Romance – Page 10 – Divine Self Embodiment Blog (Formerly SoulFullHeart)

This ‘Time’ We Found Us In Ourselves

Published on October 2, 2017 by Gabriel Heartman1 Comment

KandG

There have been many ‘times’ we have danced to this tune

One that seemed to be missing a note we kept looking for in the other

But could never seem to find for it was always in our own hearts.

Times that we found ourselves in desperate need of a key that we had all along.

This ‘time’ around we found us in ourselves.

We have opened the doors to the universe within and we found us…..inside.

You were never ‘out there’ but always in here

A reflection of my own self-generated love glow

As I am unto you, my love

I reflect the timelessness of your aged soul

That shines brighter than any star in the canvass of the heavens

The golden ray of your glistening love-eyes

That pierce the veil of any hardened surface in my heart

The eloquent weaving of your masterful words

That lay rose petal paths to the depths of my poet’s muse

You offer me a mirror of my own inner courage and strength

To lead a thousand souls to the glory of our human story

Of the passion of my creative spinnings and inkings

That find their way upon paper made planes

Of my own unlimited journey into the depths of your infinite love

We shall sail this one…this time, my love…on the waves of our NOW

Keeping our hearts attuned to the loved-up Self within

To spill its abundance of treasure and pleasure upon our hungry shores

Letting each moment become like a forgotten remembrance

Of the love we never left behind

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life. Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

This Sacred Union Dance With You

Published on October 2, 2017October 2, 2017 by Kasha RosaLeave a comment

by Kalayna Colibri (for Gabriel Heartman)

G & K collage, 2017

With ease we love.

As love we breathe.

In each moment with you
with us…
a place of golden hues
and sinews of silky love tones
uniting our hearts, souls
and bodies too…

Years, lifetimes
and no time
bring poignant everythings
and love flow
like crashing waves upon a hungry shore.

In you I see me and the mateship within
With you I feel us and the starships of all
and in constancy the ceiling above
continues its upward flight
on cotton clouds of whispered rememberances
and newly arising constellations.

May we love until the stars fall backward
into laps of ancient gods unknown.

And our inward glances
bring new tidings
of a love that is meant for all!

***

Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

We Are A Mysterious Love Story

Published on September 29, 2017September 29, 2017 by Gabriel Heartman1 Comment

Love stories captivate us because we can feel so much of our own desires and reflections in them. They represent our deepest yearnings and lived-in experiences. They help us to feel what it is that lies underneath that which is underneath. We ache for connection so that we can see and feel ourselves in ways we have hard time seeing on our own. So the story is also about us. Our own desire to feel the love within us that is solely about us. As this is cultivated through much inner work, the story seeks to hear itself through the heart of another.

We live in a love story. We are writing it everyday. How we run from it, dampen it, hide it, surrender to it, and dance with it. There are parts of us that are working extra hard each and every moment to keep from really feeling it because of its capacity to change everything in an instant. The current stories we are living in other dimensions have a huge impact on how we are weaving this one together. Are we recapitulating some of the same themes over and over, or have we chosen to consciously rewrite the script to match what our highest timeline wants for us? What it is we ultimately want, but are too afraid to just ask for and pursue. There is a lot at stake for the part of us that has been keeping the story rolling just fine the way it is, even if it is suffering over it.

There is a timing of it all too. The Divine, I am learning, truly knows best even if we haven’t the faintest clue of the whys. It is the work of feeling our inner world, going into the depths of our story consciously to see why we wrote it the way we did and if that is the way we want to continue writing it. We see things when we need to see them and when something else in the plot has shifted first. Not a minute before or a minute after. It is all perfect and all we are doing is giving it a little boost along the way by choosing to participate in this actively and with the awareness that we are in a mystery.

I write this as I have found my heart in a state of joy after really letting in the woman that has been in my life for the last 5 years, Kalayna Colibri. We began as facilitants in SoulFullHeart, then had a few incarnations as mates, had months of non-contact, and then reemerged as close friends but always with that deep care that seemed to follow us where ever we were. We could not go back into another romance for our inner stories had not been ready for it. Other plot pieces needed to weave in and out, and we needed our own time to actively engage in healing the chapters of the “past”. As we began to feel more of our own uniqueness and our own self-love could we begin to see each other in a new way than before. We could feel how the love that was always there just needed to be put in a special place so other story lines could take their place.

