Category: MetaSoul / Other Lifetimes

Bringing Love To War/Battle Timeline Bleed-Throughs

Published on by Kasha Rosa3 Comments

By Kalayna Colibri

Yesterday was Remembrance Day here in Canada and Veteran’s Day in the USA along with being a major 11:11:11 portal day. This doesn’t strike me as an accident or coincidence as the frequencies I’ve felt coming through in especially the couple of weeks leading up to this day felt significant and important to feel into and quite charged too.

As I went inward into meditation the other day, I felt outrage in my field. I’ve had many layers of outrage to feel through in my process, which you could say is an aspect of being an ‘Indigo’, though I don’t closely identify with that myself very much anymore. I could feel the outrage coming in from some political satire I had just taken in on YouTube that was digesting the election in the US. Sometimes I take in these videos to get a sense of what’s being digested and how. I’m realizing I did this on this day because I was being guided to for a reflection of my own soul’s process and what’s moving or wants to move in the collective too, especially around fighting this or that or choosing to perpetuate the cycle of outbound outrage instead of vulnerability and heart-centered leadership. Even the comedy around politics has an outrage to it and not a lot of/any vulnerability or genuine desire for change, for if the cycle changed, so would the comedy… so would the reason to put someone else down when you yourself are feeling put down. I’ll admit that I’ve enjoyed taking in this sort of humor, but less and less so as I’ve healed more and more of the outrage inside of my soul.

I felt what we call an ‘overlay’ of many Metasoul timelines coming through at once during these most recent political events. I felt many timelines where soul aspects are waging and raging in war and battle scenarios is still alive and well. I felt my own Suffragette timeline coming through to help show me how this is a layer going on for many women and men too right now. All timelines from all wars and political movements were coming through as the veil leading up to Nov 11 became thinner and thinner. It’s not a ‘bad’ or negative thing that all of this was and still is coming through. The purpose for this to come forward is for it to be felt and brought to a new layer of inner resolution and reconciliation and into the NEW timeline of something different.

As with any timeline bleed-through with any theme that’s alive for our souls such as persecution, tyrannical leadership, etc. these timelines that have been peaking and sometimes full-on bursting through the veils have been asking for our inner heart leadership to lead something different from within. We’re being asked and invited to start feeling how it can be different going forward and how we can actually work to heal these painful timelines that still affect us today.

If you have the space and especially if you’ve been feeling particularly charged during recent political and personal events, I invite you to pause and feel it, seeing if there is a specific soul aspect or timeline that wants and needs your love and attention around this. The story, partly your soul’s story, wants to be seen and felt and brought to a new place. The outrage you may have been experiencing can only lead to more outrage in the end… and not much of any resolution of these timelines that so need us to lead differently and bring them to their next place of healing, especially as the New Earth continues to birth and arise!

Much love as you navigate your own journey of soul and heart!

More on the Metasoul and other parts of you here: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/parts

If you need some deep support to help you digest and feel what has been coming through, my beloveds and I are happy to hold space with you: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/bridging-session

Photo by Ullash Borah via unsplash.com

***

Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for women age 25 and under, energy healer, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

The 11:11 Gateway As The Portal To Metasoul Healing

Published on by Gabriel Heartman2 Comments

It has been a week of letting in and acclimation. The energy here on Vancouver Island is just stunning. Geography has always been a big part of my awakening. That is true probably for most, if not all, of us. The land energy around us holds so many keys to the Metasoul, what I like to refer to as the planet of our soul. This planet contains the accumulation of our dimensional experiences, past, present, and future all in the Now. It has its light side and its shadow side.

As I spent some time the other day just taking in my immediate surroundings, I could feel the dimensional doorways inviting me to enter. To feel what soul consciousness lies on the other side to be felt and to receive guidance and support from. The area that I was walking in was once inhabited by a FIrst Nations tribe called the Saanich. Now, I just read a little bit about them on a board in the park that I was walking in. Mostly, I wanted to connect to the energy that was there and experience it for myself through my heartmind.

