Incoming Spring Sun Codes Remind Us To Be ‘Gentle’ Within

by Kalayna Solais

In this hemisphere, we are now skirting the edges of the awakening of spring time, which supports us all to do our ‘spring cleaning’ on ALL layers and levels of our BEing. I walked home from my day job yesterday to take in the sunshine, feeling intuitively that I needed it as support for my own personal transitions and upgrades right now.

 

What I seemed to capture in the photos I took were some powerful codes that continually encourage emergence from this last winter’s sometimes very intense inward time. I also felt them lighting a spark within. A spark of burgeoning clarity but also of the motivation to keep going, keep feeling, keep letting in the next growth edges and phases while letting in love too.

It’s that ‘while letting in love’ part of it though, that still trips up so many, it feels like. You can be a ‘maniac’ for personal growth and still find it challenging to let in that love is ultimately holding the space for it all, encouraging and supporting you to keep going but to do so with self-love and care too, even gentleness with yourself, which shadow explorations especially need since they have often been so long met with angst and anguish or completely ignored instead.

Sometimes I have to remind parts of me, as desirous as they are to keep experiencing their own healing, that any energies of self-punishment on our way there won’t work anymore… this was especially challenging during my separation from SoulFullHeart this past year. I was reminded by another brilliant, bright soul who is doing this work and living this process that I needed to remember to ‘be gentle’. When she offered me that, I realized how much I, Kalayna, was not holding the process waves coming through but that it was other parts of me, mostly masculine in energy, that were being very hard on themselves to try and ‘get through’ what we were trying much to hard to dive into and feel through. I’ll never forget the impact those words ‘be gentle’ had on me…

And so, here I am, offering them to YOU now…

“Remember to be gentle.”

Maybe this is one of the big messages from the incoming energies right now. As they intensify, actually, we’re left with little choice BUT to discover what being gentle toward ourselves actually means for us individually. The ‘old’ ways of shadow-hunting, of finding ourselves in processes inspired solely by tough and hammering ‘triggers’, of saying ‘yes’ to social situations or going outside of ourselves when what we really need is a bubble bath and some ‘me’ time, are being invited to be felt deeper as we let in and honour the parts of us that have held our/their processes in this way, thinking that they need to stay in their suffering loops in order to experience ultimate healing… in order to ‘deserve’ it/feel ‘worthy’ of it.

There’s so much to tenderly feel with these parts/aspects, however/whenever you can… there are many beautiful guided meditations from Jelelle Awen on our Youtube channel: SoulFullHeart Experience, that can help you start to feel them and bring them into your opening up heart space.

Much love to you, today, and always, during this time of transition into a new internal and external ‘season’ and beyond!

Love,
Kalayna Solais

Raphael and Jelelle Awen are exquisite space holders who are incredible at supporting you in your ongoing personal process. 1:1 sessions with them are available as well as monthly virtual group calls: soulfullheartwayoflife.com

***

Kalayna Solais is a SoulFullHeart facilitant, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

The Ongoing Journey Of Serving Love

by Kalayna Solais

Service is a journey, not a destination…

When I first started awakening and paying close attention to different spiritual teachers, authors, etc, parts of me took this whole world of being a ‘leader’ in personal development, healing, etc as a place of arrival; as somewhere you land, someday, and never leave and are never really asked to leave. I didn’t know back then about the dis-integrity that often comes with these high-up places and ‘roles’ that are often not heart-inhabited or emotionally awakened though the soul may be quite ‘attained’ in many ways.

Parts of me wanted to be one of them… wanted the accolades, the spotlight, the sense of ‘arrival’ and ultimately having ‘healed’ so much. Really though, it was the feeling sense of living your truest soul purpose day-in and day-out, fully aligned with who you came here to BE and what you came here to offer others that was the shiniest asset for me.
Yet… it wasn’t exactly real.

At least not in the ways that I was thinking it was at the time.
There’s a sheen and a glamour that is starting to fade and tarnish now. There are still those who are worshipped yet the abuses they are part of toward others and ultimately themselves is starting to show through the shiny fabric. The ‘Wizard of Oz’ can no longer hide in this process of Ascension.

Even the most highly praised leaders are starting to realize that their sense of service of others, to whatever degree it’s been genuine for them, is in fact an ongoing journey and not an ultimate destination where you no longer need to grow, to look at yourself, to realize what has been hiding in the shadows of your heart and soul that now need to purge out and be seen and felt, loved and humbled.