I suppose the lesson in this for me is that you never really “know” what the Divine has in store for you or what blind spots you are given until it is time to be seen. What is true is that those blind spots are only removed as we continue to go into our own inner stories. As we begin to heal all the ways in which we continue to keep love at bay. It is through rereading our 3D story with all its cast of characters that allows us to really see what it is that we are truly needing to heal in order to let in more of the love that is sitting right in front of us. And for that I am infinitely grateful and amazed to be a part of this new chapter in our lives together.

More writing to come from a brand new sacred romance taking flight. 🙂

If you are curious to reveal your own mysterious love story we offer free 30 minute intro sessions to see if the SoulFullHeart Way of Life healing process is part of that unfolding. More information can be found here: http://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions

This Sunday at 11:11am CST, Raphael Awen and I will be discussing more about the overall process and what space-holding sessions are all about and how they guide and inform your awakening and healing path. More info here:

https://www.facebook.com/events/1529926353733589/?ref=46

Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Creating Our Own Galaxy Of Usness: A Poem Celebrating Sacred Union

Published on September 25, 2017October 5, 2017 by Jelelle Awen1 Comment

By Jelelle Awen

21559006_1558253454195371_7875228424830858967_n — Painting is by Julia Watkins http://energyartistjulia.bigcartel.com/product/leaning-lovers-soulmate-energy

For my beloved mate Raphael, and for YOU too:

You and me, in our altered consciousness….we create our own galaxy of USness just by walking around in each other’s orbits.

We sit in conversation in public places, changing the energy around us, inviting ALL to feel the possibilities of union like this that already lives inside them. A seed just waiting for the water of their desire and intention.

We create these fields, these joined together merkabahs and vehicles of light and love, that transport us to other timelines, dimensions, all our soul’s counterpart pairings….Golden Earth experiences while bridged to and in 3D.

You evoke my feminine, I provoke your masculine…and they dance, as they should, to music first heard from within and then expressed together.

Creating safe heart space….we are free to bring the vulnerabilities, sensitivities, and triggers of our deepest densities to each other.

Allowing each other to remain wild, bonded but not bound…we are able to surprise each other, remain ultimately unknowable, and unfold the mysteries of our deepest essence as we go.

We serve as a lived in, loved in, reminder that the experience of sacred union CAN arise without conditions, situations, and or even a partner as it grows from within firstly and mostly…..preparing the heart, soul, and body grounds to receive and respond when it is time for an other to come along….

Jelelle Awen is an Emoto-Spiritual Teacher, Soul Scribe, waySHOWer, and co-creator and teacher of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. She is author of Sacred Human, Arising Wonder: Ascension Through Integration Of Your Emotional Body With Your Spirituality and Keep Waking Up! Awakening Journeys To Avalon And Beyond . Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about a FREE intro session with a SoulFullHeart facilitator, group calls, videos, retreats, etc.

Healing Relationship Cycles And Stories

Published on September 16, 2017September 16, 2017 by Kasha Rosa2 Comments

by Kalayna Colibri

wooden-hearts

Our relationships can feel like an endless circle, and run in infinite circles too… cycles of pain, of this and that being faced, brought up, fought over, over and over again, while inside of you, you feel as if you ARE the relationship and have a hard time sensing where it ends and you begin.

The same stories are told in countless ways. Stories about the friendship, the romance, the family holiday when you were 5. Some of these stories are told outright, while some are told unconsciously through the ways you’re used to being and interacting with each other. So much of this is accepted by part of you, as being just ‘the way it is’ and perhaps the way it has always been. The relationships you see around you don’t challenge this mind and heart-set of yours either, as they are stuck in the same or very similar loops and cycles. There are certain questions that are never asked about the health of it all and the degree to which it’s self-loving or not, to remain in these stories. Sometimes the Pleasantville experience of it all isn’t so pleasant, yet you remain and aren’t encouraged to ask why… and often the answer to the ‘why’ is that there are fears and more unanswered questions about how life would look without these relationships in place, or at least in the same place they’ve always been up ’til now.

