Category: Emotional Body Healing

Meeting My Inner Punisher: Transmuting Inner Punishment With Deep Feeling and Love

Published on by Raianna Shai2 Comments

By Raianna Shai

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I’ve been involved in the SoulFullHeart process for just under a year now, having grown up with Jelelle as my mother, Gabriel as my father, and eventually Raphael as my step father. It’s quite daunting to be led through life by such big, beautiful souls and for a long time, parts of me couldn’t quite let them in. But I started working with Kalayna as her facilitant and now I’m here in Mexico with them, joining them on this journey of ascension, remembrance and love! It hasn’t even been two weeks since I’ve been here and already I’m starting to touch on some pretty intense parts and aspects of myself. What I’ve been feeling the most lately is something that I feel just about everyone can relate to, which is self judgment.

Finally being able to let my family into my heart in a new way has been both transformational and very difficult. I find that a part of me starts spiraling into comparison and judgment or not feeling worthy of this process. Yesterday, I connected with this part, called my Inner Punisher, directly for the first time. This can be a very deep, core wounding for most people it feels like and I’ve felt this frequency as subtly as I have clearly! It’s a hard feeling to grasp and hold onto and define. But getting to know the tones of this part led to a rabbit hole of discoveries. I couldn’t quite get to deep feeling around it just yet but even after touching on it, I could feel how deep and intense this can be.

Healing the Inner Punisher is no easy task as you can imagine… but even with the amount of connection I had with it yesterday, I could take very subtle punisher frequencies in me and make them more present to feel them. I know that I’ve been feeling some self judgement around not writing blogs yet, not being able to “keep up” with all of the readings, not feeling as connected yet to the mystical and magical parts of SoulFullHeart as much as everyone else, etc. but it felt very subtle for a long time. Today it felt much more noticeable after distinguishing more of how this part feels to me and how it comes up in daily life.

There’s a lot of unworthiness around this for me. I know some people feel fear around becoming invisible or not being heard, but this part of me has felt a comfort in being invisible. If it’s invisible, then it doesn’t have to deal with as much criticism or judgement. But the most judgement that’s happening is from this part inside of me. It was okay with not answering questions in school, for example, and getting docked marks for it because at least it could be comfortably hidden.

So then the question came up for me around, if the issue isn’t about being seen or heard, then why is this a sore spot, personally? It feels to me like my higher self wants to write, wants to learn more about the cosmic and magical aspects, wants to feel more and heal more and love MORE. But this part wants to shield me from hurt by being invisible. This is when I get into a state of neutrality. I acquiesce to what others want and often can’t even feel what it is I really want. This part blocks me from feeling anything and I’m just “content”. But the other side of this part is full of intense emotion and passion! It’s scared of its own passion and of scaring people away with it. Because passion is vulnerable, emotions are vulnerable. In feeling this self judgement around it, I’ve drawn people and energies that take advantage of this which drives me deeper down into hiding.

Connecting with this part (who is calling herself Pandora) and giving her space and love has sparked more desire in me already. I feel open, curious, reverential, and joyful even while feeling the deep sadness, pain and especially the neutrality.

~

Raianna Shai is a SoulFullHeart facilitant and social media maven for SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit  www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, group calls, videos, community, retreats, etc. Return LOVE in money form: https://www.paypal.me/supportsoulfullheart or visit our Patreon page to become a monthly supporter: https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

 

BEing Real, Riding The Emotional Waves

Published on by Jelelle Awen1 Comment

By Jelelle Awen

 

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Raphael and I in San Sebastian, Mexico

I was feeling tiredness yesterday and today I am feeling in glow and flow….softer, surrendered, open. This is how the waves of energies seem to impact and invite us to ride our own inner waves of emotional body waters, especially in this now of August 2017 and Lion/Lioness/eclipse frequencies. I was with the tiredness that came from some recent situations (growing pains in the best way as our community grows) plus what was DEEP in the collective Metasoul (and mine too) from those of us choosing to lead in so many different expressions and ways in so many timelines and realities (as so many of you shared about yesterday too in resonance). We need to feel this bone and soul deep tiredness at times, be willing to BE with it because it is REAL and we serve ourselves immensely and the collective in our feeling of it.

