Tag: parts work

A New Timeline Is Calling You To Heal And Feel On The Inside

Published on by Jelelle Awen4 Comments

By Jelelle Awen

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Beginning again and again….YOU will emerge from the ashes of your purposefully burned down previously beloved life. The moments of your phoenix self emerging out and UP, those moments of being FREED UP from what was tying and binding and confining YOU.

So many hooks and binds fitted in and slotted in and configured in your 3D self that call you to unplug, over and over, feeling the places that are connected in. Aspects of you sitting around the living room of your conditioned life, watching the television of programmed reality, believing the timeline offered of suppression and smallness and suffering. Aspects of you ‘stuck’ in frozen moments of trauma and pain, living there still, freeze framed beyond time, still feeling the PAIN of this then. Aspects of you co-created with your birth family, them constantly energizing “this is you” and so the hologram like you arising from this projection and matching what they want and need you to be.

ALL these aspects of you needing YOU…..your love, your soul juice, your heart tones to help them leave the living room of programmed and conditioned reality……to help them turn off the old TV (literal and figuratively)…..to unplug from the matrix INSIDE…..to heal the grids INSIDE……..to unfreeze them in the stuck moments, to meet them there, feel them there, and then MOVE them on into the NOW moment…..to turn OFF the hologram you projection created by your birth family through boundaries and taking space so the TRUE you can arise.

These aspects of you and the stuck energy of them that manifests in rage, depression, anxiety, tension, despair, control, suffering, body pains, insomnia, toxic relationships…..can MOVE into the higher frequencies of joy, magic, bliss, trust, creativity, truth telling, sacred unions, and SERVICE OF LOVE frequencies for which YOU REALLY ARE.

This process of unplugging, deconditioning….it ALL is held with SO MUCH love and support by the Divine, by Mother Gaia, by your BEloved guides, by your soul family (who is witnessing on the higher soul level), by your sacred union mate (who is WITH you or is waiting), by your higher self (who is embodying into you more and more), by your star family and star BEing aspects…..they are ROOTING for you and want to support you in this process that can be SO Challenging yet inevitable too if it is what you have signed UP for to experience here.

This support and this love from others, from outside can come INSIDE more and more as you feel and heal your inner landscapes…it is the ONLY way to experience a new reality on the outside. A NEW life, a new timeline is calling you into these higher frequencies of emotional, spiritual, mental, physical, and social health, nourishment, and abundance….can you feel it?

~

Jelelle Awen is an emoto-spiritual teacher, sacred feminine and union facilitator, soul scribe, waySHOWer, galactic love ambassador, and co-creator and teacher of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. She is author of  Keep Waking Up! Awakening Journeys To Avalon And Beyond and an upcoming book,Sacred Human, Arising Wonder. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Your Demons Are Angels Unheard

Published on by Gabriel HeartmanLeave a comment

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In this moment I feel you.  I feel you because I have been you.  There are voices, or intense energies, that just don’t seem to leave you alone. They permeate your BEing, making themselves at home with your mental body and wreaking havoc with your emotional body. You are becoming aware of so much around you. Being as sensitive as you are you pick up on it and it just finds its way INside. Sticking to the stuck places that have yet to be felt and unravel. It can be literally overwhelming. You may be even experiencing intense anxiety over what is going on inside. Wondering how you will ever get any peace of ¨mind¨. It is a daily life of maintaining your sanity in what feels like an insane world.  

The thinning of the veil is elucidating your most hidden places. The ones you thought you had under control or weren’t even aware of. The contentedness is slowly losing its hold on your emotional reality.  What I want to offer here is that there is a life-line. It is to actually go INsane.  Which in this way means to go “into the healthy”.  In our fear-sided consciousness, we have turned away from going into the deep emotional as the Holy Grail of our greatest gift to ourselves.   

These energies have been called our inner Demons.  They have felt like a haunting to some.  An intense barrage of thought and emotion that have medicated by all sorts of prescriptions, whether drugs, or sex, or anything else that has aided as a distraction.  Some may just be living with it trying to “get by” as best they can.  I want to give a voice to these “demons”, for they are actually your unheard and unfelt angels.  They have a message to deliver to you and you just haven’t had the means to be able to actually hear without being overwhelmed.

What is needed to navigate this seemingly intense geography is a container and a map.  For many men, and of course some women, there is this uncertainty and fear of going into the deep chasms of pain.  I know this one, because I have lived it. I questioned whether or not if I popped the lid open on the underworld whether would I ever make it back.  I feel how in the masculine there can be a rigidity in the going in.  Some pre-programmed resistance.  While on the outside there is an illusion of strength, the real courage comes in feeling what hurts and appears terrifying.  

