Tag: awakening

3D Matrix Shaking Up To Wake Us Up

Published on by Deya ShekinahLeave a comment

By Deya Shekinah

There is an intensity in the world right now that seems to be in a constant ramping up and amping up. It feels like we are in a pressure cooker set at its highest temperature and cooking speed. I see this reflected in the current events happening in 3D right now, how it can feel to parts like it is ‘one thing after another’.  I am also seeing this in my personal process. It feels like there are so many threads up for healing and completion, other timelines bleeding through, and past relationships coming up for deeper completion. Basically, anything that cannot come with us into the New is calling our attention inwards if we are choosing to go there.

In my own process I am feeling how overwhelming this can get for my parts, especially the Inner Masculine parts like the Inner Protector and the Gatekeeper. They feel like they are wanting to set a self-loving, discerning pace to our process and for us, even as they may use ways of protecting and suppressing us that do not feel that way. I feel them trying to navigate all of what is coming up through a very limited lens created in the 3D way of life, that teaches us to avoid rather than meet what we are feeling.

Inside myself when life sparks things to feel and digest, and with so much anger, injustice, fear, pain and confusion coming up to be felt, I feel an inner struggle at times. I feel a struggle between taking care of myself and my parts, and caring about the world and feeling what is moving within it as the 3D Matrix shakes up, breaks up, and is collapsing. 

For so long my parts approached healing and Awakening as something that needed to be done and quickly because they felt there was ‘something wrong’ and that they needed to ‘be fixed’. This created an intensity to how my parts would approach how they felt, a searching, a seeking which was not discerning or self loving. This has created more to heal and digest with them. I sense that happening for us as a collective now too, with Covid, the things happening in the US now, all that is being revealed to us. As we search for answers, deeper meaning and to fix it all, it feels like our parts can get caught up in it all without any space for digesting how they feel about it too. This creates more for us to digest around how we treat ourselves through this whole unravelling.

Through my own deepening with my parts through the SoulFullHeart process, and as higher frequency Aspects of my Metasoul are coming in as I digest the trauma of my 3D self/parts,I am feeling guided from within to take a more gentle approach, a more self-lovingly paced approach to what information I am letting in and how much my parts can actually feel and digest in one go. I am being offered and it feels like an invitation for us all, to move above these Matrices, to look from an overview perspective, which feels like it can happen more as we digest how we feel and the trauma our parts have experienced in 3D. 

This is not a bypassing of what is going on in the world or in our personal processes. I see the image of birds flying high and scanning the waters, which look like the 3D/4D matrix grids. As the bird we can choose where and when we need to go in and fish or be in the waters. I also feel the image of a mermaid, who can dive deep into the depths when she needs or wants to, yet can also enjoy being at the surface, being in/flowing with the ever-changing motion of the ocean with trust in the waves and the ones she is meant to catch. I feel how this picture allows us to go into feeling as and when we and our parts feel strong enough to do so, rather than them having to be led by expectation, guilt or shame. I am feeling these themes coming up at the moment to feel and it is not easy to digest. I feel more and more how much space and tenderness we need around us to feel all we are being called to feel.

A self-loving pace to feeling, healing and digesting feels so important, especially as it feels like the collapse of the 3D matrix will keep getting more intense for us all. I feel us knowing inside when and what we need to go into, to feel for ourselves and in the collective, that what we need in life finds a way to present itself to us. We do not have to keep digging for the healing or the answers anymore. It feels like everything is being revealed to us as needed, and like this is a time of great Illumination for us all now.

I am experiencing through digesting and healing the trauma of my parts and Metasoul how more and more of these higher frequencies aspects are coming in to support me and have always been here supporting me, even as I could not feel them. I feel the energies of Golden Earth, Lemuria, the Pleiades, all wanting to support us and help us through these intense transitions, offering that we do not need to suffer in our suffering if we choose not to. Even though we will be where we need to be until we no longer do, this is a very soothing and accepting perspective that I love in SoulFullHeart. The complete Love and acceptance of where we are at, the trust in our own Soul and its timing, that is validated and encouraged through this process.

