Tag: emotional healing

Feeling What We Really Want In Our Social Worlds As We Awaken

Published on by Kasha Rosa2 Comments

 

by Kalayna Colibri

our social worlds

On a Saturday night, I gaze among the busy social streets and walkways, humming with activity and energy and alcohol and friendship… sometimes coupled with drama and pain and backed-up emotional outbursts. During these party times, you can feel the buzz in the air that will soon be in every body, not just from substances taken in, but from the high of socializing, being among peers, perhaps finding love, sex or making new friends. There are grounds here that are healthy to explore and some that aren’t really in a sense, and yet it’s all sacred and it’s all ultimately a path to self-discovery and remembrance, even if this isn’t made conscious in the moments these selves, these individuals, these human BEings are in.

While young, being spiritual can find its place in you if this is what you’ve signed up for… exploring consciousness can sometimes happen with your peers, while at other times it won’t or just can’t. For a phase this journey with them can only go so deep and that’s fine with you for a while, but beyond that phase when that was enough, it’s not quite enough anymore. This is when values shift along with ideas of life and how to live it consciously and more fully. This is where certain areas of focus, ways to find pleasure, and paths to feeling a togetherness with others all rumble beneath your feet and in front of your eyes. This is where your life begins to turn itself upside down in countless ways as you begin to feel the need to push away, sometimes dramatically, sometimes subtly, but always in a way that reminds you, you are your own person and you have your own sense of what energies you need and want to be around as your self love heals and deepens.

There can be a fear arising then, for some… that no one will ever really “get” them or may judge them for walking away from the relationship. Parts of them form and begin to strategize to either stay alone out of fear of having and then losing intimacy at any level, or choose to merge in with whatever group of people they are around or whatever situation they are in, becoming one with all around them and not much of an individual in most ways. There is tension and yet also relief as you find your ways to take care of and love YOU as your number one priority. There is sometimes also flatness, as managing these ups and downs (that are hormonal, sure, but also a genuine awakening to soul and heart pain) can be a challenging crucible to hold and handle and be with. So much depends on who you choose to be around and talk to and lean into for support. This shopping around, seeking, searching experience is one that can be incredibly mind and heart-opening, fascinating, and ever-arising too, as resonance moves in and out in very necessary growth phases. This again changes the social circle you choose to be part of and certainly affects the one you currently have as you continue to awaken to the love you are and the love you want to experience between yourself and others. There are so many different dynamics that are possible here and that play out in different ways, with many possible outcomes… yet the risk is always the same – if I don’t stay the same and they do, I will be friendless again or even for the first time…

The strong soul-pull to discover and remember our purposes is something that is happening more and more with people of all ages and soul groups, especially right now with ascension processes accelerating for everyone, yet when it comes to indigo, crystal and rainbow souls, for example, these social awakenings can come very early in our lives as we came in with a powerful, mission-based focus that is natural for us to feel, yet not so natural to “know” exactly what to do with. It can be very challenging to finds ways to fit in with others in our peer group, not because we are victims to this (though parts of us understandably feel this way sometimes) but because we chose for this to be the case… after all, if we actually DID feel as if we totally, fully, completely “belonged”, where would our sense of mission and awakening to our soul gifts have room to happen, take hold and start manifesting in our lives? To not suffer around this, means going IN and feeling ourselves with reflections from teachers and mentors who have also been there and can help us learn to navigate it, often much better than our birth parents ever could – not necessarily because they didn’t want to try, but because in some ways they weren’t actually meant to be the ones to lead you onward and into this.

Throughout the majority of my life to date, having and keeping a thriving a social world was very challenging. This is partly because I was always very much IN my emotional states and didn’t have templating for how to actually BE with them and hold them… no adult around me could help with this and my peers had a hard time relating to me most of the time, plus it eventually became a tool for parts of me to actually push and keep others away. Then there was spirituality and the deepening of THAT for me… and now I am on a very powerful and ever-expanding path that spans both my emotional AND spiritual inner realities and THAT is rare, though it seems that more and more people, as they awaken, are realizing how connected these two realities are and that they need healing in both in order to fully embrace and live into ascension. In my experience and observation both, I can see and feel how this ground of being naturally very emotional and also spiritual has been and continues to be a tough crucible for many of us… awakening does come at a cost, yet is intended to invite us out of suffering while holding the parts of us who cling to suffering as a way to be in life. One of these ways in which we seem to choose to continue suffering, is by surrounding ourselves with relationships that do not have a deeply resonant ground. Our social worlds collapse and expand as we continue to grow… but not without love leading the way and guiding us to our next places inward that then draw our next circumstances outward.

