By Kalayna Colibri – Page 22 – Divine Self Embodiment Blog (Formerly SoulFullHeart)

In The Humble Service Of Love, We Serve Ourselves Too

Published on August 11, 2017September 30, 2017 by Kasha Rosa3 Comments

Blonde Girl Flying with Butterflies

As I hold space for others, so I hold space for myself.

As the journey unfolds with a facilitant and within my relationship with this facilitant, I feel more ‘me’ that arises and surprises too. I feel teachings escape my lips, coming from a place higher than where it has felt that maybe my head and heart have been in recent hours, minutes or days. I feel offerings full of love that move within me, sometimes bringing me to tears as I feel my beloved facilitant’s tears too. Together we feel the magic of the moment, of the movement stirred within her, that is somehow stirring within me too. I feel her, I feel me, I feel how we are connected to each other, yet also to something bigger, something ‘ahead’ yet not ‘above’ us, that dances in collaboration with our hearts and souls in this sacred space we call ‘SoulFullHeart sessions’.

We pilgrim to this place, this Mecca within and held too in community group spaces together, dining or checking in or both. We journey here through the heart, with the mind, engaging all facets, all aspects, all parts of our being. We bring all we are to the table, we work to build this altar of inner ‘god/goddess’ worship through many tears, many words written down, many feelings deeply felt. All awakenings along the way are markers, big or small, of where we have gone and where we are continuing to go. All birth canals are just that… deep breathing that allows for contractions within our being, bringing about new meanings, new places to see and feel the world from, new ways to see and feel ourselves and the magic of our inner worlds. The shadows have magic in them too. They help to show the light, they illuminate where the love still needs and wants to go, they bring in more of what we need to feel MORE loved, MORE ‘up’.

I am always humbled by what comes when I hold session space with another who is engaged in this work. I am humbled by their journey that is unfolding, unearthing before me, within them, in my presence, in the presence of the Divine, of curious Star Beings, of Archangels, of Metasoul Aspects, of as-yet undiscovered parts who are waiting in the wings for their moment to hold center stage in this healing place of inner worship and love. Wow. Nothing beats this… nothing compares to all that is learned through this. Here there is no kNOwing, only feeling. Sometimes pure feeling, without words. Pure spaces of really letting in love, sometimes for the first time, or what can truly feel like the first time.

I keep learning as my facilitants learn, about themselves, about the world, about spirituality, about what it means to be human, but most of all, what it means to be THEM. They keep leaning as I do, into me, into my experience that has placed me ‘ahead’ of them for this phase at least, into the Divine, into an arising heart that is growing and healing and expanding inside of them and inside of me too.

I am blessed to be in this place, holding this space with others walking and feeling this out. I am blessed to share it as a process for me too, just as it is a process for them. The crucible of leading, of teaching, of serving love, is a deep calling that flows inward and outward, both, like the most sacred river you will ever feel, ever find, ever kneel before and drink from with the most reverence you have ever felt in your life. I have the honour of serving love, of feeling more of the love that I am, and getting a front row seat to witness that unfold inside of another.

For me, this is what it means to serve love in this phase of my life. To wear my humble robes of experience, to wade through the self-doubts that surface from parts and Metasoul aspects of me that actually need this crucible in order to heal. Incredible. Divine. Sacred. I am in love… and more and more, I feel like I AM love.

Another corridor awaits and at each turn there is more.

And here we go, into it ALL, with it all, loving it all, and then some. ❤

***

Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

The Multi-Dimensional Dance Of Soul And Heart Maturation

Published on August 9, 2017August 9, 2017 by Kasha Rosa1 Comment

by Kalayna Colibri

flying heart

It’s an odd dance for me today and lately, of feeling both here and not here, both overwhelmed and as if I am in abundant joy to the point where I want to yell in some sort of orgasmic ecstasy… this push-pull sensation between the unknown and the known. The sort of acquaintance I have had deep in my soul with being a ‘young adult’ and taken care of by many though there was always an ache to be independent of this too. It’s a polarization of wanting to mature, to have my heart grow and open and beacon OUT in the service of love and a tug on the inside that still wants to stay small, stay ‘young’, find a mom and maybe a dad too to take care of all of my major needs. At times this ‘parent’ on the outside has been drawn through a boyfriend or a best friend. Sometimes it has pulled on aspects of my beloveds too, needing challenges that would come from a parent shaping their child, wanting to be guided in all choices instead of seeking the guidance within and getting messy when necessary. I think some of the more chaotic phases of my life have come as a result of this polarization, this feeling of both wanting to BE so much more of who I AM and am becoming, and yet being content on some level to find my smallness again too through circumstances and relationships and even jobs as well.