I feel we can all bring more Love into the process at any time even if we find ourselves in the deepest, darkest, densest places within ourselves and within the collective, Now. Allowing ourselves to slow down, digest, and feel as we go, feels like it will truly help us all and offers a break for the higher frequencies of Love to come in. To go INside more and more often for our answers and support, rather than look outside as life in 3D has taught us, feels like where we need to go and where we find the torch to guide our way into the New, to illuminate what needs to be met and moved through for each individual. I feel this will be needed more and more as we transition through this 3D collapse and all that is being revealed through the process. 

Yesterday’s Free To Be Two series Group call theme was ‘’3D Matrix/Cabal Collapse and unplugging w/ your 3D Self”’. The call was full of activating, inspiring and full of connection. These are powerful gatherings with Jelelle and& Raphael Awen offering much to feel, that supports the healing within, that does ripple out into the collective through our innate interconnectedness and oneness essence, it feels like. For more info you can head to soulfullheart.org/freetobe2two where you can purchase the recording for a donation.

So Much Love, 

Deya x

Deya Shekinah is a SoulFullHeart Collaborator & Facilitant. Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc

Arising Anew From The Collapse Of The 3D Matrix

Published on by Gabriel Amara2 Comments

In the midst before me, I see a dying story. A matrix of beliefs and conditionings that we have all, to one degree or another, found ourselves playing a part of. We have written and acted in the play together, to sheer perfection.

But we have crossed certain markers in our path too many times now to begin to recognize that the house we contracted to build together is burning. It is running on the fumes of a fear of fusing to the building itself. We are not burning. The house is.

This can be a very existential experience to our 3D self as well as a very triggering remembrance to our Metasoul brothers and sisters that have experienced a collapse before. They have not been pretty, nor self-loving. But that doesn’t mean they can’t be.

Deaths are never easy and have their own energies to be with, yet if we can find that essence within us to hold the space of this transmutation then we may find ourselves like the rose among the ashes.

Connecting with your 3D & 4D selves with the aid of your 5D/Higher Self, a managed collapse is possible and also very self-loving. That is not the same as easy, just setting the suffering gauge to as minimal as possible. It is really up to you in the end.

How we leave is who we enter as.

Our fear can come with us as long as we are willing to go into it and feel it. This is the process that is supported in SoulFullHeart. It is holding the Light so that we can transform the Dark. We are both.

*****

Gabriel Heartman is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator and Collaborator.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartorg.com for more information about sessions, group calls/events, videos, community, etc.

Finding Your Place In The Fire

Published on by Gabriel Amara3 Comments

There is a violence that is bubbling from within the collective. Just like the collective fear that became evident at the beginning of this ‘pandemic’, the suppressed, unfelt, and unhealed violence continues to make its way to the surface. The reality is that it will continue to do so until we face our own violence. 

Yes, there are systemic problems that need some serious addressing. There is a widening gap between the privileged and the disenfranchised. Between cultures and genders. Between our personality and our humanity. There is a rising tension that the train is about to come off the rails. I have often wondered if it has needed to. 

With the level of managed tension and rage that lives underground, there has always been a sense of a Big One coming. Living in California for most of my life we were always told that the Great Earthquake was always a When, not an If. In the US, economic, racial, and political tensions feel to be accelerating. Goats are being scaped everywhere. The emotional body of a nation is in a pressure cooker being put into a fire by a compromised media. 

As this is being stoked and fueled, each individual is being affected and that adds to the energy of the collective dogpile. ‘They’ have found a way to keep the violence intact, and even when there are peaceful protests, there are provocateurs to make sure it all finds its way back to chaos. 

What action and power do each of us have in these times when it feels like it is all coming unglued? I think that is one you have to ask yourself. What feels like the most aligned with your purpose here? If it is to advocate and protest, then I say do so with all the Love you have to muster. That is possible. If it is to hold the space for the Kali phase of this death and rebirth then hold it with the might and compassion of your heart and soul. If you are to shine the Light of the New Earth then shine that Mother with all the power and glory that is within you without compromise. 

