Tag: self worth

Choosing To Love Parts Of You

Published on by Kasha Rosa1 Comment

by Kalayna Colibri

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Bursts of energy and ease

bring in the day to a closer place within

while expressing it all

in ways sometimes unseen.

 

Pain of your being

aches and roars and tearing down walls

exploding through dimensions

of what you want to have no longer

and asking for what you’d rather be in…

all this I am in with you

as a merging aspect

of a soul that knows more than this

but brings it out to the same place

to dance and spiral and spin

until the rope lets go

and the other way of being with it all

comes to be lived in.

 

Days too of not knowing

WHY

why is it so comfortably uncomfortable

to feel your pain as mine?

Why take it as it is

instead of what it could be?

 

The process of finding each step

is led and held and loved

by those times when you know it all

and even more in those times

when you feel all and know nothing…

 

The clouds will pass

without the crippling grasp of misery

lasting longer than the storm.

And the flowers of new BEing

in new Love dimensions

afore misunderstood

and never undertaken

spring upward now

in this new timeless step

of ever-growing light-love colours.

 

 

Learn more about parts of you and feel into beginning your own deep process: http://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions  ❤

 

***

Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

 

 

 

 

The Role Of Your Inner Protector

Published on by Kasha Rosa2 Comments

by Kalayna Colibri

caspar-david-friedrich-the-wanderer-above-the-sea-of-fog

Artwork: The Wanderer Above the Sea of Fog by Caspar David Friedrich

A voice inside that tells you to be careful, and may even encourage you to have your guard so ‘up’ that relaxation feels impossible. A feeling of complete or nearly complete distrust of anyone, maybe even without much explanation or logical reasoning. A heightened sense of needing to protect yourself, that in some ways you may be so used to feeling that it becomes unconscious when it comes up and it comes up so automatically most of the time. A sense that there is a lot ‘out there’ to be wary of in terms of 3D dangers in your everyday life, but also in terms of ‘psychic attacks’ and ‘influences’.

This is the experience of having a sharp and astute Inner Protector, always at the ready, always standing at the helm, always on the lookout. There isn’t much room for feminine softness in this picture if you are a woman, or vulnerable sharing of your inner world if you are a man. There is a sense of finding ways to be in control of the situation you’re in, no matter what, even though underneath that you may feel the rumblings of actually feeling quite the opposite most of the time. In women, this energy tends to express as quite masculine, sometimes calling itself a ‘goddess’ or ‘warrior woman’. In men, this energy tends to express as overly ‘masculine’ in a way that is direct without heart, and penetrative without feeling. In both camps, there is so little vulnerability accessible, that it can feel impossible to feel anything but defensive in interactions with others.  Maybe when you are at home alone can you finally let this guard down and just be… yet for those of you who have families or a husband or wife, maybe this guard never really drops or relaxes to make room for a real ground of intimacy and love transaction with others.

Your Inner Protector has so needed to be there. In all of those interactions you had as a child, it began picking up on strategies other Inner Protectors were using, ways to control you and other parts of you, while also perhaps controlling others, however, whenever possible. Feeling offended or the need to defend against something that has been said or someone who you’re interacting with is so often a knee-jerk, automated sort of reaction from this part of you. This part has needed to be this way in a world that encourages either intense defenses and fear for one reason or other, or the complete dropping of all protection in order to access sexual or etheric experiences that you are told you are ‘supposed to’ get to. You may gravitate towards peak experiences like taking Ayahuasca or Peyote or other less natural drugs, or workshops and retreats that get you out of the normal day-to-day grind in order to elevate above the protection and find something different. The protection can be a veil on different levels of your being, wanting to keep you from feeling, from accessing YOU and your parts in a deeper way, which would lead to a more profound awakening experience.

As you heal, the need for a strong Inner Protector lessens and dissipates. Impenetrable walls and defensive reactivity turn into healthy, porous boundaries held with love and self-worth. The Protector changes form, helping you to transform as well, allowing for greater, sweeter intimacy with self and others that may challenge you in good ways at times. Ultimately it’s a process of letting more love in, for that is really what the Inner Protector is afraid of… love flowing into you and permanently changing all that it has worked to maintain up ’til now.