It was fascinating to me yesterday that sharing from that tiredness, yet, also offering the ultimate choice of love (as being with that tiredness IS a choice of love), I then received probably the most response I have on any of my facebook posts in terms of the amount and volume of comments, likes, and sharings. I so appreciated the vulnerability in many of the comments and the PURE love and appreciation for me and what I am leading and sharing as well. It was overwhelming to be honest and I did some checking in with my guides and Metasoul aspects for support to hold it, let it in, and respond to it and to take my next steps into leadership….moving into the new for myself and away from experiences of the past with ‘crickets’ in the room and very little response. Because I have engaged in much egoic/false self deconstruction work through parts work process and many death/rebirth phases around offering my gifts, there doesn’t seem to be a self image-based version of me grabbing onto this attention, yet rather I feel a ‘beyond personality’ energy inside of me (the higher self coming into body) that responds to serving love…..AND trailing edges/echos of parts of myself that get kicked up and triggered at times too (although this is not much these days.)

It really struck me again how there is so little permission in our 3D culture to feel, to be real…and this seems to have translated to our spiritual/awakening culture as well, although I do feel there is an increasing waking up to this bypassing of emotional reality and the cost of it. The ultimate cost is in what then doesn’t get to feel the light of your love…..creating a shaky foundation for which MUCH energy is needed to keep it all intact to maintain the appearance of being shiny and bright.

I can only share and teach and lead and BE what is emotionally authentic for me…this has taken MANY years of feeling what is not authentic and the parts of me that create these not real frequencies and why. I cannot pretend to be light, high, and UP if I am not. Or spacious and kind if that is not what parts of me are feeling. That doesn’t mean that I get to kick out or abuse or project at others….I hold myself responsible for my emotional reality and its impact in a very deep way (probably more than most souls can even track and at micro levels after many years of parts work.) I don’t feel this realness disqualifies me from leading or teaching, yet, rather is the new grounds of qualification for leadership in New Earth….realness, vulnerability, self permission, NOT pretending to be strong and brave, NOT being a warrior who ‘toughs it out’ yet rather to be soft, open, and also REAL about what we are feeling when it isn’t soft and open. This New Earth leadership empowers every soul to BEcome a leader of themselves, inside, and most importantly at the emotional body level where there is often the most immaturity and unhealed woundings.

The permission I am offering here is what I feel the Divine is also offering us ALL. For so long parts of us have played in this 3D experiment of pretend and get by, worn our masks, and followed the rules. THIS is what is collapsing now as those of us in heart and soul resonance are rebelling against this control system and fake matrix. The rebellion phases can have a lot of RAGE pushed up in them, outrage and necessary advocacy as parts of you say ‘no’ to so much of what they were served and conditioned in.

Another phase seems to be surrender to the Divine yet still with DEEP commitment and sense of the New Earth vision and to living it out in the Now. Not as a future goal or when some grand event happens where everyone ascends at once….yet rather a commitment to the process of it, to the every moment of it, to the ups and downs, to the highs and lows, to the dark and the light. A commitment to the mess of it and to the beauty of it too…..the bliss mess of it. This commitment, really, is to yourself AND to the collective too and that you’ll stay with the process and ‘in the room’ as it all falls apart and is reborn again.

This commitment is to love and the ongoing service of it…NOT just in the good moments yet, rather, in ALL moments. This is a BIG commitment and I feel how so many of you take it seriously and your own processes first of all. Things ARE shifting, New Earth is here in the now, and our commitment to love is offering us the gifts of experiencing the returns of goodness more and more in our daily lives, as we are meant to.

Thank you for BEing on this journey with me and for your choice and commitment to love. I am HONORED and so appreciative that you are HERE!!!

~

Jelelle Awen
Soulfullheartwayoflife.com
The challenges of this journey of transitioning into New Earth are immense and ‘going it alone’ is an aspect of the old paradigm and lone wolf phase. We are here in SoulFullHeart for support, guidance, community, empowerment, love if you are ready to receive and give:soulfullheartwayoflife.com/services

Raphael Awen and I are hosting one of our heart opening group calls this Saturday to digest all the influxes in ascension energies and how to be with that on an emotional body level through our parts work process:https://www.facebook.com/events/141617019749771

 

Feeling Our Way To Rose-Colored Glasses

Published on by Gabriel Heartman2 Comments

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“You are invited to feel. Invited to let IN. Invited to choose. You cannot be convinced or forced into anything your soul hasn’t already chosen as its learning ground. It is all created by you for you. Your own special remembrance program. All the difficulties, challenges, pain, fear, anxieties, terrors, pleasures, glories, and accomplishments, et al. They have been placed before you to as a reminder of what you needed to bring love to in order to feel the love of.”

