Category: SoulFullHeart Healing Process

Healing The ‘Black Sheep’ Archetype

Published on by Kasha Rosa5 Comments

by Kalayna Solais

When you’re a child, you start to learn right away what is expected of you. You’re meeting expectations of when to start talking, walking, even behaving more maturely, whatever definition of ‘mature’ you’ve been taught. You learn, then, about what makes you feel like you’re on track with this and what doesn’t and you take in the impact of that.

As you get older and start to awaken more to your soul but also what your heart really feels and wants, the pain starts to set in… the pain of feeling like you don’t belong and maybe never have. A feeling like you simply cannot ‘win’ no matter what you do or don’t do. Parts of you form to deal with this and find a way to be in the world but you still can’t reconcile your differences; those aspects of who you are that seem to set you apart from everyone else.

In some cases, you may start becoming ‘therapized’ as the only way that your 3D-conditioned parents or authority figures feel they can ‘help’ you. You may be put on medication that numbs and dulls your natural ability to FEEL. Even the anxiety and depression you’ve experienced, which is held by parts of you that are hurting and also feeling on their radar a sense that they really aren’t safe in this conditioning and aren’t being loved the way they need and deserve to be.

You now see yourself as the ‘black sheep’ of the family but also of the culture you’ve been raised in. You may even feel this with your friends or co-workers. I know I have.

In my recent process, I was working with a part of me that always felt she was the ‘black sheep’. We had to go into a scene together where she could line-up her birth family members and feel the lingering judgements and criticisms, the messages of ‘you’ll never make it on your own’ which may not have been directly said but were energized.

Together, we could start to feel their Higher Selves in the room too, and their Higher Selves offered that this wasn’t actually about what it seemed to be about… it wasn’t about me or this part of me being a ‘failure’ (though in a 3D sense it’d be pretty easy to see it that way). It was actually about a wonder they have at the conditioning I’ve been able to say ‘no’ to, the risks I’ve said ‘yes’ to and the trust I now have more and more in my life, even the challenges that sometimes feel like mountains to climb.

In this, I found compassion for them even though I still hold a boundary.

In this, I found a way to truly see and honour myself and my own journey as well as seeing the sacredness of their own.

In this, I could feel how this theme of ‘not belonging’ and being looked down on somehow has played out in all of my relationships in one way or another, even with my soul family and my recent marriage too.

And, in this, I could feel how just about every single one of us who has been on an awakening and healing journey has felt like some form of the ‘black sheep’ and played out this theme countless times, often with angst and restlessness and even suicidal feelings.

On the other side of this process, I could bring this part of me into a new form other than the ‘black sheep’. She was able to shake off the black and the sheep suit came off too. She turned into a young lioness, full of power and presence, yet with heart and vulnerability. She is finding a new home inside of me where she can truly belong and be seen and loved for who she is, even in those times where she is being shown something not-so-easy to see or feel about herself.

You’ve been taught to look outside of you for validation and even for connection to Divine love.

You’ve been conditioned to believe that you’re always supposed to ‘achieve’ and ‘succeed’ even though the goalposts keep moving. This happens in 3D and also 4D in different spiritual groups too where your ‘black sheep’ feelings can become amplified instead of felt deeply, often in the form of ‘tough love’ which is really just outright abuse.

The feelings of not-belonging can be healed as the parts of you begin to unify, one by one, with each other and with you.

Love is the glue that brings your heart and soul back together again to wholeness within that can no longer be severed. Love is the juice that catalyzes the transformation from within. Yours is the love your lost and world-weary parts most need to feel, to remove their own sheep suits… for they were never meant to be ‘sheep’.

They were meant to be ‘lions’.

Much love! ❤

***

Kalayna Solais is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for women, energy healer, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

 

 

Sirian Energies Offer Hope/Possibility/Forgiveness During This Time Of Peak Fear & Violence: SoulFullHeart Weekly Museletter (Aug 5, 2019)

Published on by Kasha RosaLeave a comment

It’s the release of our weekly Museletter! Offering ALL of our writings, videos, events, healing offerings, and audio blogs for the week. Go read it here!

