Kasha Rosa

An Invitation To A Beloved Part Of Me

Published on July 12, 2017 by Kasha RosaLeave a comment

windowsteamheart

Be that beacon of love…. for yourself. ~

Today I am in process with a part of me that I have worked with before, but not for a long time now. She has been resurfacing lately and today has been a big day for her. On a wave of love for her and for our process together, this is the writing that came out. It feels like it offers a bridge and a picture of what it’s like to reach into your heart to be with a part of you, no matter how unworthy of your love and attention that part may feel. ❤

Hello, you… you in my heart. You who have been hiding and waiting and feeling cautious about coming out. Yes, you! I have been feeling you. I have been feeling your reactions, your triggers, your need for more love. I have been feeling your self-assumed ‘wrong’-ness, ugliness, ‘hard-to-be-with’-ness. I feel that you’re scared, that you feel separate, that you feel abandoned. I feel it all as I feel your tears. Even though, as a part of me that I met long ago, I have felt you before… your reality has shifted since then. You have seen more, witnessed more, sponged more. Now you’re ready to come out again, showing me the same patterns of reactions you’ve always had, but now you’re ready to be felt more, to be honest about things maybe you weren’t honest about before, to ask for me to help you, be with you, love you up. It’s time now. It’s time to start coming up and out to sit next to me, to lean into me, to not feel you have to do it all alone as you’ve done before. You aren’t alone, you never were alone, and you will never really be alone either. It’s not your destiny if you and I can be together now without you BEING me. That’s really the only time you might be ‘alone’ – when you can’t let me in and let me be separate from you so I can hold you and be that best friend you ache for.

I feel you, sweet inner princess, with so many gifts and dreams and hopes. I feel the pain you’re feeling about wanting to just be these things again, to not feel the weight of life that you’ve taken on anymore. You’re ready to ask for me now, and for you, sweet one, that is a big step.

Welcome home, beloved part of me… together we’ll feel it all and together we’ll heal even more…

❤

***

Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

The Gifts And Challenges Of Life-Changing Energies Coming In

Published on July 11, 2017 by Kasha Rosa2 Comments

by Kalayna Colibri

butterfly sunset

It’s okay to let go of your handrails…

In fact, it may be time to do so. The love you have waiting for you is what you’re letting go into now. The unfamiliar will become familiar, will become more known to you as you move forward. The fall is not long once you’ve let go. Parts of you anticipate and think it will be, but that’s not the plan at all. There is so much more to let in once what parts of you grip hard to is let go of. It may be a process of moving one single finger at a time as the grasp loosens and the next step forward into the changes coming in is stepped into. This may be what’s needed and that’s fine… charging through change can create more chaos than you may need right now, but in another way, that may be just what you need too.

These foggy changing times bring momentum but invite us to stay in the moment… these energies coming in now are supporting us to feel our next choice points and to feel all there is to feel in the process of making these choices, inhabiting these changes, and finding our way into this newly emerging life phase and overall timeline. It seems these shifts can be subtle at first, but then once that first step is taken, it can feel suddenly like you’re riding a roller coaster or even a speeding car. I should qualify that and say that parts of us feel it this way, while our soul actually has a deep trust that is leading us. There can be a difficulty in the surrender to it all… there are attachments on different levels of our being and in different parts of us, to how things have been up ’til now, whether or not our life’s circumstances are ideal in many (or any) ways.

We do NEED change. It offers us grist for more self-discovery and healing process and celebration of how far we’ve come too. It offers us more ground for growth, especially if we seem to have ‘mastered’ the old ground, to the degree that we can feel how maybe we’re outgrowing it now – it has become too comfortable and kNOwn, perhaps. You may feel consciously that you are a big fish in a little pond too. Change presses what’s uncomfortable, wounded, in distrust, in pain, in separation, up to the surface to be felt and held. It has a way of creating a chaotic windstorm at times, that can be made much more intense by parts of you that are in a panic and either don’t want to be felt or cannot be felt by you for some reason. Change is really the best catalyst to encourage us to feel ourselves. The smoothest transitions in life usually come when there is a whole lot of surrender to a lack of ultimate control, while still paying attention to and moving along your own chess pieces in each step, though even doing this very thing can still bring up surprises and more to feel.