As with any other local native community, it was overrun by mining and commerce. Concrete structures found there way into what once was a very organic environment. An old smokestack still remains as a memory of this encroachment. I began to feel a voice inside of me that wanted to connect with me around this time. He wanted me to help him heal from this timeline of suffering and sadness. He felt to be a 4th dimensional consciousness stuck in the muck of the 3D paintrix, and understandably so.

As we enter into these coming days, months, and years I feel there will be an increasing vibration of these 4D Metasoul “brothers and sisters” that are going to be seeking a release from this old frequency and into something higher and healed. In order to serve this growing call and need we need to heal our own personal 3D timelines to make room for this. If there are a lot of 3D anchors living inside, these incoming 4D energies can be experienced as a lot of emotional heaviness, frustrations, anger, as well as physical symptoms such as sleepiness, headaches, stomach aches, and maybe even some “accidents” that are meant to be knocks on our heart doors to get with the healing and releasing.

This communion with our Metasoul can bring us much in the way of soul gifts, higher intuition and perspective. This soul brother of mine, who wants to be called by the name of the tribe itself, wants me to feel what life was/is like in the Lemurian Dimension. He can feel how I would benefit from his wisdom and passion as much as he can benefit from my open heart to feel and heal with him. It is a symbiotic relationship where we will eventually integrate and merge with each other in a more pure way. Less fused to the denser energies of the pain and suffering.

There is still a healing that happens inside of me as well. In the past, without feeling and clearing my own “this life” wounds, I would attach to the pain of my Metasoul and find myself in deep bouts of depression with drugs and alcohol as a way to manage and get medicate it. With all the inner work, I can now hold a different space around it that will allow for a reachoring in a higher dimensional frequency for all the Metasoul lives that are alive inside of me, yet to be felt and experienced. This continues to support and open my heart to the service of love to others.

As more comes up around this relationship I will share more. The main thing I wanted to express was how much we are being invited to go into our hearts and make room for all the spiritual refugees that are seeking a safe haven inside of our Being. It leads to a growing bridge to our Star Family both Gaian and Galactic. This 11:11 is the gateway to this brand new world that is right under our feet and in the Now. I invite you to join me on this ride of your life.

*****

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our website to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife/donations.

Being Prepared To Receive For 11:11:11 Portal

Published on by Jelelle Awen5 Comments

By Jelelle Awen

We are being prepared to receive on a galactic level, to let in the UPgrades/downloads coming through even now, yet especially on the ‘marker’ of this Sunday 11/11/11. This ‘being prepared’ feels like it is happening BEyond what can really tracked by our minds. This portal is about bringing MORE of our higher timeline self energies INTO our bodies and everyday experience of reality. The main ground of preparation is of the body itself, as it is the densest expression of our BEing. Also, the SOULar winds have been high in the last day, along with a G-1 class geostorm, according to spaceweather.com.

Headaches, neck and back pain, infections/flus/colds (that feel that way but aren’t actually about bacteria as 3D relates to it,) extreme sleepiness and drowsiness, lightheadedness are all possible right now as we flow into the 11:11 energies. You may be feeling some of these and trying to push through it to do ‘normal’ activities…..this could be pretty challenging and just not possible right now.

Even if you have to take this time ‘off’ from doing during this portal opening, it will be worth it for what you can potentially connect with and receive in the resting. This is an aspect of surrender to the process, to trust that something special is going on here, and that you are being held through it with Divine love on ALL levels, even and especially on the physical.

I have had quite a high energy level since landing here in Victoria, Canada a month ago, yet felt a dip in energy the last two days and much sleepiness and need to rest and go within. I connected this to the 11:11 portal and rested into it, letting in guidance and clarities from my Lemurian/First Nations Metasoul aspect/sister named Atta that has been activated by moving here. Yoga with Adriene (available on Youtube), salt baths, and walks around the water have been helping with the integration.