The Lion’s Gate Portal energies have been swirling for some time now, coming to a head around and on 8/8, the day of the official portal opening. In our leading piece this week, SoulFullHeart Teacher/Co-Creator/Facilitator, Jelelle Awen, offers us a download from her own Sirian Aspect, Sela. Sela offers through and with Jelelle, a picture of the violence in the world right now finding reconciliation in every individual heart and soul, and a sense that this is all a sacred part of the process of our Ascension that plays out for our own individual transformation:

“This process of trusting goodness begins from within. It happens as you feel/heal/connect with the aspects of yourself and your soul that are living through and in violence, experiencing traumatic deaths, living in shadow, harming others in different ways, and being harmed too.

As you become a love ambassador to yourself and connect to the aspects of your Metasoul that can provide you a feeling sense of your own soul’s transformational journey from 3D into 5D (like the Sirians), you can FEEL in your heart then the goodness that lives and breathes in EVERY soul.”

We have two in-person gatherings coming up!

Come join us in the beautiful New Lemurian grids of Victoria, BC for a four-day SoulFullHeart community gathering this September, 2019 for the Autumnal Equinox. The gathering starts at 10:00am on Friday the 20th of September and goes through 5pm on Monday the 23rd. This four-day gathering offers the opportunity to immerse into your soul and heart realities in a deep, powerful, and transmutational way.

We will be having another four-day community gathering this December, 2019 for the Winter Solstice. The gathering starts at 10:00am on Wednesday the 18th of December and goes through 5pm on Saturday the 21st (each day’s events are from 10:00am until 5:00pm).

For more information on these events, visit: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/events

There are several new articles and audio blogs from Jelelle Awen, Raphael Awen, Kalayna Solais, and Gabriel Heartman. These articles include energy updates, digestions of the Lion’s Gate energies, and ways to digest current events in a personal way.

Jelelle, Raphael, Gabriel, and Kalayna offer 1:1 90min Bridging Sessions to help boost and digest your Ascension process and feel with you what your next steps are towards your highest timeline possibilities.

Sessions with Jelelle are $100 CAD minimum donation while sessions with Raphael, Gabriel, and Kalayna are $77 CAD minimum donation. More information can be found here: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/bridging-session

Our online shop is NOW OPEN! You can visit it to pay for individual sessions or to attend any of our gatherings, purchase the recording of past group transmissions or pay to attend an upcoming one, or to purchase books. Keep an eye out and your heart open for other offerings in the near future! https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/shop

We love to share our offerings with you and would enjoy receiving whatever heart donation in the form of money you feel that resonates with our offerings. You can go to our donation page for more info on how to donate: http://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/donations

Thank you so much for your interest in and support of SoulFullHeart Way of Life! If you’d like to receive these Museletters directly and automatically in your email every week, you can subscribe on our website at: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/writingmuseletters

Check out the latest Museletter here.

You Are Already Enlightened

Published on by Raphael Awen1 Comment

By Raphael Awen

In a higher sense, you are already as enlightened as you’ll ever be.

The challenge we all face (as well as chose) is becoming aware and fluid with that enlightenment on an everyday level.

In other words, we chose the journey to enlightenment because we already had (and never lost) the destination.

If that’s true, then all the resistances that you and I face in our awakening journey are all sacred and even very necessary.

It’s quite apparent that deep in our soul source history, that as love, we became something like bored and lonely in being in a total bliss state, where there existed no duality, nothing to choose, and nothing and no other to relate with.

Love had it all and wanted more.

That may be the truest thing still true about you and I today. We had it all, we still do, and yet, we want more.

Doesn’t that start to explain our detours in our addictions, our journey in self-help, our hunger for God, our conflicting belief systems, as well as our yearnings for more healthy attachments?

In other words (again), like creative children, we made up the coolest game together. Can you imagine all the creative ideas flying around? “Let’s individuate okay? There’ll be male and female, galaxy upon galaxy, infinity (why not?!), all manner of BEings, better throw in duality and even evil, …what else, oh, we must forget the reality we came from, or the whole game falls apart, and then we can slowly awaken, feeling everything as we go, so then when we reach the destination, the one that we are now leaving, we will have changed it into something magically so much more. We won’t be bored or lonely anymore, and the rest, we’ll discover and make up as we go.”