The desire that has always been with me to get to some ‘place’ where I can serve love more directly with individuals and groups still lives in me to some degree and every day I feel it. I see it show up in others too, even many young men and women are much younger than me, who have parts of them that feel the need to aim for this ‘destination’ place, often as a way (and it was this for me too, once upon a time) to leap-frog over the necessary life experiences and deeper healing processes that come first and foremost in order to be fully embodied and feel the humility (and humanity too) that comes with being of deep service; an alignment with yourself, your soul, your own ongoing healing process that overflows to others with deep integrity and honesty.

I’ve learned over and over again to not rush myself to ‘get somewhere’ I may not be for a while. Supporting those around me that are in a flow of service feels right to my heart for now. I don’t feel that in this I am shrinking at all from my bigness, but that I’m being given space and an invitation to explore my own process deeper, trusting that all of the inward time opens out as needed into some expression of service that can only expand as my soul does.

Maybe, then, we can say that there IS an ‘arrival gate’ when it comes to service-of-love flow and one that you simply ‘know’ you’ve arrived at when you have, yet that it’s only another leg of your very individual journey of YOUR ever-deepening healing and growth process, meant to shift every ground within and outside of you, in all areas of your life and with all parts of you/aspects of your soul.

Much love to YOU on YOUR journey of ‘arriving’ where you are right now… into the invitation to just keep feeling yourself, trusting that this is what truly takes you, with the most integrity possible, into your next phase of ‘service’ to self and others. ❤

***

Kalayna Solais is a SoulFullHeart facilitant, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Feeling Held By Divine Mother During Intense Life Transitions

by Kalayna Solais

As usual, when the world on the outside feels intense and hard to be a part of, I feel the arms of Divine Mother enfolding us all… encouraging every one of us to go back inward and start there before we try and ‘do’ anything on the outside, for if we can come from love (especially of self) and not despair or disdain in our action-taking, we are miles, leaps, infinite bounds ahead of the intensity of collapsing timelines and the pain of what’s burning up still in 3D life and conditioning.

It occurred to me yesterday that often when my own life is shifting, I end up making choices that are somehow rooted in wanting to dismiss what ‘isn’t working’ anymore or to have an energy of disdain or even despair and disappointment leading the charge. I began to feel into this as the way that parts of me have ‘had to’ lead decision making oftentimes in the past. But, what if that doesn’t ‘have to’ be true anymore? What if now I can come from a heart that is FULL of trust and love, understanding that sometimes things don’t work out the way parts of me were picturing they would, but that ultimately my soul is leading something GOOD?

And, what if this is an invitation not only for me but for others too? Because if I’m feeling it for myself, it’s definitely something that is rumbling through the Oneness that connects us all…

I know for myself that making space to go back inward and collect the parts that are feeling upset, distraught, unsure, uneasy, etc, helps to settle the energies, remind them that I am here, that they are supported, that they can trust me and trust the Divine. If I don’t feel like I can hold a candle for easing the distress they might be feeling, then I’m not taking enough space to feel myself and to create that Haven/Heaven they need to lean into inside of me.

This is the template that Divine Mother provides us through absolutely everything we face and walk out. She offers too, much much context to lean into if we can be still long enough to hear and feel Her when things feel overwhelming and hard and when life is in upheaval. Patiently she waits by our side as we pick up the pieces of our breaking hearts. Openheartedly she holds compassionate space for what we are learning to hold space for in ourselves and what we are learning to create with Her, with love, in our outer worlds.

So often, even when I’m in the middle of a deep fog and A LOT of pain is coming up from whatever part/soul aspects I’m working with, I hear her say to me, “You are finding your way…” and even when it feels as if I’m not, I know and trust that I am.

“You are finding your way” can sometimes mean we are fumbling in the dark for a while trying to figure out how to turn on the light. It can sometimes mean stumbling upon ‘roadblocks’ on our way to realizing our desires. I’ve never felt Her say to me that I shouldn’t want what I feel I want. I have only ever felt Her encourage me (and especially my masculine aspect who is used to finding ways to just ‘get it done’) to keep surrendering to the timing and the overall unfolding, but not to dismiss the dream altogether, for the ‘how’ is far less important than the dreams of the heart and the overall journey of the soul that we really cannot help but be on.

Much love to you during these ‘Imbolc’ energies that feel like they are inviting transitions into new timelines, all held by Divine love and support…

Support is here in SoulFullHeart should you feel drawn to a session with Raphael or Jelelle Awen and there are many guided meditations that may help you as well on our Youtube channel: SoulFullHeart Experience.

