pain and suffering within yourself and with others. There are more extreme ascension body experiences that call for your attention and focus. There is the falling away of relationships and geographies and careers/means of livelihood and the acute pain of loss and mourning.
These experiences may go up and down for you….sometimes even in the same hour or day! There is no longer the ‘this is my dark night phase’ declarations as the moment becomes less definable and just calls to be experienced beyond the mind’s labeling of it. There is no ‘good’ or ‘bad’ to these experiences. No ‘better’ or ‘worse.’ You can trust that ALL these phases are necessary for your process. The seemingly ‘higher’ ones water with love your capacity to hold space for the more difficult ones. The higher ones often push up the oil of the shadow and the pain that can no longer find a resonant frequency in your BEing.
As you accept and love it all, you find that you are just going through the fear places in order to open up MORE love. There is no ‘evil’ or truly dark here either as you discover that all these aspects and parts of you JUST want forgiveness, understanding, and compassion. These fear-based energies, these painful symptoms, these completions and conflicts, these Dark Nights, these dark timelines, all have ‘good’ reason for being there until they can experience new possibilities and start to let go back into love.
You can discover ‘implants’ and ‘entities’ and love them too, understanding that they are all part of you and have been a necessary aspect of your journey. The body symptoms that can be painful and difficult are less resisted then, as they are just wanting to be discovered in their root cause and loved into health and vitality. The revelations and awakenings of these things are just responses to the next level that your Higher Self and the Divine are inviting you to go into now.
The next level is the ongoing embodiment of your Service Of Love Self expressing AS this in more and more moments. Your Service of Love Self comes from an abundant flow of self worth and self love that allows for a healthy overflow to others. This next level is no longer service from self sacrifice. Or service from fear of persecution. Or service from a ‘giving to get’ place. Or service from gratification of ego/self image.
Your ‘next level’ wants to INtegrate now. You cannot move to your next level, BEcome your next level, until the old has been cleared out. The old is what used to be enough, what used to provide nourishment, what used to work and no longer does.
This next level is ultimately, too, about Service of Love to and with yourself and ALL aspects that need you. The next level is activating and integrating….inviting you to BEcome in deeper ways FOR yourself the Infinite Love that you ARE.
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We provide support for the arising/rememberance of your Service Of Love self and a bridge for your connection to all aspects of yourself (led by you) through individual and group sessions. More info here: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions
Jelelle Awen is Co-creator/Facilitator/Teacher of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. She is a Soul Scribe and author of three books about Ascension, awakening, and emotional body healing. Jelelle offers a 90 minute one on one bridging session with her over zoom for $55 USD min. donation…more information here.Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about our NEW SoulFullHeart process programs, group calls, videos, etc. Visit our donations page to offer a monthly or one time money donation to support our offerings.
The pain comes from what has been resisted inside of you rather than embraced. The suffering comes from continual loops that pit one energy inside of you against another one. Resistance is feeling anything as ‘evil’ or ‘dark’ or ‘negative’ inside. Resistance is judging without love your body, your behaviors, your choices, your experiences.
Resistance is labeling things as ‘negative entities that attack you’ and then going to battle with them or to war with them (even with ‘light’) or trying to cast them out. Such a long legacy of this approach with roots in exorcisms, some Shamanism that now takes the form in New Age spirituality as ‘implant removals’. This feels like fear trying to fight fear with more fear. This only seems to produce MORE fear inside of you and in response to the outside world.
To embrace rather than resist is to BEcome curious, to BEcome loving, to BEcome your own ambassador to ALL the energies inside of you. To see all of what has felt like outside that is ‘doing something bad to you’ as actually coming from INside and that it has been necessary to be there. Each of these energies has stories to tell you, pieces of YOUR puzzle to offer you. While you resist them, while you label them as bad or wrong, while you disown or reject them, while you hold tension and panic in your body, while you respond in flight or fight…..you cannot create and hold the loving space to find out and discover what they are here to offer you. You cannot experience the GIFTS that these energies actually have to offer you.
