Category: SoulFullHeart Healing Process

The Challenge And Gift Of Choosing Our Highest Calling

Published on by Gabriel Heartman3 Comments

 

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When you make a claim for your highest calling, the universe conspires in your favor. However, that doesn’t always mean that favor will be easy for parts of you. On the path and journey to that highest place within we will inevitably be asked to feel things we have been avoiding to feel. To let go of things that we have been afraid to let go of. And let in the love that parts of us are not used to or prepared for.

If being and serving Love is our highest calling then we are meant to be challenged in ways that doesn’t resonate with what a part of us has been attached to. We may be called to question our motivations, our habits, our relationships, and even our dreams. This is a very deconstructive process that reconditions us into a new altitude of experience that can be very hard to acclimate to. These parts of us, the energy in us that is still understandably attached to a story or picture, are being asked to let go of all that has been held sacred and comforting. There are no sacred cows left untouched in this process. It is ongoing until we have made the choices that reflect this higher calling on a consistent basis and it becomes a way of life to keep choosing, keep feeling, keep healing.

Every choice creates the life circumstances we are needing to feel, learn, and grow from. Those choices are made by the prevailing winds inside of us, be it fear or love. The question for some can be, what is the difference? That can be a muddied one if we don’t feel the differing energies inside of us and have a way to separate form them in a conscious way. This is the process of parts work and the gift that is bestowed in helping to sort out that question.

If you feel these rumblings, contortions, and differing energies inside of you, they are messages from your Higher Self to feel and heal these lower energies so that they may transmute and integrate into your most joyous and purposeful timeline on New Earth. They are birth pangs and they can hurt like hell. They can be scary and really overwhelming. This is the Quickening and you are being called to answer and choose. It is challenging but also very self-loving when we let the process take us where we are being asked to go. Only your authority will direct you there when you are ready

 

SoulFullHeart offers a path that is undergoing tremendous growth and renewal. It is offering a path that is grounded in a step by step process that can take you to the places only you choose to limit yourself to. It is ultimately a self-lead process where the facilitator is a guide and also a teacher of this powerful life altering experience. A free 30 minute session is available to all that feel the heart ping and curiosity to learn more. You can message me or Raphael Awen for further information. It would be an honor and a growth experience for us both to serve you.

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

 

The Doorways IN To Your Highest Heart

Published on by Gabriel Heartman1 Comment

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The questions resound.  “Why am I the way I am? Why do I feel the way I feel?” There are just certain things that we just can’t really put a mental finger on.  It is swirling curiosity that is wrapped in sometimes serious tones of frustration and depression.  This feeling that something is just “off” inside and you are just not totally You.  But what the hell does that mean?

Relief and discovery are your doorways IN….

Maybe there IS a clear sense of who you are but still can’t seem to get that You to align with what it going on around you. Either no one or very few around you can fully grasp what it is you are going through. This need to go deeper, to understand and feel more deeply as to what it is that you were meant to BE this life.

Alignment and deepening are your doorways IN…

You have all that you felt like you wanted but still feel dissatisfied. What once made you complete and happy just isn’t working its magic anymore.  There is the growing awareness that that there is so much more to experience and not necessarily “learn” or achieve.   The magic is wanting to come from the inside out and not the other way around. There is a niggle to set fire to it all and get to the heart of what it is that sets your passion ablaze.

Curiosity and desire are your doorways IN….

You see the writing on the wall.  What used to hold all the pieces of society together are in a state of collapse.  The game on the outside is quickly finding its demise and the transition may be rough for some.  But that is for those who have given over their power. Their choice. The fight and the rage are getting exhausting and the time for something new is so wanting fresh air.  There is a need to feel a sense of a bigger vision and opportunity into the future.

Empowerment and disillusionment are your doorways IN….

You are tired of doing this life all on your own.  You so much want to be in collaboration with others with like-heart and soul resonance.  You ache for a partner that can match and meet you in your need for passion and purpose. To set you ablaze with aliveness and challenge you with compassionate honesty.  No more playing in the wounded arena.  You are aching for relationship beyond the usual and normal.

