REALLY Showing Up For What YOU REALLY Want.

no-time

By Raphael Awen

What would YOU show up for in life, REALLY show up for, given the opportunity?

Asking the first question leads to second one that goes something like this ‘Well, I know I have it in me to REALLY show up for something, but I know myself enough to know that I would only REALLY show up for something heart and soul, ALL IN, if it REALLY called to me,…so what then is it that I REALLY want?’

Awesome QUESTion! What IS it that YOU…REALLY… WANT?

The entire universe literally awaits your answer to that question. The next great literature of the world will be written from your ‘literalizing’ of this quest and question inside of you.

To enter this quest, and have life and love as your SPONSOR giving YOU all you need to undertake this quest depends upon your literalizing of this offer that life and love are extending to you. Life can offer and even offer inspiration, but it cannot go beyond that, or it would be diminishing your power and learning. What’s more, rescuing YOU in this way of choosing for you would kill the fun and adventure that YOU signed up for as well. Life sees YOU in an exciting and ‘funnest-fun’ kind of adventure. This of course appeals to all of us, from the part of us who may only be seeking a bit of medicative distraction from boredom, all the way to the part of us wanting to blow the doors off of our limited life picture who resonates at a deep soul level with these words.

My truth is that for everyone of us, if we are here and breathing, that breath itself is alive with opportunity that is calling to us, and it is calling us on an EPIC level to step into our next pieces. Only YOU can know what that is even if it’s just a sniff of your next step. The YOU-ni-verse is in that sniff. Until there is action on that sniff, YOU are actually telling the universe and your guides that YOU aren’t ready to move. YOU are using your sovereign power of your sovereign being to ‘decide, decree and declare’ to the universe and all of its subjects that YOU will be remaining where YOU are…that you’re not REALLY going to be showing up for anything.

So I ask again, what would YOU show up for in life, REALLY show up for, given the opportunity?

Can you see here that the question isn’t any longer about the ‘given the opportunity’ part? That was just a ruse coming from the part of YOU bent on staying stuck, making it look like that owning your power was predicated upon an outside chance opportunity coming your way, as if it wasn’t staring you in the face, impatiently waiting. Life itself IS the opportunity.

I’ve wrestled with this QUESTion time and time again. This one, you and I won’t ever actually ever fully get. You are an infinite being on an infinite exploration. THAT’S MAGICAL! You’re not going to run out of excitement, engagement and ‘next pieces’ if you take up this offer life is extending you. It will call upon every emerging ounce of your courage as you know it. Surprisingly though, you ‘blowing your wad’ on courage, going all in, won’t deplete your courage, but en-courage you to take on the next piece, and the next one after that.

If you see a next piece together with me, or with SoulFullHeart, that’s exciting to me! I’m out today sniffing my next pieces to REALLY show up for. If you are a man reading this, I’d like to offer you, from my universe, a possible ‘next piece’ in the Men’s Group Call on the Sacred Masculine coming up this Saturday that I’m leading along with Gabriel Heartman (details below). This in itself is a portal into a new world. Yes, there are many to choose from, but nothing moves in your kingdom or mine until choice occurs. But when it does,… watch out!

Your choice and a donation of any amount gets YOU in this sacred space with Gabriel and I and the rest of the MEN wanting to REALLY show up for themselves. I’m REALLY in if you are! 🙂

Here’s the men’s call event:https://www.facebook.com/events/1257237587706349/

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our patreon page to make a donation to support our work at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

The Humility Of Really Feeling Our Emotions: Indigo, Crystal And Rainbow Souls Blog Series

by Kalayna Colibri

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There’s a certain amount of sanctity and sanity we preserve by NOT feeling, at least until the layers on top of our true feelings begin to give way and dissolve because of pressing life circumstances and swelling emotional reactions – THEN it can become insane-feeling, as chaos is created outside of us, pushing these feelings up even more as they call out for our attention. This is true for ANY soul ANYwhere. The piece here for Indigos, Crystals and Rainbows is much the same as for any awakening soul and heart – NOT feeling how we really feel becomes the much crazier choice than actually letting ourselves in. Yet too, there is something here that may be time-bomb-baked inside of us when we are in these soul groups, alerting us to this need for changes INSIDE of us at a much younger age because we are here to do so much work as leaders and healers.