Believe it or not there is a YOU there that can hold these intense energies that bring you to states of discontent and despair.  You just need someone to reflect that to you so you can feel it.  There is also separating this YOU from the overwhelm that occurring on the inside.  In your essence as Love you cannot be these energies.  You have just fused to the part of you that has identified as this.  So much that it has just felt like you.  I also want to offer that all this intensity is also not….all…yours.  You are a sensitive angelic soul that is being birthed into your true essence as these ascension codes continue to come into our energy field.  You can feel the collective ache that mirrors that which is yours, which is why it feels so HUGE to you in the moment.  

I have walked through this place a few times in my process, learning the hard way sometimes that the intensities inside are there to inform us of a deeper soul ache.  We are a fractal of a larger MetaSoul that contains the legacy of our journey.  When you are sensitive to that it can be a lot to hold and you need to be given a way to be with it.  As you grow this more solid YOU that is watered by a space-holder at first, and then by you and the Divine, you are able to hear the messages and receive the gifts of this previous hell.  

You are not crazy, or going insane.  You are becoming very sane.  You are being gifted with your soul’s calling and the messengers of Love.  You can choose what messages to take in and when, for you are the lead in this new world you will have created for yourself when you have taken the first step to go in and feel all the parts of you that have a voice, and that need you.  In session space, I hold the center for you until you are able to feel it on your own.  To feel the difference between what your true voice and energy is in contrast to the one that is not.  In time you can hold these energies and have the map by which you can give them all the love they need and deserve.  For your service they will transform from demon to angel and provide you with a portal to your beauty and power as a Sacred Human Awakening.  To feel a self-love previously unfelt at anytime this life.  To open up to new romance and a world of unending possibilities.

I know that may feel like it isn’t possible.  Again, I remember.  But with one step into trust and a desire for more than what you are feeling now, it will return itself back to you what you put in it. I know who you are and I am here to serve you the love you need to love those beautiful demons.    

If you are a man feeling this space inside yourself, or know someone that does I will be hosting a group men’s call with Raphael Awen over Zoom this Saturday, May 6th.  You can find out more here:  http://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/groupcalls

Gabriel Heartman is a teacher, men’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. 

Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

The Humility Of Really Feeling Our Emotions: Indigo, Crystal And Rainbow Souls Blog Series

Published on by Kasha Rosa1 Comment

by Kalayna Colibri

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There’s a certain amount of sanctity and sanity we preserve by NOT feeling, at least until the layers on top of our true feelings begin to give way and dissolve because of pressing life circumstances and swelling emotional reactions – THEN it can become insane-feeling, as chaos is created outside of us, pushing these feelings up even more as they call out for our attention. This is true for ANY soul ANYwhere. The piece here for Indigos, Crystals and Rainbows is much the same as for any awakening soul and heart – NOT feeling how we really feel becomes the much crazier choice than actually letting ourselves in. Yet too, there is something here that may be time-bomb-baked inside of us when we are in these soul groups, alerting us to this need for changes INSIDE of us at a much younger age because we are here to do so much work as leaders and healers.

I don’t hold any elitist sort of feeling around claiming I’m an Indigo. I actually feel it kind of lightly. For me it feels like a bridge and also a helpful explanation as to why I care so much about my growth and living into my soul purpose when I’m only just turning 30 this year. I became a “seeker” at age 14, which led me to a desire to serve others and feel my capacity to do so. However, this came in with some shadow pieces like arrogance and self-righteousness too and even in my already-cultivated self-awareness, I still wasn’t quite touching these and others, like entitlement, and narcissism, to name a few. This has been a part of the soul package I came wrapped in and some big things to work this life. I signed up for SoulFullHeart at age 24 because I wanted to work these things… taking breaks between then and now so that I could humbly go into life without consciously holding a process from time to time, which only illuminated more for me in the end. Once you sign up for the bullet train of deep healing, there really is no going back, try as parts of you might… 🙂

It took many reflections, some very hard to take in, for me to truly feel humbled, or rather, for parts of me to truly feel humbled and really start to feel what was really going on for them. There are soul wounds and also this-life, human wounds to feel too. These words of “arrogant”, “entitled” and “narcissistic” did NOT go in easily and there has been a lot of pain in even having to see myself in this light. What has been harder is feeling how  TRUE these words have been for parts of me who haven’t been challenged on their ways of being in life before! Until meeting Raphael and Jelelle Awen, I hadn’t had a single relationship with another teacher, healer, parent or friend who could bring these pieces to me and if they did, it wasn’t with love and compassion, but judgement from the parts of them who are the same way. I can’t explain to you the difference between these two experiences. It’s really something to feel for yourself. ❤

