Going Inward With New Layers Of Vulnerability And Humility

by Kalayna Colibri

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We are being invited to feel our anchors and what has held us and conditioned us within this dimension we call ‘3D’, ongoingly. It seems that every shift in the weather, every start of a new season, every cosmic occurrence, is all bringing us back inward, or at least opening up the doorway to do so. There is nothing we have done ‘wrong’ to bring these energies in. They are not punishments from a punitive god or goddess that wants to purge the world of the filth that parts of us feel we are or must be. They are reflections back to us of us… of how we’ve treated ourselves, let alone each other. Of what we’ve been willing to claim and what we’ve been willing to leave behind… as well as what we’ve been clinging to that needs to be let go of. Our conditioning tells us that if we are feeling bad as a result of something that is happening outside of us, then we must have done something wrong. I feel to share today, that this is not what’s true… and that even this reaction to your reactions and to the churning of your 3D life and being, are what is being reflected back to you now.

We are asked very often if not regularly right now, to really look at and feel our conditioning, where it has come from and how we relate to it. We have so much of a legacy from those who came before us ingrained within us, that we have necessarily forgotten that we are here to do and be something different… yet this journey must begin within and it must reach into our subconscious to unearth what has been long-buried.

Among these layers that we are being asked to feel, are the layers of protection. It’s actually an expression of self-protection to believe that all things are happening outside of you, to you. This protects you from really feeling yourself and your parts. This keeps you from landing in you, as it keeps your gaze from going inward where the real change and transformation can take place. It is a new place of vulnerability and humility, to realize what we’ve had going on inside of us all along. It heals and dissolves our walls within so that we can eventually have no walls against the world and the people in it too.

Today, if you choose to, you can begin to feel what it is that makes you feel as if you don’t want to go inward. Even feeling this much can bring you to a powerful place of newfound humility and a reconnection to an experience of love and the Divine that you had forgotten about… ❤

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My beloveds in SoulFullHeart and I, offer space-holding sessions for your inner explorations and healing. If you’d like to, you can try a free 30min intro to the process. Just visit http://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions for more information. ❤

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Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

The Walled Off War Within

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Follow on this well-worn path

The one you have known so well

The one that keeps you safe in the trenches of the battles that wage inside

There is a wall around this war-torn land that keeps it all intact

The players that play their role so well

To keep the whole gig going

But it is wearing thin this hallowed shield of your deepest truths and pains

It is seeing the tide rise where love has constantly laid its eyes upon

Your most needed, starved, and hidden children

The dam holds tight as it clings to the only duty it has had

To prevent the flood of our long held stories with tattered pages in tact

There is a time where we feel the moment has come to let the partition down

To see what happens differently than what has already been written a thousand times

What new change of weathered course sets you up to Higher Ground

To make new peace within your heart and set sail for lands anew

To grieve the life once lived yet never felt alive

The walls come down yet boundary remains

As the love that has replaced the war is the very thing to keep you safe

 

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

 

The Wealth Of Your Woundedness

By Jelelle Awen

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The preciousness of your vulnerability…that which is often hidden away, like a buried treasure within your emotional body. Buried to keep it safe by the part of you that protects and guards and has ALWAYS needed to since you came here to 3D life and confronted the harshness of separation and duality.

The tenderness of your pain…that which expresses in tears that you may hide behind your hands or save for private and alone times to express and still do. Learning to cry without sound as a child or teenager, preferring to let it out in the sanctuary of your bedroom or other private space.

The wealth of your woundedness…that which can feel like a curse or a burden to parts of you, yet actually contains gifts, these textures of previously undigested traumas opening up rich landscapes of feeling, inspiration, compassion for yourself and others.

All these previously hidden things are looking for the light of your day to shine on them. Inviting them out of the shadows, to be embraced, cared for, and SEEN. Your beloved and loyal protector showing you where they have been buried, so you can feel and heal together. Divine energies, Divine mama and Divine papa when needed, create the safety, offering the right timings and phases, the supportive container within to hold the emotive explorations.