I don’t hold any elitist sort of feeling around claiming I’m an Indigo. I actually feel it kind of lightly. For me it feels like a bridge and also a helpful explanation as to why I care so much about my growth and living into my soul purpose when I’m only just turning 30 this year. I became a “seeker” at age 14, which led me to a desire to serve others and feel my capacity to do so. However, this came in with some shadow pieces like arrogance and self-righteousness too and even in my already-cultivated self-awareness, I still wasn’t quite touching these and others, like entitlement, and narcissism, to name a few. This has been a part of the soul package I came wrapped in and some big things to work this life. I signed up for SoulFullHeart at age 24 because I wanted to work these things… taking breaks between then and now so that I could humbly go into life without consciously holding a process from time to time, which only illuminated more for me in the end. Once you sign up for the bullet train of deep healing, there really is no going back, try as parts of you might… 🙂

It took many reflections, some very hard to take in, for me to truly feel humbled, or rather, for parts of me to truly feel humbled and really start to feel what was really going on for them. There are soul wounds and also this-life, human wounds to feel too. These words of “arrogant”, “entitled” and “narcissistic” did NOT go in easily and there has been a lot of pain in even having to see myself in this light. What has been harder is feeling how  TRUE these words have been for parts of me who haven’t been challenged on their ways of being in life before! Until meeting Raphael and Jelelle Awen, I hadn’t had a single relationship with another teacher, healer, parent or friend who could bring these pieces to me and if they did, it wasn’t with love and compassion, but judgement from the parts of them who are the same way. I can’t explain to you the difference between these two experiences. It’s really something to feel for yourself. ❤

Feeling our shadow and what’s underneath it is an important aspect of the process of going within. What has appeared to be “in shadow” inside of us is actually a whole lot of pain that wants to surface and be healed. There are immense gifts on the other side of all tears shed when feeling our shame, hurt and even rage. As our layers of inner and outer protection melt away because we are finally safe enough to really feel ourselves and our parts, we feel these movements and realizations come to us with fluidity on waves of love that come from outside and inside of us too. It is a humbling process, to unravel deeper and deeper knots and layers protecting the precious yet strong vulnerability of the Sacred Human seed inside… the seed that is meant to grow, flourish and serve love to so many others!

Parts of me have needed to be how they’ve been – there is so much to push away from in our cultures and birth family conditioning and understandably, there is also a lot to protect ourselves from…until there isn’t, that is. Being emotional is still not a fully-embraced thing inside of many, though arguably it’s becoming more and more so as more of us awaken and can no longer deny how we really feel about anything or anyone, dark or light, or while in chaos or stillness or somewhere in between. During this ascension process, this is all being pushed up as light codes and astral influences constantly invite us to really SEE and FEEL ourselves in a much deeper way, illuminating the places where we still need healing and more authentic love flow. If you sign-for some help with this from SoulFullHeart, everywhere you need to go with become illuminated and we get how hard this can be to feel through. It is a deep healing practice and while there is so much joy, there is also much sobriety as the transformation it offers you really does start within and flow outward to every other area of your life.

Indigos, Crystals, Rainbows and the like are at an advantage age-wise and also soul-wise. We signed up to wake up early and to draw to us the paths that would help with that. Becoming more and more humbled to where our paths are taking us and that we DON’T truly know ourselves in earnest until we’ve really felt our shadows be challenged by someone holding up a mirror with LOVE behind it, is so important if not critical if we are really here to help awaken and lead others. We must first awaken to OURSELVES, let alone ascension, let alone Gaia, star beings, or anything spiritual. The heart truly is where the journey deeply begins and where all legs of it ultimately return to. And there is no other path quite like the one that really embraces and supports an ongoing exploration of our inner worlds, without an “end” place where you can declare ourselves fully-healed, and with plenty of juice for the journey inward and upward. ❤

***

Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, writer, and poetess. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Queen Sheets On A Double Bed

by Kalayna Colibri

meiying-ng-71590

 

Growth beyond the place we inhabit now

comes in wave forms and reshaping of dreams

intentions

and ways of feeling the self

BEYOND the self…

 

Climbing higher and reaching further

inside

creating a launch pad within an incubator

finding ignition switches in the heart.