Feeling our shadow and what’s underneath it is an important aspect of the process of going within. What has appeared to be “in shadow” inside of us is actually a whole lot of pain that wants to surface and be healed. There are immense gifts on the other side of all tears shed when feeling our shame, hurt and even rage. As our layers of inner and outer protection melt away because we are finally safe enough to really feel ourselves and our parts, we feel these movements and realizations come to us with fluidity on waves of love that come from outside and inside of us too. It is a humbling process, to unravel deeper and deeper knots and layers protecting the precious yet strong vulnerability of the Sacred Human seed inside… the seed that is meant to grow, flourish and serve love to so many others!

Parts of me have needed to be how they’ve been – there is so much to push away from in our cultures and birth family conditioning and understandably, there is also a lot to protect ourselves from…until there isn’t, that is. Being emotional is still not a fully-embraced thing inside of many, though arguably it’s becoming more and more so as more of us awaken and can no longer deny how we really feel about anything or anyone, dark or light, or while in chaos or stillness or somewhere in between. During this ascension process, this is all being pushed up as light codes and astral influences constantly invite us to really SEE and FEEL ourselves in a much deeper way, illuminating the places where we still need healing and more authentic love flow. If you sign-for some help with this from SoulFullHeart, everywhere you need to go with become illuminated and we get how hard this can be to feel through. It is a deep healing practice and while there is so much joy, there is also much sobriety as the transformation it offers you really does start within and flow outward to every other area of your life.

Indigos, Crystals, Rainbows and the like are at an advantage age-wise and also soul-wise. We signed up to wake up early and to draw to us the paths that would help with that. Becoming more and more humbled to where our paths are taking us and that we DON’T truly know ourselves in earnest until we’ve really felt our shadows be challenged by someone holding up a mirror with LOVE behind it, is so important if not critical if we are really here to help awaken and lead others. We must first awaken to OURSELVES, let alone ascension, let alone Gaia, star beings, or anything spiritual. The heart truly is where the journey deeply begins and where all legs of it ultimately return to. And there is no other path quite like the one that really embraces and supports an ongoing exploration of our inner worlds, without an “end” place where you can declare ourselves fully-healed, and with plenty of juice for the journey inward and upward. ❤

***

Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, writer, and poetess. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Loving And Healing Our Inner Punisher To Love Life Again (and MORE!)

Published on by Kasha RosaLeave a comment

by Kalayna Colibri

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I’ve been feeling layers of inner-punisher frequencies inside myself for years now. They come and go, seem to fade away and then come back stronger, usually when I am inhabiting more of my soul gifts and bigness. These parts, when left unfelt, can tend to throw wrenches in the newly-greased wheels of forward movement and this can express as sabotage of our jobs, our relationships, etc. As their energy wells-up inside of us it can overflow outward to others, even during times when we feel we are serving love. It’s not that there isn’t ANY love available in those moments, yet if we are offering discernments and reflections to others that come with heavy judgments too, this is  a frequency springing from judgments INside, from us to us. It can be subtle to most people, which is why the reflections from life, love and others who have been there are SO important. Once you really start recognizing and working with these frequencies inside of you though, that’s when you notice this happening and can really learn to be with it as it heals and transmutes into something new inside of you.

So what is the actual gift of connecting with these parts of us?

This layer of “punisher/shame” (shame comes up as the underbelly of this part and often has very strong frequencies too) that I’m working with right now, I was able to really feel in a session with Jelelle and Raphael yesterday. This layer represents a lot of my conditioning as a woman and also a human being, coming from my upbringing, culture and birth family. This part also represents and holds a ton of power, which is really my personal, creative and alchemical power. It is power that has been misguided in its use and purpose, choosing to fixate on what is going wrong or could go wrong, versus all of the wonders and wonderfuls that are happening at the same time and that COULD SO happen in the near “future”. This revelation came as a surprise in some ways, and yet made so much sense. Inner-punisher frequencies are powerful, yes, and play out in so many ways in our lives, yet finding a love inside of us that can love this misuse of power, forgive it and then guide it to use this power for something GOOD and love-focused, THIS is life-changing.

