The Walled Off War Within

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Follow on this well-worn path

The one you have known so well

The one that keeps you safe in the trenches of the battles that wage inside

There is a wall around this war-torn land that keeps it all intact

The players that play their role so well

To keep the whole gig going

But it is wearing thin this hallowed shield of your deepest truths and pains

It is seeing the tide rise where love has constantly laid its eyes upon

Your most needed, starved, and hidden children

The dam holds tight as it clings to the only duty it has had

To prevent the flood of our long held stories with tattered pages in tact

There is a time where we feel the moment has come to let the partition down

To see what happens differently than what has already been written a thousand times

What new change of weathered course sets you up to Higher Ground

To make new peace within your heart and set sail for lands anew

To grieve the life once lived yet never felt alive

The walls come down yet boundary remains

As the love that has replaced the war is the very thing to keep you safe

 

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

 

The Wealth Of Your Woundedness

By Jelelle Awen

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The preciousness of your vulnerability…that which is often hidden away, like a buried treasure within your emotional body. Buried to keep it safe by the part of you that protects and guards and has ALWAYS needed to since you came here to 3D life and confronted the harshness of separation and duality.

The tenderness of your pain…that which expresses in tears that you may hide behind your hands or save for private and alone times to express and still do. Learning to cry without sound as a child or teenager, preferring to let it out in the sanctuary of your bedroom or other private space.

The wealth of your woundedness…that which can feel like a curse or a burden to parts of you, yet actually contains gifts, these textures of previously undigested traumas opening up rich landscapes of feeling, inspiration, compassion for yourself and others.

All these previously hidden things are looking for the light of your day to shine on them. Inviting them out of the shadows, to be embraced, cared for, and SEEN. Your beloved and loyal protector showing you where they have been buried, so you can feel and heal together. Divine energies, Divine mama and Divine papa when needed, create the safety, offering the right timings and phases, the supportive container within to hold the emotive explorations.

Your higher self and soul coming into your body…coming in to infuse you with courage for the journey into the deeper depths of densities and suppressed feelings in your emotional body and in your Metasoul/other lifetimes. The bliss of this soul reunion allows for the downward digging that grounds in the higher frequencies into your heart.

The wealth of your woundedness…..the repeated beacon of your pain that is triggered by crashing romances, clashing relationships, conflicts and tensions, changes and transitions. Life continually bringing you ALL that you need to heal if you will just accept it as such and turn inward to see what it is offering you about you. The beacon of your pain calls you to go within; it calls you to discover the inner treasures; it calls you to return home to yourself over and over again.

~

Jelelle Awen is an Emoto-Spiritual Teacher, Soul Scribe, waySHOWer, and co-creator and teacher of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. She is author of Sacred Human, Arising Wonder: Ascension Through Integration Of Your Emotional Body With Your Spirituality and  Keep Waking Up! Awakening Journeys To Avalon And Beyond Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about a FREE intro session with a SoulFullHeart facilitator, group calls, videos, retreats, etc.

The Role Of Your Inner Protector

by Kalayna Colibri

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Artwork: The Wanderer Above the Sea of Fog by Caspar David Friedrich

A voice inside that tells you to be careful, and may even encourage you to have your guard so ‘up’ that relaxation feels impossible. A feeling of complete or nearly complete distrust of anyone, maybe even without much explanation or logical reasoning. A heightened sense of needing to protect yourself, that in some ways you may be so used to feeling that it becomes unconscious when it comes up and it comes up so automatically most of the time. A sense that there is a lot ‘out there’ to be wary of in terms of 3D dangers in your everyday life, but also in terms of ‘psychic attacks’ and ‘influences’.

This is the experience of having a sharp and astute Inner Protector, always at the ready, always standing at the helm, always on the lookout. There isn’t much room for feminine softness in this picture if you are a woman, or vulnerable sharing of your inner world if you are a man. There is a sense of finding ways to be in control of the situation you’re in, no matter what, even though underneath that you may feel the rumblings of actually feeling quite the opposite most of the time. In women, this energy tends to express as quite masculine, sometimes calling itself a ‘goddess’ or ‘warrior woman’. In men, this energy tends to express as overly ‘masculine’ in a way that is direct without heart, and penetrative without feeling. In both camps, there is so little vulnerability accessible, that it can feel impossible to feel anything but defensive in interactions with others.  Maybe when you are at home alone can you finally let this guard down and just be… yet for those of you who have families or a husband or wife, maybe this guard never really drops or relaxes to make room for a real ground of intimacy and love transaction with others.

