Tag: self love

You Are The One You’ve Been Waiting For

Published on by Raphael AwenLeave a comment

By Raphael Awen

Never before in our lifetimes has there been an opportunity like the one that stands before us now, in the Now. Every longing and ache you’ve experienced to inhabit new energies, new unfolding timelines, realizations of your soul purpose expression, drawing the deeper mateship of deep heart, soul and body resonance; all of that and more is at the door in a way that it hasn’t quite been before.

If that feels true, for a part of you, it can produce anxiety around the questions of how, or will I actually be able to take advantage of this time, or worse – who am I to think I could actually see dreams come true. That only happens in fairy tales.

Well, your life is a fairy tale.

The fairies are waiting to tell the tale of you as you make the changes that your heart is calling you to, in this do or die drama that you find yourself in. The fairies along with hosts of other dimensional support beings await your courage and choice to embrace this birthright of your being.

Never before has the feeling of possibility been so pitted against the feelings of ‘it will never happen.’ Where is all this madness coming from you ask? It’s coming from inside of you. Between you and life as you know it and these unmistakable dreams that never cease to haunt you lies your emotional body, and visceral reactions coming from parts of you to this opportunity that is here now. Never before have they wanted what they want like they want it now. Never before have they felt such hopelessness at the same time. Who wants to step into this chaos, and who would step into this chaos should one choose to do so?

A Higher Self version of you, a Super-Me, as I heard it called this week, is wanting to lead you into the centre of this chaos, at least what feels like chaos to a part of you. This Higher Self version of you doesn’t see this chaos as anything but an opportunity that your soul has longed to inhabit. Your Higher Self version of you isn’t waiting for any outside authority to issue you a licence or an authorization to proceed. That authority can only come from you. Your Higher Self cannot and will not act independent of you, the you that you normally think of as you. You came here to learn about your power and your choice. You came here to learn about the distraction of giving your power away to outside-of-you authorities and then from there, to come to learn the comparative difference of what it feels like to be in your power, and then from that new there, you get to be a broadcast of that very thing into the collective for others to tune into for their own becoming.

The biggest choice to engage this power is to no longer deny this domain of what has felt like chaos to you, in your emotional body, the feeling reactions coming from parts of you that have deeply shaped your life as you know it today. The reactions of deep despair in relationship with your unrealized dreams are the portal to the path of actually fulfilling those dreams. The first step onto this path of realization is just as fulfilling as the next, and the one after that, and strangely not any more exciting than a week or a year from now. It’s all unfolding you. The courage you will foster and grow within this new arising you will be called upon to embrace new journeys in this unfolding of your fairy tale of the infinite love that you are.

What if a romance novel or porn addiction is only a shadow version of these aches and longings awaiting your escort into a new life? What if the battles with money and work life chaos is only a drama awaiting your embrace of what’s real inside? What if illness in your body is only a call inward, nothing more, that resolves itself in self loving inquiry? What if it’s all YOU waiting and wanting to come into the ripe possibility that every cell in your body is attesting to being here Now? Love is wanting to prove something to you, something new, one profound and magical step at a time.

You and only you are the one you’ve been waiting for.

I offer a free initial consultation for those drawn to the SoulFullHeart process of deep healing and awakening. More here: soulfullheart.org/sessions. I’d so welcome hearing from you if you feel I and SoulFullHeart is part of your next steps on your awakening journey.

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.  Visit soulfullheart.org for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc. 

 

Why Did I Come Here?

Published on by Gabriel Amara2 Comments

I came here to experience the bliss and the mess
I came here to learn what it means to be human
I came here to create whatever spirit calls me to create

I came here to heal the suffering and the trauma
I came here to love that which appears unlovable
I came here to remember all that I had chosen to forget

I came here to forgive myself for I have always been Forgiven
I came here to serve the love that only I was meant to serve
I came here to bridge my heart to yours, my parts to me

I came here to give it my all
I came here to fall
I came here to pick myself up again

I came here to understand that not everything makes sense
I came here to resolve that I am not meant to be solved
I came here to laugh, to dance, to sing, and make love

I came here. I am here. Now, it is time to BE here.

*****

Gabriel Heartman is a SoulFullHeart Facilitant and Collaborator.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartorg.com for more information about sessions, group calls/events, videos, community, etc.