I’ve had plenty of ‘adulthood’ templates cross my path. Many of which parts of me have rebelled against, wanting to find their own way. At times it has been a relief to feel that someone has been wherever I am at a given moment before and can offer me wisdom from the place of having walked through it. And yet, at other times, the relief has not come as then these moments seem to ‘rob’ a part of me of being able to experience it all on my/her own too. To prove that maybe there IS another way that it can all turn out… inevitably, we all have to walk out our own circumstances in a way that fits with our soul and heart maturity level. This is supposed to shape our destinies in different ways than maybe we’ve ever seen or noticed before. This is daunting and empowering, both.

Some of this is the ‘Indigo dilemma’ it feels like, or at least this is what I feel to call it in the moment. It’s this inner drive to change pretty much everything about how the world works or has worked until now. It often comes out as a desire to set fire to systems and sometimes even leaders themselves… maybe not literally, but I can definitely own that in my shadow there have been moments of wanting to at least spit fireballs at leaders through a few well-chosen words. Even as I write and digest this, I can feel different Metasoul aspects of mine that live in different dimensions and eras but have been a part of some major moments in the world’s history, including wars and also the co-founding of different dimensional mystery schools such as Avalon or at least its early stages… at any rate, this spitfire way of approaching what’s happening and has happened globally feels like it actually comes from a much deeper core wound inside of my Metasoul that I and I’m sure many other Indigos are actually working at this very moment. It’s this feeling of, ‘I have to grow up (‘ascend’) HERE? In THIS place?? Where no one really listens to each other, let alone what I have to say?’ It has a bearing on our self-worth, a ring to it that hurts to feel as it hits deeper and deeper. We are feeling collective pain and angst and also our own. All souls everywhere, or at least those awakening now, have seen, felt, experienced much through their own Metasoul experiences, let alone this life (which can be a loaded cannon for many too, in and of itself). To feel OUTraged is actually quite easy, but to bring it back inward and feel what’s going on at deeper levels of our being, THAT is the challenging part…

I feel that some of this global maturation process is about embracing our multi-dimensionality and our parts too. It is about really looking at ourselves, even and especially when tempted to blame someone or something on the outside of us. Transformation is an inside job, really. It is a course of owning that we aren’t quite ‘there’ yet in terms of being completely healed, feeling humbled enough to drop the self-righteousness and LOOK at what still needs the waters of self-love to be nourished and keep on growing up and opening out. I do feel this up and down feeling of being at times in a rapidly moving elevator heading one direction or another yet mostly UPward, is a necessary crucible for embracing deeper abundance and love. There is a pending expiration date on our smallness, a time when the toddler clothes or teen clothes just don’t fit anymore… it’s a time to keep moving into the more ‘adult’ skins that may feel as if they hang loosely for a while until they are fully grown into my our purifying and growing sacred human hearts. I’m still not quite sure what it means to truly ‘adult’ in this world, in an authentic way for my ‘age’. Yet more and more I can feel what it is not or does not feel to be at least for me and the stage I am at in my process and growth.

Maybe somehow, someday, it just all clicks into place. Maybe it never really does, or at least not for long. I’m okay with the unfolding mystery of that. I’m okay with even feeling this tension of the unknown, as I so trust there is another side to it AND I feel how the Divine doesn’t really know either. I feel in this with you too, you taking this into your own heart and soul, feeling it for yourself perhaps. We are creating all of what we want more of in every moment we choose to do so and in that, we are already inhabiting more and more of who we are truly meant to be and become too!

***

Lion’s Gate: The ‘Roar’ Of Your Intention Comes Alive Now

Published on August 8, 2017August 8, 2017 by Kasha Rosa2 Comments

by Kalayna Colibri

lionsgate8-8

When you can set your intention like a beacon love for yourself, and hold that it IS possible though for parts of you it may feel impossible, this is what brings about the changes that you are asking for and holding out for. It is not an accident, that conversation you’re having with another about what you most want deep inside of you. It is a care-filled conjuring of what is right for you, what needs to come to and through you next…

For me, it is about embodying adulthood in a deeper way than I have been able to before, though I have technically been an ‘adult’ for many years now. It is not age that matures you or offers you wisdom, it is your willingness to go inward, to find and feel your heart even when it is in shadows and seems covered in infinite brambles and sharp vines. Your protector has worked hard to keep parts of you in a sort of stasis, to keep you in a level of heart-immaturity and with good reason too… how can a heart, like a beautiful, tropical fruit or flower, ripen or open in conditions where it isn’t being nourished?