If you would like to perhaps try and meet your Inner Protector, you can listen to this SoulFullHeart group call and also try the meditation:  https://youtu.be/yP0OmxcSScc

If you feel you’d like to venture further into this energy, we offer ongoing sessions and a profound process around getting to know and healing your protector and other parts of you: www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions

From my heart to yours, sending lots of love to your Inner Protector and all they’ve held and continue to hold… ❤

 

https://youtu.be/_kkaJfUD1lI

 

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Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Parts Of You Need To Be Challenged By Love, With Love

Published on by Kasha Rosa2 Comments

by Kalayna Colibri

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There is a part of you that wants to be challenged by love. ‘Challenged’ in the sense of being shown a mirror about who they’ve been and how they’ve operated and how ultimately they have been suffering this whole time. There may be several parts of you that feel this way, actually. They want to look into the mirror held up by love and admit that they are struggling to keep it all together. More and more transparency is happening these days, whether on purpose or quite ‘by accident’, though of course there are no accidents and all is orchestrated either consciously or unconsciously or simply inspite of ourselves (and our parts). There are certain ways in which love hasn’t been able to help you feel the challenge it brings, what it wants to illuminate within you, the strategies it wants you to look at that have kept your authentic self safely tucked away and your truest, most compassionate heart out of reach.

The big soul that you are, of course you’ve had parts of you form in order to protect that bigness and keep it from expressing in the generally unsafe and unsupportive environments you’ve grown up in and lived in and worked in too. These places and faces have supported parts of you, not the authentic you. You HAVE been through a lot, yes. You HAVE felt very challenged at times, yes. And you’ve needed all of these phases in order to grow on different levels. Yet so often these situations have not been held with love and the sort of self-inquiry that wants to reach beyond self-punishment and criticism.

To let in the reality of how parts of you have held life and ‘done’ different aspects of life is to let in that there is so much more love to be felt and flowed with in all areas. So often the biggest, most protective parts of us have been the most ruthless with self and others. And they can be tricky to suss out and separate out from what we’ve always felt to be ‘you’ because they are used to blending in somehow, like chameleons, even in with the rest of the parts that make up your personality as you’ve known and experienced it. For them to actually start letting in love would mean that they are getting ready to give up the ghost and be felt AS separate from you, so they can heal and transmute into higher vibrational energies and rest too. It can feel to these parts like they are being judged when this process starts to happen, as they are being called out for their strategies and ways of being. They may want to run away, but really they are being seen and you are being shown a deep, effective mirror and really the scariest part, is that THIS is what letting in real love feels like… like the ground beneath you is suddenly rumbling and the skies are opening up to let in the illumination of who you’ve been and who you are now wanting most to become.

The magic of the love that awaits you and wants to enter your being through the gateway of your parts and your arising, rebirthing authentic self, is here at your doorstep whenever you feel ready to start letting it in… and once you’ve begun to let it in, the transformation that flows from the inside out will bring you to a place in your life you’ve perhaps only ever dreamed of. This is the reality of deep process… the firewalks and letting go in order to truly let in are all worth it when those mountain peaks of pure love on the inside are reached for the first time.  ❤

Join us this Saturday, Sept 9 @ 11:11 am CST (Mexico City) for a virtual group call introducing the 3D self. This process we offer in SoulFullHeart, helps you feel and differentiate from your 3D, 4D, 5D selves. Getting to know yourself in this way is an amazing and sometimes intense ride, that is well-worth the price of admission… if you’d like to know more about this call, you can visit our Facebook event here: https://www.facebook.com/events/110934986279085/  

You can also check out our website for more information about the process, recordings of past group calls, and/or to sign-up for a free 30min intro with either Raphael Awen or Gabriel Heartman: www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com

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Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

 

Awaken To The Love And The Life You Didn’t Know You Were Missing

Published on by Kasha Rosa2 Comments

by Kalayna Colibri

dream landscape

https://youtu.be/OfsbqPU26b8

 

How do you know how you want to feel if you haven’t felt it yet, and if all you’ve felt so far hasn’t quite touched something unnamed inside of you, and hasn’t ‘clicked’ in a way that is beyond the mind? How do you know the love frequency that is the most authentic, thorough, challenging, healing, and far-reaching into the depths of YOU, if you haven’t experienced it yet?

