In The Humble Service Of Love, We Serve Ourselves Too

by Kalayna Colibri

Blonde Girl Flying with Butterflies

As I hold space for others, so I hold space for myself.

As the journey unfolds with a facilitant and within my relationship with this facilitant, I feel more ‘me’ that arises and surprises too. I feel teachings escape my lips, coming from a place higher than where it has felt that maybe my head and heart have been in recent hours, minutes or days. I feel offerings full of love that move within me, sometimes bringing me to tears as I feel my beloved facilitant’s tears too. Together we feel the magic of the moment, of the movement stirred within her, that is somehow stirring within me too. I feel her, I feel me, I feel how we are connected to each other, yet also to something bigger, something ‘ahead’ yet not ‘above’ us, that dances in collaboration with our hearts and souls in this sacred space we call ‘SoulFullHeart sessions’.

We pilgrim to this place, this Mecca within and held too in community group spaces together, dining or checking in or both. We journey here through the heart, with the mind, engaging all facets, all aspects, all parts of our being. We bring all we are to the table, we work to build this altar of inner ‘god/goddess’ worship through many tears, many words written down, many feelings deeply felt. All awakenings along the way are markers, big or small, of where we have gone and where we are continuing to go. All birth canals are just that… deep breathing that allows for contractions within our being, bringing about new meanings, new places to see and feel the world from, new ways to see and feel ourselves and the magic of our inner worlds. The shadows have magic in them too. They help to show the light, they illuminate where the love still needs and wants to go, they bring in more of what we need to feel MORE loved, MORE ‘up’.

I am always humbled by what comes when I hold session space with another who is engaged in this work. I am humbled by their journey that is unfolding, unearthing before me, within them, in my presence, in the presence of the Divine, of curious Star Beings, of Archangels, of Metasoul Aspects, of as-yet undiscovered parts who are waiting in the wings for their moment to hold center stage in this healing place of inner worship and love. Wow. Nothing beats this… nothing compares to all that is learned through this. Here there is no kNOwing, only feeling. Sometimes pure feeling, without words. Pure spaces of really letting in love, sometimes for the first time, or what can truly feel like the first time.

I keep learning as my facilitants learn, about themselves, about the world, about spirituality, about what it means to be human, but most of all, what it means to be THEM. They keep leaning as I do, into me, into my experience that has placed me ‘ahead’ of them for this phase at least, into the Divine, into an arising heart that is growing and healing and expanding inside of them and inside of me too.

I am blessed to be in this place, holding this space with others walking and feeling this out. I am blessed to share it as a process for me too, just as it is a process for them. The crucible of leading, of teaching, of serving love, is a deep calling that flows inward and outward, both, like the most sacred river you will ever feel, ever find, ever kneel before and drink from with the most reverence you have ever felt in your life. I have the honour of serving love, of feeling more of the love that I am, and getting a front row seat to witness that unfold inside of another.

For me, this is what it means to serve love in this phase of my life. To wear my humble robes of experience, to wade through the self-doubts that surface from parts and Metasoul aspects of me that actually need this crucible in order to heal. Incredible. Divine. Sacred. I am in love… and more and more, I feel like I AM love.

Another corridor awaits and at each turn there is more.

And here we go, into it ALL, with it all, loving it all, and then some. ❤

***

Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

The Multi-Dimensional Dance Of Soul And Heart Maturation

by Kalayna Colibri

flying heart

It’s an odd dance for me today and lately, of feeling both here and not here, both overwhelmed and as if I am in abundant joy to the point where I want to yell in some sort of orgasmic ecstasy… this push-pull sensation between the unknown and the known. The sort of acquaintance I have had deep in my soul with being a ‘young adult’ and taken care of by many though there was always an ache to be independent of this too. It’s a polarization of wanting to mature, to have my heart grow and open and beacon OUT in the service of love and a tug on the inside that still wants to stay small, stay ‘young’, find a mom and maybe a dad too to take care of all of my major needs. At times this ‘parent’ on the outside has been drawn through a boyfriend or a best friend. Sometimes it has pulled on aspects of my beloveds too, needing challenges that would come from a parent shaping their child, wanting to be guided in all choices instead of seeking the guidance within and getting messy when necessary. I think some of the more chaotic phases of my life have come as a result of this polarization, this feeling of both wanting to BE so much more of who I AM and am becoming, and yet being content on some level to find my smallness again too through circumstances and relationships and even jobs as well.

