Category: Emotional Body Healing

Collapsing And Awakening Into Deeper Spiritual Consciousness

Published on by Kasha Rosa2 Comments

By Kalayna Colibri

the_awakening_by_anatofinnstark-d9r2on3

Painting: The Awakening by Anato Finnstark

“Am I real?”

I laid in my twin bed in a room temporarily shared with my soul friend Gabriel, around this time last year, sobbing. This question rang inside of me as I wept uncontrollable, deep tears. I couldn’t track if it was a part of me and in that moment and the moments that followed, it really didn’t matter. I was crying and shedding layers of persona that came pouring off and out of me. Something was moving, though I wasn’t sure what.

It felt so strange to hold this question… it was a true, ‘wow, I feel so f*cked!’ kind of feeling. The ground that had been established for 29 years of my life, many years of spiritual seeking and emotional exploration, was suddenly in deep question. Who was I? Who AM I? Why did I suddenly feel as if I ‘knew’ so little when it came to spirituality, even after so many years of studying this and intuiting that, and listening to this teacher and that teacher?

This work in SoulFullHeart is deconstructive. It brings you to the point where the parts of you that have been shouldering your life and also your spirituality like Atlas shoulders the Earth decide they can’t do ‘it’ anymore. They let in that they aren’t now and perhaps have never been who they thought they were – meaning that now, you can begin to feel that YOU are not who you thought you were. Wow. Even after years of process and doing this piece by piece, part by part, these moments of pure tears of awakening within are not something that can be predicted, they just need to be given the space to happen.

As my tears continued, I thought about Jelelle and Raphael sleeping in a nearby room. I saw them as light beams in their essences. I could feel the identities we each have and need to have to some extent as a costume we sign up for and wear throughout our lives. As humans, we wear our stories like cloaks around our shoulders, and some of us have zippers in these cloaks to bring them in tighter to us. Either way, it’s a costume and it’s temporary. This washed over me, especially while connecting with Gabriel who heard my tears and felt to come over to check on me. I could feel his heart and the heart of Raphael and Jelelle too. I could feel the purifying work we’ve been doing, and I could feel how this is what allows us to go into these spaces when necessary, to fill back up with love again and a deeper sense of our essence.

This experience was visceral for me. It cannot be dissected or analyzed. It was a precious new beginning and recognition of what real spirituality is… it is not something that lives in the mind, though the mind is needed to help us understand somehow,  even though our consciousness can never fully reach out and ‘know’ or understand everything. The mind is also here to help us picture, envision, plan what’s next for us (as much as we even CAN plan these days!). My own mind was collapsing in these moments last year, telling me it was tired. My heart was collapsing and yet strengthening too, telling me it was tired of trying to go beyond itself and into territory that doesn’t resonate or make sense to it in an experiential way.

This was an awakening. This was and is a place where many of us are heading in different strata of our being and the layers of awakening are going to move through us, as they need to and as we ask for them to.

We are dismantling and collapsing and we have MUCH to feel in the process. Our worlds, inner and outer, are in question in poignant moments of disclosure and revelation. We are all awakening, we are all letting go to let in, even if we aren’t fully aware of it. We are not here to criticize one another for wherever it is we choose to go or not go. We are not here to condemn, ridicule or cast aside. We are here to feel ourselves first, to begin entering this process of self-disclosure and discovery, with help, with mirrors, with advocacy, with tears, and with joy too. If we serve love, we are not always positive or optimistic, but we are real, only becoming realer and realer, until the overflow of a heart that wants and receives from self can then serve love to other, assisting them in their own journey of finding this flow within. It is becoming harder and harder to NOT be real now. We are no longer able to spend the currency of the false, at least not for much longer.

How amazing it is, to be able to go here and come out the other side with a deeper sense of love and what it truly offers us… when I look back on this last year of my life since this process, I can see the ways in which it helped to fuel some big shifts inside of me, some of which are still landing deeper and deeper in my soul.

