Tag: Love

The Insatiable Appetite For More Love

Published on by Kasha Rosa3 Comments

by Kalayna Colibri

 

heart-wings

 

The heart of a little girl, turns toward her mother and asks, “How do I get your love?”

The heart of a young woman in a new relationship, turns toward her partner and asks, “How do I keep your love?”

The heart of a young nun in her morning prayers asks, “How do I earn your love?”

The awakening heart turns to Love itself and asks, “How do I remember you, Love?”

These journeys begin with feeling as if Love is elusive, a butterfly to capture and keep, a path to master, something to make, do, take, have, possess…

These journeys continue with receiving ‘answers’ from outside, with only letting in that which can be seen or learned, until one day, the love that you simply ARE reminds you from inside of you that it was always there…

Abuses of all kinds create a struggle inside, bruised heart walls, parts that hate ourselves, push away others, trauma and drama attraction, resistance to Love and all of its tones and frequencies both challenging and comforting. To be in the heat of Love’s reawakening is to feel what’s blocking it, to feel the need for more of it, to realize the areas of life where it’s not flowing, to ask the questing questions that lead us to clarities of this step followed by that one… if you are used to crumbs, crumbs is all you’ll expect, but once you’ve allowed in a taste of the real thing, the real thing is all that can suffice and yet ironically is what stimulates the appetite for MORE.

Be insatiable. Every pore of your body, every cord of your heart song, every tone of your multi-dimensionality wants to want more, wants to BE more. The having and receiving of more comes from making room, from flowing over with love withIN, from letting it flow to others FROM you and WITH you, from feeling the parts of you that won’t let it, don’t want to trust it, have been burned, hurt, wounded by ‘love’ before, that can’t see or feel or let in just yet that within their hurt and pain lies a pearl – an exquisite gift – of experience, wisdom, heart-opening mess and the capacity to pick up the pieces and keep going on and IN as you grow and bloom and shine ever brighter. Hunger for the growth that allows in more love. Let yourself ask those questions you need to ask parts of you and soul aspects of you. And bring it all back to your appetite for more love to let in and crave for.

To live life this way turns everything on its head! It brings in a whole new way of digesting all experiences, all challenges, all processes. It gives you a home frequency to tune into during emotional phases of deeply feeling your wounding. It motivates you to keep going in and through and guides you in the same.

It’s time to remember… and it’s up to you if you decide to now or later, yet it doesn’t matter, because you will never be less love or loved than you already are in this moment. ❤

—

In SoulFullHeart, the process is always about leaning back into love in the end, though the journey to do this is complicated and challenging at times. Digesting pain with a heart-open other who can reflect to you what you need to keep feeling in order to heal it, is simply what works. If you’re interested in feeling into having sessions with a SoulFullHeart facilitator, please visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions for more information. ❤

***

Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, writer, and poetess. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

 

For Raphael Awen: Happy Birthday! Thank You For YOUR Love…

Published on by Kasha Rosa1 Comment

by Kalayna Colibri

R bday collage 2017

 

Every young part of my heart

ached for the love of a man like you.

A man in quasi-father-figure-ness

also unafraid of his sexuality

and his shadow

who could “see” me/us

with no lecherous intent

however buried.

 

Your love

is like water…

for my rose garden

of young femininity

that is somehow

ancient too.

 

Your capacity

to hold and BE so much

PURE love

comes from so much

work

inner healing

courageous choices

and the deepest feeling spaces

that only a true King

can feel and inhabit

and live in…

 

You pick up where fathers

and mates

have left off

and help me

pick up the pieces

and parts

that have needed love like yours.

 

When my heart says ‘thank you’

to you today,

it knows

I couldn’t be healing all of this

without YOU,

with the YOU that you have cultivated

the YOU that loves so deep

and cares so much.

 

Thank you for being

the jarring voice

of deep masculine love.

 

Thank you for being

the father-surrogate

my youth has needed

in all loves frequencies you carry.