Not sure where these words are coming from. They are there for me to take in. Maybe meant for you as well. I am feeling a part of me today that is wanting to let go of an old way of relating to life and self. Seeing and feeling things through a weathered and worn out pair of fear glasses and ready to adorn those rose-colored ones that we all want to wear but were told they didn’t see the world “realistically”.

I clearly needed these 3D glasses. And you did too. They got me to realize how much more I want to inhabit and feel about this life I chose to live and create. They are like the old worn out pair of jeans that you just could see yourself getting rid of because they felt so comfortable and reliable. But they just aren’t me anymore. It is time for something new. Something bigger that comes from withIN. A choice to feel the reactions to that come up from response to that bigger, to that experience of life and love that feels so elusive to a part of me. This is an unfolding and unfurling. With each healed layer there comes a new one to feel at greater depths of wanting more love, more authentic expression.

Maybe this is you too. Tired and worn out. Ready to move on and move UP. To feel the part of you that is ready to surrender the guard, the fight, and the struggle. To lean into a fuller brighter you that this part of you sees as just a pair of those rose-colored glasses. It is not as simple as replacing the old ones. That is not how it works. It is about feeling all the ways in which we have kept ourselves from letting go of the old ones and feeling worthy enough to adorn the new ones. The ones we know are way more realistic, and way more magical!

We are approaching a time when we are all going to start feeling this more and more. This inner passion and truth that will seek out its own way to find its birth and requisite death. Yet we get to choose how this unfolds every step of the way.

I have chosen to lead myself and others through this magical portal called SoulFullHeart. It is what I came here to be a part of and experience. It is what brings me to more and more of an expanded sense of self, of Love, of community, and of a glorious new Golden Earth. It is here for you to choose as well when you feel ready and resonant.

Here’s to those rose-colored glasses and to what we have always meant to experience beyond what we have been willing to feel.

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

A ReLOVEution To End Inner Violence And Violence-Based Choices

Published on by Kasha Rosa1 Comment

by Kalayna Colibri

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“These violent delights have violent ends  

And in their triumph die”

– Romeo and Juliet, ActII, Scene VI

 

Our suffering so often comes from violent choices.

Violence is chosen when parts of us decide to bury themselves, to bury their pain, covering it up, numbing it out, putting makeup on it, pretending it either doesn’t exist, or in some cases hiding it in plain sight through sabotage of this relationship or that job or through self-harm in the form of addiction of any kind.

Violence is chosen when parts of us decide to see the world as personally oppressive, racking up reason after reason, building a case for their victimhood, making it inevitable that an intense push-away always becomes necessary and the world feels like ‘us’ against ‘them’. As we assuage the battles within, there ARE times sometimes when we receive violence and abuse or aggression from others and DO need to advocate, to turn away, to all-out walk away from what needs to collapse for the sake of our self-worth and also at times our survival. Sometimes this has a violent playout and fallout. If this situation lasts, there is likely some deeper violence still happening within, because this relationship on the outside represents a battle raging on the inside. It is a climate that your parts have gotten used to… and have not learned how to be or even imagined how to be anything different towards each other.

Violence is chosen when parts of us hold rigidly onto ways of seeing and feeling others. In some cases, parts don’t want to feel others’ perspectives, or, would prefer to feign compassion rather than be in the process that allows them to feel genuine compassion for the first time. This serves as a numbing of the self. It is a focus on keeping the victim inside alive and pushing away the budding King or Queen of heart and soul. It is also violent when we try to press our point of view on another who isn’t ready or doesn’t want to take it in. It is violent too, to use aggressive energy behind our words and point of view. These examples are another way to become numb to the needs of others and the ways in which they need to walk out what they are walking out, without name-calling or unfair readouts. This is a hard thing to avoid doing when we have so much tension inside from us to us and part to part… this does move over time though and is so important to keep feeling as it comes up.