The collective needs us to keep feeling and healing our own violence and suppression. It needs us to get clear and focused without judgment on timing. If you are feeling deeply, shifting your timeline, and aligning yourself with Love and Purpose, you are making a difference. If you are able to really start loving yourself and overflowing to others, you are serving. If you are holding to your truth without judgement of others you are shifting consciousness. 

It may get bumpy and a bit scary, but if we hold the Light and turn that within we can make this transition with Grace. This is what we each came here to witness, experience, and help heal. 

*****

Gabriel Heartman is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator and Collaborator.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartorg.com for more information about sessions, group calls/events, videos, community, etc.

The Suffering And Healing Of The Inner Teenager

Published on by Gabriel AmaraLeave a comment

Tomorrow in our next SoulFullHeart Free To Be group call, we will be diving into the Inner Teenager part of us that has a lot of wounding, BUT a ton of power and creativity. Right now the Inner Teenager may be coming out in a rebellious nature toward some of the ‘rules’ that are being implemented right now. There may also be a compliance as well. I know I had both in me in my teen years and struggled in the conflict between the two.

This conflict showed up as a desperate need to do well in school while being heavily into alcohol and smoking. I had a lot of mom/sister issues that showed up in my relationship to young women my age. It felt like an all-round hell zone for him in many ways. Trying like hell to fit in but not knowing which ‘in’ was really his.

As I feel him (his name is Chris, my birth name) from this vantage point, I can feel a soul that was winding down the 3D experience and struggling to reconcile that. Until of course he met Jill (aka Jelelle Awen) in college and the journey of self-discovery and authenticity began. It was a lot for him to let go of all that he thought he identified with (family, friends, relationships, conditioned ideas, etc).

He is very much into art and creativity and this too was a conflict as well with deep perfectionism that caused a lot of suffering. A battle between the masculine and feminine waged within. I feel him much more rested in with my inner teenage feminine and they seem to be in much more balance and harmony together.

In him there is a rebellion that just wants to go his own way without a fight. He doesn’t need to get angry anymore or judge others as this was always a judgement of himself. I feel a relief in him for no longer being in those days while still honoring all the process. There were lots of good times among the suffering. Those are what are now left in the memory banks when we look back.

Still much to heal around romance, intimacy, and sexuality but those are on their way with each passing day. Working with Chris in the early stages of my process was one of the most touching and healing parts of my journey. You don’t realize how much you are our teenager until you start to work with them.

If you are interested in connecting with and knowing more about your Inner Teenager, please join us for the next group call tomorrow at 10am PST. You can find out more info here:
soulfullheart.org/freetobe2 or purchase the link and soulfullheart.org/shop

*****

Gabriel Heartman is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator and Collaborator.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartorg.com for more information about sessions, group calls/events, videos, community, etc. 

New Moon In Gemini: Releasing The Trauma Bond

Published on by Gabriel AmaraLeave a comment

What a new moon portal today! The last few days have been intense to say the least. I have become aware, through my deep dive sessions with Raphael, of a particular trauma bond that has existed inside of me between me and my sister even as I have not been in contact with her for over seven years.

My sister and I were born very close apart. When many people met us they thought we were twins at first glance. What I am realizing is that this twin recognition came from an energetic bond between us that I am learning has visitation and abduction trauma built in, as well as many lifetimes in one form of relation or another.

I have come to the realization that this bonded trauma created a pairing between us. A contract that we would forever be in each other’s life so that we would not feel the depths of the trauma. Well, I broke the physical contract years ago, but the etheric contract remained.

I was offered to connect to my sister’s higher self and let her know that I was no longer going to hold my end of the bond anymore as it is time for me to go into the galactic and soul wounding that had kept us in a bind. I have recognized how much of this has effected my relationships with women, as it served as a protection and a projection of wound and care-taking.

