Category: Parts / Subpersonalities

The Healing Expressions Of The Rising Sacred Masculine, Pt. 1

Published on by Gabriel AmaraLeave a comment

An epic SoulFullHeart session with Raphael Awen this weekend. So much so, I will need to write this up in two parts. The first half was a revisiting of my inner masculine part named Marcus. Recently, I have been invited to partake more and more into reintegrating back into service by co-leading with Kalayna Solais a Saturday follow-up discussion group with those that attend the Wednesday Free-To-Be group calls. (For more info on the upcoming series go to soulfullheart.org/freetobe2)

This brought up some prior frequencies within my masculine to show up with some compensatory energy, meaning a little more energized and outbound due to some underlying feeling of inadequacies within him to be a leading edge part of this group. What came up for him was an image of a bull in a china shop. Like he is not sure how to be in a space when things get tender. My feminine is quite capable of holding that space, but Marcus, when he is ‘up’, can be a little more mental in those moments without letting the feeling just do the ‘talking’. 

He began to wonder, “What then is appropriate masculinity?”. That was a portal question to what feels like a grappling of the wounded masculine’s relationship to the feminine, as well as a reaction to what is referred to as ‘toxic masculinity’. There is this fine line of wanting to be in balance and honor with the feminine, express and claim his power and intuitions while avoiding this ‘toxic’ distinction. 

The first thing that was brought to him is that just this very question alone suggests his reverence for the feminine and the holding of the sacred space. It also mirrors a long-standing notion that the feminine is fragile. This was deeply ingrained in me from early on in my life as my mother was a very sensitive and emotional woman in the despair direction. This set up an unhealthy dynamic between her and my inner child that he had to make sure not to ‘hurt mom or else who knows what would happen to her’. 

Well, through much of my healing and experience with other powerful women, I recognized that this was a part of her wounded inner child tugging on my inner child. This ended up transmuting into recycled alcoholism and I eventually had to say no more. I had given all I could until it was clear I had to cut the cord of this dynamic. This has played out in multiple Metasoul timelines as well in regards to feelings of guilt and shame over how I had participated in the suppression and persecution of the women. 

Interesting that I find myself within a more feminine offering to explore and heal all of these wounds and beliefs that I have had around the Feminine itself and women in general. It inversely leads me to more of my own masculine expression as I connect with the relationship to my own feminine and how She is a portal into my sacred masculinity and my Love ambassadorship. But I have had to go here first. To my inner masculine and hash out these old dynamics and create a safe environment to let his masculine flourish like the wild stallion he is and wants to be. 

It felt appropriate to share this after Mother’s Day as a reminder that the relationship to Mom is an integral part of any man’s journey. It really needs to be brought into consciousness so that we can truly see and feel how we relate to Womankind and the Sacred Feminine. Thanks so much for taking this in and I hope that it shines some awareness and questions for your own journeys. 

*****

Gabriel Heartman is a SoulFullHeart Facilitant and Collaborator.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartorg.com for more information about sessions, group calls/events, videos, community, etc.

Scorpio Moon Energies Invite Embodiment & Integration

Published on by Kasha RosaLeave a comment

by Kalayna Solais

We’ve entered a new phase now where embodiment and integration of everything we’ve been feeling and healing so far is the ongoing process, even while there’s still so much more to keep feeling and healing.

Astrology is not my forte this life, but when I feel the ‘Scorpio’ energy of this full moon, this is what I feel is the invitation. To me, ‘Scorpio’ or even the energy of a scorpion itself, is about embodiment and integration as well as healthy physical self-protection and care… learning to BE in the body, which includes feeling in touch with our sexuality in such a way that it is tenderly treasured and held close but not suppressed or, conversely, exploited. It also includes taking the steps that are necessary in order to feel the gift of our physicality, even though the human body has been extremely dense and often challenging to inhabit.

The challenges of our embodiment as human beings comes from outside influences of trauma and also the encouragement to bypass or transcend pain instead of feeling it and the parts of us who hold it.

What happens when you start to move WITH the body through your emotional and spiritual processes? For me, this has meant dance, yoga, hiking, sometimes even just walking… and when necessary, giving much space for tears to fall and layers to shed even in the middle of doing any of these things and sometimes even during lovemaking within a deep Sacred Union too.