I feel like the seed of my truest heart was planted many years ago and transplanted over different phases of seeking and healing. Finding the SoulFullHeart soil has helped me in countless ways, to bring my soul and gifts to fruition and deep awakening. It does feel like this Lion’s Gate portal opening today and all month, is here to help us plant and cultivate, reaping rewards while feeling ourselves and our needs on all levels. It is a maturation process that is ultimately about our Ascension and is also about reconciling who we have been, who we are now and who we most want to be.

Today feels like it could be a day where some feel the need for an outbound ROAR! that comes up from the bowels of everything they’ve long held and no longer wish to. It is the ROAR! of an inner protector that is DONE or wants to be done, it is the ROAR! of your precious inner teenager who has held so many years of rebellion or perhaps an avoidance of rebellion in order to conform and find safety or find ways to buck the system. It is the ROAR! of a deeper awakening on the inside that gets to come outward, finally.

Today also feels like for some it will be a day of a quiet roar inside, of a sweeter inner collapse that means parts of you are ready to be stiller now, to let you in more now, to lay on the soft grass of healing, snuggling with the rest of the inner lions in your Pride. This is the softer ‘roar’ of arrival into a higher place where the battles are done and the much needed rest time can happen… this is the roar of your long awaited healing and maturation process, where you can play more and feel more of your belovedness, though sometimes the roar of boundary setting with others or even with parts of you may still need to happen from this place.

No matter what the blessed ‘roar’ of inner change you are embodying today, it is ALL sacred, and you ARE arriving at a new place in yourself and in your life. Your intentions are ringing clearer and your drive to continue healing and loving is what is setting your sails now for new horizons of self and connection with others.

LOVE to you on this glorioUS day… ❤

***

A ReLOVEution To End Inner Violence And Violence-Based Choices

Published on August 5, 2017August 5, 2017 by Kasha Rosa1 Comment

by Kalayna Colibri

re-love-ution

“These violent delights have violent ends

And in their triumph die”

– Romeo and Juliet, ActII, Scene VI

Our suffering so often comes from violent choices.

Violence is chosen when parts of us decide to bury themselves, to bury their pain, covering it up, numbing it out, putting makeup on it, pretending it either doesn’t exist, or in some cases hiding it in plain sight through sabotage of this relationship or that job or through self-harm in the form of addiction of any kind.

Violence is chosen when parts of us decide to see the world as personally oppressive, racking up reason after reason, building a case for their victimhood, making it inevitable that an intense push-away always becomes necessary and the world feels like ‘us’ against ‘them’. As we assuage the battles within, there ARE times sometimes when we receive violence and abuse or aggression from others and DO need to advocate, to turn away, to all-out walk away from what needs to collapse for the sake of our self-worth and also at times our survival. Sometimes this has a violent playout and fallout. If this situation lasts, there is likely some deeper violence still happening within, because this relationship on the outside represents a battle raging on the inside. It is a climate that your parts have gotten used to… and have not learned how to be or even imagined how to be anything different towards each other.

Violence is chosen when parts of us hold rigidly onto ways of seeing and feeling others. In some cases, parts don’t want to feel others’ perspectives, or, would prefer to feign compassion rather than be in the process that allows them to feel genuine compassion for the first time. This serves as a numbing of the self. It is a focus on keeping the victim inside alive and pushing away the budding King or Queen of heart and soul. It is also violent when we try to press our point of view on another who isn’t ready or doesn’t want to take it in. It is violent too, to use aggressive energy behind our words and point of view. These examples are another way to become numb to the needs of others and the ways in which they need to walk out what they are walking out, without name-calling or unfair readouts. This is a hard thing to avoid doing when we have so much tension inside from us to us and part to part… this does move over time though and is so important to keep feeling as it comes up.

Violence is chosen by choosing to eat foods that are violent to the planet and/or to our bodies. I don’t offer this as a piece to feel shame over, but rather something to just feel into. It does feel important to let this in and to make new choices, feeling the parts of you that have resistance to this along the way, so that they can come with you and not feel as if THEY are experiencing violence against THEM, as this dynamic can happen too…

Violence and revenge in different forms have become a strong underpinning in our cultures worldwide. It is a way to see war as an option, protests as the only means of revolution, and aggressive, ambitious efforts the only way to be ‘successful’.

A reLOVEution can be and IS so different than this… than even those subtle twinges of wanting to fight fire with fire in some way. There is a way that we can stand up for ourselves through boundaries and vulnerability that doesn’t need to result in withholding love in any way. We can find a way to teach ourselves new ways of being in life and in LOVE without committing any sort of violence, suppression or oppression inside.

