Healing The Feelings Of Abandonment: SoulFullHeart Weekly Museletter (Sept 17, 2018)

It’s the release of our weekly Museletter! Offering ALL of our writings, videos, events, healing offerings, and audio blogs for the week. Go read it here!

This week’s Museletter features a piece by Jelelle Awen, where she shares about her personal connection with Star Family and the healing this has offered her. She invites you to feel the textures of your precious Star Seed aspect that has been needing this connection with Star Family and has many gifts to offer you with regard to your Ascension process:

“Our Star Seed aspect is an awakening inner child that can unanchor from 3D as their traumas are processed and a galactic awakening occurs….an innocence and purity lives in the heart of this part of us. They are so often in deep longing and loneliness to feel their star siblings again, to feel the wonder and magic of multidimensional and porous relationship to life that this galactic union offers. Processing undigested trauma/terror from what they felt as ‘abductions’, which were actually visits with star family, they can arise into becoming the magical fuel for our Merkabahs or light body vehicles.”

There is a new live stream event coming up tomorrow, September 22, with Raphael and Jelelle Awen. They will be digesting the Autumnal Equinox and the energies incoming through this event. They will also be offering a guided meditation for you to tune into as you tune into yourself. You can check out this live stream on Jelelle Awen’s Facebook feed at 11am CDT.

There are many writings and audio blog offerings this week from Jelelle, Raphael, Kalayna, Gabriel, and Raianna. They include energy updates, personal process sharings and realizations, and ways in which to see, feel and celebrate your personal process right now, as challenging as it may be lately.

Raphael, Jelelle and Gabriel offer 1:1 90min Bridging Sessions to help boost and digest your Ascension process and feel with you what your next steps are towards your highest timeline possibilities. These sessions are available for $77 USD min. donation per session. More information can be found here: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/bridging-session

We love to share our offerings with you and would enjoy receiving whatever heart donation in the form of money you feel that resonates with our offerings. You can go to our donation page for more info on how to donate: http://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/donations

Thank you so much for your interest in and support of SoulFullHeart Way of Life! If you’d like to receive these Museletters directly and automatically in your email every week, you can subscribe on our website at: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/writingmuseletters

Check out the latest Museletter here.

 

 

 

 

The Beauty That Is You

By Raianna Shai

As I watch the sunset tonight I reflect on all the beauty that surrounds me. The beauty that I alchemized for myself. The beauty that is reflected within me.

When we take in beauty like sunsets, we are really taking in ourselves. The beauty of ourselves. You can only let in the love that you have cultivated within. And from there, is where you give to others.

I came onto my yoga mat this evening feeling less than perfect. Less than worthy. I’ve always been very sensitive to how I am perceived and what others think of me. So one small thing can send parts of me spiralling into a suffering loop about not being good enough.

I checked in with this part of me while in puppy posture and asked why I felt this sadness every time something like that came up.

He told me “Because I know that if you feel sad or guilty enough, you’ll do everything in your power to prevent it from happening again. So we don’t have to feel the sadness. So no one can judge you. It’s for your protection.”

I felt to say back, “But why am I not perfect exactly where I am now? Why is this not good enough?”

I felt tears start to come as this part of me started to let in the reality that I was talking about him, too.

I transitioned into a new position so that I could take in the sunset amidst this process, and the tears started to flow.

Look at all of this beauty, I thought. The love in my life, the love in my soul, the love in the sky this very moment.

I know there is shadow within me. Darkness, sadness, anger, fear. But that’s all a part of the beauty.

We would have no sunsets without darkness. The colours would not stand out the way that they do.

And my darkness and shadow is not wrong, the way the night sky is not wrong. It is passion and power. It is the part of my essence that can provide me with discernment, boundaries and confidence. It is one of the strongest parts of me, especially when it can let in my love.