Your higher self and soul coming into your body…coming in to infuse you with courage for the journey into the deeper depths of densities and suppressed feelings in your emotional body and in your Metasoul/other lifetimes. The bliss of this soul reunion allows for the downward digging that grounds in the higher frequencies into your heart.

The wealth of your woundedness…..the repeated beacon of your pain that is triggered by crashing romances, clashing relationships, conflicts and tensions, changes and transitions. Life continually bringing you ALL that you need to heal if you will just accept it as such and turn inward to see what it is offering you about you. The beacon of your pain calls you to go within; it calls you to discover the inner treasures; it calls you to return home to yourself over and over again.

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Jelelle Awen is an Emoto-Spiritual Teacher, Soul Scribe, waySHOWer, and co-creator and teacher of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. She is author of Sacred Human, Arising Wonder: Ascension Through Integration Of Your Emotional Body With Your Spirituality and  Keep Waking Up! Awakening Journeys To Avalon And Beyond Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about a FREE intro session with a SoulFullHeart facilitator, group calls, videos, retreats, etc.

Pausing On ‘Doing’ To Feel And ‘BEcome’

by Kalayna Colibri

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Sometimes you need a break to reevaluate, to take stock, to go IN. The ‘charging ahead’ is too often fuelled by something that can ultimately leave you feeling unfulfilled, like all you do is put out energy and get what can feel like ‘nothing’ in return. And then sometimes you feel this consciously and other times you don’t… your conditioning may run so deep in relationship to ‘doing’ and ‘productivity’ in one way or another, that the ‘time’ and space to actually feel into how this is affecting you and those around you is challenging to find.

It can be so subtle too, this drive to ‘forge onward’ even though you feel tired and the need to recuperate can become buried by parts of you that are addicted somehow to the race of it all, the adrenaline, and the way in which it keeps you from feeling them. Overriding the need for rest is an act of violence towards the self, with suppression as the priority. Also, without the time for you, the time put out for others can be in-genuine and fuelled by something other than authentic love, care, and reverence.

The hardest part in this, is feeling the vulnerability underneath the desire to ‘keep going’… for parts of me and Metasoul aspects of mine too, it has been a fear of becoming invisible, irrelevant, like suddenly I won’t exist in people’s worlds if I don’t keep showing up despite needing time just for me, to become more visible to myself first.

How can someone else take me in if I am not taking myself in?

I get that in some ways, this is easy to manufacture… that is, until it isn’t. There are plenty of strategies out there for us to learn and adopt for ourselves, to make sure we are seen, heard, noticed. Yet, if this is all really about just a sincere ache for love deep within us, then why is the external still so leaned on as something more important than the internal, which is really the only place where we can find the love we MOST need? This is an ongoing question that I hold for myself and the answers are always unfolding, sometimes into deeper process around the core wounding underneath it.

I feel that somewhere inside of each of us, there is likely a core wound that is similar to this one, where parts of us don’t feel qualified to receive love unless we have a certain amount of output and engagement happening outside of ourselves. There seem to be so many layers to this and it’s intense to feel through, but the other side of it ultimately means more love than we have imagined so far, all coming from a place within that cannot run dry.

This writing today is a form of output, yet coming from a place inside of me that needs to share and wants to share… that wants to serve the love that I’m being served too, to keep the flow going. I can see and feel the difference inside of myself now, more and more. In some ways, I can still feel how there is a layer here of ‘I want to write something so that I don’t get forgotten about’ and yet even sharing that feels important for me and for you. I get to see this reflection as I write and share and you get to see and feel into it for yourself too. Ultimately my intention is to help create a world with more open-hearted love flow. A universe with more transparent, vulnerable leadership that can feel itself while also feeling and guiding others from its own well-spring of self-love first. I want to co-create with you, a world where wounded layers like this can be brought out to receive the ointment they need, without them staying buried in a place deep inside where they can’t be touched and can’t be reached by the love that wants to reach them…

There is a lot to do, a lot to show up for, but ultimately there is – even more – to be and become… and the ultimate ‘becoming’ is LOVE…

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Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

The INvitation Of Our Truth

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There can be nothing more difficult yet relieving than owning your own truth. This can be a truth that has been illuminated about yourself by some outer reflection, or it can be a truth in relation to another. To come to these truths can be a process for some, an open flow for others. Our truth, which is really about our needs and desires, may be grounded in an unhealed aspect of ourselves but that does not make it any less authentic or real for us.
 