Not having a full social world to ground you can be hard for some souls, yet for others it won’t be and that poses its own challenges. Choosing the path of the lone wolf is also hard and even though parts of you may be working to bury the loneliness somehow, it is still there. These parts can be held, worked with and healed deeply, allowing us to feel how we really, genuinely feel, what it is we most deeply want and who we actually want to be around and spend time with. Our loneliness is sacred and alchemical… it is creative. It is a space where we can feel our deepest aches and desires for mateship, for companionship, for a community of people that continually arise for us as we arise for them. Being afraid of feeling our loneliness is expected and normal, but holding these parts of us who feel this way teaches us so much about ourselves and offers us much healing when it is held in our hearts FOR us and WITH love and Divine guidance and company too… we are never really alone, though this can be hard to feel and let in. Yet sometimes alone-ness can be a grace, a place to genuinely feel what we need to feel, and an oven to bake our arising desires in.

Perhaps you are part of a social world right now that may be running out of ground for you, as your awakenings are helping you feel pictures and energies of the sort of love you want to feel from you to you and flowing from you to others and vice versa… in the end, the choice is yours as to what steps to take next, and there is no wrong answer or true misstep along the way. Even our biggest messes seem to offer us many gems of learning, growth and self-discovery. Letting go can be painful and hard, yet in the end, true service to a relationship of any kind starts with feeling what you genuinely want and need, while holding all relationships with an open hand and heart. This becomes a grace to you and your parts, and them and theirs too, as everyone is then free to go along their own path, however they see and feel it unfolding for them.

I would love to serve you and help you navigate this terrain that can be so challenging and yet hopeful too. You are meant to become more of your essence, your light, your soul purpose and mission. You are meant to lead and BE a big part of ascension and we all need each other more than perhaps we ever have before!

You can visit http://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions for more information on session space.

Sending you lots of love and support… ❤

Kalayna

***

Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge and healer, writer, and poetess. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Healing The Heart of Man From Inside Out

Published on by Gabriel Heartman2 Comments

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As more news about war comes into my awareness, as I do not read much anymore, I felt a ping in my heart and a desire to write about the nature of this and its relationship to the wounded masculine.  It was also inspired by an experience that Jelelle had that she will be sharing later.

In Heart of Man there wages a battle between so many different facets of himself.  The need for control over the desire to surrender, the will to resist over the will to live, the self-punishment over the self-compassion.  The Heart of Man is at a crossroads.  A place where the Soul of Man is to be claimed or refused.  So much of this inner struggle is playing out today in the Theater of the Wounded Masculine.  An ever present theme of triumph and tragedy.  Domination and aggression.  Withdraw and hiding.  This is all happening within.  If we truly want to be a part of another timeline we must first be willing to go inside and face our own inner battlefield.

Those that are in a position of ¨power¨ are mere projections of what lies in our shadow.  We must be willing to feel that if we are to truly change the energy that persists ¨out there¨.  These wounded expressions in male form are but uninitiated boys with deadly toys.  But they all have a higher self that is fully aware of this.  This is why it is so important to connect with your own as they represent a fractal of the larger sacred masculine energy in the universe.  When you feel your own unhealed inner boy and its reigning punisher, you can then begin to feel compassion for those who are in positions of power.  If we throw our angst and hatred at them we are really only doing it to ourselves.  The only power that heals is Love.

In the wounded boy lies his relationship to both the masculine and the feminine represented by his mother and father.  This plays out both this life and other lives.  The templating received by Dad in what masculinity is has a huge impact on his worldview.   The relationship to Mom and her feminine templating determines to a large extent how the feminine lives in Man.  This becomes an inner relationship inside of us that, unless becomes conscious, can have many unhealthy consequences.  This relationship to the feminine that resides within is a portal into our true masculinity and continued arising soul growth.  