I make mistakes. I have the capacity to hurt. I can feel things I would never wish anyone to feel. But I am still worthy. These dark parts of me are still worthy. You and your parts are still worthy of all the love you can possibly imagine. Of every ounce of love you have to give.

It’s time now to go in, take responsibility for the shadow, feel any remorse that comes up, and then forgive. Forgive so that you can let in the beauty that is YOU.

A MANdate For New Earth Now

Last night my friend, heart shaman, and MANtor (mentor as a man) Raphael Awen and I enjoyed a night out together for the first time in a while. It was a time we intended to connect with each other in a deeper way beyond the ‘doings’ of our busy lives as we all engage in our next journeys separate, yet together in heart.

It is easy for parts of all of us to normalize relationship to some degree and not take a moment to just be in the goodness of what is, what was, and what we intend to be more of. This also feels to be a challenge for men especially. Taking sacred time with each other in honor and gratitude, or even much-needed truth-telling, wherever that truth is coming from or needs to lead.

Raphael and I took in the goodness of our surroundings, our own usness outside our personal romances with our beloved mates, and our history together as friends and co-conspirators of this starship we call SoulFullHeart. It was a tender moment to feel all that we have been through together in our history and especially here in Mexico. We could feel how unique our bond is as men and to feel how we have had the shades drawn a bit on our own desire for other men to be a part of a larger roundtable of heart and soul kings.

So we took the intentional space to let go of what was, honor it deeply, and open our hearts to more. More real, more galactic, more men, and more More, whatever that turns out to be. It was another layer of deep healing between two men that seek to offer it to other men in search of the same. It felt personal, global, and galactic. All that was missing was the cigarette. (Yup…I said that.)

Raphael and I both open our heart and soul journeys to men and women alike who feel resonate (and even those who may not fully) to explore their own inner world, this one and beyond. To take steps to heal and inhabit the practical, emotional, and spiritual steps to enter into a new relationship with self, other, and the universe at large. To open up your own personal disclosure project, click on the link below for more information.

Thank you for being a part of our living room. We look forward to more connection with you.

Gabriel Heartman and Raphael Awen
soulfullheartwayoflife.com/bridging-session

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our website to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife/donations.

Fogginess Continues, With Clarity On The Horizon

by Kalayna Colibri

Today has been another day of fogginess inside, ups and downs in undulating waves, all amid feelings of movement that are leading to a greater sense of clarity and growth. It’s been a day too of feeling and letting in love and goodness… within myself, with my beloved mate Gabriel, and with our dear friend and teacher too, Raphael.

I wasn’t sure if I wanted or was ready to write anything today, but why not? Why not share a bit, just to be real and transparent, because I know and feel in my heart that I am not the only one moving through something intense and into more and more unknowns about who I am, even while I trust that pieces are falling into place too… this trust always seems to be there, even when I can’t consciously feel it!

These processes as they arise are visceral, emotional, powerful… not mental. Digesting it with my beloveds as it unfolds is huge and helpful, especially as another wave of intensity crests over the bough of my pitching and tossing ship. I couldn’t begin to name the intensity, but I can describe it as bliss-mess love and self-realization, supported by the goodness of my relationships and the goodness within that I’ve been healing towards for years now. It’s an overhauling of previous identifiers and a grounding into primal pain as a human being on this planet too.

Woah, right? This is deep stuff… and we’re all invited to move through whatever we need to with these themes and more.

I have had many waves of humbling processes over the years. These processes, these times of focusing inward to flow back outward again, always bring me to a new place of humility and learning about who I am and who I want to be… without any pretense or putting anything on. In fact, it’s actually been a process of taking more and more OFF, to get to the vulnerable underbelly of what’s been going on on the surface, to heal from that place and transform into something brand new.

I’m getting ready, as are all of you, to become something brand NEW.