Love,
Kalayna Solais

***

Kalayna Solais is a SoulFullHeart facilitant, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

 

Honouring Your Own Unique And Very Personal Journey Of Ascension

By Kalayna Solais

Feeling behind. Feeling as if we are risking being ‘left behind’ if we aren’t able to tune into what everyone else that shares awareness of Ascension is tuning into and feeling personally. Fearing that we aren’t going to be enough to ‘ascend’ or to be ‘chosen’ TO ascend, perhaps.

These are feelings that I think so many of us can resonate with on some level. These fears feel existential and like they live in our Metasoul aspects in other timelines who HAVE been ‘left behind’ by others and on a deeper level still, there’s more to feel about ‘abandonment’ by the Divine too… maybe also in this life parts of you have trauma from the ‘competition’ conditioning, from growing up in a culture where you are always striving to be THE best, not YOUR best or even just where you are at and having that be ok. There are so many layers to this and for me, I’m still discovering many of them personally and how deep they go.

I’m a part of a highly catalytic process and soul family community that we always say is on a ‘moving conveyor’. The more work you do within you, the more your outer world changes and the more shifts you feel invited to take of your own volition too. The more parts of you that you feel in their traumas and begin to have a relationship with, the more you realize the changes you need to make in your life in ALL areas of your life.

This means that at any time, one of us could decide unilaterally that there is something we need to address, move on from or move toward, and that could be a big thing or a small thing. There are always next and next and next steps too as the inner awakening and openings deepen. There are new discoveries and new strata of consciousness that begin to open up and out. New relationships are drawn. New alchemy on all levels. All of these are sacred journey markers that are very individual and a result of the individual journey. It look and feel like pure ‘magic’ and it really is, but it’s also worked very hard for.

When you have conditioning in your soul’s timelines and the heart of your parts from this lifetime that there is something always to envy in others for the sake of feeling badly or ‘not good enough’ inside of yourself, this isn’t that easy to digest all the time. Jealousy can be kicked up. A feeling that you must be lacking something or have something ‘wrong with you’ if you aren’t experiencing what they are experiencing. This is one of the major reasons why I needed the break I did…. so that this comparison dance and suffering loop could be deeply felt into by me, so that I could arise for myself with more respect and self-love. This could only happen if I got big enough for my most intense and self-punishing parts/aspects to lean into me. This was the crux of my process at times in relationship to the lives of others around me too… feeling parts of me envying their skills (that they’ve worked hard for), their fitness level, their relationships, etc. This has gone on and on for me for as long as I can remember… and only now is this starting to shift into new ground.

Why is it SO hard to just BE with our own journey? Why do we look to others for templating but then resent them for it at times?

These questions feel complicated and like the answers lie within every individual. I think it’s so hard to remember that we are ultimately here to experience Ascension in a PERSONAL way, though we are returning to oneness too. I’m discovering, especially as I feel a relationship beginning with a Reptilian aspect of me, just how deep this ‘programming’ of avoiding the individuation process of our healing and Ascension actually goes and why it can feel a bit scary.

I had a yoga teacher once, many years ago now, who offered something during class that made us all laugh but it was actually quite poignant. She was showing us the many stages of one particular posture. When she got to the most advanced one, she said,

“See? There’s NOTHING there! There’s no need to rush yourself into this ‘advanced’ place when you have so much to discover along the way”.

That really impacted me at that time and it remains with me today because I think I was supposed to take that in deeply for my own ongoing experience of spirituality and of life itself… it really IS about the journey and not the destination. Ascension is a journey. ‘5D’ is not really a destination so much as an invitation into a new frequency in which to anchor our consciousness as much and as often as we can. Every individual’s soul expression and attainments are their own, often worked for over multiple lifetime experiences and deep inner work too. There’s nothing left to ‘envy’ if we can see it this way… but there could be a lot to be inspired by!

Plus, our own journeys, when we have the space within to honour them, are proof positive of our own inner work and also the growth and healing phases that we personally need that are a reflection of our bigness in order to be with them. Maybe there is no ‘ultimate destination’ but in fact, it all keeps deepening and expanding from here. This is such a humble way to look at and hold ourselves and this whole Ascension process on a collective level too.