I have felt before how possible it is that the two most deeply transformative parts of us to connect with are the inner-punisher/critic and the magical or inner child… there is a very strong need to connect with the protector as well in order to access these frequencies fully. Yet, when it’s the phase for it, working with these two parts of us illuminates so much about us, the timelines we have subconsciously chosen and lived in so far and all of the choices we’ve made that have placed us in the life circumstances we’re in now. It truly is a journey to finding, feeling and reuniting with our purity and our astounding power, to connect with these and any other parts of us that come forward. Feeling the heaviness that comes with this package DOES open out into something so much better than we have yet imagined… or maybe we have but have had trouble really buying it as a possibility with these unfelt parts denying that there is any space for that inside of us (even though THEY want the lovely outcomes too!).

Work with these energies inside of us seems to only happen on a deeply transformative level if we can allow ourselves to be humbled by it and let in reflections from others who have been there. These energies can play out in so many subtle ways that it becomes very hard to really track it all on our own. After all, these habits and ways of being are so ingrained in many of us that it really just feels like who we ARE. I want to offer though that these frequencies are NOT us at the core of our being and with some courage, dedication and tons of love, we can move them, heal them, and become more and more of who we ARE, creating the timelines we actually want and living a life that we genuinely love. ❤

We are so here for you if you would like some help shining light on this complex matrix inside of you where your own inner-punisher is possibly living. This really CAN and WANTS to heal inside of you with some earnest love and care. Visit http://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions for more information about sessions with a SoulFullHeart facilitator. ❤

***

Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge and healer, writer, and poetess. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Connecting To The Consciousness Of Your Chakras And What They Are Trying To Tell You

Published on by Jelelle AwenLeave a comment
By Jelelle Awen
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Chakras are full of information, data, and clues that your soul is offering (as is EVERYTHING). A phase of the awakening experience seems to be the growing awareness of chakras….. the learning about them and where they are, what color they are, which glands they connect to and meridians in the body, hand positions and the ‘cleaning’ of them. Being able to ‘see’ and visualize them with more clear clairvoyance. The mind opens up to the idea of them and their metaphysical existence.
 
You may be quite experienced in working with your chakras and even offering energy healing to others as well. The invitation is to deepen this connection to a place beyond the known and into the realm of bridging with your emotional body. The question is….how connected are you to what your chakras are wanting to tell you about YOU?
 
This is a good lead in to what I’m feeling to offer as the guided meditation in our group call on Saturday around chakras…. It could shift, as these things sometimes do, yet this one seems to be coming in pretty clear. I’m feeling to create a bridge with this meditation (which I will also share as a recording later) to the CONSCIOUSNESS of your chakras….to really FEEL and BE with them and to HEAR them too. To tune into what they are trying to TELL you and share with you about your heart, about your soul, about other lifetimes and the pain that still is energizing there, about your physical body and the stuck places of potential and perhaps manifesting disease and illness, about your social body and where it is receiving nourishment in your relationships and where it is not.
 
The emotional body is deeply connected with the chakral body, as both are ‘beyond the mind’ and into the terrain of visceral experience, unfiltered experience, beyond what the 3D self can control and manage or even ‘get to’ or access most of the time. Blocks and stuck places of undigested wounding in the emotional body form into what we call ‘parts’ in SoulFullHeart and work with directly through sessions. Parts of us also connect to, attach, associate with our chakras as well. Sometimes parts of us ‘live in the world’ of our chakras. They also ‘live’ or energize in parts of our body as well. It is ALL connected ultimately and going upstream to the root cause of the wounding in the emotional body that is then manifesting downstream in our experience of our lives can bring A LOT of healing.
 
Each chakra is ALIVE, has a consciousness, and can TELL you things that are useful. The seven main chakras offer a good foundation and I will also introduce the ‘ascension chakras’ during the meditation which are based on a model offered by Diana Cooper (although there are others too.) The stellar gateway, soul chakra, causal chakra, and earth chakra offer multidimensional access, galactic and cosmic connection, more lifting of the veil around our soul experiences in other lifetimes, rooting and grounding with Mother Gaia and more. Connecting with these chakras brings the next level of growth, awakening, healing, and awareness into your life.
 
I feel chakras more and more lately in myself as energy fields, swirling vortexs of energy that aren’t really delineated in the way that we have related to them. They are merging together more and more….a less literal sense then the root chakra is at the base of the spine, the sacral chakra is the lower belly, etc…..they feel more like fields of particular tones and consciousness to me. AND their vibration is changing as I move more into light body, 5D frequencies, their color is changing. They are feeling more crystal, to put it simply.
 