Community and sacred romance are your doorways IN….

There is something we all came here to walk out.  An experience to have based on a theme or calling that our souls signed up for.  Your current life experience is all perfectly laid out specifically for you, by you.  They create crisis and uncomfortability as a means of opportunity to learn and grow along the path we have chosen that serves our Highest calling.  The nest that we consciously created is now getting prickly.  Even if the nest wasn’t all that bad to begin with! You are getting prickly. Nudged. Poked.

The doorways are in front of you.  They are held by parts of us that were created in order to “survive” life. Even our spirituality has been used as a survival tactic in many ways. The road back to our very thrival essence is a process of exiting and entering many of these doorways, just like the proverbial layers of an onion.  But these doorways often look like walls if we are fused to the fear of what it means to walk through them.

The first step is to be honest there is a wall. A fear. A resistance. From there the door presents itself and the choice points begin.  Feeling the fear inside and where they come from helps us to make that next step down the path we know we were meant to walk. But you are not alone in this. There are those who have walked through many of those doors. They very ones you see in front of you if you can see them.  The ones that you have heard a knock on. Let us answer that call together and see what is discovered and experienced on the way to what it is you were ultimately destined to Be and feel.

 

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

When The Heart Understands

Published on by Kasha Rosa3 Comments

by Kalayna Colibri

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It’s that ‘heart click’ time. Things that can’t be explained or broken down mentally are coming in now. It’s intuition that opens out from a deeper trust and also a feeling of faith in the lessons that come. This trust is bred from within, from feeling parts that don’t trust you or themselves but want to.

Click.

These moments when something dawns in the sky of your heart hold so much meaning. It is the opening of your compassionate understanding, starting with something finally making sense inside of you. “Oh… so that’s why I’ve felt this way for so long” are words are that will sometimes come to you on these waves of new found inner wisdom and self-discovery.

Click.

Parts of you have tried so hard to live life the way they’re used to, and this isn’t as possible anymore. They are getting tired. Some persona inside of you is wearing thin, wants a break, wants to rest, and may be having a hard time dropping its sword and all its very good reasons for having been there all this time. The outrage and resistance and sometimes also transcendence that you thought was ‘yours’, you can start feeling as belonging to a part or parts of you.

Click click.

These words about ‘parts’ may be starting to ‘click’ now too. This is that ‘heart click’ again, where something just feels true. It just feels like, yes, something inside of you is done with the weight it’s been carrying and probably burying too at times. This whole universe inside of you where many different parts ping in their beautiful though sometimes shadowy constellations of reaction and reticence, is somehow starting to make heart-sense now. Self-forgiveness arises, as you feel these parts in their reality and understand why they’ve been there, why they’ve chosen what they have as YOU, why they’ve acted or felt the way they have until now.

Click.

The love you feel for these parts of you now is the love you feel deepening for yourself as a whole. This love you feel can extend towards others more so now too. You can actually start to feel others without reticence for it. Your compassionate heart is naturally opening because you are regularly giving your own parts and heart what they need. You understand the need for healthy selfishness and you trust more that what is best for you will ultimately be what’s best for others too, even though ‘hurt’ may happen along the way. ‘Hurt’ is a roadmap and part of the sacred journey within. It’s a necessary piece in order to feel the parts that are in pain and have been in pain for a long time, though they may have found some pretty powerful ways to avoid feeling it and what’s at the core of it.

Click click click.

Judgements of others begin to lose their charge and fall away as you feel why they were there in the first place and also the parts that held these judgements start to rest around it all. You are morphing and changing and shifting. More ‘heart clicks’, more Ascension. It’s all coming, it’s all happening, and it’s a lot to let in. In moments of awakening inside, the ‘clicking’ feeling can be so powerful that it rushes through the bodies… emotional, spiritual, physical, social… astral. A lot is downloading as the mind races to grasp what it actually needs the heart to understand first.

