Filling Up And Serving From The Love-Well Within

by Kalayna Colibri

to love fully 2

To love fully, we must be self-filled, not self-less… this can a hard one to wrap our heads and hearts around, as parts of us tend to be very conditioned to the idea that in order love someone ‘the right way’, this often means sacrificing or over-compromising on many things, including but not limited to, our sense of spirituality, our emotional reality, our lifestyle, etc. It often means that parts of us have been OK with ‘shrinking to fit’ in order to maintain certain relationships, even if these relationships aren’t deeply resonant or nourishing, leaving us feeling drained, depressed, maybe even very ill.

Our 3D selves, often made up of many different parts of us, like our Inner Teenager, Inner Mother/Father (or Matriarch/Patriarch), Inner Punisher, and Inner Protector, seem to have a way of expressing ‘love’ that often compromises even their own deeply held beliefs and feelings. Love then becomes a game of disowning and dishonoring our authentic emotional reality for the sake of others as well as being very self-sacrificial and often martyrs, too. Over-giving becomes the norm and choosing YOU over anyone else becomes a ground for self-punishment and beratement instead of a feeling of needing to fill up the inner love-tank so that you only have MORE to give and receive, too. Chances are that if you are wired-up to live in this more outbound way, you often find yourself drained energetically, emotionally and even spiritually.

I hear many empaths staking the claim that everyone around them ‘drains’ them, painting a picture that their gift of being empathic is actually a burden, which it can certainly feel like to parts of us, especially while this dynamic of over-giving to others and under-giving to yourself is going on. The truth that I have felt and experienced, is that our need to go within is a strong one that shows itself in so many ways… and that the gift of being here to serve love means serving from an overflow of SELF love; a steady stream created within by the waters of self care and creating a sacred space for yourself, your parts, your Metasoul Aspects to land in.

Taking the space necessary in order to find this deep inner overflow is tricky while surrounded by others who do not value this space for themselves. The love we have and want to offer each other will always be there in some form, yet without space to feel and BE in our own hearts and healing processes, means that we are serving water from a dry or drying-out well that needs replenishment which must start from within. It is as important to be with ourselves as it is to be surrounded by others who offer nourishment on all levels of being and in all areas of our lives and that want to support us in taking care of us as well as being supportive towards them.

This felt like an important point to share today, especially as Gabriel Heartman and I have been digesting and sharing a lot about the social area of life in our vlog series, Practical Ascension. If you are curious to take in more about our experience of healing in this area of life and what we offer through the SoulFullHeart lens, you can find our videos on Youtube on the SoulFullHeart Experience channel and on this playlist: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLNmrHdaQSAvInP1AB__TzXykZythfad8i

Filling up within can be one of the hardest things to imagine doing for different parts of us, depending on the configuration of our lives, yet it is so important, especially during these times of intense awakenings and upgrades happening on all levels and the increasing depth of our own Ascension processes! Nothing draws the relationships with others that we truly desire, more than being willing to say ‘no’ when necessary, to say ‘yes’ when it feels nourishing and alive, and to find a relationship with ourselves that is truly loving, unconditional and infinite.  ❤

 

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Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

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The Multi-Dimensional Dance Of Soul And Heart Maturation

by Kalayna Colibri

flying heart

It’s an odd dance for me today and lately, of feeling both here and not here, both overwhelmed and as if I am in abundant joy to the point where I want to yell in some sort of orgasmic ecstasy… this push-pull sensation between the unknown and the known. The sort of acquaintance I have had deep in my soul with being a ‘young adult’ and taken care of by many though there was always an ache to be independent of this too. It’s a polarization of wanting to mature, to have my heart grow and open and beacon OUT in the service of love and a tug on the inside that still wants to stay small, stay ‘young’, find a mom and maybe a dad too to take care of all of my major needs. At times this ‘parent’ on the outside has been drawn through a boyfriend or a best friend. Sometimes it has pulled on aspects of my beloveds too, needing challenges that would come from a parent shaping their child, wanting to be guided in all choices instead of seeking the guidance within and getting messy when necessary. I think some of the more chaotic phases of my life have come as a result of this polarization, this feeling of both wanting to BE so much more of who I AM and am becoming, and yet being content on some level to find my smallness again too through circumstances and relationships and even jobs as well.