Among the boy though, I feel a fallen King that has forgotten his true essence as a God.  Something happened that collapsed this union with the Sacred.  He split off from Source and there is a sense of longing, guilt, abandonment, and rage all swirled together.  When I visit a sacred grove of Sequoia trees that is my personal soul space I can feel many of these fallen Kings there.  They are wanting to be connected to and felt in their pain.  They represent a more subconscious energy that feels to inhabit a more lower 4D frequency. They know what is up but feel powerless and even worthless to do anything about it.  I felt tears for them as I have felt my own fallen king and continue to do so.  

But right behind them are our High King/ Angelic presence.  The bridge to our true essence as Love´s co-creative force.  The rightful heir to our Throne of BEing.  We ARE already that.  They are watching us and aching for connection, to free ourselves from the chains of our own making. One´s that can only be shed with Love and Compassion.  The more we can feel and connect with them the more of our true power we can embody.  The more self-love we can manifest and send back to the collective with open hearts.  

So when I hear of tidbits of news from 3D, I go into my heart and feel myself.  I feel the war raging inside others and send them as much love that I have to offer from my own well.  I feel each one as a sacred brother on their own journey of lesson and discovery.  With each new opening of love within myself ripples itself out into the Heart of Man.  Connecting to other High Kings to serve this love is my calling and purpose in whatever way that shows up, whether through my own journeys, writing, or spaceholding.  I feel the true masculine is a beautiful and powerfully creative expression of Divinity.  He so much more than we could ever imagine and  as we go into our own hearts and face our shadow, the true essence of Man is revealed in all His glory.  And a new timeline emerges….

Gabriel Heartman is a teacher, facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  You can learn more about him at www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com.  Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

No More Waiting To Live

Published on by Gabriel HeartmanLeave a comment

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When I awoke today, suddenly nothing happened

But in my dreams, I slew the dragon

And down this beaten path, and up this cobbled lane

I’m walking in my old footsteps, once again

And you say, just be here now

Forget about the past, your mask is wearing thin

Let me throw one more dice

I know that I can win

I’m waiting for my real life to begin

from Waiting For My Real Life To Begin by Colin Hay

 

These words found there way to me through an interesting route that is so feminine in its nature.  Seemingly random thoughts and exchanges that landed a song into my dock.  I was feeling into what I wanted to write about today and this song hit a chord and I felt to play it and see what tune it sings.  

For those that are in more 4D consciousness, whether just entered or are seasoned veterans (interesting choice of words), there can be this sense that something hasn´t quite shifted on the outside to reflect the growing awareness of what feels true on the inside.  There can be this feeling of looking toward the horizon waiting for something to happen.  In the song, he also uses the words `I have a plan` and `times are just lean`.  There is an externalization, a projection onto life, that it is not on our side or we need to take control in someway to create a desired outcome that hasn`t arrived yet.  That the passion and desire inside are conditional to some set of external circumstances that have to occur in order to be set free.  

I remember this well in my own journey, feeling stuck in a `good career`. Trying to seek many different ways to make it all okay even as I was still `walking down the same ol` cobblestone streets`.  What was needing to happen was what the song suggested and that was to be in the moment and go into your heart. Feel what was really trying to be felt and expressed.  Nothing on the outside could make that any better.  It was I that had to make the journey in and listen to my soul.

The waiting was just a suffering.  A denial to really feel what was evidently true but a part of me was afraid to admit.  A more wounded masculine need to control something in order to resist what was true.  By going more still and surrendering to the feelings, I could allow these feelings to arise and be held in space created by a more solid me and the much needed support of another to hold that truth until I could do it on my own more regularly.  Feeling the fears and resistances to claiming my own power from with.  True empowerment.  Not control.  

Being in a more Yin space helps to feel how parts of us are so afraid of actually letting go of a conditioning or a relationship that is keeping us stuck and in state of suffering.  There many that have done that for themselves and there are those, like myself, who needed support. It is not a sign of weakness but of strength.  Leaning IN order to raise UP.  Support and guidance comes in all forms.  The key is to seek it so that you may help heal it.  I can feel how this can be more difficult for men than for woman but that may be shifting as more men continue to find the value of going in and feeling all there is to feel to stop the waiting and start the living.  
That is what I wanted.  Tired of the mask.  Tired of pretending. Tired of the waiting.  Because there is no time than NOW.  But I hold so much gratitude for that suffering because it brought me to a more authentic place of BEing and living.  It made the alleged comfortable very uncomfortable, so that there were only two choices…and then really only one.  Let go and Go IN.