I’ve had plenty of ‘adulthood’ templates cross my path. Many of which parts of me have rebelled against, wanting to find their own way. At times it has been a relief to feel that someone has been wherever I am at a given moment before and can offer me wisdom from the place of having walked through it. And yet, at other times, the relief has not come as then these moments seem to ‘rob’ a part of me of being able to experience it all on my/her own too. To prove that maybe there IS another way that it can all turn out… inevitably, we all have to walk out our own circumstances in a way that fits with our soul and heart maturity level. This is supposed to shape our destinies in different ways than maybe we’ve ever seen or noticed before. This is daunting and empowering, both.

Some of this is the ‘Indigo dilemma’ it feels like, or at least this is what I feel to call it in the moment. It’s this inner drive to change pretty much everything about how the world works or has worked until now. It often comes out as a desire to set fire to systems and sometimes even leaders themselves… maybe not literally, but I can definitely own that in my shadow there have been moments of wanting to at least spit fireballs at leaders through a few well-chosen words. Even as I write and digest this, I can feel different Metasoul aspects of mine that live in different dimensions and eras but have been a part of some major moments in the world’s history, including wars and also the co-founding of different dimensional mystery schools such as Avalon or at least its early stages… at any rate, this spitfire way of approaching what’s happening and has happened globally feels like it actually comes from a much deeper core wound inside of my Metasoul that I and I’m sure many other Indigos are actually working at this very moment. It’s this feeling of, ‘I have to grow up (‘ascend’) HERE? In THIS place?? Where no one really listens to each other, let alone what I have to say?’ It has a bearing on our self-worth, a ring to it that hurts to feel as it hits deeper and deeper. We are feeling collective pain and angst and also our own. All souls everywhere, or at least those awakening now, have seen, felt,  experienced much through their own Metasoul experiences, let alone this life (which can be a loaded cannon for many too, in and of itself). To feel OUTraged is actually quite easy, but to bring it back inward and feel what’s going on at deeper levels of our being, THAT is the challenging part…

I feel that some of this global maturation process is about embracing our multi-dimensionality and our parts too. It is about really looking at ourselves, even and especially when tempted to blame someone or something on the outside of us. Transformation is an inside job, really. It is a course of owning that we aren’t quite ‘there’ yet in terms of being completely healed, feeling humbled enough to drop the self-righteousness and LOOK at what still needs the waters of self-love to be nourished and keep on growing up and opening out. I do feel this up and down feeling of being at times in a rapidly moving elevator heading one direction or another yet mostly UPward, is a necessary crucible for embracing deeper abundance and love. There is a pending expiration date on our smallness, a time when the toddler clothes or teen clothes just don’t fit anymore… it’s a time to keep moving into the more ‘adult’ skins that may feel as if they hang loosely for a while until they are fully grown into my our purifying and growing sacred human hearts. I’m still not quite sure what it means to truly ‘adult’ in this world, in an authentic way for my ‘age’. Yet more and more I can feel what it is not or does not feel to be at least for me and the stage I am at in my process and growth.

Maybe somehow, someday, it just all clicks into place. Maybe it never really does, or at least not for long. I’m okay with the unfolding mystery of that. I’m okay with even feeling this tension of the unknown, as I so trust there is another side to it AND I feel how the Divine doesn’t really know either. I feel in this with you too, you taking this into your own heart and soul, feeling it for yourself perhaps. We are creating all of what we want more of in every moment we choose to do so and in that, we are already inhabiting more and more of who we are truly meant to be and become too!