 

A growing UP while expanding OUT

increasing all capacities learned and borrowed and agreed to

taking it all to a fireplace hearth of love

for the inner moments

movements

trials

and triggers

that serve the aching, baking

WAKING way

of relearning-ness

and most importantly…

re-LEAN-ing-ness.

 

A ledge of fortified former disguises

now un-guiled, not forgotten

spring forth all that’s needed

to fill the new space

created within…

 

There’s a nest there now

built exquisitely for one

yet with added room for two…

without need for stretching

or pressing

at anything yet immutable.

 

The new new-ness of you

arising and rising and surprising YOU

brings with it that beautiful opulence of well-tasted sunshine

integrated in the being of your being.

 

There’s no place it cannot spread now

that love blanket you’ve found tucked away

for it goes and grows and flows and flowers

in ways unknown

yet completely felt

in service of you

and reverence of ALL…

 

Who is this YOU that shines like the sun

in all its crystalline beauty and bigness?

Who is that Queen, that King

that rises first in your being,

TO your being

before being discovered

in the eyes of others?

WHO does this feel like it could be

even in those darker places of small enclosures

with tightening walls

and a sunless, reactive sky?

 

The you in there

holding court through storms

tumults and tirades…

THAT you calls forward

the way through it all

with a sanity yet to be fully known

yet one the soul recognizes

to be all its own.

 

This… this becomes that oversized bedsheet

meant to hold all corners without strain.

THIS is what it means

to be the container of love,

for yourself and selves…

spreading without tearing

becoming bigger in a soft expanse

of gentle holding and soothing balms.

 

The moment this begins

all power in your inner world

gathers and offers itself

as a reality beyond weapons

chaos

craziness

and a stable holding of a love

fit for all that is inside you

and all that you desire

and all that is to come…

 

 

***

Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge and healer, writer, and poetess. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Let Go The Rope

untethered

 

If I had the words, I would build a bridge for you

 

Yet the feelings are beyond words
As no thing, no utterance, no colour
Quite stands for what I want to say.

 

My expression lives in the hindsight of opportunities passed
No chariot can I bring
To take you there.
No horse can I mount
To beckon you to my side.

 

No moving object with forward thrust
Except the mothership of time
Space
Love
Can take us where we need to go
Together
Separate
As one in the same, but different.

 

If I had the syllables, I would hammer you a bridge.
I would sing you a summons of rocky foundations
And dance you a twining of steady ropes and wood.

 

I would howl at the moon
To bring about change
As feelings ripple through reality.
I would touch your heart
And caress your soul
As I take your hand to mine.

 

Yet then, it isn’t up to me…
So I let go of the line
Trusting that it’s there
To grasp onto when you need it
Or when I need it
Or when life wants me to lead with it.

 

…And maybe it’s not my job to construct a bridge for you,
And the search for you is like a treasure hunt
Maybe even one you don’t realize you’re on.

 

The map is in your subconscious hands
Being navigated by a vessel made by and for love.
A love you have yet to know consciously
But it moves you just the same.

 

And then…I realize you are your own treasure
Wholly sacred
Despite protests and messages
That tell you you aren’t.

 

If there is anything I wish to give to you,
It is the gift of your already growing consciousness
Becoming more conscious
In every waking and sleeping moment
Of your very blessed life.

 

And for now…
For now I let go the rope that binds you to my word
For my word is not yours
And my voice can be but echoes
Of what is already inside you
Waiting
Waiting
Wanting to leave its once comfortable nest To find its rest in places of highest being Strongest calling and deepest healing.