 

Thank you for showing

and demonstrating

how a healing

loving woman

should ask

and wait

and hold out for

the most exquisite overflow

of love

from a mate.

 

And thank you…

most of all…

for being unabashedly YOU,

whatever that means in moments

and however that changes with process

and shifting desire-choices…

 

HAPPY BIRTHDAY RAPHAEL! ❤

 

 

When Love Comes Knocking

Published on by Gabriel HeartmanLeave a comment

151

It is HERE.  It is NOW.  The offer and invitation to fully embody all that we chose to embody.  There is no limitation other than the one that we have decided to subscribe to.  There are no obstacles other than the ones we put in our own way.  The ones that we have INside that are reflected on the OUTside.  It is a tough pill to swallow that we have all the power in the world to create the world that mirrors us.  It is so easy to merge with the feeling of powerlessness as that has been the pervasive force in this third dimensional playground.  It is us hiding from our own true power that creates this Land of Confusion.

When you choose a path of healing in earnest, you are asking the universe on a quantum level.  Not just in some ¨give me some peace and tranquility¨ sort of way.  That is what a part of you may want.  Usually the part of you that has been working damn hard to keep you from getting into too much healing.  The kind that turns worlds upside down and inside out.  But just enough to be in a sweet spot of enjoyment and fulfillment.  And that is certainly good medicine and sacred healing……until….something comes knocking on your door that wants to challenge that comfort zone.  In almost every case it is Love that came to remind you that you signed up for something different.

¨Oh,  hello, Love.  Nice to see you again.  Did I mention that things are good now and I don’t think I will be needing your services anymore?¨

¨Hmmm….really?  Okay, well it is hard to separate yourself from your essence, which is me, but I get why you may need some time to let me in a bit more.  I’ll just be waiting in the car.  Don’t mind me if I come back.  Just sort of my job to remind you once in a while.¨

¨That feels a bit pushy.¨

¨I get that.  It is hard to let in that you were meant for love and that you are love, even if it shakes things up a bit.  I have compassion for that. That is why I love you.  But I am also persistent because you ARE me and I am YOU and we were meant to find each other.  It is all up to you on the timing.  But before I go back to the car, can I ask you one question?

¨Hmm..okay.¨

¨Can you ask the heart you are protecting how THEY actually feel?¨

¨I don’t know who you are talking about.¨

¨Hmmm…okay.  I think you do but I can wait.  I’ll be back later to check in with you. I’ll just be sipping my green tea.  Good for heart you know.¨

¨Yeah…that is what I have heard.  I appreciate your visit but I am good thanks.¨

¨Sure..,see you soon.¨

Love doesn’t want us to suffer or remain in a status quo.  It want us to feel our deepest desires and respond to what arises, even if it pushes on some long standing sore spots.  The ones that rightfully created a wall to protect the wound.  They are sacred walls and served a purpose.  As Love’s frequencies are being dialed UP,  its wind starts to buffet these walls and the soldiers at the gates get at the ready.  It is a sign of the power that is HERE and NOW.  Not an enemy to be thwarted but the truest Joy and Passion that we have kept locked up in the vault of our wounded heart.

It is through feeling the part(s) of us that have felt the need to protect us from this ¨INvasion¨.  This unstoppable force of our highest expression and desire as sacred human hearts and souls.  These parts of us are dear to us and have served us well and can guide us on our further journey into the heart of Love.  The one we signed up for ¨so long ago¨ and yet have been experienced into forgetting.  If you are feeling a rumble in your life that is causing you to feel some anxiety or defense this could very well be Love coming to knock on your door.  It tends to come at the most auspicious of times and in the most unlikely of ways.  At least to the conscious self.  Your Higher Self sits back and just keeps on doing what you have asked it to do, even despite the protest and fear.

SoulFullHeart offers a way to go into this rumble and support you to feel it one negotiated step at a time.  We have been through many of these rumblings and even experience them today, and use the container of parts work and space-holding as the way to open up to our next vistas of purpose and letting in more love.  To learn more about this process you can visit here.