All awakenings we have, no matter how intense, are here to help conduct us through a necessary birth canal that leads us to our most desired outcomes and a deep sense of spirituality that humbles and loves us beyond anything we can begin to fathom – until we collapse into the capacity to do so…

***

Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Listening To The Lion: Time To Lead With Feeling

Published on by Gabriel HeartmanLeave a comment

IMG_20170731_130944

Painting by Gabriel Heartman

The last few nights have been super intense emotionally for me.  I have had waves of doubt, self-punishment, and anxiety arise in my field that began to overwhelm me.  Hard to fall asleep with the intense energies and I needed to connect with the Divine energy to move through some of it.  Through my SoulFullHeart process I know they are not mine but coming from something within me that needs to be felt.

It has taken form of a MetaSoul aspect of mine that is living an Atlantean lifetime.  I had a beautiful group session with the help of Jelelle to feel this aspect and begin a more balanced relationship with him and his intensity.  Last night I began to feel energies that didn’t feel connected to him and could be another aspect of my soul coming through around anxiety.

What the heck is going on?

I felt to tap into my guides and intuition since I couldn’t sleep and was told that this is a very intense time for many.  I have known about the current lead up to the Lion’s Gate portal for a while now, and I am starting to piece some things together for myself around it.  What I received is that this is a time of great confluence.  Many energies are coming together that may feel like a squeeze to some.  It is thinning out veils and the gap between what is authentic and not.  It is bringing in codes that feel to be bubbling up old unhealed lower frequencies that are preventing us from moving into our next growth places.  These frequencies are held by parts of us as well as Metasoul aspects that are bleeding in at this Thinning.  It can be a crazy-making time if there isn’t a larger container to hold all of it in.

It may be advised to just ride out the wave and be kind and gentle to yourself.  I agree with being self-loving to yourself is key right now.  But I also feel there is great opportunity for growth and letting in more of the love we came here to experience.  It all brings up the unloved energies within us that are needing to be held and felt to make room for more.  It is like the altitude is changing and the old denser energies are needing to fall away.  But there is an invitation to actively participate in this process, and not just passively let it go by.  This is the leading edge of consciousness we are stepping into!

I feel that this is the message of the Lion.  He is inviting us to lead ourselves into a new relationship with our experience of life and Gaia as we have known it.  He is about finding our courage and strength and feeling all that we need to feel during this highly transformative time.  What wounds and pains, both this and other lives, are looking to be heard and felt at this time? What resistance is showing up inside of us that keeps us from fully inhabiting the largess and love sponges we are?  This is not an easy choice to make going INto the pain, not to suffer, but to heal.  To reveal. To discover.  It leads us into our jungle and arise as the king and queen of our truest dreams and inner knowing.

You may be pressed to make some difficult choices along the way.  We can not have things stay the same and expect them to be different.  Leading your way into your next emotional and spiritual growth terrain is what Leo is offering and guiding us toward. Healing your way to passion, purpose, and the remembrance of magic.  From denser energy to higher vibration. From care-taking to self-actualization.  From being alone to being in community and sacred passionate romance!

SoulFullHeart offers a pathway and a community that serves this growth and expansion of love.  We are here to lead this way of life into the world to those that it resonates with. The Lion is a huge totem for us and what we came here to do and be.  I am listening closely myself and feeling what it is that needs my attention to enter into more expression of Love and Serviceship.  We invite you to do the same.  Be kind and gentle with yourself during these days and months to come.  And we are here to serve all that is arising in you should you feel the call of the wild of heart and soul.

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Narrowing Energetic Corridor Offers Movement Into The New

Published on by Jelelle Awen3 Comments
By Jelelle Awen
passage

All night long during my brief conscious moments and during sleep too, I was walking down this corridor….a long hallway. The ceiling was getting tighter and the floor rising up to meet it. Not a pleasant feeling…this ‘narrowing’ passageway feeling. Yet, also, I could feel there was LOVE in this movement somehow and that at the ‘end’ of the hallway were wide, OPEN spaces filled with Infinite Possibilities.