These energies arise from often very intense unhealed polarities from one part of you to another; a dominating masculine and a repressed feminine; a dominating matriarch/inner mother and a repressed sensitive masculine; an inner mother/matriarch or inner father/patriarch and a very sensitive yet rebellious inner teenager. One of the usual dynamics is a rather ruthless feeling Punisher part of you and the corresponding shame/unworthiness that comes up in the inner child and inner Teenager in response to it. Another polarization can be the 3D Self parts that are trying so hard to remain anchored into 3D to be ‘safe’ there and the 4D awakening parts and Metasoul aspects that just want to ascend and yet don’t know how to be a bridge. Aspects from other timelines/lifetimes can be hugely polarized against your reality and everyday ‘modern’ living. More about parts and Metasoul aspects here: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/parts
To embrace rather than resist is to BEcome a bridge to all of these polarities. To BE in the middle of them with love, to recognize where the source of them comes from, and to provide love to BOTH sides without actually taking sides. This ambassador YOU is watered by the Divine, who never takes sides, who never sees anything or any BEing or any energy as ‘evil’ or ‘truly negative.’
All energies serve a purpose in their creation…..until they are ready to move back into love again for which they are being constantly invited by the Divine to do so.
This ambassador YOU is your Divine Self, your Higher Self coming into your body. Your Divine Self can offer a brand NEW reality of acceptance and forgiveness to ALL dynamics and polarities and inner relationships that it finds and discovers. Your Divine Self feels when someone else’s unhealed polarities and fear are being projected onto you. When a healer or teacher has not undergone the deep dive into their emotional body and soul field to heal and feel their own polarities, it is difficult for them to offer you a truly uncharged and loving energy in response to yours. Their unhealed fear inside projects onto you and triggers the parts of you that are also in fear. I have seen trauma created from this in seekers and in teachers/healers that are innocent in one way in perpetuating this unfelt cycle with each other.
I know this sounds simple in some ways. Embrace rather than resist. Yet, what is challenging about this is that we haven’t been given the language to describe these dynamics. We haven’t been given a model for how to BE this way with ourselves and ALL parts of ourselves. Instead, we have been fed, bred, and served clashing polarities in our governments, in our parents and families relationships with each other and with us, in our religious and spiritual groups, in our professional and cultural societies. This has been 3D going into 4D, to experience this clash of separation, isolation, competition, contention, insecurity, scarcity, distrust, and lack of surrender and to accept it as ‘normal’ and even necessary.
ALL of us have received this conditioning as we have chosen to be here during this phase of Ascension with Gaia. To battle and to fight is ingrained in our Metasouls, where multiple and many timelines are playing out these very inner polarities expressing on the outside. To pick up the sword, to lash out in words, to take sides….this has been our dominant experience in 3D and even going into 4D as well.
You have probably put down the swords that parts of you used to take up towards others. You probably have forgiven others in a deeply genuine way.
Yet, now, is the turning inward and offering to yourself and ALL parts of you what you have extended to everyone else. Now is self forgiveness and self compassion that FLOODS all parts of you with love that transmutes, that transforms, that brings HOPE and infinite possibilities to every cell in your BEing and every remaining trauma and pain in your emotional body. Now is to BEcome your own love ambassador and bring diplomacy and peace to any warring factions that remain inside your BEing.
Now is to embrace rather than resist….inviting it all by love and with love to BEcome love once again.
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We provide support for the arising/rememberance of your ambassador self and a bridge for your connection to all aspects of yourself (led by you) through sessions. More info here: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions
Jelelle Awen is Co-creator/Facilitator/Teacher of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. She is a Soul Scribe and author of three books about Ascension, awakening, and emotional body healing. Jelelle offers a 90 minute one on one bridging session with her over zoom for $55 USD min. donation…more information here.Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about our NEW SoulFullHeart process programs, group calls, videos, etc. Visit our donations page to offer a monthly or one time money donation to support our offerings.