To remain fully involved in all relationships around you without a chance to go inward and discover YOU leads to a world of intense defenses and protection instead of healthy boundaries. It asks parts of you to blend-in, merge, become the relationships instead of feeling what they feel. It asks you to put a stopper in your own growth and the growth of others too. There is so much more to be discovered within you, if you can find a way to take the space you need… and to listen to that voice within, that wants to help clarify for you what you need and want most and what you are most worthy of experiencing in relationship with yourself and others.

To go into YOU… this is risky for these relationships. It does ask them to change as you change, and often it seems that others aren’t willing to come with you. They have a choice to go inside too, to join you on your path or find their own. There is nothing wrong here, there is only what is real… which is perhaps the hardest thing to trust. What is real is what heals and is also what grounds you into the new soil your roots of heart and soul are aching to grow in – the garden bed of a budding ‘self’ that wants to flourish in its self-ness and explore relationships with others from a new place of worth and love that flows deeply on the inside of a YOU that you are now coming to know and become.

____

Tomorrow at 11:11 CST, there will be a live stream taking place on Facebook, with Raphael and Jelelle Awen. They will be talking about SoulFullHeart, the 3D self, and anything else they feel to share. Please stop by and feel free to ask questions, comment, or just give them some love! https://www.facebook.com/events/1273156469462294

In SoulFullHeart, we offer an ongoing process where you feel parts of you as well as your 3D/4D/5D selves.It is an in-depth healing process that forever deepens and expands. If you are curious to know more and/or may wish to sign-up for a free 30-min intro session, please visit: http://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions

***

Issues With The Twin Flame Paradigm

Published on August 29, 2017August 29, 2017 by Jelelle Awen5 Comments

By Jelelle Awen

This is coming up again recently, so I wanted to reshare what I’ve written about the issues of the twin flame relationship paradigm and what we offer in SoulFullHeart in contrast to this. We feel the ground of sacred union with counterpart mates as being about HEALTHY transactability in ALL areas of body, soul, mind, AND – most importantly – heart. Rather than fixate on what the soul capacity is of the bond, it is all about the nourishment, intimacy, vulnerability, and realness that is able to transact between the two partners in a MUTUAL desire for the exploration for which both are focused on their self healing….which we are offering is effectively accessed through our SoulFullHeart parts work process.

The sense that we share the same soul with someone else just doesn’t feel true to me or resonate for me nor has it been validated by any of my higher self guides/aspects….. other than the BIGGER sense that we all come ultimately from the same Divine Source. I feel there CAN be deep Metasoul connections between two souls and many counterpart pair bondings, many mateship energy expressions across dimensions, timelines, species, etc. I have experienced this with Raphael Awen and written about it many times too.

I get how this Metasoul pair bonding could feel like you ARE the same soul, yet I think there are dangers in thinking this way. The biggest issue to me is when the twin flame paradigm is used by parts of people to loop in suffering patterns, push-pull dynamics, unworthiness, stay stuck in ‘waiting’ for someone rather than healthily letting go and moving on, etc. In general, I feel that over attachment to the ‘idea’ of someone being your twin is ultimately just another expression of 3D codependence expressing itself as a grab to get needs met by another person rather than by focusing within.

Here is a video of Raphael and I talking at a Divine Masculine and Divine Feminine Arising Summit about sacred unions versus scared unions:

I offer more about this in this article about letting go of the idea of twin flame to focus on the inner sacred union or mateship.

Here are more writings about sacred union counterpart mates and Metasoul mateships.

Jelelle Awen is an Emoto-Spiritual Teacher, Soul Scribe, waySHOWer, and co-creator and teacher of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. She is author of Sacred Human, Arising Wonder: Ascension Through Integration Of Your Emotional Body With Your Spirituality and Keep Waking Up! Awakening Journeys To Avalon And Beyond . Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions with SoulFullHeart Facilitators, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Post-Eclipse Activations Of Our Highest Timelines Continuing To Integrate Into Our Emotional And Physical Bodies

Published on August 25, 2017August 31, 2017 by Jelelle Awen5 Comments

By Jelelle Awen

eclipse3 — Photo of the eclipse was taken by Ted Hesser Photography

So much collective attention being focused on the recent total solar eclipse INcreased the energies that were available during it. All souls were offered the codes/information/memories of their highest timelines, highest expression lives in their human body that are ALREADY happening. Your highest timeline is your service of love life for which you are aligned to your Divine self expressing as a human. For some, this highest timeline reality would just ‘bounce’ off their unawakened 3D self, yet WOULD go into their 4D transitional self and their higher self…..even if not consciously being connected to yet.