I’ve had plenty of ‘adulthood’ templates cross my path. Many of which parts of me have rebelled against, wanting to find their own way. At times it has been a relief to feel that someone has been wherever I am at a given moment before and can offer me wisdom from the place of having walked through it. And yet, at other times, the relief has not come as then these moments seem to ‘rob’ a part of me of being able to experience it all on my/her own too. To prove that maybe there IS another way that it can all turn out… inevitably, we all have to walk out our own circumstances in a way that fits with our soul and heart maturity level. This is supposed to shape our destinies in different ways than maybe we’ve ever seen or noticed before. This is daunting and empowering, both.

Some of this is the ‘Indigo dilemma’ it feels like, or at least this is what I feel to call it in the moment. It’s this inner drive to change pretty much everything about how the world works or has worked until now. It often comes out as a desire to set fire to systems and sometimes even leaders themselves… maybe not literally, but I can definitely own that in my shadow there have been moments of wanting to at least spit fireballs at leaders through a few well-chosen words. Even as I write and digest this, I can feel different Metasoul aspects of mine that live in different dimensions and eras but have been a part of some major moments in the world’s history, including wars and also the co-founding of different dimensional mystery schools such as Avalon or at least its early stages… at any rate, this spitfire way of approaching what’s happening and has happened globally feels like it actually comes from a much deeper core wound inside of my Metasoul that I and I’m sure many other Indigos are actually working at this very moment. It’s this feeling of, ‘I have to grow up (‘ascend’) HERE? In THIS place?? Where no one really listens to each other, let alone what I have to say?’ It has a bearing on our self-worth, a ring to it that hurts to feel as it hits deeper and deeper. We are feeling collective pain and angst and also our own. All souls everywhere, or at least those awakening now, have seen, felt,  experienced much through their own Metasoul experiences, let alone this life (which can be a loaded cannon for many too, in and of itself). To feel OUTraged is actually quite easy, but to bring it back inward and feel what’s going on at deeper levels of our being, THAT is the challenging part…

I feel that some of this global maturation process is about embracing our multi-dimensionality and our parts too. It is about really looking at ourselves, even and especially when tempted to blame someone or something on the outside of us. Transformation is an inside job, really. It is a course of owning that we aren’t quite ‘there’ yet in terms of being completely healed, feeling humbled enough to drop the self-righteousness and LOOK at what still needs the waters of self-love to be nourished and keep on growing up and opening out. I do feel this up and down feeling of being at times in a rapidly moving elevator heading one direction or another yet mostly UPward, is a necessary crucible for embracing deeper abundance and love. There is a pending expiration date on our smallness, a time when the toddler clothes or teen clothes just don’t fit anymore… it’s a time to keep moving into the more ‘adult’ skins that may feel as if they hang loosely for a while until they are fully grown into my our purifying and growing sacred human hearts. I’m still not quite sure what it means to truly ‘adult’ in this world, in an authentic way for my ‘age’. Yet more and more I can feel what it is not or does not feel to be at least for me and the stage I am at in my process and growth.

Maybe somehow, someday, it just all clicks into place. Maybe it never really does, or at least not for long. I’m okay with the unfolding mystery of that. I’m okay with even feeling this tension of the unknown, as I so trust there is another side to it AND I feel how the Divine doesn’t really know either. I feel in this with you too, you taking this into your own heart and soul, feeling it for yourself perhaps. We are creating all of what we want more of in every moment we choose to do so and in that, we are already inhabiting more and more of who we are truly meant to be and become too!

 

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Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

 

 

 

 

Pausing On ‘Doing’ To Feel And ‘BEcome’

by Kalayna Colibri

thepowerofthepausewhyyoushouldjustbe

Sometimes you need a break to reevaluate, to take stock, to go IN. The ‘charging ahead’ is too often fuelled by something that can ultimately leave you feeling unfulfilled, like all you do is put out energy and get what can feel like ‘nothing’ in return. And then sometimes you feel this consciously and other times you don’t… your conditioning may run so deep in relationship to ‘doing’ and ‘productivity’ in one way or another, that the ‘time’ and space to actually feel into how this is affecting you and those around you is challenging to find.