Violence is chosen by choosing to eat foods that are violent to the planet and/or to our bodies. I don’t offer this as a piece to feel shame over, but rather something to just feel into. It does feel important to let this in and to make new choices, feeling the parts of you that have resistance to this along the way, so that they can come with you and not feel as if THEY are experiencing violence against THEM, as this dynamic can happen too…

Violence and revenge in different forms have become a strong underpinning in our cultures worldwide. It is a way to see war as an option, protests as the only means of revolution, and aggressive, ambitious efforts the only way to be ‘successful’.

A reLOVEution can be and IS so different than this… than even those subtle twinges of wanting to fight fire with fire in some way. There is a way that we can stand up for ourselves through boundaries and vulnerability that doesn’t need to result in withholding love in any way. We can find a way to teach ourselves new ways of being in life and in LOVE without committing any sort of violence, suppression or oppression inside.

This is as much an ongoing process for me as it likely is for you too. I have had many years inside of a process of peeling back the layers of inner violence and battles and even recently have felt a Metasoul aspect that still lives in the era of Women’s Suffrage in the UK. Really intense timeline, that one. Talk about fighting fire with fire! She and I have been able to feel that there IS an alternative to these violent means of ‘fighting’… feeling how bringing vulnerability is actually the key to deep inner and outer change. She is still being convinced of the truth of this, as she understandably lives in an intense time and hasn’t really seen this in action, but she is trying and that is enough for me to feel something MORE wanting to come and be inside of me and thus from me to others too. I actually feel her helping me write this piece today… it’s helping her digest her reality and new possibilities that are arising for her and for others.

A new, violence-less horizon is calling, wanting to help us end our personal and collective suffering… how deeply you are able to heed this call is a very personal choice and it feels like any healing of this on any level of your being is a fantastic start!

LOVE to you, fellow reLOVEutionary!

***

Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Finding Help To Enter and Exit Your Cave Of Suffering

Published on by Raphael Awen2 Comments

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By Raphael Awen

I believe every last one of us has a cave of deep suffering somewhere in our makeup, somewhere in our souls timeline, that plays out in our lives.

Many are working hard to avoid all contact with this cave while others know it all too well.

Some of us have done serious time in coming to terms with our caves and have found, through trial and error, a way through, and even gone on to transform the cave into a beautiful space of previously unimaginable self love and connection. If there are yet more caves to uncover, we are no longer afraid, nor too deeply surprised to encounter them if and when they arise. I feel this to be true for myself.

Our capacity to know and feel our deepest and truest joy is inextricably connected to our capacity to know and feel our deepest sorrows. It all wants to be known and felt and one cannot be separated from the other.

Finding and feeling a part of you that hates life can be quite a task when there is another above ground part of you quite invested in keeping a surface life that is expected of you intact. But for many now, it is becoming clear that this is the reason why they chose to incarnate here, to find and feel all of what exists in the furthest regions of their being, and to re-member it all to the love that they are.

What we are also realizing is that we can’t do it without help. The steps to our freedom, like the pathways that led into our pain, intertwine us in messy relationship. Until a ‘you’ can emerge that isn’t fused with the pain, and this you can recognize and go on to authorize someone or something outside of yourself to help you, there really isn’t any help to be had.

In another way, any ‘outside’ resource that you engage and authorize is coming from you as they couldn’t have any way of serving you without your authorization, regardless of their claimed expertise or desire to help you. In this way, we rightly project our higher selves onto an other that is our flow of help in the now moment to help us.

But where does ‘help’ come from and what does it look like? How would you know it when you saw it?

Truth is, you can’t really know, at least not in the way a part of you may be seeking a guarantee that the help you are attracted to isn’t in fact a path that will elucidate more of your own deeper suffering through an abusive kind of experience. If there is more suffering to encounter in your being, you can know that it was yours to encounter, and even an experience of abuse was something your higher self was not afraid to encounter and even draw to yourself as it offered you an opportunity to access and heal something that couldn’t be accessed and healed any other way.

Your soul knows that you are love, while you are out seeking to know and feel more of this love that you are.

Your soul is not afraid of the role of momentary pain or sorrow, to backlight this glorious everlasting love into being seen and felt as your daily lived in reality.

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit  www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Return LOVE in money form: https://www.paypal.me/supportsoulfullheart or visit our Patreon page to become a monthly supporter: https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

You Can’t Steer A Parked Car

Published on by Raphael Awen2 Comments

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By Raphael Awen

The reason your next steps may not feel so clear is that a part of you has been resisting the natural movement, the flow, the direction.