So many of us know how to be psychically present. Yet, what about the process of becoming PHYSICALLY present? This to me is the deeper process for so many, as you feel the pain of the parts of you who have been traumatized, especially from abuse and neglect of so many kinds.

Feeling trauma is NOT easy… especially in a culture where it’s still encouraged (though this is shifting) to remain outside of ourselves or to transcend or bury it and sometimes this has been necessary too in the name of survival. In order to live inside of our bodies more, the passageway of the emotional body is very real and powerful, and one of the most challenging to be with without healthy modeling around that. This is why you have parts that have formed from the trauma, to try and find a way to self-preserve and even just plain survive the ordeals of life, unable to let in the ideals of a life that is more integrated and stable, starting from within.

What a process this is… and along with that comes so much processing around the body itself, whether through chronic illness, which always can be traced back to emotional wounding and sometimes wounding on a Metasoul level too… or through simply not caring much for the physical body or what it looks like, which usually has roots in deep trauma too and the Inner Punisher part of you will energize this until they are felt in their reasons for seeing your body in this way. Actually, every part of you has a different relationship to your physicality and can often play a role in perpetuating instead of healing chronic illness or trauma.

I feel the Scorpio energy offering to make your body a safe haven for yourself and all parts of you. To set healthy boundaries around who gets access to it in the name of deep self-love and honouring. To treat it like your home and temple and as a place where every emotional or spiritual process can safely happen and move.

This is such a powerful invitation when I feel it! It’s not something we can ever be taught but it IS something we can choose. The process around truly and deeply inhabiting and loving the body is so multi-layered and multidimensional with so many gifts of awakening to the whole of our Sacred Humanity waiting on the other side.

***

Kalayna Solais is a Love Ambassador, SoulFullHeart Women’s Facilitator & collaborator, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheart.org for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Energy Update: 5:5 Gateway Energies Holding Space For Trauma Processing, Galactic Disclosure, Inner Teenager

Published on by Jelelle Awen1 Comment

By Jelelle Awen

The 5/5 Gateway is OPEN! This gateway feels like a golden highway of access to 5D and higher frequencies in your soul. The veil is thinner to access timelines of deep love embodiment and Unity consciousness experience. These are embodying frequencies, meaning the codes that are personal to YOU and what you need for the Next Level of your awakening journey. They are made to be digestable to your energy system and emotional body, whatever you (and parts of you) are ready and prepared to receive.

As I tune into the 5/5 gateway energies, I can see/feel the floods of high frequency light and love flowing into Gaia’s atmosphere and humanity’s too. Higher frequency spikes have been going on and picked up by the Schumann/Gaia resonance for the last few days, which has been a pattern for the last few weeks as well. The full moon on May 7th amplifies these 5:5 energies to allow more revelation as needed.

There are many, many light ships in the orbit of Gaia right now, wow! They are friendly skies with waves of support coming from them toward humanity and what we are going through. They feel Pleiadian, Sirian, Andromedan and even Orion (the friendly ones). They are invested in what our choices are going forward and they are ready to provide support to whoever needs it and wants it. Ask for it and you shall receive.

The sense is that they are disclosing themselves more and more to the mainstream 3D public yet still are hesitant to just ‘land on the White House lawn’ as many couldn’t digest that. More pictures and videos are showing up every day of these light ships uncloaking and then re-cloaking again; appearing in the skies in beams of bright light for brief moments. They are seen when they want to be seen.

And, with the recent disclosure of videos of ‘UFO ships’ from the U.S. Pentagon and confirmation FINALLY of their existence, more souls are opening up to the idea of humanity not being alone in the Universe. This ‘news’ flew under the radar of most souls with the Covid situation, yet those of us long connected to the galactic awakening process were celebrating this movement!

I am getting the sense (and have been for awhile) that the Covid-19 shutdown/pause/lock down is actually THE EVENT that so many of us have been anticipating for awhile. Rather than a stunning, high frequency solar flash that awakens masses of souls at once, this event is allowing for a MUCH needed detox from 3D life and the work-sleep-repeat suffering reality of it. This respects where each soul is and invites them into awakening.

It does feel like the event that was MOST needed for where humanity is at this moment in our evolutionary cycle. Even intended and created originally from a darker agenda of the Cabal, the virus itself is neutral and just ‘doing its job’ to disrupt the Matrix programmed reality that has so long been running.