Your Inner Protector has so needed to be there. In all of those interactions you had as a child, it began picking up on strategies other Inner Protectors were using, ways to control you and other parts of you, while also perhaps controlling others, however, whenever possible. Feeling offended or the need to defend against something that has been said or someone who you’re interacting with is so often a knee-jerk, automated sort of reaction from this part of you. This part has needed to be this way in a world that encourages either intense defenses and fear for one reason or other, or the complete dropping of all protection in order to access sexual or etheric experiences that you are told you are ‘supposed to’ get to. You may gravitate towards peak experiences like taking Ayahuasca or Peyote or other less natural drugs, or workshops and retreats that get you out of the normal day-to-day grind in order to elevate above the protection and find something different. The protection can be a veil on different levels of your being, wanting to keep you from feeling, from accessing YOU and your parts in a deeper way, which would lead to a more profound awakening experience.

As you heal, the need for a strong Inner Protector lessens and dissipates. Impenetrable walls and defensive reactivity turn into healthy, porous boundaries held with love and self-worth. The Protector changes form, helping you to transform as well, allowing for greater, sweeter intimacy with self and others that may challenge you in good ways at times. Ultimately it’s a process of letting more love in, for that is really what the Inner Protector is afraid of… love flowing into you and permanently changing all that it has worked to maintain up ’til now.

If you would like to perhaps try and meet your Inner Protector, you can listen to this SoulFullHeart group call and also try the meditation:  https://youtu.be/yP0OmxcSScc

If you feel you’d like to venture further into this energy, we offer ongoing sessions and a profound process around getting to know and healing your protector and other parts of you: www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions

From my heart to yours, sending lots of love to your Inner Protector and all they’ve held and continue to hold… ❤

 

 

***

Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

The Buried Treasures Of Our 3D Self

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Sitting. Meditating. Thoughts swirling all around. Analyzing, comparing, judging, questioning, doubting, wondering, and hiding. I can feel the density of it all and yet my highest heart and soul is holding it all with care and compassion. I am on a path. A journey. One that has chosen to come to terms with these 3rd Dimensional polarities and woundings inside me as beloved parts of my Highest Self.

I can remember the days before beginning this process.  The days where I would be looking for any form of relief I could find to make all the intense inner energies just go away.  Not be felt anymore. This ranged from self-help to spirituality to substance abuse. Using movies, food, exercise, sex and socializing as ways to cover over what was so front and center in my emotional body. Yet I just couldn’t find the courage to really go IN and deal with it all, for I could intuitively feel that if I did, a part of me would have to let go of all the suffering it had been used to as Life itself.  It was an existential identification with the pain in a way.  Who would I be without it?

It almost seems odd to feel that a part of us would be addicted to something so painful. But when you make the choice to finally go into the hard-to-feel places, you realize how much of this part of you has been invested in it.  That it has become its world. It has substituted something much smaller in place of what is much bigger, yet it hasn’t quite picked up on that until it has been given the time and space to feel and see it.

This is where the 3D self begins to recognize all that it has done to make life navigable and bearable. Even using higher frequencies to by-pass the lower ones. It is a tricky circumstance because it all feels right until what remains unfelt comes back again and again.  The oil of our wounding continues its ascension just as much as our consciousness. I can feel that in meditation.

As we have been developing the SoulFullHeart process more clearly, with an emphasis on the 3D Self in the beginning, I can feel all those nooks and crannies that still hold court inside my emotional body.  They don’t hold the same power as they once did but they are there nevertheless. It has been generally referred to as our Ego, and it is something that has gotten some negative publicity.  Something to transcend rather than heal and transform. This aspect of us is a very important part of our ascension as it holds so many traumas and fears. It is seeking love and integration, not annihilation.

So in this moment I hold those fears, judgments, and doubts as sacred beings inside my heart. They are the keys to new worlds inside me and a transformation of the world outside. I can feel some difficult things that still need my attention and that means I am on the right path.  Not that the path is meant to be hard, it is just that we set up some challenges for ourselves to live our way through so we can find out what it is we are truly all about and what we are not.

This new focus has lit up something in my own journey, and when you start to feel these hidden wounds within the context of a larger process, you too will begin to realize how much gold has been buried inside you awaiting your harvest. All held by the love of your Higher 5D Self and your Divine Parents.  They are what brings us to the next going-on place toward our greatest calling in the service of love.