I have been so focused on healing the Mom wound that I finally found the more subtle sister layer that was out of my awareness due to the depth of the trauma that it was founded on. I am reaching the edges of my galactic wounding that has alluded me for most of this life until this came into view.

What came to me is that this may be true for many of us at this time. Not so specifically from brother to sister, but any bond between two people that has deep roots in trauma. This can be especially true for twin flames. The New Moon energies in Gemini feel to be highlighting this twin dynamic for those that are meant to see it right now.

The trauma bond is something that is hard to let go of as it has such a long history. I had deep tears that I couldn’t place many times today but I could get a sense that this trauma bond was leaving my field and it is almost like losing an essential part of your being that you didn’t really know was there!

The release and detox of this bond feels like a shedding of a skin. It can be a hard process, but when held in sacred space it feels like the most important part of our ascension. I can feel during this time how there is a collective trauma bond exhibited by the fear of this virus. As we clear our own inner trauma bonds, the less energy is added to the collective and thus helps to move the needle one more step toward Love.

I also feel how this will help me to let in sacred romance on a much deeper level that I have not previously been able to transact due to this energy in my being. Quite a remarkable ride the last couple of days. I hope that this provides some insight into your own relationships to see where there may be these contracts that may need a deeper release in order to bring in the Love that we ALL are here to experience.

Much love on this New Moon evening.

*****

Gabriel Heartman is a SoulFullHeart Facilitant and Collaborator.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartorg.com for more information about sessions, group calls/events, videos, community, etc.

The Tears And Cheers Of The Star Seed

Published on by Gabriel AmaraLeave a comment

Tender tears this morning. As I lay in bed after my early morning teaching gig, I felt a sadness in my field. A loss. A longing. I could feel my inner masculine trying to search for where this feeling may be coming from. I felt my mind toggling and gripping. There was a feeling of just wanting to let go of my mind, but what I heard was to let go of the judgement of the mind. It is the inner judgements and expectations of myself that have kept me in a more mental domain for a lot of my life.

As I turned the dial down on those, like a fade button on an image or an audio track, I got to FEEL what was underneath. “I miss my home. My family. The freedom to Be.” As I felt the energy of the words, I felt my inner orphan Auggie. I first felt him during my time away from SoulFullHeart. He is a very sensitive boy. He feels to be on the ‘spectrum’ using 3D terms. But to me he is my little astronaut. He is my connection to the stars as I always feel him in his space suit looking at the stars. Wondering. Curious. Contacting.

I just let him cry. Let him call out. Asking for help to feel okay again. To not feel alone anymore. So I held him. I cried with him. When the tears dried up, we wrote a letter to ‘them’. Whoever ‘they’ are. I feel a host of races that are reaching out to him. Reminding him of where he is from and of his exploring and curious nature. For this is their nature too. He asked them to come and visit him whenever they could, no matter how big or small. To let him know they still remember him.

I felt a warm embrace. A subtle energy that all is well. All in time. Neither he nor I are forsaken or forgotten. They just needed the invitation. Auggie offered that he could help them bridge to the people because they are scared and don’t understand. He could help them bridge to parts of me who feel the same. I saw us out in a field together. A wide open space looking out into wide open space. He had that look again. Of wonder. Of curiosity. Of exploring.

He felt more content. More surrendered. More trusting that we will all find our way back ‘home’ because in the end home is the feeling of being held here and now. The dial was turned another degree to the opening of the veil that has kept us feeling separate. Fear and doubt make up some of this veil and we will keep feeling and bridging to those parts of me that hold it up. But today we got to send a postcard of love and feel the immediate message back.

‘We love and miss you too. We are always here.’

*****

Gabriel Heartman is a SoulFullHeart Facilitant and Collaborator.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartorg.com for more information about sessions, group calls/events, videos, community, etc.

Dear Brother…

Published on by Gabriel Amara3 Comments

Dear Brother
What is it that keeps us apart?
Keeps us torn?
Feeling torn apart?

Dear Brother
What is it that keeps you from your truth?
From your heart?
From your capacity to feel alive?