Jelelle is sharing today as a FREE GIFT PDF her spiritual memoir called Under The Bloated Banyan: My Journey From Awakening To Disillusionment Within a High-Demand Spiritual Group.
“Banyan covers a six year span of time starting in December 2003 where I began my awakening journey through parts work process in earnest. It also shares my courtship and dating and eventual marriage with Raphael after we both left the group together in 2008. None of my soul family friends and teacher would talk with me after this time and I also gave up my livelihood as a facilitator of the work. This was such a bittersweet time. Falling in love while it felt like so much of my life and who I felt that I was connected to the group falling apart. I learned so much during and after this time about myself, parts of me, my Metasoul legacy, and what kind of leader/teacher/healer I wanted to be and NOT be.
The content in Banyan (I first published it for a couple of years in 2013) was once controversial and very vulnerable for parts of me to share this story as many people still in the group (and once my beloved soul family) judged and criticized me for sharing it. Now, the group has been dissolved for a few years, so there is less charged sense about sharing it again. This phase of my journey now feels like a movie, something that happened to someone else in some ways, an alternative timeline. I can feel the parts of me that have since healed from being so self conscious, anxious, drawn to dysfunctional and even abusive relationships. Yet, still, it lives in my heart as very real and, of course, my sacred union connection ground with Raphael began in these soils.
It feels timely to share this story too as the collective moves from spiritual/religious codependency models such as the guru-devotee to the sovereign “I” experiencing Unity Consciousness within a community with healthy leadership. I think you will find this story interesting if you have been curious about what it is like to be in an intense high-demand group and esp. If you have drawn this experience yourself this life or just are curious to feel and know more about my personal journey. Plus, ultimately, this is an inspiring story about love and how it prevails and is often revealed during the most dark and difficult circumstances!”
You can purchase this book in e-book and print editions too, as well as her other three books here: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/books
Jelelle Awen is Co-creator/Facilitator/Teacher of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. She is a Soul Scribe and author of three books about Ascension, awakening, and emotional body healing. Jelelle offers a 90 minute one on one bridging session with her over zoom for $55 USD min. donation…more information here.Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about our NEW SoulFullHeart process programs, group calls, videos, etc. Visit our donations page to offer a monthly or one time money donation to support our offerings.
This is the beautiful anniversary video that Gabriel Heartman made for us!
By Jelelle ~
Nine years ago, I joined my intention in marriage with Raphael’s….in the moment and for all moments that followed that would be in mutual desire and resonance. On some level, it all felt like a whirlwind….we started dating in July and were married by March (after knowing each other for a couple of years). We had already moved through two major geography changes finally just getting settled in Canada when we married. We also went through the collapse of our whole social and spiritual world by leaving (being asked to leave, told to leave or not be together because we were deemed to ‘codependent’ although only together three weeks!) the spiritual group we had both been part of for a few years.
I am sharing today on March 28th as a FREE PDF, on the anniversary of our wedding, the memoir I wrote of the six year period that includes my awakenings and disillusionments within the spiritual group, first dating and falling in love with Raphael, AND the recovery period after leaving the group together. Most of the writing is from actual journals that I kept during that time! It is called Under The Bloated Banyan and you can receive it by emailing us at soulfullhearts@gmail.com.
Banyan shares the story of our courtship, which was the highest highs of desire moving through, my body calibrating to what it feels like to REALLY be wanted by a man and my heart letting in what it feels like to REALLY be cherished by a man. AS I was also going through a Dark Night of letting go of ALL the souls and my previously beloved spiritual teacher that I had been close to for more than five years in the group. Ups and downs, bittersweet, and yet, always was Raphael there for me, over and over, in complete devotion and utter eagerness to be together.
Those ups and downs have settled over the years as Raphael and I found our way together through many changes and transitions yet, always, arising our way through it in union. We took our wedding rings off two years ago, feeling like it had been other parts of us (going by our birth names Wayne and Jillian) who had exchanged those rings even as the core of us was there. We felt so different after years of parts work, being in the crucible of sacred union together that had burnt away so many layers, letting go of incomes and geographies and just about everything there was to let go of other than each other.