Trusting the rumbles that love wants to send through our life and our current relationship to people, geography, ourselves, the Divine, and even life and love itself, is the biggest invitation and the hardest to inhabit for parts of us. This is when a process becomes so valuable, as we allow in these energies that want to move us into our next places and phases of growth and expanding LOVE consciousness… we cannot always control the depth of change that is being invited into our lives, but we can control the degree to which we are willing to look at the whole picture, to feel all elements of it, to be with the challenges and the bonuses, and to find our way through by allowing ourselves to be IN ourselves and our hearts around it all.

These times of feeling like a whirlwind has picked you up and it’s hard to tell where you’ll land, are some of the toughest phases and also the biggest opportunities for expansion of our consciousness and our overall scope too, it challenges how we see and inhabit life and also how we see and inhabit and love ourselves. There are many gifts here, though the reality of the challenge needs to be felt deeply too. In fact, one feeds the other and when they are allowed to dance inside of us in this way, that is when we pop out the other side, feeling so sacredly different than we ever could have before. We’re on our way, no matter what, to a higher dimension in every way.

***

The Arising Journey Of Opening Your Heart

Published on July 7, 2017July 7, 2017 by Kasha Rosa2 Comments

by Kalayna Colibri

heart-opening

When your heart first starts to open, you can feel the edges. You can feel the aperture widening, letting more light out and in, moving love to and fro in waves and perhaps in stops and starts. You can feel the emotions that come up as part of this sacred process, the protests inside from parts of you that may have fears about your heart opening and the ride this will take them on. You will begin to FEEL your parts, maybe for the first time, and all of the storms they’ve weathered in the name of ‘love’ as they’ve ‘known’ it to be or thought it to be, or assumed it to be based on their conditioning and experience. They may be unsure that love can be clean, can be pure, can be something that keeps flowing without end.

As your heart opens more, you feel the healing that allows it to do so. You feel a celebration of the work you’ve done to get here, though it may also feel as if you have pretty far to go, especially as more oil is brought up from parts of you to be felt deeper still. You begin to trust this process more and that this flushing out is important for you and your life yet also for the world too. Your higher/Cosmic heart, your Christ Consciousness starts to become activated in this way, though it may still remain somewhat out of your reach, especially as reactions bubble up not only in your heart but in your very soul. The sacredness of this can be felt, though maybe not strongly just yet, for so much of this pain you’re feeling through can keep the programming of ‘mess is NOT sacred’ alive thriving within your being, still. This is the hardest part in a way, because the mess is what you need and on some level you surrender to that, though consciously you feel as if your world is turning upside down and you’re questioning so much about who you’ve been so far in this life and how you’ve related to everything and everyone in it. This is your emotional awakening phase, even though spiritually you may have awakened long ago. The bridge between these two strata of being can start to be made conscious, yet the lines seem stark in contrast because you are having to FEEL so much in YOU that may have long been buried and even covered over BY the spiritual…

Then the aperture of your heart widens still more… you begin to notice that your ‘messes’ created by parts of you that are needing them in order to be felt more fully and deeply, make way for more joy and that the joy seems to last longer and longer before more oil comes up to be felt and moved through, if not healed. The sacredness in every millimeter of process is becoming more obvious to you and allowing yourself to be IN process feels like the best sort of ‘me’ time you can give yourself the space to have. You feel celebrations as your movements inside of you begin to shift the world outside of you. You draw relationships that are more aligned with who you are and are becoming, though maybe these relationships don’t feel totally like ‘soul family’ just yet… or maybe they do and you’re drawn to go in deeper with them in conscious community or at least sacred bonds. They’re likely doing the same work you’re doing, feeling parts of themselves, healing deeply, taking the time and space needed in order to breathe, be, become, and above all, feel, heal and grow. You could also be drawing potential romantic partners along the way, with more heart and soul resonance with you than you’ve experienced thus far.