It can be so subtle too, this drive to ‘forge onward’ even though you feel tired and the need to recuperate can become buried by parts of you that are addicted somehow to the race of it all, the adrenaline, and the way in which it keeps you from feeling them. Overriding the need for rest is an act of violence towards the self, with suppression as the priority. Also, without the time for you, the time put out for others can be in-genuine and fuelled by something other than authentic love, care, and reverence.

The hardest part in this, is feeling the vulnerability underneath the desire to ‘keep going’… for parts of me and Metasoul aspects of mine too, it has been a fear of becoming invisible, irrelevant, like suddenly I won’t exist in people’s worlds if I don’t keep showing up despite needing time just for me, to become more visible to myself first.

How can someone else take me in if I am not taking myself in?

I get that in some ways, this is easy to manufacture… that is, until it isn’t. There are plenty of strategies out there for us to learn and adopt for ourselves, to make sure we are seen, heard, noticed. Yet, if this is all really about just a sincere ache for love deep within us, then why is the external still so leaned on as something more important than the internal, which is really the only place where we can find the love we MOST need? This is an ongoing question that I hold for myself and the answers are always unfolding, sometimes into deeper process around the core wounding underneath it.

I feel that somewhere inside of each of us, there is likely a core wound that is similar to this one, where parts of us don’t feel qualified to receive love unless we have a certain amount of output and engagement happening outside of ourselves. There seem to be so many layers to this and it’s intense to feel through, but the other side of it ultimately means more love than we have imagined so far, all coming from a place within that cannot run dry.

This writing today is a form of output, yet coming from a place inside of me that needs to share and wants to share… that wants to serve the love that I’m being served too, to keep the flow going. I can see and feel the difference inside of myself now, more and more. In some ways, I can still feel how there is a layer here of ‘I want to write something so that I don’t get forgotten about’ and yet even sharing that feels important for me and for you. I get to see this reflection as I write and share and you get to see and feel into it for yourself too. Ultimately my intention is to help create a world with more open-hearted love flow. A universe with more transparent, vulnerable leadership that can feel itself while also feeling and guiding others from its own well-spring of self-love first. I want to co-create with you, a world where wounded layers like this can be brought out to receive the ointment they need, without them staying buried in a place deep inside where they can’t be touched and can’t be reached by the love that wants to reach them…

There is a lot to do, a lot to show up for, but ultimately there is – even more – to be and become… and the ultimate ‘becoming’ is LOVE…

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Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Weathering The ‘Perfect Storms’ Of Life

by Kalayna Colibri

 

heart storm

 

The perfect life conditions offer us the ‘perfect storm’ to feel what we need to feel.

Parts of us pop-up like pop tarts in a hot toaster, when life offers us the right circumstances, the necessary temperature, for them to come up and out. If parts aren’t ready to ask for you to feel them, you won’t be able to tap into their reality. It’s like waiting for apples to ripen on the tree before you can pick them. A premature picking of unripe fruit does not encourage the digestive system to flow. So too with the digestive system in your emotional body…

This perfect storm of emotional reactions surfacing that were once well-buried or ‘handled’ differently (or not at all), are a tidal wave that can feel like overwhelm and craziness, yet sooner than you realize you wash ashore on a new beach, where you feel and meet a NEW you and feel more joy than before, more settled inside of yourself than before, though your heart may still feel raw for a time. It’s a process of becoming BIGGER than the fears and the resistances, by going through them, feeling them, being with them, not BEING them or all-out transcending them.

You couldn’t have come here to this place of intense feeling inside of you without life lining up the path for it. Even when you feel knocked off balance and like everything is akimbo, this is actually the perfect gift to get to know something deeper inside of yourself, to love yourself more on the other side of deep-seated tension and reactivity. There is a trust that is built inside of you, that can weather these storms and in fact may jump wholeheartedly into them, trusting where they are taking you next.