These energies right now are offering us all much support as we reach a new stratum of Ascension on a personal and collective level. These phases of 4D darkness and purgings are necessary until they aren’t, until what has needed to be realized and felt has been. These times of fog ARE leading to clearer skies, as this is inevitable, even though parts of us may feel an existential terror or as if they are dying. This is the death and rebirth process that the Divine Mother and Father facilitate and hold space for as we continue our journeys back to full-time oneness and love-bliss consciousness, remembering all there is to remember about that too.

You and I and parts of us are not, in fact, dying… they and we are learning to live again, breathe new air again, emerge on deeper layers still from the invasive conditioning of 3D separation consciousness, the ways our parts have had to adapt and cope with that, and the pain of not being with Star Family 24/7. They never did go anywhere, yet we are energetically and heartfully finding our way back to them, and there is a lot to feel in the process of that, it seems.

Much love from the heart and soul of my process to yours. We are not alone, nor will we ever be… 

~

If you’re in the middle of much process yourself, my beloveds offer exquisite, heartful, and powerful spaceholding where you can land it all and be felt deeply: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/bridging-session

***

Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart co-founder, soul scribe, and poetess. Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Invitation From Divine Mother: Breathe Into The Process As Clarities Unfold

by Kalayna Colibri

“Stay with your heart in this powerful time. Allow in patience as the next clarity unfolds.”

I hear and feel this message from Divine Mother today, after a day of intense process waves yesterday that ebbed in the late afternoon. Lately, process seems to be coming up for me through what can feel like an intense inner fog and a strong desire for more clarity to happen ‘right now’, in this or that very moment… impatience abounds in moments as I feel the changes moving in and through my life, changes that are desired but also bringing me and my beloveds into the next unknown, which isn’t all that comfortable for parts of us sometimes.

I feel how this is likely a bit of a foggy time for the collective too. As more gets unearthed individually and collectively and disclosure happens in small or even large doses on all fronts, it can be challenging to see clearly what exactly the next steps are, outward or inward, or the reasons for it all to be coming up in the first place. The easy answer is that it needs to come up, no matter how messy things may get, but that’s not the answer parts of us really want to hear.

To have patience now and be ready to set boundaries or take space as needed, and to find your courage to enter into your next phase of growth and healing, is the invitation now. Trusting that everything you’re walking (or stumbling) out right now is leading somewhere. Sometimes you have to enter and re-enter your own inner woods before you can come out the other side with new clarity and an even more blissful sense of love and worth.

I know how hard it can be… how hard we all struggle sometimes to just get through the shame spirals, the feelings of not having a purpose, the feelings of, quite frankly, being ‘f*cked’ existentially and in our daily lives too. God, to even say out loud that this is all very sacred, even this intensity, is a lot to claim in moments. If even one small inch of your heart space can let this in, you’re finding your way back to grace and letting in the love that wants to support you through this so you can find out more of your personal love expression in this world.

Jelelle Awen has created many different guided meditations for you to lean into if you need a dose of Divine and self-love. I highly recommend checking out the SoulFullHeart YouTube channel, SoulFullHeart Experience, to find these and plenty of writings that can help bridge you back to your own sense of power and clarity and connection to the love that you are.

Much, much love to you as you keep courageously feeling and navigating the pain and fog that comes up from just BEing in this world sometimes. The Divine in all forms and faces, including your own, hears you, feels you, and honours the depths you’re willing to go to in each powerful moment of your choosing. 

~

My beloveds offer space holding sessions if you need something, someone, to lean into now or any time:www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/bridging-session 

***

Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart co-founder, soul scribe, and poetess. Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

 

Owning And Transmuting The Prison That Lies Within

When one has been denied freedom, whether in the form of prison or being captured, for a very long time, there is something that happens in the mind and heart of said soul. It is like a form of The Stockholm Syndrome where you have identified with the captor/imprisoner in the name of survival. Only, in this case, the bars are no longer in front of you but they continue to exist energetically anyway. They were all that was ever known.