An all too common way parts of us do this is to focus on the ‘impossibility’ of the big step as a way to not take any small steps. Big steps are just a series of small steps.

You can’t steer a parked car and a parked car cannot take you anywhere.

The small steps are crucial to confirming guidance, building trust and being en-couraged to take the next steps. Big movements are always a process, rather than an epic end-of-life-as-you-know-it, mammoth, swallow-you-whole kind of choice that a part of you may be amping it up to be.

If life is in fact facing you with a life or death kind of choice, I venture to say that that is what a part of you has created by resisting the many small choice points along the way. Life never gives you what you cannot bear, but the opposite can sure seem true when we haven’t been paying attention. Parts of us then can play victim to life and change in a seemingly all-too-real reality, hiding the fact we created that reality.

A decision to leave a partner or a marriage shouldn’t be what stops you from beginning to bring your truth, both to yourself and to your mate. Start there and see where that leads. What changes can you embrace in your career while feeling and not denying the desire to leave that career?

Life at its core is about change. Trying to be in life with a resistive relationship with change is like trying to stop the wind. You can resist change, but you only end up resisting yourself and where change wants to take you.

When you don’t change, you become more and more uninteresting to yourself, others and even to life itself too. You are contributing less to the community you are a part of and so naturally you feel less safe and less trusting that life will reciprocate and meet your needs. Your anxiety becomes palpable and obnoxious as you demand that others look after the fallout of your resistance to life, and the dis-ease that you are manifesting around you and in you.

If you are allowing me to speak this straight to you today, I can feel that it is because you really do want to take responsibility to change your relationship to change, and return to actually being in life.

You bring huge air into the room when you do that. You water the souls of everyone around you, which includes all of us, because we are all connected and we are all one as well as individuals at the same time.

Talk about a high spiritual calling, like no other, just living your life, to the fullest!

I felt a need to speak this straight today as I am gathering my own courage again for my next steps, and I so want to be around, up close and personal with this kind of very exciting life giving energy.

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit  www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Return LOVE in money form: https://www.paypal.me/supportsoulfullheart or visit our Patreon page to become a monthly supporter: https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

 

Energies Invite Us Into A New Kind Of ‘Strength’ From Within

Published on by Kasha Rosa7 Comments

by Kalayna Colibri

Alessandro Sanna

Painting by Alessandro Sanna

Our self-doubts run deep within a river of rejection fears and wounds. This river rises more and more as these energies swirling around us come in to shake it up, bring it up, flush it out. Having days that feel like everything inside of you is against you is part of this process… there are parts of you that want you to feel them, finally, in their turmoil. They want to be loved in spite of their spiky armor and seen for more than just the pain they hold. They want you to show up for them, to show them that they have worth so that in your very being, you can feel this worth deeply, inhabit it, live by it, and never compromise it again. So much inside of you wants and aches for your advocacy from you to you, to stop the madness for each part of you and Metasoul aspect too.

The image of the ‘Heart Warrior’ is another superhero that parts of you want to lean into, yet it too is an archetype of invulnerability that pushes away love. Yes, there is a ‘hero’ inside of you that shows up somehow to feel YOU for the first time in the form of these precious parts of your being, heart, and soul, and yet the famed ferocity is for naught. It is only a picture of what is needed to cut through the din within, but not the sword of love. Love needs no sword. Love comes in anyway, sneaks under your fence posts, doesn’t need to shield itself and certainly doesn’t need a weapon. Love will win the wrestling match, even though parts of you try to prolong it for years, decades, centuries on end, pushing aside its mirrors, following only the habitual flow back into patterns of old that have yet to bring you the joy and fulfillment you’ve wanted.

There wouldn’t be a way to feel all there is to feel without a strengthening happening within – an energy that cannot be broken by any outside force and eventually no inside one either. It is a way to feel that all you’re feeling does have purpose and that the gauntlet you’re walking out is the training ground you need. This is a strong metaphor, yes, because this is what it feels like to truly be in process in these moments where so much is surfacing. It feels as tough as it is, as it has had to be. Parts of you have built walls to keep the flood waters of feeling out, yet here they are blowing apart your inner dams and bringing you to a new surface above it all where none of it is transcended, yet held, owned, taken responsibility for, and healed over different phases of life.