Answering the door is the first step.  Letting love into your house is what you came here to experience….after you have some green tea of course.

 

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual teacher, men’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Rediscovering That Creative Heart In Us, Beyond Self Punishment

Published on by Kasha Rosa1 Comment

by Kalayna Colibri

kid_dancing_rain

When I was a teenager, creative outlets ‘saved’ me in a way… especially exploring my creativity in private, or at least as private of a setting as I could find. I was doing regular dance classes and you would think that was helpful too, yet there was something about being in a ‘class’ setting such as this, that stoked the fires of comparison to others for parts of me that I couldn’t feel directly. Perhaps if I could have, I wouldn’t have kept doing these classes, but it’s hard to say. They were helpful for many reasons and yet, they were painful too. It was more often the dancing, singing, performing that I did for invisible audiences (likely higher selves of soul family and maybe star being family and guides too at the time!) who would inevitably adore me and enjoy my performances with no cloaked judgments or making parts of me feel self-conscious, that I thoroughly enjoyed. These parts of me so needed this, growing up in this 3D reality where we are taught to judge others and ourselves for just about everything so soon in our lives, and always, it feels like, because our caregivers and teachers are overflowing with this judgement toward themselves first.

These times in my parents’ basement were so sacred… I even remember buying a headset mic that was meant for a computer, so I could wear it like a pop star! Sometimes I sang, sometimes I lip-synched instead. But it was ALL fun and most of the time, I somehow managed to free myself from self-judgment frequencies because from me to me, I had space to enjoy being with ME.

There’s something about our ways of expressing ourselves creatively that pings for me now, especially as just an hour ago I was singing my heart out a bit, for the first time in a LONG time and I have to say it felt really, REALLY good… my heart wanted to sing out in expression and love. Reconnecting with music that I used to listen and sing to many years ago. I could feel part of me feeling self-conscious, wondering if the whole complex that I live in could hear me singing… and worse yet, that they would think I was awful. And then, I also felt how in these precious moments I didn’t actually care if they did and if they judged. So both were true for me and that’s okay. It felt important to give myself permission to just BE in the music, let something roll out of my heart, have some FUN too. Give myself permission to NOT be perfect or seek perfection in any way. Just sing OUT. I feel there is so something in this for all of us, perhaps especially in this process of ascension that’s happening so quickly for so many of us and can have such intense phases physically, emotionally, spiritually, etc. Where did our creativity go that could carry us through and that was given to us to help life feel like MAGIC again and stoke our imaginations so we can blaze like the LOVE stars we truly are?

As our inner-punishment heals, especially through this work we call SoulFullHeart where we work with and deeply feel the parts of us who hold these frequencies, we can begin to be more in our creative magic again. This feels so important to me, because we ARE creating in every single moment as we really can’t help but do and BE this as human beings! We are creation constantly creating… we shift these frequencies of what this creativity draws when we reclaim our power and see what we’ve been drawing instead of what we actually want.

And so, I know that I hope this is only the beginning of me exploring art forms that once brought my heart out to play, though of course writing like this does that too! We are so meant to sing, to throw our heartbeams outward through dance and movement too, to let our lungs fully expel the old air and invite in the NEW. And to encourage everyone to do the same… without polish or perfection but just our human ISness that wants and aches to come out and play again, create and recreate a magical life again, love ourselves everything about us again and again and again…

❤

 

***

Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, writer, and poetess. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

 

The Beauty Of Our Messes: Living Life From The Heart

Published on by Kasha RosaLeave a comment

by Kalayna Colibri

dirtyheart1

Gosh, claiming someone or something can feel like a big leap of faith. It is an agreement to fall in love. It can get to a point where even claiming the next step of the staircase can feel like a lot, like you and your parts know somehow that life as you’ve/they’ve known it is about to change. Some of us are more cautious than others. Some of us dive in head, heart or soul first, no matter the circumstance. There could be a balance here, and yet the whole point, it feels like, is to allow yourself to be ‘out’ of balance. To let something or someone new that’s arising in your life tip you completely sideways and add some new wonder to every fiber of your existence, known or unknown. Parts of us have all sorts of reactions to this and it’s important to feel every one as it arises, paving nothing over, and yet the messiness of it all, even feeling in hindsight what was buried, IS the point! Sometimes our growth edges cannot be planned or deliberately planted, yet stumbled upon. And sometimes this is the only way to find them.