 

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Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

 

 

 

 

Lion’s Gate: The ‘Roar’ Of Your Intention Comes Alive Now

by Kalayna Colibri

lionsgate8-8

 

When you can set your intention like a beacon love for yourself, and hold that it IS possible though for parts of you it may feel impossible, this is what brings about the changes that you are asking for and holding out for. It is not an accident, that conversation you’re having with another about what you most want deep inside of you. It is a care-filled conjuring of what is right for you, what needs to come to and through you next…

For me, it is about embodying adulthood in a deeper way than I have been able to before, though I have technically been an ‘adult’ for many years now. It is not age that matures you or offers you wisdom, it is your willingness to go inward, to find and feel your heart even when it is in shadows and seems covered in infinite brambles and sharp vines. Your protector has worked hard to keep parts of you in a sort of stasis, to keep you in a level of heart-immaturity and with good reason too… how can a heart, like a beautiful, tropical fruit or flower, ripen or open in conditions where it isn’t being nourished?

I feel like the seed of my truest heart was planted many years ago and transplanted over different phases of seeking and healing. Finding the SoulFullHeart soil has helped me in countless ways, to bring my soul and gifts to fruition and deep awakening. It does feel like this Lion’s Gate portal opening today and all month, is here to help us plant and cultivate, reaping rewards while feeling ourselves and our needs on all levels. It is a maturation process that is ultimately about our Ascension and is also about reconciling who we have been, who we are now and who we most want to be.

Today feels like it could be a day where some feel the need for an outbound ROAR! that comes up from the bowels of everything they’ve long held and no longer wish to. It is the ROAR! of an inner protector that is DONE or wants to be done, it is the ROAR! of your precious inner teenager who has held so many years of rebellion or perhaps an avoidance of rebellion in order to conform and find safety or find ways to buck the system. It is the ROAR! of a deeper awakening on the inside that gets to come outward, finally.

Today also feels like for some it will be a day of a quiet roar inside, of a sweeter inner collapse that means parts of you are ready to be stiller now, to let you in more now, to lay on the soft grass of healing, snuggling with the rest of the inner lions in your Pride. This is the softer ‘roar’ of arrival into a higher place where the battles are done and the much needed rest time can happen… this is the roar of your long awaited healing and maturation process, where you can play more and feel more of your belovedness, though sometimes the roar of boundary setting with others or even with parts of you may still need to happen from this place.

No matter what the blessed ‘roar’ of inner change you are embodying today, it is ALL sacred, and you ARE arriving at a new place in yourself and in your life. Your intentions are ringing clearer and your drive to continue healing and loving is what is setting your sails now for new horizons of self and connection with others.

LOVE to you on this glorioUS day… ❤

***

Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

A ReLOVEution To End Inner Violence And Violence-Based Choices

by Kalayna Colibri

re-love-ution

“These violent delights have violent ends  

And in their triumph die”

– Romeo and Juliet, ActII, Scene VI

 

Our suffering so often comes from violent choices.

Violence is chosen when parts of us decide to bury themselves, to bury their pain, covering it up, numbing it out, putting makeup on it, pretending it either doesn’t exist, or in some cases hiding it in plain sight through sabotage of this relationship or that job or through self-harm in the form of addiction of any kind.

Violence is chosen when parts of us decide to see the world as personally oppressive, racking up reason after reason, building a case for their victimhood, making it inevitable that an intense push-away always becomes necessary and the world feels like ‘us’ against ‘them’. As we assuage the battles within, there ARE times sometimes when we receive violence and abuse or aggression from others and DO need to advocate, to turn away, to all-out walk away from what needs to collapse for the sake of our self-worth and also at times our survival. Sometimes this has a violent playout and fallout. If this situation lasts, there is likely some deeper violence still happening within, because this relationship on the outside represents a battle raging on the inside. It is a climate that your parts have gotten used to… and have not learned how to be or even imagined how to be anything different towards each other.

