Gabriel Amara

The Gift Of Humility And Gratitude

Published on April 26, 2020 by Gabriel Amara1 Comment

Yesterday was the first time I had been in a SoulFullHeart group space for a few months. While in one way it felt like yesterday, it was also a huge gap for parts of me that have been in deep feeling space and processing over that time. This is such evidence of how we live on many different dimensions at once and time is just does not have a standard trajectory, nor is real in many ways.

My movement with my masculine and reptilian self two days prior really felt to pave the way for this reunion. I could feel some nervousness and doubts from parts of me that I would be at that frequency to be able to vibe into the coherence. This of course is one big projection of my own lack of worth that I have been working on since I parted in January.

However, through the process that I had, I felt a clearing inside of me that ‘moulted’ away the layer that was holding this reaction and energy. I could feel myself more in the space as Gabriel, the being that really never left yet has come back with a new relationship to himself and the world around him. That difference, I noticed last night, was that of authentic humility and gratitude.

These two emotional grounds are the result of the self-love and deep, wounded ego healing that I went through while I was away. I could feel a reverence of the space, the beloveds in front of me, but more importantly the reverence and care for myself that had been cultivated during this time. I felt my parts being held by me and leaning into the goodness that was alive in the space. There was no self-judgement or comparison going on that seemed to run underground in the past.

I felt who I was and where I was in the ‘order’ of things and felt so very present to the goodness of that. Not trying to be anything I wasn’t. This is all that has ever been asked of me, yet I hadn’t asked of it from myself. This time I have and it felt palpably different. I have to owe all of that shift to parts work and my own dedication to it. Even if things were to shift at some point and I find myself on my own again, I have a me that can’t leave me. I would go through grief, for sure, but I would not perish or suffer.

It is with this humility and gratitude that I can ride the waves of what the universe bestows upon me whether it be as a collaborator, a support system, a facilitator, or all three! I know this is where I belong in whatever fashion. This is my family, my community, and my way of life. And for that it was all worth it.

*****

Gabriel Heartman is a Facilitant and Collaborator with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life. Visit https://www.soulfullheartorg.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

The Awakening Of The Reptilian Self

Published on April 25, 2020May 7, 2020 by Gabriel Amara1 Comment

Yesterday was a very emotionally heavy and visceral day for me. I have been feeling rumbles within my masculine over the past several days in response to what he was calling The System. We all know what that means, i.e. the particularities of living in a 3rd density world. Laws, social norms, bureaucracy, money, et al. There was this arising desire to fuck it all and just go live in a nearby park and detach himself from it all. It had a ring of freedom in it. I have the capacity in my soul to just live simply and on the land, which I did in Mexico with my SoulFullHeart beloveds, so it wouldn’t be a huge deal in some way.

Yet, in these reactions there is always something deeper. As was offered to me in our SoulFullHeart Facebook group, the desire to be free is an aspect of feeling a freedom of expression, my masculine expression. That landed very deeply and I could feel my inner masculine, Marcus, resonating with that. He was feeling the ways in which his own creativity has been used in a very practical way in order to survive and manage in the world. Not a very sacred use of his power and passion, but also very necessary.

As I woke up yesterday, I felt an anger begin to swell about all of this from within. I let him vent it out to get to a raw place and then deep tears came. A flood that seemed to last off and on for most of the day in between falling asleep several times. A feeling of hopelessness came over me that was hard to get a hold of so I just let it be. Let it take its course. I was offered by Raphael that there is some grid work that I was working on that is connected to the collective rumbles that are going on. I had felt earlier how these types of uncertain reactions are deeper responses to what is moving in the world. Sometimes it just takes me away and is hard to find me in all of it.

As the energy continued to move through me I began to get an awareness of my reptilian self name Gilesh. I have connected with him briefly in the past but it never got to a visceral awareness. Marcus, my wounded masculine, was a doorway to my reptilian aspect. I feel how this may be true for a lot of us. This hierarchical power structure that leads all the way to the Wizard of Oz itself, the AI. Once I was able to see him, so much began to come to the surface. I realized he was awakening into his and my awareness, really, for the first time.