I wanted to share this bit about my own journey and discoveries as an expression of my own uniqueness that I’m learning to embrace more and more. I hope that it helps you feel more love and respect for your own too… for the journey you’re on as YOU.

Much love! ❤

Kalayna


Kalayna Solais is a SoulFullHeart facilitant, soul scribe, and poetess. Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Connect With Your Emotional Body Guided Meditation Video – Deepen 2020 W/Jelelle Awen

By Jelelle Awen

 

Connect With Your Emotional Body Guided Meditation – Video Three Deepen 2020

In this third video of my video series called Deepen 2020, I talk about the importance of connecting with your emotional body through accessing parts of yourself and digesting emotional traumas with them in a feeling-based way (not through mental analysis or bypassing with spiritual frequencies). I talk about how we are conditioned and trained to overly focus on the development of our mental bodies (and even our physical bodies and spiritual bodies) over our emotional body, which is often trailing behind in maturity, health and porosity/lightness. And that much of what we feel as ’emotions’ is actually reactions and off gassing from undigested traumas in our emotional bodies.

In the meditation, Mother Mary and Yeshua join us as Divine feminine and masculine energies that are very emotional body and heart-based in frequency and can hold space for emotional digestion. Your Inner Protector is invited as well and we journey to connect with your emotional body, as represented in visualization as a river. You are invited to see and feel how your emotional body river is right now and to wade into it…bringing healing energies with you.

Thank you for joining me in this video….as we move into Deepening energies together…..one beloved part of us at a time!

You can watch each video in the Deepen 2020 playlist on my SoulFullHeart Experience YouTube Channel here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist…

You can watch videos from my previous 33 Day Deepen series from 2019 here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist…

Energy exchange increases the receiving of healing! Money donations are so appreciated and received with gratitude as an energy exchange to support me and SoulFullHeart to continue providing free offerings such as this video series. You can donate through paypal: paypal.me/jelelleawen or become a one-time or regular patreon donor: https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart

This video series is a useful introduction and bridge to the powerful SoulFullHeart quantum healing process and cutting-edge way of life experienced and offered through group calls/sessions/retreats and 1:1 sessions with Jelelle and other SoulFullHeart Facilitators. For more information, visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com.

The Seven Areas Of Life: Past, Present and Future

By Raianna Shai

I decided recently to do my own version of this popular “Decade In Review” style post. One of the tools we use in SoulFullHeart to process where we are in our life, and where we want to be is using the “7 Areas of Life”. These areas include Emotional, Spiritual, Social, Physical, Mental, Environmental and Financial. I thought it would be a really cool practice to use this to review where I was 10 years ago, where I am now, and where I’d like to be in the future. I felt into each area of life and processed my own personal past, present and future. I’ll write a little bit about what I discovered, I’ll include the article that I used as reference and I’ll attach an outline for you to fill out yourself!

First, here is the article about the 7 Areas of Life: https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/3d4d5dselvesquestions

This article is divided into the 3D/4D/5D versions of each of these areas of life. 3D being a denser frequency focused on a way of seeing the world through the 5 senses. Lower 4D has more of a rumbly feeling with the way you’ve always seen the world starting to change, often with feelings of anger, injustice and frustration. Upper 4D frequencies are when you start to heal a lot of your trauma and fear and in turn, return to love and peace inside of yourself. 5D is the higher self version of you that has little reaction and can move through life in flow, trust and love for everything and everyone while still being able to hold boundaries.

One thing I noticed about myself in this, is that 10 years ago I primarily resonated with the 3D version of these areas, currently I find myself closest to upper 4D and for my future I would love to reach a level of 5D conscious in all areas.

10 years ago: I find that I have no judgement of the 14 year old version of myself being more in 3D. She was young, kind and intelligent but had so much insecurity and fear that much of her reality was clouded over compared to its potential. She was also very shy and would rarely speak up in class, say her truth or admit any feelings that weren’t positive. Drama would happen all around her and she would do whatever she could to not be involved. She wanted to please everyone and be the perfect student/daughter/friend and later girlfriend.

She was very emotional, though not very aware of where her emotions came from or how they could actually affect others if left unhealed. Socially, she had the same friends since kindergarten but was about to move to Canada and embark on a completely new journey. This change in environment proved to massively change my self confidence and ability to take on new and scary situations. She was awakened to some spirituality a couple of years prior but wasn’t able to sustain much of this connection. At this point, she had no real desire to connect to spirituality and focused more on the mental aspect of her life. She is a vastly different person from who I am today but the essence of who I am was still there inside of her. Compassion, emotion, and joy.