Violence is chosen when parts of us hold rigidly onto ways of seeing and feeling others. In some cases, parts don’t want to feel others’ perspectives, or, would prefer to feign compassion rather than be in the process that allows them to feel genuine compassion for the first time. This serves as a numbing of the self. It is a focus on keeping the victim inside alive and pushing away the budding King or Queen of heart and soul. It is also violent when we try to press our point of view on another who isn’t ready or doesn’t want to take it in. It is violent too, to use aggressive energy behind our words and point of view. These examples are another way to become numb to the needs of others and the ways in which they need to walk out what they are walking out, without name-calling or unfair readouts. This is a hard thing to avoid doing when we have so much tension inside from us to us and part to part… this does move over time though and is so important to keep feeling as it comes up.

Violence is chosen by choosing to eat foods that are violent to the planet and/or to our bodies. I don’t offer this as a piece to feel shame over, but rather something to just feel into. It does feel important to let this in and to make new choices, feeling the parts of you that have resistance to this along the way, so that they can come with you and not feel as if THEY are experiencing violence against THEM, as this dynamic can happen too…

Violence and revenge in different forms have become a strong underpinning in our cultures worldwide. It is a way to see war as an option, protests as the only means of revolution, and aggressive, ambitious efforts the only way to be ‘successful’.

A reLOVEution can be and IS so different than this… than even those subtle twinges of wanting to fight fire with fire in some way. There is a way that we can stand up for ourselves through boundaries and vulnerability that doesn’t need to result in withholding love in any way. We can find a way to teach ourselves new ways of being in life and in LOVE without committing any sort of violence, suppression or oppression inside.

This is as much an ongoing process for me as it likely is for you too. I have had many years inside of a process of peeling back the layers of inner violence and battles and even recently have felt a Metasoul aspect that still lives in the era of Women’s Suffrage in the UK. Really intense timeline, that one. Talk about fighting fire with fire! She and I have been able to feel that there IS an alternative to these violent means of ‘fighting’… feeling how bringing vulnerability is actually the key to deep inner and outer change. She is still being convinced of the truth of this, as she understandably lives in an intense time and hasn’t really seen this in action, but she is trying and that is enough for me to feel something MORE wanting to come and be inside of me and thus from me to others too. I actually feel her helping me write this piece today… it’s helping her digest her reality and new possibilities that are arising for her and for others.

A new, violence-less horizon is calling, wanting to help us end our personal and collective suffering… how deeply you are able to heed this call is a very personal choice and it feels like any healing of this on any level of your being is a fantastic start!

LOVE to you, fellow reLOVEutionary!

***

Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Energies Invite Us Into A New Kind Of ‘Strength’ From Within

by Kalayna Colibri

Alessandro Sanna

Painting by Alessandro Sanna

Our self-doubts run deep within a river of rejection fears and wounds. This river rises more and more as these energies swirling around us come in to shake it up, bring it up, flush it out. Having days that feel like everything inside of you is against you is part of this process… there are parts of you that want you to feel them, finally, in their turmoil. They want to be loved in spite of their spiky armor and seen for more than just the pain they hold. They want you to show up for them, to show them that they have worth so that in your very being, you can feel this worth deeply, inhabit it, live by it, and never compromise it again. So much inside of you wants and aches for your advocacy from you to you, to stop the madness for each part of you and Metasoul aspect too.

The image of the ‘Heart Warrior’ is another superhero that parts of you want to lean into, yet it too is an archetype of invulnerability that pushes away love. Yes, there is a ‘hero’ inside of you that shows up somehow to feel YOU for the first time in the form of these precious parts of your being, heart, and soul, and yet the famed ferocity is for naught. It is only a picture of what is needed to cut through the din within, but not the sword of love. Love needs no sword. Love comes in anyway, sneaks under your fence posts, doesn’t need to shield itself and certainly doesn’t need a weapon. Love will win the wrestling match, even though parts of you try to prolong it for years, decades, centuries on end, pushing aside its mirrors, following only the habitual flow back into patterns of old that have yet to bring you the joy and fulfillment you’ve wanted.