I’ve been experiencing (and our community too) much manifestation in an outward way this last month as my higher timeline BECOMES reality now after energizing and visualizing it for the last two years especially. This feels like a harvest time for those of us needed to serve and to lead the next phases of ascension and awakening. The gifts and harvest we receive are connected to the service of love, always, not personal or self image gratification…although the two are entwined and connected as you move into higher vibrational consciousness.

This process of receiving is accelerating in this now. Real movement INside and as a collective is possible and occurring. ALL the support you need is available if you ask for it and open UP to receive….especially during this powerful and special portal opening of 11:11:11!

~

Raphael Awen and I will be hosting a livestream tomorrow on FB on 11:11 at 11:11am PST (Vancouver, Canada time). We’ll respond to your comments, questions, and also co-lead a guided meditation to connect to the 11:11 codes. If you can’t make it live, the recording will be available on my FB feed and also on our SoulFullHeart Experience Youtube Channel.

Jelelle Awen
1:1 galactic activation, bridging, and ongoing sessions are available with me and other SoulFullHeart Facilitators! More info here:soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions

11:11 Portal Awakenings To Serve Love: SoulFullHeart Weekly Museletter (Nov 5, 2018)

Published on by Kasha RosaLeave a comment

It’s the release of our weekly Museletter! Offering ALL of our writings, videos, events, healing offerings, and audio blogs for the week. Go read it here!

This week, Jelelle Awen offers a poignant invitation to feel the frequencies of the 11:11 portal reaching its peak on November 11. She especially highlights that the energies moving through have been inviting us all into our next level of service of love and that there could be much resistance understandably coming up from your heart and soul in response and reaction to that:

“This is a time of feeling the karmic fears that live in your Metasoul about moving into expression of your soul gifts in order to serve love. There are experiences of persecution for expressing your soul gifts from often many timelines that need digestion and integration. “

She goes on to offer that this is also a time to begin sharing from the wealth of experience within your own healing heart and soul, especially if you have been ‘working on yourself’ for quite some time now:

“This is an momentous time that so many souls who have been awakening and ‘working on themselves’ for a long time are being invited (we could say ‘pressed) to start serving love in whatever ways that means for them. Time to start SHARING from their ever healing and expanding out heart space.”

We have a couple of new event announcements for you this week. The first being the brand new SoulFullHeart Retreat that Raphael and Jelelle Awen along with the assistance of Kalayna Colibri, Gabriel Heartman, and Raianna Shai, will be hosting. The retreat will take place February 15-19, 2019 in Victoria, BC, Canada.

The second event is a new Live Stream taking place this coming Sunday, November 11 at 11:11am PST, also hosted by Raphael and Jelelle Awen, and intended as a Q&A and digestion space for the 11:11 portal along with a guided meditation to help you open up to and integrate the incoming energies.

There are two NEW guided meditation offerings this week from Jelelle and Raphael. Jelelle has created a short but sweet meditation to help you land in the frequencies of beautiful Victoria, BC and the Lemurian energies that are alive here. Raphael has created a guided meditation to connect with your Inner Protector, led by his sacred masculine energy, presence, and voice.

We have several new articles for you this week, from Kalayna, Gabriel, Raphael, and Jelelle. They include digestions of current events and energy updates, as well as personal process sharings that connect to what is moving collectively.

1:1 Galactic Activation Sessions with Jelelle are now available for booking. They are a $55 USD minimum donation for 75-90min and will involve checking in with your parts and Metasoul/Galactic Aspects, helping you reunite with your Star Family, activating your Ascension Chakra vortexes, and much more… email soulfullhearts@gmail.com to book. For more information, visit: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/galacticsessions

Raphael, Jelelle and Gabriel offer 1:1 90min Bridging Sessions to help boost and digest your Ascension process and feel with you what your next steps are towards your highest timeline possibilities. These sessions are available for $55 USD minimum donation per session. More information can be found here: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/bridging-session

We love to share our offerings with you and would enjoy receiving whatever heart donation in the form of money you feel that resonates with our offerings. You can go to our donation page for more info on how to donate: http://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/donations

Thank you so much for your interest in and support of SoulFullHeart Way of Life! If you’d like to receive these Museletters directly and automatically in your email every week, you can subscribe on our website at: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/writingmuseletters

Check out the latest Museletter here.