This is as much an ongoing process for me as it likely is for you too. I have had many years inside of a process of peeling back the layers of inner violence and battles and even recently have felt a Metasoul aspect that still lives in the era of Women’s Suffrage in the UK. Really intense timeline, that one. Talk about fighting fire with fire! She and I have been able to feel that there IS an alternative to these violent means of ‘fighting’… feeling how bringing vulnerability is actually the key to deep inner and outer change. She is still being convinced of the truth of this, as she understandably lives in an intense time and hasn’t really seen this in action, but she is trying and that is enough for me to feel something MORE wanting to come and be inside of me and thus from me to others too. I actually feel her helping me write this piece today… it’s helping her digest her reality and new possibilities that are arising for her and for others.

A new, violence-less horizon is calling, wanting to help us end our personal and collective suffering… how deeply you are able to heed this call is a very personal choice and it feels like any healing of this on any level of your being is a fantastic start!

LOVE to you, fellow reLOVEutionary!

***

Energies Invite Us Into A New Kind Of ‘Strength’ From Within

Published on August 4, 2017 by Kasha Rosa7 Comments

by Kalayna Colibri

Alessandro Sanna

Painting by Alessandro Sanna

Our self-doubts run deep within a river of rejection fears and wounds. This river rises more and more as these energies swirling around us come in to shake it up, bring it up, flush it out. Having days that feel like everything inside of you is against you is part of this process… there are parts of you that want you to feel them, finally, in their turmoil. They want to be loved in spite of their spiky armor and seen for more than just the pain they hold. They want you to show up for them, to show them that they have worth so that in your very being, you can feel this worth deeply, inhabit it, live by it, and never compromise it again. So much inside of you wants and aches for your advocacy from you to you, to stop the madness for each part of you and Metasoul aspect too.

The image of the ‘Heart Warrior’ is another superhero that parts of you want to lean into, yet it too is an archetype of invulnerability that pushes away love. Yes, there is a ‘hero’ inside of you that shows up somehow to feel YOU for the first time in the form of these precious parts of your being, heart, and soul, and yet the famed ferocity is for naught. It is only a picture of what is needed to cut through the din within, but not the sword of love. Love needs no sword. Love comes in anyway, sneaks under your fence posts, doesn’t need to shield itself and certainly doesn’t need a weapon. Love will win the wrestling match, even though parts of you try to prolong it for years, decades, centuries on end, pushing aside its mirrors, following only the habitual flow back into patterns of old that have yet to bring you the joy and fulfillment you’ve wanted.

There wouldn’t be a way to feel all there is to feel without a strengthening happening within – an energy that cannot be broken by any outside force and eventually no inside one either. It is a way to feel that all you’re feeling does have purpose and that the gauntlet you’re walking out is the training ground you need. This is a strong metaphor, yes, because this is what it feels like to truly be in process in these moments where so much is surfacing. It feels as tough as it is, as it has had to be. Parts of you have built walls to keep the flood waters of feeling out, yet here they are blowing apart your inner dams and bringing you to a new surface above it all where none of it is transcended, yet held, owned, taken responsibility for, and healed over different phases of life.

We are not only being cleared out by Ascension energies, but we are being strengthened, toned, given new legs to stand on too. What is moving needs to be replaced, not only by crystalline cells but also by a new stance, a brand new way of standing with a strength that doesn’t need battles to prove itself, only a continual advocacy for and with love. It’s an ongoing invitation to no longer seek and find reasons to go to war, yet to feel and love the parts of you that want to and have become very good at it over the years.

It’s time to flow into the inner rivers of pain and wounding, to find yourself on a new shore, renewed and more alive than ever before. To let it all surface takes more strength than burying it and you can so trust that it’s all leading you somewhere safer, LOVElier, better.

***

Collapsing And Awakening Into Deeper Spiritual Consciousness

Published on August 1, 2017August 2, 2017 by Kasha Rosa2 Comments

By Kalayna Colibri

Painting: The Awakening by Anato Finnstark

“Am I real?”

I laid in my twin bed in a room temporarily shared with my soul friend Gabriel, around this time last year, sobbing. This question rang inside of me as I wept uncontrollable, deep tears. I couldn’t track if it was a part of me and in that moment and the moments that followed, it really didn’t matter. I was crying and shedding layers of persona that came pouring off and out of me. Something was moving, though I wasn’t sure what.