As I digest this in the now moment, it feels like a pretty good metaphor for what is happening energetically on the inner and outer cosmic levels. In this now called “August 2017” is a ‘mega month’ of energy activities…eclipses and the lion’s gate opening that peaks in a week on August 8th. There are many writings about this cosmic activity and its impact, messages, and what it is offering us during the ascension process on sites such as Lovehaswon.org. My focus and soul purpose service of love is about bridging the emotional body with the spiritual and soul awakening process while being aware of how what is happening in the cosmos may be impacting this ongoing process, specifically from a parts work and Metasoul aspect perspective. I am actually surprised that so many souls seem to resonate with this perspective as it is certainly different, yet perhaps also deeply needed and been a ‘missing’ piece in the ascension picture.

The narrowing corridor I was shown feels like the old life and the previous versions, the 3D self versions and masks and personas, are being ‘pressed down’ in order to move them along. It is becoming increasingly uncomfortable and cramped to be less than who you are and you are feeling it more acutely now on all levels. The physical body is releasing pain and resistance in the form of ascension body symptoms such as ringing in the ears, changing sleeping patterns, dizzyness, nausea, appetite changes, body aches, hot flashes, etc. Some of this is resistance and some of this is just transition and adjustment to so much more light coming into every cell and igniting previously sleepy DNA.

It is becoming increasingly uncomfortable too within relationships where previously you were the ‘big fish in the little pond’ or the ‘tall one in the rooms with shorter ceilings.’ What this means is that the settings, relationships, and careers where parts of you feel VERY comfortable within your comfort zone are now feeling cramped and confining. Your soul self (higher self coming into the body and healthy emotional body) wants to fly, wants growth, wants to be challenged, wants mirrors to see yourself, wants to stand tall, and is ok to be the big fish in the big pond with other big fish.

There could be a feeling of crawling right now as you travel down the corridor of this old, feeling your way through as previously suppressed pains and wounds from your emotional body and Metasoul greet you and come up. Crawling is ok though, as is pausing and just sitting still and BEing with the discomfort. Crying the tears that need to come up. BEing with the fears too. All this is temporary….a pressure cooker, compression point, narrowing corridor reality that invites you to keep choosing love in every moment in order to keep moving through it.

Some souls will become immobilized, stuck, or choose to leave their bodies. Even those who are more awakened or newly awakened may lash out with fear and retreat….going back down their hallway and into their comfort zone and safety again. In this case, all you can really do and BE is compassionate love for them, invite them to come with you and keep going forward yourself. If you try to ‘go back’ for them or stay with them, you will lower your vibrational frequency to fear and potentially ‘fuse’ to parts of you that will put you back to sleep again. There is heightened temptation to do this as the fear-based energies reach out in a ‘last grasp attempt’ at our trailing edges of BEing.

There is actually something at stake and at risk in relationships right now. It is probably the stickiest ground when it comes to the ascension process. ‘Going down’ with someone in order to ‘save them’ is a trap that could keep you looping in suffering and co-dependent patterns. Clinging on to ‘capacity’ rather than being real about transactability can keep you hanging on to others, staying stuck, and even parts of you in delusion, such as what happens often in the Twin Flame paradigm. Really asking yourself what you want in relationships of all kinds, what is healthy and nourishing for you, who is a healthy mirror of you and being open to feel all that comes up in parts of you that cling and why can help you navigate this sticky ground.

Better to mourn the completion of these lower frequency relationships, let go, and keep BEing the light that you are, feeling yourself and your own healing as your first priority. This choosing of yourself and your own heart creates a beacon that draws the souls that are in your soul family tribe to join you and your TRUE sacred union mate as well. You may be walking, crawling, and BEing alone for a phase though as you truly leave behind your previous life to enter your new one.

It is a time of choosing love over fear in every moment in ways both subtle and perhaps very dramatic and profound. It is a time of change…both on a very personal level and as a collective. It is a time of a waking up on a grander scale then we have seen before since choosing our collective slumber and amnesia. At the end of each of our hallways is VAST, open space filled with Infinite Love and Infinite Possibilities. The Divine waits there to embrace us in Love again even as It is with us always in every moment as we crawl and find and arise into the love that we ARE.