Because I have focused so much on the clearing and healing of my emotional body, my chakral body is pretty ‘current’ in terms of emotional congestion. As access to my multidimensional existence as a fractal from a Metasoul source becomes more developed and fluid and I connect and integrate more with ‘sisters from my Metasoul line’ who exist in other dimensions and ‘periods of time’ (what was previously felt as ‘past lives), there is less congestion too from other lifetimes and karmic bind playouts. All of this healing at this level is possible because of the negotiation ground I have created between myself and parts of me, especially my inner protector(s), inner punisher (when I had that frequency inside me), my 3D selves, inner child, inner teenager, inner matriarch/birth mother…..this negotiation has opened the way to access the deeper consciousness of the emotional body, the chakras, the Metasoul.
 
Becoming conscious, open, negotiating, learning, exploring with self love and curiosity, expands your experience of yourself into these fascinating terrains inside of you, especially your chakras! ALL of it serves your remembrance as the Infinite Love that you ARE. 
 
To join us for the group call on Saturday April 29th at 11:11am, go here: https://www.facebook.com/events/1575650452475825/
 
Here is a playlist of guided meditations that I’ve recorded to music and also during group calls with an introduction to the ascension chakras in most of them: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLNmrHdaQSAvL3_HIusq0GwJO4ziwlmioz
 
Jelelle Awen is an emoto-spiritual teacher, sacred feminine facilitator, soul scribe, waySHOWer, galactic love ambassador, and co-creator and teacher of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. She is author of  Keep Waking Up! Awakening Journeys To Avalon And Beyond and an upcoming book, Sacred Human, Arising Wonder. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Sacred Femininity Teachings And Guided Meditation To Connect With Divine Feminine Guides And Your Inner Protector

Published on by Jelelle AwenLeave a comment

By Jelelle Awen

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The inner feminine took her space today, held HER space with the Divine Feminine coming in to provide supporting frequencies and NEW templating of what it means to be a woman. It is being open to feeling the templating we received from our birth mothers and what IS us and what is NOT. It is being open to feeling the protector aspect of us who is guarding the inner feminine, who doesn’t feel we are qualified to connect with her INSIDE us…..it is amazing in some ways how clear this energy is when we are given a bridge to it as happened today in the women’s call.

A satisfaction, a sense of serving love WITH women, together going where the soul needs and where the heart wants in the moment…guides holding the space and higher selves too. THIS group call today with women is still going into me as a nourishing experience of teaching, sharing, guiding and witnessing the beauty and gift of parts work open new possibilities for women as it has done for me for so many years. It makes me feel like a proud mama, SoulFullHeart mama even as I am NOT really the force that moves it but rather IT moves me as one way love offers itself to serve.

Thank you to the women who joined Kalayna Colibri and I, courageous souls on a journey of healing, awakening, ascending, growing……NOT an easy path, one with more ash in the air often then confetti, more sense of being your only fan at times rather than much approval or support from others, and continual venture into the unknown over and over sometimes stumbling in the dark and sometimes following a guiding inner light to reveal, eventually, something REAL.

These groups are a TASTE of what we offer through SoulFullHeart, a taste of something that if you are resonant and it is meant for you then you are urged and moved to want MORE and limitless possibilities of timelines unfold from there. Space holding sessions one-on-one, immersion visits to BE with us here in Puerto Vallarta, group process sessions (these will be offered when we have enough souls in regularly occurring session space with us), becoming a SoulFullHeart facilitator someday, coming to live near us here in community, having us come VISIT you where you are…..oh, see, so many possibilities! THESE I am very open to and eager for!

And HERE is the recording of the women’s group call. This recording is of the teachings that I did in the beginning of the call (with input from Kalayna Colibri) about the sacred feminine. Then, there is about a 40 minute guided meditation offered by me…..a journey to your inner castle, representing your essence and your inner femininity, and connects you with your inner protector. Your inner protector offers you a ‘way’ to your inner feminine yet needs to be negotiated with FIRST! Four Divine Feminine guides accompany you as you are introduced to the frequencies of a NEW template that they offer you around femininity: Mother Mary, Magdalene, Kuan Yin, and Dark Mother. I believe this could be beneficial for women AND men too….

The personal sharings and some facilitation by me that followed the meditation have been edited out for privacy….the real sense of what it IS to be on a SoulFullHeart call and what it FEELS like to be in a sessions space is in those, so you get even more goodness from being live, there, joining YOUR energy with ours!