During these intense waves of feeling as if we aren’t in control, that something or someone else is driving the bus, you might want to write it off as an ‘entity’ or it being imposed on you by ‘bad energies’ or ‘Archons. It’s not that these things and beings and energies don’t exist, but they can be used by parts of you as a scapegoat for something you need to take responsibility for inside of you and something that actually wants and needs you to go IN and feel what’s going on on the inside, not on the outside…

Life’s ‘perfect storms’ rock the boat in a huge, impactful way, and yet even when parts may feel shipwrecked, it really is just another path to your ultimate wholeness and healing and your triumphant return to the love that you are. ❤

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Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

The Arising Journey Of Opening Your Heart

by Kalayna Colibri

heart-opening

When your heart first starts to open, you can feel the edges. You can feel the aperture widening, letting more light out and in, moving love to and fro in waves and perhaps in stops and starts. You can feel the emotions that come up as part of this sacred process, the protests inside from parts of you that may have fears about your heart opening and the ride this will take them on. You will begin to FEEL your parts, maybe for the first time, and all of the storms they’ve weathered in the name of ‘love’ as they’ve ‘known’ it to be or thought it to be, or assumed it to be based on their conditioning and experience. They may be unsure that love can be clean, can be pure, can be something that keeps flowing without end.

As your heart opens more, you feel the healing that allows it to do so. You feel a celebration of the work you’ve done to get here, though it may also feel as if you have pretty far to go, especially as more oil is brought up from parts of you to be felt deeper still. You begin to trust this process more and that this flushing out is important for you and your life yet also for the world too. Your higher/Cosmic heart, your Christ Consciousness starts to become activated in this way, though it may still remain somewhat out of your reach, especially as reactions bubble up not only in your heart but in your very soul. The sacredness of this can be felt, though maybe not strongly just yet, for so much of this pain you’re feeling through can keep the programming of ‘mess is NOT sacred’ alive thriving within your being, still. This is the hardest part in a way, because the mess is what you need and on some level you surrender to that, though consciously you feel as if your world is turning upside down and you’re questioning so much about who you’ve been so far in this life and how you’ve related to everything and everyone in it. This is your emotional awakening phase, even though spiritually you may have awakened long ago. The bridge between these two strata of being can start to be made conscious, yet the lines seem stark in contrast because you are having to FEEL so much in YOU that may have long been buried and even covered over BY the spiritual…

Then the aperture of your heart widens still more… you begin to notice that your ‘messes’ created by parts of you that are needing them in order to be felt more fully and deeply, make way for more joy and that the joy seems to last longer and longer before more oil comes up to be felt and moved through, if not healed. The sacredness in every millimeter of process is becoming more obvious to you and allowing yourself to be IN process feels like the best sort of ‘me’ time you can give yourself the space to have. You feel celebrations as your movements inside of you begin to shift the world outside of you. You draw relationships that are more aligned with who you are and are becoming, though maybe these relationships don’t feel totally like ‘soul family’ just yet… or maybe they do and you’re drawn to go in deeper with them in conscious community or at least sacred bonds. They’re likely doing the same work you’re doing, feeling parts of themselves, healing deeply, taking the time and space needed in order to breathe, be, become, and above all, feel, heal and grow. You could also be drawing potential romantic partners along the way, with more heart and soul resonance with you than you’ve experienced thus far.

These new relationships are the end to your ‘lone wolf’ phase, though you still need and want the time for YOU and your parts and soul aspects that have now become so beloved to you and you to them. As you say ‘yes’ to community and intimate bonds with others, you feel this begin to widen your heart even more, sometimes to the point where it feels about to burst with colour and light and LOVE. You feel oil come up still, yet this time it feels different, because you’re noticing it more consciously, being with it sooner, and you have these relationships around you with so much powerful love transaction between you that their reflections of you go into you and really help you see where to go next inside of you at a manageable rate and pace that before this time, may have been overwhelming in moments. Sometimes the hardest processes are actually about letting more love in from and with others in this space you’re in now. You’re connecting with yourself, with guides, with your beloveds regularly and your spirituality integrates more and more with your daily life, lighting you up with soul purpose and soul gifts that have come alive for you in a new way. This leads you to more oneness experiences, that you now get to feel through a greater sense too of Conscious Duality and why we need both the dual and non-dual as our awakenings open out and our growth keeps moving forward. Ascension becomes not a struggle, but an embraced and beloved process too, intertwined with all of this, this entire process and all you ARE.