Today: Feeling into who I am now helped me have so much gratitude for all of the hard emotional and spiritual work that I have done so far. So much unworthiness, insecurity and fear has been shed in the last 10 years and it’s because of every single experience that I have had. Whether they felt good or bad in the moment, I can see now the purpose for all of it.

In the last three years or so I have become SO much more in tune with parts of me and my emotions. Discovering the root causes of my fears and feeling them into healing. My connection to spirituality has substantially increased with experiences of kundalini, openings with the Divine and more relationships with my metasoul and galactic families. My social world has been a rollercoaster ride these last 10 years with much letting go of that which no longer served where I wanted to go and who I wanted to be. Now I have opened the doors for beings who inspire my spiritual journey and resonate on every level possible. I have changed environments in big ways including a move to Mexico and back to Canada which allowed me to appreciate the energy of where I live and cultivate a center inside of me that will stay with me anywhere in the world! Financially, I have an online job that allows me to spend my days working on my soul purpose, even if the job itself is not directly a part of that. I am so proud of where and who I am today. I am excited for even more growth but if I died today, I would be so happy with exactly where I’m at now, and I never thought I would be able to say that.

Future: I have such a clear and yet flexible picture for how I see my future. I imagine even less fear and reaction, more love flow in every moment, and deeper connections with resonant souls in my life. Travel is a huge desire of mine and connecting that to service is even more enticing. Having a property that is filled with our SoulFullHeart community while having phases of travel within that is probably number one on my list. I see myself serving others as a facilitator as well helping behind the scenes to organize, plan and design. My creativity has been flowing much more lately and I hope to connect these skills to my finances and service. I feel my relationship flourishing and deepening every day, helping each other grow and become loving mirrors for each other. Socially, I would love more women to connect with and have comfortable yet growthful experiences with. I would love to have less anxiety and less thoughts spinning around in my head. In this, I see more trust and flow with my mentality and existing more through emotion and intuition.

This practice was huge in helping me feel love for the 14 year old version of myself, gratitude for where I am now, and excitement for what the next 10 years hold! I highly recommend doing even a couple of these areas of life, especially the ones you are struggling with or would like to see movement in. It can be hard for parts of us to not judge where we are but it helps to see how far we’ve come! We are a beautiful and messy work in progress and we will never be the same soul that we were yesterday.

 


 

Here is an outline I created to make it easier for you to organize it all if you like!

Emotional: The Emotional area of life includes the relationship you and parts of you have to your emotions, your subconscious, your pain body, emotional healing, and emotional expression.

10 years ago:

Today:

Future:

 

Spiritual: The Spiritual area of life includes the relationship you and parts of you have to your Spirituality, soul gift expression, soul purpose, Ethereal Guides, the Divine, and your energy body/chakras.

10 years ago:

Today:

Future:

 

Mental: The Mental area of life includes the relationship you and parts of you have toward your intelligence, knowledge, non-duality, wisdom, and mental-based intuition.

10 years ago:

Today:

Future:

 

Social: The Social area of life includes the relationship you and parts of you have to birth and soul family, friendships, romantic mateships, Ethereal Guides, and Star BEings.

10 years ago:

Today:

Future:

 

Physical: The Physical area of life includes the relationship you and parts of you have to your physical body, your health, your nutrition, your sexual desirability and expression.

10 years ago:

Today:

Future:

 

Financial: The Financial area of life includes the relationship you and parts of you have to money, material wealth, abundance, livelihood, soul purpose expression and purpose.

10 years ago:

Today:

Future:

 

Environmental: The environmental area of life includes the relationship you have to your physical surroundings, geography, global and galactic environment, the natural world, and animals.

10 years ago:

Today:

Future:

 


 

Raianna Shai is a SoulFullHeart facilitant and social media maven for SoulFullHeart Healing, a healing process and paradigm offering New Gaia Ascension frequencies to transmute trauma into love on emotional/spiritual/physical levels. For more information about free intro calls and 1:1 individual sessions with SoulFullHeart Facilitators, virtual group transmissions, four day gatherings in Victoria, BC, writings/books, and videos, visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com.