I believe we all signed off on such a game. I believe this is what you and I are living in every day in this dimension we call life.

Everyone of us alive on Gaia at this time of population explosion wanted to be in on this moment. We thought nothing of camping overnight on a sidewalk to get first in line for this grand opening event that is culminating in this moment in this setting. A camp chair, a sleeping bag and a tent, a water bottle, and you’re good to go. The rest comes as it comes.

My wealth is not that I have it all. My wealth is in my neediness, that there are places in me that yet feel like they lost it all. I get to bridge to those aspects of my being. I get to bring every resistant, lost and traumatized part of my BEing, from this timeline and other lifetimes into this dawning love and light of day.

That’s where the magic is.

As for my need for purpose and engagement, I get to be about helping others who are seeking help make their similar journey of personal awakening, which is totally connected to the collective awakening.

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.  Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc. Visit our donations page to offer a monthly or one time money donation to support our offerings.

Your Heaven Exists In The NOW

Published on by Raphael Awen1 Comment

By Raphael Awen

In my lifetime this life, I’ve gone from fearing I wouldn’t go to heaven when I die, to being assured I’d go to heaven when I die, to now coming to a place of realizing that I no longer am that interested in going to heaven when I die.

Placing our desire for heaven or golden earth in a future hope serves to veil the very real existence of our higher self’s reality in the Now.

Everything you want, you already have. The very real seeming perception of something lacking or missing is a guidepost to help you return to the realization that what you seek was actually never lost, but only veiled from your awareness for a specific purpose of growth – growth for you and growth for love itself.

Laments about the past, and desires for your future are things that occur in your present, that obscure you from the larger Now, wherein exists all you can imagine and infinitely more.

If this is all true, or real, then what’s left is to bridge to the parts of you who are understandably not so convinced of this Now of golden earth. What’s left is to bridge to the Gatekeeper aspect of us who has worked hard to maintain the needed veil between our conscious self (and selves) and our awakening self (and selves). The need for the veil is changing every day. We’re entering a new order of things, internally and externally.

You are awakening from a dream. There’s a ton to adjust and acclimate to, but this is where the fun comes in. This is where purpose and reward comes in.

This is where fulfilling your plan ‘A’ comes in. Plan ‘B’ can take its place in our keepsake box, a sacred reminder that it’s all sacred.

Your and my heaven can only and ever exist in the Now. It’s only through the Now that you can access it. Past, present and future (and time itself) are only emanations from this deeper substance of all things reality called love.

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.  Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc. Visit our donations page to offer a monthly or one time money donation to support our offerings.

Leaving The Prickly Nest For Love

Published on by Raphael Awen1 Comment

By Raphael Awen

I’m learning what feels like a kindergartners lesson on one hand, and feels like the most advanced stuff I’ve ever heard on the other:

When I’m (a part of me) living in fear of someone, or something, or the government, I’ve given away my power to that someone, that something, that authority, and it feels scary because I’m seeing my own power turned on me. It’s a me to me internal war being projected out.

In these profoundly changing times, YOU are also profoundly changing. What’s worked in the past, socially, financially, what you can and can’t eat, isn’t working the same way. New workings are trying to get in the door as old ones are completing.

These upheavals to your well-being are not signs that you are lacking in any spiritual attainment, but rather an invitation into a new attainment and ground of being.

The universe knows you’re ready to fly, and so, like the mama eagle makes the nest prickly when it’s time to get her eaglets to attempt their first launch, so the universe and love itself is bringing new and surprising challenges, cause it’s getting very close to your time to fly.

You home is the skies and the nest! You are meant to be nestled in a love you haven’t known in a very long while.

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.  Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc. Visit our donations page to offer a monthly or one time money donation to support our offerings.

What You Really Want Is Love

Published on by Raphael Awen1 Comment

By Raphael Awen

What you really want is love.