New experiences… this is why we seek them. Because we don’t know what we want until we experience it, until we notice it, get tastes of it, see it, hear it, smell it. We know, somehow, that what we have now, or have had so far, isn’t ‘it’, though most of the time, it’s so hard to know what ‘it’ even is…

How do you know how deep your healing can go, if part of you has already declared that you’re ‘done’ and there’s nowhere else to go? How do you know what it really feels like, to surrender to the burgeoning humility that burns you up like a sacred fire inside and wants nothing more than to inspire you like you’ve never been inspired before? A burning inferno of incredible self-love and care that sets boundaries with others when needed, makes bold choices, lights your life up, feels all incoming changes and invitations for change, and lets it ALL in to be felt, heard, held. An embracement of every single part of you and aspect of your soul, wounded or not, that absolutely grips you, makes you want to experience more of yourself, more of life, more of relationship, more of LOVE… this is what’s not only possible but so imminent, all you need ‘do’ is open up that heart of yours and let it in, which does take work, courage, and desire.

This is a call not ‘to arms’, but to heart. This is the call that brings you home, to that place inside that you didn’t realize WAS home, because ‘home’, you were taught, was something you made outside of you, something you settled for, sooner or later, because it’s what your parents and friends did and are doing. You burn with more than this inside you. You blaze with visions that seize your chakras and dance in your dreams. You wake up in the morning with divergent feelings, polarities, taking you in different directions, bringing you to different focuses that don’t always reflect what it is you actually want in life or feel in your soul that you are meant to be and have.

If you want to experience something new in your spirituality, in your emotionality, because spinning around in the same dance isn’t enough for you now and maybe it never really was… In SoulFullHeart, we have a heartfelt and deeply experienced answer for you that may actually be the one you’ve been looking for, that you didn’t realize you were missing… until you let yourself feel it for the first time.

http://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions

You can try a free 30min intro with Raphael Awen or Gabriel Heartman. Email soulfullhearts@gmail.com or contact one of these men directly through Facebook.

❤

***

Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

 

 

 

The Beauty Of Our Messes: Living Life From The Heart

Published on by Kasha RosaLeave a comment

by Kalayna Colibri

dirtyheart1

Gosh, claiming someone or something can feel like a big leap of faith. It is an agreement to fall in love. It can get to a point where even claiming the next step of the staircase can feel like a lot, like you and your parts know somehow that life as you’ve/they’ve known it is about to change. Some of us are more cautious than others. Some of us dive in head, heart or soul first, no matter the circumstance. There could be a balance here, and yet the whole point, it feels like, is to allow yourself to be ‘out’ of balance. To let something or someone new that’s arising in your life tip you completely sideways and add some new wonder to every fiber of your existence, known or unknown. Parts of us have all sorts of reactions to this and it’s important to feel every one as it arises, paving nothing over, and yet the messiness of it all, even feeling in hindsight what was buried, IS the point! Sometimes our growth edges cannot be planned or deliberately planted, yet stumbled upon. And sometimes this is the only way to find them.

As children, getting messy was easy! It was the way we learned to communicate, the way we learned to play, the way we learned how to BE with others and also with things. We shed tears over broken bones and toys and friendship bonds. Sadly too we also learned how to punish ourselves from the inside and as we learned what was ‘wrong’ and what was ‘right’ we also learned how to judge others for whether or not they followed the ‘rules’ as we learned them. Parts of us or subpersonalities began to form around these traumas, identities and ways of ‘seeing’ ourselves started to develop. We stopped being willing to get messy, sooner or later, for the consequences, which no one could feel us in at the time or offer us heart-centered guidance through, soon became things to avoid, avoid, avoid… it feels like this is when we learned how to stop falling in love, falling on our faces or bums or even our hearts when necessary, whether over a person or a butterfly or puppy, or a flower we just really wanted to run to in order to take it in deeper! We wanted to play, we wanted to learn how to fly, we wanted to experience the whole world with every sense alive in us. AND none of us were born judges or critics or even fanatics… we just WERE.