Gabriel Heartman is a teacher, facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  You can learn more about him at www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com

Popping Through Ceilings In Your “Roaring 20s”: Dedicated To ALL Awakening 20-somethings

Published on by Kasha Rosa3 Comments

by Kalayna Colibri

Roaring-Animated-Lion-Wallpaper

 

A feeling of wanting to reach up and touch the sky above you… better still, leap up into it, soaring into the heights you so feel are possible inside your heart. You get it… you get that something inside of you is needing air and is collapsing in on itself in a struggle to fit into a mold passed down by parents and the media and all sides of your culture. You don’t know quite what you or your life are really “supposed” to look and feel like yet, and many choices (though you may not see ALL of them in every moment) lay before you.

Many, many different boxes packed with possibilities are placed in all corners of your room, wanting you to unpack them and see what could be inside. So many questions, all too often answered by pre-conditioning, regarding what you should do with your life and why, where you should live and why, what makes your life worth living and why… what should be your values, your morals, your ways of expressing, your ways of measuring your net and self worth. But it’s all a big ceiling that wasn’t MEANT for you, sweet soul! Oh my god, it was imposed on you and with your permission and you’ve let it stay there for this long, and now you feel the press of your bigness wanting to pop it open… but society tells you that this is “depression”, or worse still, that what you’re feeling and experiencing IS life itself and nothing more or less… this compounds inside of you until you pop like a jack-in-the-box, taking risks, saying NO, finding your way, crawling through glass at times and yet still finding your way – often a “way” that could not be prescribed by those who came before you. No. It’s YOURS and it was always meant to BE yours…

Oh, the things you are feeling… the stuck places where you feel there’s no movement. The identity “crises” (that are really OPPORTUNITIES…) these are ALL trying to move your compass in a different direction. This is trying to wake you up and shake up your way of BEing in life, showing you with neon lights that this is NOT the way you HAVE TO choose. Your 20s are a shadowy time in some ways… there are many shadows lurking around you, reflections of old ways of doing things that somehow was passed on to you, but now is your chance to find your NO and break through your glass ceiling. You do have the power to burst through this… after all, the ceiling is there with YOUR permission anyways, as is ALL of your conditioning from culture, birth family, and those friends you’ve drawn to you.

Maybe you decided to go to college. Going back is an option, but maybe doesn’t feel like the real answer… so much is stirring inside you, like a baby lion reaching deep within for its first roar. You’re meant to claim whatever this roar is and needs to be. Pushing away from what ISN’T you can take this step sometimes. There may be mess, but you are so held in every moment and there is so much support coming at you from all sides, holding healing balms and salves… guiding you to lean into a deeper, bigger, more authentic YOU that works without bells and whistles and cavalcades. It is a YOU that calls subtly at first and then gets louder when you’re ready to hear it and feel it. It is a YOU that wants center stage at the center of your being but cannot take it without YOUR permission.

YOU are here because YOU are an epic, HUGE soul and that ceiling you’ve been surviving under is cracking… it’s your choice now, whether or not you want to take the road that is known, or the one less traveled by. Either way, know that there is no wrong or right, only choice, and that every single breath you take is just as sacred as the first and the last. You have decisions at your fingertips and magic in your palms. The world needs you and you need you, to step into the calling to be a new sort of King and Queen – completely sovereign in your own self, leading others into the heart territory you too long to go in, feeling how what you really, deeply, actually feel is what is meant to guide you and others into new places and aspects of space and “time” yet undiscovered or unremembered. You are being remembered by the universe just as you are remembering yourself. There is so much beyond that cap you’ve gone along with for this long. There is so much more love, respect and absolute wonder waiting for you, wanting you to find and feel it all, coming straight from within. It is a constant choice that requires no more than your renewed commitment to it in every moment – Awaken with the soul pull knocking at your heart-door, or go back to sleep…

Which are you choosing?

***

Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge and healer, writer, and poetess. Find out more about the SoulFullHeart Way of Life at www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com

 

From Sword to Chalice: The Journey of the King of Hearts

Published on by Raphael AwenLeave a comment

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By Raphael Awen

If there’s one thing about a King, in our minds at least, he does what he wants, when he wants.

He is anything but small.