We even felt that the significance of this day was a memory from the past and we were arising in the NOW together. Yet, I do feel in my heart a tenderness for this day, this anniversary, and where we were at that time and who we have been through the years and who we are arising into now as Raphael and Jelelle.
Our usness keeps expanding as we do and keeps vibrating at a higher frequency at all levels and in all areas – sexually, emotionally, spiritually. We are more and more connecting other lifetimes together (energizing NOW) such as in Atlantis, Lemuria, and also our star BEing aspects from other galaxies. Very little conflict between us any more and when it happens it has a Metasoul/other lifetime root cause, fewer words needed, more soul connection deepening and collaboration in our service of love together purpose through SoulFullHeart…
I feel we are Counterpart soul mates to each other, which I prefer to the twin flame paradigm. Counterpart soul mates share many pair bondings with each other in many timelines together, usually with one partner choosing female and one choosing male most often. This pairing is agreed to by the Higher Selves to heal karma together, to experience sacred union together, to become One yet not the same together.
I can feel how our relationship could feel like a fantasy or idealized, yet it is not, it IS very real. We have had to go through the dark together to illuminate the light and the love yet that was always there. We have had to say, ‘no’ to anything that was less than this love or didn’t serve it. We have had to commit to awakening and to our own personal process OVER everything else, including the relationship.The goodness overflow in a relationship can only deepen and grow if the partners are committed to their OWN growth first.
So I celebrate a love today that I am SO BLESSED to experience and have been so blessed to experience for these 9.5 years…..thank you Raphael…..my king, my BEloved, my co-creator, my love for sharing this life of serving love together and ALL of the phases and spaces our love has taken us!
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By Raphael –
I’ve been married to Jelelle Awen for nine years today!
The marriage itself in 2009 was a tiny affair with about a dozen people including the officiant inside of a studio apartment and was necessitated by the need to make Jelelle a legal resident in my Canada ASAP. A month earlier, I had just gotten banned at the US border for hiding that we were engaged. With Jelelle’s California now off the list, and us taking up residence in Vancouver, we feared being told by another government that we couldn’t be together. We half joked about moving to Mexico in order to be together if need be. Our hearts simply wanted to go all in.
Jelelle entered my life very unobtrusively via email one day back in 2005. She was the manager of the business coach I was doing weekly sessions with trying to get myself free of my little painting contracting business. My coach had told me his manager would be in touch to arrange a phone call as he had decided to leave the company and I would be getting reassigned to another coach. A few days later, as expected, I received an email from Jill (Jelelle’s name at the time).
You’d have thought I was a 14-year-old boy seeing a naked woman for the first time or something if you saw me that day looking at my email. It was a very strange reaction indeed that left a part of me looking at myself with a weirded out look. ‘Are you Okay?’
As my life was at some really big turning points that year, I was drawn to check into the spiritual group my coach was a part of before I lost contact with him and so, some months later, I had driven down to Oregon to attend a seminar being offered. I had forgotten about Jill until a few days before the seminar when I found an article she wrote on the groups website. ‘Well, I guess, I’ll kind of know two people at the seminar’, I thought to myself, ‘my now former coach and Jill’, his former manager who I did end up speaking with for a few minutes a few days following the ‘weirded out’ email.
Jill and I greeted one another on the first day of the seminar and acknowledged the phone call from several months earlier. She said ‘I still recall on my notes from the call I had written and circled three times “someone I can connect with” [in regards to whom I’d like as a new business coach] as you repeated that so emphatically’. That pretty much said it about me then and it still does today.
What happened next is a long and amazing story (about 286 pages worth) and you can read that for free if you’d like as Jelelle mentioned we are offering her story of our beginnings today. PM or email me your email address at soulfullhearts@gmail.com and I will send you the free PDF of Under The Bloated Banyan.