And understand, the heart does. One ‘click’ at a time.

 

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Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Healing Your ‘Parts’, Embodying Your Spirituality Through SoulFullHeart

Published on by Kasha Rosa5 Comments

by Kalayna Colibri

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Every day, we enter another portal into the unknown. What will this day bring, look like, feel like? What will I experience today? What will I learn? Who will I meet? Will I realize another layer inside of my heart and soul that needs my love and attention? Will parts of me feel like they need something that they’re not quite getting in the moment?

I realize those last two questions may feel a bit foreign to you. No problem! I’m here to bridge and teach and serve love with you, and part of that is by leading something new and different, alongside my community of beloveds who are doing and embodying the same.

The reality of ‘parts’ was something that simply felt true to me from the beginning, which was about 5 years ago now. It was something that made sense. It explained the polarizations inside of me, my push-pull feelings toward this or that, how I could be immature and mature at the same time, and it unearthed so much about me – in the form of gifts and pain, both – that I wouldn’t have realized was there otherwise.

In SoulFullHeart, we work with ‘parts’ of us or subpersonalities that formed from trauma, from needing to find ways to blend in and survive in our surroundings and cultures. They are the result of abuse in many different ways, shapes, and forms, including from culture, from birth family, from spouses or significant others, and even from ourselves to ourselves… they are our coping mechanisms, our self-deprecating habits, our need to diminish others so we can feel bigger than we are in those moments. This is the key to healing the emotional body, a huge part of what makes us human and what I truly feel we are here to go into and heal through. The emotional body becomes an incredible portal and healing space. It holds the doorways into deeper places within that are waiting to be rediscovered, cultivated, loved. It also houses the means to experience spirituality beyond the mental learning of concepts, theories, and practices. Through our emotions and loving parts of ourselves, we can begin to feel what’s real for us about spirituality and consciousness, what could be blocking our access, and where it is we’d like to go next. It humbles us to this place of being able to let in what spirituality really is and what spiritual experiences and awakenings more deeply offer us – something far more visceral and heart-opening than we could have imagined or even theorized about before. It is an experience of pure love and the places where it brings us.

It’s sort of like a bridge appears after working with the emotional body for long enough and at a deep enough level, that shows us the passageway to higher consciousness. In this place, we can feel a trust in the bridge that maybe we couldn’t have felt before and we realize with each step across it, all of the ways in which this very bridge would have been impassable before.

From here the explorations are exponential, though tying it all back into the emotional body and parts of you is still important. This process never really ends, and in some ways just gets exponentiated over different phases, in different ways. Your newly inhabited capacity to FEEL is what leads to healing of different lives in your Metasoul line. Your heart is the place you can come back to, to bring these aspects of you back to, to rest, recharge, regroup, and heal.

As I mentioned before, my beloveds and I in SoulFullHeart offer this very thorough and deep work as a way to serve love. My heart is excited to welcome more of you into this process and community too.

For more information, visit http://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com ❤

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Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

 

 

Message From The Stars: Tuning Into Your Inner Symphony

Published on by Gabriel Heartman1 Comment

 

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Something on the horizon? Eclipse energies are in full force and this latest crop circle has a LOT going on! We are being asked to tune in to our heart minds and galactic consciousness and feel the messaging of the codes that are wanting to be downloaded. Yet these codes have a ton of energy attached to them which can create a bit of turbulence in our unhealed emotional bodies. I feel I have been moving through my own personal eclipse of the heart and soul to heal the blocks to letting in these high frequency energies that are another expression of love.

Our emotional bodies do create blocks that do eclipse the fullness of our soulfullhearted essence. It does so as a message back to YOU the conscious sacred human, that there is something to be felt. The light language in this picture is like the emotive language of our parts and metasoul aspsects. What is it they are trying to offer us, like the beings who created this are? I can choose to take this in in multiple layers that really open up a whole landscape of information and possibility.