In our deepest heart-picture of this King, he knows the greatest fulfillments possible because he is a benevolent King. He rules with the best interests of all in his Kingdom. And in this way, the heart of the King, extends to his Queen, which kindles a hearth, and this hearth-warmth extends beyond to fill the entire Kingdom. Wealth and bounty are the results.

This idealized picture is more than a picture. It is a way of being that anyone who wants to can tune into and play in and on the instrument of their lives.

And it’s not gender specific. There is nothing quite so powerful and beautiful as a woman who knows her own inner King. She knows the ‘he’ of her ‘she’.

This true King of hearts however didn’t end up here simply by being lazily born into something. No, life brought him a very individual and specific-to-him set of circumstances that he navigated from the bridge of his heart when there seemed like nothing to gain and everything to lose. In fact, he’s lost many things and many times, more than once excruciatingly so.

One of the first things he had to let go of by way of deep loss was the fight for what was right and the need to be right to instead allow his feeling heart to sort out what was truly right on a far deeper scale than a moral dictate. In this way, great internal conflicts had to be faced and felt, navigated and negotiated to arrive here at peace with self. His outer kingdom is only and ever a reflection of the pursuit of his own inner kingdom. His entitlements are really his ‘in’-titlements. He’s found all he’s found through his own heart. No one had to be made any less for him to know his more. And no one or no thing can take away what he’s possessed.

The heart of the King is a place of rest now from fighting for anything where peace now reigns, and all subjects in his kingdom can feel an unmistakable emanation of that peace. The sword has been replaced by the chalice.

All of us, male and female, can know this inner King state. Arriving here is a way of being and is the result of a desired and decreed journey of the heart that you choose yourself, for you and by you. After all, you are the sovereign of your own heart and your inner Kingdom and your inner Queendom extend to all you know, and beyond to those you don’t yet know. This outer reflection of others matching the inner reflection of the discovery and peace that now exists between all parts of yourself…

And somehow, in this magical YOUniverse, there is no shortage of space for everyone’s Kingdom. The presence of yours is not to the detriment of mine. You having all you want and need and desire, no matter how large and grand, is not at my expense in any way. In fact, the opposite is true in this infinitely abundant reality. Abundance flows from this Kings heart. There’s actually way more than can ever be needed or used. When I feel your real and true abundance, your heart bounty…it triggers my own, more and more.

Our challenge has gone from not having to having. What in the world will you do with all this? Your task has now changed from seeking what you want and need to finding a place to share your bounty.

Who could have imagined when you set out in this journey, feeling so pressed by what felt missing, that this would be your ending? How could such unrest and an urge to fight lead to such peace and rest? The timelines have merged. The fight has collapsed into love.

You found you. You let in you. It was no small undertaking, but my god, was it ever worth the entire journey…

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Please visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information and inspiration.

Mourning Dawns: The Gift Of Letting Go

Published on by Gabriel HeartmanLeave a comment

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by Gabriel Heartman

You have been made Aware.  You SEE and FEEL how life is so much more than what you have been conditioned to see and protected to feel.  You cannot be made unaware.  You can choose to ignore, but it is always there.  You may not have anyone to talk to about it, or, as much as they want to, they just can’t understand.  You continue to learn more, to understand more, to feel more.  The Light presses upon what is no longer serving this new, yet stillborn, YOU.  It can be okay at times.  Just letting it unfold in its due course.  Other times it can be painful as hell.  For some it can be existential and down right scary.  What is it that can help this uncertainty?  

Going into the geography of your heart may find you are at the end of a line….a timeline.  An old way of being able to pull it all together to get through each day.  There may be a moment when you finally realize the two worlds…just…don’t…jive.  These could be relationships to people, things, behaviors, and thought patterns.  Whatever it is that is not aligning with your Highest Desire and Inner Knowing.  There is a rub between what you feel needs to be done to continue growing and how a part of you feels about that.

This can be a difficult process and the heart of what it means to live in 4D consciousness.  There is a bitter-sweet feeling about it.  There are bridges to burn, ropes to let go of, and chords to cut.  In SoulFullHeart this is held as a sacred and negotiated process in compassionate concert with a part of you being held in heart space by this arising New You and the open heart of another who has been down that road.  There are ebbs and flows.  Baby steps and great leaps.  All in the timing set by you, your Higher Self, and the parts of you so invested.  The more emotional energy invested the more negotiation needed.  