 

There is a forest where we two shall meet once again,
An oasis of authentic love,
A heaven that is always with us
A haven of true faith
Where what binds us is healed
And what bonds us can finally be revealed.

 

***

Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge and healer, writer, and poetess. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

No More Waiting To Live

51

When I awoke today, suddenly nothing happened

But in my dreams, I slew the dragon

And down this beaten path, and up this cobbled lane

I’m walking in my old footsteps, once again

And you say, just be here now

Forget about the past, your mask is wearing thin

Let me throw one more dice

I know that I can win

I’m waiting for my real life to begin

from Waiting For My Real Life To Begin by Colin Hay

 

These words found there way to me through an interesting route that is so feminine in its nature.  Seemingly random thoughts and exchanges that landed a song into my dock.  I was feeling into what I wanted to write about today and this song hit a chord and I felt to play it and see what tune it sings.  

For those that are in more 4D consciousness, whether just entered or are seasoned veterans (interesting choice of words), there can be this sense that something hasn´t quite shifted on the outside to reflect the growing awareness of what feels true on the inside.  There can be this feeling of looking toward the horizon waiting for something to happen.  In the song, he also uses the words `I have a plan` and `times are just lean`.  There is an externalization, a projection onto life, that it is not on our side or we need to take control in someway to create a desired outcome that hasn`t arrived yet.  That the passion and desire inside are conditional to some set of external circumstances that have to occur in order to be set free.  

I remember this well in my own journey, feeling stuck in a `good career`. Trying to seek many different ways to make it all okay even as I was still `walking down the same ol` cobblestone streets`.  What was needing to happen was what the song suggested and that was to be in the moment and go into your heart. Feel what was really trying to be felt and expressed.  Nothing on the outside could make that any better.  It was I that had to make the journey in and listen to my soul.

The waiting was just a suffering.  A denial to really feel what was evidently true but a part of me was afraid to admit.  A more wounded masculine need to control something in order to resist what was true.  By going more still and surrendering to the feelings, I could allow these feelings to arise and be held in space created by a more solid me and the much needed support of another to hold that truth until I could do it on my own more regularly.  Feeling the fears and resistances to claiming my own power from with.  True empowerment.  Not control.  

Being in a more Yin space helps to feel how parts of us are so afraid of actually letting go of a conditioning or a relationship that is keeping us stuck and in state of suffering.  There many that have done that for themselves and there are those, like myself, who needed support. It is not a sign of weakness but of strength.  Leaning IN order to raise UP.  Support and guidance comes in all forms.  The key is to seek it so that you may help heal it.  I can feel how this can be more difficult for men than for woman but that may be shifting as more men continue to find the value of going in and feeling all there is to feel to stop the waiting and start the living.  
That is what I wanted.  Tired of the mask.  Tired of pretending. Tired of the waiting.  Because there is no time than NOW.  But I hold so much gratitude for that suffering because it brought me to a more authentic place of BEing and living.  It made the alleged comfortable very uncomfortable, so that there were only two choices…and then really only one.  Let go and Go IN.

Gabriel Heartman is a teacher, facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  You can learn more about him at www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com

INside Starts The “Day”

by Kalayna Colibri

ying yang beach

THIS is the Yin-in time

before the penetrative sun

blazes high and hot

giving heat and depth to activations

of all who keep from blocking it

out.
 

This is the “time”,

the phase of a “day”,

when waves are gentler along the beach.

As we rise from sleep

We feel our first rumblings

of a day blessed

and starting from withIN.
 

How will we choose

to begin our inner “day”

“today”?
 

Sand love, ocean love, pigeon love,

SELF love…

ALL surrounding as I enfold myself

in me and in Gaia.

BEing in quiet…

except for the writhing and steady ocean waves

(the Yang needs to be here somehow

and so does the more penetrating aspect of Yin).
 

Words float in

on the wings of fluttering feelings.