This ‘seed’ of higher dimensional consciousness experience is within all human BEings and is receiving a BIG flush of love light water (especially during this mega month of August energies) to help it sprout, grow, and bloom. This might have led to sudden upswells of emotional sensitivity or feelings of acute frustration or unhappiness in some 3D selves. AND rare joy and bliss as the eclipse ‘event’ penetrated their usual defensive filtering which normalizes and flatlines experience of experience. The 3D self might put these sensations into a five sense reality ‘box’ and file them away as connected somehow to the eclipse but not sure how.

The 4D self, however, would be staying up at night, reliving the event, searching on the internet for meaning and explanations beyond the obvious, beyond the 5 senses, beyond the mind. The 4D self would be continuing to move out of numbness, their emotional body coming to LIFE and their soul beginning to remember. The 4D astral self expression may be activating with more intense and meaningful dreams too. This could bring up feelings of depression at how life has been and more acute awareness of how the daily routine impacts you. It’s like you are looking around AT your life and can suddenly ‘see’ it much more clearly, more objectively, and also with an increasing sense of what you REALLY want more acutely. The 4D self is looking for resources to help support their choices of their highest timeline and trusting their intuitions and resonance that guides them to these resources.

The eclipse energies have also activated NEW surges of creative expression and passion connected to the bigger picture. As the new timeline comes into focus for us as individuals AND as a collective, opportunities to make choices (both small and BIG) toward manifestation are offered to us on an increasing basis. Moment by moment, you become more aware of what you are choosing and why. What are you putting your energy toward and why? What is your choice and what is it based on? Is it based in fear and clinging to the 3D, previous, ‘lower’ timeline? Is it connected to love, service of love and the 4D and higher timeline?

Post eclipse integration of these higher timeline realities has been intense and can be felt on ALL the bodies: physical, emotional, social, astral, chakral/energetic, mental. The physical body is the vibrationally densest expression of our BEing and is often ‘catching up’ with the high frequency surges. Amplification of WHATEVER physical stuff you might have going on is happening now. Activation of hormones turned UP, increasing PMS and menstrual symptoms for some of us women. I’ve certainly been experiencing that myself since the eclipse and been just surrendering into it as I feel MORE feminine frequencies being offered to me in all areas of my life, including moving into more co-leadership of SoulFullHeart with Raphael and more balance of feminine and masculine expression related to it.

You may be feeling an increase in ‘ascension symptoms’ such as headaches, neck pain, ringing in the ears, dizziness, interrupted sleep patterns. I do recommend connecting with these ‘symptoms’ directly to ask them what they are trying to tell you about your ongoing ascension process as connected to your physical and emotional bodies, as I wrote about here:https://soulfullheartblog.com/…/discovering-what-your-emot…/

Your emotional body may be engaging in an ongoing purging out process with what has been previously suppressed and put in shadow coming UP and out now to be felt. The collective shadow is being illuminated and seen by many more souls….and the inner shadow too. The 3D self may be grasping at anything it can to numb this purging process and you may find yourself engaging in ‘lower frequency’ activities that feel comforting for the moment. Urges to eat ‘comfort foods’ can accompany this too and in some cases you’ll want to follow these urges and other times to feel what emotional need is ‘underneath’ the craving.

There seem to be energetic shifts connected to the eclipse energies too, with the continual sense growing in me of activation of our personal sacred geometric gridlines, 5D violentprint chakral grid. This makes ‘energy work’ a much more fluid experience, more multidimensional and not so rigidly connected to the old systems of chakra healing, such as reiki and others. They have been and are effective at activation of the 4D self’s awareness of the chakras and their soul’s essence AS energy. To remain ‘parked’ in the reiki system, however, is to remain in a limiting comfort zone…rather than to see that our energy bodies are actually infinite, fluid, and complex. I don’t feel ‘answers’ around this, just a door opening of exploration into these new grounds that I am excited as an energy healer of many years to continue going through with those souls engaged in the SoulFullHeart process.