It felt so strange to hold this question… it was a true, ‘wow, I feel so f*cked!’ kind of feeling. The ground that had been established for 29 years of my life, many years of spiritual seeking and emotional exploration, was suddenly in deep question. Who was I? Who AM I? Why did I suddenly feel as if I ‘knew’ so little when it came to spirituality, even after so many years of studying this and intuiting that, and listening to this teacher and that teacher?

This work in SoulFullHeart is deconstructive. It brings you to the point where the parts of you that have been shouldering your life and also your spirituality like Atlas shoulders the Earth decide they can’t do ‘it’ anymore. They let in that they aren’t now and perhaps have never been who they thought they were – meaning that now, you can begin to feel that YOU are not who you thought you were. Wow. Even after years of process and doing this piece by piece, part by part, these moments of pure tears of awakening within are not something that can be predicted, they just need to be given the space to happen.

As my tears continued, I thought about Jelelle and Raphael sleeping in a nearby room. I saw them as light beams in their essences. I could feel the identities we each have and need to have to some extent as a costume we sign up for and wear throughout our lives. As humans, we wear our stories like cloaks around our shoulders, and some of us have zippers in these cloaks to bring them in tighter to us. Either way, it’s a costume and it’s temporary. This washed over me, especially while connecting with Gabriel who heard my tears and felt to come over to check on me. I could feel his heart and the heart of Raphael and Jelelle too. I could feel the purifying work we’ve been doing, and I could feel how this is what allows us to go into these spaces when necessary, to fill back up with love again and a deeper sense of our essence.

This experience was visceral for me. It cannot be dissected or analyzed. It was a precious new beginning and recognition of what real spirituality is… it is not something that lives in the mind, though the mind is needed to help us understand somehow, even though our consciousness can never fully reach out and ‘know’ or understand everything. The mind is also here to help us picture, envision, plan what’s next for us (as much as we even CAN plan these days!). My own mind was collapsing in these moments last year, telling me it was tired. My heart was collapsing and yet strengthening too, telling me it was tired of trying to go beyond itself and into territory that doesn’t resonate or make sense to it in an experiential way.

This was an awakening. This was and is a place where many of us are heading in different strata of our being and the layers of awakening are going to move through us, as they need to and as we ask for them to.

We are dismantling and collapsing and we have MUCH to feel in the process. Our worlds, inner and outer, are in question in poignant moments of disclosure and revelation. We are all awakening, we are all letting go to let in, even if we aren’t fully aware of it. We are not here to criticize one another for wherever it is we choose to go or not go. We are not here to condemn, ridicule or cast aside. We are here to feel ourselves first, to begin entering this process of self-disclosure and discovery, with help, with mirrors, with advocacy, with tears, and with joy too. If we serve love, we are not always positive or optimistic, but we are real, only becoming realer and realer, until the overflow of a heart that wants and receives from self can then serve love to other, assisting them in their own journey of finding this flow within. It is becoming harder and harder to NOT be real now. We are no longer able to spend the currency of the false, at least not for much longer.

How amazing it is, to be able to go here and come out the other side with a deeper sense of love and what it truly offers us… when I look back on this last year of my life since this process, I can see the ways in which it helped to fuel some big shifts inside of me, some of which are still landing deeper and deeper in my soul.

All awakenings we have, no matter how intense, are here to help conduct us through a necessary birth canal that leads us to our most desired outcomes and a deep sense of spirituality that humbles and loves us beyond anything we can begin to fathom – until we collapse into the capacity to do so…

***

Pausing On ‘Doing’ To Feel And ‘BEcome’

Published on July 31, 2017 by Kasha RosaLeave a comment

by Kalayna Colibri

thepowerofthepausewhyyoushouldjustbe

Sometimes you need a break to reevaluate, to take stock, to go IN. The ‘charging ahead’ is too often fuelled by something that can ultimately leave you feeling unfulfilled, like all you do is put out energy and get what can feel like ‘nothing’ in return. And then sometimes you feel this consciously and other times you don’t… your conditioning may run so deep in relationship to ‘doing’ and ‘productivity’ in one way or another, that the ‘time’ and space to actually feel into how this is affecting you and those around you is challenging to find.

It can be so subtle too, this drive to ‘forge onward’ even though you feel tired and the need to recuperate can become buried by parts of you that are addicted somehow to the race of it all, the adrenaline, and the way in which it keeps you from feeling them. Overriding the need for rest is an act of violence towards the self, with suppression as the priority. Also, without the time for you, the time put out for others can be in-genuine and fuelled by something other than authentic love, care, and reverence.