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Patiently Loving Your Deepest Densities Through The Push And Pulls

By Jelelle Awen

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Push and pull….wanting to love and then resisting love. Wanting to change and then resisting change. Opening UP WIDE and then closing in again. These bliss moments are of heart doors swinging open and your heart pouring out to touch ALL of life. These mess moments are the heart doors shutting and your heart retracting again in pain.

These bliss mess moments of push and pull ARE your awakening process of heart and soul. Why would it be JUST bliss when this is not what you have known here in 3D living? Why would it be JUST about the highs when this has not been the reality you’ve experienced here? And, what is really learned from only UPs with no downs?

It is during the climbs and the crawls for which you learn the most about the substance for which you are made….in contrast to that which you are NOT. 3D reality doesn’t honor the climb, the process, the journey….yet wants the results and the gifts immediately. It wants the quick fixes rather than the long term gains.

A patience for the process allows that with UPs there will come downs too and wants BOTH. Your soul can hold space for the part of you formed in 3D life to learn, to sort it out, to open up and then close down. Your soul has access to Infinite Patience in this process and understands that it ‘takes the time that it takes’ to heal and clear the ground of your deepest densities.

These deepest densities are valued by your soul, not seen as ‘lesser’ at all, but rather a precious aspect of your journey here with Gaia. Not judged by the soul, yet rather held with curiousity and much love so that the required densities and toxicities needed to fit into a dualistic 3D world can be let go. The soul helps your 3D self unanchor from what it has needed to become attached to. Your higher heart allows this process to be held with MUCH love rather than inner battle and resistance loops that lead to suffering.

With a consistent heart and soul response from you to the deepest densities of your 3D self, it can let go of the push-pull it has known so often in your life and begin to let in LOVE more and more with less and less contraction away.

Jelelle Awen
Soulfullheartwayoflife.com

We offer in SoulFullHeart a process through weekly sessions with SFH facilitators for navigating this feeling, differentiating and loving of your 3D self while healing/growing your 4D transition self and embodying more and more your 5D (higher self coming into the body) self. We offer a free intro session for you to connect what you’ve been experiencing of awakening with how the process might serve you: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions.

During a livestream tomorrow, Sunday, at 11:11am CST, Raphael Awen and I will be offering an introduction to our process, the 3D self, how current cosmic energies are impacting this process and answering any questions you would like to ask us about this…I’ll be streaming it here on my feed and also on our SoulFullHeart Way Of Life feed….more info here:https://www.facebook.com/events/1273156469462294

Journaling With My Debt

By Raianna Shai

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You’re not so scary…right? I mean, you certainly have this power to make me quake in my boots but there’s nothing you can aaactually do…right?

For parts of me that’s not true at all. For a part of me debt represents failure. Especially when other people know about it, especially when it affects them.

So I wonder, what is the worst possible scenario that can happen with debt? Well, I could go to jail. Assuming by law it would even be worth it to them to send a young girl to jail for a $5000 loan… That doesn’t feel possible at all though and the thought of that just makes me laugh! Me? In jail? Yeah right… So what are the other consequences that are really hitting home right now? There are the complications of moving back to Canada and trying to get a bank account and ruining my credit. But that still feels so 3D and doesn’t even bother my parts all that much.

Then there’s the emotional response of what other people think of me. Ahhh, there’s the ticket. Other people, always other people. So what do these “other people” represent that make me feel so self conscious to admit that I can’t pay back my loan. Society, perfection, blending in, failure. Everything that takes me off the conveyor belt of conforming to standards and onto an unknown path. A path where you…lead yourself? Where you can…love yourself? That feels so foreign and wonderful and terrifying… So I ask this part of myself, what is it that’s so damn scary about being different and having people see me being different?

“Well, Raianna, it means that they can see me, which means that they can judge me. If I do everything right according to them then I’m inherently invisible. I can’t make anyone uncomfortable, I don’t have to think outside the box, there are rules and regulations that I can follow so I don’t have to think or feel on my own… okay I can see how that might get boring. But it’s so much EASIER!”

I take this in and address my angel cards (a gift I’ve been given to help parts of me bridge to connections with higher frequencies, guides, and the Divine). Interestingly, two out of three cards mention letting go of fear and negative emotions of victimization (the other tells me I should be doing workshops so I guess I’m good at writing about this stuff?). That helped me regain the perspective that I’m not a victim to my circumstance. I can feel the pain behind what debt means to a part of me but it’s also already something I’m working through. I’ve kept myself in a suffering loop over money for so long and even this part of me feels ready to be done with that.