There wouldn’t be a way to feel all there is to feel without a strengthening happening within – an energy that cannot be broken by any outside force and eventually no inside one either. It is a way to feel that all you’re feeling does have purpose and that the gauntlet you’re walking out is the training ground you need. This is a strong metaphor, yes, because this is what it feels like to truly be in process in these moments where so much is surfacing. It feels as tough as it is, as it has had to be. Parts of you have built walls to keep the flood waters of feeling out, yet here they are blowing apart your inner dams and bringing you to a new surface above it all where none of it is transcended, yet held, owned, taken responsibility for, and healed over different phases of life.

We are not only being cleared out by Ascension energies, but we are being strengthened, toned, given new legs to stand on too. What is moving needs to be replaced, not only by crystalline cells but also by a new stance, a brand new way of standing with a strength that doesn’t need battles to prove itself, only a continual advocacy for and with love. It’s an ongoing invitation to no longer seek and find reasons to go to war,  yet to feel and love the parts of you that want to and have become very good at it over the years.

It’s time to flow into the inner rivers of pain and wounding, to find yourself on a new shore, renewed and more alive than ever before. To let it all surface takes more strength than burying it and you can so trust that it’s all leading you somewhere safer, LOVElier, better.

 

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Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Acknowledging, Feeling, Honouring And Healing Our Narcissism To Feel Real Compassion

by Kalayna Colibri

Look-Within

There are phases of very necessary self-focus. It’s good to dedicate a lot of time to personal process that has to do with YOU as your number one priority. Some of us don’t do this enough, some of us do it too much, and the balance of giving and taking is somehow very challenging to find and live into. Eventually, these phases of needing to go inward have a healthy sense of self-focus that has more of a balance of where the focus goes and comes from a growing emotional and spiritual maturity as we heal and allow in mirrors that help us map out where to go next. This takes a dedication though and the process of it all has not been shown to most of us before, so there is a lot to discover and rediscover as we go, allowing ourselves to get messy and sometimes trip along the way as the best way to learn.

Within our birth families, many of us have been the ‘black sheep’. Parts of us never felt understood and found ways to rebel. This took an enormous amount of self-care and focus, the best parts of us could conjure at the time, and necessarily so – these self-made nests of bedrooms and cozy family basements became our stages for self-exploration. We needed our forays into writing, artistic explorations, fantasy worlds, and eventually spiritual seeking and finding. We needed these phases of pushing away from the collective, from birth family, maybe even from peers and the church and/or education systems, we were wrapped up in. Parts of us started to refuse to go deeper into it… or decided to go in as deeply as possible, following along with another flavour of rebellion that may have meant following the rules only to one day snap and burn it all away. This took whatever ounces of love we could muster and find in our inner and outer worlds, drawing friendships and romances that were (and are), in the end, reflections of how we ultimately felt (and feel) about ourselves.

In order to push away from what we could feel was very much NOT us, or not what parts of us wanted to be, we had to encase ourselves in some degree of HEALTHY narcissism. This encasement may even have stretched well into our adult years, or, we had parts of us that decided to suddenly flip a switch and go far into the other direction, feeling ourselves as deep empaths that can quite powerfully feel others. Even in this though, is a layer of narcissism. There is a layer here of blaming ‘other’ for how and what you feel. There is a fixation on how ‘you’ are being affected by something or someone or somewhere, without truly feeling how and why others may be affected and that you may or may not have a part to play in this too.