We are not only being cleared out by Ascension energies, but we are being strengthened, toned, given new legs to stand on too. What is moving needs to be replaced, not only by crystalline cells but also by a new stance, a brand new way of standing with a strength that doesn’t need battles to prove itself, only a continual advocacy for and with love. It’s an ongoing invitation to no longer seek and find reasons to go to war,  yet to feel and love the parts of you that want to and have become very good at it over the years.

It’s time to flow into the inner rivers of pain and wounding, to find yourself on a new shore, renewed and more alive than ever before. To let it all surface takes more strength than burying it and you can so trust that it’s all leading you somewhere safer, LOVElier, better.

 

***

Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Who’s Who In Your Zoo?

Published on by Raphael Awen2 Comments

zoo

By Raphael Awen

The idea of being grateful for what you have is only a piece of a piece of the answer.

For starters, a mental idea of something you should be more of is just that, a mental idea, rather than a feeling state. Gratitude just is and can’t really be moralized into place, not real gratitude that is.

Intuitively, we know what that feeling state looks and feels like because we’ve tasted it, and it was fun, and so we prescribe it to ourselves, our children and our inner children, but in the prescribing, we are ‘shoulding’ on ourselves and that kind of force based relationship to life is fast losing steam for all of us.

Then, the idea that if you were truly spiritual or awakened, and in real gratitude, you wouldn’t be so attached to wanting more stuff is another example of trying to squeeze yourself into someone else’s box that you just can’t fit into.

If you come to know and feel real gratitude for what you have, you will be so caught up in wonder and reverence for the beauty and magic of being that everything takes on a different glow, and you want it all. Materially, socially, egoically,…you want and you want it all, without judgments of what a higher or lower desire is. I’ve wanted a new IPhone 7plus for months now and the desire isn’t going away anytime soon. 

But wait! Won’t I want different stuff than what I used to want? Won’t I want healthier stuff? I could tell you my story around that, but what’s your story? Your story is where the juice is!

Do you want to hang onto what you’ve hung onto? How satisfying is that for you? Are you ready for something new? What is YOUR real definition of having it all? Is it okay to make that up and change that up as you go?

When you explore this ground though, you inevitably come to a polarity at the root of a stasis point inside. Part of you wants the old intensely and part of you is so ready for the new. The only way a healthy movement can occur in a standoff situation like this is to find out who’s who in your zoo, and why they are the way they are. Anything short of this and you are simply back to where a part of you is shoulding on other parts of you, (very often busy prescribing change in this way ultimately and paradoxically to keep a stasis in place).

Really finding out why a part of you has such a bizarre addiction, for instance, what they get out of it and why they are so attached to it will change your world. I venture to say that though the addiction has been a part of your life for the years it has, that you are basically unfamiliar with it. It knows you, but you don’t know it. Oh, you may even be an addiction expert and an author on the subject, but this you is not the you who has the addiction, and the author/expert you isn’t the one who needs to create a bridge to the part of you so attached.

An arising curious authentic self needs to arise on the scene and be about getting to know and feel with an open heart. This is the ground of real change that doesn’t come out of a self-help aisle in the book store.

We dialled up the challenges we are faced with. We’re that big. We even dialled up the ability to face ourselves with challenging and unwanted timelines as an arena for our growth. Isn’t this what our choice to enter our soul amnesia is all about? We forgot, so that we could re-member and become all that we were and are meant to be, that we couldn’t access any other way.

I can be very grateful for an unwanted timeline. Both can be true.

I can feel what parts of myself like and don’t like about the present timeline, and in that…., the movement my higher self set up for me unfolds in a magic, a synchronicity, a flow occurs. I reach out to all the parts of myself as the subjects in my kingdom who are awaiting my leadership and king’s heart. This is my new emerging timeline and I wouldn’t trade it for anything!

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit  www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Return LOVE in money form: https://www.paypal.me/supportsoulfullheart or visit our Patreon page to become a monthly supporter: https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Can You Come Out To Play?

Published on by Raphael AwenLeave a comment

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By Raphael Awen

What would it take for you to come out and play again?

I know deep down, you really want to. But something has you to itself right now.

Is it a sadness that the joys you once had so much fun with are gone now?… And you don’t know how you could ever have that much fun again?

Or is it that you can’t see who would want to be with you and have your kind of fun?