It is letting that truth out into the space of expression that allows us to really feel how that truth resounds in our hearts and in others. This is where parts of us may balk at this truth-telling as it has many rippling effects. It can hurt hearts and shatter self-image. It can lead to suppression in the name of care-taking, which is far from Love. Love of self and of others.
 
If there is something “off” about our truth, or if it does hurt, we can be with that in the aftermath, in a way that is held with compassion and self-forgiveness. It is about taking responsibility for it in what ever way that means in a given situation. But to disown our truth, no matter how hard it is or how afraid of it we are, is to disown the part of us that holds that truth. That is to disown ourselves as being alive and real.
 
Being honest with truth has been one of the hardest parts of my process. It IS the single most important aspect to ascension in my view. By not fully feeling and expressing what is true for us, including parts of us, we are only bringing a limited version of ourselves to the Grand Ballet of Love’s Infinite Dance. Matter of fact we can’t really get through the door with only this version. We can’t really get to see ourselves and what it is that is still in our healing path to be felt. Without BEing in our truth we are still separate and ultimately in suffering. Not on the recipe card for Unity Consciousness.
 
Feeling the parts of us that relate to truth-telling from a fear place helps to unlock the doors of our deepest and truest self. It does not come without consequence and self-reflection. It is being with any guilt or self-punishment that may arise, knowing that if you are committed to being in your heart every step of the way, your truth will always lead you someplace that it wouldn’t have just sitting in the wells of your inner terrain.

 

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual teacher, men’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Only As We Are Willing To Be Hurt Can We Let In Love

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By Raphael Awen

The shell that protects us from being hurt is also the same shell that keeps love from coming into our lives.

Only as we are willing to risk being hurt, can we open ourselves to love.

This is because our self protection mechanism that prevents us from being hurt and that protects our heart is the same mechanism that energetically blocks love from entering our lives more and more.

It’s not that we are so fragile that we can’t handle being hurt, as much as it is that we have a backlog of unfelt hurt in our energy field that a part of us is convinced that we cannot endure getting in contact with. This part of us will work tirelessly in what it feels is a love motive to protect us from being hurt any further in our lives. What this part of us cannot fathom however is that this valiant protection is also what is keeping love at bay as well.

But wait!… If I AM love, MADE of love and SOURCED in love, how could it be that I am also IMPERMEABLE to love at the same time?! How is it that I struggle to feel the love that I am? Why would fear of being hurt be stronger than my surrender to love?

The magic of who and what you are in your love essence doesn’t mean that this is what it feels like to be living life as you know it, or more accurately, as parts of you know life.

This is the sacred journey we are given of re-MEMBERing ourselves back to love, where our experience of life is brought more and more into alignment with the essence of life and love that we ARE. These parts of ourselves who fear love and its inherent risk of hurt are the first ones who we are invited to seek their re-memberment back to the love that we are.

 

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.Visit  www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. You can make a one time donation to SoulFullHeart at https://www.paypal.me/supportsoulfullheart or visit our Patreon page to become a monthly supporter: https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

 

 

A Fireplace For Your Fires In These Ascending Times

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So many intense reactions can be surfacing during these ascending times.  You may be conscious of their root, and possibly not.  They may live on the inside as repressed truth, or may find themselves playing out dramatically on the outside.  Either way fires are being lit as Love’s match stick makes its way into our lives.  It wants to burn away and spark UP.  Shed and renew.  Find out what is really going on in that Human heart of yours.  I see an inner landscape of multiple flames that range in small bush burnings and others as 4-alarm blazes.  This is the geography of our emotional body when left out of our own INtrospection and exploration.