Yes, it is uncomfortable. Yes, it is messy. It is pushing up LOTS of contentious, battling, polarizing, war-like energies. It is revealing people’s shadows and unconscious motivations and hidden agendas.

Yet, too, it is landing us in what is REAL for us and in our lives. Just like a fasting for the body, this is a fasting for ALL of us from 3D life. It is landing us in our truth and more souls are telling those truths despite how others react, a KEY place to move through in awakening and unplugging from the social conformity Matrix programming.

Each of us are being invited to feel what is real for us in this moment in all areas of our lives in terms of how we earn money, our social worlds, our physical bodies, our spiritual awakenings, and more. Traumatic experiences from the ‘past’ are coming up to be felt in this pause time as well. There are not the usual distractions of everyday life routines to provide an escape from what needs to be felt.

This trauma is waiting to be felt and digested with parts of you who need you. The Inner Teenager seems to be coming up powerfully right now. The Inner Teenager comes forward with a rebel attitude towards being ‘told what to do by authority’, and pushing back on the 3D (and 4D Matrix) control systems.

This can especially be felt in the United States and the protests against the shut downs either in the physical or via online/virtual sharings and disclosure movements such as QAnon. This is an important aspect of claiming individual sovereignty during awakening that each soul needs to go through in their own ways. The U.S. is leading the way for other countries on how to collapse the tyrannical Matrix systems, even if it is messy process as ALL births are.

The 5:5 energies are supporting and holding space for these sometimes painful, messy, and difficult explorations inside and outside. Rather than creating a transcendance or bypassing out of your emotional body realities, they are encouraging you to find and discover a personal bridge inside to them that allows the deeper feeling space to transmute and move what needs to from trauma to love.

Arising out of this messy phase is the possibilities and realizations of a 5D Golden Earth and next Golden Age for Sacred Humanity. Arising out of this is the embodiment of each of us individually as the Infinite Love that we ARE!

Love,

Jelelle Awen

Raphael and I will be providing a bridge to 5D energies via sharings and a guided meditation for our last Free To Be Group call tomorrow Wednesday May 6 at 10:00am PDT. You are welcome to join us or receive the recording by offering a donation at soulfullheart.org/shop or paypal.me/jelelleawen. You don’t need to have attended the previous group calls to come to this one.

Our next Free To Be: Navigating the Matrix Collapse to New Earth weekly group call series for six weeks starts on May 20! Hope you can join us live and/or receive the recordings! More info here: soulfullheart.org/freetobe2

Jelelle Awen is Co-Creator/Teacher/Group Facilitator/Ambassador of SoulFullHeart, a healing process and paradigm offering New Gaia Ascension frequencies to transmute trauma into love on emotional/spiritual/physical levels. For information about 1:1 sessions with SoulFullHeart Facilitators, virtual group call events, writings/books, and videos, visit soulfullheart.org.

Choosing A Sovereign New Earth Domain

Published on by Gabriel AmaraLeave a comment

In my last session with my facilitator and mentor, Raphael Awen, I found myself at the gates of what parts of me refer to as ‘The System’. In its basic form it is the Institution of Authority (administered by the captive reptilian race that is inextricably entwined with us). The rules, norms, and programs set in place by alleged ‘experts’ and ‘elected’ officials to manage, manipulate, control, and confine our innate, co-creative God self. 

I realized in the juxtaposition of my God self, my reptilian, and this System, that we have been, and still are, willing participants in this arrangement. If I truly feel myself as a spark of Universal Creation, then I have to be willing to accept that I have been in cahoots with this dynamic. Otherwise, I am just a disempowered victim and my only freedom exists from either joining the System or battling It (and thus, my reptilian self), or choosing to suffer in it. Neither of which feels appealing or at all a reflection of my desire to be truly free, sovereign, and in Love. 

In the process, I realized how much I, and parts of me, have accepted the ‘rules’ as such. What if I choose not to lend my energy to the Institutionalized Consciousness, but to give it thanks for what it did offer me, like a parent who raised me for a certain portion of my life, and now choosing emancipation and sovereignty? Can I do that? 

Well, energetically, why the hell not? I can transport myself and my conditioned parts into a new world where there is no virus, no fiat currency, no taxes, lawyers, licensure, registrations, or documents to be signed, sealed, and delivered. I can freely travel there without a ‘valid form of identification’. I can seed that into my consciousness and let it find its way into this ‘physical’ reality the more I feel the parts of me that are skeptical and in doubt. 