So, as an action to go along with this new perspective and more 5D feeling around debt, I’m going to delete the emails that I’ve been getting about the actions that the loan office will take against me and let go of this debt that keeps me chained to the 3D world. It will no longer be an anchor for me as I heal the pain that lies in being seen and being different. I haven’t chosen an easy path, but I’ve chosen one that calls my very heart and soul, and that, to me, feels so much more fulfilling.

~

Raianna Shai is a SoulFullHeart facilitant and social media maven for SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit  www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, group calls, videos, community, retreats, etc. Return LOVE in money form: https://www.paypal.me/supportsoulfullheart or visit our Patreon page to become a monthly supporter: https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

From Heaven to Hell: The Sacred Ground Of Being Popped Into And Out Of 5D

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There has been an interesting dynamic occurring lately, where a few souls have been asking for assistance with a particular spiritual situation.  The scenario generally goes like this: A person has a huge awakening experience that comes to them seemingly out of the blue.  They have been “popped” into a conscious 5D awareness.  The visceral experiences vary, but the feeling is one of elation and bliss.  A whole new way of being in life.  And then, something happens to clunk them back into a denser frequency that feels like a hell in comparison to where they were at.  Intense reactions and thoughts get pushed up that make life almost unbearable to live after that.  I feel like this may be happening more and more, and those that are dealing with it feeling like they are alone in this “nightmare” that a part of them is experiencing. Perhaps you can relate with this too.

What is happening here? How could you be so high one minute and be so low the next without a sense of how or why? There could be a multitude of different individual reasons, but one general one that feels true is that there are woundings that are needing to be addressed that have not been resolved/healed in your emotional body.  The stay in 5D has a shelf life equivalent to what has been repressed and unfelt as traumas in your shadow.  There is a big soul drama being played out in the court of your human heart and it is asking for attention.

Now, how it got to be this way can be easily, and understandably, taken as it being done to you by someone else. You could ‘blame’ a negative entity or a teacher/healer’s etheric malpractice happening to you.  Once you have rescinded to the status of victim, you have lost your power.  So, first thing, you must take power back.  Realize that this is all being conducted by the Higher Self, not as a punishment, for love doesn’t punish, but as an opportunity to reclaim the buried and lost parts of yourself before taking off into deeper conscious territories of experience.  This is a big one to let in and be with for it grants the courage and conditions to make the next steps.

The next step is to feel how this feeling of hell is being held by a PART of you and not all of you.  It is a very scared 3D protector part that so much needs to feel someone bigger than the hell itself.  In fact, this part created the hell in order to be felt in all the traumas that still exist.  It says, “Hey, yo! You can’t just leave me here all alone! I have some things to say!” It is banking on the fact that you will give up the awakening path because it is too much for it to bear.  By feeling it as a separate part, a dialogue and relationship can form that can offer some relief.  There could be many “this life” 3D traumas that are also triggering Metasoul woundings at the same time.  It can be a spaghetti pretzel of a mess emotionally without the help of a mirror to help assist someone in untangling the knots, such as what we offer in the SoulFullHeart process.

It is important to understand that the “hell” you find yourself in is a sacred birthing ground.  It is not to be saved from or given temporary relief.  It is for a very important process.  It may even need to continue if your soul has signed up to experience something that it needs and wants to experience. In SoulFullHeart, there are no promises or guarantees that you can, or should, exit this very difficult place.  It is all an unfolding that takes much dedication and yet may still not yield the desired results if that is not what is meant to occur.

BUT, there is a process that can be had that can help to create the space from it so you can take the next steps.  I have had many “hell” experiences myself and can understand the intense emotions that are swirling inside.  However, there has to be just enough of a solid self and self-love there to create the space necessary to feel the parts inside you that are needing attention.  This is where the SoulFullHeart Process can be of service.  My heart goes out to those that are living in this intensity and hold it as a very sacred time, even though it feels scary as hell.

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Intro To 3D Self Teachings And Guided Meditation (Video)

By Jelelle Awen
After offering group calls since January, 22 of them in ALL!, Raphael and I hosted our last one on Saturday. We felt to focus our energies and efforts related to serving love on sessions (including our FREE intros with Gabriel Heartman or Raphael), developing and offering our SoulFullHeart process, our books (SEVEN of them in all going to re-released in the next couple of months, plus a new one alchemizing from Raphael and I right now) and our bi-monthly livestream Q & As on Sundays here on FB and on our you tube channel too.
 