Dear Brother
What chains bind thee to the concrete walls
That separate your dreams from reality?
What stands between us that keeps us
From seeing one another
As brethren rather than enemies?

Dear Brother
Let us lay down the shields
Take off the armour
Sit naked in the meadow of our vulnerability
And shed the tears of our forgotten unity

Let us hold the candles high
The flame of our Father’s love for life
For The Mother
For our Lover

Let us claim the Feminine within
For She is the portal to our true Masculine
The Spade to Her Chalice
The container to Her ocean

Dear Brother
My heart calls to you
To your quest of truth of heart
And truth of mind
To your desire to leave the system behind
And create a new kingdom
Born of and from Love

Dear Brother
I miss you

*****

Gabriel Heartman is a SoulFullHeart Facilitant and Collaborator.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartorg.com for more information about sessions, group calls/events, videos, community, etc.

The Healing Expressions Of The Rising Sacred Masculine, Pt. 1

Published on by Gabriel AmaraLeave a comment

An epic SoulFullHeart session with Raphael Awen this weekend. So much so, I will need to write this up in two parts. The first half was a revisiting of my inner masculine part named Marcus. Recently, I have been invited to partake more and more into reintegrating back into service by co-leading with Kalayna Solais a Saturday follow-up discussion group with those that attend the Wednesday Free-To-Be group calls. (For more info on the upcoming series go to soulfullheart.org/freetobe2)

This brought up some prior frequencies within my masculine to show up with some compensatory energy, meaning a little more energized and outbound due to some underlying feeling of inadequacies within him to be a leading edge part of this group. What came up for him was an image of a bull in a china shop. Like he is not sure how to be in a space when things get tender. My feminine is quite capable of holding that space, but Marcus, when he is ‘up’, can be a little more mental in those moments without letting the feeling just do the ‘talking’. 

He began to wonder, “What then is appropriate masculinity?”. That was a portal question to what feels like a grappling of the wounded masculine’s relationship to the feminine, as well as a reaction to what is referred to as ‘toxic masculinity’. There is this fine line of wanting to be in balance and honor with the feminine, express and claim his power and intuitions while avoiding this ‘toxic’ distinction. 

The first thing that was brought to him is that just this very question alone suggests his reverence for the feminine and the holding of the sacred space. It also mirrors a long-standing notion that the feminine is fragile. This was deeply ingrained in me from early on in my life as my mother was a very sensitive and emotional woman in the despair direction. This set up an unhealthy dynamic between her and my inner child that he had to make sure not to ‘hurt mom or else who knows what would happen to her’. 

Well, through much of my healing and experience with other powerful women, I recognized that this was a part of her wounded inner child tugging on my inner child. This ended up transmuting into recycled alcoholism and I eventually had to say no more. I had given all I could until it was clear I had to cut the cord of this dynamic. This has played out in multiple Metasoul timelines as well in regards to feelings of guilt and shame over how I had participated in the suppression and persecution of the women. 

Interesting that I find myself within a more feminine offering to explore and heal all of these wounds and beliefs that I have had around the Feminine itself and women in general. It inversely leads me to more of my own masculine expression as I connect with the relationship to my own feminine and how She is a portal into my sacred masculinity and my Love ambassadorship. But I have had to go here first. To my inner masculine and hash out these old dynamics and create a safe environment to let his masculine flourish like the wild stallion he is and wants to be. 

It felt appropriate to share this after Mother’s Day as a reminder that the relationship to Mom is an integral part of any man’s journey. It really needs to be brought into consciousness so that we can truly see and feel how we relate to Womankind and the Sacred Feminine. Thanks so much for taking this in and I hope that it shines some awareness and questions for your own journeys. 

*****

Gabriel Heartman is a SoulFullHeart Facilitant and Collaborator.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartorg.com for more information about sessions, group calls/events, videos, community, etc.

SoulFullHeart Weekly Museletter: Announcing Free To Be Series, Part 2!

Published on by Gabriel AmaraLeave a comment

Yes! It is another week and another compilation of SoulFullHeart transmissions at your ready. As we continue our efforts to bring you the most of our downloads and experiences, we are offering another round of the 6-week ‘Free To Be’ series. Read the full Museletter here.