Heaven knows how much I remember that.  I could feel it viscerally and was in so much desperation to find that inner fire extinguisher.  It was too smokey to see the writing on the wall that said, “In Case Of Emergency…FEEL”.  Back then, to feel meant to get burned.  It meant to go through some intensity that was not part of the desire of just maintaining some false sense of  “this too shall pass”. Not truly understanding that this was all part of the way to get to something more peaceful and less flammable.  What I really needed, and did realize it, was a fireplace to contain it all.

I am expanding on an analogy that has been used in SoulFullHeart before.  Not sure where it originated but it felt like and apt reminder to all that is happening on an energetic level.  The fireplace is the process of parts work and the intimate community that supports it.  As these fires arise and burn, the process itself is activated.  It lends a safe place for the fire to burn AS its energy is felt and released.  The fireplace can be a space-holder, a sacred relationship, your authentic self, and ultimately Life and the Divine Itself.

It is having the trust ground form withIN yourself that life is not out to get you.  That you are not a victim and that we are ultimately creating our circumstances to reflect what needs to be felt to make room for more.  It is wrapping a context around the content of the fire itself.  We suffer when we stay too long in the contents of the blaze until we become consumed by it.  We will get burned.  That may be unavoidable.  But within this container there is a time and space for this healing.  It doesn’t burn your house down.  Rugs may get scared, couches get discolored but you are left intact with another lesson, and more room to let the love that you ultimately want in the door.

We have spent so long without this environment to let our parts feel the safety and importance of this alchemical burn.  It was just too scary as we have hurt and been hurt in the process of forgetting and remembering.  It takes time to get used to for sure.  To convince the protective part of you to really feel it is safe enough to explore these fires and even light them on purpose.  To feel trust enough that regardless of the hurt and pain that may arise, a healing balm of Love is right at our disposal.  This happens in negotiation and making one courageous leap of faith at a time until it is just the way you live your life and the fires turn into passion, not pain.

If you feel interested in feeling into this fireplace called SoulFullHeart and what it can offer your deepest needs and passions, visit here.  There are so many energies coming in that having someone to feel it with you along the way provides a sane and safe place to digest it.  It is also a call to create a large community of love-hearted souls to expand this family and bring in even more frequencies that we could possibly imagine on our own.  We are going to need to do some serious remodeling of our heart space, and the fireplace that lets it all in.

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual teacher, men’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

The Fellowship of the Kings of Heart

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I have a continued calling and desire to keep writing and inviting others to feel this archetypal King energy inside the hearts of all men.  This is even true for women, as they have their own inner masculine energy that has protected their inner femininity from fully blooming for the most noble of reasons.  They too can be healed to a King that helps to become to a counterpart to her arising Queen.  For men, it becomes one portal into our deepest essence as a sacred human in masculine form.  

I can’t help but to feel a loneliness that exists in the Heart of Man.  An authentic desire for deeper connection and resonance.  So much of our connection can be in the mental body,and if it does transact in the emotional body there can be some deep resistances to becoming too intimate.  There is a dearth of authentic, intimate templating that we have been exposed to, at least in my past personal experience.  I always felt more comfortable being more emotional with women than with men, but seemed to find more heart sensitive men to have relationships with when I did.  But there is another level of vulnerability that we never seemed to cross.  We stayed in a contracted frequency that had some nourishment but not a lot of growth.  

As we find ourselves on ever-changing timelines and raising frequencies, we are being exposed to our deeper needs, desires, and the pains that follow them. We are being moved into experiences of remembering more of who we ARE in our most authentic Truth.  As men, I feel how their is a desire to share this within community that can find itself to lean more toward mental digestions.  Or there is a heartfelt ache to connect in heart space but there may be no one around to really understand what is moving through you.  Or you may be blessed a beautiful sweet spot and are desiring more to join you.  

I feel that we are being called back into our most heart-open leading edge of service and leadership.  One that starts square in our hearts to feel all the places where we feel alone, forsaken, guilty, unworthy, confused, or in doubt.  There are many different textures and levels inside of us that desire to be felt and for some it can be a lot to hold.  The heart is seeking feeling and to be reunited with its soul.  Its King.  It seeks to be made whole and then expanded out into the Cosmic Heart of Humanity.  To lead others into the glorious NOW of our deepest gifts and magic.  To fly in the jetstream of Golden Consciousness with an untethered mind free of the energy that kept it in the dark spaces of our pain.  This is what I feel we ache for.  I least my heart and soul does.