 

~
 Jelelle Awen is an Emoto-Spiritual Teacher, Soul Scribe, waySHOWer, and co-creator and teacher of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. She is author of Sacred Human, Arising Wonder: Ascension Through Integration Of Your Emotional Body With Your Spirituality and  Keep Waking Up! Awakening Journeys To Avalon And Beyond . Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions with SoulFullHeart Facilitators, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Pausing On ‘Doing’ To Feel And ‘BEcome’

Published on by Kasha RosaLeave a comment

by Kalayna Colibri

thepowerofthepausewhyyoushouldjustbe

Sometimes you need a break to reevaluate, to take stock, to go IN. The ‘charging ahead’ is too often fuelled by something that can ultimately leave you feeling unfulfilled, like all you do is put out energy and get what can feel like ‘nothing’ in return. And then sometimes you feel this consciously and other times you don’t… your conditioning may run so deep in relationship to ‘doing’ and ‘productivity’ in one way or another, that the ‘time’ and space to actually feel into how this is affecting you and those around you is challenging to find.

It can be so subtle too, this drive to ‘forge onward’ even though you feel tired and the need to recuperate can become buried by parts of you that are addicted somehow to the race of it all, the adrenaline, and the way in which it keeps you from feeling them. Overriding the need for rest is an act of violence towards the self, with suppression as the priority. Also, without the time for you, the time put out for others can be in-genuine and fuelled by something other than authentic love, care, and reverence.

The hardest part in this, is feeling the vulnerability underneath the desire to ‘keep going’… for parts of me and Metasoul aspects of mine too, it has been a fear of becoming invisible, irrelevant, like suddenly I won’t exist in people’s worlds if I don’t keep showing up despite needing time just for me, to become more visible to myself first.

How can someone else take me in if I am not taking myself in?

I get that in some ways, this is easy to manufacture… that is, until it isn’t. There are plenty of strategies out there for us to learn and adopt for ourselves, to make sure we are seen, heard, noticed. Yet, if this is all really about just a sincere ache for love deep within us, then why is the external still so leaned on as something more important than the internal, which is really the only place where we can find the love we MOST need? This is an ongoing question that I hold for myself and the answers are always unfolding, sometimes into deeper process around the core wounding underneath it.

I feel that somewhere inside of each of us, there is likely a core wound that is similar to this one, where parts of us don’t feel qualified to receive love unless we have a certain amount of output and engagement happening outside of ourselves. There seem to be so many layers to this and it’s intense to feel through, but the other side of it ultimately means more love than we have imagined so far, all coming from a place within that cannot run dry.

This writing today is a form of output, yet coming from a place inside of me that needs to share and wants to share… that wants to serve the love that I’m being served too, to keep the flow going. I can see and feel the difference inside of myself now, more and more. In some ways, I can still feel how there is a layer here of ‘I want to write something so that I don’t get forgotten about’ and yet even sharing that feels important for me and for you. I get to see this reflection as I write and share and you get to see and feel into it for yourself too. Ultimately my intention is to help create a world with more open-hearted love flow. A universe with more transparent, vulnerable leadership that can feel itself while also feeling and guiding others from its own well-spring of self-love first. I want to co-create with you, a world where wounded layers like this can be brought out to receive the ointment they need, without them staying buried in a place deep inside where they can’t be touched and can’t be reached by the love that wants to reach them…

There is a lot to do, a lot to show up for, but ultimately there is – even more – to be and become… and the ultimate ‘becoming’ is LOVE…

***

Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Timelines Merging And Veil Is Thinning So We Can BE With Aspects From Other Lifetimes

Published on by Jelelle Awen4 Comments

By Jelelle Awen

timelines converging

Timelines merging, veil is SO thin, and what has been called ‘past lives’ is NOT past, yet these energies are in the now. There is so much bleed through of other lifetimes that then triggers our emotional body reactivity and ‘hidden’ woundings. It creates a ricochet effect that can be confusing and intense. These eras and legacies and civilizations (Atlantis, Lemuria, Avalon, etc.) are energizing and ALIVE in the now. The mind (and part of you) might want to make them the ‘past’ so that they don’t have as much impact and influence as they actually seem to on your experience of reality and your emotional reactivity and outward manifestation.