Our worlds of discovery, uncovering all we wanted to, became answered by knowledge. So many of us eventually began a path of seeking and spirituality in order to find magic in life again, and yet even this has become a place of only seeking knowledge and not actual experience. Not the same experience that falling into and sometimes on top of your heart can offer. It’s not the same as the inherent sense of spirituality we were BORN with, that got snuffed out because we had to go through phases of this. It’s been a tough road of remembrance and so it continues to be sometimes, but this innocence, this heart-centered love of everything, is still there. The healing, the difficulties, the FEELING is all worth it to find this place inside the inside of us again. We are constantly being invited back inward, back to that place where the magic has always been. We can’t return fully to that place where we were as kids, and yet we wouldn’t want to, for all that we’ve gleaned from our life experience has been a gift that’s meant to integrate with this child within, hold it and treasure it too. As we claim each piece of who we are, who we want to be, who we want to be WITH, we find our way back to the pure love we came from, bringing our full treasure chest with us that we always wanted to find as children but needed life to bring it to us.

A childlike claim of the love of discovery, of life, of love itself… the claim of another in romance, the claim of ourselves in pursuit of our deepest healing and experience of self love and reverence and worth… this is all within us and the more we allow in the possibilities of mess but still go IN, the more we seem to grow and the greater our depths of soul and heart seem to BE.

With each firewalk we endure, we find our power again, and realize we never lost it but it was our power that chose it in the first place. With each step into the wilderness, we find that getting lost only means being found in a new way. With each garden bed we till, we make friends with the bugs and learn to love the dirt under our fingernails. And with each fresh beat of our excited hearts, we learn yet again, that even the roughest seas bring us back to the shores of love and the light we’ve always had within. ❤

 

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Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, writer, and poetess. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

 

You Are Still Loved

Published on by Kasha RosaLeave a comment

by Kalayna Colibri

 

be-love

You are still loved….

Even on those days when a feeling of un-importance
overcomes the brightest light
in your heart
and the world seems to keep on turning
despite inner protests to the same…

You are still love.

Even when times of harsh climates within relationships
move across your skies
and a feeling of not being worthy
collapses your ceiling…

You can still love.

Even if that mirror ahead tells a tale
of shadow and darkness
and the you you thought you knew
turns into a serpent of rarest truths unknown…

To move back into the self of this love
that knows this love
that feels how this IS love
is that place where the darkened skies move
into a space of contained wholeness
and held goodness.

The love of this love
is the truest guiding light
and the deepest sinew of a song
calling all back home
to the love
that they always, always ARE.

 

***

Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, writer, and poetess. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Mate Ache, Self Ache: Finding The Sacred Union Overflow Inside

Published on by Kasha Rosa2 Comments

by Kalayna Colibri

love flow

As powerful light waves and ascension boosts cascade upon us, this seems to bring up so much ache at times (which some may be surprised by since it has been so covered over for so long) for a mate to share the experience with. There is a growing feeling inside me, of how my heart wants to dance in a picture of the bond I’m waiting for, looking for, aching for, baking for… working for inside myself. As this desire lights me up, I’m reminded to not leave a single stone un-turned, as anyone who pops up on my radar could be the soul and heart I’ve been waiting for.

It feels like sometimes we miss each other… like maybe we tend to walk right by, or “scroll” right by on the internet. We don’t realize that the person grabbing our attention right away may not actually be the one we’re deeply searching and preparing for. Physicality and geography can be big reasons why they evade our inner search engines, as parts of us keep looking for very specific criteria that often no human being could really live into. It doesn’t feel like this is about these criteria though, so much as about resisting relationship, messiness and the mirror it all wants to offer us for our next growth edges. There is so much to be learned on this path of mate desire and so many patterns that become illuminated, and every single bond that arises gives us the opportunity to see and feel ourselves that much deeper.