An opening out of heart

after a few “days”

of cave-IN process,

BEing and FEELing some buried-ness

inside.

Providing a Yin nest for thrashings

wailings

tiring, running-out-of-ground

life strategies,

old, beating, relationship to self

that must be burned away now

to let in the balm

that was always waiting

with soft, warm blankets

and silk pillows.
 

I feel MY love.

I feel HER love

and HIS…

and I dream of a “his” love

that’s on its way

as he continues to find love

in himself

and me

in myself.
 

We wake up every “morning”

yet we wake throughout each “day” too…

in triggers

joys

ups, downs, flatness, no-thing-ness…

sleepiness, weariness, nappy-ness,

LOVE-ness…

ALL BEing-ness!
 

Invitation and love and ness

and THRIVAL beyond SURVIVAL,

sharing intimacy THROUGH self

WITH others.

No victims,

only powerful choices

with outcomes

and INcomes…

welcome and not

yet always, ALL ways

frought

with all we need

to enter a new birth

of renewed life

and rediscovered

recovered

LOVE! ❤
 

***

Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge and healer, writer, and poetess. Find out more about the SoulFullHeart Way of Life at www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com

Whispers Of Yin

by Kalayna Colibri

Yin Picasso

This stunning image is an oil painting by Pablo Picasso

The free-flowing

free-to-BE feminine.

 

In ALL her curves

uncontained, untethered, unchained

a Yin fireplace with no cap

a place for energy

to locate and rumble through

before it too flows onward

through the passageway

of allowance

encouragement

empowerment without icons

of false power.

 

To be worn loosely

without control

yet with the most exquisite

movements of unknown choreography.

 

There is no plan to the Yin dance.

No prediction so correct

no way of being so learned,

so educated, so minded, and bound…

 

Only free words on a page,

and unsaid in the air

in the energy of true lovers

in the worship and reverence

of the light between soul friends

sisters

student-teachers, teacher-students

brothers

and those kin who find their way.

 

The Yin is a journey

without beginning, end or in-between.

An arisement of forever ISness

and LOVEness

Lovely and beloved

yes

but also tepid, intrepid

curious, passionate

fiery when necessary

yet soft and supple at its

coreless, corsetless

core.

 

It cannot be packed into a bottle

or locked in a cage

wild and not

tame and yet still not

but an IS that cannot un-BE

and shall forever reign

rain

living, loving and dignified

in each self that claims

an arising desire for more of IT

for more of THEM

for more of that garden

of growth

and forever softening stillness.

 

The dance’s dancer, yes.

The musician’s music, yes.

The way of the no-way

and the inward-bound traveler

of perpetual flow

movement

and onward spiraling

in a circle of circles

and never-ending cycles

that change and upend

and give unto the weary

a renewed ember

of climbing fiery light.

 

There is no kNOwing, only kNOWing

this energy of all no’s and yes’s

that bring it all together

in any way it pleases

and any way it wishes

in support of your deepest

heart

and all it holds within it.

 

I am in your music.

I am in your words.

I am the co-creator

and the unknowing, unknowable

eager experimenter

wanting to help you SEE

what you can’t…

 

I am that energy you yearn for

quite often in your own mothers…

The inspiration, the beloved love

the core of all you wish for

I hold WITH you…

 

You are the one I call

each moment of awakening

waking up to see and feel

the intangible yet very real

YOU – Arising! Claiming!

BEing!

 

***

Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge and healer, writer, and poetess. Find out more about the SoulFullHeart Way of Life at www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com

Love’s Taking Center Stage

by Kalayna Colibri

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I’m rebooting, re-calibrating, re-aligning myself to love’s flow in a new way. A way that holds a name change for me as my life broadens and my heart expands, letting in, breathing out, letting go, breathing in…

This is ascension. This is life. This is life with ascension in it… or ascension with LIFE in it. This is where it wants to take us all, bringing us to our gifts and to such a great amount of love that letting it in is the biggest challenge, not searching for it and finding nothing. Nothing…no-thing… it is no-thing-ness. No-THINK-ness…

The realization of it having always been there, waiting in the wings to give you back YOUR wings, comes onto center stage now. It pulls the curtains back on its own, shines through anyways… but if you find your space to let it and help it do so, you are in and of service.