I can feel my emotional body speaking to me along with my spiritual and galactic body. It is my, your, and our Higher Self that is messaging to us. If we tune our consciousness into those, a beautifully choreographed storyline emerges. However you are currently experiencing these energies, there is something that is being communicated to you. In SoulFullHeart we separate these energies out into different subpersonal and subspiritual tones, like the layered frequencies of of chord, one string at a time. When it is off tune, then you feel the dis-chord. The dis-ease. When you focus on each string within the chord, you can tune that one into alignment of your most authentic being. As each one tunes and integrates, the hum of your unique music is felt throughout the cosmic heart.

Maybe that is the message I am getting in the moment. It looks like a guitar! Hmmmm…intereting. It is also speaker. Amplifying the resonance or dissonance. The universe is calling for our resounding hearts to be strummed. This is a time to take stock of where you are in your current inner state and consider what aligns or doesn’t align with your authentic tune. It is not an overnight transformation. It is a process and anything less is railroading over something else to get to a finish line. SoulFullHeart offers that conscious tuning that brings all aspects of you into the orchestral pit. You are a symphony of High means and purpose! Unearthing and remembering that is what we came here to do, and not just alone. We are meant to do this together. It is in our DNA and part of our galactic heritage. I am here to continue that journey and serve it at the same time.

I am personally feeling to respond to serious inquiry about this community and way of life called SoulFullHeart. It is an invitation and an offer of something extraordinary in my personal, and very biased opinion. I am okay with that. I wouldn’t be a leader if I didn’t have that passion about it. I have always appreciated all the wonderful comments of resonance and gratitude. They fill my heart. Now is the time for something more in me that wants to be outed. The vision of the passion work that I am a part of and the desire to serve and be in community. That is my heart song being strummed into the galaxy. Let it resound where it is meant to with open heart and arms.

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

You Are Being Lifted UP Out Of Inner Violent Frequencies Inside And With Others

Published on by Jelelle Awen2 Comments

By Jelelle Awen

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“You are being lifted,” the familiar, wise voice inside said to me. This familiar voice could belong to any number of guides/Metasoul aspects that have been revealing themselves over the last years. It is becoming more of a conglomerate these days…less definable as a specific energy and more like a council or alliance or ‘board’ made up of frequencies of my Metasoul expressions that have come forward to support and help me during this intense transition time from 3D to NEW Earth.

 
“You are being lifted.” I heard this when I was woken up in the middle of the night by my beloved mate Raphael Awen suddenly gasping out loud and sitting upright in bed. He fell back down immediately and went back to sleep. I knew intuitively that he wasn’t fully conscious, yet in that ‘in between’ place of floating and drifting consciousness where the astral self likes to travel and much downloading is going on.
 
I was awake, lying in bed, then, feeling how something had activated for Raphael that was strong enough to jolt him out of deeper slumber and almost awake. We are deeply connected to each other, especially lately as more of our old timeline experience and past relationship moved out during the recent Lion’s Gate opening…….more of the old flushing out and we are inhabiting more of our NEW together as co-leaders and counter part sacred union mates. I didn’t feel a need to wake him up to digest as I felt trust that we already were connected in the higher realms where verbal communication isn’t really necessary.
 
Being lifted. Yes, that seems like a good way to describe what is happening to ALL of us on some level with these continual influxes and waves of HIGH frequency love light. We are experiencing all these life altering cosmic and celestial ‘events’ that are providing concentrated doses of the sensational stuff of which our sacred humanity is seeding and birthing from. How much we can consciously let in these love manifestation energies depends on what we signed up for here as souls; what our 3D conditioning has been and how deep our wounding goes and how deeply we have healed it; what our Metasoul is experiencing and what karmic patterns it is moving through for the collective.
 