Three years after meeting Jill that first time, we finally became a couple. (I say ‘finally’ because it was my third time to bring an attraction. Life took off like a rocket, even more than it had three years prior when I left behind a stable marriage of 23 years and my Christian faith along with my entire social world as I knew it. Our much beloved spiritual group and its leader gave us an ultimatum to choose between dissolving our relationship or leave the group. It was abusive and we had the courage to admit what we’d been avoiding. It was time to go, but where? Jill and her daughter (Raianna) lived in California, and my little fine tuned livelihood was situated in Canada.
Wait, I’m telling the whole story again aren’t I? Like, I said, get the book.
What I’m really wanting to say today is something more vulnerable. I felt Jill was the biggest prize in this entire group and entering a relationship with her was so off the charts to everything I had dared imagine. Yet, I had done just that in the months prior, allowed myself to dream of a new life with the mate of my dreams before I could see her on any horizon of my life. Now, that I was in a relationship with Jill, it was a very good thing I had consciously chosen this and wanted this so deeply with everything in me, because the relationship called me to show up for what I wanted and tested everything in me. Our relationship got us kicked out of our beloved group and, then, the United States! Geographies, careers, families, all of it rumbled deeply to make room for what our souls had brought us to.
I entered a very socially secluded space in life where our relationship was not only at the center of everything, but was almost everything. The spiritual group was gone. Other than the grief of that loss to process, there was no social world we were a part of, other than Jelelle’s 15 year old daughterRaianna Shai and a few employees in my painting business, with whom we were friendly, but not friends. That in itself wouldn’t be that unusual, but what made it so bizarre was having a romance that was so utterly amazing with no place or people to digest it with or see its reflection, other than with each other. Each day seemed to take us to new places in connection, in heart, in desire, in sensuality and sexuality. This gave me the strange feeling of trusting the relationship more while also heightening the fear of losing it at the same time. The trust was more conscious I’d say and the fear more subconscious.
The one surviving piece being redeemed for us from the spiritual group we were a part of was awareness of parts of ourselves. I could see, feel and track the parts of myself and their needs in relation to all this unfolding. At times, I would go for a walk alone in nearby forest and have tears of amazement and appreciation at these amazing parts of me who could show up ongoingly for such an adventure, with so much change.
I still don’t know what I fell into. I’m still falling actually. Nine years later,…. looking for the handrails. Today, I will reach for the handrail of gratitude for the being named Jelelle this life, who I live and breathe with, where our average physical distance apart is about 11 feet.
Thank you, Jelelle, for BEing with me, with your exquisite BEing, for BEing in this adventure with me of love, of risk, of discovery and of service!
~
Photo was taken on our wedding day nine years ago in a small studio apartment in West Vancouver….Ah newlyweds, although we are STILL like this!
What an INtense couple of weeks it has been during this March Equinox 2018 passage! The sacred masculine activations through SOULar winds, geomagnetic storms, and waves have been near constant for close to two weeks. They ebbed and flowed and ‘hit’ you depending on how consciously you were meant to feel and track them. You may have become more aware during this time of how cosmic energy is not really ‘out there’, yet how much it can impact your inner cosmos. These energies are meant to catalyze and support our ongoing arising into sacred humanity. We became more attuned to how we ARE energy and everything we experience on the emotional and spiritual and physical levels is a reflection of energetic shifts and changes from both ‘outside’ and INside.
Also, linear time dissolved from our mental tracking that much more. There was often just the moment of Now with more multidimensional awareness of timelines overlapping and merging and collapsing around us. There was so often an inability to track with the mind at all and eventual surrendering to the Higher Self and our higher dimensional aspects/guides that seemed to kNOW what was going on. A trust that the whole process was being held, guided, and supported from our Higher Selves was more palpable as parts of us HAD to lean in more and let go of controlling. These activations seemed to bring in, MARCH in…. Bliss Mess experiences with ups and downs. The SOULar wind currents could take you from intense joy to acute pain to sweet surrender……all within the same day! They could offer tastes of New Gaia 5D states of self love and compassionate love for ALL sentient BEings with deeper awarenesses that we are ALL meant to come along during the Ascension process. Kundalini awakenings and dripline surges of Divine Feminine and Masculine frequencies created NEW pathways of consciousness for the inner and out experience of TRUE sacred union within the body. Clarities and callings and calls to action connected to your highest timeline manifestation here downloaded through messages, images, visions, dreams, and synchronicities. You may have experienced a deeper embodiment of your Service of Love Self/5D Self and the next choice points that lead to MORE of this BEing state.