This is where the ache that we feel for an other to come in and be in a romantic bond with us can really be turned inward instead… which is often the harder mate to be with, for those of us who have parts that resist even that (as I’ve felt in myself during my own process)! Yet the way to be with ourselves is so the way we then can be with others. It’s actually a very powerful practice ground for relationships of all kinds, as we learn to feel ourselves more deeply and also feel more drawn to ourselves as we heal, enjoying time spent with our own hearts and souls. THIS is the overflow place, and the nest that needs the most clearing out and sprucing up in preparation for THE mate to come in… it is the process I embrace and have embraced for a long time now, and something I treasure that’s really blossoming inside me more and more these days. A sincere readiness is arising to let someone else in while I’m also continuing to let MYSELF in… and wow, is THAT ever a lot sometimes! Especially with personal growth continuing and along with that, some strong shifts in what it is I feel I most want in life.

The ache for self is a sincere ache, and one that may actually be more powerfully alive inside you than you now realize consciously. There are parts in there, longing for your love and attention and looking for it outside of you instead, reaching for an energy, a love, that you are meant to cultivate within… placing this need on the outside and asking a partner or friend to be this healing force for you can strain any relationship and can even cause underground resentment as the transaction ground runs out. I’ve been in several bonds that seemed to head in this direction and without enough me there to hold my own ground with my own parts, the ground of these relationships eventually collapsed. This happened in both directions, it feels like… I wasn’t holding myself and he wasn’t holding his. The ache for yourself can only really be answered by you. It is a sovereign, fertile ground for a stunning garden of self-love and reverence to grow and grow and GROW… and life and the relationships you have now WILL mirror this for you, wanting you to see it, for the benefit, first and foremost, of your own heart and soul growth and expansion that then gets to lead and be in intimacy with others AND a mate.

My own ache for myself is now being answered by an arising me that is consciously healing and stepping more and more into service of others. It is what will overflow to a mate soon, as he comes forward and steps into this healing path with me. It is what’s possible for all of us as we earnestly find our way into the caverns inside of us, shining lights in those long-forgotten crevices that still ask for our help.  It is an ache that is meant to be felt and quelled and satisfied as well as a power-filled first step into the oncoming stream of outer mateship possibilities that want to reach us and help this cultivated love flow onward, onward, onward…

❤

***

Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, writer, and poetess. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

 

 

 

Feeling What We Really Want In Our Social Worlds As We Awaken

Published on by Kasha Rosa2 Comments

 

by Kalayna Colibri

our social worlds

On a Saturday night, I gaze among the busy social streets and walkways, humming with activity and energy and alcohol and friendship… sometimes coupled with drama and pain and backed-up emotional outbursts. During these party times, you can feel the buzz in the air that will soon be in every body, not just from substances taken in, but from the high of socializing, being among peers, perhaps finding love, sex or making new friends. There are grounds here that are healthy to explore and some that aren’t really in a sense, and yet it’s all sacred and it’s all ultimately a path to self-discovery and remembrance, even if this isn’t made conscious in the moments these selves, these individuals, these human BEings are in.

While young, being spiritual can find its place in you if this is what you’ve signed up for… exploring consciousness can sometimes happen with your peers, while at other times it won’t or just can’t. For a phase this journey with them can only go so deep and that’s fine with you for a while, but beyond that phase when that was enough, it’s not quite enough anymore. This is when values shift along with ideas of life and how to live it consciously and more fully. This is where certain areas of focus, ways to find pleasure, and paths to feeling a togetherness with others all rumble beneath your feet and in front of your eyes. This is where your life begins to turn itself upside down in countless ways as you begin to feel the need to push away, sometimes dramatically, sometimes subtly, but always in a way that reminds you, you are your own person and you have your own sense of what energies you need and want to be around as your self love heals and deepens.