The biggest thing to feel is what the hell would I do without those constraints? Is that the biggest fear? Of actually being so damn free that I could actually live and love in abundance and not just ‘dream’ about it? Fuck yeah, man! I choose to believe in that. Matter of fact, science is proving that to be the very case! So while that world is not staring at me square in the face, it does in my heart and my soul. That energy of feeling free is the seed of BEing free. I am under no illusion it will take time to manifest. But the more I continue to say “thanks, but no thanks” to the outer authority, institution, and systems, then I continue to break those chains that keep me and It locked in this dance. 

So, I face the System within. I look square at it. I give it gratitude and appreciation for all that it offered and taught me about myself. Now it is time to do this thing MY way. One felt, conscious step at a time.

*****

Gabriel Heartman is a Facilitant and Collaborator with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartorg.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Consciously Becoming A ‘Love Ambassador’

Published on by Kasha RosaLeave a comment

by Kalayna Solais

To become your ‘Love Ambassador self’ is more than just an intention, though that is a beautiful seed to start off with. It’s a real invitation to embody compassion and empathy. It’s deeper than diplomacy. It’s deeper than simply claiming that you love everything and everyone. It’s a true and deep staircase into the depths of shadow and the heights of Divine love.

To become an ‘ambassador’ is to see and feel your next steps become clearer for this embodiment picture… to be willing to see, feel, experience, and come to know your own shadow so that you can support others in their own explorations. To this same depth, the steps of being able to go higher, to see the bigger, meta-picture of what’s REALLY going on and the Divine glue that’s holding it all together, are just as alive and deeply necessary.

You become through all of this a link, a connection, a bridge between aspects of your own soul, parts of you, parts and aspects of others around you and especially those who come to you for space holding, feeling your experiences and your embodied capacity for compassion.

This is a Divinely appointed leadership that cannot be trained or certified, only lived into and loved with all your heart and soul as you awaken to the desire to become this, as you feel how much you want to move every aspect and part of you beyond polarity and heal any need inside to still experience that as your primary reality. You’re a work in progress, always, and there’s always more to explore, but it’s your integrity in doing this that makes you a Love Ambassador… not perfection.

As we continue to walk out these challenging times on all dimensions and depths of consciousness, the call to become this ‘Love Ambassador self’ is undeniable and also becoming more and more necessary to answer! I myself find the daily challenge of feeling reactions and learning what I need personally in order to find this deeper embodiment to be an enlivening but also sobering process. I feel clarity come in about next steps and what there is to feel through as well as pictures, images, energetic impressions of who I most want to become from the inside, out. I imagine this is similar for everyone on this planet whose soul is choosing to awaken at this time!

We’re in the middle of becoming a planet full of Love Ambassadors, each with our own signature coming straight from our Divinely beautiful and healing souls… even through the messiness of the ongoing process.

Much love,
Kalayna ❤

***

Kalayna Solais is a Love Ambassador, SoulFullHeart Women’s Facilitator & collaborator, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheart.org for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. 

3D/4D Freedom Starts From Within

Published on by Gabriel AmaraLeave a comment

For the first time in my life I can honestly say that I feel free. Free from my FUSIONS to fear, doubt, and lack. But I am not free FROM feeling fear, doubt, and lack. Those to me are part of my human journey and integration. In states of fusion, I have become the energy of those things wholesale. No way to see through or around the density of the frequency. However, the process of feeling these emotions and energies as PARTS of me created space and distance. 

This distance has been short lived at times. Well, to be honest, many times. Yet, with each separation something continued to seed inside. Each one opened doorways to deeper and deeper programs, addictions, conditions, and traumas. It has felt like a video game at times where you go to more and more challenging levels to get to the doorway to the next one! 

Recently, I entered a Reptilian level. This one has proved, for me, to be a game-changer. This visceral and emotive awareness of my 4D Reptilian Self, has helped to feel a dismantling of something very core in me. This constant foreboding feeling that life is not going to go my ‘way’. A feeling that, no matter what good was in my life, it was not going to last or I was not worthy of it. This, I am realizing, has all been a part of the transmission. 