These new relationships are the end to your ‘lone wolf’ phase, though you still need and want the time for YOU and your parts and soul aspects that have now become so beloved to you and you to them. As you say ‘yes’ to community and intimate bonds with others, you feel this begin to widen your heart even more, sometimes to the point where it feels about to burst with colour and light and LOVE. You feel oil come up still, yet this time it feels different, because you’re noticing it more consciously, being with it sooner, and you have these relationships around you with so much powerful love transaction between you that their reflections of you go into you and really help you see where to go next inside of you at a manageable rate and pace that before this time, may have been overwhelming in moments. Sometimes the hardest processes are actually about letting more love in from and with others in this space you’re in now. You’re connecting with yourself, with guides, with your beloveds regularly and your spirituality integrates more and more with your daily life, lighting you up with soul purpose and soul gifts that have come alive for you in a new way. This leads you to more oneness experiences, that you now get to feel through a greater sense too of Conscious Duality and why we need both the dual and non-dual as our awakenings open out and our growth keeps moving forward. Ascension becomes not a struggle, but an embraced and beloved process too, intertwined with all of this, this entire process and all you ARE.

The journey never ends from here, though it always deepens as new phases of BEing open up and move you through challenges. You have become the sacred human you’ve always wanted to become, somewhere inside of you. And you wouldn’t trade this journey for the world, for it has become so YOURS to claim and you do so with a love flow in your heart that couldn’t have come to you before. Feeling and claiming your sacred YOU space brings you back to you, your true home and the one place you can ever fully belong. The one place where it ALL can heal, and where your former sense of separation and abandonment wounds can be transformed, transmuted, healed. Welcome home…. ❤

***

Wants, Desires And Needs: Essential Aspects Of Our Ascension

Published on July 5, 2017July 5, 2017 by Kasha Rosa3 Comments

by Kalayna Colibri

desires

My ever-healing heart and the energy of Mary Magdalene, want to share this invitation with you today…

You are so beloved…why are you afraid to desire?

You are created for adventures… why have parts of you, soul aspects of you, decided that it’s safer, cleaner, not to claim your needs and wants?

Do you, arising sacred human heart, feel how this is what keeps you from entering the processes you most need and want to, in your soul? Those sacred upheavals of emotion and soul bursts that show you what you need to feel and heal next? These feelings of ‘I will never get what I want’ are actually a shout crowding a gentler whisper that says, ‘I’m afraid I actually might get what I want…’.

Want. Desire. Need. These are loaded words, oft kept in a box, labeled ‘danger!’ and rightly so… this Pandora’s Box is a life changer, the love you eventually can’t ignore though parts of you may try so hard to do so. There is nothing wrong with the delay of feeling what you most want, for you are wired to want MORE anyways. You are in gratitude for what you have, yes, yet this gratitude needs more space for breathing too, for expanding into a bigger heart container that also holds desires for more depth of relationship, a more suitable geography, an impeccable soul and heart romance, soul friendships within conscious community, challenges to just keep going, moving, healing, diving in… Gratitude cannot really be used to suppress your desires, but can instead be used to enrich and enliven them.

Your most sacred terrain of change is in your healing heart. No true and lasting changes can be made on the outside without the inside leading the way. New wants, needs and desires rise up from process, as an aspect of feeling parts and soul fragments of you, as something to keep you heading along your path. They are meant to shift and change as you are, yet this shifting and changing need not be a dulling of your sharpness of wanting, your ability to create and co-create. If anything, it sharpens you further, clarifying with greater depth and breadth what it is you most deeply want NOW and NOW. If you are feeling yourself, if you are in a healing process, you need not worry about your desires being over-indulgent or false or harmful. As your heart heals, so do your motivations in every area of life, until life has no ‘areas’ or ‘segments’ or especially ‘compartments’ but is one life lived in and according to LOVE… where does LOVE want me to flow today? What does it want to illuminate for me in this phase, in this very moment?