I have been digesting this inside of myself the last couple of days, where I can feel aspects of me that have been used to a particular consciousness, or way of relating to the world both inner and outer. There are goggles that are placed on them that were not put on them against their will, but so that they could ‘deal’ with the very real reality of True Freedom that stands right in front of them. They are not oblivious to this reality. It has been a necessary part of a healing process.

If there is no matrix, or if there was never one to begin with, we are left to address our own ownership of that which we feel like is imprisoning us. We are left to reconcile that we are the captor and the captured both. We are highly efficient and powerful creators that can manifest more than we are able to let in so we can use the power of our projection to devise all sorts of excuses that can buffer us from that reality, that I hold as my personal truth.

As the dawn of the New Era is shining is a powerful Divine light upon us, the shadow of those prison bars is becoming increasingly clear. The truth behind their existence needs to be taken responsibility for or else they will continue to stand right where they are at. I hold that these limitations, these projections, these fears have all been necessary but no longer serviceable. They are held inside by parts of you that have a long and varied history with both persecution and being persecuted. Captor and being captured. Find, feel, and release the chains of these heart and soul beings so that they can be transmuted into the grandeur of love they truly ARE.

******

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our website to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife/donations.

Collapsing The Internal Tug Of War: SoulFullHeart Weekly Museletter (Sept 10, 2018)

It’s the release of our weekly Museletter! Offering ALL of our writings, videos, events, healing offerings, and audio blogs for the week. Go read it here!

“Is it at all a possibility that an anxious feeling or thought about the future is actually more to do with a fear of letting go of something familiar in the present, a kind of projection onto the future?” ~ Raphael Awen, ‘Collapsing The Internal Tug Of War’

Launching this week’s Museletter is a piece by Raphael Awen, inviting you to feel any fears, anxiety, or push-pull you may have coming up around changes happening in your life, as parts of you whose realities are valuable and important to feel. He poignantly offers:

“When we go in to simply feel each part’s reality, without trying to fix anything, we feel the part that wants to stay in one place forever and we feel the part who has already long left the building. When these parts of us feel the feelings of what it feels like to be felt by us, their reality and energy simply shifts. The internal tug of war collapses, and life and love are free to flow again.”

Raphael and Jelelle Awen offered another Ascension live stream and Q&A this week, for which the recording is available for you to take in. They offered their perspectives on the Ascension process, emotional body/soul healing through parts work, and working with Metasoul aspects from other timelines. They also co-led a guided meditation to connect with high vibe energies and your Inner Protector at around 40 minutes in.

There are many new writings and recordings offered this week by Raphael and Jelelle along with Gabriel Heartman and Kalayna Colibri. Feel their perspectives on different energies coming in now and ongoingly and ways to feel the new possibilities for your personal healing and Ascension process.

Raphael, Jelelle and Gabriel offer 1:1 90min Bridging Sessions to help boost and digest your Ascension process and feel with you what your next steps are towards your highest timeline possibilities. These sessions are available for $77 USD min. donation per session. More information can be found here: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/bridging-session

We love to share our offerings with you and would enjoy receiving whatever heart donation in the form of money you feel that resonates with our offerings. You can go to our donation page for more info on how to donate: http://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/donations

Thank you so much for your interest in and support of SoulFullHeart Way of Life! If you’d like to receive these Museletters directly and automatically in your email every week, you can subscribe on our website at: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/writingmuseletters

Check out the latest Museletter here.

The Hearth Of My Opening Heart: A Poem

by Kalayna Colibri

c: September 2016

Tremors move from your heart space to mine.
An overflow. A love place.
A warm hut with a burning fire.
I seek to understand what I cannot yet,
what I may not ever,
what I may know in spite of myself.
There is a garden behind the heart door.
A secret wooden manifestation of many years of collapsing memories and ever-arising lessons.
Love waits for me there,
with more surprises,
with tourniquets,
with salves,
with the ointment of new life and renewal of my essence’s light.