Our definition of what is ‘real’ and ‘reality’ is being hugely altered, shifted, and turning upside down from what 3D has said and taught that it is. Our hearts ‘get’ it as they are not linear and they feel every moment as the now….they get stuck sometimes in a moment or scene and need us to help them move beyond it again, to become fluid again…to free up the flow of love, compassion, gratitude, and goodness. Our hearts are what is needed in this now, with so much crazy making (this is a TRUE mind fu*k! reality) realigning of our realities.

Energies of Atlantis are coming in and offering us a storyline to go down that comes alive with our openness to feel and heal it with the aspects of us that are living it out. The ‘fall of Atlantis’ is a wound in our personal and collective consciousness. We are experiencing this in deeply personal ways in our processes in SoulFullHeart, and Raphael and I too in our relationship. There is the Raphael-Jelelle timeline of usness experience and there is the others, the counterpart matings and pair bondings that span planets, species, and timelines. The Atlantis ones seems to be the most intense with themes of sovereignty, separation, power struggles, matriarchy vs. patriarchy playing out. Sorting through what is what through the terrain of the heart with the higher mind helping too (yes, I believe there is a higher vibrational frequency of thought and that the mind is not bad, just can vibrate at different levels of consciousness). This can be a tricky process with self love and compassion AND for other needed to hold the space.

This can feel like a ‘soup’ to navigate yet the process of parts work and metasoul aspects helps in such a huge way. It provides a life line and a heart line too….and a soul line too actually. It is the way we live our lives and what we offer others too, and how we led yesterday during an all day group session with some very touching and important and DEEP process happening for all that were there!

Be open right now to what has previously been labeled as ‘impossible.’ Be open to letting in energies of what you may have felt were not ‘relevant’ or ‘in the past’. Open your heart to all the aspects that need you…..even if (and especially if) they exist in another timeline. As you are open to this and curious, you become more able to ride the waves, experience the gift of them, and integrate it ALL into your wholeness expression.

Read more about parts work process and metasoul aspects here:soulfullheartwayoflife.com/parts

~

Jelelle Awen is an Emoto-Spiritual Teacher, Soul Scribe, waySHOWer, and co-creator and teacher of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. She is author of Sacred Human, Arising Wonder: Ascension Through Integration Of Your Emotional Body With Your Spirituality and  Keep Waking Up! Awakening Journeys To Avalon And Beyond . Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions with SoulFullHeart Facilitators, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Energy Update: Activation Of The Higher Heart And Healing The Healer

Published on by Jelelle Awen3 Comments

By Jelelle Awen

higherheart

Heating UP, Amping UP…..I have described these energy influxes we have been experiencing as being like a ‘pressure cooker of LOVE’ turned to its highest setting. This seems to be increasing in the last few weeks and as we head into August, an intense month with a lot of activity on the cosmic level. All these energies are putting the pressure on, in a good way, for you to have realizations, come to choice points, and make changes related to your OWN healing as being the priority of your life in order to serve love. The pressure actually comes from INside, from the soul and higher self frequencies coming into the body and igniting the higher heart. This embodiment process creates a pressure inside, a revelation of what needs to be healed….that leads to the changes on the outside.

Igniting the higher heart, the cosmic heart….this is the GRAND awakening and cutting edge of the ascension process. The higher heart is your healing heart on a personal level that then can connect into the unity heart or collective heart as it becomes more healthy. A very important aspect of this healing of your heart on the personal AND the collective level is through accessing your emotional body. Your emotional body contains so much undigested pain and woundings (often mostly NOT conscious to you yet perhaps hugely expressing in your life), which lowers your overall frequency and esp. lowers your heart beacon or frequency. Your heart frequency allows for intimacy, vulnerability, gratitude, and TRUE compassion for self and for others. The higher it vibrates, the more you can BE these things with yourself and with others and towards the WORLD.