When the time eventually arises that a choice needs to be made for your greatest good, the space both before and after is big.  It is a time to take stock of all that the relationship has meant to you, whether it be a romantic partner, a family member, a friend, a suffering loop, a drug, a food, or anything else under the sun that holds this energy.  It is a time to feel what was learned, and what will be lost.  This is the Mourning Time.  This time has been held with much grace and honor across cultures.  It is a phase in which you fully enter the pain, remorse, or any other feeling that comes up in order to fully exit.  It is not a one day deal in many cases.  The mourning is a process just like the one getting to it.  But the more the mourning is inhabited, not with suffering, the more the relationship can be honored and made sacred.  

This is a time of reflection, feeling, music, writing, sleeping, crying, laughing, remembering, and a plethora of other actions that arise to honor the space.  All of it is important and beautiful.  The amount of reverence given to this period the more reverence is given to what is to come.  The rain washes away the smoke and soot of the fire to reveal the dawn of a new day. The air is fresher and the possibilities are endless.  That is the gift on the other side.  But it is one of great price to these parts of us who have held on for so long and for good reason.  These continue to happen throughout the journey in our ascension, and the more we go into them the less they will occur as we keep the spiral going IN and UP.  

I honor and admire all of us that have been through this, are going through it, and are approaching it.  This time can be the most memorable of all as markers into your New You.  It is so incredible to be able to go through it with others that have been there and feel the true courage it took to make these challenging choices.  I hope to be a witness to them in any way possible.  It is the magic of death and rebirth that fuels the propellers of Life.

Gabriel Heartman is a teacher, facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  You can learn more about him at www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com

 

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The Energy in motion of our E-motion-all Body

Published on by Raphael AwenLeave a comment
By Raphael Awen
emotionalenergy

Until we surrender to our feelings, we are stuck in a stasis.

It has been said that our emotions are our e-motions, or our ‘energy in motion’. If life is anything, on whatever level you wish to look at it, be it physical, spiritual, metaphysical, micro, macro,….all of it is energy in motion.

And what you are feeling right now is energy moving through the energy-in-motion that YOU are. You are reading this seeking something. That is desire, want, seeking, moving through you. E-motive-ly. This is your motive for being.

People have long advised and devised multitudinous ways to overcome our feelings, reprogram our feelings, numb our feelings, but what we have failed to see in every one of these proposed solutions to our feelings is that the solution is proposing another feeling overlay to the one deemed unwanted.

We’re left with a inner war of feelings where one part of us in our psyche seeks to maintain dominance and control over another part of ourselves. This controlling part is then essentially running our lives, living our life as us. And gratefully so, some ‘one’ needs to look after life, until a new arising authentic us can show up to the relief of all involved.

Why we’ve worked so hard collectively to suppress and demonize (in many cases literally) our feelings is up for ongoing discovery, but for me, what feels so apparent is that it has been a way and a strategy for us to regulate the pace of our growth to what for most is a snail’s pace, or even a reverse direction, born out of the very real fear of our own bigness. Our feelings are the portal to our own greatness and the doorway out of our stasis into the infinity of love that we actually are.

Am I saying that feelings of depression or anxiety or rage are this portal to more? What about something so debilitating as shame, or the related inner critic? Are these emotions moving through me somehow a portal to my deeper essence?

‘Why,’ you may say, ‘I’ve always perceived these dark emotions as the barrier to my arising, not any portal to my ongoing awakening.’

I so get that. I too lived in that domain most of my life. What I want to offer you and offer you deeply is a ‘what if?’ question to feel and see where it takes you.

Here goes:

‘What if what you’ve related to as your negative emotions are actually the portal to more and more of your authentic-self arising to lead and flow in life?’

This what-if question (and its quest) could go on and on, worded in so many ways, but you get and feel the tone of it. I know you do…I can feel you do, or these words wouldn’t be holding you right now.

Wow, if this question is pointing you where I think it is, then there is no such thing as a negative (negating) emotion. There is only invitation into what is, to more of the all that you are, that is awaiting you. Why would any one of us be okay with leaving a part of us behind!?