There can be a fear arising then, for some… that no one will ever really “get” them or may judge them for walking away from the relationship. Parts of them form and begin to strategize to either stay alone out of fear of having and then losing intimacy at any level, or choose to merge in with whatever group of people they are around or whatever situation they are in, becoming one with all around them and not much of an individual in most ways. There is tension and yet also relief as you find your ways to take care of and love YOU as your number one priority. There is sometimes also flatness, as managing these ups and downs (that are hormonal, sure, but also a genuine awakening to soul and heart pain) can be a challenging crucible to hold and handle and be with. So much depends on who you choose to be around and talk to and lean into for support. This shopping around, seeking, searching experience is one that can be incredibly mind and heart-opening, fascinating, and ever-arising too, as resonance moves in and out in very necessary growth phases. This again changes the social circle you choose to be part of and certainly affects the one you currently have as you continue to awaken to the love you are and the love you want to experience between yourself and others. There are so many different dynamics that are possible here and that play out in different ways, with many possible outcomes… yet the risk is always the same – if I don’t stay the same and they do, I will be friendless again or even for the first time…

The strong soul-pull to discover and remember our purposes is something that is happening more and more with people of all ages and soul groups, especially right now with ascension processes accelerating for everyone, yet when it comes to indigo, crystal and rainbow souls, for example, these social awakenings can come very early in our lives as we came in with a powerful, mission-based focus that is natural for us to feel, yet not so natural to “know” exactly what to do with. It can be very challenging to finds ways to fit in with others in our peer group, not because we are victims to this (though parts of us understandably feel this way sometimes) but because we chose for this to be the case… after all, if we actually DID feel as if we totally, fully, completely “belonged”, where would our sense of mission and awakening to our soul gifts have room to happen, take hold and start manifesting in our lives? To not suffer around this, means going IN and feeling ourselves with reflections from teachers and mentors who have also been there and can help us learn to navigate it, often much better than our birth parents ever could – not necessarily because they didn’t want to try, but because in some ways they weren’t actually meant to be the ones to lead you onward and into this.

Throughout the majority of my life to date, having and keeping a thriving a social world was very challenging. This is partly because I was always very much IN my emotional states and didn’t have templating for how to actually BE with them and hold them… no adult around me could help with this and my peers had a hard time relating to me most of the time, plus it eventually became a tool for parts of me to actually push and keep others away. Then there was spirituality and the deepening of THAT for me… and now I am on a very powerful and ever-expanding path that spans both my emotional AND spiritual inner realities and THAT is rare, though it seems that more and more people, as they awaken, are realizing how connected these two realities are and that they need healing in both in order to fully embrace and live into ascension. In my experience and observation both, I can see and feel how this ground of being naturally very emotional and also spiritual has been and continues to be a tough crucible for many of us… awakening does come at a cost, yet is intended to invite us out of suffering while holding the parts of us who cling to suffering as a way to be in life. One of these ways in which we seem to choose to continue suffering, is by surrounding ourselves with relationships that do not have a deeply resonant ground. Our social worlds collapse and expand as we continue to grow… but not without love leading the way and guiding us to our next places inward that then draw our next circumstances outward.

Not having a full social world to ground you can be hard for some souls, yet for others it won’t be and that poses its own challenges. Choosing the path of the lone wolf is also hard and even though parts of you may be working to bury the loneliness somehow, it is still there. These parts can be held, worked with and healed deeply, allowing us to feel how we really, genuinely feel, what it is we most deeply want and who we actually want to be around and spend time with. Our loneliness is sacred and alchemical… it is creative. It is a space where we can feel our deepest aches and desires for mateship, for companionship, for a community of people that continually arise for us as we arise for them. Being afraid of feeling our loneliness is expected and normal, but holding these parts of us who feel this way teaches us so much about ourselves and offers us much healing when it is held in our hearts FOR us and WITH love and Divine guidance and company too… we are never really alone, though this can be hard to feel and let in. Yet sometimes alone-ness can be a grace, a place to genuinely feel what we need to feel, and an oven to bake our arising desires in.