The deeper fears of desiring and wanting, live under the resistance to feel them… they are the vulnerability of feeling that nothing in life is guaranteed and yet if your heart truly wants it, the path aligns to make it happen WITH you, not for or to you. The desire is the beacon, the light at the end of the sometimes long, long tunnel. It is the picture, the double-vision you can hold fast to while walking among hot coals of sometimes shadowy process grounds. It is the warm voice beckoning you to keep moving onward by turning inward, seeing for the first time that this voice is yours.

We are full-up of expectations from others that have somehow become our own. We are passed down legacies of withdrawal from life and ultimately from LOVE. We are given only the tools necessary to keep being safe and sound and secure, not loving ourselves through vows of cherishment and self-awe. This means deflecting that which doesn’t match a much duller picture, sacrificing dreams for ‘knowns’. Gratitude comes in the moments we realize that we are exactly where we need to be while on the path of the adventure to what we most deeply want. Gratitude is covered by inherited brambles when we wait alongside the path and don’t choose to step out onto it. Synchronicities send over invitations to keep walking, moving, remembering, letting more love in, yet we will only accept the invite if we are ready to recognize that this messenger is who we’ve been waiting for.

What is it that your heart most desires and needs for you and from you in this moment, on this day? Feel this, bring it inward to your heart with curiosity and love, as a parent to a growing child or a gardener to a blooming rose. Let yourself be taken, fascinated by your wants and needs. Allow in some moments of feeling all there is to feel and see what new places, on this very next step of your burgeoning, ever-ascending life, open up for you next. ❤

***

Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, writer, and poetess. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Feeling And Healing Our Inner ‘Wounded Healer’ And Our Push-Pull In Serving Others

Published on July 2, 2017July 5, 2017 by Kasha Rosa4 Comments

by Kalayna Colibri

healing hands healer

As we move through our own ascension processes, we may feel called to serve others in their own processes too. Actually, it feels like many of us are feeling this calling deeper and deeper and it’s becoming as loud as a roar while things ramp up in our world with collapsing systems and collapsing ways of life. As more and more of the inauthentic, power-over-others based ways of being and doing fall apart around and within us, there is a growing need to help each other sift through the rubble and find a way to keep moving forward through life and upward with ascension on all levels of our being. In addition to this desire to be a part of creating and building a new world, we feel called to be healers because somewhere inside of us, we NEED to be healers, for the sake our own growth and healing too. It becomes a crucible for healing just like any other. The more we open up to serving love with others, the deeper the invitation into our own growth as souls and sacred humans too.

A question I feel to ask today regarding this call to be a healer, is what qualifies someone to become the healer they’re meant to be? After all, for many (if not all) of us who are choosing to expand our consciousness in every moment, becoming a ‘healer’ is more or less a birthright. In my experience of it though, it’s not a role we’re entitled to, nor is it something that we can expect to just sort of ‘happen’. It seems to me that as healers, we tend to have the toughest life crucibles to walk out and also, we tend to have inside of us a deep reticence towards healing and serving others that also needs to move and heal… ‘healing the healer’ involves going deeply into this shadow of the ‘wounded healer’ and in essence our courage to go into this so feels like what qualifies us, above all else, to serve others with sobriety, deep empathic feeling, genuine compassion, and reverential awe for who they are in soul, heart and body. You won’t have authentic access to feel and hold others in this way while parts of you are still feeling very much the opposite. This could be subtle too, so this process of really going into and healing this can be tricky, making it very necessary to have help from those who have been there when venturing into this shadow territory. This is a key piece we offer in SoulFullHeart and one that we hold as critical for being able to truly embody our healership and genuinely serve love.