The hardest part in this, is feeling the vulnerability underneath the desire to ‘keep going’… for parts of me and Metasoul aspects of mine too, it has been a fear of becoming invisible, irrelevant, like suddenly I won’t exist in people’s worlds if I don’t keep showing up despite needing time just for me, to become more visible to myself first.

How can someone else take me in if I am not taking myself in?

I get that in some ways, this is easy to manufacture… that is, until it isn’t. There are plenty of strategies out there for us to learn and adopt for ourselves, to make sure we are seen, heard, noticed. Yet, if this is all really about just a sincere ache for love deep within us, then why is the external still so leaned on as something more important than the internal, which is really the only place where we can find the love we MOST need? This is an ongoing question that I hold for myself and the answers are always unfolding, sometimes into deeper process around the core wounding underneath it.

I feel that somewhere inside of each of us, there is likely a core wound that is similar to this one, where parts of us don’t feel qualified to receive love unless we have a certain amount of output and engagement happening outside of ourselves. There seem to be so many layers to this and it’s intense to feel through, but the other side of it ultimately means more love than we have imagined so far, all coming from a place within that cannot run dry.

This writing today is a form of output, yet coming from a place inside of me that needs to share and wants to share… that wants to serve the love that I’m being served too, to keep the flow going. I can see and feel the difference inside of myself now, more and more. In some ways, I can still feel how there is a layer here of ‘I want to write something so that I don’t get forgotten about’ and yet even sharing that feels important for me and for you. I get to see this reflection as I write and share and you get to see and feel into it for yourself too. Ultimately my intention is to help create a world with more open-hearted love flow. A universe with more transparent, vulnerable leadership that can feel itself while also feeling and guiding others from its own well-spring of self-love first. I want to co-create with you, a world where wounded layers like this can be brought out to receive the ointment they need, without them staying buried in a place deep inside where they can’t be touched and can’t be reached by the love that wants to reach them…

There is a lot to do, a lot to show up for, but ultimately there is – even more – to be and become… and the ultimate ‘becoming’ is LOVE…

***

Acknowledging, Feeling, Honouring And Healing Our Narcissism To Feel Real Compassion

Published on July 26, 2017September 30, 2017 by Kasha Rosa2 Comments

by Kalayna Colibri

Look-Within

There are phases of very necessary self-focus. It’s good to dedicate a lot of time to personal process that has to do with YOU as your number one priority. Some of us don’t do this enough, some of us do it too much, and the balance of giving and taking is somehow very challenging to find and live into. Eventually, these phases of needing to go inward have a healthy sense of self-focus that has more of a balance of where the focus goes and comes from a growing emotional and spiritual maturity as we heal and allow in mirrors that help us map out where to go next. This takes a dedication though and the process of it all has not been shown to most of us before, so there is a lot to discover and rediscover as we go, allowing ourselves to get messy and sometimes trip along the way as the best way to learn.

Within our birth families, many of us have been the ‘black sheep’. Parts of us never felt understood and found ways to rebel. This took an enormous amount of self-care and focus, the best parts of us could conjure at the time, and necessarily so – these self-made nests of bedrooms and cozy family basements became our stages for self-exploration. We needed our forays into writing, artistic explorations, fantasy worlds, and eventually spiritual seeking and finding. We needed these phases of pushing away from the collective, from birth family, maybe even from peers and the church and/or education systems, we were wrapped up in. Parts of us started to refuse to go deeper into it… or decided to go in as deeply as possible, following along with another flavour of rebellion that may have meant following the rules only to one day snap and burn it all away. This took whatever ounces of love we could muster and find in our inner and outer worlds, drawing friendships and romances that were (and are), in the end, reflections of how we ultimately felt (and feel) about ourselves.

In order to push away from what we could feel was very much NOT us, or not what parts of us wanted to be, we had to encase ourselves in some degree of HEALTHY narcissism. This encasement may even have stretched well into our adult years, or, we had parts of us that decided to suddenly flip a switch and go far into the other direction, feeling ourselves as deep empaths that can quite powerfully feel others. Even in this though, is a layer of narcissism. There is a layer here of blaming ‘other’ for how and what you feel. There is a fixation on how ‘you’ are being affected by something or someone or somewhere, without truly feeling how and why others may be affected and that you may or may not have a part to play in this too.