Change Outside Requires Making Room For Change Inside

Published on by Kasha Rosa6 Comments

by Kalayna Colibri

So, here I am…. having landed less than a week ago on the other side of some big big changes. I feel evidence unfolding now that changing geography or anything on the outside inevitably invites and actually requires you to change on the inside too. To continue letting go and letting in. To continue to feel what’s coming up to be felt as your parts acclimate to your new surroundings and circumstances.

Being back in Canada brings up a lot for me. It reminds me of who I was before I left 4 years ago and reflects to me how much and how deeply I’ve changed, healed, shifted. And, it shows me where the residue still is and what still needs to be moved through. I feel so empowered to keep doing this too. I feel so ready to shake off the old now… old reactions and judgements and fears. Old pieces that no longer really matter or are necessary to hold on to. Having been with so many parts of me over the years who have had such deep conditioning from living in a Western country, and especially in an environment outside of the west, I now get to feel and let in the rewards of new perspectives inside of me and let them be more real than the conditioning ever was. I still feel some pieces lingering, some self-consciousness for example, that is starting to fall away more and more.

I’ve begun connecting with a Lemurian aspect named Luta. She has helped me see and feel already some of the old reactions coming up that are ready to be recycled, moved into something new with the help of the Gaia love and support around me. I feel I am more able to move into the NEW with her help right now and my continuing inner process.

I’ll share more as that all unfolds.

Much love to all of you as we all inhabit and let in new possibilities and deep inner and outer change… and everything that comes with for each of us!

~

Jelelle recently created a short guided meditation you can follow along with to feel your own Lemurian aspect(s) and to download some of the incredible codes here in Victoria: https://youtu.be/_yKWe2YtFNc

***

Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart co-founder, soul scribe, and poetess. Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

 

Today I Vote For Love

Published on by Gabriel Heartman1 Comment

Election Day in the US. Months of intense energy filling the echo chamber of the minds, hearts, and souls of a populace. Words and images slinging across paper and screens throughout the body politic to muddy waters and create division. It is polarization at its finest.

While I find myself across the 49th parallel, I still feel drawn to the soul of a country I once called home. The rising tide of a nation’s shadow is on full display. It is something that is all part of a greater plot that we have a personal connection to. We all have this polarization inside. We are feeling it in ourselves when we watch the news and get triggered by its play-by-play broadcast.

When or if you choose to vote, feel your heart as you submit your ticket. The energy you have in that moment is the energy you are ultimately voting for. If you feel fear, anger, or even apathy, that is what you are choosing. If instead you send it off with Love, love for yourself, love for your community, love for the sake of Love itself, I believe you send a greater message. One that rises above the physical result. You are choosing more than Us vs Them. You are choosing All.

I know that is far from any astute political analysis that finds its wheels spinning for days on end, but for me it sends a message that doesn’t need numbers or fallout. It just wants us to be in a State of Magic, Beauty, and Reverence and to share that with others. Those are the polls I choose to listen to. Those are the Tweets I choose to let into my Inbox. That is the beginning of a real revolution. May thay day begin with a vote for Love.

******

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our website to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife/donations.

Lemurian Activation & Chakra Cleaning Guided Meditation W/Jelelle Awen (Video)

Published on by Jelelle Awen3 Comments

By Jelelle Awen

This is a quick, NEW guided meditation with me! Filmed yesterday while out at a beautiful regional park here in Victoria, BC to share the Lemurian/Mu codes with YOU. I also move through your ascension chakras and share some Mu language as well! Very grounding energies which could be useful and needed as we move(d) into MORE SOULar wind activations and some Gaia fluctuation waves again yesterday and today….