 

Our next women’s call is May 20th, which you can read about here if you would like to join us in the next arising yin space:https://www.facebook.com/events/1083484598423538/

Our next group call open to both women and men and facilitated by me andRaphael Awen is April 29th:https://www.facebook.com/events/1575650452475825/

You can listen to previous group call recordings here:soulfullheartwayoflife.com/groupcalls

Jelelle Awen is an emoto-spiritual teacher, sacred feminine facilitator, soul scribe, wayshower, multidimensional bridge, lover of love and co-creator and teacher of SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. She is author of  Keep Waking Up! Awakening Journeys To Avalon And Beyond and an upcoming book, Sacred Human, Arising Wonder. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions with her, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

 

No More Waiting To Live

Published on by Gabriel HeartmanLeave a comment

51

When I awoke today, suddenly nothing happened

But in my dreams, I slew the dragon

And down this beaten path, and up this cobbled lane

I’m walking in my old footsteps, once again

And you say, just be here now

Forget about the past, your mask is wearing thin

Let me throw one more dice

I know that I can win

I’m waiting for my real life to begin

from Waiting For My Real Life To Begin by Colin Hay

 

These words found there way to me through an interesting route that is so feminine in its nature.  Seemingly random thoughts and exchanges that landed a song into my dock.  I was feeling into what I wanted to write about today and this song hit a chord and I felt to play it and see what tune it sings.  

For those that are in more 4D consciousness, whether just entered or are seasoned veterans (interesting choice of words), there can be this sense that something hasn´t quite shifted on the outside to reflect the growing awareness of what feels true on the inside.  There can be this feeling of looking toward the horizon waiting for something to happen.  In the song, he also uses the words `I have a plan` and `times are just lean`.  There is an externalization, a projection onto life, that it is not on our side or we need to take control in someway to create a desired outcome that hasn`t arrived yet.  That the passion and desire inside are conditional to some set of external circumstances that have to occur in order to be set free.  

I remember this well in my own journey, feeling stuck in a `good career`. Trying to seek many different ways to make it all okay even as I was still `walking down the same ol` cobblestone streets`.  What was needing to happen was what the song suggested and that was to be in the moment and go into your heart. Feel what was really trying to be felt and expressed.  Nothing on the outside could make that any better.  It was I that had to make the journey in and listen to my soul.

The waiting was just a suffering.  A denial to really feel what was evidently true but a part of me was afraid to admit.  A more wounded masculine need to control something in order to resist what was true.  By going more still and surrendering to the feelings, I could allow these feelings to arise and be held in space created by a more solid me and the much needed support of another to hold that truth until I could do it on my own more regularly.  Feeling the fears and resistances to claiming my own power from with.  True empowerment.  Not control.  

Being in a more Yin space helps to feel how parts of us are so afraid of actually letting go of a conditioning or a relationship that is keeping us stuck and in state of suffering.  There many that have done that for themselves and there are those, like myself, who needed support. It is not a sign of weakness but of strength.  Leaning IN order to raise UP.  Support and guidance comes in all forms.  The key is to seek it so that you may help heal it.  I can feel how this can be more difficult for men than for woman but that may be shifting as more men continue to find the value of going in and feeling all there is to feel to stop the waiting and start the living.  
That is what I wanted.  Tired of the mask.  Tired of pretending. Tired of the waiting.  Because there is no time than NOW.  But I hold so much gratitude for that suffering because it brought me to a more authentic place of BEing and living.  It made the alleged comfortable very uncomfortable, so that there were only two choices…and then really only one.  Let go and Go IN.

Gabriel Heartman is a teacher, facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  You can learn more about him at www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com

Going Within To Discover MORE Aspects Of Self, Star Beings, AND Love

Published on by Jelelle Awen4 Comments
By Jelelle Awen
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You are drifting, shifting timelines INside to discover and experience new worlds IN there…..your inner galaxy is expanding as you deepen your exploration INside. Portals of multidimensional travel INvite you to experience the true vastness of your BEing from your roots to your wings.
 
The universe opens up INside as you find more and more access to fascination and wonder about what you’ll discover next, what you’ll remember about your soul next, what you’ll have access to next as your heart opens WIDER and WIDER with defenses and old conditionings falling away.
 
Your INquiry fueled by soul awakenings and heart openings INvestigates the next curve and turn of your INNER landscapes. Your inner flashlight beacon of higher cosmic heart turns ON and you SEE MORE, FEEL MORE, and ARE MORE. The inner darkness is not scary anymore, the shadows move into light. What has seemed evil becomes good, what has been in contention becomes in acceptance, what has been uncomfortable becomes familiar.
 