The journey never ends from here, though it always deepens as new phases of BEing open up and move you through challenges. You have become the sacred human you’ve always wanted to become, somewhere inside of you. And you wouldn’t trade this journey for the world, for it has become so YOURS to claim and you do so with a love flow in your heart that couldn’t have come to you before. Feeling and claiming your sacred YOU space brings you back to you, your true home and the one place you can ever fully belong. The one place where it ALL can heal, and where your former sense of separation and abandonment wounds can be transformed, transmuted, healed. Welcome home…. ❤

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Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Healing Layers Of Our Projected Realities

by Kalayna Colibri

 

astral-projection

Our conditioning living deep within, gives us overlays of meaning to grasp at, applied to all circumstances and relationships. We assume much based on our older experiences, our other experiences. We bring it all forward to be projected onto the new and emerging, not because we are lost or wrong, but because we need to. We need to see this day as grey, that romance as doomed, this woman as ‘mom’. We need to feel patterns re-emerging, reinstating themselves in an effort to wake us up to something – but what? Layers of wounding on a soul level, on a heart level, on a human level, compound and break us into new-old scenarios so that we can feel their roots and begin to apply new lenses, no framework, allowing old scaffolding to heal. These known structures of life, familiar ways to see and experience all around us, have been necessary and now, with our ascending selves and no-selves, it is all being brought out to the light. An invitation to wake up, yes. To what has been and what could be now if that timeline is chosen.

There is much to heal, but even more to feel… gifting us with polished wings meant to fly us to new heights, new vistas, many changes through rumbles and shifts. Feeling ourselves, feeling each other, feeling LOVE. We are here to keep working and anchoring those grids girded within an ever-expanding and healing ‘I’ space in the temple of the Sacred Human individual spark of the Whole. Then the sense of what is ‘real’ beyond and yet within the imagination, can become the Golden Earth of relationship to ALL that our souls know and our hearts long for. New, honey-golden, sparkling overlays are possible now, with much more tangibility in the Love Field of us, that joins our hearts and holds each arising moment as precious, sacred, and unique.

Our projections become maps for us to find out more about who we are now, who we have been and who we may become. They gift us with the opportunity to see things differently once the attachment to these overlayed realities begins to heal and move. There is a need within us to find our way through the deepest woods within by following the beacon of projected reality, for this reality IS what’s ‘real’ until it isn’t, until it doesn’t need to be in the same way anymore. And then, yes THEN, we can become more of who are in this new ‘now’, who we came here to become, who we signed up to remember that we always were underneath our needed stories, our life’s slideshows of memories, and our wounds that will soon heal as we show up for them to. This is the terrain to travel when feeling and healing the inner matrices, the falling apart inner grids, the ‘old’ ways of being, doing, experiencing life and our relationships with others. This awareness of even having ‘projections’ to work with is a first step to the awareness and the exit out of the cave, the fall down a new rabbit hole, the entrance to a birth canal. This is some of the more challenging territory to heal and yet, it is so possible, if we can say ‘yes’ to the need for a mirror that helps us see more of it within us and follow the golden thread of Love wherever it wants to lead us to inside and outside of us.


In SoulFullHeart, we offer ongoing sessions, group calls, and plenty of online support through writings, videos, recordings, etc that lead you deeper into your own awareness of your overlays and projections that colour your life and create the patterns you’ve lived into.  Through the connection to parts of you that we offer, support and facilitate, you will find more of your shadow, your light, your reasons for having become the way you are now, claiming the life you are now. If you would like to know more about us, our community and the healing gifts we are here to offer you, please visit www,soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information. ❤

 

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Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, writer, and poetess. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

 

Trusting The Gravity Of Our Emotions

by Kalayna Colibri

eagle in water mirror

 

“To fall,
patiently to trust our heaviness.
Even a bird has to do that
before he can fly.” – Rilke

To fall… a tall order for some, a tip over the next pending edge for others. To trust the weight of it ALL… to be in the surrender of, ‘okay, I guess this is my next place to go’, without any denial of the clues from Love itself and the invitation into the next layer that needs healing. There are many of these next and next and next places. Trusting in them is the key and the challenge. Trusting that no matter what it feels like in these moments of letting in feeling, there is a shore we will wash up on, renewed, letting in so much more than we once could – wow, this can be the hardest piece of it all, can’t it?