“I want you to remember this,” said the voice again, which felt like Archangel Metatron, as he is the angelic aspect that is most invested in soul scribing communication and bridging to the ascension process. Plus, he can also be quite bossy….in a good way. “Lifting is important to communicate. It helps for more surrender, more trust, and less fear as this lifting process continues on.”
 
Fear can live in our bones, in our emotional bodies, in our DNA, in parts of us connected to our emotional bodies, in our Metasoul. And it comes out in ALL kinds of ways and expressions. It brings our frequencies lower. Parts of us shiver and quiver with it, sinking to a place where things seem untrustworthy, hurtful and harmful, non-vulnerable, dark and shadowy. We are ancient with it, beyond time ingrained and trained. We are gestating embryos in our mother’s womb swimming in fear fluids. The 3D matrix has been built and run on fear fuel, fed and maintained by violence – both within and outward – the lowest vibrational frequency of fear. Violence has become entertainment, so many souls on an IV drip of violence coming in, numbing them or eliciting outrage at the INjustice, which is just more violence in a shifted form.
 
Lifting UP beyond violence begins from withIN. It starts with becoming aware of the battles within, the harm done from one part of you to another, one punisher/critical energy beating up until shame floods your BEing with the suffering patterns and loops this creates. Loving the Inner Punisher energy and learning WHY it is like this….you weep, then, at how this punishing-shame frequency is just learned and necessary and NOT really who you ARE. You feel how it has served to make you small, to help you fit in, to keep you ‘capped’ and plugged in to 3D life. You are ready to be lifted out of it to transmute the punishment to discernment and intuition WITH love. To heal the shame into innocence again.
 
As this inner violence heals, you can come, more and more, from non-violent frequencies in response to others. You become less tolerant to violence in any form…..even sensitive to the subtle frequencies found in comparison, contention, judgement. You lift UP, then, as you stop eating, watching, BEing violence and become MORE love. You shift your focus from violence outside of you and discover, find, and feel where it lives inside. I am surprised where this message went today, yet, this is a repeating point that I’ve felt many times inside myself and in session space with others too.
 
BEcoming a beacon of peace is the openness to feel the violence, the battles, the clashes inside. Trusting that the lifting UP from the Divine will come in the process of this as more space clears in your emotional body to make room for your higher heart, Christ Consciousness heart….made of Infinite Kindness, Infinite Peace, and no fear.
 
~
 
Raphael and I will be offering lifting UP energies related to sacred union within and with a mate during a group call this Sunday, August 27th at 11:11amPST, for which we’d love for you to join us: facebook.com/events/254241058395276
Jelelle Awen is an Emoto-Spiritual Teacher, Soul Scribe, waySHOWer, and co-creator and teacher of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. She is author of Sacred Human, Arising Wonder: Ascension Through Integration Of Your Emotional Body With Your Spirituality and  Keep Waking Up! Awakening Journeys To Avalon And Beyond . Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions with SoulFullHeart Facilitators, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

The Importance Of BEing With And Integrating ‘Lower’ And Shadow Aspects Of Yourself During Ascension

Published on by Jelelle Awen3 Comments

By Jelelle Awen

 

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“I’m not sure that I fit in your world. I am too ‘low’. I am at times too ‘negative’. I still have pains from the past and wounds too. I still ache in deep places. I struggle to forgive at times. I struggle to feel compassion for myself and for others. I chase ghosts and shadows too. How can I find a place in your bright world? It feels like sunshine after so much darkness to me. I really need the love but I don’t know if I am worthy of it. I don’t know if I fit in.” These words are from the aching hearts of the parts of us that suffer, live in shadow, have journeyed so far and so long in this 3D experiment. They are wanting to be in the ‘world’ of our growing and awakening 4D/5D self, yet feel a deep unworthiness around how they can possibly fit into this high vibration. Inner Punisher energies inside just ‘reinforce’ this message and waves of shame shut down and suppress the desires for love.