Things we call ‘attachments’ are only placeholders that parts of us hold onto as love until something better shows up. Who can blame parts of us for doing that. We are made for love.

A child being only willing to eat french fries and chicken nuggets is because he found love and comfort in them and they landed in a place that only feels like the absence of love.

As adults, so much of our routines in habit, diet, feeling states, relationships that we keep or don’t keep, are all so full of these ‘attachments’. Another part of us that we all have until they are felt and healed is an Inner Punisher, and this part is connected to another part of us that holds deep shame. This sets up a punishment-shame cycle dynamic that is meant to protect us and keep us safe which is hard to grasp at first begging the question of ‘why would we do such barbaric things to ourselves in the name of safety?’ The simple answer is that in our subconscious we hold deep memory of feeling love’s absence and a deep culture shock from when we first landed here in the human domain, and felt how non-heart-resonant the hearts of our caregivers were.

Now, it’s up to us to feel how so much self-improvement and problem fixing energy in our lives is actually the problem, not any kind of solution. You are not a broken person needing fixing. You are a profoundly beautiful being made of love and by love and are coming to terms with the love that you are. Part of this acclimatization to love is your willingness as a soul to come to a place that feels like ‘not-love’ in order to afford you an awakening process to the love that you are as a profound soul growth. Your existence and the essence of your being is so much more than than what you and I know and feel in the 3rd dimensional reality of time and space here on Gaia.

So, instead of running yourself through the ringer with feeling and trying to change a persistent negative and harmful pattern or behaviour, what about instead feeling the part of you who needs that pattern or behaviour and why they do? What about getting to know this magical part of you stuck in their french fry and mcnuggett world? They are your portal into the more that you are and are longing to feel and be. They are ‘attached’ to what they know and feel as love. It’s up to you and I to lead with something more, rather than substituting one attachment for another.

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.  Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc. Visit our donations page to offer a monthly or one time money donation to support our offerings.

The Flow Of Joy

Published on by Raphael Awen2 Comments

By Raphael Awen

Joy isn’t a state of being as much as it is a state of flow.

Flow is about what you are letting in and what you are letting out of your life.

Increased joy will mean a sped up sense of how fast you are able to be with the hello’s and goodbye’s in your life, whether that be to people, places, things, foods, etc. – life as you know it.

Being with all this means holding space for the parts of you that have very understandable reactions to the changes. They want changes just as much as you, but they each have different valid concerns about the how and what and why, as well as the timing of those changes.

It’s up to you to show up as an ambassador to these distinct parts of yourself with an open heart ready and willing to feel through their eyes, hear with their ears, and be changed in the process.

This is the process of returning to the flow state of joy.

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.  Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc. Visit our donations page to offer a monthly or one time money donation to support our offerings.

Giving Your Inner Teenager What You Needed As A Teenager

Published on by Kasha Rosa1 Comment

By Kalayna Solais

Holding the Inner Teenager inside of you means having an experience of holding yourself during a time in your life when all you wanted and didn’t want, sometimes at the same time, WAS to be held. To be understood. To be felt and empathized with. Not fixed or caretaken, but to be seen in your bigness and challenged in it healthfully and heart-fully, without pushing or poking or prodding but with an arena of safety constructed for the necessary explorations and explosions.

You needed and wanted space, room to grow and feel and explore…. permission to BE in and with the angst, the sadness, the longing for something you could not even name at times, and even the joy and celebrations that wanted to come up too that almost equally could not be felt with you by those around you that you looked up to.

All of this still lives inside of you in a part of you that asks for attention and love in different ways… a part of you that still may be the dominant energy in you at work, in relationships, even in your role as ‘mom’ or ‘dad’.

Often times this part is so repressed that they become deeply depressed and anxious too. Their transition from child to adult was never honoured for the wrestling match it actually IS. This ‘wrestling’ experience is a struggle and rebellion against while also capitulating to 3D conditioning and energies. It’s also an experience sometimes of being stuck in a 4D limbo and ‘void’ space while looking for something or someone to show up enough to help you move into the higher frequency that you somehow remember yet maybe at a distance.