Yesterday while in process, I felt these words come, inviting me, inviting you, to feel something so poignant, so important, for your own necessary and ongoing process and the spillover of your process into the global and galactic terrain…

❤ ❤ ❤

When you feel your self hatred, all it wants is love to override its fear…its deliberate self/loathing, caused by reasons based in hate… which is NOT the opposite of love at all. Nothing can be opposite, only another aspect, a way to try and hide the desire to love and BE loved…

What you call “hate” or even “dislike”, is simply resistance to letting in how much love, appreciation and reverence you can actually feel…. stemming from unworthiness inside you, feeling this way towards yourself. Hate is love covered with protective spikes. It makes love into a blunt instrument or even a commodity. It makes it an attempt to kill-off the one thing it actually wants the MOST… REAL LOVE.

… the sort of love that can’t actually die. The one element ALL is made up of.

 

In love, with love, falling into and embracing more love,

Kalayna  ❤

 

***

Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge and healer, writer, and poetess. Find out more about the SoulFullHeart Way of Life at www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com

 

On The Wings of Change

CDE

There are times when we realize all the old ways of relating to ourselves and others no longer serves us in our deepest growth.  When we see this reflection, whether by own perception or the mirror of another, there is no denying that something needs to shift and change.  There is no judgement for what had been for it was all a gift to help us to our next timeline, or storyline.  There is a time for letting go and feeling the parts of us that had their investment for reasons that are honored and felt with our expanded sense of what and who we are in our heart.  Space is offered as a sacred balm to our wounded needs.  This is the process ground we inhabit in SoulFullHeart.  These words come from my own experience of letting go.  

On The Wings of Change

We write our story with the pen of our own choosing

Weaving the details from the well of our multi-layered experience.  

What themes have we chosen to continue to re-solve inside of us?  

Only to realize there is no solution, just resolution

 

A moment when letting go of what has played out inside of us

No longer serves our highest growth and purpose.  

The ebb and flow of plot pirouettes

Signal a moment to step outside the text box

And feel the circular motion of our unhealed devotion

To this sacred notion that we are not worth the promotion

Of Love’s infinite ocean.  

The pages of our human journey

Are bound by the collection of the illusion of time.  

Our fractured heart splinters are seeking their way

Back to wholeness through chain-linked letters

And the smudge of a tear’s free fall.  

An awareness of what can no longer be upheld

by Fear’s consequential reign.  

The pages of this worn-thin book

Are removed from the surrender into what they were truly meant to be

…the feathers of the wings of our greatest calling.  

If you are in a place where you are feeling the seeds of deep inner change wanting/needing to be birthed and are not sure how that may happen you can check what we offer in SoulFullHeart as the process by which we hold space for ourselves in times of great change.  We are all here in service of YOUR greatest calling that also reflects ours.  

 

Gabriel Heartman is a teacher, facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  You can learn more about him at www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com

 

 

When You Finally Are Tired

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Sometimes
you reach that end of a tether,
and realize,
it’s time to actually, finally
let go…
A tiredness takes over
from deep inside you.
An exhaustion creeping up
through every cell of your being,
calling out loudly,
that it is ready to collapse,
let itself breathe.
Let itself feel.
Let you feel it for what it really is…
For all the pawing and grasping
at what worked before
to keep it buried
beneath layers of trying and trials,
often self-made and maintained…
It begins to ask for you,
something bigger than it,
to help it,
this old you,
to finally rest.
Sometimes
it takes another long spin
on that favourite merry-go-round
of old beingness
to realize,
you’re finally ready
to emerge from that long,
long
long birth canal,
and see the light
of the new day awaiting you…

***

Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge and healer, writer, and poetess. Find out more about the SoulFullHeart Way of Life at www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com