I saw him lying on a kind of hospital bed with cords all around him, having been unplugged and in reaction to what he was experiencing. It was like an enormous detox from the centuries of being imprisoned, conditioned, and controlled. Very similar to the scene in The Matrix where Neo wakes up to his reality. I sat with him and just held the space for him to feel. A lot of rage and despair came from remembering what and who he was before the ‘take over’ he calls it.

This is quite significant for me. I have been really wanting to access this aspect of me because I could feel how much it has played a part in my life in regards to this feeling of acquiescence and rebellion in the same space. I have felt a suffering in space between and all along it was his! I got how much suffering this poor being has been in. How much trauma he has witnessed and been a part of all in the name of supplying the ‘loosh’ for the entities that were in control of the Matrix itself as well as its AI creator.
It is this break away from The System that my reptilian is experiencing. This feeling of ‘what the fuck am I if I am not this’? Trying to piece together the ‘past’ and remember the Garden of Eden from whence he came. Yet, there is something he knows he wants to be a part of. He wants to be a part of putting an end to this once and for all. He wants to help expose and collapse the frequency that has his race in energetic and emotional chains and thus humanity’s. They are inextricably entwined.

This will be a process of moving from angst, to guilt, to forgiveness, to compassion. I feel his power as my power. His masculine as a part of mine. This awakening feels like it will help ambassador something in the collective as we begin to learn more and more of The System and what it has done to humanity and to its children especially. It is a process of seeing how we have always been a part of it in one way or another. Yet there needs to be a space for the process of awakening and of grief. It is personal and quantum and has the potential to change our world forever. But for now, it is all about giving him all the love that is needed to find out who he really is outside of Hell.

*****

Join Raphael and Jelelle Awen for the 5th group call in the Free To Be series titled Unplugging From The 4D AI Matrix this coming Wednesday, April 29th at 10AM PST or get the recording if you can’t make it live. Go to www.soulfullheart.org/freetobe for more info.

If you feel guided to connect with your Reptilian Self I recommend Jelelle’s Deepen series video and meditation on this topic here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pA7ZjZj2K8M&list=PLNmrHdaQSAvLjwm17eBBTRhE3dbezYJdu&index=5

*****

Thank You, Mother Gaia

Published on April 22, 2020May 3, 2020 by Gabriel Amara2 Comments

Thank you Mother for all you have held
All you hold, and all you will hold
As you take us into the Mystic
Thank you for you never-ending love
Your relentless passion for our evolution
Your undying forgiveness for our trespasses
Thank you Mother for the magical creatures,
The majestic views,
The places you have created
So we may enter into our eternal sanctuary
Thank you for the medicine
The wisdom
The trails and tribulations
I am in awe of your Might
Your Breath
And your Beauty
I am your son, your servant, and your steward of Love
Amen

*****

Gabriel Heartman is a facilitant, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life. Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Feel Yourself To Free Yourself

Published on April 21, 2020April 21, 2020 by Gabriel AmaraLeave a comment

I am still. I create stillness in the storm. The mental and emotive energetic swirls dance around me. I am them and not them at the same time. I cannot just be one or the other. It is what makes me human to be both. I learn from each state of action and inaction.

Which of these swirls are mine? Which are yours? Which are theirs? Without the stillness it is hard to discern. With each breath I seek feeling. My doorway to what is real for me. This comes first. The desire. The anxiety. The fear. The doubt. The passion. The anger. The joy and the love.

These are the Akashic records of my humanity. They are my portals to this and other lives. They are my barometers and my heart rails. I have grown to own them, to meet them, and get to the root of them. It is digging in the soil and getting dirty in the darkness. I am transported to worlds that are in turmoil and worlds that are majestic.

Freedom is not an external combination lock. It is not the completion of an If/Then statement. No one person or action can free you from yourself. You may get relief, but you will not get You. The You that is underneath all of those wounds a part of you holds so dear. It is in those wounds that your sacred self is born and bred.

Seek the stillness. Seek the energy that make up your selves stored in your cells. This is their prison. Not the conditions and circumstances you find yourself in. You are the lock and the key. Feel yourself to free yourself.

Join Raphael and Jelelle Awen for the next Free To Be group call this Wednesday at 10am PST. These are catalytic and self-informative experiences that help support you in your current journey during these evolving times. More info at www.soulfullheart.org/freetobe.