SoulFullHeart Weekly Museletter: Consciously Becoming A ‘Love Ambassador’

Published on by Gabriel AmaraLeave a comment

In this issue of our weekly museletter, we continue to highlight the collapse of the 3D/4D matrix, connecting and healing the Reptilian Self, and becoming an ambassador of Love to all that is rumbling and shaking within the collective. Read the full Museletter here.

Featured this week is a piece from Kalayna Solais. In it, she invites us to open our hearts to the Love Ambassador within. She encourages us to feel all the parts and aspects of us in resistance, reaction, and pain while simultaneously healing and anchoring into a bigger picture around all that is being disclosed about what is occurring on this planet at this time:

To become an ‘ambassador’ is to see and feel your next steps become clearer for this embodiment picture… to be willing to see, feel, experience, and come to know your own shadow so that you can support others in their own explorations. To this same depth, the steps of being able to go higher, to see the bigger, meta-picture of what’s REALLY going on and the Divine glue that’s holding it all together, are just as alive and deeply necessary.

The ‘Free To Be’ group call series continues this Wednesday, May 6th @ 10am PDT. It’s already week six and the last one of this first series! It has been an amazing journey for us all. If you’ve missed the previous calls, you can offer a donation at any time and receive the recording and also the link to attend any of the future calls live if you can or want to. There was such a big response that we are now offering Free To Be 2 beginning on May 20th. More information at https://www.soulfullheart.org/freetobe2 

During this week’s call we will offer New Earth/5D energies from within your soul and its experiences of it from other lifetimes in order to integrate these into your current expression/essence in a deeper way. The guided meditation will connect you to your 5D Self as a lighthouse to tune into a bigger picture guidance system that is also in ongoing surrender to the Divine Mother and Divine Father.

For more information about this series and the upcoming group call, visit soulfullheart.org/freetobe

There is a video of sample clips from the last Free To Be series with Raphael and Jelelle Awen to give you a sense of what those groups are like and the teachings that are included.

There are many new articles and audio blogs this week from SoulFullHeart Facilitators/teachers Raphael and Jelelle Awen, as well as SoulFullHeart Facilitator Kalayna Solais and facilitants/collaborators Gabriel Heartman and Deva Yasmin. There are energy updates, personal process digestions, and ways to look at and feel what is happening on the 3D, 4D, and 5D consciousness levels.

Check out our ‘Quotes of The Week’ section for some quote cards you can save and share! If you can, please do tag us whenever possible.

Raphael Awen and Kalayna Solais are available for 1:1 sessions to support you and your ongoing process. Raphael works with men and women and Kalayna works with women. More info here: soulfullheart.org/sessions

Thank you so much for your interest in and support of SoulFullHeart Healing!

You can offer a donation to SoulFullHeart via PayPal here: paypal.me/jelelleawen

You can subscribe to our Museletters here: soulfullheart.org

Check out the latest Museletter here.

The Awakening Of The Reptilian Self

Published on by Gabriel Amara1 Comment

Yesterday was a very emotionally heavy and visceral day for me. I have been feeling rumbles within my masculine over the past several days in response to what he was calling The System. We all know what that means, i.e. the particularities of living in a 3rd density world. Laws, social norms, bureaucracy, money, et al. There was this arising desire to fuck it all and just go live in a nearby park and detach himself from it all. It had a ring of freedom in it. I have the capacity in my soul to just live simply and on the land, which I did in Mexico with my SoulFullHeart beloveds, so it wouldn’t be a huge deal in some way.

Yet, in these reactions there is always something deeper. As was offered to me in our SoulFullHeart Facebook group, the desire to be free is an aspect of feeling a freedom of expression, my masculine expression. That landed very deeply and I could feel my inner masculine, Marcus, resonating with that. He was feeling the ways in which his own creativity has been used in a very practical way in order to survive and manage in the world. Not a very sacred use of his power and passion, but also very necessary.

As I woke up yesterday, I felt an anger begin to swell about all of this from within. I let him vent it out to get to a raw place and then deep tears came. A flood that seemed to last off and on for most of the day in between falling asleep several times. A feeling of hopelessness came over me that was hard to get a hold of so I just let it be. Let it take its course. I was offered by Raphael that there is some grid work that I was working on that is connected to the collective rumbles that are going on. I had felt earlier how these types of uncertain reactions are deeper responses to what is moving in the world. Sometimes it just takes me away and is hard to find me in all of it.

As the energy continued to move through me I began to get an awareness of my reptilian self name Gilesh. I have connected with him briefly in the past but it never got to a visceral awareness. Marcus, my wounded masculine, was a doorway to my reptilian aspect. I feel how this may be true for a lot of us. This hierarchical power structure that leads all the way to the Wizard of Oz itself, the AI. Once I was able to see him, so much began to come to the surface. I realized he was awakening into his and my awareness, really, for the first time.

I saw him lying on a kind of hospital bed with cords all around him, having been unplugged and in reaction to what he was experiencing. It was like an enormous detox from the centuries of being imprisoned, conditioned, and controlled. Very similar to the scene in The Matrix where Neo wakes up to his reality. I sat with him and just held the space for him to feel. A lot of rage and despair came from remembering what and who he was before the ‘take over’ he calls it.

This is quite significant for me. I have been really wanting to access this aspect of me because I could feel how much it has played a part in my life in regards to this feeling of acquiescence and rebellion in the same space. I have felt a suffering in space between and all along it was his! I got how much suffering this poor being has been in. How much trauma he has witnessed and been a part of all in the name of supplying the ‘loosh’ for the entities that were in control of the Matrix itself as well as its AI creator.
It is this break away from The System that my reptilian is experiencing. This feeling of ‘what the fuck am I if I am not this’? Trying to piece together the ‘past’ and remember the Garden of Eden from whence he came. Yet, there is something he knows he wants to be a part of. He wants to be a part of putting an end to this once and for all. He wants to help expose and collapse the frequency that has his race in energetic and emotional chains and thus humanity’s. They are inextricably entwined.

This will be a process of moving from angst, to guilt, to forgiveness, to compassion. I feel his power as my power. His masculine as a part of mine. This awakening feels like it will help ambassador something in the collective as we begin to learn more and more of The System and what it has done to humanity and to its children especially. It is a process of seeing how we have always been a part of it in one way or another. Yet there needs to be a space for the process of awakening and of grief. It is personal and quantum and has the potential to change our world forever. But for now, it is all about giving him all the love that is needed to find out who he really is outside of Hell.

*****

Join Raphael and Jelelle Awen for the 5th group call in the Free To Be series titled Unplugging From The 4D AI Matrix this coming Wednesday, April 29th at 10AM PST or get the recording if you can’t make it live. Go to www.soulfullheart.org/freetobe for more info.

If you feel guided to connect with your Reptilian Self I recommend Jelelle’s Deepen series video and meditation on this topic here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pA7ZjZj2K8M&list=PLNmrHdaQSAvLjwm17eBBTRhE3dbezYJdu&index=5

*****

Gabriel Heartman is a Facilitant and Collaborator with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartorg.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

SoulFullHeart Museletter:New Earth Energies Invite Bringing Amnesty To All Darkness/Polarities

Published on by Gabriel AmaraLeave a comment

Happy Monday! This week there were big shifts in the SoulFullHeart community with the emergence of Kalayna Solais back as a Facilitator and Jelelle Awen taking a step back from facilitation to focus on the larger context and future of the community and offering. We focused on the continuing digestion of our current times and how it relates to our individual and collective processes. Read the full Museletter here.

Featured this week is a piece from Kalayna Solais. In it, she feels through her own personal experience of the ongoing healing of the darkness and opening into forgiveness as true ambassadorship of love:

“There is still a very strong narrative playing out right now of light dispelling darkness. Yet, darkness cannot be destroyed. Your own darkness cannot be destroyed. It needs room to be felt and understood, a chance to make its case and be heard.”

The ‘Free To Be’ group call series continues this Wednesday. It’s already week four! If you’ve missed the previous calls, you can offer a donation at any time and receive the recording and also the link to attend any of the future calls live if you can or want to.

During this week’s call we will offer teachings about the necessary digestion and processing around navigating social relationships with friends, family, and mates before and during the transition. Connect during the meditation with the relationships and the part of you that are most needing negotiation around transitioning to more soul resonant frequencies and becoming a bridge for others.

For more information about this series, visit soulfullheart.org/freetobe

Also this week is the reemergence of Kalayna Solais in the role of facilitation! Kalayna expresses her appreciation and gratitude for the journey back into her soul purpose and offers her own Inner Protector meditation. There is a video by Raphael and Jelelle Awen sharing tree codes as they go on a beautiful hike in the forests of Vancouver Island in British Colombia. Jelelle offers light language activation from the trees to you.

There are many new articles and audio blogs this week from SoulFullHeart Facilitators/teachers, Raphael and Jelelle Awen, as well as SoulFullHeart Facilitator Kalayna Solais and facilitant Gabriel Heartman. There are energy updates, personal process digestions, and ways to look at and feel what is happening on the 3D, 4D, and 5D consciousness levels.

Check out our ‘Quotes of The Week’ section for some quote cards you can save and share! If you can, please do tag us whenever possible.

Raphael Awen and Kalayna Solais are available for 1:1 sessions to support you and your ongoing process. Raphael works with men and women and Kalayna works with women only. More info here: soulfullheart.org/sessions

Thank you so much for your interest in and support of SoulFullHeart Healing!

You can offer a donation to SoulFullHeart via PayPal here: paypal.me/jelelleawen

You can subscribe to our Museletters here: soulfullheart.org

Check out the latest Museletter here.

New Earth Energies Invite Bringing Amnesty To All Darkness/Polarities

Published on by Kasha RosaLeave a comment

by Kalayna Solais

I remember when I was a child, I would watch movies with ‘bad guys’ in them and be looking constantly for signs of them turning ‘good’ or showing signs that they weren’t ALL ‘bad’. I preferred movies where the ‘villain’ found redemption and amnesty over movies where they would be killed or destroyed. As I think about this, I’m realizing how this was my Love Ambassador switching on at a young age and to this day, it’s still hard to watch anyone who has done ‘wrong’ be destroyed or killed. I think that for this life at least when it comes to finding entertainment in watching ‘evil’ get vanquished, my soul decided ‘enough is enough’ and it doesn’t entertain in the same ways that it likely did in other lifetimes.

That’s not to say that sometimes a ‘morbid curiosity’ doesn’t come over me, but that feels like my Lower 4D orientation in many Metasoul aspects in other timelines/lifetimes and also my ‘Death Doula’ coming online, who can be around death all the while knowing and trusting fully in the rebirth process that comes of it.

I suppose that’s what it could all boil down to, then… the Love Ambassador inside of each of us is also a ‘Death Doula’ who is not afraid of darkness but is instead willing to trust the process of giving it space to unfold in a HELD way. Meaning, it’s not going to overrun the light inside, but will still be given a voice and a place to be felt in the heart. Darkness needs light and light needs darkness for balance and to create an understanding and compassionate world.

There is still a very strong narrative playing out right now of light dispelling darkness. Yet, darkness cannot be destroyed. Your own darkness cannot be destroyed. It needs room to be felt and understood, a chance to make its case and be heard. Those in our world who have chosen to be Satanists are showing a polarity that exists inside of each of us. In some ways, it’s no different than judging narcissists as an empath, or even women judging men/men judging women, etc.

Something powerful happens when we choose to feel the parts of us that are afraid of these polarities and of feeling how they live inside of each of us in this life and other lifetimes. What happens is often that we realize there’s nothing to be afraid of, but a whole lot to bring love to. We realize that there’s nothing to vanquish but a lot of pain to feel. We realize that the Divine has already forgiven every single bit of harm caused to ourselves and others and that the key to letting this in isn’t contrition or punishment in any form, but instead in realizing the reasons for it all. This helps us find the remorse in our hearts and souls. This helps us find those tears of remembrance of Divine love and holding. This helps us open our hearts back up again, feeling Divine support for our explorations of these polarities and an understanding of why we’ve needed to do this.

I don’t feel like New Earth is shaping up to be a reality where all darkness is simply ‘gone from this earth’, moving on to another dimension to work out its ‘stuff’. I feel like it’s all needing a process of integration and amnesty, starting within. The movie Dark Crystal was ALWAYS onto something here… and in the book Prism of Lyra, we see this theme as well, of polarities becoming separate when they are really needing to come back together as one once again, BUT, in a NEW way that honours what both have learned on their sacred journeys of being separate from one another.

I feel this invitation every day, to feel and heal the polarities within so that I can take every single part and Metasoul aspect with me into the new. I feel this invitation always going out to the collective too, to every single soul, waiting for the moment when it can truly land. This could be a very long process, yet, my Love Ambassador trusts the playout and the timing and that this is where we’re all heading.  It’s up to us how long this journey takes, but it IS moving and in another way, it’s already completed and we’re just trying to catch up to that reality!

Much love to you and every expression of your awakening Love Ambassador too. ❤

Kalayna

***

Kalayna Solais is a SoulFullHeart Women’s Facilitator, collaborator, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheart.org for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

 

Freeing The Inner Masculine From Enslavement To Joyful Embodiment

Published on by Gabriel Amara1 Comment

The Inner Masculine journey of healing is ongoing. Getting to know mine more and more each day has been a gift for both of us. Some days he feels light and airy, other days things just start to pile up one right after another. After having another session with Raphael a couple of days ago, we felt with my Inner Masculine how tired and in fear he has been most of this life. These feelings have been assuaged by lots of problem solving, working, busyness, and information gathering. Sex may have been the one thing that brought any relief, even if that feeling was short-lived.

As we continued to feel with my Inner Masculine, Raphael asked him what would be his ultimate expression if all of those overlording conditions were not present. His response was simply ‘Joy’. Unadulterated joy. That and unending acts of creation and service to others. Joy is a frequency that has been an elusive state of being most of my life. I have felt happy, content, and joyful in moments both short and long-term, but to really have an anchor in a Joy state while still feeling what is real in all moments, seems almost like a pipe dream to him.

What is authentic and genuine Joy as a core place rather than some elusive response based on external conditions? “Your guess is as good as mine!”, he wants to say. Yet there is a very visceral desire and awareness that this state does, in fact, exist. It is being broadcast by my Higher Self and the Divine. So he senses the home frequency, he just hasn’t been able to leave his country of condition to land in his country of origin.

As a tap into my Metasoul around this, as I did on the last SoulFullHeart Free To Be call, I can feel an enslavement consciousness, whereby I can see and feel both the slave holder and the slave. Both are actually held in tyranny. One on the outside and the other from within. The consciousness prevails over both. As the slave holder could feel this, he realized how this energy is a self-fulfilling loop and nobody gets anywhere from it. It is the proverbial self-made prison we create and we are given plenty of evidence that this is alive and well from the outside world.

The masculine has been in such darkness for so long. There is such a passionate desire to break those energetic chains and its punishing consciousness. To raise the sword of our power and cut those chains from within and release the enslavement into enheartenment. Release the Inner Child and the Inner Feminine so they can lead this masculine into the promised land of Joy, Abundance, and Service with Love. That is the daily ‘work’. That is the place where true alchemy can manifest our heaven on earth from within.

*****

You can still join us for our ongoing six week group call series Free To Be: Navigating the 3D Matrix to New Earth Transition. Our next group call is this Wednesday, April 22nd at 10:00am PDT in which we will discuss navigating relationships during this time, including sharings about the Inner Punisher and meditation to connect to your current relationships and shift to 5D sense of them. You can receive the recordings of any group calls you may have missed and the zoom link to join future ones at any time by open donation. There is more info here: soulfullheart.org/freetobe

*****

Gabriel Heartman is a facilitant, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Letting In A New World Order Of Love

Published on by Gabriel Amara3 Comments

Two worlds are taking up the same space at the same time. Hell, there are infinite worlds doing that but I feel to keep it simple. These two worlds have an order to them. One is centered on control and fear. The other, on abundance and love. Then there is the space between. The space a lot of us are in right now that can cause quite a bit of a roller coaster feeling.

These New World Orders are not in conflict with each other. They know themselves pretty well. The conflict arises when choosing which one to subscribe to or heal from. When my Inner Protector/Masculine looks out into the external world, he can find lots of evidence that the ‘negative’ Order is in full force ready to take its game to the next level. He is also connected quite intimately to my Reptilian self that has been very much a part of this Archonic world order.

Connecting this morning with these aspects of myself I could feel how hard it is for them to see the light at the end of the tunnel sometimes. They are getting better. It takes time to turn a ship whose inertia (conditioning) has created a consciousness that lends itself to unworth and fear. The fear, at its core, was not actually about being controlled or a loss of freedom, rather it was a fear of not being able to let in love.

Now that is a new direction! What paves the way to this New World of Love and Abundance is feeling every damn thing that keeps me from letting in this world. It is not waiting for a news conference or an act of Congress, but my own self-empowered, God-given choice to feel! I don’t create New Earth, I LET…IT…IN! It is already here and has always been here. Yet we all have programming and trauma to attend to that are like bricks in the wall between here and there.

This is found by digging in the dirt, not in the news. A part of me may get some sense of hope that the world is changing but if I don’t heal the very thing that co-created this gong show then it will just go right back and then these parts of me will have all the evidence they needed to say “I told you so.”