It doesn’t seem to ever get to the point where your energy can honestly say to others, “I’m healed so now I can serve you”. Rather, it’s more about getting to the point where you can open-heartedly claim, “I’m vulnerably working some pieces, but I am ahead of you enough on my chosen path of healing that I can serve you and help you find your way to where I am now.” It feels important to note that ‘ahead’ is not ‘above’ and if the healer you’re working with doesn’t feel like they are ahead of you and embodying something you too would like to embody, and is maybe instead posturing as if they are worth more than you are, this is a sure sign of an inauthentic claim of their healership and that they may need to check in with where their own love overflow is at.

Ultimately, what seems to ‘qualify’ us is so not certifications, though of course these initiations can help and can also lead us to the paths we are meant to be on. Instead, life is the ultimate qualifier, as well as humbled self-authority which is also necessary. Yet parts of us claiming authority on something we/they haven’t yet lived out or embodied creates a tinny tone to this claim and our draw of others to serve won’t be what we really want it to be. Push-pulls around people or humanity in general and also around living a healthy lifestyle where there is lots of space to really be with ourselves, our parts and soul aspects, and work on our own healing, are all indications of a need to go back inward to keep feeling that ‘wounded healer’ inside, which could be one or more parts of us grabbing at this role, and use our healing gifts to work with and love THEM first as our number one priority.

It’s a gift to really let ourselves, as healers, collapse into a humble need to continue healing on many levels and doing so can only benefit us and the people we’re called to serve. ❤

***

Poem: Letting Love

Published on June 27, 2017 by Kasha RosaLeave a comment

by Kalayna Colibri

$Magical heart shape spiral in space fractal with particles$

Interwoven heart clothes fall along shuffling feet.

Healing hands pull energetic nuances of lovely subtle flowers

and an escapee life of lush lovelorn lace and spinner lights.

It’s one place of many more magical moments to come into view of the dearest wanting pieces.

Foreign chords of many ordinary oddities bring it all back in to that rainbow of open road.

Even those sounds of the missing call the song of melodies remembered always.

An unknown toil of yet-to-be-known articles resembling the past and an ever-present presence

bringing all ebbs flowing forward in this dance of what could never be felt

until the time ticked along of the newly emerging emergency of now and instant bringings.

Take it all to the inside and outside of the corners where all stars are collected

and feel where the new-old love songs now call out to the unborn listener

of sometimes comfortable cravings still borne out to dry in the heavy lungs of the dawning days.

Love Love LOVE! is that sacred siren song of the aching breathers and reachers from the mud of what was once the only truth yet never satisfied as food should.

LOVE love LOVE! is the dance of the flying edges asking for more than they have ever known and the returning feeling that they have always wanted deep inside of the love they too are made of.

To find the way back is through each other.

To find the way in is through the self.

To find the way upward is through the press of life’s birth canals and all contractions brought by Love

inside the established ALL that forever knows the places and paces of its ongoing ringing out.

And for now and always a path is laid

for the eager and earnest to find, inhabit and become.

❤

***

Healing Layers Of Our Projected Realities

Published on June 25, 2017June 25, 2017 by Kasha RosaLeave a comment

by Kalayna Colibri

astral-projection

Our conditioning living deep within, gives us overlays of meaning to grasp at, applied to all circumstances and relationships. We assume much based on our older experiences, our other experiences. We bring it all forward to be projected onto the new and emerging, not because we are lost or wrong, but because we need to. We need to see this day as grey, that romance as doomed, this woman as ‘mom’. We need to feel patterns re-emerging, reinstating themselves in an effort to wake us up to something – but what? Layers of wounding on a soul level, on a heart level, on a human level, compound and break us into new-old scenarios so that we can feel their roots and begin to apply new lenses, no framework, allowing old scaffolding to heal. These known structures of life, familiar ways to see and experience all around us, have been necessary and now, with our ascending selves and no-selves, it is all being brought out to the light. An invitation to wake up, yes. To what has been and what could be now if that timeline is chosen.