As children, getting messy was easy! It was the way we learned to communicate, the way we learned to play, the way we learned how to BE with others and also with things. We shed tears over broken bones and toys and friendship bonds. Sadly too we also learned how to punish ourselves from the inside and as we learned what was ‘wrong’ and what was ‘right’ we also learned how to judge others for whether or not they followed the ‘rules’ as we learned them. Parts of us or subpersonalities began to form around these traumas, identities and ways of ‘seeing’ ourselves started to develop. We stopped being willing to get messy, sooner or later, for the consequences, which no one could feel us in at the time or offer us heart-centered guidance through, soon became things to avoid, avoid, avoid… it feels like this is when we learned how to stop falling in love, falling on our faces or bums or even our hearts when necessary, whether over a person or a butterfly or puppy, or a flower we just really wanted to run to in order to take it in deeper! We wanted to play, we wanted to learn how to fly, we wanted to experience the whole world with every sense alive in us. AND none of us were born judges or critics or even fanatics… we just WERE.

Our worlds of discovery, uncovering all we wanted to, became answered by knowledge. So many of us eventually began a path of seeking and spirituality in order to find magic in life again, and yet even this has become a place of only seeking knowledge and not actual experience. Not the same experience that falling into and sometimes on top of your heart can offer. It’s not the same as the inherent sense of spirituality we were BORN with, that got snuffed out because we had to go through phases of this. It’s been a tough road of remembrance and so it continues to be sometimes, but this innocence, this heart-centered love of everything, is still there. The healing, the difficulties, the FEELING is all worth it to find this place inside the inside of us again. We are constantly being invited back inward, back to that place where the magic has always been. We can’t return fully to that place where we were as kids, and yet we wouldn’t want to, for all that we’ve gleaned from our life experience has been a gift that’s meant to integrate with this child within, hold it and treasure it too. As we claim each piece of who we are, who we want to be, who we want to be WITH, we find our way back to the pure love we came from, bringing our full treasure chest with us that we always wanted to find as children but needed life to bring it to us.

A childlike claim of the love of discovery, of life, of love itself… the claim of another in romance, the claim of ourselves in pursuit of our deepest healing and experience of self love and reverence and worth… this is all within us and the more we allow in the possibilities of mess but still go IN, the more we seem to grow and the greater our depths of soul and heart seem to BE.

With each firewalk we endure, we find our power again, and realize we never lost it but it was our power that chose it in the first place. With each step into the wilderness, we find that getting lost only means being found in a new way. With each garden bed we till, we make friends with the bugs and learn to love the dirt under our fingernails. And with each fresh beat of our excited hearts, we learn yet again, that even the roughest seas bring us back to the shores of love and the light we’ve always had within. ❤

 

***

Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, writer, and poetess. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

 

For Jelelle’s Birthday: To Jelelle Awen, As We Celebrate YOUR Day!

Published on by Kasha Rosa2 Comments

by Kalayna Colibri

bday collage for Jelelle 2017

For all that you hold and have held…

Thank you.

For all that you’ve been through, moved through, found your way to the other side through…

Thank you.

For your courage to be human AND spread your wings too…

Thank you.

For the beauty you are, that you have and that you add in every moment to this world…

Thank you.

For the realness and reality of your truest being, the messy, the light, the shadowy depths and the highest reaches of hallowed sweetness…

Thank you.

For your depths of creativity, your sacred feminine alchemy, your vulnerable, mesmerizing leadership…

Thank you.

For all those times of bringing me back in, bringing me your truth, opening your heart to more love and holding difficult though necessary boundaries that have helped both you and I grow SO much…

Thank you.