The eclipse energies activated Unity consciousness too, in a big way, as the event itself brought together so many in witness of it. Ongoing unity consciousness remembrance and activation/integration of our Metasoul/other lifetime aspects continues with stronger urges toward soul family connection and resonance. Relationships based on 3D frequencies of separation, lack, comfort are continuing to be strained, with some just running out of ground in sudden ways. The social body (as we could call it) is being activated to discover the ‘me within the we’, to go through a letting go phase of the old identity hookups, a lone wolf phase, and to move eventually into healthy We-ness of New Earth commUNITY. Sacred union codes continue to be supplied to water the heart, soul, and body ache for counterpart soul mateship, whose ultimate purpose of coming together is to serve LOVE.

ALL of our bodies are being infused with our highest timeline realities. It’s like our dreams have been switched on yet are feeling ever more REAL. Our visions are becoming clearer. Our journeys and the choice points along the way toward those visions becoming illuminated. Our worthiness to receive and BE these visions being watered with self love and love with the Divine. As we come into Divine alignment INside, so does our outside reality reflect this more and more as the Infinite Love that we ARE continues to find its ultimate highest expression in our lives.

The Arising Sacred Masculine Within A Sacred Feminine Offering

Published on August 20, 2017August 20, 2017 by Gabriel Heartman2 Comments

This is what is means to be in SoulFullHeart community. I am inspired, awed, and amazed at what I get to be a part of. What I have chosen to surround myself with in order to heal, grow, and create. I see the world through a lens that is so unlike anything out there and is constantly shifting and evolving. I get to see myself in a way that is unlike what I have seen or felt myself to be in the old dimension of consciousness. There is not a day that goes by that some thing alive is happening to others that sparks a corroborating energy in me. It is community on HIGH and is just keeps its dedication to more, to real, and to love. To More Real Love.

But this Love is not just bliss and sparklers. It is about feeling the edges and depths of what is next up on the healing docket. This is not shadow hunting but a real time bubbling up of emotion that is not supported to be repressed, but lovingly guided to arise in its own time. As one person is feeling something there is an effect among the group as we are all connected. As my good friend Raphael is moving through arising layers of suppressed truth-telling, it begins to activate mine. This one entry way then opens itself up to a greater QUESTion of what it means to be masculine in a very feminine offering. It brings up some angst and curiosity along the way. It rumbles and shakes something in to uncertainty, of which the unhealed masculine is not native to. It has chosen certainty in the name of control.

But underneath that maintenance lies a caged animal. A fire that is wanting to make shit happen and blow things up in an attempt to get to a bedrock of something real. There is a violence in that when not tempered by the feminine within and without. Hence being in community with the sacred feminine is what brings a clarity to it as well as the hashing out. I had personally sent my animal into a quarantine when my daughter was a young age so as to not have that energy in my field as a father. Before that I had a very huge temper and was pissed off a lot. As a child it was an embarrassment to my family when it came up in very immature ways. It was a soul angst and a learned behavior from my father, who had the legacy of it from his father.

The essence of this energy is passion and truth-telling. It is about alchemizing and manifesting. It is about being in union with the feminine to light up the Love Shack we call Gaia. But the suppression is wounded and angry. I chose to find a more Zen part of me to assuage the energy so that I could be more acceptable to another part of me seeking something nice and normal. Well, as this part of Raphael has been done with this dynamic, I feel it rumbling this part of me too. It exists in many men I believe as well. I know there are many that are more outed than others, but I feel this reverberates through all masculine hearts, both in men and women. What we experience in community is also happening in the collective heart of humanity.

So this is a post about the arising sacred masculine, that is in a continuing birthing state in us all. It is a journey from an old way of doing life to a new way of being in life. It does scare some parts of me as the unleashing of the animal within does bring an concern of what will come out, but this is all held in a heart that has been working the shadow for the sake of love, so what does come out will be felt in its entirety and hold itself accountable. It will not harm but it may just hurt. Hurt is mendable with an sincere and open heart. This is the reminder I give to this part of me.

This is also about community and relationship where all of this gets to be played out and realized in its fullest breadth. I get to engage in romance that brings out different tones that go deeper that just soul friendship, as powerful as that is. I feel like I am showcasing what it means to be in this SoulFullHeart community. It is what is possible for all humanity. There is a huge desire among us all for more hearts and souls to add to this incredible wealth of healing and loving. It is why we continue to write and offer to others. We want more tribe members that just feel what it is that is possible even if there is uncertainty on what it all means. Others are doing the same taking their questions and fears with them. We want the passion of others who want to serve it to the world first from within and then out.