I heard and felt this in myself the last couple of days as I am BEing with a part of me that has taken in much, been through much, many death and rebirths as my soul/higher self continues to come into my body through the awakening process. Many tears came up as I felt this energy inside myself. This part has textures of my 4D self…..this part of me is named Jillian, which is my birth name and the name I choose to go by when I began my awakening journey through parts work in earnest about 15 years ago. I was called Jill before then, who I now feel was more my 3D self. These distinctions of 3D from 4D matter much less than just BEing open to feeling all there is to feel with these aspects of ourselves.

Jillian ‘came up’ strongly yesterday in response to conflict energies flushing out between Raphael and I as we move into a deeper co-leadership phase together offering our service of love through SoulFullHeart and as we are also feeling a geographic shift from Mexico to the United States as a community. We are being called to deeper, wider, bigger service together and this new ground and call is bringing up ‘older’ frequencies in our relationship for us to feel. Raphael and I have been together for nine years…..years marked by much change, transition, letting go, healing of gender wounding, and awakening. Our process together (held by a deep love and respect for each other) is to feel where parts of us have fixed into ‘work arounds’ with each other rather than arising into the new. This is can be challenging to navigate together and parts work is a huge heart line, life line for us, along with the loving support of our community and our Metasoul aspects/guides.

We feel a part often comes up as it is ‘triggered’ or ‘constellated’ (as Carl Jung called it) by an outside source or mirror (especially in romantic relationship.) When I felt ‘old’ reactivity come up in me with Raphael, I went in and felt Jillian, who I had not connected with consciously in a while. The frequencies of Jelelle/soul self coming into my body have been the strongest energy over the last year and I have made much space for this integration of them into my BEing in order to step more fully into my service of love here. Inviting Jillian back into my space did not mean that I was ‘going backwards’ or suddenly ‘falling behind’, yet rather that there was enough love and light in my heart and soul to hold her and make space for her now.

In my experience, no aspects of us can really be suppressed or avoided. If they need us, their energies will flood our field when our emotional bodies are triggered to release them and push them up. If we are open to feeling and BEing with these energies and NOT suppress them or transcend them with bliss/higher frequencies (which is very tempting to do), then we get the gift of integration. THIS integration is what I feel is the ultimate reason and purpose of ascension…to become sacred human, to bring our humanity and the most trailing edge expressions of it into the love light of our Divinity.

In SoulFullHeart, we support you in this up and down integration/bridging through sessions, group calls, retreats, community, and a process that we have spent many years living out as our daily reality. This integration process is very challenging at times and it feels to me nearly impossible to do by yourself. More information here about what we offer if you are drawn to go on this journey with us at your side and you at ours:soulfullheartwayoflife.com/services

Ascension is not just about upward movements…..not about a grand sweeping ‘moment’ of deliverance where ALL we experience from then on is bliss. It is an integration of the tough and the painful with the healed…… the difficult and the barely recovered from with the moved beyond. It is the going down in order to let in more UP. The loving of what we have been with ALL of our hearts in order to invite it into something new and beyond. Bridging to our emotional body WITH our soul frequencies and receiving of the gifts of our heart in the process of this. Making room for these parts of ourselves in our ‘higher’ world brings us in touch with the core of our humanity, which is what we came here with Gaia to experience in this now of ascension where we experience more and more our essence as Infinite Love in sacred human form!

~
Raphael and I are hosting a group call on Sunday, August 27th about sacred union where we will share more about our experience together of parts work/differentiation inside and with each other:https://www.facebook.com/events/254241058395276/

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Jelelle Awen is an Emoto-Spiritual Teacher, Soul Scribe, waySHOWer, and co-creator and teacher of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. She is author of Sacred Human, Arising Wonder: Ascension Through Integration Of Your Emotional Body With Your Spirituality and  Keep Waking Up! Awakening Journeys To Avalon And Beyond . Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions with SoulFullHeart Facilitators, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

In The Humble Service Of Love, We Serve Ourselves Too

Published on by Kasha Rosa3 Comments

by Kalayna Colibri

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As I hold space for others, so I hold space for myself.