Feeling and realizing this shatters our mirrors held up by our own hand, that only show us our self-made goodness, yet not the deeper, more compassionate goodness within that has true innocence and purity of intention. Our narcissism in our years of needing to rebel, needing to find an ‘us’ that could hold life, needing to navigate a spiritual path that we hope will open out to serving others, has been mostly about us and not actually about serving the world or the people in it. This is HARD to look at and feel. This is probably one of the toughest reflections of ourselves and how we’ve operated in this world to take in. True compassion, in my experience, can’t really come unless we are willing to see this piece inside of our shadows. Feeling all of this also frees us from our victimhood that again parts of us have rightfully needed to hold onto… We cannot truly find our power within unless we are willing to go here.

In terms of our Ascension, it could be that this is one of the biggest pieces for us to look at and heal with deep sobriety and dedication. If there is no interest in doing so, there is something to look at with that too, as it’s natural for our deep knowledge of our goodness to not want to have to go here, yet our ‘goodness’ can be a story that parts of us tell, meanwhile they don’t deeply feel they ARE good, until they have been able to feel the reasons why this is… the reasons why they hold this wounding. There is so much unworthiness within that this process brings us to. There are many layers here and each one brings us closer and closer to our higher hearts, our genuine Christ Consciousness, where we can and do shed tears for others, for the world, and then can bring it back inward in a healthy way too, to digest it all in authentic Divine connection and love, and in genuine soul and heart connection with others too.

Being real about not being able to feel or even care for others in a given moment, actually helps parts of us relax and can bring us almost immediately to a more compassionate place within. It also claims our responsibility and our desire to heal this block to serving and giving love. We have not had adequate modeling of how to truly be compassionate in this world. So much of it has been put on for the sake of self-image, it feels like. This has not been ‘bad’ for us though, we are just entering a phase of being invited deeper into it, to question it and ourselves more, and to really heal what we need to in order to be in LOVE in the truest sense. We already have all of the goodness inside of us that we need so as to truly feel and love this aspect of us that again has served us so well for so many years.

There is so much love on the other side of this mirror. So much love that wants to reach you, to flow to and through you. Love that wants to show itself in all of your relationships, in whatever ways it can. It is a love that is ever-purifying and incredibly deep, if only we can start to let it in and allow it to do its work. ❤

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Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

 

Expanding Beyond The Ceiling You’ve Known

by Kalayna Colibri

imagination (1)

Along this path of healing, we start realizing that there is something higher than the ceiling we’ve been used to… the feeling of who we are, the stories we’ve been, this starts to fade ever so slightly while we wait for more to come in and shake out the old, once rigid approaches to every aspect of life: love, relationships, money, work, time, nature, etc.

There’s a turn towards a new importance, a focus on something above and around what you’ve felt was your normal. Even the normal ups and downs of every day, where reactions to various people and situations are so common place you may not really notice them or question why they are there. This is not meant to be tricky or hard to do… this tracking arises as its meant to and we can choose to shift or stay where we are, yet that ceiling above us keeps wanting to rise and rise, nonetheless!

I feel for myself how I’m in this very process right now, where there is a desire to reach up higher, beyond what I’ve previously felt possible inside parts of me. It’s a desire to ascend with my entire being, my whole heart, my very insides joining in with my outsides. My closest relationships lead the way for me to feel and BEcome this more and more, as I’ve worked for this place of BEing with them as my personal growth deepens and expands, both… I can feel my leadership arising anew, looking and feeling much different than I ever thought or dreamed it would. In some ways it’s in its infancy and yet in other ways I’m already there.

Reaching out and up, touching the places above and beyond the immediate notions of who I am and who YOU are… there is much more to discover as the flowerbeds inside are tilled and shifted. The places of waiting are collapsing into places of new arrivals, new waves of immediate coming-ins, even while the goings-out are felt and at times mourned too. So much to let in and let go of too, making room for only MORE, not less. There is no “less”, now, though parts of you may still experience life this way. There isn’t less money, there is only room for MORE! There aren’t less relationships in our lives, there is just space for ones with MORE resonance and love!