Healing the heart is healing the emotional body, which has been largely ignored in most spiritual practices. Mainstream psychology and psychiatry mostly ‘drug and numb’ or ‘talk and block’ in response to the emotional body woundings and how they express. In SoulFullHeart, we connect with the wounded frequencies as parts of you and offer a deeply compassionate and loving way to BE with these aspects of yourself very directly and with feeling tones, not through the mind. As you respond in love (with the support of your SFH facilitator) to whatever fear is within you and your emotional body, so does it heal and move. This healing happens organically and beautifully over time as your soul self/higher self coming into your body holds space for this process. Parts of you don’t need ‘anti-feeling’ drugs; they don’t need numbing and distractions; they don’t need to analyzed without feeling…..what you most NEED is love and the capacity to BE there for yourself and to feel yourself and be felt by others who have done this parts work too on the heart and soul levels. Go here to read more about parts work, sessions with a SFH facilitator, etc: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions

I met for a session yesterday with a beautiful soul/facilitant yesterday who has been an energy healer/angelic channel for others for many years. It became very clear to us that while she has offered loving and soothing energies (such beautiful gentle presence!) to others and with animals too, part of her has been blocking her from offering these healing energies TO herself. Everyone else has been the beneficiary of her soul gifts and soul self OTHER than her. We felt together how important it is for her to offer energy healing to herself, meditate and connect with guides and her own parts, and be her own space holder around this every day.

I believe this is very common for healers/teachers and relates to the Inner Protector who is concerned and resistant to you feeling your own pain. It is OK to offer these gifts to others (it brings in money, it feeds a self image as a ‘healer’, it is good work and service), yet to focus on yourself is often a missing gap. You can feel and see signs of this gap if you are struggling to financially provide for yourself through offering your soul gifts, if you are in toxic or push-pull relationships with others, if your physical body suffers from disease or illness….and in many other ways.

These high vibe frequencies are supporting the ‘healing the healer’ phase for those who are stepping into and claiming their purpose to serve love here. The beautiful piece here is that the more self healing that happens through a process like parts work, the MORE pure love you can then offer to others. If that process of self love doesn’t happen, you are actually SHARING your lower vibrational, unfelt and undigested energies and emotions with the people that you are serving! I feel it is a BIG responsibility of ANY healer to go within and do their ‘inner work’ (to me, that would need to include parts work to truly be effective) to continue to qualify to offer healing with others. This especially relates to their emotional maturity and health of their emotional body which, again, has been mostly left out or bypassed in spirituality.

It is a phase of not bypassing anymore what is in need of our love. To recognize and relate with yourself FIRST, offering the love and support to YOU that parts of you have so been aching and craving before. You may even be ‘giving to get’…meaning giving others the love and healing that YOU are so needing actually. The Divine love and light energies are raising your capacities to provide this love and for the primary receiver of it to be YOU.

~

Jelelle Awen is an Emoto-Spiritual Teacher, Soul Scribe, waySHOWer, and co-creator and teacher of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. She is author of Sacred Human, Arising Wonder: Ascension Through Integration Of Your Emotional Body With Your Spirituality and  Keep Waking Up! Awakening Journeys To Avalon And Beyond . Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions with SoulFullHeart Facilitators, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

 

 

Beyond Redemption: The Search For Self-Forgiveness

Published on by Gabriel Heartman3 Comments

107

 

What if we are never redeemed? What if we are already redeemed?

These are words spoken at the end of the movie Wild that I watched last night, from the book authored by Cheryl Strayed.  They were words that seemed to go into me on a soul level as I have felt redemption being a strong theme in multiple lives.  When I was in my 20s an intuitive woman had said she told me I was living a life of  “redemptive suffering”. It all just made so much sense.  I could turn anything into a suffering loop.  A way to keep me from fully inhabiting the joys of life as if they were not permitted for me to have as much as I longed for them.

Through the process of accessing other Metasoul lives, I have been able to piece together a tapestry of lives seemed to revolve around this theme.  Choices that led to experiences that caused pain to others and taking that on as a personal cross to bear.  Then returning that pain upon myself in order to be redeemed in the eyes of a God that would accept me when the suffering was acceptable enough.  All the while not understanding the God I was asking for forgiveness from was ultimately me.

This idea of redemption and persecution is one that spans so many lives and souls.  It is one that can be a core wound for many.  The root of many of our personal unconscious choices.  A plot arch for many of our current soul playouts.  When we begin to become conscious of our Metasoul wounding do we begin to gain an understanding of who we are and what we would rather choose to be.  That we no longer have to unconsciously fuse to this karmic cycle.  We can connect to a larger story that is infinite in its possibilities.  But first we must feel the tug of the wound from these soul siblings and help to heal them into the largess of our own hearts.