There were the physical body reactions of muscle pains and tensions, dizziness and even vertigo, ears ringing and singing, head and neck aches, nausea and appetite shifts, sleeping pattern changes (SO sleepy and foggy sometimes) and WIDE awake too at new times. Activation of our light bodies went to a NEW place, an accelerated invitation to the densest aspect of our physical expression to keep crystallizing through detoxification and clearings on a cellular level. Previous illnesses/injuries/diseases, denser choices in food and deathstyle habits came up and out to clear the way for MORE light to come in. Your Higher Heart activation is connecting you to the cries of the world and a place where killing frequencies can no longer be digested, supported, or ignored.
Where your body stores emotional congestion and karmic wounding vibrated through to express as voices from parts of you that still hold self punishment, self consciousness, self doubt, shame, over protectiveness, and guilt. These parts of you are coming UP now to be seen, heard, and felt by you, to be offered loving self space holding. These parts of you want to transmute their energy from judgement to discernment, from self consciousness and self doubt to self acceptance, from shame to innocence, from protectiveness to guidance, from guilt to forgiveness. These fragments and pieces of your 3D Self (your Protector, your Punisher, your Inner Teenager and Child, your Inner Mother/Father) are ready to come back into wholeness with you again and find a soft place to land in your heart and soul. More about parts here: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/parts
The EQUInox energies illuminated polarization from inside of your masculine and feminine aspects. This may have showed up in clashes and sudden relationship issues with others. The standoffs and conflicts with others escalating so that you can complete, resolve, and respond with NEW frequencies of love. The Higher Heart activations make abuses unable to be accepted, both as they occur inside and with others. Even what you define as ‘abuse’ is shifting to a higher criteria for yourself and with others. Repressed sexuality based on this life abuse trauma and Metasoul/other timelines is getting your attention and healing so that you can BLOOM into your gender sexuality with maturity, with self love, and within your embodied humanity.
The necessity of connecting with and becoming conscious of your chakras in a NEW way downloaded during this passage too. Ascension Chakra Vortexes became more clear to me during this Equinox passage as the next place of expansion in our relationship with our chakra bodies to help with INtegration of these cosmic energy activations. We are being activated to have a consciousness of our chakras in a deeper way, in a less linear way, and in a more intimate way. This happens through activation of our 5D violetprint through connection with our Personal Sun Chakra Vortex, our Higher Heart Chakra Vortex, and our Gaia Chakra Vortex. This is the guided meditation that I did to offer this: https://soulfullheartblog.com/2018/03/20/activate-your-personal-sun-higher-heart-and-gaia-ascension-chakras-guided-meditation-video/
Our service of love offerings through SoulFullHeart were ignited during this time….as yours might have been too. I am now offering 1:1 bridging sessions with me over zoom for $55 USD for up to 90 minutes for men and women with more information here: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/bridging-session. We felt guided to offer more activations of Unity Consciousness through sharing our community Merkabah during a group session for members of our PREP and DEEP programs, a livestream where we responded to your questions, and a Unity Meditation call (our biggest group call yet.) We are now feeling to offer a free Unity Meditation call every ten days or so, corresponding to cosmic energy events and happenings. Our next ones are on April 4th and 14th with more information here: soulfulllheartwayoflife.com/events or https://www.facebook.com/pg/soulfullheartwayoflife/events/?ref=page_internal
The social body has been activated to move from over dependence models such as guru-devotee or overly independent such as in being a lone wolf to interdependence within conscious community. This means the continual revealing and healing of the shadow expressions of our previous cult-ural group experiences. I am re-releasing tomorrow a memoir about my Dark Night and Awakening experiences within a high-demand spiritual group and my courtship/falling in love with Raphael that led to us leaving that group. It is called Under The Bloated Banyan and we’ll be giving that book away as a FREE PDF tomorrow March 28th (which is also our ninth wedding anniversary!) with details about that coming soon. You can also purchase that book and all my books as PDFs, ebooks, and print editions here: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/books
ALL of these processes activated during the last two weeks offers a VERY palpable acceleration of Ascension that continues with this new year of 2018. These are ongoing processes, of course, with the invitation for all of us to deepen, expand, and embody continuing on into the next days, weeks, months, and years. YOU are the event you’ve been waiting for and these are the happenings both INside and outside that create our NEW world based on LOVE in this NOW.