For your constant templating, your reminders of how to love and advocate for yourself…

Thank you.

For ALL of the double vision led NEWnesses of incoming rumbles that lead to sweeter lands and waters for true soul and heart substance and sustenance…

Thank you.

For all of the hugs, the reflections, the sessions, the guidance, the LOVE…

Thank you.

I feel as if I couldn’t thank you enough for all that your heart and soul have been and signed up for and walked through with me, with us, and on your own too. There’s no word beyond “thank you” in our spoken language, yet LOVE seems to be the one that surpasses it all…

So in love, with love, for love and by love… I LOVE you and LOVE that we get to share LOVE and grow in LOVE together.

Happy day of your human birth into this lifetime and this dimension, Soul, Heart and Energy BEing, Jelelle Awen! ❤

Feeling Rumbles Within: A Conversation With ‘Love’

Published on by Kasha RosaLeave a comment

by Kalayna Colibri

love phone

 

I once decided to have a dialogue with “Love” itself about a year ago now. You can read this dialogue here.  I felt to hold another dialogue with Love now, in the moment. Love is a fun energy to have a relationship with even as we just ARE it too. With this dialogue, I feel Love itself inviting you into dialogue too… it always has much to illuminate and offer us, directly, romantically, challengingly, yet always lovingly somehow as we continue to let it in deeper through personal process and really feel the rumbles and yet comfort it offers too. ❤

Kalayna: Hi Love…

Love: Hi Kalayna! Been rumbling with me a bit today, I can feel that.

K: Yes, Love, I have. Well, part of me has. A part of me that I need to keep feeling for a while as she heals.

❤ : What did that rumbling feel like in the moment you felt her (this part of you)?

K: I felt a strong urge to put the pain outside of me, to lash out, to pretend that the reactions coming up inside of me were someone else’s doing and not showing me something about ME… or in this case, showing this part TO me.

❤ : Yes, I felt this rumble inside of you. It has taken a while, but you’re getting to know this signal to go IN even if ‘lashing out’ would somehow off-gas the energy though not heal it…

K: Yes, this is something I’m starting to really recognize in the moment it happens. It feels like a desire to contend but I’ve learned now that this is often about a part avoiding leaning into me and instead flooding my space with its reaction, instead of asking for me to be with it and help it.

❤ : Can you feel anything else about this that you may want to share with others as they also grow emotionally and feel me rumble their inner worlds?

K: Well, this is where I get confused sometimes and maybe this part I’ve been feeling feels this confusion too. There IS a time for conflict and contention, no? I mean I’ve witnessed it and been a part of it too. I’ve felt the deeper feelings that can come of the mess, as the smoke clears and the mirror is offered by the whole situation, that really just lands you back into YOU again. I just wonder if there’s a difference between the contention part of me was looking for today in the moment (that I didn’t let her go to, just brought her back inward), and the contention that offers a mess but gifts too… can you offer me anything about this, Love?

❤ : ….sometimes these questions are better answered by experience and experimenting than by mental answers, as you know, loved one. What does your heart feel about this?

K: I feel as if I’m still living into the answer. That sometimes mess is just how we need to learn, and yet mess doesn’t need to happen in the same way always either, giving us chaos to find our way somehow ON TOP of the reactions that can’t always get resolved this way. It feels like the answer is usually about checking inward first, at least for me right now, to see if the conflict is based in a healthy advocacy for self and desires or if maybe it’s a contention a part is having with ME or with another part, actually! Contending with a mate because you or part of you feels mistreated can actually be a chance to see each other more and deepen the bond, unless at this point the bond is completing… but if the conflict is really just from me to me, it could be projecting something outward that means I really need to inward to resolve it instead. In any case though, it’s still about YOU, Love, wanting to move something… wanting to come into each person and relationship more and more.

❤ : Yes, I am ALWAYS trying to help bring something to light that needs to heal and move! So advocating for desires and needs that aren’t being met is where the contention comes from in this example, yes? This is what you are feeling, loved one?