Subscribe to our SoulFullHeart Experience Youtube Channel to receive ALL of our new guided meditations, audio blogs, livestream recordings, etc.: https://www.youtube.com/c/SoulFullHeartExperience

Here is the description:

Lemurian energies are available in the Now..not as an ‘ancient civilization’, yet energizing in every moment for us to download and activate in ourselves. Lemurian (Mu) energies offer a deep sense of grounding and union with Gaia, our natural surroundings and our inner geographies as well. In this QUICK video, SoulFullHeart Teacher and Facilitator Jelelle Awen offers a guided meditation to activate and share Mu codes. This video is filmed in Victoria, BC, Canada….a ‘sleepier grid’ of Lemurian energies, less known than Kaui, Hawaii, yet powerful when received.

Jelelle shares some Lemurian language that comes through and you may feel a response in you to it as well! She also introduces you to your ascension chakras (personal sun, soul star, and causal) plus your root system as connected to Mother Gaia. This gives you a sense of your sacred human blue print. You can close your eyes during this video or take in the beautiful surroundings of trees and the lake.

Here are writings that Jelelle has done about Lemuria: https://soulfullheartblog.com/…/your-heaven-is-within-mess…/
https://soulfullheartblog.com/…/no-reason-to-fear-transiti…/

Jelelle Awen
1:1 galactic activation sessions with me now available to bring in codes like Mu….more info here: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/galacticsessions

The Collective Shadow Is Seeking Healing

Published on by Gabriel HeartmanLeave a comment

The loss of innocent lives within the content of hate is a tragedy beyond understanding. How do we digest any of this that gives us any solace or context? There is something that lives in the underbelly of our collective shadow. It can be manipulated and coerced by “the powers that be” to create fear and divisiveness, but this only leads us down a road of powerlessness and a vicious cycle of Us vs.Them.

We obviously want answers and solutions that can give parts of us the sense that justice is being served and change is being made for the better. The energy that is upswelling is intense. It can trigger so many parts and aspects of us that are in timelines of persecution and injustice. Even ones in which we were the abuser and repressor. This is the messy part of ascension making its way into our awareness.

We can’t help but feel afraid, uncertain, and angry in times like this. It should not be suppressed or ignored but rather gone into. If we hang our hearts and minds on the hooks of fear, rage, and manipulation then somehow I feel we are missing something that is bigger.

The judgment and hate come from our collective well. We are not separate from it no matter how you dress it up. It is actually part of the process of seeing and feeling what still needs to be addressed within each of us, not just set on fire in the din of the echo chamber of our social and political media. Falses flags and gun control, in my opinion, are not the conversations to be mired up in. Do I believe that there are false flags? Yes, I do. Do I feel something needs to be done about violence and guns? Of course, but I need and want to get above the swell so that I can feel my heart, my metasoul, my part in all of this. Where does Love need me to go and how does it want me to respond?

I feel so much sadness for those that have been affected by these recent events. I feel the fear and rage too. But I also want to bring in the love or else we just descend without something holding the space. Go into the energy that comes up and feel where it lives in you from this life and beyond. What is it that it is triggering inside and give voice to that. It is a portal into something that can bring a wider lens and an open (many times broken) heart. These are the “solutions” I am here to feel for myself and offer the world at large so that we can fully learn from and understand what is truly rumbling from our collective heart and soul.

*****

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our website to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife/donations.

 

Honoring The Courage To Feel: A Gatekeeper’s Journey

Published on by Gabriel Heartman3 Comments

Tender tears flow. This is the moment of feeling. Healing. Letting go and letting in. In recent weeks I have been connecting with another layer of my defenses, my protection, in the form of what we call the Gatekeeper. They are the holders and guardians of our soul story and soul pain. I have had several incarnations in my healing process and this latest one has been one that has been like the Wizard of my Oz. He was found in deep resistance to feminine intuition and guidance. It was a subtle energy that was very much closely connected to my waking consciousness. A cognitive dissonance arose in me and I began to feel a bit lost in what was me and what wasn’t.