You experience true self to self intimacy, loving and accepting and connecting with ALL aspects of yourself…..from the inner child to the Star BEing, from the inner critic to the inner angelic BEing, from the inner protector to the inner Arcturian or Pleiadian or Sirian or ALL of these Star BEings and MORE. These aspects then can MERGE more and more into YOU and BECOME you, leading to more and more inner embodiment of the Infinite Love that you ARE. Leading to more and more sense of union WITH others and AS others too.
 
Love wants to open up the universes of unexplored territories and aspects that exist inside of you….Your inner space program to Infinite Love wants to LAUNCH! Every time you go within, you’ll discover MORE. ❤
 
Jelelle Awen is an emoto-spiritual teacher, sacred feminine facilitator, soul scribe, wayshower, multidimensional bridge, lover of love and co-creator and teacher of SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. She is author of  Keep Waking Up! Awakening Journeys To Avalon And Beyond and an upcoming book, Sacred Human, Arising Wonder. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions with her, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Mourning Dawns: The Gift Of Letting Go

Published on by Gabriel HeartmanLeave a comment

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by Gabriel Heartman

You have been made Aware.  You SEE and FEEL how life is so much more than what you have been conditioned to see and protected to feel.  You cannot be made unaware.  You can choose to ignore, but it is always there.  You may not have anyone to talk to about it, or, as much as they want to, they just can’t understand.  You continue to learn more, to understand more, to feel more.  The Light presses upon what is no longer serving this new, yet stillborn, YOU.  It can be okay at times.  Just letting it unfold in its due course.  Other times it can be painful as hell.  For some it can be existential and down right scary.  What is it that can help this uncertainty?  

Going into the geography of your heart may find you are at the end of a line….a timeline.  An old way of being able to pull it all together to get through each day.  There may be a moment when you finally realize the two worlds…just…don’t…jive.  These could be relationships to people, things, behaviors, and thought patterns.  Whatever it is that is not aligning with your Highest Desire and Inner Knowing.  There is a rub between what you feel needs to be done to continue growing and how a part of you feels about that.

This can be a difficult process and the heart of what it means to live in 4D consciousness.  There is a bitter-sweet feeling about it.  There are bridges to burn, ropes to let go of, and chords to cut.  In SoulFullHeart this is held as a sacred and negotiated process in compassionate concert with a part of you being held in heart space by this arising New You and the open heart of another who has been down that road.  There are ebbs and flows.  Baby steps and great leaps.  All in the timing set by you, your Higher Self, and the parts of you so invested.  The more emotional energy invested the more negotiation needed.  

When the time eventually arises that a choice needs to be made for your greatest good, the space both before and after is big.  It is a time to take stock of all that the relationship has meant to you, whether it be a romantic partner, a family member, a friend, a suffering loop, a drug, a food, or anything else under the sun that holds this energy.  It is a time to feel what was learned, and what will be lost.  This is the Mourning Time.  This time has been held with much grace and honor across cultures.  It is a phase in which you fully enter the pain, remorse, or any other feeling that comes up in order to fully exit.  It is not a one day deal in many cases.  The mourning is a process just like the one getting to it.  But the more the mourning is inhabited, not with suffering, the more the relationship can be honored and made sacred.  

This is a time of reflection, feeling, music, writing, sleeping, crying, laughing, remembering, and a plethora of other actions that arise to honor the space.  All of it is important and beautiful.  The amount of reverence given to this period the more reverence is given to what is to come.  The rain washes away the smoke and soot of the fire to reveal the dawn of a new day. The air is fresher and the possibilities are endless.  That is the gift on the other side.  But it is one of great price to these parts of us who have held on for so long and for good reason.  These continue to happen throughout the journey in our ascension, and the more we go into them the less they will occur as we keep the spiral going IN and UP.  

I honor and admire all of us that have been through this, are going through it, and are approaching it.  This time can be the most memorable of all as markers into your New You.  It is so incredible to be able to go through it with others that have been there and feel the true courage it took to make these challenging choices.  I hope to be a witness to them in any way possible.  It is the magic of death and rebirth that fuels the propellers of Life.

Gabriel Heartman is a teacher, facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  You can learn more about him at www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com

 

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Living Beyond Duty And Obligation

Published on by Raphael AwenLeave a comment

 

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By Raphael Awen

Is there a new and healthier way to relate to responsibility? ….that isn’t about the old ways of duty, sacrifice and obligation?

This question came up on the Men’s call Saturday as we felt into what does a man truly ‘showing up’ in life look like.