As we start to feel these lives and access the gift they are presenting to us we can begin to see ourselves in a much different light.  We become more Light in fact.  We start to let go of the heavy emotional ties to those lives and hold them with the love of forgiveness they haven’t been able to give themselves.  The redemption was already bought and paid for. We were never “wrong”.  We were, or ARE, a part of a huge experiential learning ground where we lost track of that.  Got lost in the wild so we could find ourselves again with a new and larger vision of what we forgot we were.  The redemption aspects of us have been looking for already exist inside of us.

This may be a big part as to why some continue to stay in life situations that are not fully serving their greatest good.  This unconscious need to be less than in order to cash in on our soul IOUs.  It is becoming time to let go of that old story.  To go into the wilderness of our “history” and forgive ourselves for what has been serving fear and heal it into service of love.  For ourselves and others.  You have access to all of it inside that creative arena called your imagination.  It just needs to be negotiated with the part of you that guards this access.

Through this process a new world will open up to connect the dots you may currently may be unaware of.  The stories and timelines that have yet to be let go.  From there you can begin to unfurl the true gift of your inner Joy that is waiting to be remembered back into your heart and soul, remember where it was you actually came from, and what your true purpose is here on this glorious New Earth.

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual teacher, men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

 

You Keep Opening Your Heart

Published on by Jelelle Awen2 Comments

By Jelelle Awen

20264992_2180989812127276_3935730711292617709_n

You keep opening your heart. You do because it is WHY you are here. To open, to share, to risk….even, sometimes, to break. So it feels like, it is breaking in pieces and the parts that seem shattered speak to you then, offering, ‘This is me broken up. Will I ever come together again?’ They speak to you of loss that runs deep, much beyond this moment and even this present timeline and this current situation or circumstance. They flash you the slideshow scenes of previously forgotten pain that is now acutely aching again so you can understand it better, feel it, BE with it…..eventually be FREE from it.

You keep BEing with what is real, allowing space to feel it ALL. You keep feeling because on the other side of your pain is your joy. None of your rainbows come without your rainy days….You wait out the tearstorms, providing your own umbrella, your own shelter to weather it out as you trust this too shall clear.

You keep trusting the process. You trust it because it always moves to the other side eventually. Every movement offers the opportunity and possibility of moving on….even if it looks like ‘going in’ or looks like mourning. You hear ‘it’s time to move on now and let it go’ and so you do, your previously occupied hands now empty and ready to be held again by love…

You keep feeling the love that life is bringing, holding, offering you. You listen as Life says, “Keep opening UP, BEing with what is real and trusting the process. All that you desire and deserve is here, waiting until you are ready to receive it.”

~

Jelelle Awen is an Emoto-Spiritual Teacher, Soul Scribe, waySHOWer, and co-creator and teacher of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. She is author of Sacred Human, Arising Wonder: Ascension Through Integration Of Your Emotional Body With Your Spirituality and  Keep Waking Up! Awakening Journeys To Avalon And Beyond . Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions with SoulFullHeart Facilitators, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Everything You Feel Is Alive

Published on by Raphael Awen5 Comments

alive

By Raphael Awen

Everything you feel is alive.

The ‘negative’ feelings of pain or sorrow, or longing do not ‘negate’ anything. They are part of the truest thing about you.

If anything could be seen as a ‘negating’ energy in your emotional body, it would be the unwillingness to actually feel yourself and what is actually going on for you. Cut off from feeling your needs or having space to feel a loss, you are left disconnected from yourself and all that you are.

This ‘all that you are’ is a true portal into the deep more that you desire. It is also a mystery that cannot be explained or quantified or solved, but instead can be surrendered to, lived into, with curiosity and reverence.

If it is change you desire, would you be willing to feel this desire as deeply as you currently can? Would you tune in the feeling of the despair of not realizing that desire and then see where that leads?