Jelelle Awen is Co-creator/Facilitator/Teacher of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. She is a Soul Scribe and author of three books about Ascension, awakening, and emotional body healing. Jelelle offers a 90 minute one on one bridging session with her over zoom for $55 USD min. donation…more information here.Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about our NEW SoulFullHeart process programs, group calls, videos, etc. Visit our donations page to offer a monthly or one time money donation to support our offerings.
Cellular clearings going on at the physical and emotional body levels to let in these codes coming from the strong SOULar winds yesterday and today. These clearings happen in the 3D bodies of our 3D Self in the memory stored in our every living cell. The clearings act as a detoxifying process to make room for the PURE love and light to come in. The transition from dense carbon to crystalline in which our body is acting as a receiver and transmitter of light.
These clearings can show up in addition to the usual adjustments to SOULar activities, such as dizziness, shift in sleep patterns, headaches and body muscle pains, nausea. This may be happening for you if you previously engaged in toxic activities with your body such as drug and alcohol overuse, cigarette smoking, eating lots of processed foods. I feel that eating animals is another toxicity that has to be cleared from the cells as the killing and fear frequency stores there. The choice to no longer eat animals is a BIG boost in your ascension process and much more light can come in if you transition to this. I have been guided so many times in this by Star BEing/Higher Dimensional aspects and the Divine Mother that ingesting any BEing that has been killed lowers your vibrational frequency. Once parts of you let go of the ‘comfort’ that eating meat can represent, then some other parts of you (such as the Inner Child) can come in to feel how much they have actually resisted it and not liked it. Now is a wonderful time to make the transition as the high SOULar energies will support it….and there are so many amazing meat substitutes now that really taste great.
I am going through another round of cellular clearing from smoking for 15 years. Even though I have not smoked in many years, the memory of all those cigarettes is stored in my cells. I am also feeling more of the soul reasons that I smoked after a long time of feeling and healing the emotional reasons. Another layer is being pushed up to clear by these SOULar energies. Also, activity in the lungs and throat and chest is a sign of Higher Heart activation as our capacity to breathe in and out the heart cries of the world and for ourselves grows and expands.
Smoking is another activity that I’ve been guided is based in a place of unworthiness and numbing of anxiety for parts of us. It can also be connected to the Inner Punisher part and the corresponding shame that comes up. It also lowers your vibrational frequency as you are literally inhaling killing toxicities into your lungs. How could this NOT impact your frequency? Even vapors and e-cigarettes feel like they are part of the same root unworthiness. Sometimes smoking is used as a self protection to keep you ‘small’ and ‘safe’ and from going to your next level in soul bigness. Negotiating with the parts of you that need smoking and why can help a lot with quitting. This is how I was finally able to after so many years of doing it. Once I started parts work and connected with parts of me and they were getting felt by me and love from me, they didn’t look to the cigarettes for comfort anymore and were able to stop.
I feel we are being pressed by these Divine energies to choose the most self loving lifestyles that we can. This is not offered in judgement of us, yet rather in sympathy to how challenging it has been to be in such density and how we have needed these things to anchor us here. As Gaia’s frequencies become so much more porous, we get to adjust along with her and it becomes more easy to give up the denser frequency foods and habits. It becomes more appealing to eat foods with the highest light quotients, such as fruit and vegetables. To move our bodies regularly and lovingly with yoga, stretching, etc. To abstain from consuming things that are toxic and bad for us. This is a big aspect of living New Gaia/Earth Now in our everyday reality.