I’m not trying to figure you out. You’re way too big of a being to be figured out. I just want you to come out to play again when you are ready to.

I do feel something for you, if you’d let me share it with you?

I can feel that life as you once knew it changed somehow, and you knew some really cool joys in that old life, but that life dried up and went away. You found something really, really cool, and now it’s gone. Now, you’re sad, and that’s okay.

I think I know something else too that I’d like to share with you if you’d let me. And that is that when people lose things like you lost, they don’t actually let themselves feel what they lost and how sad they actually are. They keep their tears inside. I did that for a long time. It’s like we don’t arrange and attend the funeral. I think I know something too about why we tend to do that, that it is about how we are afraid the tears will swallow us somehow, and we will be no more.

If that’s true, then it means people do actually want to come out and play again, I mean, if they are afraid of being no more, right? Because being no more, would mean never to ever play again.

What if life is trying to bring you your next kind of play that really is your kind of funnest fun, but you aren’t sure you are ready to risk losing again?,…because you haven’t seen how losing isn’t as sad as it seems, if you let yourself be sad, then the sadness moves, and you get to come out and play again…

You didn’t have to find the play that you once loved so much. It found you, and fun is trying to find you again.

I think that’s just the way it is. People are afraid to be sad because they aren’t sure they are ready just yet for their next fun, their next play.

It’s okay if you don’t think so. That’s just the way I do. I can be sad with you, if you’d like me to…., to feel what you lost and then maybe we can share tears together, which is one kind of play I like to have whenever I need to.

I’ve lost lots of things, but I always find that new things are wanting and ready to come in.

(From the beloved younger part of me called Marvin)

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit  www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. You can make a one time donation to SoulFullHeart at https://www.paypal.me/supportsoulfullheart or visit our Patreon page to become a monthly supporter: https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Everything Waits To Be Noticed

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By Raphael Awen

Everything waits to be noticed, as everything also wants to be caught up in noticing.

I’m here with my words wanting to be noticed, as well as wanting to be carried away in the gift of noticing.

As I tumbled into the kitchen the other day, having slept in, Jelelle said ‘Man, you can be soo cute when you wake up in the morning!’. The words and feeling tones of that noticing are still going into a part of me.

The real current and currency underneath life is this give and take of reverence. Nothing and no one can escape this economy of noticing.

People will say that money makes the world go around, but money is merely one form of the reverence I speak to. And if you revere money over reverence itself, you are sure to diminish it in quality if not also in quantity.

Nothing can take the place of this reverence. People will say or energize that they don’t need anything, but even this act is a request to be noticed for something.

Every revered thing only gets its value by the value we imbue it with, for this is what we are… ones who have the power to impute worth, and thereby meaning.

We create our own worlds by that which we give our attention to.

Whether it’s deep meditation, or a walk in the forest, or attending a monster truck event, we are all out desiring to be caught up in notice, in both giving and receiving it.

If you’ve never tried it before, try giving the gift of your attention for several minutes to something, like an insect, or a plant, or even a so called ‘inanimate’ object like a stone, or a coveted and well crafted object, like a smartphone, or a piece of furniture. Feel the object taking in your attention. Feel the object as it feels you feeling it. If you can feel this, you are truly the hottest stuff that the universe is made up of! Everything comes from Gaia and everything returns to Gaia. How cool to feel that! Now go one step more and feel the object noticing you, noticing your noticing. Feels its curiosity about you? Feel how you are changed by receiving the gift of reverence directed back at you.

Another way we can receive this gift we crave so deeply is feeling how when we do give reverence out to what we call an other, that there is, on a deeper level, no other, for we are all one. Reverence given is reverence received. We are always the first partakers of the gardens we cultivate in this way.

But what about the parts of us who don’t yet get much juice out of the we-are-all-one picture? Can we feel a part of ourselves AS a sacred part of ourselves, with uniquenesses that are wanting to be felt and noticed?

I get to feel how ‘I am you’ as I feel how and in what ways ‘I am not you’. This is true for parts of ourselves in the same way. We are a makeup of distinct beings living their separate timelines and realities inside of us awaiting our notice.

It’s in that noticing of separateness that we are afforded a return to wholeness.

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit  www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. You can make a one time donation to SoulFullHeart at https://www.paypal.me/supportsoulfullheart or visit our Patreon page to become a monthly supporter: https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.