There is much to heal, but even more to feel… gifting us with polished wings meant to fly us to new heights, new vistas, many changes through rumbles and shifts. Feeling ourselves, feeling each other, feeling LOVE. We are here to keep working and anchoring those grids girded within an ever-expanding and healing ‘I’ space in the temple of the Sacred Human individual spark of the Whole. Then the sense of what is ‘real’ beyond and yet within the imagination, can become the Golden Earth of relationship to ALL that our souls know and our hearts long for. New, honey-golden, sparkling overlays are possible now, with much more tangibility in the Love Field of us, that joins our hearts and holds each arising moment as precious, sacred, and unique.

Our projections become maps for us to find out more about who we are now, who we have been and who we may become. They gift us with the opportunity to see things differently once the attachment to these overlayed realities begins to heal and move. There is a need within us to find our way through the deepest woods within by following the beacon of projected reality, for this reality IS what’s ‘real’ until it isn’t, until it doesn’t need to be in the same way anymore. And then, yes THEN, we can become more of who are in this new ‘now’, who we came here to become, who we signed up to remember that we always were underneath our needed stories, our life’s slideshows of memories, and our wounds that will soon heal as we show up for them to. This is the terrain to travel when feeling and healing the inner matrices, the falling apart inner grids, the ‘old’ ways of being, doing, experiencing life and our relationships with others. This awareness of even having ‘projections’ to work with is a first step to the awareness and the exit out of the cave, the fall down a new rabbit hole, the entrance to a birth canal. This is some of the more challenging territory to heal and yet, it is so possible, if we can say ‘yes’ to the need for a mirror that helps us see more of it within us and follow the golden thread of Love wherever it wants to lead us to inside and outside of us.

In SoulFullHeart, we offer ongoing sessions, group calls, and plenty of online support through writings, videos, recordings, etc that lead you deeper into your own awareness of your overlays and projections that colour your life and create the patterns you’ve lived into. Through the connection to parts of you that we offer, support and facilitate, you will find more of your shadow, your light, your reasons for having become the way you are now, claiming the life you are now. If you would like to know more about us, our community and the healing gifts we are here to offer you, please visit www,soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information. ❤

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The Desire To Mate And Create As Sacred Humans

Published on June 21, 2017June 25, 2017 by Kasha RosaLeave a comment

by Kalayna Colibri

couples-tattoos-heart-in-hands

We are wired for creation it seems, as human BEings, and especially as Sacred Humans arising more and more through ascension… CREATE-ures, who have been created and yet also co-created, constantly, consistently, without end. We are moving more and more into a state of CONSCIOUS co-creation with each other, the Divine, and even ourselves as we engage in processes that allow us to get to know ourselves as we heal on deeper and deeper levels.

Our desire to create comes from our god-ness, for the Divine is always creating, recreating, co-creating too and we are intrinsically connected to all of that and the ALL. Multiple timelines appear on our radars, wanting us to feel more, become more, feel where we are in the moment, yet also see what we are energizing as the truest truth of who we are and the life we’re living. To acknowledge our creativity in every moment is to claim and inhabit our power again, to acknowledge ourselves as high-beaming BEings again. We are the writers of our own stories, we are bringing in energy to support or neglect our deepest desires. We are given gateways to walk through that want to bring us more outward into the harvest of our inward glances and journeys. We are brought into new territories via the vehicle of ‘I want’ and the sidecar of ‘I need’, ever-connected to quantum will, quantum desires, quantum needs that over-arch everything, everyone, every other CREATE-ure imaginable.

There’s a dance here, with self and the Divine and with each other too. We are partnered in creation, as we are all ONE anyways, yet find our individual expressions of this too. We are inclined to find dance partners through different waves and ways of relationships. We are romantic in our hearts, always imagining something (though parts of us may dismiss this for different phases), always wanting (though again, parts may be burying this for different phases), always needing something, though this can ultimately be boiled down to a much deeper need for LOVE… how could this love dance, this wanting dance, not turn into a mating dance too? First with self, then with other? How could our beautifully filling-up hearts and ever-glowing, growing souls not want to collaborate and co-create with another in sacred union, creating from an ‘usness’ of beauty and ever-purifying love and self-discovery? This collaborative sort of relationship is what could be difficult to accept into our lives, especially for those who feel they have only begun to get themselves sorted out, let alone let in a sacred union romance that will scramble their worlds up again. Yet, THIS is what creativity feels like to me… a creating and then a dismantling, only to create something new and perhaps better or more fulfilling than before!