I feel a BIG thank you to all the souls who came to our group calls over the last months, and especially those who were vulnerable enough to share some of their journey and their experience with us as a group, which was usually three or four souls per group call! The group calls gave Raphael and I a platform to teach from and space to offer guided meditations from too…which was such a blessed mirror as we are finding our ‘wings’ and groundings as teachers and wayshowers. Every call seemed to go exactly as it should with those souls meant to be there showing up, getting what they needed in that moment (I trust), and the group energy creating what it could and would between us all.
 
The video/audio recording of our last group call featuring an introduction to the 3D self is above. SoulFullHeart Facilitators Gabriel and Kalayna Colibri offer their experiences and process with their 3D self and we connect what we offer in the SoulFullHeart process to this important aspect(s) of our BEing and ascension! More about what we offer in our SoulFullHeart process related to connecting with the 3D self here: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions
 
We are hosting a livestream this sunday and you can ask us questions and get our responses during it. Starts at 11:11am CST (Mexico City) time and we’ll be streaming to our SFH FB page and our individual pages too, plus You Tube. Or you can watch the recording of it afterwards. More info here: https://www.facebook.com/events/1273156469462294
or here: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/events
~
Jelelle Awen is an Emoto-Spiritual Teacher, Soul Scribe, waySHOWer, and co-creator and teacher of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. She is author of Sacred Human, Arising Wonder: Ascension Through Integration Of Your Emotional Body With Your Spirituality and  Keep Waking Up! Awakening Journeys To Avalon And Beyond Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about a FREE intro session with a SoulFullHeart facilitator, group calls, videos, retreats, etc.

Spirituality And The 3D Self

by Kalayna Colibri

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The 3D self says,

“I don’t always believe in ‘god’… unless of course, it’s a literal god, one who has very black and white ways of punishing or rewarding us as humans and has given us very clear rules through people we don’t question. Sometimes I feel punished or rewarded for goodness or badness. Sometimes I don’t feel much of anything and just want to be left alone… because ultimately, I do feel alone. I don’t get a visceral sense of ‘god’ or ‘god-ness’ and I usually feel drawn to compartmentalizing god too… leaving ‘him’ to when I attend church on Sundays or at Christmas, for example. Sometimes I like retreats because they don’t challenge me to live with the spirituality every day and the 4D self can at least be sort of satiated for a while by them, or at least it can seem so. Letting in the Divine scares me because I don’t quite know or understand what that means, and I really feel mostly like it would mean losing everything I’ve built or bought or earned – relationships, career, things, etc. I don’t feel or find anything ‘spiritual’ or purposeful in the every day, and most of the time this suits me just fine… if god doesn’t bother me, I won’t bother ‘him’. Life seems like an uncontrollable thing at times, and yet totally controllable in others… or at least, I’ve convinced myself I have control when I really don’t. And if I truly let that in, I would crumble – or at least I’m afraid I would.

I live in systems made of my fears and the fears of others, that are led and maintained by the most afraid members of society. God is unknowable and unseeable, but money is and relationships are, and family is too. I can see and touch and smell material things and food that I want. I can’t see or touch who made them or harvested them or at least not often, and I don’t want to look that far into anything. I want what I want in this moment and beyond that, I don’t care. To truly be in touch with ‘god’ would mean having to see more than I do now. I don’t think I want that.

You’re born, you live, you die. I don’t think much about what happens after that. All I care about is where my next fun is coming from, in the form of food, sex, or something material that shows me I’m worth something. How does ‘god’ have a chance to enter that, and why would I want ‘him’ to?”

Sometimes, as we walk into and through different chapters of 4D awakening, where spirituality then becomes a subject fraught with questions and soul rebirth canals, we inhabit a 3D reality which is essentially ‘god-less’, at least in the sense of having a daily, visceral experience of god or the Divine in different forms and energies. You may feel yourself weaving in and out of a more 3D reality of the ‘god picture’ along the way, sometimes feeling as if life is wonder-less, and that you don’t have much sense of the Divine in your life right now. This can feel really dense and as if there is a ceiling over you and sometimes you may even have physical reactions to this reality, like intense head pain, along with some emotional reactions from parts of you to different situations in your life where things don’t seem to be going the way you or part of you wants them to. As we awaken, we begin to separate out from this ‘self’ that would rather not hold a personal sort of ‘god’ experience and also the different parts that hold this as their only possible reality. The 3D self doesn’t seem to vanish, however, though it does heal more and more and gradually integrates into our daily reality and our being in a different way. Our 3D self represents ‘this-life’ wounds and pain, though it may not always feel that consciously or if it does, it may seek therapy or some form of self-help that won’t ultimately reach the deepest aspects of what needs to heal. It needs us, inside of our 4D or 5D selves, to help bridge it to something deeper and actually be with it there too, not trying to suppress or abandon it, which we can’t really do anyways.

The 3D self can sometimes make itself hard to love. It has a way in which it has built formidable walls and can feel unreachable in the sense of feeling it deeply beyond a surface-level sense of success, failure, loss, gain, happiness at getting what it wants, sadness when it doesn’t. It very seldom holds a deep compassion towards itself or others. This may not be true of all 3D selves, but for most of them, this feels like what needs to be felt, held and reconciled within each.

Ascension, in my sense of it, means inviting the 3D self to come along, loving it the whole way. This love can’t be false because this ‘self’ won’t buy it if it is, or might pretend to for a time but in the end, it won’t be deeply moved by anything you offer it. It is so often an energy of protective disbelief. Loving it begins with feeling one part of you at a time, and feeling your way into the love that wants to flow into and through you and wrap around it too. From this place, comes our deepest, purest sense of spirituality, which has always been there somehow, though the days and moments come when we feel it has left us or isn’t accessible. These phases are as much a part of our journey as the highest heights are, and every bit as sacred.

To learn more about working with and healing your 3D self, you can visit our website, http://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions for a sense of how we hold the process and what the SoulFullHeart process is in and of itself. ❤

***

Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

 

Loving The Leading And Trailing Edges Of Our Being

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By Raphael Awen

What makes for the funnest fun in life is getting to know what’s on the leading edge of your being AND what’s on the trailing edge of your being, as well as the you that tends to ride the in between middle.

We all know a whole lot more about what’s in the muted muddied middle of our being: not quite sure what we want, boredom, escape, excitement? But when we venture from this not-so-comfortable comfort zone into the unexplored regions of our being where we don’t know what’s going on, and where the radar doesn’t inform us, we enter our true capacity for aliveness.

The leading edge of our being holds our latest discoveries as a soul being, being and doing human life as us. Our trailing edge of our being holds our deepest wounds from this and other lifetimes; our wounded reactivity to life; the stuff in the shadows that parts of ourselves would naturally try to hide from even our awareness.

It’s the tension between the two that makes for the juice in all of our relationships with all aspects of life. In people relationships, it is our leading and trailing edges combinations that make for our deepest co-dependencies as well as our greatest fulfillments. In our relationship with our calling, it is the inclusion and discovery of both the leading and trailing edge where that calling comes to life. It is not the overcoming of the trailing edge, but rather the embracement of it that provides for the unfolding journey of magic.

In our attempts to overcome or transcend our trailing edge of our being, we actually suppress a very necessary energy that wants to provide the necessary movements we seek and want. Parts of us want the middle. Other parts of our being want the edges. We, as an arising healthy parent to these orphaned parts of ourselves, are being invited to show up and negotiate a path in and through.

I know for instance that I feel a great calling to be an outstanding teacher. At 56 years of age, I daydream of being in demand and well rewarded to speak to large gatherings of people, speaking with a compelling charisma that transforms people and audiences to experience something they and we never experienced together before. In my leading edge of being, I can feel this reality as if it were here now. It lives in me and always has. In my trailing edge of being however, I feel a variety of resistances and hesitations about this desired timeline. If I am unable to embrace these outer regions of my leading edge/trailing edge being, I am left with a seriously muted alchemy. If I embrace one edge at the expense of the other, I am left with a weird creation that hurtles through time and space serving at best as a poor example.

What is your biggest dream? Would it embarrass a part of you to admit it? Is it okay with you to leave it de-energized in this muddied middle of your being away from the power of your leading and trailing edges of your being? What choice point is in front of you that feels like a doorway in? (there always is a doorway in if we’re willing to see it)

You’ve got a whole lot more inside of you than parts of you have been willing to admit!

When you own the leading and trailing edges of your being, you get really interesting to the universe, and you open yourself to the highest timeline possibilities for your life.

(Audio of this blog can be found here: https://youtu.be/y7nY5twy90E)

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit  www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

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