I have known this in my mind, yet in my heart and soul it continued to linger. Like a phantom mechanism. When held in ‘captivity’ for so long, it is hard to reintegrate and immerse back into the fold of the way it used to be. The captive may even find comfort in the way things were as it was known and predictable. This is what I am realizing about my past processes. 

But now, I am seeing and feeling something different. I am sitting with my Reptilian self outside the prison walls just witnessing. Not rushing into any definitive conclusions other than just what it FEELS like. Breathing in the air of freedom for what feels like an eternity for both of us. While we are not free to just do what we want on the outside, to feel this freedom within feels like the precursor to what is ready to manifest on the outside. 

The lesson for me…free yourself from within. The key is there. You just have to feel your way through the dark sometimes. 

*****

Gabriel Heartman is a Facilitant and Collaborator with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartorg.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. 

SoulFullHeart Weekly Museletter: The Awakening Of The Reptilian Self

Published on by Gabriel AmaraLeave a comment

This week there has been a big focus on the 4D Matrix and the awakening that is happening all over the world in regards to the lockdown and what it is exposing about the power structures in place. This is having an impact on the Inner Masculine as well as more awareness of our Reptilian aspects that are just as imprisoned in this matrix. Read the full Museletter here.

Featured this week is a piece from Gabriel Heartman. In it, he digests his own personal experience around the emergence and awakening of his own Reptilian Self and its impact on his healing and connection to the Inner Masculine:

It is this break away from The System that my reptilian is experiencing. This feeling of ‘what the fuck am I if I am not this’? Trying to piece together the ‘past’ and remember the Garden of Eden from whence he came. Yet, there is something he knows he wants to be a part of. He wants to be a part of putting an end to this once and for all. He wants to help expose and collapse the frequency that has his race in energetic and emotional chains and thus humanity’s. They are inextricably entwined.

The ‘Free To Be’ group call series continues this Wednesday, April 29th @ 10am PDT. It’s already week five! If you’ve missed the previous calls, you can offer a donation at any time and receive the recording and also the link to attend any of the future calls live if you can or want to.

During this week’s call we will focus on the bigger picture around the Reptilian entwinement with our human 3D reality and the need to unplug from the AI Matrix in the 4D as well during this time. The guided meditation will offer you connection with your Reptilian Self and other Star Family to help you unplug and move from captive to ambassador.

For more information about this series, visit soulfullheart.org/freetobe

There is a video by Gabriel Heartman sharing his reflections and digestions of being back as a facilitant and part of the support team. There is also a video of sample clips from the last Free To Be series with Raphael and Jelelle Awen to give you a sense of what those groups are like and the teachings that are included.

Also this week is the emergence of Monica Devi Bhakti as a new author on the blog and Collaborator with SoulFullHeart! There are many new articles and audio blogs this week from SoulFullHeart Facilitators/teachers, Raphael and Jelelle Awen, as well as SoulFullHeart Facilitator Kalayna Solais and facilitants Gabriel Heartman and Deva Yasmin. There are energy updates, personal process digestions, and ways to look at and feel what is happening on the 3D, 4D, and 5D consciousness levels.

Check out our ‘Quotes of The Week’ section for some quote cards you can save and share! If you can, please do tag us whenever possible.

Raphael Awen and Kalayna Solais are available for 1:1 sessions to support you and your ongoing process. Raphael works with men and women and Kalayna works with women only. More info here: soulfullheart.org/sessions

Thank you so much for your interest in and support of SoulFullHeart Healing!

You can offer a donation to SoulFullHeart via PayPal here: paypal.me/jelelleawen

You can subscribe to our Museletters here: soulfullheart.org

Check out the latest Museletter here.

The Gift Of Humility And Gratitude

Published on by Gabriel Amara1 Comment

Yesterday was the first time I had been in a SoulFullHeart group space for a few months. While in one way it felt like yesterday, it was also a huge gap for parts of me that have been in deep feeling space and processing over that time. This is such evidence of how we live on many different dimensions at once and time is just does not have a standard trajectory, nor is real in many ways.

My movement with my masculine and reptilian self two days prior really felt to pave the way for this reunion. I could feel some nervousness and doubts from parts of me that I would be at that frequency to be able to vibe into the coherence. This of course is one big projection of my own lack of worth that I have been working on since I parted in January.

However, through the process that I had, I felt a clearing inside of me that ‘moulted’ away the layer that was holding this reaction and energy. I could feel myself more in the space as Gabriel, the being that really never left yet has come back with a new relationship to himself and the world around him. That difference, I noticed last night, was that of authentic humility and gratitude.