There is a lot to learn to love about our emotional reality, even though the heaviness can sometimes feel as if it invades what would otherwise be a fairly smooth existence. Emotional waves passing through and over us need our attention, our love, our passion for finding purpose and meaning. In the deadest seeming desert there is still movement underneath, around and behind its stillness and winds waiting to sweep through and shake it all up. In the calmest waters, there is abundant life finding its way through inner space beneath the glassy surface, winding its way through shifting currents, being brought to different depths below. Our hearts, our souls, our bodies, our minds, are all teeming with life, with reactions, with weight, with movement, and it all wants to bring us to the next juncture on our paths. All of this wants to bring us more love and be IN more love itself.

There are so many layers of letting go, of letting in more trust, of being in more Love, of flying higher and higher still, but sometimes… sometimes there’s a crash landing needed first. Sometimes there is just that unavoidable trip down into the darkness, where our tallest, farthest reaching gardens can live and thrive. The darkness isn’t ‘dark’ at all, just a void, avoiding love, and with all good reasons for wanting to do so, yet the cost of staying in this lack place is often paid in years spent only dwelling here and not realizing there is another side to this cave.

We must feel our full-weight before we can leave gravity behind.

 

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Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, writer, and poetess. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Rediscovering That Creative Heart In Us, Beyond Self Punishment

by Kalayna Colibri

kid_dancing_rain

When I was a teenager, creative outlets ‘saved’ me in a way… especially exploring my creativity in private, or at least as private of a setting as I could find. I was doing regular dance classes and you would think that was helpful too, yet there was something about being in a ‘class’ setting such as this, that stoked the fires of comparison to others for parts of me that I couldn’t feel directly. Perhaps if I could have, I wouldn’t have kept doing these classes, but it’s hard to say. They were helpful for many reasons and yet, they were painful too. It was more often the dancing, singing, performing that I did for invisible audiences (likely higher selves of soul family and maybe star being family and guides too at the time!) who would inevitably adore me and enjoy my performances with no cloaked judgments or making parts of me feel self-conscious, that I thoroughly enjoyed. These parts of me so needed this, growing up in this 3D reality where we are taught to judge others and ourselves for just about everything so soon in our lives, and always, it feels like, because our caregivers and teachers are overflowing with this judgement toward themselves first.

These times in my parents’ basement were so sacred… I even remember buying a headset mic that was meant for a computer, so I could wear it like a pop star! Sometimes I sang, sometimes I lip-synched instead. But it was ALL fun and most of the time, I somehow managed to free myself from self-judgment frequencies because from me to me, I had space to enjoy being with ME.

There’s something about our ways of expressing ourselves creatively that pings for me now, especially as just an hour ago I was singing my heart out a bit, for the first time in a LONG time and I have to say it felt really, REALLY good… my heart wanted to sing out in expression and love. Reconnecting with music that I used to listen and sing to many years ago. I could feel part of me feeling self-conscious, wondering if the whole complex that I live in could hear me singing… and worse yet, that they would think I was awful. And then, I also felt how in these precious moments I didn’t actually care if they did and if they judged. So both were true for me and that’s okay. It felt important to give myself permission to just BE in the music, let something roll out of my heart, have some FUN too. Give myself permission to NOT be perfect or seek perfection in any way. Just sing OUT. I feel there is so something in this for all of us, perhaps especially in this process of ascension that’s happening so quickly for so many of us and can have such intense phases physically, emotionally, spiritually, etc. Where did our creativity go that could carry us through and that was given to us to help life feel like MAGIC again and stoke our imaginations so we can blaze like the LOVE stars we truly are?

As our inner-punishment heals, especially through this work we call SoulFullHeart where we work with and deeply feel the parts of us who hold these frequencies, we can begin to be more in our creative magic again. This feels so important to me, because we ARE creating in every single moment as we really can’t help but do and BE this as human beings! We are creation constantly creating… we shift these frequencies of what this creativity draws when we reclaim our power and see what we’ve been drawing instead of what we actually want.

And so, I know that I hope this is only the beginning of me exploring art forms that once brought my heart out to play, though of course writing like this does that too! We are so meant to sing, to throw our heartbeams outward through dance and movement too, to let our lungs fully expel the old air and invite in the NEW. And to encourage everyone to do the same… without polish or perfection but just our human ISness that wants and aches to come out and play again, create and recreate a magical life again, love ourselves everything about us again and again and again…

 

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Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, writer, and poetess. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

 

Remembering Your Power To Choose Your Personal Healing Process

by Kalayna Colibri

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Your healing cannot ever really be forced upon you, it can only be chosen by a growing and expanding you… This choice comes both consciously and unconsciously, as we walk in and out of life situations and relationships, and this right of choosing our next steps is always present though at times it feels as if it may be hiding itself from us rather well.

Whenever we feel the press of a choice we’re making or have made, we’re feeling an opportunity to experience ourselves anew. From this place we can find a new clarity of our mission and purpose for being here. It can also help us discover higher consciousness and awareness… and it can bring us to a renewed sense of our power inside of ourselves when we decide to choose something different as our next step. Sometimes baking in unfavorable conditions is what leads us here and sometimes we find ways to wake ourselves up enough to take one more step forward, finding more and more clarity as we go (sometimes without fully realizing what we’re doing or why in the moment, yet the clarities unfold anyways!).

We can’t actually stop the momentum of our souls, try as we might… as I go on in my own life and serve others as well, I feel more and more how true it is that our souls know exactly what’s happening and where it’s leading. At times I get a strong sense that our souls already have an idea about where they want to take us, so the steps to getting there are all necessary and also in collaboration with this ready-made path. Our choices remain ours to own… and not a single one of them is or has been “wrong” so much as just another perfect expression of our power and how we feel our power in the moment.

Sometimes the ascension process feels like it is taken on by parts of us who actually aren’t ready for what it could really be asking of us. Becoming more fluid with responding to our arising emotional and physical changes and needs seems to be the real process as we go higher and experience life in much brighter ways. Maybe some of us would be best not to call it “ascension” for a while, as there can be something in the feeling tones of it that has some charge as we all navigate changes in ourselves, our relationships and our lives and our parts put pressure on themselves (and each other) to always get HIGHER. I feel there is an ongoing invitation for us to feel this process more PERSONally. Our souls are affected by cosmic movements, yes, and they are being affected for our growth on a PERSONal, and human level as an individual. We will and ARE dancing cosmically, as we can’t help but do that as part of the cosmos in its creativity, power, infinity, and utter beauty, yet we are also here as star-seeded humans too, encouraged to bring our humanity with us as we flow upward into a higher consciousness than we have ever known in this life… a path we can take WITH our souls and not just AS our souls…

Though it can be hard to feel it and even harder to let it in, there is a huge gift in being you… Even if you are moving through pain in the moment, there is a YOU that you have signed up to become more and more of, in line with your huge soul. You are navigating this in every moment and there are no wrong choices, though some choices may keep you feeling small along the way… but only long enough to bear you into a phase of embracing your bigness. When you have reached the end of your tether to shrinking in your life, you will so know it and feel it stirring, rumbling something deep within you. YOU are the earthquake parts of you have been wondering about and perhaps fearing and there is something so awesome about that very thing… because it means that you are so incredibly powerful and your choices are an expression of that…

There is so much to feel in each movement we make towards ourselves and each moment of feeling life blooming around and within us. We are here to keep it all flowing through every choice point, and flow on it does in every expression of our power and every new step we take towards inhabiting our bigness and our true love light shining from inside.

 

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Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, writer, and poetess. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.