Of course, I so get and feel the resistance we’ve all worked so hard at to keep our emotional worlds from infecting our self image togetherness. We, men more so, but women too, have relegated the emotional body to the insubstantial, to the meaningless, to the powerless, when in actuality, it is the essence of what we are. And we don’t get to embrace our essence any other way, but by going inward to all that we are, getting to know and feel who stands at the door of our hearts that we previously feared, but now open out to in genuine curiosity and love.

Now we finally cease demanding that some one else takes care of us in the multitude of ways we can do just that bass in a medicative relationship to all of life, and we begin instead taking care of ourselves in an ever deepening way beyond what we’ve ever known or imagined.

In SoulFullHeart, we take seriously each arising part of us and get to know and feel them intimately without judgment toward their charge and strategies, but instead open out to feeling why they are the way they are, and why they feel what they do, with all the time and process needed, with tears of gratitude for all they held in our absence.

My truth is that only as this kind of rigorous self-differentiation process, recognizing the emotional body, grounded in our everyday life and relationships unfolds for us, can we genuinely trust that our draw to spiritual practices are not simply another drug of medication to numb and keep unfelt emotional pain at bay.

If we have not embraced the emotional body, our seeking of Ascension or ‘raising our frequency’ becomes very suspect as simply a way to transcend our essence as a human being.

That may work for a part of you, but is it enough for you?

How much richer and fuller could your Ascension awakening be if no part of you gets left behind, allowing all of your energy in motion to fully flow into the infinite magic and wonder of life?

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Please visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, retreats, writings, and more.

INside Starts The “Day”

Published on by Kasha RosaLeave a comment

by Kalayna Colibri

ying yang beach

THIS is the Yin-in time

before the penetrative sun

blazes high and hot

giving heat and depth to activations

of all who keep from blocking it

out.
 

This is the “time”,

the phase of a “day”,

when waves are gentler along the beach.

As we rise from sleep

We feel our first rumblings

of a day blessed

and starting from withIN.
 

How will we choose

to begin our inner “day”

“today”?
 

Sand love, ocean love, pigeon love,

SELF love…

ALL surrounding as I enfold myself

in me and in Gaia.

BEing in quiet…

except for the writhing and steady ocean waves

(the Yang needs to be here somehow

and so does the more penetrating aspect of Yin).
 

Words float in

on the wings of fluttering feelings.

An opening out of heart

after a few “days”

of cave-IN process,

BEing and FEELing some buried-ness

inside.

Providing a Yin nest for thrashings

wailings

tiring, running-out-of-ground

life strategies,

old, beating, relationship to self

that must be burned away now

to let in the balm

that was always waiting

with soft, warm blankets

and silk pillows.
 

I feel MY love.

I feel HER love

and HIS…

and I dream of a “his” love

that’s on its way

as he continues to find love

in himself

and me

in myself.
 

We wake up every “morning”

yet we wake throughout each “day” too…

in triggers

joys

ups, downs, flatness, no-thing-ness…

sleepiness, weariness, nappy-ness,

LOVE-ness…

ALL BEing-ness!
 

Invitation and love and ness

and THRIVAL beyond SURVIVAL,

sharing intimacy THROUGH self

WITH others.

No victims,

only powerful choices

with outcomes

and INcomes…

welcome and not

yet always, ALL ways

frought

with all we need

to enter a new birth

of renewed life

and rediscovered

recovered

LOVE! ❤
 

***

Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge and healer, writer, and poetess. Find out more about the SoulFullHeart Way of Life at www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com

Ready to Launch

Published on by Gabriel HeartmanLeave a comment

 

20

 

Inside the heart lie the propellers of our greatest flight.  They are covered over by the weight of our deepest wounds and fears of our darkest places.  They remain scattered among the soil of our emotional terrain.  If we truly wish to bring our most prized possession, our humanity, with us on this next phase of emergence, we will need to go the places that anchor this incredible power and potential.  

Like a spring that has been compressed, we hold our own version of kinetic energy.  Stored in our emotional body, cells, and DNA.  For men, I feel many of us are in conflict with that energy.  What does that power actually look and feel like outside the unhealed domain of fear and control?  The collective shadow of that control that we share and are not totally conscious of at its roots.  We are not responsible for moving that individually but it does exist inside of us to whatever degree it does.  What rage still resides inside of our hearts that has yet to be tapped into and loved with compassion and understanding?  