Perhaps you are part of a social world right now that may be running out of ground for you, as your awakenings are helping you feel pictures and energies of the sort of love you want to feel from you to you and flowing from you to others and vice versa… in the end, the choice is yours as to what steps to take next, and there is no wrong answer or true misstep along the way. Even our biggest messes seem to offer us many gems of learning, growth and self-discovery. Letting go can be painful and hard, yet in the end, true service to a relationship of any kind starts with feeling what you genuinely want and need, while holding all relationships with an open hand and heart. This becomes a grace to you and your parts, and them and theirs too, as everyone is then free to go along their own path, however they see and feel it unfolding for them.

I would love to serve you and help you navigate this terrain that can be so challenging and yet hopeful too. You are meant to become more of your essence, your light, your soul purpose and mission. You are meant to lead and BE a big part of ascension and we all need each other more than perhaps we ever have before!

You can visit http://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions for more information on session space.

Sending you lots of love and support… ❤

Kalayna

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qcFKlEHwmc4

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Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge and healer, writer, and poetess. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

That Scrambled Self-Image

Published on by Kasha RosaLeave a comment

by Kalayna Colibri

Jens Hesse_sat31_orchids_2011_84x51

Painting: “Orchids” by Jens Hesse

www.jenshesse.com

The battle seeds of “that, not THIS”

are planted deep and early.

They live, embedded, unbroken

for so so long,

watered by the choices they fuel.

These choices WE make

can bring them out to the sun

to be seen, felt and brought to light.

Victims to their siren call, we are NOT

as we continue to choose to listen

instead of feel…

 

Who and what we are told to be,

those who tell us are telling themselves,

and we in turn keep telling OURselves.

We poke, pull, prod

at those aspects we painfully, straining

excessively work to change,

not letting in the beauty

we are and were ALWAYS

intended to be a part of.

 

This woven fabric of our lives

becomes a threadbare tapestry

of power-filled lies

we tell ourselves in each moment

we don’t feel ourselves deeper…

The mirror of life

shows us where to go inside

invites us to be with others

to see a reflection

for what to heal next…

to find our deeper self

who knows

just kNOWs…

who we really are,

what we are really worth,

and that no one

EVER

has had ANY real say

in what that ACTUALLY means…

 

There is so much,

too much

pain.

From us to us,

NOT just them to us…

There is a lot

buried deep

we are digging up now…

bringing forward now,

being felt in now…

if we can take that next step.

Ask for support.

Say YES to love,

starting with OURSELVES

and those seeds we’ve grown inside us

that need that love

to remember

that this is what they were made of in the first place.

 

Let that light of your inside heart-shine

glow in your deepest feeling place desires.

Those ones that don’t beckon

to your image-based ticks and jabs

but instead

show you who

what

you really, mostly deeply

ARE…

 

❤

***

Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge and healer, writer, and poetess. Find out more about the SoulFullHeart Way of Life at www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com

 

The Rearview Mirror

Published on by Kasha RosaLeave a comment
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By Leena Colibri

 

So this is how it goes…
You let go
and you trust
and you realize what you let go of
and what you are letting go into.

 

Never have I had such a trampoline inside
where I can leap and know no bounds
where the sky inside is the limitless one
and the gravity of the fall is into nothing at all.

 

You were a mirror of a different colour
a different density
and I expected you to work differently
…and not mostly in hindsight.
But here I go into a retrospective reflective surface
where I realize
not only could you not see me
but holy shit…
I didn’t see myself.

 

In a big way
I couldn’t, didn’t, wasn’t planning to.
Not while I had your eyes
your promise
your mouth, hands, lips, body, touch
and heart.

 

I poured water on my feathers
but the Pheonix fire didn’t cease
and my maniac heart
bent on healing
kept on beating it’s drumbeat tone with steady, thumping steps.

 

The thrumming goes on
even as you and I don’t
and you and I don’t
and you and I don’t either.

 

Love. I am your channel.
I am your healer.
I am your student.
Make and give me more me
so I may be
more of the me I couldn’t see
until I realized I am what I was missing all along.

 

** 

Leena Colibri is an apprentice facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Please visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information.