These two emotional grounds are the result of the self-love and deep, wounded ego healing that I went through while I was away. I could feel a reverence of the space, the beloveds in front of me, but more importantly the reverence and care for myself that had been cultivated during this time. I felt my parts being held by me and leaning into the goodness that was alive in the space. There was no self-judgement or comparison going on that seemed to run underground in the past.

I felt who I was and where I was in the ‘order’ of things and felt so very present to the goodness of that. Not trying to be anything I wasn’t. This is all that has ever been asked of me, yet I hadn’t asked of it from myself. This time I have and it felt palpably different. I have to owe all of that shift to parts work and my own dedication to it. Even if things were to shift at some point and I find myself on my own again, I have a me that can’t leave me. I would go through grief, for sure, but I would not perish or suffer.

It is with this humility and gratitude that I can ride the waves of what the universe bestows upon me whether it be as a collaborator, a support system, a facilitator, or all three! I know this is where I belong in whatever fashion. This is my family, my community, and my way of life. And for that it was all worth it.

*****

Gabriel Heartman is a Facilitant and Collaborator with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartorg.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

The Awakening Of The Reptilian Self

Published on by Gabriel Amara1 Comment

Yesterday was a very emotionally heavy and visceral day for me. I have been feeling rumbles within my masculine over the past several days in response to what he was calling The System. We all know what that means, i.e. the particularities of living in a 3rd density world. Laws, social norms, bureaucracy, money, et al. There was this arising desire to fuck it all and just go live in a nearby park and detach himself from it all. It had a ring of freedom in it. I have the capacity in my soul to just live simply and on the land, which I did in Mexico with my SoulFullHeart beloveds, so it wouldn’t be a huge deal in some way.

Yet, in these reactions there is always something deeper. As was offered to me in our SoulFullHeart Facebook group, the desire to be free is an aspect of feeling a freedom of expression, my masculine expression. That landed very deeply and I could feel my inner masculine, Marcus, resonating with that. He was feeling the ways in which his own creativity has been used in a very practical way in order to survive and manage in the world. Not a very sacred use of his power and passion, but also very necessary.

As I woke up yesterday, I felt an anger begin to swell about all of this from within. I let him vent it out to get to a raw place and then deep tears came. A flood that seemed to last off and on for most of the day in between falling asleep several times. A feeling of hopelessness came over me that was hard to get a hold of so I just let it be. Let it take its course. I was offered by Raphael that there is some grid work that I was working on that is connected to the collective rumbles that are going on. I had felt earlier how these types of uncertain reactions are deeper responses to what is moving in the world. Sometimes it just takes me away and is hard to find me in all of it.

As the energy continued to move through me I began to get an awareness of my reptilian self name Gilesh. I have connected with him briefly in the past but it never got to a visceral awareness. Marcus, my wounded masculine, was a doorway to my reptilian aspect. I feel how this may be true for a lot of us. This hierarchical power structure that leads all the way to the Wizard of Oz itself, the AI. Once I was able to see him, so much began to come to the surface. I realized he was awakening into his and my awareness, really, for the first time.

I saw him lying on a kind of hospital bed with cords all around him, having been unplugged and in reaction to what he was experiencing. It was like an enormous detox from the centuries of being imprisoned, conditioned, and controlled. Very similar to the scene in The Matrix where Neo wakes up to his reality. I sat with him and just held the space for him to feel. A lot of rage and despair came from remembering what and who he was before the ‘take over’ he calls it.

This is quite significant for me. I have been really wanting to access this aspect of me because I could feel how much it has played a part in my life in regards to this feeling of acquiescence and rebellion in the same space. I have felt a suffering in space between and all along it was his! I got how much suffering this poor being has been in. How much trauma he has witnessed and been a part of all in the name of supplying the ‘loosh’ for the entities that were in control of the Matrix itself as well as its AI creator.
It is this break away from The System that my reptilian is experiencing. This feeling of ‘what the fuck am I if I am not this’? Trying to piece together the ‘past’ and remember the Garden of Eden from whence he came. Yet, there is something he knows he wants to be a part of. He wants to be a part of putting an end to this once and for all. He wants to help expose and collapse the frequency that has his race in energetic and emotional chains and thus humanity’s. They are inextricably entwined.