Your arms and heart are the bridge to this part of you that the adult you can show up to construct and hold, piece by piece, with permission granted by this part of you to begin that process. Every effort made to go IN and BE with them is one that imprints them with love. Every time you reach out your hand to hold theirs with understanding and care is an opportunity for them to lean in and be felt in the gift they are, even in their pain.

Here’s a video and meditation from Jelelle that offers some more framing around this process and the opportunity to meet this part of you: https://youtu.be/sLDoA7UXVFk

There’s also this video from Gabriel and I about connecting with this part of you: https://youtu.be/ZIG-zgEb4Mg

And this guided meditation that I created and Gabriel narrates: https://youtu.be/Vu7nRmyzu0E

Much love to you and this part of you as you deepen or even begin this process of seeing each other and experiencing profound healing together. ❤

I offer much space to feel this part of you with guidance and love through 1:1 sessions for women… soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions for more info ❤

***

Kalayna Solais is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for women, energy healer, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

INtimacy over INvisibility

Published on by Raianna Shai1 Comment

By Raianna Shai

I haven’t written a post in a while as a lot has been shifting and growing in my world. A couple of weeks ago Kalayna and I spent a few days on Salt Spring and just this week we all spent time camping in Goldstream.

One theme that has been popping up a lot for myself as well as my entire community is intimacy in relationships. I have always had this tendency and even desire inside of me to be invisible. I was incredibly shy as a child, I never rose my hand in class, I chose to blend in for any social interaction. I had absolutely no desire to be seen or more vulnerably, to be judged by others.

It’s easy to get into a “mode” in every relationship in your life and it doesn’t take long to establish, even with new people. We find what frequency is most comfortable and what allows us to get along with this other person. What gets hard is when something gets triggered or rubs against something inside of us.

I have found that most people either push away their reactions towards others, judging them as unfair or just not worth it, or they push their reactions on others, without feeling what the impact might be or what’s going on inside of them. Both of these strategies allow us to hide, to put away the deeper and more vulnerable parts of us that go against the already agreed upon frequency that you have established in the relationship.

Parts of me fear that my truth will either end the relationship or deepen it. Both risking being seen for more than my persona. Going against the grain of what is comfortable in relationship is exactly what intimacy is all about.

You tell your truth, as messy as it gets, until one day you are transparent in every moment. Until you have no fear locking you into place and all of your words come from love for yourself and love for other. Until you trust that losing a relationship is okay and deepening a relationship is okay too. Until you are so centred inside of yourself that no level of intimacy can scare you away. Even when fear comes up there is progress and honesty about it all. That is when community can flourish and become something new and never done before.

Raianna Shai is a SoulFullHeart facilitant and social media maven for SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit  www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, events, videos, community, etc. Return LOVE in money form: https://www.paypal.me/supportsoulfullheart or visit our Patreon page to become a monthly supporter: https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

 

Healing Heartbreak Guided Meditation: ‘Discover’ Vlog Series With Kalayna Solais

Published on by Kasha RosaLeave a comment

By Kalayna Solais

I decided to create a video about healing heartbreak through parts work/the SoulFullHeart process, highlighting how it has been helping me and offering a guided meditation to help you connect to the part of you that is the most heartbroken right now (if you’re going through your own mourning process). I share openly though not in great detail yet (I’ll do more of that in another video and in some future blogs, I think) about what I’ve been processing around my recent completion of a Sacred Union romance.

I focus more on the healing of heartbreak when a relationship completes, yet this meditation can apply if a beloved in your life has passed. It’s all about connecting within and letting in the support and LOVE you’re surrounded by through guides, the Divine, your Higher Self, and even life and love themselves in order to move through the pain in all of its many layers and waves.

There are SO many dynamics moving inside of you at all times and it does sometimes take phases of big life changes in order to stir the pot and help you deeply feel what’s been going on this whole time. I’ve found it so helpful and empowering to take everything I’ve been moving through in my life back inward to process it all with parts of me… even and especially when this feels challenging to do or take space to do.

With much love,

Kalayna Solais

***

Kalayna Solais is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for women, energy healer, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.