As I began to commune with this energy more and receive space-holding from Jelelle and reflection from my beloved Kalayna, I could begin to feel a conscious separation that is all part of this work of differentiation. The energy became less unknown and more knowable. More willing to be seen and connected with. I could feel how this aspect of me has been so closely entwined with me most of my life and came out in bits and pieces over the course of my healing.

But this has felt core to me. The themes he has shared with me have been themes that have pervaded my consciousness my whole life. Guilt, shame, cowardice, judgment, rejection, fear, doubt, hopelessness, and even rage. Our Gatekeepers are like sponges that hold this vast arena of our soul in a what appears as a finite container of energy. This provides a huge feeling of burden and responsibility. I have equated it to the image of Atlas in past writings.

He was originally found in a large cavernous space under my castle as a dragon protecting my inner treasure of heart and soul. But this was mostly a projection of defense he has since shown himself to be more human in form as the lifetimes on this planet would have him, and me, accustomed to. We have been in contact daily but he has been a bit elusive due to his own distrust and acclimation in being seen. Today he let me in a bit more to feel the deeper pain of creating a wall to his angelic home.

From his words, he felt how much he had fused to this dimension and assumed the role of responsibility of what happened to my soul, rather than the intended choice of being a guide. The experiences of myriad timelines had shuddered his heart through the volatility of human pain and emotion. He chose a life of hiding and self-sequestering that only acted as a barrier to receive the Love from whence he came. I was guided to play some piano music that has always brought this feeling of missing home into my heart. As I played it, the tears came and the heart opened even if just slightly.

He could feel the waves of love coming from “beyond” yet are very much right here, right now. It has been hard for him to let that in as it means to feel the pain of putting up the walls in the first place. So the tears are bittersweet, but tears nonetheless. They are the process of Love finding the pain and giving it the healing that it wants and needs in order to move on and move up to new frequencies and timelines that offer more ease and joy and less heaviness and difficulty.

It wasn’t a full dam break but a good start to begin to shift something so profoundly core in my life. In my quest for wholeness, self-love, and service of love. The image that I chose below is one that represents my Gatekeeper and his lonely search for Love even when he has resisted it so. It looked as far away as the stars but forgetting is had always been there right there under his feet and in his heart. This is my honoring of him and his courage to keep marching on.

*****

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our website to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife/donations.

Returning To Source

Published on by Raphael Awen2 Comments

By Raphael Awen

Is there a way we could embrace suicide somehow, yet without doing any harm to ourselves?

A Tribute To Wayne:

I began going by my middle name of Wayne in 2008, after some deep life changes rocked through my world. People who knew and loved me as Marvin, my given first name, had a hard time with me now going by Wayne. Wayne wasn’t Marvin. My life wasn’t what it had been.

Wayne was a new arising me who could leave entire well constructed worlds behind in search of new ones, when he knew the old worlds were completing.

I had been going by the name of Wayne for only a few weeks when I again chose to connect with Jelelle (then Jillian) and to fully explore open hearted romance. That soon involved leaving Canada behind, moving to California, not quite legally, then getting banned from the US, reordering our world back to Canada, even choosing to go through bankruptcy a few years later. It was all adventure and expansion and Wayne loved every bit of it, even feeling the kickups of anxiety that the edges of that aliveness also pushed up.

Chapter after life chapter unfolded taking him and us to change so much of life as I had known it. I left my too familiar hometown behind and chose to live in new places close to the ocean that reflected the aliveness and changes on the inside. My relationship with a career in its third decade was thinned out as I embraced more and more the call and desire to co-found SoulFullHeart together with Jillian.

After 6 years together, the desire and call came to relocate to Mexico, to quite simply load the van and go. Wayne did just that, along with Jillian, and Kathleen and Christian (Kalayna and Gabriel) and then adjusted to a ton of newness and exploration on an offgrid ranch attempting growing our own food and cob building in a very foreign setting on what felt like less than a shoestring budget, in terms of both money and know how; and all of that while remaining in deep heart and soul connection with Jillian, along with our tiny community, and the desire to birth SoulFullHeart into the world more and more. In many ways the universe led us through a great death and rebirth phase and Wayne was my personal tour guide for the duration.