Featured this week is a piece from Jelelle Awen. In it, she talks about the birth of the first ‘Free To Be’ series and how much it has shifted for all of us here as well as those who participated. With the ongoing collapse of the 3D matrix, as held in the form of a pandemic, Jelelle felt an ongoing series could hold a safe place for others to be felt in all that was moving within and without:

As it became increasingly clear that this was a significant global awakening event (far beyond just a restriction due to a virus), I felt the call to offer a shelter in the storm during the beginning phase of it. I felt there would be much to digest and feel about what would be disclosed during the detox to 3D life. That shelter took the form of a weekly group call series over Zoom that we felt guided to call “Free To Be.”

The next ‘Free To Be’ group call series begins next Wednesday, May 20th @ 10am PDT. Through this Free To Be Two series, you will feel empowered to think about and feel through the practical steps to walk out at this time, including a focus on money transition to soul purpose livelihood. You will also feel the social area of your life and connect to the ‘black sheep’ and socially rejected part of you who wants to step out into their truth in a new way. You’ll receive more sense of the 3D Matrix/Cabal collapse that is going on in order to unplug from it and deeper galactic support/activation from your star family. And finally, you’ll realize your potential to BEcome an Ambassador of Love and 5D Bridge into the New Earth to others and other parts of you as well.

The first call of this series, on May 20th, will be an overview of how the current money system is a 3D Matrix program that is in transition to being about energy exchange based on soul purpose expression. You can offer a donation at any time and receive the recordings and also the link to attend any of the future calls live if you can or want to. More information at https://www.soulfullheart.org/freetobe2 

In this week’s edition of our Museletter, there is a video of sample clips from the last Free To Be series with Raphael and Jelelle Awen to give you a sense of what those groups are like and the teachings that are included. There is also a wonderful video of Raphael and Jelelle transmitting Light Language and Sun Codes while on a magical walk through the forests of Vancouver Island, BC. SoulFullHeart Facilitator, Kalayna Solais, offers an overview of what one could expect in a SoulFullHeart 1:1 session.

There are many new articles and audio blogs this week from SoulFullHeart Facilitators/teachers Raphael and Jelelle Awen, as well as SoulFullHeart Facilitator Kalayna Solais and facilitant/collaborator Gabriel Heartman. There are energy updates, personal process digestions, and ways to look at and feel what is happening on the 3D, 4D, and 5D consciousness levels.

Check out our ‘Quotes of The Week’ section for some quote cards you can save and share! If you can, please do tag us whenever possible.

If you are interested in a session, we begin with a free consultation for 30-45 minutes over Zoom with a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for you to learn more about the SoulFullHeart Process, what happens in sessions, mutually determine if the process is a fit for you at this time, and if so, which Facilitator to work with in sessions. Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions for more information.

Thank you so much for your interest in and support of SoulFullHeart Healing!

You can offer a donation to SoulFullHeart via PayPal here: paypal.me/jelelleawen

You can subscribe to our Museletters here: soulfullheart.org

Check out the latest Museletter here.

 

Why Did I Come Here?

Published on by Gabriel Amara2 Comments

I came here to experience the bliss and the mess
I came here to learn what it means to be human
I came here to create whatever spirit calls me to create

I came here to heal the suffering and the trauma
I came here to love that which appears unlovable
I came here to remember all that I had chosen to forget

I came here to forgive myself for I have always been Forgiven
I came here to serve the love that only I was meant to serve
I came here to bridge my heart to yours, my parts to me

I came here to give it my all
I came here to fall
I came here to pick myself up again

I came here to understand that not everything makes sense
I came here to resolve that I am not meant to be solved
I came here to laugh, to dance, to sing, and make love

I came here. I am here. Now, it is time to BE here.

*****

Gabriel Heartman is a SoulFullHeart Facilitant and Collaborator.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartorg.com for more information about sessions, group calls/events, videos, community, etc.