As the door creaks open wide,
I feel the dust fall from my shoulders, into my healing palms Where I can see it.
Where I can feel it.
Where I can touch its textures and hold it close
As it cries full tears of rippling red shadow pulses and black and blue figures dusty in their own rite
Peeling off the once invisible armors they treasured for so long.

Disarmed yet newly anchored in the safety of my own now opening heart
I rest amongst the silk cushions and wait by the roar of the fireplace
Until you come knocking.

After filling your pockets with your own dusty past and present
And rimming your heart with the sugar-coated candy of a caramel-filled chocolate,
Bringing your sticky-sweetness out to be tasted,
I will meet you here, my love.

In brightness and darkness, with sweets and savories I will wait.
I will work.
I will pry my heart open first for me,
Then for you,
And together we will find the fumbling and not-knowing
To be the greatest fun we ever had
And the biggest challenge we have ever faced,
And the greatest dragon we have ever owned on our own, Together, and with the Divine.

***

Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart co-founder, soul scribe, and poetess. Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Journal With Nine: Healing The Symbol Projection

I felt inspired to have another go at conversing with the number 9 this morning. I felt a personal connection to its message and felt there was more to feel into with it. There was such an interesting response to it that I wasn’t totally expecting. I have not had a real deep relationship to numbers in my past and I haven’t taken to doing much ‘research’ on the matter. In a way, it keeps it pure and just arises from whatever comes from my heart. I encourage anyone who has a more intimate connection with numbers to do this very same thing and see what arises.

On that note I will check in with Nine and see how it is feeling today and where we might go:

Good morning Nine. Do you prefer the word or the number?

9: That is an interesting question. I guess it all depends on which perspective you want to come from. A more literary and poetic heart space or a more mathematical, paternal place.

Hmmmm….so you have a masculine and a feminine?

9: Well, don’t you?

Yeah, I do. I guess I never really thought of it in regards to a number, but when you put it that way it totally makes sense.

9: It also doesn’t have to make sense either. It is a question that leads us on a quest, just like Raphael always says.

Yeah, I like that. So we are questing. Getting to feel and understand each other and how we relate to each other through this dialogue.

9: Sure. Why not? You gotta hot date with Kalayna?

Well, every moment is a hot date with Kalayna. She is into this too so it is all a part the dance.

9: Yes, a dance. (Good answer with the hot date thing… 😉 That is what this exploration is. You and I are both a consciousness. I get my awareness and aliveness through you and I thus affect you. We can spend a lot of time exploring the technical nature of my numerology and that has its value and purpose, but taking that understanding and diving a bit deeper into how I, as a number, have an effect on a particular heart is a feminine approach.

I was feeling that distinctly yesterday in our conversation. I could feel a part of me wondering if I needed to do some research into what you ‘mean’ and yet I got a whole lot of meaning out of our encounter yesterday. I could feel how others who responded had their own intimate relationship with you that spanned a spectrum of reaction.

9: I do seem to have that effect on people. I am a very intense yet magical number if I do say so myself. I have a lot of stuff going on! Mathematically speaking I have a lot of parts! I house a lot of powerful energy and that be like riding a bucking bronco. So I understand the intense reactions that others have about me showing up in their lives. Or even being identified as me.

Yeah, I wanted to ask you about that. How do you feel about that?

9: Well, of course, there is an honor in it. But there is a lot of projection and over-identification that can arise. There is something that is meant to be understood about the nature of being drawn to a number but it doesn’t mean that one is meant to be determined by it. I only hold the power that one gives to me. If I represent chaos and that is all that one chooses to relate to me as then there is no room for what else I stand for which is the process of moving beyond into the new. This is where the feminine side of feeling wants to come in and hold space for the fear that is backed up in my name. I don’t want to be a reason why people are suffering. That is not what I am about.

Wow. I feel some of your own backed up truth in there Nine.