It could be choices that were not apparent before that are steps towards larger choices, along with a strange new courage to act that wasn’t there before. It could be an opened well of self love springing up from the awareness that you get to feel all there is to feel. You get to be fully human in an ever expanding way. It could be the strange and overwhelming experience of seeing a universe of reality in a dandelion’s beauty, courage and super intelligence, only without a drug/hallucination kind of mediated opening.

You get to fall in love with yourself in ways that open you out to wonder and curiosity and love with others.

You get to also have the gift of others curiosity about you as you live into this same curiosity about yourself and each part of your being.

You get to suspend your answers long enough to re-open the very mutual QUESTions and deep vulnerabilities we all share.

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit  www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. You can make a one time donation to SoulFullHeart at https://www.paypal.me/supportsoulfullheart or visit our Patreon page to become a monthly supporter: https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Redefining Family From The Heart Up

Published on by Gabriel Heartman2 Comments

me and Shai

Today is the day that my daughter, Shai, comes to join us in SoulFullHeart community.  It is almost surreal, to be honest, even though she was here in February and we have been in contact quite a bit.  It is surreal because it will be her coming in her full authority and self-choice to be a part of this healing path and community.  Admittedly, she knows all of us and that makes it an easier choice but this was not always the case.

When we all decided to leave Canada nearly 3 years ago, Shai was firmly planted in her Vancouver world.  She had no desire to join us and go into the healing journey.  She was in a construction phase.  A time to individuate herself from us.  It is actually the way it really needs to be for someone in their late teens.  The difference is that we would not be in contact because the energy of our worlds would be so different and nearly impossible to relate to.  We both needed to go all into our worlds and lives and trust that if we were meant to be in healing and community together we would.  It was a very difficult process to be with as it is so not the norm in terms what is “normal” from our societal and familial conditioning.

My inner Dad had so many concerns and judgments about “leaving her behind”.  All the voices of my personal family and the collective family.  It was a codependency to self-image and also soul legacies of abandoning and being abandoned.  This provided a HUGE growth ground for both us.  She learned to navigate life on her own terms and being with her own challenges.  I got to feel very wounded aspects of myself that would be medicated with care-taking.  I got to feel myself as “not Dad”, but as a man on a journey to self-discovery.

Through our space apart we eventually got back in touch with each other sometime last year, but I couldn’t tell you how.  If we are all meant to be together in a soul family, the hows and whens just seem to arise.  We had touching and tear-laden conversations of reconnection and she began a process with Kalayna as she had been feeling a fairly empty emotional and spiritual life in Canada.  Being raised in SoulFullHeart like she was, makes it hard to really relate to a world that has a hard time feeling its own emotions, and she admitted it was hard for her to feel hers.

She eventually began to feel parts and was opening up a whole new world inside her that was not based on pleasing Mom or Dad, but about her own growth and bigness. Now, there are undoubtedly mom and dad pieces that we will be feeling together, but this is something she is taking on in  her own right.  It is a truly remarkable choice for someone at her age of 22.  She is a leader of a generation, along with Kalayna, and that is such a gift to us and the world.

Now we get to reinvent ourselves as father and adult daughter.  We get to heal the old dynamic to make way for a new more genuine one that is between two souls on a path together.  It is about teacher/student (of which she will be my teacher on many occasions), being mirrors to each other, and being in close intimacy as two human beings in reverence and soul bond.  We get to explore metasoul places together and I get to be a recipient of all her gifts, and she mine.  None of these were possible in the old ground as we were both capped in roles that we placed on each other.

This is a grand experiment as she will be reunited with her birth mother and father in a totally new dimension of experience.  Where does this happen on this planet?  It is so damn compelling and one that I am really excited to see where it leads.  There will be much to feel between us and that is what we are ready for.  Shai represents a new start for the SoulFullHeart community even as it too is all unknown how it will all develop. This is about redefining family from the heart up.   This a template for what could be for all birth families as each individual finds their own way and trusts the bond that exists to bring each back into more authentic heart and soul space if that is what is meant to be.

Much more to come in this new chapter of SoulFullHeart! Stay heart tuned.

If transformative healing and soul family resonates with you, I invite you to check out our website and sessions page to learn more.

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual teacher, men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.