As the journey unfolds with a facilitant and within my relationship with this facilitant, I feel more ‘me’ that arises and surprises too. I feel teachings escape my lips, coming from a place higher than where it has felt that maybe my head and heart have been in recent hours, minutes or days. I feel offerings full of love that move within me, sometimes bringing me to tears as I feel my beloved facilitant’s tears too. Together we feel the magic of the moment, of the movement stirred within her, that is somehow stirring within me too. I feel her, I feel me, I feel how we are connected to each other, yet also to something bigger, something ‘ahead’ yet not ‘above’ us, that dances in collaboration with our hearts and souls in this sacred space we call ‘SoulFullHeart sessions’.

We pilgrim to this place, this Mecca within and held too in community group spaces together, dining or checking in or both. We journey here through the heart, with the mind, engaging all facets, all aspects, all parts of our being. We bring all we are to the table, we work to build this altar of inner ‘god/goddess’ worship through many tears, many words written down, many feelings deeply felt. All awakenings along the way are markers, big or small, of where we have gone and where we are continuing to go. All birth canals are just that… deep breathing that allows for contractions within our being, bringing about new meanings, new places to see and feel the world from, new ways to see and feel ourselves and the magic of our inner worlds. The shadows have magic in them too. They help to show the light, they illuminate where the love still needs and wants to go, they bring in more of what we need to feel MORE loved, MORE ‘up’.

I am always humbled by what comes when I hold session space with another who is engaged in this work. I am humbled by their journey that is unfolding, unearthing before me, within them, in my presence, in the presence of the Divine, of curious Star Beings, of Archangels, of Metasoul Aspects, of as-yet undiscovered parts who are waiting in the wings for their moment to hold center stage in this healing place of inner worship and love. Wow. Nothing beats this… nothing compares to all that is learned through this. Here there is no kNOwing, only feeling. Sometimes pure feeling, without words. Pure spaces of really letting in love, sometimes for the first time, or what can truly feel like the first time.

I keep learning as my facilitants learn, about themselves, about the world, about spirituality, about what it means to be human, but most of all, what it means to be THEM. They keep leaning as I do, into me, into my experience that has placed me ‘ahead’ of them for this phase at least, into the Divine, into an arising heart that is growing and healing and expanding inside of them and inside of me too.

I am blessed to be in this place, holding this space with others walking and feeling this out. I am blessed to share it as a process for me too, just as it is a process for them. The crucible of leading, of teaching, of serving love, is a deep calling that flows inward and outward, both, like the most sacred river you will ever feel, ever find, ever kneel before and drink from with the most reverence you have ever felt in your life. I have the honour of serving love, of feeling more of the love that I am, and getting a front row seat to witness that unfold inside of another.

For me, this is what it means to serve love in this phase of my life. To wear my humble robes of experience, to wade through the self-doubts that surface from parts and Metasoul aspects of me that actually need this crucible in order to heal. Incredible. Divine. Sacred. I am in love… and more and more, I feel like I AM love.

Another corridor awaits and at each turn there is more.

And here we go, into it ALL, with it all, loving it all, and then some. ❤

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Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

The Multi-Dimensional Dance Of Soul And Heart Maturation

Published on by Kasha Rosa1 Comment

by Kalayna Colibri

flying heart

It’s an odd dance for me today and lately, of feeling both here and not here, both overwhelmed and as if I am in abundant joy to the point where I want to yell in some sort of orgasmic ecstasy… this push-pull sensation between the unknown and the known. The sort of acquaintance I have had deep in my soul with being a ‘young adult’ and taken care of by many though there was always an ache to be independent of this too. It’s a polarization of wanting to mature, to have my heart grow and open and beacon OUT in the service of love and a tug on the inside that still wants to stay small, stay ‘young’, find a mom and maybe a dad too to take care of all of my major needs. At times this ‘parent’ on the outside has been drawn through a boyfriend or a best friend. Sometimes it has pulled on aspects of my beloveds too, needing challenges that would come from a parent shaping their child, wanting to be guided in all choices instead of seeking the guidance within and getting messy when necessary. I think some of the more chaotic phases of my life have come as a result of this polarization, this feeling of both wanting to BE so much more of who I AM and am becoming, and yet being content on some level to find my smallness again too through circumstances and relationships and even jobs as well.