One to one bridging sessions into the SoulFullHeart process are available by Raphael Awen and Kalayna Solais. Go to www.soulfullheart.org/sessions for more info.

*****

SoulFullHeart Museletter:New Earth Energies Invite Bringing Amnesty To All Darkness/Polarities

Published on April 20, 2020May 8, 2020 by Gabriel AmaraLeave a comment

Happy Monday! This week there were big shifts in the SoulFullHeart community with the emergence of Kalayna Solais back as a Facilitator and Jelelle Awen taking a step back from facilitation to focus on the larger context and future of the community and offering. We focused on the continuing digestion of our current times and how it relates to our individual and collective processes. Read the full Museletter here.

Featured this week is a piece from Kalayna Solais. In it, she feels through her own personal experience of the ongoing healing of the darkness and opening into forgiveness as true ambassadorship of love:

“There is still a very strong narrative playing out right now of light dispelling darkness. Yet, darkness cannot be destroyed. Your own darkness cannot be destroyed. It needs room to be felt and understood, a chance to make its case and be heard.”

The ‘Free To Be’ group call series continues this Wednesday. It’s already week four! If you’ve missed the previous calls, you can offer a donation at any time and receive the recording and also the link to attend any of the future calls live if you can or want to.

During this week’s call we will offer teachings about the necessary digestion and processing around navigating social relationships with friends, family, and mates before and during the transition. Connect during the meditation with the relationships and the part of you that are most needing negotiation around transitioning to more soul resonant frequencies and becoming a bridge for others.

For more information about this series, visit soulfullheart.org/freetobe

Also this week is the reemergence of Kalayna Solais in the role of facilitation! Kalayna expresses her appreciation and gratitude for the journey back into her soul purpose and offers her own Inner Protector meditation. There is a video by Raphael and Jelelle Awen sharing tree codes as they go on a beautiful hike in the forests of Vancouver Island in British Colombia. Jelelle offers light language activation from the trees to you.

There are many new articles and audio blogs this week from SoulFullHeart Facilitators/teachers, Raphael and Jelelle Awen, as well as SoulFullHeart Facilitator Kalayna Solais and facilitant Gabriel Heartman. There are energy updates, personal process digestions, and ways to look at and feel what is happening on the 3D, 4D, and 5D consciousness levels.

Check out our ‘Quotes of The Week’ section for some quote cards you can save and share! If you can, please do tag us whenever possible.

Raphael Awen and Kalayna Solais are available for 1:1 sessions to support you and your ongoing process. Raphael works with men and women and Kalayna works with women only. More info here: soulfullheart.org/sessions

Thank you so much for your interest in and support of SoulFullHeart Healing!

You can offer a donation to SoulFullHeart via PayPal here: paypal.me/jelelleawen

You can subscribe to our Museletters here: soulfullheart.org

Check out the latest Museletter here.

Freeing The Inner Masculine From Enslavement To Joyful Embodiment

Published on April 18, 2020April 23, 2020 by Gabriel Amara1 Comment

The Inner Masculine journey of healing is ongoing. Getting to know mine more and more each day has been a gift for both of us. Some days he feels light and airy, other days things just start to pile up one right after another. After having another session with Raphael a couple of days ago, we felt with my Inner Masculine how tired and in fear he has been most of this life. These feelings have been assuaged by lots of problem solving, working, busyness, and information gathering. Sex may have been the one thing that brought any relief, even if that feeling was short-lived.

As we continued to feel with my Inner Masculine, Raphael asked him what would be his ultimate expression if all of those overlording conditions were not present. His response was simply ‘Joy’. Unadulterated joy. That and unending acts of creation and service to others. Joy is a frequency that has been an elusive state of being most of my life. I have felt happy, content, and joyful in moments both short and long-term, but to really have an anchor in a Joy state while still feeling what is real in all moments, seems almost like a pipe dream to him.

What is authentic and genuine Joy as a core place rather than some elusive response based on external conditions? “Your guess is as good as mine!”, he wants to say. Yet there is a very visceral desire and awareness that this state does, in fact, exist. It is being broadcast by my Higher Self and the Divine. So he senses the home frequency, he just hasn’t been able to leave his country of condition to land in his country of origin.