The lighting up of our very BEings is happening at an exponential rate, a quickening pace, if we can continue opening up our petals to let more sunshine in. Today, this is my focus as I continue holding classes with my English students, hold a SoulFullHeart facilitant, hold my dog and her needs and hold myself and what I WANT and NEED in this upcoming and already ongoing chapter of newly accepted yumminess and possibilities… a day and yet a whole life too of response and moving UPward as each new moment dawns and each new experience beckons my heart to keep pressing forward into a more central place in my very full (and yet filling up!) life.

This invitation I feel inside is welling up to call to the beacons inside of everyone I have the chance to touch in some way… including any of you taking this in. We ARE called to more and more and still more than parts of us are ready to imagine possible, especially when they have been so used to suffering and feeling as if the ceiling above them is pressing downward (when it really wants to be moving upward). The next level of consciousness to climb up into is at your heart’s doorstep, calling you out to play, wanting you to join in with its chorus of feeling life as fun, alive and beyond your as yet dreamed dreams. Maybe you’ll move your ceiling upward today, just as I too am working towards. The connections there to self and other smell, feel and so seem worth it to reach for again and again, until the way becomes clear and the movements towards it become abundant and ultimately, unstoppable. ❤

 

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Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, writer, and poetess. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

 

Mate Ache, Self Ache: Finding The Sacred Union Overflow Inside

by Kalayna Colibri

love flow

As powerful light waves and ascension boosts cascade upon us, this seems to bring up so much ache at times (which some may be surprised by since it has been so covered over for so long) for a mate to share the experience with. There is a growing feeling inside me, of how my heart wants to dance in a picture of the bond I’m waiting for, looking for, aching for, baking for… working for inside myself. As this desire lights me up, I’m reminded to not leave a single stone un-turned, as anyone who pops up on my radar could be the soul and heart I’ve been waiting for.

It feels like sometimes we miss each other… like maybe we tend to walk right by, or “scroll” right by on the internet. We don’t realize that the person grabbing our attention right away may not actually be the one we’re deeply searching and preparing for. Physicality and geography can be big reasons why they evade our inner search engines, as parts of us keep looking for very specific criteria that often no human being could really live into. It doesn’t feel like this is about these criteria though, so much as about resisting relationship, messiness and the mirror it all wants to offer us for our next growth edges. There is so much to be learned on this path of mate desire and so many patterns that become illuminated, and every single bond that arises gives us the opportunity to see and feel ourselves that much deeper.

This is where the ache that we feel for an other to come in and be in a romantic bond with us can really be turned inward instead… which is often the harder mate to be with, for those of us who have parts that resist even that (as I’ve felt in myself during my own process)! Yet the way to be with ourselves is so the way we then can be with others. It’s actually a very powerful practice ground for relationships of all kinds, as we learn to feel ourselves more deeply and also feel more drawn to ourselves as we heal, enjoying time spent with our own hearts and souls. THIS is the overflow place, and the nest that needs the most clearing out and sprucing up in preparation for THE mate to come in… it is the process I embrace and have embraced for a long time now, and something I treasure that’s really blossoming inside me more and more these days. A sincere readiness is arising to let someone else in while I’m also continuing to let MYSELF in… and wow, is THAT ever a lot sometimes! Especially with personal growth continuing and along with that, some strong shifts in what it is I feel I most want in life.

The ache for self is a sincere ache, and one that may actually be more powerfully alive inside you than you now realize consciously. There are parts in there, longing for your love and attention and looking for it outside of you instead, reaching for an energy, a love, that you are meant to cultivate within… placing this need on the outside and asking a partner or friend to be this healing force for you can strain any relationship and can even cause underground resentment as the transaction ground runs out. I’ve been in several bonds that seemed to head in this direction and without enough me there to hold my own ground with my own parts, the ground of these relationships eventually collapsed. This happened in both directions, it feels like… I wasn’t holding myself and he wasn’t holding his. The ache for yourself can only really be answered by you. It is a sovereign, fertile ground for a stunning garden of self-love and reverence to grow and grow and GROW… and life and the relationships you have now WILL mirror this for you, wanting you to see it, for the benefit, first and foremost, of your own heart and soul growth and expansion that then gets to lead and be in intimacy with others AND a mate.