In this new era of letting in more of what I want, I want to serve this love to you. I want to invite you experience what I experience everyday because it is out of this world…literally! I want others to reflect to me and inspire me to be more than a part of me thought I could ever be. New hearts bring new vision that we didn’t otherwise see or feel before. We get to play in a safe container that allows for real growth and real love, even if it may not feel that way to parts of us. The vulnerability of that is the safety.

Okay, so that is what was in my heart today. It is what comes through being in this incredible union of heart and souls. It is the energy of the eclipse making its way through my veins and into my heart. I claim me as I claim you to be a part of this epic ride called SoulFullHeart.

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Eclipse Energies Bring A Renewed Sense Of The Sacred Masculine Dance

Published on August 20, 2017 by Kasha Rosa2 Comments

by Kalayna Colibri

solar-eclipse-clouds-man-light

The Eclipse energies are bringing out something NEW in the masculine. It is trying to birth a new sense of what the ‘sacred masculine’ is, which has felt elusive and puzzling, not to mention hard to define. Any definitions we’ve tried to say are ‘it’ have tended to fall short most of the time, for it is still being rediscovered, along with the sacred feminine. It calls for men who are able to embody its messiness of heart and truth on this path of rediscovery. It calls for women to feel it within themselves as a counterpart to the budding inner feminine. The wounded masculine is alive within us all to some degree, until it has really been felt for the protection it has wanted and needed to offer and the tiredness it is feeling more and more as it realizes it IS wounded and does need our love and healing…

This healing can and does happen, the more we hold the desire for it too. It is so much of what needs to be felt and healed in our world as we ‘kNOw’ it today. It is expressed in the ways we claim to ‘know’ what we cannot in many ways, mental approaches to spirituality that do not ask us to embody it and feel it deeply inside of our hearts as arising sacred humans, and it is our okayness and also thirst for war and battles in any way, shape or form. It is expressed too, through our outrage, through our self-image creation and maintenance, through our push-aways from our hearts and the hearts of others, through the walls parts of us have built around us, wanting to contain and protect was is precious within, wanting to keep itself from being felt for what it truly is.

We see and feel it in our leaders and our leadership inside of us too. We feel it in our sexuality, our desires for dominance (though as woman, perhaps this is more subtle or takes a different form than it does for men), our pushing and action-based lives we’ve led. It is something that shows up often in our daily lives, especially when we have not begun to really see it and feel it.

Perhaps this current Eclipse will help bring in more illumination of this inside of you and inside of others. I am feeling it for myself today and these words are what I want to offer the masculine inside of me, inside of you, and inside of all men…

To the renewing, emerging, strengthening Sacred Masculine, within AND outside of me…

I invite you into a dance. A dance less structured than a waltz, and as passionate as a tango. I want to fill my dance card with the names of men (and eventually, only ONE man) who feel the pull, the desire, for themselves, for me, for us. I want unchoreographed, spontaneous steps, sometimes in alignment with each other, at other times not. I want the mess of the self-discovery that has us at times wondering how on Earth we’re going to navigate this one, though we both have the gumption, the desire, the courage to keep going inside as the only option.

I want something I can grab a hold of, without tugging or being tugged on. Something that is concrete yet has breathing and fluidity and room for what IS along with what could be and what we both want, starting with what we want inside of ourselves.

The games of old, those ones we never wanted to play anyway, they are being asked to crumble inside of us. They are being set to fall away in avalanches of pure love and sacred union codes coming in, that so do not resonate or match the currently embraced picture of romantic relationship, which is steeped in much emotional and spiritual immaturity and unrealness.

I want to let it all, all we’ve thought we ‘knew’, fly away with the wind in poignant moments of sorting through this from that within each of us and within ‘us’ too. I want to unlearn and relearn it all with you. I want to feel it all bubbling up and bursting within me and within us, and play it all like notes and chords on piano keys, bringing it all to the fore of our relationship ground, that place where it’s safe to do so and yet the precipice of where it could all fall apart (and in phases, needs to) is always there too.