As a tap into my Metasoul around this, as I did on the last SoulFullHeart Free To Be call, I can feel an enslavement consciousness, whereby I can see and feel both the slave holder and the slave. Both are actually held in tyranny. One on the outside and the other from within. The consciousness prevails over both. As the slave holder could feel this, he realized how this energy is a self-fulfilling loop and nobody gets anywhere from it. It is the proverbial self-made prison we create and we are given plenty of evidence that this is alive and well from the outside world.

The masculine has been in such darkness for so long. There is such a passionate desire to break those energetic chains and its punishing consciousness. To raise the sword of our power and cut those chains from within and release the enslavement into enheartenment. Release the Inner Child and the Inner Feminine so they can lead this masculine into the promised land of Joy, Abundance, and Service with Love. That is the daily ‘work’. That is the place where true alchemy can manifest our heaven on earth from within.

*****

You can still join us for our ongoing six week group call series Free To Be: Navigating the 3D Matrix to New Earth Transition. Our next group call is this Wednesday, April 22nd at 10:00am PDT in which we will discuss navigating relationships during this time, including sharings about the Inner Punisher and meditation to connect to your current relationships and shift to 5D sense of them. You can receive the recordings of any group calls you may have missed and the zoom link to join future ones at any time by open donation. There is more info here: soulfullheart.org/freetobe

*****

Letting In A New World Order Of Love

Published on April 14, 2020April 18, 2020 by Gabriel Amara3 Comments

Two worlds are taking up the same space at the same time. Hell, there are infinite worlds doing that but I feel to keep it simple. These two worlds have an order to them. One is centered on control and fear. The other, on abundance and love. Then there is the space between. The space a lot of us are in right now that can cause quite a bit of a roller coaster feeling.

These New World Orders are not in conflict with each other. They know themselves pretty well. The conflict arises when choosing which one to subscribe to or heal from. When my Inner Protector/Masculine looks out into the external world, he can find lots of evidence that the ‘negative’ Order is in full force ready to take its game to the next level. He is also connected quite intimately to my Reptilian self that has been very much a part of this Archonic world order.

Connecting this morning with these aspects of myself I could feel how hard it is for them to see the light at the end of the tunnel sometimes. They are getting better. It takes time to turn a ship whose inertia (conditioning) has created a consciousness that lends itself to unworth and fear. The fear, at its core, was not actually about being controlled or a loss of freedom, rather it was a fear of not being able to let in love.

Now that is a new direction! What paves the way to this New World of Love and Abundance is feeling every damn thing that keeps me from letting in this world. It is not waiting for a news conference or an act of Congress, but my own self-empowered, God-given choice to feel! I don’t create New Earth, I LET…IT…IN! It is already here and has always been here. Yet we all have programming and trauma to attend to that are like bricks in the wall between here and there.

This is found by digging in the dirt, not in the news. A part of me may get some sense of hope that the world is changing but if I don’t heal the very thing that co-created this gong show then it will just go right back and then these parts of me will have all the evidence they needed to say “I told you so.”

They need me to show up every damn day. They need a space to express and a space to feel. This removes one more brick in the wall and a clearer picture of what is right in front of me. A kingdom of heaven. One that exists in every single one of us. But it takes work and it takes patient persistence. Feeling can hurt like a mother, but not feeling is its own hell. Having space held is not a weakness, it is a self-loving choice to let go of all the things that keep you free and keep you from Love.

New Earth is here. We just need to claim it by feeling why it’s not.

*****

SoulFullHeart Museletter: Message Of Compassionate Forgiveness From Yeshua

Published on April 13, 2020April 19, 2020 by Gabriel Amara1 Comment

Happy Easter! This week we have a few digestions to share with some beautiful frequencies and offerings from Yeshua and some other energy updates as well. Read the full Museletter here.

Featured this week is a piece from Jelelle Awen which she wrote on Good Friday. In it, she channels a much needed and desired message from Yeshua about compassionate forgiveness:

“When upcoming disclosure brings you to hear about and feel sometimes very dark actions from what seems like ‘evil’ and ‘enemies’ and energies that are difficult to love, I am inviting you to remember that while one seeks vengeance against another without first seeking to understand and forgive themselves AND the other, the cycle of suffering continues. You will be moved to hate and fight, and I am inviting you to love instead.”