Feeling and realizing this shatters our mirrors held up by our own hand, that only show us our self-made goodness, yet not the deeper, more compassionate goodness within that has true innocence and purity of intention. Our narcissism in our years of needing to rebel, needing to find an ‘us’ that could hold life, needing to navigate a spiritual path that we hope will open out to serving others, has been mostly about us and not actually about serving the world or the people in it. This is HARD to look at and feel. This is probably one of the toughest reflections of ourselves and how we’ve operated in this world to take in. True compassion, in my experience, can’t really come unless we are willing to see this piece inside of our shadows. Feeling all of this also frees us from our victimhood that again parts of us have rightfully needed to hold onto… We cannot truly find our power within unless we are willing to go here.

In terms of our Ascension, it could be that this is one of the biggest pieces for us to look at and heal with deep sobriety and dedication. If there is no interest in doing so, there is something to look at with that too, as it’s natural for our deep knowledge of our goodness to not want to have to go here, yet our ‘goodness’ can be a story that parts of us tell, meanwhile they don’t deeply feel they ARE good, until they have been able to feel the reasons why this is… the reasons why they hold this wounding. There is so much unworthiness within that this process brings us to. There are many layers here and each one brings us closer and closer to our higher hearts, our genuine Christ Consciousness, where we can and do shed tears for others, for the world, and then can bring it back inward in a healthy way too, to digest it all in authentic Divine connection and love, and in genuine soul and heart connection with others too.

Being real about not being able to feel or even care for others in a given moment, actually helps parts of us relax and can bring us almost immediately to a more compassionate place within. It also claims our responsibility and our desire to heal this block to serving and giving love. We have not had adequate modeling of how to truly be compassionate in this world. So much of it has been put on for the sake of self-image, it feels like. This has not been ‘bad’ for us though, we are just entering a phase of being invited deeper into it, to question it and ourselves more, and to really heal what we need to in order to be in LOVE in the truest sense. We already have all of the goodness inside of us that we need so as to truly feel and love this aspect of us that again has served us so well for so many years.

There is so much love on the other side of this mirror. So much love that wants to reach you, to flow to and through you. Love that wants to show itself in all of your relationships, in whatever ways it can. It is a love that is ever-purifying and incredibly deep, if only we can start to let it in and allow it to do its work. ❤

***

Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Restless Energies Within And Moving Into New Timelines Physically, Emotionally, Spiritually

Published on July 24, 2017September 30, 2017 by Kasha Rosa2 Comments

by Kalayna Colibri

moving on

Forgotten, long-lost items are found once again. Finally coming around to cleaning those nooks and crannies where dust and old energies have gotten stuck. Moving on from one space and into another is a process for sure, one that happens with many emotional reactions as we let go of one phase and embrace another. There are physical body reactions too as we enter a new space where old energy needs to be cleared and we feel the clearing too of our ‘old’ space that once held our energy to the brim and beyond. It is a shakedown of sorts, loosening up and releasing something that no longer fits us on a deeper level, though in many cases parts of us may still have attachments to what we moving on from. Sometimes this ‘letting go’ is and needs to be an ongoing process for a while, or a process that ebbs and flows, may seem to be over, but eventually comes back around again. On a soul level, it is natural to want to move on from one place to another, especially as we discover and desire to be in more of our soul bigness, purpose, and power.

This journey of packing up, leaving behind, exploring the new, is something we’re all experiencing now in different waves and on different levels. Some of us are stepping into the new, having many reactions we can’t quite seem to sort through, and then retracting, trying to go back into an old space that has now expired for us in many ways. The picture that comes, is of a growing toddler trying to wear his or her baby clothes again because they were so comfortable once upon a time! This is such a tough process and letting go is never quite as easy as some make it sound, especially if you’ve signed up to truly feel yourself in every moment along the way.

These last two weeks have been full of movement for me personally and this movement process has taken place on a personal, soul, and even physical level. It has been a phase that started with saying ‘yes’ to several new possibilities, trusting that they would take me somewhere new and good, despite the challenge of inhabiting this. Sure enough too, after the ‘yes’ came reactions and a part of me wanting to contract and maybe collapse it all in a way, though she also felt how this would all open out eventually, even with her level of tension. This is a part of me I got to reunite with, actually, like something that got buried under the bed or dresser so long ago that you only find it when you’re moving somewhere new! She surfaced and I could feel her reactions with her and as the dust settles around the ‘new’ still, I am continuing to feel her around it all – her fears, her joys, and her vision of possibilities too. It has also been a couple weeks of letting go of certain connections with other people which is probably the hardest aspect of this phase to be with.