They need me to show up every damn day. They need a space to express and a space to feel. This removes one more brick in the wall and a clearer picture of what is right in front of me. A kingdom of heaven. One that exists in every single one of us. But it takes work and it takes patient persistence. Feeling can hurt like a mother, but not feeling is its own hell. Having space held is not a weakness, it is a self-loving choice to let go of all the things that keep you free and keep you from Love.

New Earth is here. We just need to claim it by feeling why it’s not.

*****

Gabriel Heartman is a facilitant, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Stewarding Your Future Self Through Feeling

Published on by Raphael Awen1 Comment

‘You can have whatever you want, if you’re willing to really let the want live in you, change you, move you.’

This is the message that comes to me as I tune in my future self. It’s a lot to let in, isn’t it?

Our ability as a consciousness to host both desire and despair is one of the most unique things about our being. The life each of us has at present is very much formed of our desire and our despair, often however, without our conscious awareness. Even in our sleep we are creators.

If this is true, then getting familiar and relational with both our desire and our despair is profound life altering work. It’s also the kind of work that is so good that no aspect of it really wants to be skipped over to get to the destination. It’s the journey that our soul signed up for, because it always has had and never actually lost the destination.

If that’s true, then how do we become relational with our desire and despair to the point of being a conscious creator?

It’s kind of like the disillusioned couple sitting down to have finally have the heart to heart discussion they’ve been avoiding, previously hoping would just take care of itself somehow. Simply being honest first with oneself, then being trans-‘parent’ with another parents a new reality into being. Old completions and new beginnings are allowed to flow. Using one another to stay stuck and sequestered from life let’s go.

But all this can happen inside of you – you to you. You can feel the polarized parts of yourself each holding to different desires as well as undigested despairs. You choosing this emotional exploration inside is the true leadership you’ve been waiting and wanting to inhabit for yourself. This is high level ambassador work that truly changes the life you are currently living.

If feeling this awakens your desire and despair, then I feel you can take that as a sign that your future self is wanting your attention. Your own knower knows this is true. Now it’s just a matter of responding to it.

*****

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.  Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc.

The Unraveling And Balancing Of The Inner Masculine

Published on by Gabriel Amara1 Comment

The masculine in us all can be a complex creature even underneath what can appear to be a simplified projection. Its laser pointed directive and ability to navigate so much on the 3D plane has so many benefits and qualities that are so needed in our daily lives.

Yet when that very focus finds itself tied in knots due to overwhelm, judgement, and uncertainty it really needs the feminine to come in and hold space for its unraveling. This is where the masculine gets to feel what he has been truly been holding, and simultaneously not feeling.

Since my induction back into the SoulFullHeart world, as well as the flipping of my previous script due to the feardemic, my masculine has been on a bit of unbalanced ground. While so very grateful for being back in the orbit of soul family and choosing to stay here in Victoria during this time, my inner masculine has been trying to navigate two worlds at once.

One world, the 3D world, is represented by online teaching work and making sense of what the next timeline is going to look and feel like so he can activate the usual levers and pulleys that make it all sail with minimal discomfort and chaos.

The other world, the 4D/5D world, is one that has him on the ropes half the time. It is a world of trust, surrender, and inherent joy and he just doesn’t know how to fit into that sometimes. He says, “Just give me something to do, and I will do it!”. As I connect with myself from this world, I can feel his anxiety and his discombobulation. So I breathe with him.

When we sit in rest together, just being and feeling, the anxiety bubbles and then pops into vulnerability. Into tears. Into the feeling that he is not enough. Into a feeling that he is feeling like he is losing his ability to ‘hold it all together’ in the face of so much change, momentum, and goodness.

The feminine in me comes to his aid and just sits with him. She invites him to lean in when he has felt like he has had to be the lead all the time. She is not looking for a warrior or a soldier, she is looking for his truth. His needs. His real-ity. That is his royalty.

As the tears flowed and the energy of all that he has been holding for the past several months came to the surface, a calm came into his being. Not a cure, but a calm. He knows he still has things to feel. Things to continue to let go and let in. He so much wants to be a King to her Queen.

The first step is admitting when he doesn’t feel this way and that it is okay. This is where she comes in to hold that space for him to arise anew. To be resurrected from an old way of being in the world. For that world is dying, and he is being reborn into his sacred service of heart-centered leadership.

*****

Gabriel Heartman is a facilitant, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.