K: Yes, Love, something like that… and we can’t really know until we’re in it if it’s a part advocating or if it’s our purest hearts. This is humbling, actually, as it could still be coming from a wound even if we feel quite righteous in the moment. I think maybe sometimes the contention can be both from a part of us who is wounded and still needs US as well as from our purest center of feeling YOU, Love! Ah, this is so not something just anyone can really feel, is it?

❤ : Not without really being willing to look at themselves, no! Also, this is what becomes illuminated in relationship ONLY, it seems, as relationships are meant to push buttons and oh how I LOVE to push buttons when needed! ❤

K: HA! Yes, yes you do. And even though parts of me may resent that a bit at times, in the end they are given the gift of still feeling you Love…

❤ : …now that there is more of me inside of YOU, Kalayna, and you can hold this mirror up for them! I love to love you and your parts. It doesn’t matter to me if you are messy messy before finding me and letting me in again. You have your own flow of me that is moving you onward and inward to more and more healing, and, YES, MORE love!

K: Thank you for everything, Love…. I know I wouldn’t be me without you, because you ARE me and I AM you… and you ARE what connects me with whoever is reading this and whoever I have the opportunity to BE with in any and every moment. I LOVE you, Love! And serving you is fun too!

❤ : And it will become FUNNER! I LOVE you too, of course, Kalayna. I am looking forward to more unfoldings and flowings with you, within you, to you and from you. ❤

***

Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, writer, and poetess. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

You Are Still Loved

Published on by Kasha RosaLeave a comment

by Kalayna Colibri

 

be-love

You are still loved….

Even on those days when a feeling of un-importance
overcomes the brightest light
in your heart
and the world seems to keep on turning
despite inner protests to the same…

You are still love.

Even when times of harsh climates within relationships
move across your skies
and a feeling of not being worthy
collapses your ceiling…

You can still love.

Even if that mirror ahead tells a tale
of shadow and darkness
and the you you thought you knew
turns into a serpent of rarest truths unknown…

To move back into the self of this love
that knows this love
that feels how this IS love
is that place where the darkened skies move
into a space of contained wholeness
and held goodness.

The love of this love
is the truest guiding light
and the deepest sinew of a song
calling all back home
to the love
that they always, always ARE.

 

***

Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, writer, and poetess. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Looking Inward To Experience Our Sacred Feminine Essence

Published on by Kasha Rosa3 Comments

by Kalayna Colibri

mara-freidman-5

This beautiful artwork is by Mara Berendt Friedman

http://www.newmoonvisions.com

 

So much effort and money spent on creating femininity on the outside…. so many messages of what to wear, how to look, how this is all going to make us feel if we do it properly, use the right products, stay with the trends. A grab bag of potential personal styles, looks to pull from, ways to feel more “feminine”, and yet… did we? In the deeper sense of what it means to be a woman, did/does this make us feel more whole?

We stitch and pull at body parts, pin back our hair, shave or wax parts of our bodies where hair grows naturally. We do this to feel more attractive. We often have no other sense of attractiveness living inside of us… until we do. Then we may enter phases of rebellion, pushing back against all of this. Or our daughters do. This is another necessary phase of the yin rediscovery, just as necessary as the stitching and pulling. It’s a journey back to who we are in our essence, putting on layers only to peel them back again, go back in again, find that stillness we’ve always had somewhere inside the inside of us, where our truest sacred femininity dwells, cradled in a nest of fire, water, earth and air.

It’s a call we feel in different life chapters, floating in and out of our consciousness. We heal from being in the shadow of our mothers and sisters. We heal from being in front of the media and mirrors. We begin to actually love what and who we are, finding the bristles and thorns we’ve been avoiding and loving them too, eventually… the process is a process inside of a process, and it’s all worth it to find that Queen who is spineful yet not spiteful. Who is still and yet moves with deliberate grace, despite the necessary mess of finding more to heal inside.