There is a sacredness to every single desire and ache in our hearts for more or less or even something completely different than we’ve experienced so far. We are creating this sacredness from our own sacredness that can never die or be abandoned though it can certainly be buried. We are being tuned back into these frequencies that remind us of our aliveness, our need to align truly with our hearts and want we want to create, while illuminating what we’ve been creating instead. We are given this illumination as a powerful opportunity and it is entirely our own creative choice as to whether or not we step into it. ❤

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Love’s Invitation To Teach What We Embody, Not What We ‘Know’

Published on June 20, 2017June 20, 2017 by Kasha Rosa1 Comment

by Kalayna Colibri

love-heart-light-in-hand

So many ideas float around inside of me sometimes, so many directions to take my writing in, many life observations, spiritual and heart-based learnings, sometimes even metaphysical concepts that can be and feel quite complex and slightly (if not VERY) out of reach of my consciousness level. A desire to discuss this or that in a post, see where it lands, and yet then, I feel the mental exercise this can be and the juice for the writing soon peters out for me. In these moments, I feel an invitation to keep feeling… to trust that some things I’m learning now I will unlearn too and that there really is no ‘absolute answer’ for my mind to wrap around, try as it might. Sometimes the only answer is to ‘keep going’… to keep embodying, keep living, keep loving, keep diving in head and heart first and see where the mess leads.

Sometimes when I write something, I feel such a desire for it to ‘go out THERE’, land in hearts, move others, maybe even bring back to me more reflections of the love that I am and that I feel more and more openly. Then sometimes, when I write something, I realize that the main reason for the writing is actually to show something to myself, from myself… to ‘me’, from everything that makes up the mosaic of ‘me’, as I am now, as I may be in a moment yet to come, as I may feel inside of parts of me who need something more from me. To share from anything but a full vessel is to share perhaps only more of the emptiness in some ways, yet it’s all good and does harm to none, as long as it comes from a consciously healing heart that can hold reflections of its own shadow and light, both.

Maybe it’s time to no longer ‘teach what you know’, but ‘teach what you embody’… this is a phase I have been moving more and more into over the years of my process, and as I continue to feel my heart and what it actually wants, I feel less attached to ‘knowing’ at all. There are moments of frustration in this for parts of me as they grapple with this burgeoning reality of being more relaxed in the head and more lit up in the heart and soul. There is a healthy bridge here, and that’s what it feels like I am being now as I share this moment with you and with me too. I feel the challenge of a woman in spirituality who faces the more masculinized approach to metaphysics, trying to ‘figure it all out’ in a way that maybe I’m just not meant to. I’ve never taken to spiritual study in a way that others have, preferring actually to experience instead. This is landing deeper inside of me now, despite protests from parts that worry about self-image and credibility… yet this world of spirituality feels inundated with this data and that data and watch out for this and never do that, think that, be that… this whole realm has become fraught with self-punishment fueled existences that are actually begging for the permission to NOT be this anymore, to NOT feel the pressure to prove or contend. I so feel this in myself and I invite you to feel this too, as well as any reactions you may feel to doing so… I so get and feel these reactions too and I trust deeply that there is another side to them.