And I wish to do this with other men in a fellowship of leadership.  We have such a huge part to play in this arising new golden era of consciousness.  To help heal the All by going into our One.  To reclaim our brilliant kingdom within full of passion, vision, and creativity.  We permit ourselves to live the lives of the Kings that we ARE and encourage and challenge each other lovingly to this grand place of masculine relationship.
I have experienced this with my good friend Raphael Awen and so much want to share this experience with other men.  I loved my male friends dearly, as brothers of heart.  I found myself on a new timeline, but feel them at times in my heart.  

This is a show of desire to be in a bond of like-hearted souls that have chosen to fully inhabit their desire for growth, healing, and building an Empire of Love.  I feel a new care and expanded heart for men everywhere, regardless where we are at on our quest.  I would love to serve the hearts of those so drawn to this fellowship and leadership of Heart.  I claim this inner kingdom for myself and long for you to do the same.  

Gabriel Heartman is a teacher, men’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. 

Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

In Service Of The Vulnerable Man

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Vulnerability is the portal to our heart`s longing and truest self.  Our most prized gift.  In our `time` here in this dimension many aspects of our soul have been through many painful experiences, as well as the conscious experiences we have had in this life.  It is not a fault for us to have a shield and need to suppress something that feels scary.  All this happens many times on a subconscious and unconscious level.  We created a protection because we know how valuable we are.  How amazing we are.  It was authorized by our Higher Self.  But then the time comes when Love begins to make its way to our doorstep in whatever fashion that may be.  Through pain, challenge, pleasure, or resistance.  We begin to feel the dissonance inside us viscerally and the only really true relief is through letting your Truth be exposed.  

I had deep tears today as I am feeling Love wanting to enter my field and upend all that a part of me has been clinging onto to resist the power of its immense Blessing.  I could feel in one moment all the ways in which I, and my soul aspects, have built walls to keep me from risking and letting spirit lead me to this sacred union.  I don`t judge this.  I used to.  Today was a deluge that comes from letting that authentic feeling of remorse that comes and showers you with all the love you can possibly let in.  It is a mixture of pleasure and pain.  

There is a reason for the invulnerability and a consequence.  The longer we suppress what truly scares us the harder it can be to feel.  However, I have come to believe it happens when it is supposed to happen.  To this part of us, there is no good time to feel our vulnerability and fear.  I have been through many phases of this facing hard truths and feeling fears.  It is a spiral that continues to send us all the healing we need as we need it.  One layer of healing brings us to another layer of shadow until we are becoming more and more in tune with our most authentic self.  It is a sacred process that cannot be ignored in my heart.

I feel this area of vulnerability is a huge part of the collective male experience.  Different men have different levels and comfortability with vulnerability.  There are numerous reasons for it, but ultimately we fear our own power and the unworthiness that covers over it. This is the Age of the Vulnerable Man.  It is time for us to heal our biggest pains so we can enter this Golden Earth that is NOW.  I feel a veil lifted off of me from my tears, but I am not `done`.  I have more to continue to feel as Love continues its dance with me.  I am okay with this.  I honor this. I feel its sacred balm and alchemical manifestations.  Or WOMANifestations when it comes to drawing romance.

So in the end, I could feel the Divine telling me that ascension is not really all about what you know, but it is about what you feel.  It is simply about letting in Love in its most purest and unfettered glory.  Simply stated not so simply surrendered to.  Being vulnerable with ourselves and with each other is the only way to get to the heart of what we were truly meant to be.  To have someone you can trust to hold that space for it is one the most intimate experiences you can have outside of romance.  With each touchstone movement, a new wave of self-love comes in and expands my heart to serve those who are in a space of needing healing.  It is what I am here to BE and serve.  

Gabriel Heartman is a teacher, facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  You can learn more about him at www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com