This will be a process of moving from angst, to guilt, to forgiveness, to compassion. I feel his power as my power. His masculine as a part of mine. This awakening feels like it will help ambassador something in the collective as we begin to learn more and more of The System and what it has done to humanity and to its children especially. It is a process of seeing how we have always been a part of it in one way or another. Yet there needs to be a space for the process of awakening and of grief. It is personal and quantum and has the potential to change our world forever. But for now, it is all about giving him all the love that is needed to find out who he really is outside of Hell.

*****

Join Raphael and Jelelle Awen for the 5th group call in the Free To Be series titled Unplugging From The 4D AI Matrix this coming Wednesday, April 29th at 10AM PST or get the recording if you can’t make it live. Go to www.soulfullheart.org/freetobe for more info.

If you feel guided to connect with your Reptilian Self I recommend Jelelle’s Deepen series video and meditation on this topic here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pA7ZjZj2K8M&list=PLNmrHdaQSAvLjwm17eBBTRhE3dbezYJdu&index=5

*****

Gabriel Heartman is a Facilitant and Collaborator with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartorg.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

What We Heal In Ourselves We Heal In The World

Published on by monicabhakti4 Comments

by Monica Devi Bhakti

Today I found myself deep in a spin of the fear control matrix. I was feeling the intensity of my emotions, as well as the emotions of the collective. I reached out and got wise words from this beautiful SoulFullHeart community. Many thanks especially to Gabriel Heartman.

I also remembered back with gratitude to a session with Jelelle Awen, recognizing the need to disconnect from the collective, to find myself and my truth.

I went in and checked in with my parts. I found a Young One deep in fear, and my Inner Punisher running rampant – or so I thought. What I realized then, was that my Punisher was my Inner Masculine, actually trying to help the Young One. He was in a frenzy trying to find what would help this little one’s fear and help her feel safe. He felt so helpless and was lashing out, demanding that I make a plan and take action, even if I don’t know where I am going, or what is next for me. This sent me down endless rabbit holes of possibilities as if just taking just any action would assuage the fear. And I did take some actions and explore some possibilities. This helped for a bit. What helped more was to engage the deep well of the Inner Sacred Feminine – to allow the feelings, to allow that they are not wrong, not something that I need to make go away, but to listen to and honor deeply. These feelings do not need to be forcefully “shifted” into a ”higher consciousness” – that in fact to try to do so, was an act of aggression towards myself and spiritual bypass. Not to mention a judgment of what is good and what is not, what is “light” and what is not. As I have said – What part of All That Is, am I trying to make not a part of All That Is? What part of knowing that everything is the light, am I denying?

I find if we want to “fix” something, it’s because it makes us uncomfortable, and we are judging it. We want it to go away.

I realized that this is also part of what is happening in the collective. Theories and opinions about the actions of others, and who will stay in 3D and who will move into higher planes of consciousness, are so prevalent. I also notice how many are full of spiritual judgment and bypass. I’m speaking here of the conversations that do not include the essential ingredient of compassion. The bridging needed in the world – that this SoulFullHeart work helps do so beautifully within ourselves.

When we see the darkness, the actions that others have taken that seem so heinous, of course we have emotion and recoil. It scares us. It scares us that there is pain out there so deep, that it would turn on others in such awful ways. It shows us that Inner Punishers, unchecked and unloved, can become outer Tyrants and Abusers.

I know the truth that actions such as those only come from deep, unfelt pain and wounding. I know it because I have seen it, over and over. I have experienced it, over and over. One in self-love simply does not take those actions.

Love does not harm.

So what will help that deep wounding? Will ostracizing others and making them wrong – even in subtle spiritual ways – bring healing? If it doesn’t work inside, why would it work outside?

My experience today is that compassion, love will always be the one true answer.

I can so easily allow and witness the shadow in the world and others with non-judgment and compassion. Hold sacred space. My challenge currently is to witness and allow my deep shadow. Hold sacred space, and be, as Jelelle says, ‘the Love Ambassador’ – to myself.

What we heal in ourselves, we heal in the world.

May peace and love be mine, and yours, today and always.

***Monica Devi Bhakti is a SoulFullHeart Facilitatant, Collaborator, holder of sacred space, love generator, healer and writer.  Visit https://www.soulfullheart.org for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.