Letting Go Of Serving/Community, To Serve, Love, And Commune With Myself

by Kalayna Solais

“The energy released through the act of Confrontation is the resource from which the new self is created. To be sure, it takes great courage to look within, but the universe will not present to you what you are not ready to see… we will never be given a burden greater than our ability to carry.” — from Avalon Within by Jhenah Telyndru

Lately, I’ve been in a process of really diving deep within to confront anything and everything that has been keeping me from leading to my fullest capacity and deeply inhabiting service…. which is also everything that’s been keeping me from ME, from loving myself in a deeper and fuller way, and also loving others in the deep way they deserve without energies of comparison and intense projections of all kinds.

I’ve been having to take space from my community and them from me during this ongoing process… and that also means not facilitating or offering intro calls to others. I’ll also not be leading the SAFE calls for women with Jelelle, like the one tomorrow.

I feel surrendered and sad. Hopeful and remorseful. I’m mourning the old timelines that are collapsing but grateful that it’s time for something new to arise from the ashes. I feel the tenderness, unknown, and even insecurity that comes up in claiming this space for myself but the alchemy and opportunities in this too, to finally uproot and HEAL what’s been allowed to live inside of me for so long, well beyond this life. This is the business of deep soul shadow work and I’m grateful for the degree of trust I have around it, even though it’s so challenging sometimes to hold it all. In moments, it feels like I’m going to implode. But even then… once the waves that feel like they’re going to drown me ebb again, a grace comes through, something bigger than the ‘me’ I’ve been, holding me. And that I’m leaning into as a vital part of my own personal healing and Ascension journey that I can’t put off anymore and that needs my intense sobriety and focus.

I highly recommend having a free 30-45min intro call with Raphael Awen or Gabriel Heartman… both are heart open, wonderful men that can be deeply trusted and they are so ready to show up for you and all parts/Metasoul aspects of you. 

Also, if you are a woman, I very much recommend checking out Jelelle Awen’s SAFE call tomorrow. Even if you can’t make it live, you can purchase the recording. It’s $15 CAD to attend/receive the recording. Jelelle’s energies of Divine Feminine/Mother are gentle yet catalytic and I have benefitted greatly from everything she has ever offered me in session space and beyond.  More info on the event tomorrow here: https://www.facebook.com/events/939184226480490/

Much love to you and with you,
Kalayna

***

Kalayna Solais is a SoulFullHeart facilitant, a healing healer, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Experiencing Anxiety And Depression As Portals To Your Parts Of Self And Soul

By Jelelle Awen

The two emotional experiences that are so often brought to be ‘fixed’ or ‘solved’ in sessions (often by the Inner Protector) are that of anxiety and depression. The answer in 3D is to suppress them, to medicate them with ‘anti-feeling’ drugs. The answer in 3D is to fight them, to not let them ‘win’, to be stronger than they are. The answer in 3D is to see these emotional states as enemies that must be conquered and controlled, especially if they are interrupting or disrupting your ability to work hard and ‘keep up appearances’ (which is the number one priority in 3D life.)

The experience of anxiety can be so difficult. The worry that practically chews at your third chakra. The ‘panic attacks’ seeming to come from nowhere that can be embarrassing, inconvenient, and just plain scary. The inability to feel at ease, at rest, and in goodness inside of your own skin and life.

Depression can hang like a thick fog over everything. Life feels meaningless, especially 3D life routines of work, eat, sleep patterns that go on and on. The sense of flatness is punctuated by moments of wanting to die and neither feels comfortable with each other.

In 3D, the emotional states themselves are treated and fixated on….rather than the actual parts of the self (and soul) that are feeling them and WHY they are feeling them. In my over 15 years of working with parts of myself and with others in spaceholding, I have discovered that there is always VERY GOOD reason for these feeling states. Rather than suppressing them, we relate with them as a PORTAL.

Seeing them as a portal allows you to shift from fighting them and into loving curiosity about them. The experience of extreme emotional states is so often the result of backed up, undigested traumas. Anxiety is the downstream, byproduct of parts of you (usually the inner child) not experiencing that life was safe energectically/emotionally/ and very often physically. Your inner child cannot actually trust life to be loving, so they move into an anxious state of distrust near constantly. This is fuelled by the Inner Protector and Inner Punisher’s lack of trust in the world to be a safe one for your Inner Child to be in. The two anxious states fuel each other rather than either able to provide trusting and loving frequencies to the other.

Here is a meditation with me to meet your Inner Child, as a place to start: https://youtu.be/L_bpgyIuYds

This is just ONE possibility for the existence of anxiety, as it can also stem from the Metasoul and be a result of very traumatic soul experiences (especially those that involve killing or being killed) that haven’t been digested. The existential anxiety is very often underneath the this-life triggered anxiety. In 3D, the veil of amnesia is thick and the very influential emotional bleeding-through reality of other lifetimes (especially for those awakening) is not acknowledged.