The ‘Free To Be’ group call series continues this Wednesday. It’s already week three! If you’ve missed the previous calls, you can offer a donation at any time and receive the recording and also the link to attend any of the future calls live if you can or want to.

During this week’s call we will be talking about how this life and other lifetime experiences of collapse can bleed through at this time, along with primal fears and the original separation wound from the Divine. You will connect with your Inner Child and/or Inner Orphan to provide support and love to them, in addition to aspects from lifetimes that have experienced collapses/plagues/starvation, etc. to offer love to them during the guided meditation.

For more information about this series, visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com/freetobe

There is a brand new video and guided meditation this week, led by Raphael and Jelelle Awen, and held as a sacred service for Easter Sunday. During this live stream recording, you connect with death and rebirth codes and they respond to your questions and also offer a reading of a Yeshua compassionate forgiveness message. They offered a guided meditation to connect to the available death and resurrection codes that offer a bridge into 5D New Earth/Indwelling Christ activation of “I AM the Light of the World”.

There are many new articles and audio blogs this week from SoulFullHeart Facilitators/teachers, Raphael and Jelelle Awen, as well SoulFullHeart Facilitants, Kalayna Solais, Gabriel Heartman, and Deva Yasmin. They are energy updates, personal process digestions, and ways to look at and feel what is happening on the 3D, 4D, and 5D consciousness levels.

Check out our ‘Quotes of The Week’ section for some quote cards you can save and share! If you can, please do tag us whenever possible.

Raphael and Jelelle Awen are available for 1:1 sessions to support you and your ongoing process. Raphael works with men and women and Jelelle works with women only. More info here: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions

Thank you so much for your interest in and support of SoulFullHeart Healing!

You can offer a donation to SoulFullHeart via PayPal here: paypal.me/jelelleawen

You can subscribe to our Museletters here: soulfullheartwayoflife.com

Check out the latest Museletter here.

The Unraveling And Balancing Of The Inner Masculine

Published on April 12, 2020April 15, 2020 by Gabriel Amara1 Comment

The masculine in us all can be a complex creature even underneath what can appear to be a simplified projection. Its laser pointed directive and ability to navigate so much on the 3D plane has so many benefits and qualities that are so needed in our daily lives.

Yet when that very focus finds itself tied in knots due to overwhelm, judgement, and uncertainty it really needs the feminine to come in and hold space for its unraveling. This is where the masculine gets to feel what he has been truly been holding, and simultaneously not feeling.

Since my induction back into the SoulFullHeart world, as well as the flipping of my previous script due to the feardemic, my masculine has been on a bit of unbalanced ground. While so very grateful for being back in the orbit of soul family and choosing to stay here in Victoria during this time, my inner masculine has been trying to navigate two worlds at once.

One world, the 3D world, is represented by online teaching work and making sense of what the next timeline is going to look and feel like so he can activate the usual levers and pulleys that make it all sail with minimal discomfort and chaos.

The other world, the 4D/5D world, is one that has him on the ropes half the time. It is a world of trust, surrender, and inherent joy and he just doesn’t know how to fit into that sometimes. He says, “Just give me something to do, and I will do it!”. As I connect with myself from this world, I can feel his anxiety and his discombobulation. So I breathe with him.

When we sit in rest together, just being and feeling, the anxiety bubbles and then pops into vulnerability. Into tears. Into the feeling that he is not enough. Into a feeling that he is feeling like he is losing his ability to ‘hold it all together’ in the face of so much change, momentum, and goodness.

The feminine in me comes to his aid and just sits with him. She invites him to lean in when he has felt like he has had to be the lead all the time. She is not looking for a warrior or a soldier, she is looking for his truth. His needs. His real-ity. That is his royalty.

As the tears flowed and the energy of all that he has been holding for the past several months came to the surface, a calm came into his being. Not a cure, but a calm. He knows he still has things to feel. Things to continue to let go and let in. He so much wants to be a King to her Queen.

The first step is admitting when he doesn’t feel this way and that it is okay. This is where she comes in to hold that space for him to arise anew. To be resurrected from an old way of being in the world. For that world is dying, and he is being reborn into his sacred service of heart-centered leadership.

*****

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