I’ve had plenty of ‘adulthood’ templates cross my path. Many of which parts of me have rebelled against, wanting to find their own way. At times it has been a relief to feel that someone has been wherever I am at a given moment before and can offer me wisdom from the place of having walked through it. And yet, at other times, the relief has not come as then these moments seem to ‘rob’ a part of me of being able to experience it all on my/her own too. To prove that maybe there IS another way that it can all turn out… inevitably, we all have to walk out our own circumstances in a way that fits with our soul and heart maturity level. This is supposed to shape our destinies in different ways than maybe we’ve ever seen or noticed before. This is daunting and empowering, both.

Some of this is the ‘Indigo dilemma’ it feels like, or at least this is what I feel to call it in the moment. It’s this inner drive to change pretty much everything about how the world works or has worked until now. It often comes out as a desire to set fire to systems and sometimes even leaders themselves… maybe not literally, but I can definitely own that in my shadow there have been moments of wanting to at least spit fireballs at leaders through a few well-chosen words. Even as I write and digest this, I can feel different Metasoul aspects of mine that live in different dimensions and eras but have been a part of some major moments in the world’s history, including wars and also the co-founding of different dimensional mystery schools such as Avalon or at least its early stages… at any rate, this spitfire way of approaching what’s happening and has happened globally feels like it actually comes from a much deeper core wound inside of my Metasoul that I and I’m sure many other Indigos are actually working at this very moment. It’s this feeling of, ‘I have to grow up (‘ascend’) HERE? In THIS place?? Where no one really listens to each other, let alone what I have to say?’ It has a bearing on our self-worth, a ring to it that hurts to feel as it hits deeper and deeper. We are feeling collective pain and angst and also our own. All souls everywhere, or at least those awakening now, have seen, felt,  experienced much through their own Metasoul experiences, let alone this life (which can be a loaded cannon for many too, in and of itself). To feel OUTraged is actually quite easy, but to bring it back inward and feel what’s going on at deeper levels of our being, THAT is the challenging part…

I feel that some of this global maturation process is about embracing our multi-dimensionality and our parts too. It is about really looking at ourselves, even and especially when tempted to blame someone or something on the outside of us. Transformation is an inside job, really. It is a course of owning that we aren’t quite ‘there’ yet in terms of being completely healed, feeling humbled enough to drop the self-righteousness and LOOK at what still needs the waters of self-love to be nourished and keep on growing up and opening out. I do feel this up and down feeling of being at times in a rapidly moving elevator heading one direction or another yet mostly UPward, is a necessary crucible for embracing deeper abundance and love. There is a pending expiration date on our smallness, a time when the toddler clothes or teen clothes just don’t fit anymore… it’s a time to keep moving into the more ‘adult’ skins that may feel as if they hang loosely for a while until they are fully grown into my our purifying and growing sacred human hearts. I’m still not quite sure what it means to truly ‘adult’ in this world, in an authentic way for my ‘age’. Yet more and more I can feel what it is not or does not feel to be at least for me and the stage I am at in my process and growth.

Maybe somehow, someday, it just all clicks into place. Maybe it never really does, or at least not for long. I’m okay with the unfolding mystery of that. I’m okay with even feeling this tension of the unknown, as I so trust there is another side to it AND I feel how the Divine doesn’t really know either. I feel in this with you too, you taking this into your own heart and soul, feeling it for yourself perhaps. We are creating all of what we want more of in every moment we choose to do so and in that, we are already inhabiting more and more of who we are truly meant to be and become too!

 

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Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.