She is here, she is there, inside and beside you, waiting to be rebirthed into a reality that is becoming firmer and friendlier for her to float in and out of. She is there and she has no sword. She is a naked Queen, in all of her curves and natural essential ISness. She IS. As you and I ARE, man or woman. And there is SO MUCH love for every leg and every river of this journey back inward.

❤

***

Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, writer, and poetess. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Soothing, Softening And Healing Our Inner Protector

Published on by Kasha Rosa2 Comments

by Kalayna Colibri

queen

There were edges in me yesterday. They were much softer than they once were, yet were there just the same, poking outward from inside, wanting me to be covered with some spiky armor to keep energies out and to protect a preciousness inside of me, an ever-awakening yin-ness and sacred feminine energy, from being too exposed. It’s a more male-feeling edge, a masculinity that is so subtle now after years of working with energies like this on different layers of my BEing through this process of mine. This energy has needed to be there, to navigate solo life chapters, to hold my online English tutoring job, to manage my money, my body, my dog, many many pieces and parts and aspects of me and my life. A fatherly energy that has also been a mate to parts of me, drawing men he can criticize and find ways to “keep out”, and the same goes for female connections too, no matter how porous. Essentially his job has been keeping love out instead of letting it flow inward and outward as its meant to and wants to, letting go more and more of control and fear-based frequencies, letting go of expecting a battle to ensue with just about everyone on some level and allowing my inner Queen, my soft and supple yet strong inner feminine, to rise….

This is a part of me and not a part of me, too… he feels more energetic than solid as our subpersonalities/parts normally are. He is a layer of my loyal inner protector as a woman. He has helped me through so much, been a genuine knight assigned to protect my inner Queen until she is strong enough to BE on her own. He has shown up consistently and gallantly, well-beyond his call of duty. Now is the time to help him rest more and more and the only way I can truly offer him that, is to feel him every chance I get… as luck (and LOVE!) would have it, I have plenty of “grist”, as we say in SoulFullHeart in which to feel him – opportunities and situations in my life where he shows up more and I can feel him doing so. I even feel him now as I write this, editing my words, spelling and grammar a bit as I go, wanting to help me bridge this experience for YOU, whether or not you too are a woman, for men have this too. It’s a wounded masculine expression, formed in response to the pervasive wounded masculine in different timelines of our current and ever-evolving, ascending world. He says this and also offers that it is truly gutsy, deeply courageous, to question these edges these protectors provide for us… to ask them to let our vulnerability BE and shine, to let love in and show a trust in love that they don’t often have or feel unless we can help them find it again.

The hardest part of differentiating from this protector energy inside of us, is recognizing when and how it shows up. It so often has BEEN us for our whole lives up to now, and we have been convinced that this is really all there is to us in some ways (and this part has felt this about themselves). We are led to feel that what we are doing is inhabiting true man and womanhood, yet this is based so much on our often very limited and deeply wounded templating passed down from generations in our birth cultures and birth families and hasn’t yet been questioned. One of the biggest signs of any awakening on any level is starting to ask these and ANY questions like, “is this is really what I’ve been called to live as/like?”, “is this really me?”, “is this really all there is?”

The waves of movements and illuminations come into our BEing the more we open to receive them, in this process of softening and growing and relearning, in this process of getting to know our parts and uncovering our truest selves. Edges and spikes soften, reactions are challenged and soothed, fires are given fireplaces, and our hearts fill up with more and more love that was forbidden to come into us for so long.

Jelelle Awen and I are holding and hosting a group call for women this coming Saturday, where you can be supported by our energy and the yin already baking and waking inside of you. Here is the link to find out more: https://www.facebook.com/events/1083484598423538/

Our last group call for women was this past month, and Jelelle led us through a meditation to meet our inner protectors. You can listen to the recording of the teachings and meditation from that call here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vNPCtTQ9O-E

And, Jelelle and I offer you ongoing support in service of the LOVE that you ARE through space holding sessions, should you feel called to explore more of what I’m sharing here today and how it shows up in your own BEing and life. More information on that is here: http://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/soulfullheartwoman

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Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, writer, and poetess. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.