I see you, I feel you, I know you… I trust the heart that is arising and reconciling inside of you, sometimes with contention and male ‘UMPH’. Ugh. YES. The line of abuse cannot be reached by a heart that is working towards its purity and holds deep reverence, respect, love, care, for itself and me too.

I want any resistance that’s here within you, within me, to BE pushed up, to be felt, to be held, to be loved, to be ultimately moved. I do not want the resistance to become the relationship, the reason to slow it all down. I want our parts to know, feel, understand that you are there for them, for your own, that I am there for them, for my own.

I want the genuine, the real, the incredibly HOT sacred masculine that arises from deep within the shadows and caves of the real, the soulful, the heartful, that doesn’t caretake, the penetrates in all the ways it needs to, that mates and creates and brings its truth, even if its truth isn’t polished or perfect or even UNDERSTOOD fully. I want the shit storms. Yes. The masculine in ME wants that, wants to be pressed up, pushed on, noticed, healed, moved, so that the feminine that so wants to dance with it and with YOU can arise more and more as the climate shifts to one where it can, where it is safe to, where it isn’t expected to battle, to be an Amazon, to outrage, but to encourage, to be, to heal, to offer

I want the ‘shit storms’. Yes. The masculine in ME wants that, wants to be pressed up, pushed on, noticed, healed, moved, so that the feminine that so wants to dance with it and with YOU can arise more and more as the climate shifts to one where it can, where it is safe to, where it isn’t expected to battle, to be an Amazon, to outrage, but to encourage, to be, to heal, to offer healing, to LOVE, to have her stillness that is born from an elegant blossom grown in mud and fun too. I want those portals the masculine and feminine are meant to create together, to bring out from each other, to step into in love that is made in the physical and other levels too. And you’ll know if you can do this, by your reaction to these words, that yes, I do feel are coming from a masculine AND a feminine inside of me too. Somehow, I trust that if you’re meant to, you’ll get this. Your maturity will resonate with it and your heart and soul that desire to FEEL and to HEAL and to make genuine, heart open love that travels to the Cosmos and back again with a woman is what you’ll feel now.

This is not coming from a woman who has solely been burned, been victimized, been abused, though of course that lies in this woman’s heart and body’s history with men who haven’t embodied the sacred masculine before or really even tried (save one, who to this day I still heal with consistently and we help each other move a lot, even just as dear friends). My stories of these experiences are not an attachment, though they also live in my Metasoul as well as my emotional and physical bodies. Nothing inside of me is asking you to heal it for me. Nothing inside of me needs you to be something you’re not, for what you ARE, IS the journey for me and for you.

I feel ready. I feel ready to take on something new. I feel ready for what can only move and heal in monogamous, romantic relationship. I feel a new relationship arising to my own inner masculine that wants to become more of the sacred masculine too, and at the same time, I feel my feminity wanting to arise more and more, to be in the space with me more, to feel safer there than she ever has. To share this with a man, who is also feeling inside of himself a feminine counterpart that wants to arise and heal and be, along with a masculine that wants to do the driving, to lead himself to more healing on a REAL level, to be in deep sacred union mateship with a woman that he sees and feels as body, heart, AND soul and wants to claim with all of his being as she claims him with all of hers, THIS is the dream, this is the desire that is bursting from me today. And this is the ongoing invitation, perhaps right now more than ever before with these Solar Eclipse energies coming in and illuminating, shifting, driving us to more and more healing on levels that maybe we could not have imagined before.

My inner masculine and feminine, who are trying to reconcile something with each other in this moment, it feels like, thank you for taking this in right now. They thank you for welcoming their passion, their unknown about themselves that they are looking to discover, their desire to feel it all. Thank you… and I welcome you into this powerful sense of passionate discovery and rediscovery for yourself too.

***

The Importance Of BEing With And Integrating ‘Lower’ And Shadow Aspects Of Yourself During Ascension

Published on August 18, 2017August 18, 2017 by Jelelle Awen3 Comments

By Jelelle Awen

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“I’m not sure that I fit in your world. I am too ‘low’. I am at times too ‘negative’. I still have pains from the past and wounds too. I still ache in deep places. I struggle to forgive at times. I struggle to feel compassion for myself and for others. I chase ghosts and shadows too. How can I find a place in your bright world? It feels like sunshine after so much darkness to me. I really need the love but I don’t know if I am worthy of it. I don’t know if I fit in.” These words are from the aching hearts of the parts of us that suffer, live in shadow, have journeyed so far and so long in this 3D experiment. They are wanting to be in the ‘world’ of our growing and awakening 4D/5D self, yet feel a deep unworthiness around how they can possibly fit into this high vibration. Inner Punisher energies inside just ‘reinforce’ this message and waves of shame shut down and suppress the desires for love.