Then came a time of feeling another layer of aliveness that wasn’t Wayne arising in me, and I chose to go by the name, Raphael. The name change was much easier this time as I was only in contact with a few local Mexicans and my closest beloveds at the ranch who fully supported my name change. Wayne felt like a beloved part of me who was stepping back now from leading my life as I, Raphael, was holding a yet again new frequency of relationship to life. Wayne felt like his time as me, as my leading edge, was completing.

Wayne was the one who could hold and manage the practical with a deeply open heart, and love the edges and challenges that arose. Wayne was the one who could embrace deeply the deep feminine in his beloved and in himself, even when he was confounded by it. Wayne was able to claim what he wanted and let go of what he didn’t want.

I felt my relationship to Wayne wane over time (pun intended). He took a mostly backseat in my life as I as Raphael now held life and him as a beloved part of me. Then as our recent choice to move back to Canada arose for us, I felt some distinct Wayne tones arise sharply in my consciousness.

As I felt so many exciting new things coming into my life, I strangely also had some strong constricted moments of feeling anxious. Being out shopping for familiar foods with a very excited Jelelle and Raianna, I felt myself struggling to find my joy or excitement and instead wanted to save money. Beneath the anxiety about outcomes, I could feel a deep tiredness coming from somewhere inside of me to be ‘doing it all over again’. I tried to breathe through and manage these feelings as understandable given the degree of life change underway, yet the feelings persisted to where I could so clearly feel a part of me not on board with where I found myself now.

I checked in with Wayne and could so feel this as him, trying on one hand to summon the energy to continue and at the same time, so not wanting to. When I picked up pen and paper yesterday to journal with Wayne, I asked him about his feelings and what he told me was that he had an overwhelming feeling of wanting to return back to Source, and that he didn’t feel connected or energized towards our new Canada timeline, try as he may. He told me that he felt complete with the lifetime lived out in the past 13 years and now so wanted to go deeply into the embrace of the Divine Mother. I wept wave after wave of deep tears together with him feeling a deep completion and then I felt at odds about where to lead him next. I shared the experience with Jelelle and Raianna later in the day, who both shared my tears and deep realization, both of whom knew and loved Wayne so dearly. Jelelle offered that he was free to go; to be beautifully and ceremoniously released to return back to source; to ‘pass away’ from this dimension and go onwards to his next dimensions of exploration and journey; that his work was done, and so well done at that; that his reward awaited him.

We released Wayne right there, sitting at the kitchen table, and felt him go, leaving now from his home territory of Canada. It’s only been a nights digestion and yet I feel so much lighter. I can feel Wayne in transit and can still feel a heart chord with him, that feels like it never needs to go away, a chord of supply from the source that he returns to, from the arms of the Divine Mother whose embrace he chose to be deeper enfolded in.

I can feel him now removed from this practical third dimension and yet so practical at the same time, wanting to create a logistics shipping company that can transport goods and services between the dimensions like a well oiled machine, in a yin feminine kind of way.

I can feel my heart as Raphael ready to take on the new beginnings of starting all over again with a feeling of joy and opportunity, rather than a fear or anxiety of not being enough for this next chapter.

My heart tells me that it’s totally natural to have parts of us complete their timelines here and to be able to release them without ending our physical lives. We need not fuse to their feelings in a result of suicide, but instead hold heart space for their feelings to move through us – their gifts being received and them being allowed to go onwards, with a new version of ourselves being supported by the Divine to hold the larger context and timing of our sacred earth tour.

Thank you for feeling this tribute to Wayne.

May you know also the parts of you that need their advent and return through the vehicle of your earth journey.

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.  Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc. Visit our donations page to offer a monthly or one time money donation to support our offerings.