My own ache for myself is now being answered by an arising me that is consciously healing and stepping more and more into service of others. It is what will overflow to a mate soon, as he comes forward and steps into this healing path with me. It is what’s possible for all of us as we earnestly find our way into the caverns inside of us, shining lights in those long-forgotten crevices that still ask for our help.  It is an ache that is meant to be felt and quelled and satisfied as well as a power-filled first step into the oncoming stream of outer mateship possibilities that want to reach us and help this cultivated love flow onward, onward, onward…

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Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, writer, and poetess. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

 

 

 

Remembering Your Power To Choose Your Personal Healing Process

by Kalayna Colibri

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Your healing cannot ever really be forced upon you, it can only be chosen by a growing and expanding you… This choice comes both consciously and unconsciously, as we walk in and out of life situations and relationships, and this right of choosing our next steps is always present though at times it feels as if it may be hiding itself from us rather well.

Whenever we feel the press of a choice we’re making or have made, we’re feeling an opportunity to experience ourselves anew. From this place we can find a new clarity of our mission and purpose for being here. It can also help us discover higher consciousness and awareness… and it can bring us to a renewed sense of our power inside of ourselves when we decide to choose something different as our next step. Sometimes baking in unfavorable conditions is what leads us here and sometimes we find ways to wake ourselves up enough to take one more step forward, finding more and more clarity as we go (sometimes without fully realizing what we’re doing or why in the moment, yet the clarities unfold anyways!).

We can’t actually stop the momentum of our souls, try as we might… as I go on in my own life and serve others as well, I feel more and more how true it is that our souls know exactly what’s happening and where it’s leading. At times I get a strong sense that our souls already have an idea about where they want to take us, so the steps to getting there are all necessary and also in collaboration with this ready-made path. Our choices remain ours to own… and not a single one of them is or has been “wrong” so much as just another perfect expression of our power and how we feel our power in the moment.

Sometimes the ascension process feels like it is taken on by parts of us who actually aren’t ready for what it could really be asking of us. Becoming more fluid with responding to our arising emotional and physical changes and needs seems to be the real process as we go higher and experience life in much brighter ways. Maybe some of us would be best not to call it “ascension” for a while, as there can be something in the feeling tones of it that has some charge as we all navigate changes in ourselves, our relationships and our lives and our parts put pressure on themselves (and each other) to always get HIGHER. I feel there is an ongoing invitation for us to feel this process more PERSONally. Our souls are affected by cosmic movements, yes, and they are being affected for our growth on a PERSONal, and human level as an individual. We will and ARE dancing cosmically, as we can’t help but do that as part of the cosmos in its creativity, power, infinity, and utter beauty, yet we are also here as star-seeded humans too, encouraged to bring our humanity with us as we flow upward into a higher consciousness than we have ever known in this life… a path we can take WITH our souls and not just AS our souls…

Though it can be hard to feel it and even harder to let it in, there is a huge gift in being you… Even if you are moving through pain in the moment, there is a YOU that you have signed up to become more and more of, in line with your huge soul. You are navigating this in every moment and there are no wrong choices, though some choices may keep you feeling small along the way… but only long enough to bear you into a phase of embracing your bigness. When you have reached the end of your tether to shrinking in your life, you will so know it and feel it stirring, rumbling something deep within you. YOU are the earthquake parts of you have been wondering about and perhaps fearing and there is something so awesome about that very thing… because it means that you are so incredibly powerful and your choices are an expression of that…

There is so much to feel in each movement we make towards ourselves and each moment of feeling life blooming around and within us. We are here to keep it all flowing through every choice point, and flow on it does in every expression of our power and every new step we take towards inhabiting our bigness and our true love light shining from inside.

 

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Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, writer, and poetess. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.