Without going in and seeking to feel the answers to these questions there is something of our most impassioned essence that leaves us in a state of stillbirth.  We can try some end run around this by focusing on mental pursuits or spiritual bypassing, but the heart will always bring us back to itself.  That is a definitive statement but it just feels true to me.  It has been true for me.  No matter where you go, there you ARE.

As men, we have this inherent need for quest and journey.  For creation and manifestation.  For exploration and expression.  The fire in the hearth of the feminine.  It aches to launch out into the cosmos of the soul with reverence and also abandon.  It will apologize later if it needs to.  There is a wildness that doesn´t follow the rules and seeks to tear them down.  To make bold claims and empowered choices.  The masculine is on a path of fully embodying the sacred pyre and seeking union with its feminine counterpart.  More than twins.  Two separate yet catalytic co-creators.  

This journey begins in the heart.  Lifting and loving those anchors off the propellers so the heart can fly WITH the soul with the body as its vehicle.  It is having a relationship with this aspects of ourselves that mitigates this endeavour of the arising wonder of the sacred masculine.  Who are we in our most enlightened state as we lighten the anchors inside?  I am on this path inside myself daily through the SoulFullHeart Way of Life as the portal to my highest expression.  It has served much growth inside me and desire to serve that to others who are feeling the swirls inside them as well.  The feeling of uncertainty or desire for more heart-centered conversation and expression.  
The men´s group call is a container for Raphael Awen and I, to lead a meditation and discussion into our masculine hearts, our connection to the cosmos, and our desire for love and romance with the queens of our feminine fancy.  It aims to be a great launching pad for our growing desire for community and brotherhood of heart. Both of us so look forward to going on this journey with you.

http://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/events

Gabriel Heartman is a teacher, facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  You can learn more about him at www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com

As You Awaken, How Is Your Heart?

Published on by Jelelle AwenLeave a comment

By Jelelle Awen

leap-and-trust-your-heart

As you fly to the heavens, how is your heart?

You can fly to the heavens and BE with angels. You can BEcome more of the transcendent BEing that you ARE. You have been more of this substance of light and AIR then you have been anything else. You have been more of the stars, then of Gaia and a human body. You have been more soul than fleshy substance even if you feel that you have many lifetimes on Earth, what you might call ‘past lives’ although they are in the NOW…

Yet….As you go on your quest to the stars, how is your heart?

Your heart reflects your capacity to FEEL, to CARE, and to LOVE….the BEST of what makes you human. Your heart also reflects your emotional body and your pain body, your 3D body…..the place where the energies are stored of what you have experienced and felt as a human in this 3D reality and what still needs to be digested. You can BEcome more and more transcendent, yet, your emotional body has pain and congestion and it will anchor you to lower frequencies. Its unhealed places will draw situations to repeat out suffering patterns for you to see and feel. Your soul frequencies, your transcendent nature, can be used by aspects of you that don’t want to feel, that want to bypass heart healing, that want only light and no dark or shadow exploration.

As you awaken your soul, how is your heart?

As your emotional pain body heals, the anchorings lighten up, the aspects of you that guard, that hold the suffering frequencies, that are emotionally reactive in a charged way, that resist letting in love….these aspects transform into their higher frequencies, and eventually integrate into your sacred human/higher self embodiment. Your soul awakening can then ground into Gaia and into your healing and healthy human heart. And you heart vibrates at a higher frequency of health, it becomes more connected to the Christ Consciousness heart, the Mother Mary Consciousness heart, the cosmic heart.

As you become more of your cosmic BEing, how is your heart?

You are meant to take your heart WITH you on the journey of remembering yourself as a galactic BEing. It is your healing heart that brings in frequencies of vulnerability, compassion, reverence, humility, grace, surrender, relationality, connection, and healthy expression of femininity and masculinity. It is your healing heart that draws nourishing intimacies to you and relationships that water with love both your heart AND your soul. It is your healing heart that compels you to serve love as your highest purpose.

How is your heart? What does it REALLY want and need to experience and have felt in order to let in and BEcome MORE and MORE of the infinite love that you ARE?

Jelelle Awen is an emoto-spiritual teacher, sacred feminine facilitator, soul scribe, wayshower, multidimensional bridge, lover of love and co-creator and teacher of SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. She is author of  Keep Waking Up! Awakening Journeys To Avalon And Beyond and an upcoming book, Sacred Human, Arising Wonder. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions with her, group calls, videos, community, etc.