I heard and felt this in myself the last couple of days as I am BEing with a part of me that has taken in much, been through much, many death and rebirths as my soul/higher self continues to come into my body through the awakening process. Many tears came up as I felt this energy inside myself. This part has textures of my 4D self…..this part of me is named Jillian, which is my birth name and the name I choose to go by when I began my awakening journey through parts work in earnest about 15 years ago. I was called Jill before then, who I now feel was more my 3D self. These distinctions of 3D from 4D matter much less than just BEing open to feeling all there is to feel with these aspects of ourselves.

Jillian ‘came up’ strongly yesterday in response to conflict energies flushing out between Raphael and I as we move into a deeper co-leadership phase together offering our service of love through SoulFullHeart and as we are also feeling a geographic shift from Mexico to the United States as a community. We are being called to deeper, wider, bigger service together and this new ground and call is bringing up ‘older’ frequencies in our relationship for us to feel. Raphael and I have been together for nine years…..years marked by much change, transition, letting go, healing of gender wounding, and awakening. Our process together (held by a deep love and respect for each other) is to feel where parts of us have fixed into ‘work arounds’ with each other rather than arising into the new. This is can be challenging to navigate together and parts work is a huge heart line, life line for us, along with the loving support of our community and our Metasoul aspects/guides.

We feel a part often comes up as it is ‘triggered’ or ‘constellated’ (as Carl Jung called it) by an outside source or mirror (especially in romantic relationship.) When I felt ‘old’ reactivity come up in me with Raphael, I went in and felt Jillian, who I had not connected with consciously in a while. The frequencies of Jelelle/soul self coming into my body have been the strongest energy over the last year and I have made much space for this integration of them into my BEing in order to step more fully into my service of love here. Inviting Jillian back into my space did not mean that I was ‘going backwards’ or suddenly ‘falling behind’, yet rather that there was enough love and light in my heart and soul to hold her and make space for her now.

In my experience, no aspects of us can really be suppressed or avoided. If they need us, their energies will flood our field when our emotional bodies are triggered to release them and push them up. If we are open to feeling and BEing with these energies and NOT suppress them or transcend them with bliss/higher frequencies (which is very tempting to do), then we get the gift of integration. THIS integration is what I feel is the ultimate reason and purpose of ascension…to become sacred human, to bring our humanity and the most trailing edge expressions of it into the love light of our Divinity.

In SoulFullHeart, we support you in this up and down integration/bridging through sessions, group calls, retreats, community, and a process that we have spent many years living out as our daily reality. This integration process is very challenging at times and it feels to me nearly impossible to do by yourself. More information here about what we offer if you are drawn to go on this journey with us at your side and you at ours:soulfullheartwayoflife.com/services

Ascension is not just about upward movements…..not about a grand sweeping ‘moment’ of deliverance where ALL we experience from then on is bliss. It is an integration of the tough and the painful with the healed…… the difficult and the barely recovered from with the moved beyond. It is the going down in order to let in more UP. The loving of what we have been with ALL of our hearts in order to invite it into something new and beyond. Bridging to our emotional body WITH our soul frequencies and receiving of the gifts of our heart in the process of this. Making room for these parts of ourselves in our ‘higher’ world brings us in touch with the core of our humanity, which is what we came here with Gaia to experience in this now of ascension where we experience more and more our essence as Infinite Love in sacred human form!

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Raphael and I are hosting a group call on Sunday, August 27th about sacred union where we will share more about our experience together of parts work/differentiation inside and with each other:https://www.facebook.com/events/254241058395276/

Jelelle Awen is an Emoto-Spiritual Teacher, Soul Scribe, waySHOWer, and co-creator and teacher of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. She is author of Sacred Human, Arising Wonder: Ascension Through Integration Of Your Emotional Body With Your Spirituality and Keep Waking Up! Awakening Journeys To Avalon And Beyond . Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions with SoulFullHeart Facilitators, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

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