Be gentle with these transitions and the parts of you that may struggle with them. The chemical dependency may move out fast from your body as it does not actually want anything that isn’t healthy for it. It is the more deeply rooted emotional body attachments and conditionings and woundings that can be much more challenging for parts of you. Self loving compassion and negotiation can go in deep here. This isn’t about will power as much as it about a self lovingly led invitation to BE healthy on all levels that includes your body vessel. We offer spaceholding sessions and programs to support you in these transitions as well. More info at soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions
Be gentle, yes, with yourself and your body the next few days as it feels like these SOULar activities continue. Check in with your body to see what it is telling you that it most wants and needs that serves too your highest timeline manifestation of it becoming truly your light body vehicle. Every living cell is shifting and love makes it ALL possible!
Jelelle Awen is Co-creator/Facilitator/Teacher of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. She is a Soul Scribe and author of three books about Ascension, awakening, and emotional body healing. Jelelle offers a 90 minute one on one bridging session with her over zoom for $55 USD min. donation…more information here.Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about our NEW SoulFullHeart process programs, group calls, videos, etc. Visit our donations page to offer a monthly or one time money donation to support our offerings.
Awake since 2:00am with an alertness yet ease too. Feels as if SOULar activities are picking up again with more waves and winds coming in. Surrendering to the alertness and the change in sleep patterns and habits is a reminder that time is not actually linear and the now is asking for our presence.
All this last week I have experienced this feeling of arriving at a consistent transmission experience of being and serving love. In this place, life has rich meaning in the moment; connection with others is based in a deep trust and mutual exchange. There is no longer anxiety or self consciousness. There is not worry about the future or ruminating on the past. There is connection to the highest timeline becoming, yet that is feeling more and more inevitable. Even if I am serving as a temp bridge and mirror of someone’s higher self in the body, there is a sense of deeply seeing their bigness that is just needing more love to manifest.
Miracles fueled by Love have been happening in all my sessions and group offerings too. I feel grateful to the souls that have connected with us/me recently, asked such great questions, shared their stories, turned inward with courage. I feel so grateful to the parts connection process for this feeling sense…..it really is an amazing bridge to create true wholeness from within that can then overflow to others.
I am feeling the energies at a HIGH. To illuminate and amplify whatever is the dominant reality for you and parts of you right now that you most need to see and experience. It may be a sense of heightened pain even or struggle in order to feel the “no more” sense of it. It may be a feeling of void as you move more out of 4D death and rebirth and into upper 4d and 5D bliss and goodness. It may be the trailing edges of emotional or karmic pain that want and need your attention. It may be mess. It may be bliss.
There is so much support for the rising experience of your service of Love self….firstly and primarily to and with yourself and all the beloved aspects that need you. These ongoing love light energies show you how it feels to BEcome service of love in your unique sacred human expression of it. They also show you whatever is stuck in fear and push away and being resisted by other parts of you.
Embrace whatever comes up to be felt. You cannot do it wrong as you lead with love. You are SO loved and the reunions Of self and soul and family are going to happen more and more to deepen your rememberance of this. The time of suffering over suffering can be complete with an embodied bliss truly possible! As you are willing to go through, so you can truly come OUT into a genuine and pure experience of yourself as the embodiment of love!
New Earth is Now……MUCH Love to and with you!
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Jelelle Awen is Co-creator/Facilitator/Teacher of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. She is a Soul Scribe and author of three books about Ascension, awakening, and emotional body healing. Jelelle offers a 90 minute one on one bridging session with her over zoom for $55 USD min. donation…more information here.Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about our NEW SoulFullHeart process programs, group calls, videos, etc. Visit our donations page to offer a monthly or one time money donation to support our offerings.
Divine Self Embodiment Blog (Formerly SoulFullHeart) 