Depression is very often the struggle of the soul to accept and integrate into 3D life. Awakening souls aren’t meant to actually assimilate into 3D life, yet they aren’t very often supported and initiated into their true soul purpose and galactic essence. If this initiation had happened during our formative teenage years instead of invalidation, we would have bloomed into passionate expression of our soul gifts and service of love. Instead, we were conditioned in 3D deadness cycles….and depression is often a result of that conditioning and programming that goes against the grain of souls and hearts.

Connecting with your Inner Teenager can help to ease the depression as their creativity is released and discovered with you as loving and supportive soul mentor that they never had. Depression is also connected to soul themes and other lifetimes, especially for those souls who are highly creative and connected to and are a channel for Divine inspiration. Here is a guided meditation to meet your Inner Teenager: https://youtu.be/sLDoA7UXVFk

Connecting with emotional states such as anxiety and depression AS portals of self discovery to these parts of you allows for a BIG shift in your experience of them. Instead of battling them, you come to see them as a precious gift that opens up access to these parts of yourself and soul that need you. Over time, the expression of them lessens and eventually fades away altogether (as has been my experience)….with no drugs needed.

Only love can heal the trauma and the downstream emotional expression of it. As you embrace all parts of yourself and their expressions, you are offering the medicine of love to heal whatever inside of you most needs it.

Love,

Jelelle Awen

30-45 minute free intro calls over Zoom are available now with SoulFullHeart Facilitators Gabriel Heartman and Raphael Awen for you to see if this journey into your self and soul through the SoulFullHeart process is for you. You can contact them through this blog to schedule one or go here for more information here: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions

Jelelle Awen is Co-Creator/Teacher/Group Facilitator/Ambassador of SoulFullHeart Way Of Life, a healing process and paradigm offering New Gaia Ascension frequencies to transmute trauma into love on emotional/spiritual/physical levels. For more information about free intro calls and 1:1 individual sessions with SoulFullHeart Facilitators, virtual group transmissions, four day gatherings in Victoria, BC, writings/books, and videos, visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com.

Vulnerable Sharing From A Moment Of Deep Tears

by Kalayna Solais

Crying in the moment and I can’t 100% track it, what’s going on behind the tears… but, I thought I’d share and see what is coming through my heart in this moment. Take you along with me. 

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Sometimes there is just so much sadness that comes up in me. It’s not always linked to what I’ve gone through or am going through now. It’s not always connected to an inner process.

Sometimes it just IS. And there are so many layers to it… some of them mine, some of them not so much.

The deeper I feel it… the more I feel the sadness of a part of me coming up, but a sadness in my soul in a ‘Cries of the World’ kind of way, too.

My empath has been becoming even more sensitive than ever lately. The sense of needing the same masculinized protection inside has been healing for years. It’s time to have a more exposed, feeling, feminine heart that doesn’t need protection but needs to vulnerably share and deeply feel.

Beginning new things is always something sensitive for the younger, very feminine parts of me that care so much about being liked, being accepted, doing well… and also care SO much about others, about helping others heal, about having resonant relationships where there is genuine care, and about seeing this world we live in becoming more gentle, more open-hearted and caring, more compassionate, and ultimately much, much safer to live and breathe and emote and LOVE in.

There’s still a lingering sadness in my feminine that my last relationship is over. There’s still a way that it’s just HARD to see the growth that couldn’t happen while we were together. And there’s still so much confusion as to why this has been true. I can feel this aspect’s confusion though… her pain around relating to men in general that some of it stems from and how this relates to her relationship to my masculine inside.

When it comes to men, it’s just been SO hard to try and become what she isn’t in order to get loved, feel wanted, and belong to the man’s world. Often this has meant sacrificing something of herself for the sake of the relationship and keeping it kosher. And over the last couple of months of inner process between her and my masculine aspect(s) I’ve become more awakened to how this dynamic has lived inside of me. How he has caretaken something in her which has kept her small and how she has not been able to vulnerably invite him to actually feel her and meet her halfway in any area so that they can feel each other and really, genuinely BE together in collaboration, mutual respect for each other’s bigness, and LOVE.