I’ve had to give this question a lot of space this life as I set out as a young man to really ‘do it right’ with choice and commitment leading over any kind of ‘wishy washy feelings’ hindering my progress. It worked really well for me and a solid self image around it provided me a strong sense of momentum and togetherness, and life direction, until,…it no longer did.

Decades later, I became very uncomfortable with doing what was right when it was more and more becoming evident, that I was living for the approval of some part of me, or living AS this approval seeking part of me. I could feel that between the dictates of duty and my own heart was a whole new ground I was being invited to enter.

I knew the choices I was about to make would not harm anyone intentionally, but I knew many would be unavoidably hurt. I concluded a marriage bond of 23 years and let it be known to my very Christian world that I no longer held Jesus as my personal saviour. There was hardly any larger of a dynamite that could have been placed under my world as I knew it, and yet I felt held by life and the divine to declare and walk out these new choices.

I remember telling friends and family that I no longer wished to live my life by the dictates of duty and obligation. It was very evident to me that my deepest heart and greatest gifts that I had to give the world were not out of synch with the deepest gifts I had to give myself. I knew the message that ‘self is bad’ was no longer working for me. I knew I wanted to live from my heart and I knew I wanted to make my own heart a beautiful place,…the ‘hearth of my own heart.’ Instinctively, I knew I was in fact opening my heart to friends and family for the first time, but that me saying such a deep ‘no’ to a previously agreed upon way of relating together would probably and understandably end the relationships.

This new way of relating to responsibility is a key piece denoting entirely different planes of existence. And it hinges deeply on not just the idea, but the deeply held emotional feeling ground that the self is bad. While this feeling world lives intact inside of us, it works like a free energy device generating a cohesive operating system to power and navigate life. When this inner ocean of inner self-unworth begins to be felt and nurtured by one’s own maturing and arising higher self, along with their conscious and arising more authentic self, one can only expect huge rumbles that will play out in their life as they know it.

So what then would the new operating system look like, that wasn’t based in duty and obligation? “Is it just giving in to doing whatever you want, whenever you want?” Is the usual question of protest that is raised by those feeling uncomfortable with even discussing this question.

Honestly, the short answer to that question, for me is simply ‘yes.’ The longer process around that question is learning more and more about what I actually want, even through the experience of doing it wrong, or even causing harm. Only by feeling what I truly want and what others truly want can I ever harmonize the love that I am with the love that the universe is. Only through ceasing to deny myself the love that I am can I cease denying the love that I am to another.

I need not make any longer case here about the difference between operating from heart vs. operating from a moral code, or self-imposed or society-imposed ‘shoulds’.You can feel this and don’t need to be convinced of it any further if it resonates for you.

What does bear feeling further in all of this though is the difference between how a ‘leading edge’ part of you can agree wholeheartedly, while another ‘trailing edge’ part of you, at the same time, can be very attached to living in the old dynamics. Being of two minds in this way is normal for most of present day human consciousness. Finding a way to bridge between these polarized parts of ourselves is our key to sanity, rather than just living in a default war between these parts of ourselves, or a default deadness survival pattern.

In this way, real sanity is feeling how a ‘split personality’ is true for all of us to significant degree under the layer of our presented-to-the-world self image of togetherness. Our deepest sanity isn’t about a forced external pretense of unity inside of ourselves, but rather a deep commune between each part of ourselves that is led by our arising authentic self who can be heart-present to every part of ourselves in a conflict.

In SoulFullHeart, we intimately get to know and feel parts of ourselves. We feel how they live and express in us in both wounded and healed expression. We hold a space for every part of us that arises in reactivity to life and relationships. Anything less than feeling how our conflicts live in us sub-personally (in our sub-personalities) in this way is simply another trip down the self improvement aisle of the bookstore by the very part of us seeking to change itself, while our authentic self isn’t yet awoken to its calling to lead our inner family.

And with our question at hand around duty and obligation, it’s here that the question really gets answered. Parts of ourselves can smell dutiful love a mile away and don’t buy it, and won’t respond to it. It is only through genuine curiosity and desire to feel that they will open out their world and secrets to us.

Only now as our inner world is felt in this way does our draw to spirituality, or awakening, or ascension become something that isn’t suspect as a medicative kind of reality covering over unfelt inner pain.

Only now can we embrace all of our-selves, from our roots to our wings, to be included in an awakening that doesn’t leave entire domains of our being untouched.

Only now can we more fully step out of duty and into our own heart as the sacred place that it is and always was.

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Please visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information and inspiration.