And then, in moments like these, I feel an outbreath… as I let in that this is what needed the floor today, trusting that it will land where it needs to and that at the end of the day, all teachings of all kinds go where they’re needed and necessary, reaching the consciousnesses that are on deck to receive them, and that as all of our hearts continue opening, there is only going to be MORE love to teach, live, learn and give from. ❤

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On ‘Father’s Day’: The Process Of Letting In Sacred Masculine Frequencies

Published on June 18, 2017June 17, 2017 by Kasha Rosa1 Comment

by Kalayna Colibri

cosmic sun

I feel Him offering me His arms when my heart aches for a mate connection. I feel Him offering me His heart when parts of me need healthy ‘dad’ energy. I feel Him energizing healthy sexuality and beholding of me as woman. I feel Him in my beloved male friends and teachers in SoulFullHeart, offering me connections with men who aren’t afraid to go INward, seeking and finding parts and soul aspects of them that need healing, with an undying curiosity and love that then gets to overflow to me in connection with them. I have experienced so much healing and softening because of the love I get to share with these men who look at their shadows and bring love to me that is clean.

Yet it wasn’t always this way for me.

In 2011, my birth father passed away. His passing was a year before I started my SoulFullHeart process, and yet even then I had a sense of reality around my relationship with my father… that many tones and frequencies that I needed as a growing, budding woman were missing in my relationship with him. I experienced a lot of intense grief when he died, and over time I began to realize that some of this grief wasn’t really about losing ‘him’ but about lost opportunities in our relationship. Parts of me were actually quite angry with him for having ‘bailed’ before he ever became the father to me that he could have been. I’ve had process too around how he could never really see me, especially as a woman, and how he hadn’t been able to energize anything healthily towards me about my budding sexuality, offering me no healthy template for what I was looking for in a mate. I don’t hold my father in contempt around any of this anymore, as this was clearly a contract we both signed up for and quite frankly it feels like without these and many other voids and gaps in our relationship this life, maybe I wouldn’t have been as compelled towards the growth trajectories I’ve now been on that have made me who I am today.

Letting in the Sacred Masculine in the form of guides and as I mentioned, sacred friendship, vulnerable teacher/student, (and soon!) a sacred union relationship, has been a deep process for me of feeling through these ways in which my own father couldn’t ‘show up’, feeling how this relates for parts of me to the Divine Father and also to mates, and working with ‘inner father’ frequencies of patriarch and also masculine protectors. I’ve had blocks to truly being able to see, feel and experience the sacred masculine in its beautiful willingness to get messy and tangle with whatever it needs to in order to discover itself anew, its ability to feel and embrace the sacred feminine without wounded frequencies of control, belittling, distancing, or abuse of any kind, and its embracement of the mirror that allows it to go back into itself, finding the shadow pieces it needs and wants to work, coming out the other side with even more sense of personal power and potency. The sort of masculine frequencies that make you go ‘RAWR!’ in response to its lovingly penetrative energy and melt into its open-hearted desire for you to be the woman you are meant to be, in all of your curves and softness and self-discovery and healing of your own, in response, in an exquisite partnered dance, through leaning into the organic (and orgasmic) leadership of the authentic and vulnerable King…

It does feel as if we can miss out on letting in these incredible energies, even as they knock on our heart doors, wanting to come into us, to love up our entire being, if we aren’t willing to look at our relationship with our birth fathers. It’s a brave journey and one that can be quite hard too, yet with the right support from those who have been there, like those of us in SoulFullHeart, it is held in the sacredest of spaces and at a rate and pace that you and your parts are ready for. The yumminess of what I am able to let in more and more now, only lights me up more as I continue to feel it and feel the unfolding mystery of its unfolding in my life. There is no single definition that describes it and in its ever arising love and creativity, I feel so much warmth and comfort for my healing woman’s heart and my ever-deepening femininity. I feel how this could be true for all women who embrace the process of feeling the mark of their birth fathers and also other masculine influences in their lives, but I also feel this for men, who so feel to be aching for something missing inside of themselves that they long to experience, that is so different than how their own fathers were or are.

The sacred masculine wants to offer you space to explore yourself within it, providing a dock for your self-made container for all of the YOU-ventures that await you. And if it’s truly ‘time’ for you to do so, you won’t be able to ignore the clarion call of the fire and love it wants to gift you with to help you illuminate and be with your personal process of opening your ever-healing heart. ❤

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