So there’s that going on in this ‘now’ moment. And it doesn’t need solving or resolving… just more feeling. There’s definitely some other layer of this inner relationship coming up for me to tenderly feel with these aspects, more push-pull towards each other.

Some of the tears aren’t mine, so there’s that layer too. I don’t mind moving the ‘Cries of The World’ through my heart though. I actually feel honoured when I feel them and when I feel others and their genuine pain. This doesn’t plague me or bother me. The ‘Death Doula’ inside of me can be with the mourning and the sadness and even the frustrations. The frustrations through, because I don’t have many of my own anymore, especially in my masculine aspect, quickly move into the more vulnerable feelings of sadness that are beneath them.

Questions of “Why isn’t there more love flow in this world yet and heart warmth too?”; “Why are Disclosure people so intense still and not seeing how any focus on warfare exacerbates the problems instead of moves it all into new territory?”; “Why aren’t more souls choosing to REALLY go inward yet?”

As I feel my heart ask these questions, I know the answer already… “It’s not yet time… but it will be eventually. And the only thing YOU can do is keep going inward, keep feeling, keep sharing, and keep growing and healing, as you also respond to those who ARE ready”.

So, there it all is… different raw layers coming up on this early, EARLY Friday morning. 

I don’t often share this way because it seems to draw caretaking from others sometimes. I’m sharing this today to show how I process, the different layers I feel going on in so many moments of deep feeling, and I trust that what is meant to resonate and support your own process, will. 

Thank you so much for taking this in as you feel to for yourself. 

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Kalayna Solais is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for women, energy healer, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. 

Journey To Feeling Genuinely Blessed

By Kalayna Solais

Feeling quite blessed and surrendered this morning…

If you’d known me personally even just a year ago, you’d probably be amazed that I can get to a place of really feeling this deeply… so much restlessness, so much pushing and pressing, and I’ve had to love it all from roots to wings.

The process of learning to land more and more in love, especially within, is no joke at all. It’s nothing that can really be expedited. This over-arching process of Ascension certainly takes the time it takes, doesn’t it? It reminds me yet again that the destination isn’t the goal, it’s the journey itself. And the journey, for me, as been continually dropping into feeling, to get to know my parts and my Metasoul deeper, to have a more fulfilling and enriching relationship with the Divine that can only come from taking conscious steps and making choices that do actually serve your budding self-love and desire to love others more and with more compassion. For that is where the Divine can be the most deeply felt and experienced, as well as invited IN.

So why in this particular moment do I feel blessed and surrendered?

It’s not like I have “all my ducks in a row” right now. It’s not like, in the most typical 3D terms, I have the “perfect life”. It’s not like I don’t also have some rounds of sadness move in and out of my field as my ache to share my space and my heart with others and eventually a mate continues to live inside of me.

But… what I do have, I have in spades. I have growing self-love. I have a community I’ve earned my way to drawing and being a part of. I have more resonance around me than ever before, geographically, in my ‘jobs’, in all of my relationships that I choose to keep close to me. I get to live with so much resonance that parts of me sometimes resist or create problems because they are so used to living with a baseline of “something is always wrong or about to go wrong”. This was a survival instinct, actually, that I don’t need anymore. And that is still very much landing in my heart AND soul!

I’m sharing all of this because it’s a message of what’s possible for you, too. For you and those parts of you who ache and long and sometimes fight to stay afloat in the world you’re living in. For those unbelievably courageous, beautiful parts of you that sometimes feel the opposite because that’s how much they have to shrink in order to fit into a life, a job, a relationship, that doesn’t support their bigness and especially YOUR bigness.

I’m also sharing this because it helps me really land in what I’ve earned, what I’ve done all of this inner work for, and to embrace the overflow of it all that wants so much to share this inner abundance with others. I can’t hoard it away, nor am I meant to. Nor are you meant to, when you feel blessed too… 🙂 So much pain and fear and angst sometimes is the default of what you share, perhaps. And to be in a place in your life but more importantly in your very BEing where this isn’t what is overflowing from you anymore is the invitation, always. No matter how many tough choices you may have to make along the way. The support and validation are waiting in the wings for you to go there and the healing is too.

I’m available for 1:1, 90min sessions for women of all ages if you feel the need for more support for your own next choice points and to start feeling your own parts/Metasoul aspects and their hard work, their pain, their desires too: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions

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Photo taken on beautiful Salt Spring Island… another geography I feel incredibly blessed to have access to! ❤

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Kalayna Solais is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for women, energy healer, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.