9: Yeah, I can feel that too, Gabriel. I can feel that for any idea/concept be it numerological, astrological, angelic, etc. We get all bound up in this intense energy that is not the nature of what we are meant to represent. We are change and stability both. Never meant to stay in a rut. I got this yesterday from you when you mentioned my curiosity of what it is like to be 10. I am not a victim to my location on a number line. I am more than that. I am energy. I am a symbol that is not set in stone. I can shift. Hell, turn me upside down and I am a six! How is that for multidimensionality? Thanks for letting me feel that Gabriel. I feel how I may have been holding a lot more than my share of this dynamic. An inner need of mine to be seen as valuable and wanted. I want to feel that in and of myself. And my parts. All 9 of them! Hmmm…9 lives.

I had no idea that we going here today Nine. I still have so many other curiosities about you and maybe we just needed the space to feel into this together.

9: I feel open to where this is meant to go Gabriel. I feel a big release here and that helps me to feel more of my own value as a number in relation to the human heart. Whew!. This is powerful work you are doing, my friend. I think it is time to let this breath and we can catch up tomorrow if that arises. I can feel how all these symbols could use a good cleanse, Gabriel. This could be your thing!

That would be interesting. Not sure I can make a living on holding space for symbols but I am open to what it offers us. You are magical being and I am blessed to have stumbled onto this with you. All in Divine Nining.

9: Hmmm….not sure about that one there, Gabriel. I like the effort, however. Before we leave I did want others to know that having their own personal connection with me would be very healing. I am open to connecting with them through their own hearts and computers. I am good with pen and paper too. Brings me back to the old days.

Ah, that feels like a great invitation Nine. Thank you. I look forward to what arises next in the space between us. We have a whole month in your honor!

9: Oooff! That is a lot of change coming our way. Okay! We got this!

*******

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our website to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife/donations.

9/10 Energies Invite Moving On, Seeing Next Process Steps

By Kalayna Colibri

Today 9 turns into 10… it feels like a double-helix of new beginnings and taking everything you’ve learned and moved through to the next level while the old continues to move. This means applying all that you are now in all of the relationships you have… which could mean completing some, while deepening or even just beginning others.

I feel in myself a new beginning arising inside from much work and dedication to going inward, looking in the books and crannies and rather dark places. This work isn’t over and actually, I don’t want it to be. Yet I’ll take this new platform, this emerging foundation and these brand new wings out for a spin and feel all there is to feel in the process of that.

This is something I feel for many right now. You could be coming out of a deep emotional or physical process or both… I’ve always found that the two are inevitably linked. You could be popping through another ceiling of awakening and trying to integrate what you’ve been realizing and noticing about yourself, your soul, the world, your Star family, etc.

There’s a ton of support coming in, always, to help us feel all of this and more. The way you can let in this support is by feeling the parts of you in resistance to it. Resistance to love can be subtle. We all have resistance in some form or other, yet it’s how we relate to and feel that resistance that matters and has the most opportunity for growth, maturity, and letting in more love.

What reflections is life offering you now of where you’re on deck to go next in your personal process? We need these reflections to see what’s going on with us, as it’s not possible to see everything, every cluttered corner of your heart and soul, completely on your own. Life is a hall of mirrors, always.

As we move into this 9-10 day, let’s remember that we are ALL working to love our shadows and hidden places, feel what needs love inside of us, and that we are also always given a ton of love to help us see and be with this process. Nobody is exempt from this, yet we all get to choose how and if we accept the invitation to dive deeper and fly higher.

It’s your graduation day… just as every day could be. A graduation into your next phase of becoming more love and serving love too!

Much love! 💜

~

My beloveds, Raphael, Gabriel and Jelelle are all very gifted space holders with magnificent hearts that are ready to offer deep support and illumination in collaboration with you, your parts, your own heart and soul. For more information, visit this page: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/bridging-session ❤️

***

Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart co-founder, soul scribe, and poetess. Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.