I feel as if we’re living in a restless, boisterous phase globally in the moment and it does feel challenging to find our stillness within while walking it all out. It is an exciting time while so much is being revealed to us and inside of that are also some hard-to-swallow truths. It is a time where we are being energized to really create the new as we go and not wait for permission from outside of us to take the steps we need to in order to really be in this. It is a time of trust in life, ourselves and the Divine, which is, of course, a process in and of itself while we learn what real trust even is… making it so important to take as much personal space as necessary, to breathe and digest and check-in with what we’re feeling on every level of our being.

If you’re feeling the energy of needing to create new timelines and being in your creativity in whatever capacity comes to you, you’re so not alone and the restlessness is actually there to serve you. It would be hard to not feel restless right now and it may come in waves for you, as it seems to be doing for me. We can all rest assured though, that we ARE being moved to something new that we are co-creating constantly, consciously and unconsciously, and this is becoming revealed to us more and more in each moment we say ‘yes’ and claim the next step.

***

Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

This Creative, Love-Flowing Time Of Day!

Published on July 21, 2017July 21, 2017 by Kasha RosaLeave a comment

by Kalayna Colibri

FLOW-Colors-Fibonacci

Early morning is my favourite ‘time’ of day… this time of creative flow even though I’m still sleepy and full of ‘work’ with my online job. My life is incredible, it really is. There were so many years when I couldn’t imagine that I would be living this way, yet I so wanted to. I couldn’t possibly have envisioned exactly how this would go or what this life lived in service of love would look and feel like. There was always a fantasy of living amongst others who shared my level of consciousness and challenged me to keep expanding it. Retreats and spiritual conferences were great but not enough – I needed and wanted to make spirituality my life.

This time of day (early morning) is also when my beloveds in my community of SoulFullHeart and I start dialoguing over Google Hangouts. We live in the same building, more or less, yet this is our way of staying in touch and also being in our own sacred spaces. The love exchange is there underneath all correspondence, even if reactions are being shared and processed or guidance is being held and given as to where we need to go next inside of ourselves and inside of our relationships to one another. It’s something I could try and describe to you, yet it’s just a unique experience that extends well beyond ideas of ‘unconditional’ love. We love each other deeply but are so willing to let go, let be, let arise, without unfair expectations, at least after this much time and process and this many phases together. We are a close-knit group but we have done a lot of personal work to have this level of intimacy. My place in this community has had its ups and downs and times of turning sideways too. Every single minute of tension and exhilaration has been so worth it though, to be able to transact love in this way, and to FEEL so much love for myself AND for them! There is nothing I can compare this to. It is the closest thing to ‘Golden Earth’ I have ever experienced in THIS life, where love is the container, the contender, the artist and the canvas too.

I’m being moved to share this experience in this moment, because of love overflow I feel from nourishing time with Jelelle yesterday, feeling the love and care from Raphael as he helps me clean, paint and fix-up my new suite I’m moving into soon (same building, just a bit bigger for my dog and I), and the ongoing love I feel between Gabriel and I, my best soul friend who I have been through so much with. I am brimming over with gratitude and love for them and for ME too… so much so that tears are coming. I have been intensely immersed in a new chapter for myself, training and doing practicums for a new online job that will pay better and have better hours than my current one. And it’s all happening in the name and flow of love and serving love too, as this means more money to share with my community and more space in my day to serve facilitants and also through my creativity, wherever it wants to take me.

It has taken a lot of process to really see, feel and let in what I have in SoulFullHeart – the work itself, my parts, the people, and most of all the LOVE. Gratitude and appreciation of been a long time coming, and this genuine, heartfelt flow of it that I can now feel is one that truly brings tears and the warmest feeling in my heart that I have ever experienced. It is a true feeling of being held by the Divine, by my own heart and self-love and also by the love I am IN with OTHERS. There is nothing that compares to commUNITY. At least nothing I’ve experienced or can speak from!

There is nothing I want more than to share this with more people. To have more of you jump in with us, though of course this is challenging… the hardest part is the awakenings within, the stirrings of arising process, realizations that you have much to heal as a human AND a soul and that it ALL changes you and your life in big ways, though the changes may feel subtle at first in some cases. Yet, it is so worth it and that worth and reward can only be experienced personally. ❤

We are holding another group call over Zoom (online) tomorrow at 11:11 am CST (Mexico City) if you’d like to join us. You’ll be able to immerse with us for 2 full hours and even be given the space to share if you wish. Silence is okay too. It’s a lot to take in. We are a lot to take in. This ‘new’ frequency of LOVE is a lot to take in! Here is the link to the event if you are interested in learning more: //www.facebook.com/events/271320303342295

***

Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Share this:

Share this:

Share this:

Share this:

Share this:

Share this:

Share this:

Share this:

Share this:

Share this: